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[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!
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GOOD MORNING.
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GOOD MORNING.
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>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.
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GOOD MORNING!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: YO, YO, YO,
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YO, YO!
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WHAT UP?!
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IT'S YOUR BOY, UNCLE GRANDPA!
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WELCOME TO MY CRIB ANDMY RIDE!
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MY LIFESTYLE IS CRAZY-FAT
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AWESOME!
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YO, BELLY BAG!
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READY TO HELP ME MAKE ALL THE
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PEOPLE WATCHING AT HOME FEEL
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MAD-JEALOUS ABOUT HOW WE LIVE?
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>> Belly Bag: YEAH, BOY!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: YO, YO,
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ALL RIGHT!
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LET'S GO INSIDE!
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[ LAUGHING ]
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SO, UH, THIS RIGHT HERE IS THE
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LIVIN' ROOM!
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THE LIVIN' ROOM IS WHERE I
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LIVE IT UP!
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YO!
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JUST LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF THAT
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I HAVE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE.
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AM FM DVD VCR TV ENTERTAINMENT
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CENTER.
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GIANT REALISTIC FLYING TIGER.
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>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]
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>> Uncle Grandpa: PIPE WITH A
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LADDER STICKIN' OUT OF IT.
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SIX -- COUNT 'EM, 1, 2, 3 -- SIX
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DIFFERENT KINDS OF MUSTARD!
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FRANKENSTEIN!
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>> RAH!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: ABE LINCOLN
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POSTER SIGNED BY
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GEORGE WASHINGTON.
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BUT YOU ALL AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN'
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UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN MY MOST PRIZED
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POSSESSION -- THIS TOASTER!
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IT MAKES TOAST.
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[ DING! ]
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AW, YEAH!
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SO, UH, THIS IS THE U.G. RV
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COCKPIT.
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ALMOST EVERY FUNCTION OF THE
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U.G. RV IS CONTROLLED RIGHT HERE
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ON THIS DASHBOARD.
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YO! YO YO!
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CHECK OUT ALL THE AWESOME
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FEATURES, YO!
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FRESHWATER FISH FINDER.
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HAM RADIO!
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DICE IN THE MIRROR.
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FESTIVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.
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CARROT JAMMED IN THE IGNITION.
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WITH TECHNOLOGY LIKE THIS, THE
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U.G. RV PRACTICALLY DRIVES
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ITSELF.
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BUT RIGHT NOW, MY BOY
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PIZZA STEVE IS HANDLIN' THE
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WHEEL.
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SO, WHERE WE HEADED, HOMESLICE?
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>> Pizza Steve: ITALY, BRO!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: LEANING TOWER
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OF PIZZA?
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>> Pizza Steve: YOU KNOW IT,
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UNCLE G.!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: WORD UP!
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[ GRUNTING ]
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THIS IS MR. GUS'S ROOM!
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HE DOESN'T WANT US FILMIN' IN
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HERE, BUT I WANT TO SHOW Y'ALL
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SOMETHING.
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Shh!
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THIS IS MR. GUS'S SECRET
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COLLECTION OF PRICELESS GEMMILL
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FIGURINES.
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MR. GUS PAYS TOP DOLLAR FOR
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THESE AT ANTIQUE SHOWS.
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EACH FIGURINE IS
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PAINSTAKINGLY...
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OOPS!
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[ GRUNTING ]
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HANDCRAFTED IN SCANDINAVIA...
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[ GRUNTING ]
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...LIMITED EDITION --
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UNH!
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HOPEFULLY, MR. GUS WON'T NOTICE.
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>> Belly Bag: YEAH, BOY!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: [ WHISTLING ]
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>> Mr. Gus: MORNIN',
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UNCLE GRANDPA.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, UH...
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GOOD MORNIN', MR. GUS.
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>> Mr. Gus: WHAT ARE Y'ALL DOING
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WITH THAT CROWBAR?
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>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, UH,
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NOTHING.
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GOT TO GO!
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RAISE THE ROOF, Y'ALL!
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THIS HERE IS THE U.G. RV
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BATHROOM!
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AND CHECK IT OUT -- I GOT THE
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MAIN ATTRACTION RIGHT HERE --
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THE TOILET!
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THIS IS THE XW-2000 MODEL S.,
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OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE
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WHITE DIAMOND.
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[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
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YOU WISHYOU HAD THIS KIND OF
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WATER PRESSURE!
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>> Belly Bag: UNCLE GRANDPA, WHY
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ARE WE WASTING TIME IN THE
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BATHROOM?!
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THE SHOW'S ALMOST OVER!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: OH!
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WE BETTER SHOW OFF ALL THE OTHER
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ROOMS QUICK, THEN!
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[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
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CAMPFIRE ROOM!
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GAME ROOM!
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MY ROOM!
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CITY ROOM!
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ISLAND ROOM!
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UNDERWATER ROOM!
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IGLOO ROOM!
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>> Narrator: WE NOW RETURN TO
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"HOMEZ," FEATURING OUR SPECIAL
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GUEST, UNCLE GRANDPA!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: DANG.
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I WISH I LIVED LIKE THAT GUY.
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AND DIGGIN' A HOLE...
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[ GRUNTING ]
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EAT YOUR VEGETABLES, KIDS.
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>> Uncle Grandpa: WEIRD MAN!
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WEIRD MAN!
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HE'S THE WEIRDEST MAN!
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WEIRD MAN!
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GUYS, GUYS! LOOK, LOOK!
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THE NEW ISSUE OF "WEIRD MAN"
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IS OUT!
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YOU GUYS WANT TO READ IT
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WITH ME?
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WEIRD MAN! WEIRD MAN!
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THE WEIRDEST WEIRDO WEIRD MAN!
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>> Mr. Gus: NOT RIGHT NOW,
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UNCLE GRANDPA.
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WE'RE WATCHING OUR FAVORITE
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SHOW.
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>> Pizza Steve: YEAH.
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YOU'RE TOTALLY BLOCKING OUR
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VIEW, UNCLE G.!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: OH, UH, I AM?
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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WHOOPZILLA.
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>> Belly Bag: I'LL READ IT WITH
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YOU, UNCLE GRANDPA!
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I LOVE WEIRD MAN!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: REALLY?! OKAY!
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WHOO-HOO!
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>> ANNOUNCER: AND NOW BACK TO
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"AMERICA'S WEIRDEST VIDEOS."
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>> Uncle Grandpa: WEIRD MAN!
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WEIRD MAN!
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WHOO HOO! WEIRD MAN!
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YEAH, YEAH, WEIRD MAN!
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PAGE ONE.
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"WEIRD MAN IS LOOKING FOR
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CRIMINALS."
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OOH! EXCITING!
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>> GOLLY GOOBERS!
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THAT MAN IS BEING ROBBED!
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LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME TO GET
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WEIRD!
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>> PLEASE, SIR, DON'T HURT ME!
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>> JUST HAND OVER YOUR MONEY.
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>> HERE -- 500 BUCKS IS ALL THE
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CASH I HAVE.
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>> WHAT ELSE?!
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>> MY WEDDING RING, MY $7,000
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WATCH, AND SOME SILK POCKET
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LINT.
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>> JACKPOT!
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>> HEY! YOU THERE!
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DO YOU KNOW IT'S A CRIME IN THE
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PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA TO
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OWN A KNIFE WITH A BLADE LENGTH
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OVER 3 INCHES?
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>> BUT THIS IS NEW YORK CITY.
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>> EXACTLY!
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NOW, WHY DON'T YOU BE A GOOD
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LAW-ABIDING CITIZEN AND PUT THE
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KNIFE IN MY HANDS?
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YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME GET
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REALLYWEIRD, DO YOU?
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[ EXHALES ]
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>> OKAY! OKAY!
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JUST STOP BREATHING ON ME.
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IT FEELS REALLY WEIRD!
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>> THERE WE GO!
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HYAH!
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NOW, I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOME
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THINGS THAT BELONG TO THIS MAN.
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GO ON -- RETURN THEM.
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NOW, WHAT DO WE SAY?
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HMM?
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>> I'M -- I'M SORRY?
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>> HOORAY!
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[ LAUGHS ]
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RUN ALONG NOW.
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COME ON.
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GET OUT OF HERE.
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>> I'M OUT OF HERE!
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>> IS EVERYTHING OKAY NOW, SIR?
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>> UH, YES.
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THANK YOU.
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I'LL JUST...BE ON MY WAY.
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WORK ISN'T GONNA FINISH ITSELF.
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AAH! HE'S SO WEIRD!
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>> ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR
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WEIRD MAN!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: "THE END."
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>> Belly Bag: WOW,
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UNCLE GRANDPA!
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THAT WAS AWESOME!
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>> Uncle Grandpa: I KNOW! RIGHT?
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WEE!
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WEE!
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>> Mr. Gus: HUH?
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>> Pizza Steve: SO, THERE I WAS,
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AT THE SEMI-ANNUAL WORLD-FAMOUS
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ITALIAN KARATE TOURNAMENT.
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I MADE MY SIGNATURE SAUCE
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ENTRANCE.
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HYAH!
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HOO! HA! HOO! HA! HOO!
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HYAH!
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OF COURSE, MY FANS WENT WILD.
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THEN MY OPPONENT, SPAGHETTI AND
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MEATBALLS, CAME OUT.
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HE ONLY HAD THREE GRUMPY
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DINOSAURS CHEERING FOR HIM.
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AND SO IT BEGAN.
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I WENT UP FOR A FLYING PEPPERONI
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PUNCH!
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THIS DUDE TRIED TO PUNCH ME?!
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BUT I TOTALLY AVOIDED IT, AND
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BAM! -- KARATE KICK TO THE
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MEATHEAD!
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THAT'S WHEN HOMIE GOT ANGRY!
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HE JUMPED LIKE 40,000 MILES INTO
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THE AIR TO DO SOME CRAZY SMASHER
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PUNCH, BUTI TOTALLY AVOID IT
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WITH MY PIZZA ROLL.
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THIS DUMB-DUMB GOT HIS MEATHAND
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STUCK IN THE GROUND, SO I RAN UP
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HIS SPAGHETTI ARM, PULLED A
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QUADRUPLE TRIPLE MEGA COMBO
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NUMBER 7 WITH A SIDE OF
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SAUCE-OME!
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BABES WENT WILD!
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GRUMPY DINOS WERE HATIN', AS
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USUAL.
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I DID SOME COOL HAND MOVEMENT I
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SAW IN A MOVIE ONCE...
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HOO!
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...AND FOR SOME REASON, HE GOT
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FURIOUS.
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HE WAS ALL TRYING TO RAPID-FIRE
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00:08:27,025 --> 00:08:29,015
PUNCH ME, BUT IT WAS NO MATCH
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00:08:29,019 --> 00:08:31,019
FOR MY NIMBLE PIZZA REFLEXES.
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00:08:31,021 --> 00:08:32,031
THEN HE WAS GONNA TRY TO SWEEP
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KICK ME.
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00:08:33,026 --> 00:08:34,016
HA HA HA!
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00:08:34,026 --> 00:08:36,006
BUT I BLOCKED IT.
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00:08:36,012 --> 00:08:38,002
NOW THAT I HAD HIM TOTALLY OFF
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GUARD, I TRIED THIS COOL MOVE I
285
00:08:39,024 --> 00:08:42,014
LEARNED IN A VIDEO GAME -- SOME
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00:08:42,009 --> 00:08:44,009
COOL BLUE FIRE FIST!
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00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:45,018
AND POW!
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00:08:45,021 --> 00:08:47,011
TOTAL K.O.!
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00:08:47,013 --> 00:08:50,023
BABES WENT WILD, AGAIN.
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00:08:50,021 --> 00:08:54,021
GRUMPSTERS WERE HATIN', AS USE.
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00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:57,010
BUT IT WASN'T OVER.
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00:08:57,008 --> 00:08:59,008
'CAUSE HE TRIED A SNEAK ATTACK!
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00:08:59,009 --> 00:09:01,009
A CRAZY SONIC BOOM!
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00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,010
AND CRASHED INTO THE WALL.
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00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,023
THIS DUDE DID A NUMBER ON ME.
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00:09:08,018 --> 00:09:10,018
AT THIS POINT, I THOUGHT IT WAS
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00:09:10,022 --> 00:09:11,032
PRETTY MUCH OVER.
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00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:13,021
HE WAS ABOUT CRUSH ME WITH HIS
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00:09:13,018 --> 00:09:15,008
MEATBALL FOOT!
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00:09:15,007 --> 00:09:17,007
BUT JUST THEN, I REMEMBERED WHAT
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00:09:17,016 --> 00:09:19,016
MY DOJO MASTER SAID TO ME THREE
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00:09:19,024 --> 00:09:21,014
DAYS AGO.
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00:09:21,013 --> 00:09:23,023
>> REMEMBER, PIZZA STEVEN, IN
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00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:26,010
ORDER TO DEFEAT YOUR OPPONENT,
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00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:29,000
YOU MUST EATYOUR OPPONENT.
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00:09:29,004 --> 00:09:31,004
[ SLURPING ]
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00:09:33,023 --> 00:09:35,013
>> Pizza Steve: OF COURSE!
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00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:37,017
IT MADE PERFECT SENSE.
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00:09:37,018 --> 00:09:39,008
NOW I WAS READY TO TAKE ON
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00:09:39,009 --> 00:09:43,019
MR. FOOD WITH ATTITUDE.
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00:09:43,021 --> 00:09:45,021
I LEAPT UP, GRABBED A STRING OF
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00:09:45,025 --> 00:09:47,025
SPAGHETTI, AND SLURPED UP THAT
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00:09:47,027 --> 00:09:49,007
BAD BOY!
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00:09:49,007 --> 00:09:51,007
[ MONSTER SCREAMING ]
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00:09:55,008 --> 00:09:58,018
PASTA LA VISTA, BABY.
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00:09:58,022 --> 00:10:01,012
HYAH!
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00:10:01,013 --> 00:10:02,023
I FINISHED HIM OFF.
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00:10:02,025 --> 00:10:03,005
[ BURPS ]
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00:10:03,016 --> 00:10:05,016
EVERYONE LOVED ME.
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00:10:05,018 --> 00:10:07,998
AND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
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00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:09,015
>> Mr. Gus: SO YOU DIDN'T JUST
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00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:10,997
EAT MY PLATE OF SPAGHETTI AND
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00:10:11,003 --> 00:10:12,013
MEATBALLS WHILE I WAS IN THE
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00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:12,032
BATHROOM?
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00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:14,001
>> Pizza Steve: NOPE.
326
00:10:14,006 --> 00:10:15,016
I WAS AT AN ITALIAN KARATE
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00:10:15,018 --> 00:10:16,018
TOURNAMENT, BRO.
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00:10:16,017 --> 00:10:17,997
YOU GUYS WERE THERE, TOO.
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00:10:18,004 --> 00:10:19,004
ASK UNCLE G.
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00:10:19,005 --> 00:10:20,015
>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, SET
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00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:21,995
THIS FOOL STRAIGHT.
332
00:10:22,002 --> 00:10:23,022
WERE WE JUST AT AN ITALIAN
333
00:10:23,019 --> 00:10:24,019
KARATE TOURNAMENT?
334
00:10:24,025 --> 00:10:26,005
>> Uncle Grandpa: I DON'T KNOW.
335
00:10:26,014 --> 00:10:27,024
PIZZA STEVE, WERE WE JUST AT AN
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00:10:27,021 --> 00:10:28,021
ITALIAN KARATE TOURNAMENT?
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00:10:28,023 --> 00:10:29,023
>> Pizza Steve: TOTALLY,
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00:10:29,023 --> 00:10:30,013
UNCLE G.
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00:10:30,007 --> 00:10:31,007
>> Uncle Grandpa: I GUESS WE
340
00:10:31,009 --> 00:10:31,019
WERE, MR. GUS.
341
00:10:31,026 --> 00:10:32,016
[ MICROWAVE BELL DINGS ]
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00:10:32,026 --> 00:10:33,016
>> Pizza Steve: SEE?!
343
00:10:33,021 --> 00:10:37,001
I TOLD YOU! AND IT WAS EPIC!
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00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,014
YEAH, WELL, I STILL DON'T
345
00:10:38,016 --> 00:10:39,006
BELIEVE IT.
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00:10:39,009 --> 00:10:40,019
LUCKY FOR YOU, I GOT SOME
347
00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:42,013
LEFTOVER LASAGNA.
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00:10:42,012 --> 00:10:45,022
>> Uncle Grandpa: [ HUMMING ]
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00:10:45,017 --> 00:10:47,017
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
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00:10:47,025 --> 00:10:50,005
AAH!
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00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,996
>> Uncle Grandpa
352
00:10:52,005 --> 00:10:53,025
>> Uncle Grandpa
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00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:54,030
UNH!
354
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,028
OUCH!
355
00:10:57,028 --> 00:10:59,008
>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.
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00:10:59,013 --> 00:11:01,013
>> Belly Bag: GOOD NIGHT.