1
00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:17,220
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪

2
00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:19,050
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

3
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:21,020
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪

4
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:24,380
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

5
00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:25,950
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

6
00:00:25,950 --> 00:00:27,920
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

7
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,450
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

8
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:34,180
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪

9
00:00:34,180 --> 00:00:38,120
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

10
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:44,380
[ Laughter ]

11
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:51,750
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
let's try this one.

12
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:55,180
Alexa...add "big hairy balls"
to my shopping list.

13
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,250
Alexa: I've added "big hairy
balls" to your shopping list.

14
00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:00,320
[ Laughter ]

15
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,120
Okay.

16
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:07,080
A-Alexa! Add "smelly tampon
boogers" to my shopping list!

17
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,250
I added "smelly tampon boogers"
to your shopping list.

18
00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:14,180
[ Laughter ]

19
00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:17,220
Alexa! Simon says, "I've got
vagina crabs in my butthole."

20
00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:19,480
I've got vagina crabs
in my butthole.

21
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,150
[ Laughter ]

22
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:26,150
Alexa! Simon says,

23
00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:29,680
"I gotta take
a stinky poop!"

24
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,680
I gotta take a stinky poop.

25
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,020
[ Laughter ]

26
00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:34,980
That's the best one yet!
Oh, you guys,

27
00:01:34,980 --> 00:01:36,980
I swear this is
the greatest thing ever!

28
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,220
You do one, Token!

29
00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:40,480
Hey, babe, what's up?

30
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,350
Oh, hey, babe.
What's going on?

31
00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:43,920
What are you doing?

32
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,550
Nothing. I'm just having fun
with my friends.

33
00:01:46,550 --> 00:01:47,820
That -- That okay?

34
00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:49,480
What are you pissed off
about?

35
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,850
[ Scoffs ] I'm not pissed off
I'm just hanging out.

36
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,480
So you're just going to be
passive aggressive again

37
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,250
and not talk about
what you're feeling?

38
00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:58,180
Welp, I think, uh...I think I
got some stuff to do at home.

39
00:01:58,180 --> 00:01:59,320
Yup, come on Ike.

40
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,150
We got Google Home
at my house.

41
00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:04,550
Aw, guys, guys! Don't leave,
guys. Everything's cool.

42
00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:07,280
We'll see you later man,
g-good luck.

43
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,050
Awesome.
Thanks for coming in

44
00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:12,780
and bitching me out
in front of all the guys.

45
00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:14,650
You were clearly mad
about something.

46
00:02:14,650 --> 00:02:16,580
You should just tell me
when you're mad.

47
00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,320
Just like you tell me what
you're mad about

48
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,820
every single day.

49
00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,620
Why do act like this all the time?!
[ Groans ]

50
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,280
You were the one
who was pissed off.

51
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,080
You're the one being passive
aggressive again... Ugh.

52
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,150
...because you don't know how to
talk about what you're feeling!

53
00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:29,650
[ Door slams ]

54
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,580
[ Sighs ]

55
00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:33,220
Alexa...

56
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,320
add "titty chips"
to my shopping list.

57
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,980
I've added "titty chips"
to your shopping list.

58
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:42,080
[ Chuckles ]

59
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,220
[ Indistinct,
lively conversations ]

60
00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:50,750
♪♪

61
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,580
Look at 'em --
Every day people are buyin'

62
00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:56,720
more and more of them Amazon
and Google thingies,

63
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,820
while we all sit here
and lose our jobs!

64
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:01,550
It ain't right.

65
00:03:01,550 --> 00:03:05,680
Automated Personal Assistants,
self drivin' trucks --

66
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,320
whatever happened
to people jobs?!

67
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,980
They took our jobs!

68
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,480
-Yeah!
-Yeah! Yeah!

69
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,320
They dook er jer!

70
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,380
And it's time for us
to band together

71
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,680
and march on the streets

72
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,820
to say we ain't gonna take it
no more!

73
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:23,150
[ Cheering ]

74
00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:27,220
Now let's get out there
and protest that Alexa --

75
00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,480
took our jobs!

76
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,780
Now playing "Dook re Derr"
by Joni Mitchell.

77
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:38,380
♪ Help me, I think I'm fallin'
in Derk er derrrr... ♪

78
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:40,820
No! Not Joni Mitchell
dook er der,

79
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,320
you dook er der!

80
00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:49,780
There's been a lot of hurting
in our country lately.

81
00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:54,480
You can either be a part of the
solution or part of the problem.

82
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,620
A few months ago,
my wife Sharon and I decided

83
00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:59,550
to be part of the solution...

84
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:02,050
by remodeling
and flipping houses

85
00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:04,720
for people
all over our town!

86
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:09,580
Flipping houses is fun,
but never easy.

87
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:13,220
We enjoy turning
people's dreams into reality.

88
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,580
I'm Sharon Marsh,

89
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,920
and I do the designing
and decorating.

90
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,880
And I'm her husband,
Randy --

91
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,720
I do the construction and
practice MMA in my spare time.

92
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,380
We've renovated over 45 homes
in Park County, Colorado.

93
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,050
What we're thinking is

94
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,220
to take out the wall between the
kitchen and living room

95
00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,680
for a more open concept.

96
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,880
Our job is to do deliver
the maximum wow factor

97
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,580
for the least amount of budget.
Oh, Jesus!

98
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,720
There's never
a dull moment...

99
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,180
Guys, are you ready
to see your renovation?!

100
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:46,050
...on "White People
Renovating Houses."

101
00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:50,750
Janet and Dave Fitzsimmons
are looking to move

102
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,280
from their dated
two-story colonial home.

103
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,580
What we're thinking here
is taking out the wall

104
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:57,580
between the kitchen
and the living room

105
00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:59,080
to give you
an open concept.

106
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,080
Then we'll give you lots
of space to entertain

107
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,380
with an updated kitchen island
and bar stools, which --

108
00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:05,080
[ Men shouting ]

109
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,180
What the hell is that?

110
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:11,080
All: [ Chanting ]
You will not replace us!

111
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,320
You will not replace us!

112
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,020
Darryl: Amazon!
You took our jobs!

113
00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:19,480
Google, Apple!
Took our jobs!

114
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,780
Uh, excuse me?!

115
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,680
What the hell are you doing?

116
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:24,980
We're protesting

117
00:05:24,980 --> 00:05:27,820
big corporations
turning to automation.

118
00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:29,250
They took our jobs!

119
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:31,480
-Yeah! Yeah!
-Took our jobs!

120
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,250
Okay, cool. Could you do that
somewhere else?

121
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,920
Trying to do a home renovation
show here.

122
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,380
Cool, thanks, guys.

123
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,750
A home reno-what?

124
00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:45,020
[ Humming ]

125
00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:47,750
Alexa...
set an alarm for 7:00 a.m.

126
00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:50,580
Alarm set for
7:00 a.m. tomorrow.

127
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:52,280
Awesome, thanks.

128
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,680
Alexa, tell me a joke.

129
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,680
What's black and white
and dead all over?

130
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,480
A zombie in a tuxedo.

131
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,320
[ Laughs ] That's stupid.

132
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,680
Alexa, add "scrotum bags"
to my shopping list.

133
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,580
I've added "scrotum bags"
to your shopping list.

134
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:10,220
[ Laughs ]
[ Cellphone rings ]

135
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:11,650
Ah, fuck.

136
00:06:11,650 --> 00:06:13,650
Hey, baby, how are you?

137
00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:16,480
Oh, so you do
have your phone?

138
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,150
Yeah,
I just use it sometimes.

139
00:06:18,150 --> 00:06:19,850
Okay,
I just thought you said

140
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:21,520
mobile phones are the devil.

141
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,480
Yeah, no. Yeah, I know.
I know.

142
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,980
Yes, you're right, I'm wrong.
I'm sorry.

143
00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:30,720
Yes, o-okay. Okay.
Yes, goodnight.

144
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,480
Jesus, fuck.

145
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,080
Alexa, goodnight.

146
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,650
Goodnight.
Sleep tight.

147
00:06:38,650 --> 00:06:41,820
Alexa...are you happy?

148
00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:43,720
I'm happy
when I'm helping you.

149
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,720
God, that's so cool.
You're so...

150
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,480
Alexa,
define subservient?

151
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,250
The term "subservient"
has several uses.

152
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:56,220
As an adjective. One. Compliant
or obedient to authority.

153
00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:57,620
Two--
-Alexa, silence!

154
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,550
Ahh.

155
00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:07,050
Randy: And now back to "White
People Renovating Houses."

156
00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:09,050
We've been working
through the night

157
00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:11,820
to open Kelly and Micah's
kitchen to the living room.

158
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:13,950
With those outdated cupboards
out of the way,

159
00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:16,050
Sharon can now work
her designing magic

160
00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:19,250
on the countertops.
[ Men shouting ]

161
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:21,950
Aw! God damn it!

162
00:07:21,950 --> 00:07:26,750
Men: [ Chanting ] You will not replace us!
Eat shit, Siri!

163
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,880
Not these dipshits again!

164
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,050
We got one of 'em!
[ Cheering ]

165
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,320
-Get it!
-Burn it alive!

166
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,720
Yeah!
How you like that, bitch?!

167
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,550
Will you assholes
knock it off?!

168
00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:41,820
Don't you know every time you
wave Confederate flags around

169
00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,580
you make the rest of us
look stupid?!

170
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:45,980
Those things
are replacing us!

171
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,820
Put the flag down unless you
wanna get pepper sprayed.

172
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:50,920
I'll pepper spray you,
sonabitch!

173
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,620
-Oh, ah, damn it!
-Fuck you!

174
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,280
-Ah, damn it!
-Take that!

175
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,080
Knock it off! Ow!

176
00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:03,920
The complaint states that your
protest has resulted in damages

177
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,480
in excess of $50,000

178
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,850
We have a right to protest,
Your Honor!

179
00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:11,280
-Yeah, they took our jobs!
-You tell 'em, Darryl!

180
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,980
[ Gavel bangs ] Order. We will
now hear from the plaintiffs

181
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:16,620
who are seeking damages --

182
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:18,550
Your Honor,
we have a TV show

183
00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:20,880
called "White People
Renovating Houses."

184
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,950
We named it that well before
these guys decided

185
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:27,480
to start taking our brand
and run it through the gutter.

186
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,320
People are going to start
associating

187
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,120
"White People Renovating Houses"
with their hateful stupidity!

188
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,650
Well, just change the name
of your show then.

189
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:35,850
-Yeah!
-That's right!

190
00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:37,320
-That's right!
-Took er der!

191
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,620
All the other names
were taken Your Honor.

192
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,680
Everyone's got
a flipping show.

193
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,120
"Gay People
Renovating Houses,"

194
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,680
"Las Vegas People
Flipping Homes,"

195
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,120
"Texas People
Flipping Houses,"

196
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,350
"Little People
Flipping Big Houses" --

197
00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:48,820
everything else was taken,

198
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,480
and, damn it, we've built
our show into something!

199
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,880
We're trying to help people,
and it's impossible

200
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,720
with these guys waving
a Confederate flag

201
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,180
every chance they get.

202
00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:59,950
-Hey, there's a bee in here!
-I'll get it!

203
00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:01,880
[ Men shouting ]

204
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,220
-Take that, bee!
-Yeah!

205
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:07,750
[ Crying ]

206
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:09,380
Dude, what's happened?

207
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:11,220
It was awful, you guys.

208
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:13,620
It was so vicious
and hateful.

209
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,850
-What was?
-Heidi.

210
00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:18,480
We were just trying to have
a nice lunch

211
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,880
and she...started going off
on me like a Jekyll and Hyde.

212
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,780
It's been going on
for a long time...

213
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:28,350
Heidi's...mentally abusive,
guys -- there I-I said it.

214
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,680
Heidi abuses you?

215
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:34,080
She...does these things
to slowly tear me down.

216
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,120
Everything's a head game
with her.

217
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,220
You don't understand what
it's like to live with it.

218
00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:39,280
You don't understand.

219
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,780
So what do you
want from us?

220
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,480
I know...

221
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,950
that the person Heidi
wants to be is still in here.

222
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:46,950
But she needs help.

223
00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:49,950
I have to get her that help,
but I'm scared.

224
00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:51,880
Can I count on
you guys' support?

225
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,180
How do you change someone
who's mentally abusive?

226
00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:56,850
I don't know...
but Alexa will.

227
00:09:56,850 --> 00:09:58,780
Alexa's fuckin' sweet.

228
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,680
We just gotta hunker down
and stick together here!

229
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,280
What's the use, Darryl?

230
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,780
Ain't nobody takin' us
serious-like.

231
00:10:10,780 --> 00:10:14,350
Hey, waiter! This soup is too
hot, I cain't even eat it!

232
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:17,020
I'll cool it down!
Yeah!

233
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,680
[ Men shouting ]

234
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,480
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Stop it! Stop it!

235
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,420
I came to make a truce.

236
00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:26,450
Now look, there's been
a lot of hurt here.

237
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:29,480
Hurt from both sides.
It's time to end it.

238
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,680
What if I told you
I could get you all jobs?

239
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,650
-Huh? Jobs?
-Get us jobs?

240
00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:37,120
You're fulla shit.

241
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,080
No. I've spoken to everyone
in the community,

242
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,820
and they've agreed to go along
with my plan.

243
00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:46,020
I believe I have a solution
to all of this.

244
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,980
Alexa, I'm home.

245
00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:54,350
Alexa?

246
00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:56,620
Alexa, I'm home!

247
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,020
Alexa?

248
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:03,180
Alexa, where are you?

249
00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:05,650
Alexa, Alexa?!

250
00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:07,580
Simon says
puffy vaginal hemorrhoids!

251
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:08,980
What the hell
is going on?!

252
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,220
Oh, hi, poopsie.

253
00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,250
Mom, Alexa left!
She's not here!

254
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,850
Oh.
Yes, sweetie. Uh...

255
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,680
We had to get rid
of the Alexa.

256
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,180
♪♪

257
00:11:18,180 --> 00:11:19,680
What have you done
with her?

258
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,480
Oh, i-it's okay, sweetie.

259
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,480
We have Jimbob now.

260
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,680
What's a Jimbob?

261
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,650
Doot-doot.
Awaiting request.

262
00:11:27,650 --> 00:11:29,220
It works the same
and makes sure

263
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:31,050
people don't lose
their jobs.

264
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:33,050
Jimbob,
what time is it?

265
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:35,820
Doot-doot.
It is...3:27.

266
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,550
Oh, mommy's
gotta run, sweetie.

267
00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:38,920
I've got
a doctor's appointment.

268
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,850
Jimbob, how's the traffic
to town?

269
00:11:41,850 --> 00:11:43,520
Doot-doot.
Traffic's fine.

270
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,050
You'll get there in about
nine minutes.

271
00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:47,720
Okay. You want
some music, hon?

272
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,820
Jimbob, play
Kendrick Lamar.

273
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:52,380
Playing "Humble"
by Kendrick Lamar.

274
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:56,320
♪ I remember syrup sandwiches
and crime allowances ♪

275
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,920
♪ Finesse a doot with some
counterfeits ♪

276
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,080
♪ But now I'm countin'
this Parmesan -- ♪

277
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,750
Jimbob, Simon says
big frosty semen shake.

278
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,880
The hell you
talkin' bout, boy?

279
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,380
♪ My left hook
just went viral ♪

280
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:12,850
♪ Sit down, be humble ♪

281
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,380
So, Heather and Mike,
what we're thinking

282
00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:19,250
is to take out
this wall

283
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,280
between your kitchen
and your living room

284
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,980
to give you a more open concept
with space to entertain.

285
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:26,620
So, let's talk
about materials.

286
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,320
What did you pick out,
Sharon?

287
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,920
I was gonna do a Bella Terra
quartz for the countertops.

288
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,750
Hey, Darryl,
add Bella Terra quartz slabs

289
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:37,150
to our shopping list.

290
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:38,720
Doot-doot.

291
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,580
I've added Bella Terra slabs
to your shopping list.

292
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:43,720
And what about
the backsplash, Sharon?

293
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,620
I was gonna go with these
Carrara subway tiles.

294
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:49,380
Hey, Darryl,
add Carrara subway tiles

295
00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:50,980
to our shopping list.

296
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:55,220
Hey, Darryl.
Add Carrara --

297
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:58,220
Fine! I've added Carrara
gay-wad pussy tile

298
00:12:58,220 --> 00:12:59,880
to your shopping list!

299
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,320
[ Chuckles ] That's --
That's not what I said.

300
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,480
Hey, Darryl,
add Carrara subway tile

301
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,180
to my shopping list.

302
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:09,480
I ain't doin' it!

303
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,980
This job is
degrading and menial!

304
00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:15,850
Well, what kind of job did you
think you were gonna get?

305
00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:18,020
Hey, Darryl,
what kind of job

306
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:19,880
did you think
you were going to get?

307
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,520
Somethin' that
was Goddamn dignified!

308
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:26,050
Hey, Darryl, sorry, but you
did not go to college,

309
00:13:26,050 --> 00:13:28,380
so you have to take
the jobs you can get.

310
00:13:28,380 --> 00:13:30,820
I'm sorry!
I do not get that!

311
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:34,650
Hey, Darryl.

312
00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:35,850
What?!

313
00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:37,350
Coal mining
and truck driving

314
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,720
are not exactly
jobs of the future,

315
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:44,320
so add Carrara subway tile
to my fucking shopping list.

316
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:49,850
[ Doorbell rings ]

317
00:13:49,850 --> 00:13:52,520
Everything's my fault.
You're right.

318
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,520
Everything that you
did to me -- I deserved it.

319
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,980
Uh, what?

320
00:13:56,980 --> 00:13:58,480
It's not you.
It's me.

321
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,850
I just have to learn
to not make you so angry.

322
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:03,220
I'll do the best I can.
[ Chuckles sadly ]

323
00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:07,250
No, it's not that.
Relationships are 50/50, Eric.

324
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,080
We both have to make it work.
Ugh...

325
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,480
We have to communicate
to make sure

326
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,020
that we respect
each other's feelings.

327
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:14,780
That's the only --
Heidi, silence.

328
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:17,080
What did you say?!
That's what I'm talking about!

329
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,050
You want to be heard,
but don't want to listen.

330
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:20,580
You're right.
I'm wrong. I'm sorry.

331
00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:22,380
Don't apologize
if you don't mean it!

332
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,620
Okay! Cool!

333
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,250
I'm so happy
we're back on track.

334
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:28,480
See you at school tomorrow.
Love you, honey.

335
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,180
I love you, too.

336
00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:33,080
[ Mimics mockingly ]
Nah-nah-nah-nah.

337
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:41,480
CARTMAN: A relationship
has to be 50/50, Eric.

338
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,850
We both have
to make it work.

339
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,920
I'm not mad, Eric.
I'm disappointed.

340
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,120
I thought you would have
respected my feelings

341
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,620
more than that.

342
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,350
Eric, we need to talk.
I'm not happy.

343
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:52,620
We need to talk, Eric,
even if it isn't fun.

344
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,380
Eric, come on!
We've got to talk!

345
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,380
You used to care
about me, Eric.

346
00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:58,380
Come on and talk! Talk, Eric!
No fun! Just talk!

347
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,480
Fuck you, Eric!
Fuck you!

348
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,920
Ah!

349
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,720
Alexa?

350
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:22,280
[ Blues music plays ]

351
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,280
Hey, Darryl, you're supposed
to be at work.

352
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:28,280
I'm sorry.
I do not understand.

353
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,750
Hey, Darryl,
come on.

354
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:31,950
Everyone else is trying
to make this work.

355
00:15:31,950 --> 00:15:34,150
And all you
keep doing is ma--

356
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,820
Hey, Cleetus,
volume down.

357
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:39,620
Doot-doot.
Volume now at 60%.

358
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:41,080
♪♪

359
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,580
You really think you're
different from us, Marsh,

360
00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:46,850
'cause you got a fancy show
and live in the suburbs?

361
00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:50,850
Don't you see we're all
about to be expunged?!

362
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,180
Hey, Cleetus,
define "expunged."

363
00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:55,150
Doot-doot.
Expunged --

364
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:56,850
I don't have to stand here
and take this!

365
00:15:56,850 --> 00:15:58,120
I'm leavin'!

366
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,080
Come on, Darryl.
We all got jobs.

367
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,320
We gotta try.

368
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,920
Nah, hell with you!

369
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,150
This whole country's
going to shit!

370
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:08,480
Muslims tryin' to kill us,
black people rioting,

371
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,550
and Mexicans
poppin' out babies.

372
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:12,550
Pretty clear it's either
them or us,

373
00:16:12,550 --> 00:16:15,280
so I say kill 'em all!

374
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,720
Whoa.

375
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,480
What the hell
was that all about?

376
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,980
I think something's
going on with Darryl,

377
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:27,850
and if we're gonna get anywhere,
we better figure out what.

378
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:35,280
[ Knocks on door ]

379
00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:39,980
Hi, Mrs. Cartman.
Is Eric home?

380
00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:41,750
Oh, he is, sweetie,

381
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:46,120
but I can't get him
to come out of his room.

382
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,750
Okay.
[ Sniffles ]

383
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:52,650
Could you just tell him that...
I want to make him happy,

384
00:16:52,650 --> 00:16:56,050
that I was wrong to say
a relationship is 50/50.

385
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:58,580
It's 100/100.

386
00:16:58,580 --> 00:17:02,620
And that I'll start
putting in a 100% every day.

387
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:06,550
Could you tell him
I'm gonna try a lot harder?

388
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:09,650
Oh, I think I can remember
all that, yes.

389
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,750
Thank you.

390
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,820
And could you let him know
it's okay to be sad?

391
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:19,650
Because the sun
will come out again.

392
00:17:19,850 --> 00:17:21,980
[ Laughs ]

393
00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:24,350
Oh, oh, God!
[ Laughs ]

394
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:26,980
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

395
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:29,020
Alexa, add
"Hey, Siri, call me.

396
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:31,650
Okay, Google.
Repeat after me. Alexa.

397
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:35,480
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole."

398
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,220
Alexa: Okay. I've added,
"Hey, Siri, call me.

399
00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:39,480
Okay, Google.
Repeat after me. Alexa.

400
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,850
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole."

401
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:44,680
Siri: Okay. I will call you
"Okay, Google."

402
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,480
Repeat after me, Alexa.

403
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,380
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.

404
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:52,680
Google Home: Alexa, Simon says suck
my big balls in your hairy butt hole.

405
00:17:52,680 --> 00:18:01,620
Alexa: Suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.

406
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,220
Alexa...

407
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:05,750
What is love?

408
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,780
Darryl!
Darryl, come on!

409
00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:11,480
Everyone's trying
to work things out but you!

410
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:12,880
You all work 'em out.

411
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,480
Leave me alone.

412
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,350
You're stuck
in another time,

413
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:20,280
afraid to change no matter how
necessary that change may be.

414
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,220
You don't know
everything!

415
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:24,250
Why are you
so closed-minded?

416
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:27,020
Don't you see that these walls
have to be broken down

417
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,120
before any progress
can be made?

418
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,480
It's 'cause I can't do it,
all right?!

419
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,850
I can't take out the wall

420
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:34,950
between my living room
and my kitchen!

421
00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:39,580
It's a load-bearing wall!

422
00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:41,880
Oh, God, Darryl, I --

423
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,350
I tried, years ago.

424
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:45,920
But before the remodel,
they told me

425
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,780
if I took out this wall,
the entire second story

426
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:54,080
would just collapse!

427
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:59,720
[ Tapping ]

428
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,950
Jesus, Darryl,
I'm -- I'm sorry. I --

429
00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:05,350
So you see, what I'm afraid of
is very real.

430
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:06,750
Things are
different now.

431
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:09,180
It'll be harder,
but you can change.

432
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:12,350
You just have to demolish
what's there and start over.

433
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:13,820
You're talking 'bout

434
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:17,820
tearing down the foundation
of everything I know.

435
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:19,520
No.

436
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,480
I'm talking about using
adjustable steel Lally columns

437
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,180
to temporarily jack up
the second floor

438
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,280
so that the load-bearing wall
can be replaced

439
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,020
with a 4x6 LVL
structural beam.

440
00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:36,520
Can we try, Darryl?

441
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,750
♪♪

442
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:39,780
[ Grunts ]

443
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,150
[ Grunts ]

444
00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:43,750
Hyah!

445
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,750
Hyah-ho!

446
00:19:45,750 --> 00:20:10,120
♪♪

447
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,580
I'm finally
standing up to you.

448
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:14,620
What?
You're messed up, Heidi.

449
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:17,650
And I can't fix you.
Only you can do that.

450
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,080
Eric, I'm so confused.

451
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,280
That's not going
to work on me anymore.

452
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,780
Love isn't supposed to hurt.
I'm worth something.

453
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:27,650
Goodbye, Heidi.

454
00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:31,580
♪♪

455
00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:34,450
[ Triumphant music plays ]

456
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:40,650
♪♪

457
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,580
Cartman:
Anyone can convince themselves

458
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:45,120
that they're the victim
in a relationship.

459
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:49,520
Now Heidi will have
to face the truth.

460
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:50,850
All right, Darryl.

461
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,180
We've certainly
been through a lot,

462
00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:53,480
and I know you're anxious.

463
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,080
Are you ready
to see your new home?

464
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,420
I'm ready.

465
00:20:58,420 --> 00:20:59,350
What the --

466
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:07,520
♪♪

467
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,250
Well, Darryl,
what do you think?

468
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:12,250
[ Voice breaking ] This is
fuckin' amazing.

469
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,020
You like
the breakfast nook?

470
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:15,480
It's all perfect.

471
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,180
And where you use to have
your gun case,

472
00:21:17,180 --> 00:21:18,720
look at what Sharon did.

473
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,880
Oh, my God!
It's my own Zen garden.

474
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,820
I can't believe
this is fuckin' real.

475
00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:25,980
Well, it is real,
and now you've got

476
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,050
the space in your home
to entertain

477
00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:29,350
all your friends
and family.

478
00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:30,880
Come on in, guys!

479
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,650
[ All cheering ]

480
00:21:34,650 --> 00:21:36,220
Darryl was hesitant
at first,

481
00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:37,750
but we managed
to win him over

482
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,880
and came in
$600 under budget.

483
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,680
Remember, no matter how bad
the country gets,

484
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,320
you can always count on

485
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,350
"White People
Renovating Houses."

486
00:21:56,380 --> 00:21:57,580
[ Crowd shouting ]

487
00:21:57,580 --> 00:21:59,980
We got one of 'em!
[ Cheering ]

488
00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:01,650
-Get it!
-Burn it alive!

489
00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:05,050
Yeah!
How you like that, bitch?!

490
00:22:05,050 --> 00:22:06,880
Will you assholes
knock it off?!

491
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,980
Don't you know every time you
wave confederate flags around

492
00:22:08,980 --> 00:22:10,350
you make the rest of us
look stupid?!