1 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,813 STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH... 2 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,316 WITH RONNY HOWARD... 3 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,686 ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS. 4 00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:25,726 HI, ANGE. 5 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,128 HELLO, BARN. 6 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:37,505 BOY, YOU SURE ARE HAPPY TODAY. 7 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,207 YEAH. YOU BET I AM. 8 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,144 AND HERE'S 300 LITTLE REASONS WHY. 9 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,213 $300? 10 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,480 THAT'S RIGHT. 11 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,682 THAT'S ALL YOU HAD IN THE BANK, AIN'T IT? 12 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:49,850 YEAH. I DREW IT OUT. 13 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,285 FOR WHAT? 14 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,221 GUESS. I CAN'T GUESS. 15 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,189 GUESS. I CAN'T GUESS. 16 00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:56,590 GUESS! WELL... 17 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,292 I'M GONNA BUY A CAR. 18 00:00:58,326 --> 00:00:59,793 YOU'RE GONNA WHAT? 19 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,229 I'M GONNA BUY A CAR. 20 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,796 I DREW MY SAVINGS OUT OF THE BANK 21 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,099 AND I'M GONNA GET MYSELF AN AUTOMOBILE. 22 00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,467 THAT'S YOUR NEST EGG. 23 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,203 NEST EGG NOTWITHSTANDING, I'M GONNA LIVE A LITTLE. 24 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,538 ARE YOU SURE? 25 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,473 YOU'RE WELCOME TO THE PATROL CAR ANYTIME. 26 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,442 THANKS BUT NO, THANKS. 27 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,477 ABOUT TIME I HAD A CAR OF MY OWN. 28 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,780 FROM NOW ON, I AM MR. INDEPENDENT WHEELS. 29 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:25,219 HERE'S ONE FOR A FIXER-UPPER. 30 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,157 "1949 HUDSON TERRAPLANE -- 31 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:33,194 "WAS FALLEN ON LAST SATURDAY BY A 30-TON SEMI TRAILER. 32 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,863 "LOTS OF MILES LEFT IN THE RUBBER. 33 00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:38,866 CASH OR SWAP FOR 12 GOOD LAYING HENS." 34 00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:42,203 I WONDER WHAT KIND OF SHAPE THAT'S IN. 35 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,138 HEY, BARN. HMM? 36 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,406 TOMORROW'S SUNDAY. 37 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,807 WHY DON'T YOU WAIT TILL THE FIRST OF THE WEEK 38 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,542 BEFORE YOU MAKE SUCH A BIG DECISION? 39 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:52,646 ANGE, WHEN THE OLD STEEL TRAP IN HERE HAS MADE UP ITS MIND, 40 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,248 THERE'S NO TURNING BACK. 41 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,785 HEY, ANGE? 42 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,153 HMM? 43 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,855 THIS LOOKS RIGHT UP MY STREET. 44 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,924 "AGED WIDOW MUST SELL 45 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,295 "BEAUTIFULLY MAINTAINED LOW-MILEAGE CAR. 46 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:10,798 "ONE OWNER. 1954 FORD SEDAN 47 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,801 "HAS BEEN DRIVEN ONLY TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY 48 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,637 "AND ONCE A YEAR TO AUNT MARTHA'S FOR THANKSGIVING. 49 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,838 "NO DEALERS. 50 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,473 "ANY REASONABLE OFFER. 51 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:24,712 THE GOOD LORD WILLING, YOU'LL CALL MP-3791." 52 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,414 THAT'S OVER IN MT. PILOT. 53 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,483 YOU SEE? THIS IS THE DAY I'M SUPPOSED TO BUY A CAR. 54 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,585 IT'S THE OLD HANDWRITING ON THE WALL. 55 00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,621 "BUY A CAR TODAY, BARNEY!" 56 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:38,526 RELAX, BARN. COME ON. SIT DOWN. 57 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,461 THE CAR WILL BE HERE IN A MINUTE. 58 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,540 THIS IS JUST ABOUT THE BIGGEST THING I EVER BOUGHT. 59 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:53,741 IT'S A MAJOR STEP. 60 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,543 LAST BIG BUY I MADE WAS 61 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,212 MY MOM'S AND DAD'S ANNIVERSARY PRESENT. 62 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,447 WHAT'D YOU GET 'EM? 63 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,349 SEPTIC TANK. 64 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,288 FOR THEIR ANNIVERSARY? 65 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:08,456 YEAH. 66 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,324 OH, THEY'RE REALLY HARD TO BUY FOR. 67 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,526 BESIDES, IT WAS SOMETHING THEY COULD USE. 68 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,328 THEY WERE REALLY THRILLED. 69 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:17,698 TWO TONS OF CONCRETE, ALL STEEL REINFORCED. 70 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,471 YOU'RE A FINE SON, BARN. 71 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:25,239 WELL, I TRY. 72 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,717 DID YOU SEE THAT? 73 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,452 THAT'S THE TIP-OFF. 74 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:14,855 THIS CAR'S JUST BEEN SITTIN' ON A VELVET PILLOW. 75 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,557 MRS. LESCH! 76 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,292 YES. 77 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:19,593 MR. FIFE? 78 00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,462 THAT'S RIGHT, MA'AM. 79 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:24,898 WELL, I GUESS THIS IS THE, UH, THE CAR, HUH? 80 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:28,769 THIS IS, UH, MY LATE HUSBAND'S MACHINE. 81 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,037 OH, I'M SORRY. 82 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,506 OH, MY FRIEND ANDY TAYLOR. 83 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:33,774 HOW DO, MA'AM? 84 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:34,975 PLEASURE. 85 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,910 WELL, YOU MIND IF I GIVE HER A ONCE 86 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,046 OH, MERCY. YOU DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE. 87 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,047 ALL RIGHT. 88 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,449 I-I'M SORRY I'M LATE. 89 00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:43,484 IT TOOK ME FOUR HOURS FROM MT. PILOT. 90 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,319 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TROUBLE, DID YOU? 91 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,321 IT USUALLY TAKES JUST ABOUT A HOUR. 92 00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,423 OH, WELL, I NEVER DRIVE THE MACHINE 93 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,758 OVER 25 MILES AN HOUR 94 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,360 AND I ALSO LIKE TO GIVE IT 95 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,462 A TEN-MINUTES' REST EVERY HALF HOUR. 96 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:55,996 HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR IT? 97 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,867 WELL, UH, COULDN'T WE TALK JUST A LITTLE BIT? 98 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,602 I HARDLY KNOW YOU. 99 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,036 OH, WELL, MRS. LESCH... 100 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,506 IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT HIS CREDIT RATING, 101 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:06,674 I CAN VOUCH FOR THAT. 102 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,109 OH, NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 103 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:13,013 YOU SEE, MY HUSBAND LOVED AND CHERISHED THIS MACHINE. 104 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:17,084 HE WANTED TO MAKE SURE IT-IT GOT A GOOD HOME 105 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,787 SO, SO YOU SEE, MONEY IS NOT 106 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,423 THE PRIME OBJECTIVE HERE. 107 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:26,360 WELL, I'M KNOWN AS A VERY NICE PERSON, MRS. LESCH. 108 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:29,096 YOU CAN ASK ANYBODY HERE IN TOWN, RIGHT, ANGE? 109 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,864 YOU CERTAINLY CAN. 110 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,833 THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. 111 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,002 EVEN IF YOU HADN'T SAID ANYTHING, 112 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:39,373 I COULD TELL THERE WAS A LOT OF KINDNESS BEHIND THOSE EYES. 113 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,475 WELL, THAT'S ME. 114 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:43,444 KIND BEHIND THE EYES. 115 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:44,945 HOW MUCH DID YOU WANT? 116 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:49,917 WELL, UH, I DO OWE THE PILOT PINES FUNERAL PARLOR $140 117 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:54,021 AND THEN THERE'S THE LAWYER AND DAD DID LEAVE 118 00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,389 A FEW DEBTS. 119 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,725 HE-HE WASN'T VERY GOOD WITH MONEY. 120 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,127 I BET HE HAD A GOOD HEART, THOUGH. 121 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,031 OH, BLESS YOU. 122 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,899 YOU TALK LIKE YOU KNEW HIM. 123 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,470 SUPPOSE I GIVE YOU... 124 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:10,838 UH, UH, UH, BARN...? 125 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,106 MRS. LESCH, WOULD YOU EXCUSE US JUST A MINUTE? 126 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,374 OF COURSE. 127 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:18,846 DON'T YOU THINK 128 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,180 YOU'RE JUMPING INTO THIS THING AWFUL FAST? 129 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,782 ANDY, I DON'T WANT TO LOSE IT. 130 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,951 THERE AIN'T ANOTHER BUYER IN 20 FEET OF YOU. 131 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,719 I'D ADVISE YOU TO TAKE A SPIN IN IT. 132 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,120 GO OVER TO THE FILLIN' STATION 133 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,056 AND LET WALLY CRAWL UNDERNEATH AND LOOK IT OVER. 134 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,658 I'D BE INSULTING HER. 135 00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,092 IT WOULDN'T BE AN INSULT. THIS IS BUSINESS. 136 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,561 IT'S A BIG STEP IN YOUR LIFE. 137 00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,728 MR. FIFE? 138 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:35,863 YES? 139 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,665 IF, UH, IF YOU'D LIKE 140 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:40,033 TO DRIVE THE CAR AROUND A LITTLE BIT, 141 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,635 YOU FEEL FREE TO DO SO. 142 00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,171 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU TAKE IT 143 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,474 TO A MECHANIC YOU CAN TRUST AND HAVE HIM LOOK IT OVER... 144 00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:47,908 I TRUST YOU, MRS. LESCH. 145 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,544 WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT, BARN? 146 00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:52,880 AFTER ALL, I AM A STRANGER TO YOU. 147 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:56,183 NOW, PLEASE, GET IN THE CAR AND, AND TAKE IT TO A MECHANIC. 148 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,551 NO! 149 00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:59,520 NOW HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT, MRS. LESCH? 150 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,090 OH, I KNOW SO LITTLE ABOUT SUCH MATTERS... 151 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,026 WELL, UH, NOBODY ASKED ME, 152 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,896 BUT I'D SAY A HUNDRED DOLLARS IS A RIGHT FAIR PRICE. 153 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,998 THAT CAR IS NEARLY TEN YEARS OLD. 154 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,535 EXCUSE ME, MRS. LESCH. 155 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,737 ANDY, THAT'S AN INSULT. 156 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,205 I'VE GOT $300. 157 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,710 UH, MR. FIFE... 158 00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,978 I-I HAVE THE TOTAL ON THOSE FIGURES. 159 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:26,747 THE FUNERAL HOME, THE LAWYER, 160 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,716 THE PROPERTY AND INHERITANCE TAX 161 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:32,853 AND IT COMES TO $297.50. 162 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:33,887 WHAT A COINCIDENCE. 163 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:35,055 I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE... 164 00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:37,625 WELL, IT'S PROBABLY MORE, BUT, UH, 165 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:41,595 I'M SO MUDDLE-HEADED SINCE MY DEAR LATE BERNARD PASSED ON. 166 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,231 BERNARD? 167 00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:47,134 THAT WAS YOUR HUSBAND'S NAME? 168 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,902 THAT'S MY NAME! 169 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,037 THEY CALL ME BARNEY, 170 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,139 BUT THAT'S JUST A NICK FOR BERNARD. 171 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,942 B 172 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,143 YEAH. 173 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,245 OH. OH, I FEEL JUST AS IF THE CAR'S 174 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,147 GOING TO STAY IN THE FAMILY. 175 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,616 LET'S MAKE THE DEAL RIGHT HERE AND NOW. 176 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,251 HERE'S $300 EVEN. 177 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:09,289 AND I'LL GIVE YOU, UH, $2.50 CHANGE. 178 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,758 NO. MRS. LESCH... 179 00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:13,827 THAT'S FOR MR. LESCH'S FAVORITE CHARITY. 180 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,032 BLESS YOU. 181 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,300 ALL RIGHT. 182 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,069 I'LL, UH, I'LL HAVE TO MAIL YOU 183 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,637 THE OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE. 184 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,073 MAIL HIM? BUT, UH, I THOUGHT... 185 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,541 ANDY, I'LL HANDLE THIS. 186 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:29,710 THAT'S PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT, MRS. LESCH. 187 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,113 HERE ARE THE KEYS. 188 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,751 RABBIT'S FOOT. 189 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:39,720 THAT WAS MY BARNEY'S. 190 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,293 YOU PROBABLY WANT TO KEEP THIS FOR YOUR SCRAPBOOK. 191 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:50,764 NO. I WANT YOU TO KEEP IT. 192 00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:55,969 LET ME DRIVE YOU TO MT. PILOT? 193 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,739 NO, THANK YOU. THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY. 194 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:02,075 MY NEPHEW IS PICKING ME UP AT THE CHURCH AROUND THE CORNER. 195 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,911 I'LL HAVE A MOMENT TO MEDITATE. 196 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,180 BLESS YOU. 197 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,971 DON'T LOOK BACK, MRS. LESCH. 198 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,324 HOW'D YOU DO, MYRT? 199 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,960 UNLOADED ANOTHER ONE, JAKE. 200 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,996 300 EASY CLAMS FROM THE SUCKER OF THE WORLD. 201 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,264 LET'S BLOW. 202 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,766 BLESS YOU, JAKE. 203 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,906 NICE. 204 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,175 ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, LET ME HAVE YOUR ATTENTION. 205 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,077 LET ME HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE. 206 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,079 EVERYBODY, LET ME HAVE YOUR ATTENTION. 207 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,715 OPE, DON'T LEAN AGAINST THE CAR. 208 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,016 LET'S GET THIS RIDE STARTED. 209 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,184 WHERE DO YOU WANT US TO SIT? 210 00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,185 WELL, LET'S SEE. 211 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,920 UM, AUNT BEE... 212 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,256 LET'S SEE, I WANT TO DISTRIBUTE THE WEIGHT EVEN 213 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,658 SO SHE'LL RIDE SMOOTH. 214 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:26,093 FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, BARN, 215 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,895 IT'S NOT A BOAT OR A AIRPLANE. 216 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:30,163 I JUST DON'T WANT TO OVERLOAD THE SPRINGS! 217 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,699 I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. 218 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,734 ALL RIGHT, NOW FOR THE BACK SEAT. 219 00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,769 AUNT BEE, YOU SIT IN THE BACK SEAT 220 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:36,937 AND, GOMER, YOU SIT 221 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,772 IN THE BACK SEAT WITH AUNT BEE 222 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:39,973 AND, OPE, YOU SIT 223 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,142 IN THE BACK SEAT WITH GOMER AND AUNT BEE. 224 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,311 NOW THAT TAKES CARE OF THE BACK SEAT. 225 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,813 NOW FOR THE FRONT SEAT: 226 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,682 NOW, I'LL DRIVE, SO I'LL SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT 227 00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,183 AND, THELMA LOU, YOU'LL SIT 228 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,319 IN THE FRONT SEAT NEXT TO THE DRIVER 229 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,987 AND, ANDY, YOU'LL SIT IN THE FRONT SEAT 230 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,255 NEXT TO THELMA LOU AND THE DRIVER. 231 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,290 AND THAT TAKES CARE OF THE FRONT SEAT. 232 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,792 OKAY, ANGE? FINE. 233 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,694 OKAY, ALL YOU PEOPLE ASSIGNED TO THE BACK SEAT 234 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,329 LOAD UP! 235 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,031 DON'T OPEN THE DOOR, OPE. DON'T TOUCH THE DOOR. 236 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,033 I KNOW HOW TO OPEN A CAR DOOR. 237 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,101 I'LL HANDLE THE DOOR. LET'S GO. EVERYBODY IN. 238 00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,236 AUNT BEE IN FIRST. 239 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,038 I LIKE THE BACK SEAT. 240 00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:14,107 OKAY, THAT'S IT-- THEN OPE. OPE GOES IN NEXT. 241 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,977 YOU GOING TO DO IT, OR YOU WANT ME TO DO IT? 242 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,311 OH, JUST GET IN! 243 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:27,354 YOU ALL RIGHT THERE, GOMER? 244 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,756 THIS JUST HAPPENS TO BE 245 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,323 A VERY DELICATE PIECE OF MACHINERY 246 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,992 THAT'S BEEN TREATED WITH KID GLOVES 247 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,260 AND I INTEND TO CONTINUE 248 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:35,162 TO GIVE IT THAT SAME KIND OF CARE. 249 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,164 I ADMIRE YOU FOR THAT, BARNEY. 250 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,799 THAT'S JUST WHAT I'D DO. 251 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,238 ALL RIGHT, IS EVERYBODY SET BACK THERE? 252 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,239 I'M ALL SET. 253 00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:47,274 I'M ALL SET. 254 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,275 I'M ALL SET. 255 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:49,476 HOW ABOUT THE FRONT SEAT? 256 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,477 I'M ALL SET. 257 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,478 I'M ALL SET. 258 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:52,980 HOPE I DON'T GET CARSICK. 259 00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:56,216 OPIE, YOU TRADE PLACES WITH GOMER. 260 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,952 I WANT HIM NEAR A WINDOW. 261 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,423 OKAY, HERE WE GO. 262 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,931 YOU MIGHT BE MASHING DOWN TOO HARD 263 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,933 ON YOUR ACCELERATION, FLOODING HER OUT. 264 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,201 I'LL HANDLE THIS, GOMER. 265 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,936 I THINK GOMER'S RIGHT. I SMELL GAS. 266 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,204 DO YOU SMELL GAS? 267 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,338 I SMELL GAS. 268 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,773 I SMELL GAS. I SMELL GAS. 269 00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,174 I SMELL GAS, TOO. 270 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,811 ALL RIGHT, YOU SMELL GAS! 'COURSE YOU SMELL GAS. 271 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,813 WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS CAR RUNS ON, COAL? 272 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,234 All: * HERE A QUACK, THERE A QUACK, EVERYWHERE A QUACK-QUACK * 273 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,269 * OLD MacDONALD HAD A FARM 274 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,304 * EE-I-EE-I-O 275 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,406 * AND ON HIS FARM, HE HAD A... 276 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,908 CHICKEN. CHICKEN. 277 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,944 * EE-I-EE-I-O 278 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,312 * WITH A CHICK-CHICK HERE AND A CHICK-CHICK THERE * WAIT A MINUTE. 279 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,814 * HERE A CHICK, THERE A CHICK, EVERYWHERE A CHICK-CHICK * 280 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,049 HOLD IT, EVERYBODY. LISTEN. 281 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,556 JUST BUMPS ON THE ROAD. 282 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,491 WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME. 283 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,226 JUST BUMPS ON THE ROAD. 284 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,062 THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME. 285 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,030 ME TOO. 286 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:24,437 THAT AIN'T NO BUMPS ON THE ROAD. 287 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,573 WONDER WHAT THAT IS. 288 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:37,918 WHATEVER IT WAS, IT FELL OFF AND CAN'T HURT YOU ANYMORE. 289 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:45,959 ANDY? 290 00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,094 MA'AM? 291 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,196 IS THAT THE JOHNSON FARM DOWN THERE? 292 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:50,330 UH-HUH. 293 00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:53,533 I SEE THEY PAINTED THEIR BARN. 294 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,368 I LOVE RED BARNS. 295 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,470 I THINK THE JOHNSONS KEEP THEIR FARM UP 296 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:59,106 BETTER THAN ANYBODY AROUND HERE. 297 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,474 THEIR FARM'S A PICTURE NO ARTIST COULD DRAW. 298 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,344 OH, BY THE WAY, GOMER, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 299 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,414 SICK AS A DOG, BUT HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE. 300 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:10,583 Opie: WOULD YOU TAKE ME OUT TO JOHNSONS' SOMETIME, PA? 301 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,385 Andy: SURE. 302 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,387 MR. JOHNSON MIGHT LET YOU MILK A COW. 303 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,590 [ INDIAN SNAKE-CHARMER BACKGROUND MUSIC PLAYS ] 304 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,901 WOULD YOU TAKE ME OUT TO JOHNSONS' SOMETIME, BAA... RNEY! 305 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,141 LOOKS LIKE TO ME 306 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:37,477 YOU GOT TOO MUCH GREASE IN YOUR STEERING COLUMN. 307 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,079 I DON'T BELIEVE 308 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:42,315 I'VE EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE. 309 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,286 I HEAR A HISSING SOUND, TOO, BARN. 310 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,420 LISTEN. 311 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,174 BOY, SHE'S BOILING BUT GOOD. 312 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,412 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET SOME WATER, BARN. 313 00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,447 THEN WE'D BETTER HEAD BACK. 314 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,284 BACK, YEAH. HEAD BACK. 315 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,451 I'LL FETCH IT. 316 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:21,054 EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. JUST FINE. 317 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,422 FINE, JUST FINE. 318 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,264 IT JUST RUN OUT OF WATER, BARN. 319 00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,732 A LITTLE EXTRA GREASE... 320 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,467 THAT DON'T MEAN ANYTHING. 321 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:43,310 [ RHYTHMIC CLANKING, WHISTLING, GRATING AND THUDDING ] 322 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,111 I'M SORRY, BARN. 323 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,612 IT'S A SHAME. 324 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,049 Gomer: HEY, ANDY! HEY, BARN! 325 00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,150 Andy: HEY, GOMER. 326 00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:24,684 DID WALLY CHECK THE CAR OVER? 327 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,186 HE WENT THROUGH HER 328 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,255 WITH AS FINE A TOOTH COMB AS YOU CAN IMAGINE. 329 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,689 ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE THE BAD NEWS. 330 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,291 WELL, HE GOT HER RUNNING. 331 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,759 I BROUGHT HER OVER HERE WITH ME. 332 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:34,427 BUT SHE'S GOING TO NEED... 333 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:37,597 PLUGS, POINTS, BEARINGS, VALVES, RINGS, STARTER SWITCH, 334 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,333 IGNITION WIRES, WATER PUMP, FUEL PUMP, OIL PUMP, 335 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,768 CLUTCH, CLUTCH BEARINGS, 336 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,671 CLUTCH PLATES, BRAKE LINING, BRAKE SHOES, BRAKE DRUMS, 337 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:48,141 RADIATOR HOSE, AND RADIATOR HOSE COUPLING. 338 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,309 OH, NO. 339 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,677 AND I'D GIVE HER A GOOD WASH, TOO. 340 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,413 UH, GOMER... 341 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,581 OH, HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE. 342 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,384 SEE THAT? SAWDUST. 343 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,552 COME OUT OF YOUR DIFFERENTIAL AND TRANSMISSION. 344 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:00,687 THAT DOES IT. 345 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,422 HUH? 346 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,725 SAWDUST. THAT'S THE OLDEST CAR HUSTLER'S TRICK IN THE WORLD. 347 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:09,462 MAKES WORN-OUT GEARS RUN SMOOTH AS SILK... 348 00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,364 FOR A FEW DAYS. 349 00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,600 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 350 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,502 THAT'S ALL THE EVIDENCE WE'LL NEED. 351 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,703 COME ON, BARN. 352 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:18,438 LET'S TAKE THAT CAR RIGHT BACK 353 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,607 TO THE LITTLE OLD LADY IN MT. PILOT. 354 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:01,581 I THINK SHE'S ABOUT HAD IT, BARN. 355 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,650 I BETTER GO FIND A PHONE AND CALL GOMER 356 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,619 AND TELL HIM TO COME OUT HERE AND TOW US IN. 357 00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:09,656 THERE'S A STORE BACK THERE ABOUT A HALF A MILE. 358 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:13,560 YOU BE ALL RIGHT? 359 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,462 IT'LL BE GETTING DARK PRETTY SOON. 360 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,730 I SURE HOPE HE CAN FIND US. 361 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:09,249 ANGE? 362 00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:10,583 HMM? 363 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:13,453 WE'RE MOVING. 364 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,587 HMM? 365 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:16,589 WE'RE MOVING. 366 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:17,957 HMM. 367 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:21,428 HMM, I'LL BE DOGGED. 368 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:24,631 GOMER MUST HAVE FOUND US. 369 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,700 I DIDN'T EVEN HEAR HIM HOOK US UP. 370 00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:34,274 HMM. WAIT A MINUTE. 371 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,976 THAT AIN'T GOMER'S TOW TRUCK PULLING US. 372 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,878 HUH? 373 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,314 THAT'S SOMEBODY ELSE. 374 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,650 WELL, WHO IN THE WORLD... 375 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,618 HEY, YOU UP THERE! HOLD IT! 376 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,320 HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. 377 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,555 SCRUNCH DOWN. 378 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:50,590 LET'S SEE WHERE THEY'RE TAKING US. 379 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,226 SCRUNCH DOWN. 380 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,791 WE STOPPED. 381 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,981 CAN I PUT MY BULLET IN? 382 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,850 I THINK YOU BETTER. 383 00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,885 GET DOWN. 384 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,033 OKAY. 385 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,747 THAT'S MRS. LESCH! 386 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:56,015 YEAH. 387 00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:05,692 IT'S THE FOURTH ONE THIS WEEK, MYRT. 388 00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:07,560 THE BOYS ARE DOING A PRETTY GOOD JOB. 389 00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:09,862 WELL, LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GEM YOU BROUGHT IN. 390 00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:12,098 YEAH, WE'LL RUN IT THROUGH THE USUAL ROUTINE. 391 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:14,133 SPRAY IT UP A LITTLE. KNOCK OUT SOME OF THE DENTS. 392 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:18,571 HIT THE CHROME... OOH! WHAT'S WITH YOU? 393 00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:20,039 DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE IT?! 394 00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,942 THAT'S THE CLUNKER I SOLD TO THAT BOOB IN MAYBERRY. 395 00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:25,077 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ALL! 396 00:22:25,111 --> 00:22:26,413 YOU'VE HAD IT! 397 00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:27,547 HOWDY. 398 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:28,848 MR. FIFE! 399 00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:30,650 YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE FOOLING ANYBODY, 400 00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:32,084 DID YOU, MRS. LESCH? 401 00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:35,388 DEAR HUSBAND BERNARD. NEVER OVER 25 MILES AN HOUR. 402 00:22:35,422 --> 00:22:37,023 COME ON NOW, REALLY! 403 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:42,529 ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT US. 404 00:22:42,562 --> 00:22:43,996 LET ME MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU. 405 00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,665 YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED, 406 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,436 AND I'LL LET YOU HAVE A SWEET 1958 CUSTOM SEDAN 407 00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:52,872 THAT'S BEEN IN THE GARAGE UP ON BLOCKS SINCE 1959. 408 00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:53,940 LOW MILEAGE? 409 00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:54,941 BROKEN IN. 410 00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:56,543 WITH WHITEWALL TIRES. 411 00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:57,877 THAT SOUNDS LIKE WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR! 412 00:22:57,910 --> 00:22:58,911 BARN! 413 00:22:58,945 --> 00:23:00,980 ALL RIGHT! LINE UP! 414 00:23:10,923 --> 00:23:13,426 HI, BARN. WHAT YOU DOING? 415 00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:14,894 WELL, NOW THAT I GOT MY MONEY BACK, 416 00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,563 I'M GONNA BE A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL. 417 00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,965 YOU DIDN'T ANSWER ANOTHER CAR AD. 418 00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:21,734 PARTY'S ON ITS WAY OVER, BUT DON'T YOU WORRY, PAL. 419 00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,070 I LEARNED MY LESSON -- TRUST NOBODY. 420 00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,838 YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THAT FAR. 421 00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:28,775 I'M GONNA GO OVER THIS CAR WITH A FINE-TOOTH COMB. 422 00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:31,611 YOU CAN FOOL BARNEY FIFE ONCE, MAYBE -- JUST ONCE, 423 00:23:31,644 --> 00:23:32,612 BUT NEVER AGAIN. 424 00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:33,613 WELL... 425 00:23:39,051 --> 00:23:42,655 EXCUSE ME. I'M LOOKING FOR MR. FIFE. 426 00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:43,756 I'M MR. FIFE. 427 00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:45,758 I'M MRS. TEMPLE. 428 00:23:45,792 --> 00:23:47,794 I'M HERE WITH MY CAR, MR. FIFE. 429 00:23:47,827 --> 00:23:49,596 ARE YOU STILL INTERESTED? 430 00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:55,101 WELL, MAYBE I AM, AND MAYBE I AIN'T. 431 00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:56,703 WHAT KIND OF A CAR IS IT? 432 00:23:56,736 --> 00:24:01,508 1959 FORD -- IT'S IN EXCELLENT CONDITION. 433 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:03,009 LOW MILEAGE, OF COURSE. 434 00:24:03,042 --> 00:24:04,243 OH, YES. 435 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:06,112 UH-HUH. 436 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:08,748 AND YOU ONLY USED IT TO DRIVE TO CHURCH ON SUNDAYS, RIGHT? 437 00:24:08,781 --> 00:24:12,585 WHY, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DID. 438 00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:15,688 SEE, I HAVE A NEPHEW WHO'S A CLERGYMAN AT -- 439 00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:17,524 WHO ARE YOU KIDDING, SISTER? 440 00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:20,226 I BEG YOUR PARDON? 441 00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:22,094 BARN. WHO YOU WORKING WITH -- 442 00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:23,663 HUBCAP SLASH OR YOU GOT YOUR OWN RACKET? 443 00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:25,097 BARNEY. 444 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:26,833 OH, I CAN SEE THROUGH HER LIKE A LACE CURTAIN. 445 00:24:26,866 --> 00:24:29,769 ALL RIGHT, OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT, BEFORE I THROW YOU IN. 446 00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:32,238 WELL, HAVE YOU FOUND A BUYER FOR THE CAR, AUNT ROSE? 447 00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,574 Andy: UH. 448 00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,142 HE'D LIKE TO THINK ABOUT IT, REVEREND. 449 00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:37,176 WOULDN'T YOU, BARN?