1 00:00:18,881 --> 00:00:23,403 ♪ Play with me ♪ 2 00:00:23,403 --> 00:00:28,403 ♪ Come play with me ♪ 3 00:00:32,103 --> 00:00:33,600 ♪ Come baby play with me ♪ 4 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,755 ♪ Come on come on take me by the hand ♪ 5 00:00:36,755 --> 00:00:40,662 ♪ You and me can go on some strange erotic land ♪ 6 00:00:40,662 --> 00:00:42,586 ♪ You will see ♪ 7 00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:46,870 ♪ That it's not as bad as it's made out to be ♪ 8 00:00:46,870 --> 00:00:49,256 ♪ Not with me ♪ 9 00:00:49,256 --> 00:00:53,600 ♪ We can go go on to some magic carpet trip ♪ 10 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:58,124 ♪ And I know we're into love and partnership ♪ 11 00:00:58,124 --> 00:00:59,648 ♪ Wait and see ♪ 12 00:00:59,648 --> 00:01:04,648 ♪ What the pleasures of the world can really be with me ♪ 13 00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:09,297 ♪ Come play with me ♪ 14 00:01:09,297 --> 00:01:14,297 ♪ Take me by the hand and stay with me come away with me ♪ 15 00:01:15,013 --> 00:01:19,753 ♪ Play with me ♪ 16 00:01:19,753 --> 00:01:22,147 ♪ Come play with me ♪ 17 00:01:22,147 --> 00:01:25,037 ♪ Got to make you want to stay with me ♪ 18 00:01:25,037 --> 00:01:27,814 ♪ What do you say to me ♪ 19 00:01:27,814 --> 00:01:30,397 ♪ Play with me ♪ 20 00:01:42,042 --> 00:01:43,176 - He doesn't like it. 21 00:01:43,176 --> 00:01:44,938 He doesn't like it at all. 22 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,725 (grumbling) 23 00:01:46,725 --> 00:01:50,764 Have any of you been able to gather any further information? 24 00:01:50,764 --> 00:01:53,088 It just isn't good enough. 25 00:01:53,088 --> 00:01:54,686 The whole party could be in jeopardy 26 00:01:54,686 --> 00:01:57,443 if this fiasco leaks out. 27 00:01:57,443 --> 00:01:59,717 We've got to nip it in the bud! 28 00:01:59,717 --> 00:02:03,094 - As Minister of Finance, I feel the solution should be 29 00:02:03,094 --> 00:02:05,346 to change to another colour. 30 00:02:05,346 --> 00:02:09,812 Change the notes from blue to red or something. 31 00:02:09,812 --> 00:02:12,021 - No, no, no, it just won't do. 32 00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:14,193 How long do you think it would take the organisation 33 00:02:14,193 --> 00:02:16,044 to copy a new issue? 34 00:02:16,044 --> 00:02:18,134 Last month, there were over a million in circulation. 35 00:02:18,134 --> 00:02:20,907 No, no, no, the only solution 36 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:24,618 is to locate and apprehend the forgers. 37 00:02:24,618 --> 00:02:29,310 Well, what suggestions have any of you got to make? 38 00:02:29,310 --> 00:02:30,477 It's calamity! 39 00:02:31,395 --> 00:02:35,694 If something isn't accomplished soon, heads will roll. 40 00:02:35,694 --> 00:02:38,669 - I believe that this is the work of an international gang. 41 00:02:38,669 --> 00:02:41,816 Probably working from the continent. 42 00:02:41,816 --> 00:02:44,864 Sponsored by you know whom. 43 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:45,947 - I disagree. 44 00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:51,116 Take a look at this map. 45 00:02:51,116 --> 00:02:54,098 Over the past four months it appears that the forgeries 46 00:02:54,098 --> 00:02:57,497 have been centralised in limited areas of the country. 47 00:02:57,497 --> 00:02:59,247 Cumberland, Yorkshire 48 00:03:00,093 --> 00:03:03,123 and three weeks ago, Norfolk. 49 00:03:03,123 --> 00:03:07,024 I would say that the organisation is operating 50 00:03:07,024 --> 00:03:11,142 right here in Britain, probably a giant network 51 00:03:11,142 --> 00:03:13,836 with various headquarters throughout the country. 52 00:03:13,836 --> 00:03:15,592 - I go along with that. 53 00:03:15,592 --> 00:03:19,050 And gentlemen, you realise that each operation appears 54 00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:21,924 to edge its way further down the country. 55 00:03:21,924 --> 00:03:24,053 I will guarantee that the next outbreak 56 00:03:24,053 --> 00:03:28,857 will be on the south coast, possibly somewhere in Sussex. 57 00:03:28,857 --> 00:03:31,915 Gentlemen, I see no point in wasting your valuable time. 58 00:03:31,915 --> 00:03:33,846 I suggest you return to your duties. 59 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:37,831 Er, Podsnap, I'd be obliged if you could stay behind 60 00:03:37,831 --> 00:03:40,013 for a few more moments. - Certainly Minister. 61 00:03:40,013 --> 00:03:41,305 - Points I want to pick up. 62 00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:44,055 (men chattering) 63 00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:49,666 - Don't worry Minister, my country will back you up. 64 00:03:51,252 --> 00:03:55,669 - And Miss Dingle, perhaps you should remain as well. 65 00:03:56,838 --> 00:03:59,816 You do realise that the bulk of the responsibility 66 00:03:59,816 --> 00:04:02,491 lies with your department, don't you? 67 00:04:02,491 --> 00:04:06,172 - I do assure you Minister, we really are doing all we can. 68 00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:08,781 I'm sure that we'll come up with something before long. 69 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:10,329 No doubt about it. 70 00:04:10,329 --> 00:04:13,112 I've got some of my best undercover men full out. 71 00:04:13,112 --> 00:04:14,764 - Some of them isn't enough. 72 00:04:14,764 --> 00:04:17,192 You have to get the whole branch out on this. 73 00:04:17,192 --> 00:04:19,767 What about your key man, what do you call him, 74 00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:21,724 008 or something? 75 00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:23,968 - Regretfully, we lost him last month. 76 00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:25,337 - Oh. 77 00:04:25,337 --> 00:04:27,107 - He's dead. 78 00:04:27,107 --> 00:04:28,186 - Oh dear. 79 00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:30,053 How did it happen? 80 00:04:30,053 --> 00:04:31,883 - He caught the flu. 81 00:04:31,883 --> 00:04:34,621 - Oh, well nothing serious then. 82 00:04:34,621 --> 00:04:36,079 Well, who else have you got 83 00:04:36,079 --> 00:04:38,649 and what about your outside contacts? 84 00:04:38,649 --> 00:04:42,658 - I have one of my uh, contacts lined up. 85 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:45,372 I expect to meet with him within the next few days. 86 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,312 I am waiting for confirmation. 87 00:04:47,312 --> 00:04:49,032 You have nothing more to worry about. 88 00:04:49,032 --> 00:04:51,514 - Well please get on with it man! 89 00:04:51,514 --> 00:04:54,561 The situation is more serious than you can imagine. 90 00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:57,124 I expect a report from you during the next two days. 91 00:04:57,124 --> 00:05:00,343 - I understand perfectly, you may rely on me. 92 00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:01,510 - I intend to. 93 00:05:02,918 --> 00:05:05,079 I shan't require you any further, Podsnap. 94 00:05:05,079 --> 00:05:08,579 - Right, thank you, good morning Minister. 95 00:05:16,986 --> 00:05:18,232 (car door clicks) 96 00:05:18,232 --> 00:05:21,149 (steps clattering) 97 00:05:26,466 --> 00:05:29,049 (lock rattles) 98 00:05:32,548 --> 00:05:35,434 - I'm telling you Slash, they're both blowing the gaff. 99 00:05:35,434 --> 00:05:38,068 Yeah, there's not a bloody stick left anywhere! 100 00:05:38,068 --> 00:05:40,850 They've even go a bleedin' lock on the door! 101 00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:44,562 Yeah, everything, the machines, the plates, the optics. 102 00:05:44,562 --> 00:05:45,923 You what? 103 00:05:45,923 --> 00:05:50,256 All right yeah, I'll come straight back to the club. 104 00:05:54,308 --> 00:05:56,891 (groovy music) 105 00:07:26,675 --> 00:07:27,672 (door knocks) 106 00:07:27,672 --> 00:07:30,005 - You're next miss! - Coming! 107 00:07:31,342 --> 00:07:33,753 (playful piano music) 108 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:36,429 - [Man] Go on, come on give us a dance, I love your tempo. 109 00:07:36,429 --> 00:07:37,862 Keep it going, keep it going. 110 00:07:37,862 --> 00:07:39,996 Come on love, now look at the audience. 111 00:07:39,996 --> 00:07:42,213 You're working, you're working to us. 112 00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:44,197 Remember, you got the house full. 113 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,030 Keep it going, lovely. 114 00:07:49,497 --> 00:07:51,414 That's it, now keep it. 115 00:07:54,884 --> 00:07:58,898 That's it, keep it going, smile, now come on. 116 00:07:58,898 --> 00:07:59,897 There's it. 117 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:02,791 That's the way I want it, come on, give it a bit more swing. 118 00:08:02,791 --> 00:08:04,041 Go on, come on. 119 00:08:06,673 --> 00:08:09,186 - Close, brilliant close. 120 00:08:09,186 --> 00:08:12,520 When I found her, she was knocking out burgers and chips 121 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:15,707 at Oxford street, now look at it. 122 00:08:15,707 --> 00:08:18,183 She's a bleedin' star. 123 00:08:18,183 --> 00:08:20,273 - Well, you know how to pick 'em, don't you Slash? 124 00:08:20,273 --> 00:08:23,620 I mean, I mean are a proper little Lou Grey, aren't you? 125 00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,529 - Well, there's nothing to it mate. 126 00:08:25,529 --> 00:08:27,713 I've got the theatrical eye. 127 00:08:27,713 --> 00:08:29,832 Many haven't, but if you got it, you're made. 128 00:08:29,832 --> 00:08:33,165 Now, you listen to me son and you learn. 129 00:08:34,370 --> 00:08:37,287 (woman chattering) 130 00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:43,192 Come on, get your bleedin' asses off of the wood you're on! 131 00:08:46,204 --> 00:08:48,016 - Slash, I got here as soon as I could. 132 00:08:48,016 --> 00:08:49,883 - Okay, hang about mate. 133 00:08:49,883 --> 00:08:53,411 Can't you see there's a marquis working! 134 00:08:53,411 --> 00:08:55,697 - [Man] Come on, keep it going, keep it going. 135 00:08:55,697 --> 00:08:57,620 Where's that other bloody girl, Rose? 136 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,938 She was supposed to be on-- 137 00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:01,578 - Come on, what the bleedin' hell've you got to tell me? 138 00:09:01,578 --> 00:09:03,184 - Right, I told on the line, they've scarpered. 139 00:09:03,184 --> 00:09:04,910 Lock, stock and bleedin' barrel! 140 00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:06,601 - Well, they've got to be found. 141 00:09:06,601 --> 00:09:08,433 We can't let them two bleedin' gits 142 00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:09,534 running around willy nilly. 143 00:09:09,534 --> 00:09:11,486 I mean, if someone else gets their hands on them plates 144 00:09:11,486 --> 00:09:14,086 mate we're in dead trouble, we're out of business! 145 00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:16,079 - Supposing the old Bill gets starings on 'em. 146 00:09:16,079 --> 00:09:19,819 - Oh come on, don't start being barmy, Norman! 147 00:09:19,819 --> 00:09:21,922 The law wouldn't look twice at 'em! 148 00:09:21,922 --> 00:09:23,838 Now, what we've got to do is get them there 149 00:09:23,838 --> 00:09:26,022 to sort out all the crooked fences in London. 150 00:09:26,022 --> 00:09:27,945 I mean, they've got to be on a manor somewhere. 151 00:09:27,945 --> 00:09:31,593 They haven't got one nut to take 'em further afield. 152 00:09:31,593 --> 00:09:33,355 If they start moonlighting again, 153 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,267 it's gonna fall into hands right here, 154 00:09:35,267 --> 00:09:38,267 where we can put 'em bang to rights! 155 00:09:42,317 --> 00:09:45,150 (engine rumbling) 156 00:09:54,638 --> 00:09:57,555 - Here, let me have a look at that. 157 00:10:02,266 --> 00:10:06,365 - We should never have done a bunk like that, never. 158 00:10:06,365 --> 00:10:07,615 No, oh yes, no. 159 00:10:10,399 --> 00:10:15,007 They'll catch up with us, sure as my name's Maury Kelly. 160 00:10:15,007 --> 00:10:18,046 They will, they'll be on our tail before we can look 'round. 161 00:10:18,046 --> 00:10:19,343 - Utter bloody ridiculous. 162 00:10:19,343 --> 00:10:21,607 How do you think they're gonna find us in this wilderness? 163 00:10:21,607 --> 00:10:23,719 Now look Maury, the plates are mine. 164 00:10:23,719 --> 00:10:26,055 I engraved them and you've printed them. 165 00:10:26,055 --> 00:10:27,868 They're ours by right. 166 00:10:27,868 --> 00:10:30,446 - And will you tell them that when they catch up with us? 167 00:10:30,446 --> 00:10:31,790 - Yes. 168 00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:32,841 But they won't. 169 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,312 Look, by the information on this document, 170 00:10:35,312 --> 00:10:37,803 we can't be very far from there. 171 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,556 I would say at the next crossroads, 172 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,061 that will lead us to Bovington. 173 00:10:42,061 --> 00:10:45,523 - Yeah well, could we stop at the next pub, I'm starving. 174 00:10:45,523 --> 00:10:47,567 - My dear old friend, fortitude. 175 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:50,101 Once there, nourishment awaits. 176 00:10:50,101 --> 00:10:52,851 (engine rumbles) 177 00:11:05,715 --> 00:11:07,647 (upbeat groovy music) 178 00:11:07,647 --> 00:11:09,230 - Psst, psst, psst! 179 00:11:15,171 --> 00:11:17,714 - May I offer you a tea or some beverage, sir? 180 00:11:17,714 --> 00:11:21,299 - I'd better have a cup of tea, it'll look less conspicuous 181 00:11:21,299 --> 00:11:24,864 if I appear to be taking some refreshment. 182 00:11:24,864 --> 00:11:28,012 - One tea and a cup of Oxo please. 183 00:11:28,012 --> 00:11:30,567 - Oh, get your ass mobile and come and get it. 184 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:33,150 I didn't bring me skates today. 185 00:11:35,969 --> 00:11:38,271 - And there's no need for rudeness. 186 00:11:38,271 --> 00:11:42,126 Now, I'll have one tea and a cup of Oxo please. 187 00:11:42,126 --> 00:11:44,955 I'll have one of these buns with-- 188 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,622 Would you like a bun with icing? 189 00:11:48,638 --> 00:11:52,305 No, just the one bun with the icing, please. 190 00:11:55,998 --> 00:11:56,831 - 17p. 191 00:11:58,320 --> 00:11:59,737 - Yes, thank you. 192 00:12:07,028 --> 00:12:09,075 I love these buns that they sell 193 00:12:09,075 --> 00:12:11,237 and you can't get them everywhere, you know. 194 00:12:11,237 --> 00:12:13,537 - Can we get down to the business in hand? 195 00:12:13,537 --> 00:12:16,660 - Oh yes, yes, yes indeed, Mr. Podsnap, yes 196 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:17,832 and what can I do for you? 197 00:12:17,832 --> 00:12:20,862 - For God sake, don't call me Podsnap! 198 00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:22,713 You never know who's within earshot. 199 00:12:22,713 --> 00:12:23,546 Call me Q. 200 00:12:24,694 --> 00:12:28,335 - Q oh yes, yes, I'm sorry, I do apologise. 201 00:12:28,335 --> 00:12:30,668 I remember that, Mr. Q, yes. 202 00:12:32,246 --> 00:12:35,163 Now what could I do for you, Mr. Q? 203 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,653 - What do you think of that? 204 00:12:40,673 --> 00:12:44,061 - Oh, yes well, it's very nice, very. 205 00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:46,284 I had one myself once, you see. 206 00:12:46,284 --> 00:12:48,128 Beautiful texture. 207 00:12:48,128 --> 00:12:51,747 - Yes, yes, yes, yes, but what do you see? 208 00:12:51,747 --> 00:12:54,181 - Well, it's 20 quid, isn't it Mr. Q? 209 00:12:54,181 --> 00:12:57,681 - Right man, but what do you see about it? 210 00:12:58,997 --> 00:13:02,247 - Well, been in some very funny pocket. 211 00:13:05,128 --> 00:13:06,545 - It's a forgery! 212 00:13:08,379 --> 00:13:09,620 - Forgery? 213 00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:12,788 - Well, well, well now, that is beautiful. 214 00:13:12,788 --> 00:13:16,597 I seen some once as in my time, but that is a gem 215 00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:17,557 and no mistake. 216 00:13:17,557 --> 00:13:19,494 - Right, well this is very much on the QT. 217 00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:23,313 But the whole country's flooded with them. 218 00:13:23,313 --> 00:13:25,055 My department has given me the assignment 219 00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,102 to ferret out the source. 220 00:13:27,102 --> 00:13:30,186 - I'm very good at it you'll be, I'm sure Mr. Q. 221 00:13:30,186 --> 00:13:32,085 - I've got the entire bunch working on it 222 00:13:32,085 --> 00:13:36,309 but I need your assistance from the other side. 223 00:13:36,309 --> 00:13:37,358 - Oh, I see. 224 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,766 - I would assume your contacts 225 00:13:38,766 --> 00:13:40,848 could be of great assistance here. 226 00:13:40,848 --> 00:13:43,455 The establishments you inhabit must be a breeding ground 227 00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:46,243 of distribution of a large percentage 228 00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,754 of these illicit notes. 229 00:13:47,754 --> 00:13:49,387 I need your help in this area. 230 00:13:49,387 --> 00:13:51,222 - Yes, yes, I see what you mean. 231 00:13:51,222 --> 00:13:52,385 - Well? 232 00:13:52,385 --> 00:13:55,498 - But now, I believe I can be of assistance to you. 233 00:13:55,498 --> 00:13:59,028 See, now I work with an associate 234 00:13:59,028 --> 00:14:01,697 in on the inside, as it were. 235 00:14:01,697 --> 00:14:03,560 Now, I'll make my contact with her 236 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,976 and with her, you can meet me tonight. 237 00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:07,664 - Whatever you say. 238 00:14:07,664 --> 00:14:09,997 - Yes, the Burlesque, 11:30. 239 00:14:11,596 --> 00:14:13,496 - I'll be there. - Good. 240 00:14:13,496 --> 00:14:15,291 - And I don't need to tell you 241 00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:18,430 that the whole thing is very 242 00:14:18,430 --> 00:14:19,347 entre nous. 243 00:14:21,644 --> 00:14:23,311 - That's nasty, yes. 244 00:14:24,483 --> 00:14:26,387 Righto Mr. Podnos. 245 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:29,340 - No, no, you'll remain until after I've left. 246 00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:31,697 We mustn't be seen leaving together. 247 00:14:31,697 --> 00:14:33,864 I'll see you this evening. 248 00:14:44,434 --> 00:14:47,620 - Another tea, 20 franks and another one 249 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,787 of those lovely iced buns. 250 00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:53,849 - How do you expect me to change that? 251 00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:57,121 Do you think this is the bank of bleedin' England? 252 00:14:57,121 --> 00:14:59,954 (engine rumbling) 253 00:15:18,232 --> 00:15:19,541 - Thank you. 254 00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:22,041 (door clicks) 255 00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:31,225 (knocking) - Shop! 256 00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:32,263 (coughing) 257 00:15:32,263 --> 00:15:34,295 Yeah, going to your chest, see. 258 00:15:34,295 --> 00:15:35,728 - Hello? 259 00:15:35,728 --> 00:15:37,061 - Ah, reception. 260 00:15:38,547 --> 00:15:41,161 Good afternoon. - Good afternoon. 261 00:15:41,161 --> 00:15:44,802 - My name is Clapworthy, Cornelius Clapworthy. 262 00:15:44,802 --> 00:15:49,159 My colleague, Dr. Morris Kelly of Paris Conservatory. 263 00:15:49,159 --> 00:15:51,126 - Oh Mr. Clapworthy! 264 00:15:51,126 --> 00:15:53,009 I'm delighted to see you. 265 00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:57,407 I'm Lady Bovington, the principal at Bovington Manor. 266 00:15:57,407 --> 00:16:01,404 We were getting a bit archi totto about you, you know. 267 00:16:01,404 --> 00:16:04,315 According to your letter, you were due to arrive yesterday. 268 00:16:04,315 --> 00:16:07,379 - Yes, I'm afraid our journey was somewhat delayed. 269 00:16:07,379 --> 00:16:11,190 However, our convince managed the hazardous conditions 270 00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:15,426 of some of your roads here and well, here we are. (laughs) 271 00:16:15,426 --> 00:16:17,813 - Ah well, I hope you'll find the journey's end 272 00:16:17,813 --> 00:16:19,590 was worth the journey. 273 00:16:19,590 --> 00:16:23,299 I'm sure you'll both find peace and tranquillity here 274 00:16:23,299 --> 00:16:27,789 and that our treatment will restore your health completely. 275 00:16:27,789 --> 00:16:31,138 - That, dear lady, is our devout desire. 276 00:16:31,138 --> 00:16:32,808 We have some luggage outside. 277 00:16:32,808 --> 00:16:37,403 If you have someone, assistance would be much appreciated. 278 00:16:37,403 --> 00:16:38,743 - Oh yes, by all means! 279 00:16:38,743 --> 00:16:39,796 (bell dings) 280 00:16:39,796 --> 00:16:41,643 I'll ring for Mr. McKiver. 281 00:16:41,643 --> 00:16:45,003 Mr. McKiver is my chef de garre. 282 00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:47,503 - Hey, what about the nosh, I'm starving! 283 00:16:47,503 --> 00:16:49,920 - Restraint Maury, restraint. 284 00:16:50,859 --> 00:16:54,056 - Now then gentlemen, this is my Mr. McKiver, 285 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:57,018 a treasure beyond measure, if I may say so. 286 00:16:57,018 --> 00:16:57,851 - Oh dear. 287 00:16:59,212 --> 00:17:01,570 Mr. McKiver, would you give Mr. Kelly a hand there? 288 00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:05,237 I'll handle the personal effects in the car. 289 00:17:10,218 --> 00:17:12,635 (clattering) 290 00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:30,564 (man grunting) 291 00:17:33,326 --> 00:17:34,409 - Good gravy! 292 00:17:35,479 --> 00:17:38,540 You have come kitted out for all eventualities! 293 00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:40,612 Anymore hand luggage? 294 00:17:40,612 --> 00:17:42,491 - You will look out there yonder, my lady, 295 00:17:42,491 --> 00:17:44,585 there's another out there as big as that! 296 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:47,538 I don't know how you're gonna get up to the master bedroom. 297 00:17:47,538 --> 00:17:50,483 - Oh go on, Mr. McKiver, don't give us that. 298 00:17:50,483 --> 00:17:53,682 We are convinced that you can overcome. 299 00:17:53,682 --> 00:17:55,085 - It's not right. 300 00:17:55,085 --> 00:17:55,955 Sweat and labour-- 301 00:17:55,955 --> 00:17:57,679 (laughs) 302 00:17:57,679 --> 00:18:00,701 - See, you're thinking it's a lot of gear. 303 00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:02,354 - Yes. 304 00:18:02,354 --> 00:18:04,934 - Now, musicians, you see. 305 00:18:04,934 --> 00:18:06,812 What can you do with them? - What? 306 00:18:06,812 --> 00:18:09,348 - Have you ever heard my friend play? 307 00:18:09,348 --> 00:18:10,181 - No. 308 00:18:10,181 --> 00:18:11,014 - Oh, fat! 309 00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:13,877 - Good old band? 310 00:18:13,877 --> 00:18:15,317 - Oh good, good! 311 00:18:15,317 --> 00:18:18,185 In this case is his organ. 312 00:18:18,185 --> 00:18:22,315 It's the original one, the original one that Chopin 313 00:18:22,315 --> 00:18:24,562 knocked out some of his best preludes on. 314 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,895 Oh yes! 315 00:18:25,895 --> 00:18:29,569 I'll give him a top line, no more, and he's away 316 00:18:29,569 --> 00:18:32,946 like the clappers! (laughs) 317 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:35,018 Mind you, we have to practise a lot. 318 00:18:35,018 --> 00:18:38,969 Oh yes, so if by any chance you should happen to hear, 319 00:18:38,969 --> 00:18:40,731 do me a favour, take no listen. 320 00:18:40,731 --> 00:18:42,898 - Don't worry, Mr. Kelly! 321 00:18:42,898 --> 00:18:45,281 I'm tickled pink to think you should have chosen 322 00:18:45,281 --> 00:18:49,434 dear old Bovington as a venue for the arts. 323 00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:52,416 - You haven't got any other musicians here, have you? 324 00:18:52,416 --> 00:18:54,963 - No, regrettably, not lately. 325 00:18:54,963 --> 00:18:58,232 My dear brother, the late Septimus Bovington, he was a tre-- 326 00:18:58,232 --> 00:18:59,232 - He's dead? 327 00:19:00,669 --> 00:19:02,231 - Defunct. 328 00:19:02,231 --> 00:19:04,208 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 329 00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:07,875 - He was a tremendous supporter to the arts. 330 00:19:08,871 --> 00:19:11,976 Oh, during his lifetime, the whole house was crammed 331 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:15,510 to the attics with music and merriment! 332 00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:18,756 He left us all too soon, alas. 333 00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:21,629 Only two legacies. - Oh really. 334 00:19:21,629 --> 00:19:24,396 - The house and Lord Rodney. 335 00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:25,441 - Lord Rodney? 336 00:19:25,441 --> 00:19:26,807 - My nephew, bless him. 337 00:19:26,807 --> 00:19:28,879 My later brother's boy. 338 00:19:28,879 --> 00:19:32,367 He's carrying on, thank goodness, where his father left off. 339 00:19:32,367 --> 00:19:34,709 At the moment, he's in France with his ballet. 340 00:19:34,709 --> 00:19:37,437 Of course, I was forgetting! 341 00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:40,897 You reside in Paris with your friend, don't you? 342 00:19:40,897 --> 00:19:42,408 Oh how exciting! 343 00:19:42,408 --> 00:19:45,879 Rodney has probably played under your able batons. 344 00:19:45,879 --> 00:19:49,251 ♪ Pretty girl ♪ 345 00:19:49,251 --> 00:19:50,613 ♪ Oh la la ♪ 346 00:19:50,613 --> 00:19:54,572 ♪ Oh la pretty girl ♪ 347 00:19:54,572 --> 00:19:59,572 ♪ P is for the potent lips that make me want to kiss you ♪ 348 00:20:00,013 --> 00:20:05,013 ♪ R is for the rainbow that is dancing in your eyes ♪ 349 00:20:05,607 --> 00:20:10,607 ♪ E is for the ever present smile that lights your face up ♪ 350 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:15,903 ♪ T is for the tenderness and love that never dies ♪ 351 00:20:15,903 --> 00:20:20,903 ♪ Pretty girl come with me ♪ 352 00:20:21,366 --> 00:20:26,366 ♪ And I'll buy you all the nice things you adore ♪ 353 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:31,800 ♪ Pretty girl stay with me ♪ 354 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:37,148 ♪ And you'll never have to worry anymore ♪ 355 00:20:37,555 --> 00:20:39,805 (laughing) 356 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,372 - Hey, hey, what'd you do, what? 357 00:20:45,372 --> 00:20:46,858 Look, if you start that again, 358 00:20:46,858 --> 00:20:48,978 I told you, it goes to your chest! 359 00:20:48,978 --> 00:20:50,478 - Well, I'm sorry. 360 00:20:51,987 --> 00:20:54,316 Is it, you've taken this side of the bed? 361 00:20:54,316 --> 00:20:55,367 - I have, I have. 362 00:20:55,367 --> 00:20:57,276 - What are all these documents? 363 00:20:57,276 --> 00:21:00,561 - Highly educational, very good articles in here. 364 00:21:00,561 --> 00:21:02,074 - May I see them? 365 00:21:02,074 --> 00:21:06,447 - Yes, by all means. - Thank you, thank you. 366 00:21:06,447 --> 00:21:10,362 Oh my goodness, these are most interesting. 367 00:21:10,362 --> 00:21:13,488 Oh Maury, this is the one I'm after. 368 00:21:13,488 --> 00:21:15,080 Good! 369 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,330 (chanting) 370 00:21:18,256 --> 00:21:22,722 - Oh no pictures, no pictures. (laughs) 371 00:21:22,722 --> 00:21:26,887 Yes, I must say, this I could learn to live with. 372 00:21:26,887 --> 00:21:28,191 - [Cornelius] I am glad you like it. 373 00:21:28,191 --> 00:21:30,282 - You know for once, Clapworthy you've come up 374 00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:32,477 with the real McCoy. 375 00:21:32,477 --> 00:21:34,511 We don't have to dress for dinner, do we? 376 00:21:34,511 --> 00:21:36,185 - I think we should. 377 00:21:36,185 --> 00:21:40,102 Remember, we're in a very different league now. 378 00:21:42,561 --> 00:21:45,192 - I think we're a little off course. 379 00:21:45,192 --> 00:21:47,110 Maybe we should've taken that last cut off 380 00:21:47,110 --> 00:21:51,027 at the intersection on the motorway we were on. 381 00:21:52,197 --> 00:21:55,704 Hang on, hold it, Jesus, I'm doing the best I can! 382 00:21:55,704 --> 00:21:57,347 I'm sure almost on top. 383 00:21:57,347 --> 00:22:00,440 - You've been saying that now for the last three hours. 384 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,068 - Darling, I think this is just too bloody much! 385 00:22:03,068 --> 00:22:05,423 We've been creeping up and down bloody lanes all day. 386 00:22:05,423 --> 00:22:09,080 If I see one more bloody babbling brook I'll throw up, 387 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,379 I promise you I will. 388 00:22:10,379 --> 00:22:11,864 - I'm hungry. 389 00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:14,262 (women grumbling) 390 00:22:14,262 --> 00:22:17,711 - You all had fish and chips when we landed at Dover. 391 00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:18,635 - Big deal. 392 00:22:18,635 --> 00:22:20,043 - That was yesterday! 393 00:22:20,043 --> 00:22:23,543 - It was not yesterday, it was last night. 394 00:22:25,175 --> 00:22:28,420 Look, the sooner you get off my back, 395 00:22:28,420 --> 00:22:32,332 let me get a move on, the sooner we get there, right? 396 00:22:32,332 --> 00:22:37,082 - As soon as we get there, we can all sort ourselves out. 397 00:22:38,176 --> 00:22:41,009 (engine rumbling) 398 00:22:46,152 --> 00:22:47,167 (box clattering) 399 00:22:47,167 --> 00:22:49,113 - For God's sake, be careful with that stuff. 400 00:22:49,113 --> 00:22:51,036 You'll ruin the bloody plates up! 401 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,010 - Why, what's in it? 402 00:22:52,010 --> 00:22:53,666 - It's my own special formula. 403 00:22:53,666 --> 00:22:56,075 I use it for edging the plates. 404 00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:58,242 (gasps) 405 00:22:58,242 --> 00:22:59,409 - There it is! 406 00:23:00,376 --> 00:23:03,243 Told you so, Bovington Manor, 407 00:23:03,243 --> 00:23:06,410 ancestral home for the past 500 years. 408 00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:10,440 (soft organ music) 409 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,940 - Oh, listen Mr. McKiver, oh the memories! 410 00:23:15,543 --> 00:23:17,814 (horn honks) 411 00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:20,415 Now, whoever on earth can that be? 412 00:23:20,415 --> 00:23:22,567 - I'd better get outside and have a look. 413 00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:25,484 (women chattering) 414 00:23:33,919 --> 00:23:35,721 - Auntie love, I'm home! 415 00:23:35,721 --> 00:23:38,459 - Rodney, what utter bliss to see you! 416 00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:41,176 I thought you were still in Paris, you naughty boy. 417 00:23:41,176 --> 00:23:43,703 - Ah yes, but I'll tell you about that as soon 418 00:23:43,703 --> 00:23:44,708 as we get unpacked. 419 00:23:44,708 --> 00:23:47,478 - Yes darling, and you must ask all your little friends 420 00:23:47,478 --> 00:23:49,811 to stop to tea. - Absolutely. 421 00:23:51,732 --> 00:23:53,870 Oh, don't worry about the girls, Auntie, 422 00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:55,849 they love to mix and mingle with the guests, 423 00:23:55,849 --> 00:23:56,843 that sort of thing, you know. 424 00:23:56,843 --> 00:23:58,885 - But there are no guests, dear. 425 00:23:58,885 --> 00:24:01,366 That's just the point. 426 00:24:01,366 --> 00:24:05,449 At least except two gentlemen who arrived this afternoon. 427 00:24:05,449 --> 00:24:07,802 - No guests, but I thought you turned the place 428 00:24:07,802 --> 00:24:09,016 into a health farm! 429 00:24:09,016 --> 00:24:11,349 - No guests, positively not. 430 00:24:12,691 --> 00:24:16,327 And consequently, I fear no money either. 431 00:24:16,327 --> 00:24:18,408 Not for want of trying. 432 00:24:18,408 --> 00:24:21,877 Success has not been as one envisaged yet. 433 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:25,771 I even inserted a discreet advertisement in The Lady, 434 00:24:25,771 --> 00:24:28,318 but the only answer I got was from 435 00:24:28,318 --> 00:24:30,331 the two gentlemen I mentioned. 436 00:24:30,331 --> 00:24:33,317 So you see darling, however delightful it would be 437 00:24:33,317 --> 00:24:36,450 to have all these young people staying here, 438 00:24:36,450 --> 00:24:39,188 for me to accommodate such a large party 439 00:24:39,188 --> 00:24:43,321 at the moment would be financially impossible. 440 00:24:43,321 --> 00:24:45,566 - You mean the Bovington Health Farm 441 00:24:45,566 --> 00:24:47,836 consists of you and McKiver? 442 00:24:47,836 --> 00:24:50,180 - I'm afraid so, my darling. 443 00:24:50,180 --> 00:24:52,700 - But this is ridiculous Auntie! 444 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:55,881 Health farms all over the country are making a fortune! 445 00:24:55,881 --> 00:24:57,939 This place, having this place, 446 00:24:57,939 --> 00:25:00,689 is like a licence to print money! 447 00:25:02,825 --> 00:25:03,950 (finger snaps) 448 00:25:03,950 --> 00:25:06,079 I've got an idea. 449 00:25:06,079 --> 00:25:07,722 (laughing) 450 00:25:07,722 --> 00:25:09,104 - Maury? - Yeah? 451 00:25:09,104 --> 00:25:10,867 - Prepare yourself for a new life. 452 00:25:10,867 --> 00:25:13,479 In these surroundings, we can work undisturbed, 453 00:25:13,479 --> 00:25:17,146 peace and tranquillity no bother our fortune. 454 00:25:18,065 --> 00:25:19,935 I take it that the plates are not damaged? 455 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:22,545 - Oh, they're as good as new, believe me. 456 00:25:22,545 --> 00:25:24,623 They don't make 'em like this anymore. 457 00:25:24,623 --> 00:25:25,856 When do we get cracking? 458 00:25:25,856 --> 00:25:27,288 - Oh, possibly tomorrow. 459 00:25:27,288 --> 00:25:30,444 - Aye, here, what about that McKiver chap 460 00:25:30,444 --> 00:25:32,668 and that lady, whatchamacallit? 461 00:25:32,668 --> 00:25:34,423 You don't think they'll twig, do you? 462 00:25:34,423 --> 00:25:36,328 - No, not in a million years. 463 00:25:36,328 --> 00:25:39,503 They'll never hear the sound of this over that organ. 464 00:25:39,503 --> 00:25:44,503 We found the perfect set up! (laughs) 465 00:25:44,567 --> 00:25:47,008 (birds chirping) 466 00:25:47,008 --> 00:25:50,016 (rooster crows) 467 00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:52,599 (door squeaks) 468 00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:04,744 - Wakey, wakey, rise and shine. 469 00:26:12,561 --> 00:26:15,418 - Hey! (groaning) 470 00:26:15,418 --> 00:26:18,251 - Maury, will you stop doing that! 471 00:26:20,525 --> 00:26:21,705 - Good morning. 472 00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:23,138 (laughs) 473 00:26:23,138 --> 00:26:24,601 - Good morning. 474 00:26:24,601 --> 00:26:26,514 I believe you must be in the wrong room. 475 00:26:26,514 --> 00:26:28,807 - Ah, no she isn't. 476 00:26:28,807 --> 00:26:30,687 - We're ready for you. 477 00:26:30,687 --> 00:26:33,025 - No, no, there must be some mistake. 478 00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:35,108 - No mistake, no mistake. 479 00:26:36,363 --> 00:26:38,280 - Are you coming? - Yes. 480 00:26:39,219 --> 00:26:40,331 - Oh no, you're not. 481 00:26:40,331 --> 00:26:43,121 Now, we're here for the cure, you know. 482 00:26:43,121 --> 00:26:44,954 - But we are the cure. 483 00:26:49,297 --> 00:26:50,747 - I knew it had to be something more 484 00:26:50,747 --> 00:26:53,323 than nuts and cold water. 485 00:26:53,323 --> 00:26:56,939 - No you're not, this is most irregular. 486 00:26:56,939 --> 00:26:59,882 - Here, perhaps they're part of the treatment. 487 00:26:59,882 --> 00:27:00,995 - Ridiculous. 488 00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:05,024 Will you please leave our room immediately. 489 00:27:05,024 --> 00:27:06,933 - Come on girls, let's get moving! 490 00:27:06,933 --> 00:27:11,766 (groovy music) (laughing) 491 00:27:51,716 --> 00:27:55,023 - Oh my God, I can't stand much more of this, can you? 492 00:27:55,023 --> 00:27:56,273 Thank goodness! 493 00:27:57,544 --> 00:27:58,624 Get me out of here, darling. 494 00:27:58,624 --> 00:28:00,943 I can't stand it, I can't. 495 00:28:00,943 --> 00:28:01,776 No, no! 496 00:28:02,610 --> 00:28:05,443 (steam whooshing) 497 00:28:06,557 --> 00:28:07,640 My God Maury! 498 00:28:10,525 --> 00:28:11,942 Maury, come back! 499 00:28:15,453 --> 00:28:18,703 (languid groovy music) 500 00:29:02,037 --> 00:29:03,878 - Something I can do for you, chum? 501 00:29:03,878 --> 00:29:05,589 - I'm looking for a gentleman. 502 00:29:05,589 --> 00:29:07,069 - No gentleman in here. 503 00:29:07,069 --> 00:29:08,344 It's all crumpet. 504 00:29:08,344 --> 00:29:09,177 - Crumpet? 505 00:29:10,482 --> 00:29:12,095 Crumpet. 506 00:29:12,095 --> 00:29:15,156 Oh, oh, you misunderstand me. 507 00:29:15,156 --> 00:29:17,998 I'm to meet a business associate here for drinks. 508 00:29:17,998 --> 00:29:22,331 - Oh yes, come on, I'll find you a bottle and the fellow. 509 00:29:22,331 --> 00:29:25,081 - Oh thank you, very nice of you. 510 00:29:41,157 --> 00:29:43,523 - Here you are love, sit yourself down. 511 00:29:43,523 --> 00:29:46,939 You've got a nice view of the stage. 512 00:29:46,939 --> 00:29:49,141 You sure you don't fancy a couple of birds? 513 00:29:49,141 --> 00:29:51,167 - Oh no thank you, I'll just wait here for my friend, 514 00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:52,106 if you don't mind. 515 00:29:52,106 --> 00:29:53,131 - Got some lovely talent. 516 00:29:53,131 --> 00:29:54,982 - No, thank you, no thank you. 517 00:29:54,982 --> 00:29:55,908 I'm all right. - Suit yourself. 518 00:29:55,908 --> 00:29:56,741 Reggie! 519 00:29:58,606 --> 00:30:01,356 Bottle of wine for the gentleman. 520 00:30:05,058 --> 00:30:07,225 (popping) 521 00:30:18,148 --> 00:30:19,846 - Good evening, Mr. Q. 522 00:30:19,846 --> 00:30:22,430 - Couldn't you have chosen a more secluded place than here? 523 00:30:22,430 --> 00:30:25,412 You've got to realise we're on very secretive work. 524 00:30:25,412 --> 00:30:29,149 - Oh don't worry Mr. Q, in this business you can be 525 00:30:29,149 --> 00:30:31,171 very safe in this environment. 526 00:30:31,171 --> 00:30:33,273 You see, the patrons are more interested 527 00:30:33,273 --> 00:30:35,972 in the convening talent. 528 00:30:35,972 --> 00:30:37,800 - I see your point. 529 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:38,680 Now to business. 530 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,591 When do we meet with your associate? 531 00:30:40,591 --> 00:30:44,793 - Ah, yes, yes, now that's a good question, good question! 532 00:30:44,793 --> 00:30:45,808 Any minute now. 533 00:30:45,808 --> 00:30:47,349 She works here as a hostess. 534 00:30:47,349 --> 00:30:48,874 - Here? - Yes. 535 00:30:48,874 --> 00:30:49,811 - Are you mad? 536 00:30:49,811 --> 00:30:52,147 - No, I'm hardly mad, Mr. Q. 537 00:30:52,147 --> 00:30:56,230 We'll have to infiltrate the crevices of the mob. 538 00:30:57,174 --> 00:31:00,005 Now, she's my inside man, as it were. 539 00:31:00,005 --> 00:31:01,665 Now, I've made my presence known 540 00:31:01,665 --> 00:31:04,821 and she'll come over and you'll be expected to meet 541 00:31:04,821 --> 00:31:07,946 like you fancy her, so to speak. 542 00:31:07,946 --> 00:31:09,434 - Fancy her? 543 00:31:09,434 --> 00:31:10,907 But I can't do that! 544 00:31:10,907 --> 00:31:13,486 I'm a married man of 20 years! 545 00:31:13,486 --> 00:31:16,184 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 546 00:31:16,184 --> 00:31:18,101 Well, pretend to fancy. 547 00:31:19,025 --> 00:31:20,358 Avert suspicion. 548 00:31:21,958 --> 00:31:24,558 - I would thought these aren't in my line of country, 549 00:31:24,558 --> 00:31:25,391 I would have thought it-- 550 00:31:25,391 --> 00:31:26,784 - May I sit down? 551 00:31:26,784 --> 00:31:30,428 - Oh yes, please do, make yourself comfortable. 552 00:31:30,428 --> 00:31:32,705 This is my friend, Mr. Q. 553 00:31:32,705 --> 00:31:34,748 This is Christine, I was telling you about. 554 00:31:34,748 --> 00:31:36,381 - Delighted to meet you, my dear. 555 00:31:36,381 --> 00:31:39,020 I hope you will join us in some refreshment. 556 00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:40,187 - I'd love to. 557 00:31:42,069 --> 00:31:45,078 - I take it our colleague here has given you the relative 558 00:31:45,078 --> 00:31:47,232 information regarding our assignment. 559 00:31:47,232 --> 00:31:49,073 - Yes, to a point. 560 00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:53,176 - It's all very undercover, you realise? 561 00:31:53,176 --> 00:31:54,176 - Of course. 562 00:31:55,048 --> 00:31:58,487 - Mr. Nosegay has acquainted me with your talents. 563 00:31:58,487 --> 00:31:59,741 - Has me? 564 00:31:59,741 --> 00:32:01,158 - Oh, oh, I mean, 565 00:32:02,235 --> 00:32:04,068 your talents regarding 566 00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:08,614 yourself as an agent. 567 00:32:08,614 --> 00:32:09,611 - I'm your girl. 568 00:32:09,611 --> 00:32:10,758 - Capital. 569 00:32:10,758 --> 00:32:14,292 We believe that a large proportion of the counterfeit notes 570 00:32:14,292 --> 00:32:17,466 can possibly be passed in places such as this. 571 00:32:17,466 --> 00:32:19,722 We want you to keep your eyes peeled 572 00:32:19,722 --> 00:32:22,295 and if you notice anything out of the ordinary being passed, 573 00:32:22,295 --> 00:32:24,860 contact Nosegay here immediately. 574 00:32:24,860 --> 00:32:26,784 He's in constant contact with me. 575 00:32:26,784 --> 00:32:29,950 - Yes, but what am I to look for exactly? 576 00:32:29,950 --> 00:32:33,176 I mean, how I meant to distinguish between the duds 577 00:32:33,176 --> 00:32:34,186 and the real thing? 578 00:32:34,186 --> 00:32:36,777 - Ah, very little, I'm afraid. 579 00:32:36,777 --> 00:32:38,752 One of the most remarkable examples 580 00:32:38,752 --> 00:32:41,835 of engraving I've seen in many a day. 581 00:32:45,595 --> 00:32:48,869 That, the only defect is the highlight 582 00:32:48,869 --> 00:32:51,094 in her majesty's left eye. 583 00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:52,554 - Goodness me! 584 00:32:52,554 --> 00:32:54,063 It's perfect! 585 00:32:54,063 --> 00:32:56,477 - Regrettably, nearly so. 586 00:32:56,477 --> 00:33:01,127 Nevertheless, we'll get the scoundrels. (laughs) 587 00:33:01,127 --> 00:33:05,052 Very few villains have slipped past me, by jove, 588 00:33:05,052 --> 00:33:06,028 I can tell you. 589 00:33:06,028 --> 00:33:09,378 - I can that just by looking at you. 590 00:33:09,378 --> 00:33:13,584 - Well, let's drink to the success of our mission. 591 00:33:13,584 --> 00:33:14,417 Success! 592 00:33:16,547 --> 00:33:18,950 - Well, I've enjoyed our brief meeting. 593 00:33:18,950 --> 00:33:21,165 I hope we shall meet again in the near future. 594 00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:24,016 Nosegay, keep in contact. 595 00:33:24,016 --> 00:33:25,183 Close contact. 596 00:33:26,043 --> 00:33:28,525 Until we meet again. 597 00:33:28,525 --> 00:33:29,358 Goodbye. 598 00:33:35,982 --> 00:33:36,982 - Missed it. 599 00:33:39,324 --> 00:33:42,291 - Oh, oh, thank you, thank you, I'm very awfully sorry. 600 00:33:42,291 --> 00:33:43,689 - That's quite all right my matey. 601 00:33:43,689 --> 00:33:44,522 Don't worry. 602 00:33:44,522 --> 00:33:48,270 - Only you're very nice, thank you very much. 603 00:33:48,270 --> 00:33:49,958 - Oh, there's my boyfriend. 604 00:33:49,958 --> 00:33:51,810 You don't need me anymore, do you? 605 00:33:51,810 --> 00:33:53,652 I must go and earn my living. 606 00:33:53,652 --> 00:33:55,456 - Yes, that's right love, you're going to attend 607 00:33:55,456 --> 00:33:58,706 to his every need and the best of luck. 608 00:34:00,706 --> 00:34:02,133 - Hello girl. - Hello Norman. 609 00:34:02,133 --> 00:34:02,966 Had a good day? 610 00:34:02,966 --> 00:34:04,174 - No. 611 00:34:04,174 --> 00:34:06,380 Been thinking like the talent, must've lost its way. 612 00:34:06,380 --> 00:34:08,769 Come home last, dancing on three legs. 613 00:34:08,769 --> 00:34:10,903 - The problem with you mate, is you don't study! 614 00:34:10,903 --> 00:34:13,292 You want to get anywhere, you've got to study. 615 00:34:13,292 --> 00:34:16,096 - Love the show and go get something, all right. 616 00:34:16,096 --> 00:34:20,020 John Billet playing the records and welcome and it's smoky. 617 00:34:20,020 --> 00:34:22,192 We seem to be full tonight folks and we're share again, 618 00:34:22,192 --> 00:34:25,840 with audio sets this thing in somo, I tell you. 619 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,090 (playful groovy music) 620 00:34:46,134 --> 00:34:48,929 - Now here's one, what about this Norman? 621 00:34:48,929 --> 00:34:50,930 Removing tomorrow in the 3:30. 622 00:34:50,930 --> 00:34:51,763 - Could be. 623 00:34:51,763 --> 00:34:54,537 Send fellows out in Brighton. 624 00:34:54,537 --> 00:34:56,733 - Look at that bleedin' horse up there. 625 00:34:56,733 --> 00:34:57,983 Who put her in? 626 00:35:28,663 --> 00:35:32,294 She'd been better off with the bleedin' shadow. 627 00:35:32,294 --> 00:35:33,569 Look at the go she's got mate, 628 00:35:33,569 --> 00:35:36,457 she wouldn't be much of a ride either! 629 00:35:36,457 --> 00:35:38,076 Oh for Christ's sake, pay her off tomorrow. 630 00:35:38,076 --> 00:35:41,059 Makes you put the punters off of women. 631 00:35:41,059 --> 00:35:42,780 Now, what about it, Norman? 632 00:35:42,780 --> 00:35:44,124 Gonna have a go on the Mona? 633 00:35:44,124 --> 00:35:46,697 I'm a bit off 100 on the nose. 634 00:35:46,697 --> 00:35:48,677 - Yeah, I'll run a monkey on the neck. 635 00:35:48,677 --> 00:35:50,792 - I'd like a flatter if you think it stands a chance. 636 00:35:50,792 --> 00:35:53,722 - I know you with your bleeding fetters! 637 00:35:53,722 --> 00:35:55,455 The last time you flood the bank 638 00:35:55,455 --> 00:35:57,603 I never saw the colour of the gilt! 639 00:35:57,603 --> 00:36:00,838 If you want, oh put your money where your mouth is. 640 00:36:00,838 --> 00:36:03,005 Now what do you want, aye? 641 00:36:04,470 --> 00:36:05,303 Oh. 642 00:36:06,353 --> 00:36:07,874 You did all right tonight. 643 00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:10,207 Right, 20 pound on the nose. 644 00:36:12,779 --> 00:36:15,529 (birds chirping) 645 00:36:17,441 --> 00:36:19,108 - I want to go home. 646 00:36:20,932 --> 00:36:22,968 They're killing us. 647 00:36:22,968 --> 00:36:25,218 - Morris, enough is enough. 648 00:36:26,281 --> 00:36:29,295 In any case, we haven't any more money to go further afield. 649 00:36:29,295 --> 00:36:31,313 And remember our purpose here. 650 00:36:31,313 --> 00:36:33,063 - I know the purpose! 651 00:36:33,948 --> 00:36:35,985 If I have to go through that bashing everyday, 652 00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:37,819 we'll never live to spend it. 653 00:36:37,819 --> 00:36:39,231 - We've got to stick it out. 654 00:36:39,231 --> 00:36:41,481 (groaning) 655 00:36:43,385 --> 00:36:44,525 What's the matter with ya? 656 00:36:44,525 --> 00:36:45,907 - Oh sod you! 657 00:36:45,907 --> 00:36:47,692 If you want to stay, you stay, 658 00:36:47,692 --> 00:36:51,138 I'm getting back to civilization! 659 00:36:51,138 --> 00:36:53,221 - Here, Maury, come back! 660 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,863 - Where the hell do you think you're going? 661 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,743 ♪ It's great to be here ♪ 662 00:37:04,743 --> 00:37:09,743 ♪ There never ever could be anywhere else for we ♪ 663 00:37:10,272 --> 00:37:13,692 ♪ This is where we want to be ♪ 664 00:37:13,692 --> 00:37:16,901 ♪ Enjoying ourselves ♪ 665 00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:20,449 ♪ It wouldn't be right ♪ 666 00:37:20,449 --> 00:37:25,449 ♪ To go on criticising anywhere nice as this ♪ 667 00:37:25,942 --> 00:37:29,797 ♪ There is such great happiness ♪ 668 00:37:29,797 --> 00:37:34,797 ♪ If what everyone we're getting free exercise ♪ 669 00:37:35,938 --> 00:37:37,474 ♪ No bed all this time ♪ 670 00:37:37,474 --> 00:37:40,982 ♪ It's good for us ♪ 671 00:37:40,982 --> 00:37:45,982 ♪ We're beginning to feel that this is the real Shangri la ♪ 672 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,833 ♪ There's nothing on earth ♪ 673 00:37:51,833 --> 00:37:56,833 ♪ Would ever make us try to leave all our friends behind ♪ 674 00:37:57,181 --> 00:38:00,253 ♪ When we're so well wined and dined ♪ 675 00:38:00,253 --> 00:38:03,586 ♪ It's great to be here ♪ 676 00:38:04,456 --> 00:38:07,873 (plucky mid tempo music) 677 00:39:06,656 --> 00:39:09,642 ♪ It's great to be here ♪ 678 00:39:09,642 --> 00:39:14,642 ♪ There never ever could be anywhere else for we ♪ 679 00:39:15,494 --> 00:39:19,311 ♪ This is where we want to be ♪ 680 00:39:19,311 --> 00:39:22,005 ♪ Here enjoying ourselves ♪ 681 00:39:22,005 --> 00:39:25,401 ♪ It wouldn't be right ♪ 682 00:39:25,401 --> 00:39:30,401 ♪ To go on criticising anywhere nice as this ♪ 683 00:39:30,876 --> 00:39:34,295 ♪ There is such great happiness ♪ 684 00:39:34,295 --> 00:39:37,632 ♪ Here for everyone ♪ 685 00:39:37,632 --> 00:39:42,632 ♪ We're getting free exercise no bed all the time ♪ 686 00:39:42,641 --> 00:39:46,118 ♪ It's good for us ♪ 687 00:39:46,118 --> 00:39:51,118 ♪ We're beginning to feel that this is a real Shangri la ♪ 688 00:39:53,045 --> 00:39:56,449 ♪ There's nothing on earth ♪ 689 00:39:56,449 --> 00:40:01,449 ♪ Would ever make us try to leave all our friends behind ♪ 690 00:40:01,956 --> 00:40:05,094 ♪ When we're so well wined and dined ♪ 691 00:40:05,094 --> 00:40:08,427 ♪ It's great to be here ♪ 692 00:40:09,893 --> 00:40:12,476 (groovy music) 693 00:40:25,668 --> 00:40:27,751 - Hello, Bovington Manor. 694 00:40:30,057 --> 00:40:31,805 Week of the 31st. 695 00:40:31,805 --> 00:40:33,222 Week of the 31st. 696 00:40:34,518 --> 00:40:37,244 Yes, I think I can fit you in with a double room 697 00:40:37,244 --> 00:40:38,445 for that date. 698 00:40:38,445 --> 00:40:41,529 Will you be taking the full course? 699 00:40:41,529 --> 00:40:45,769 Oh yes, we include colonic irrigation, when requested, 700 00:40:45,769 --> 00:40:47,400 oh certainly! 701 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,229 Our young ladies handle all the treatments. 702 00:40:50,229 --> 00:40:53,332 Oh thank you, that would be most gracious of you, 703 00:40:53,332 --> 00:40:56,448 a slight deposit would be much appreciated. 704 00:40:56,448 --> 00:40:59,472 Well, thank you again, goodbye. 705 00:40:59,472 --> 00:41:02,634 What the hell is colonic irrigation Mr. McKiver? 706 00:41:02,634 --> 00:41:05,354 I haven't the foggiest, have you? 707 00:41:05,354 --> 00:41:10,354 - Oh aye, colonic irritation, I can, it's...(laughs) 708 00:41:11,014 --> 00:41:15,131 There's nothing to it, it's, it's a kind of foot massage, 709 00:41:15,131 --> 00:41:18,275 very beneficial for the patients who have to take brisk, 710 00:41:18,275 --> 00:41:19,439 early morning walks. 711 00:41:19,439 --> 00:41:20,439 - Oh, I see. 712 00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:28,860 - Good morning miss. 713 00:41:29,921 --> 00:41:32,754 I'm due here, it says on the card. 714 00:41:33,826 --> 00:41:36,944 - Oh yes, you're down for our 2:30 appointment. 715 00:41:36,944 --> 00:41:38,664 Would you like to take off your gown 716 00:41:38,664 --> 00:41:40,746 and go and lie on your tummy over on the couch? 717 00:41:40,746 --> 00:41:42,079 - Right you are. 718 00:41:43,073 --> 00:41:45,240 (humming) 719 00:41:47,052 --> 00:41:49,872 Thank you very much, thank you, thank you. 720 00:41:49,872 --> 00:41:51,205 Ah, it's lovely. 721 00:41:55,698 --> 00:41:57,865 - Uh, take off your pants. 722 00:41:58,936 --> 00:42:01,973 - Is that really necessary, I mean... 723 00:42:01,973 --> 00:42:04,206 - You're down for irrigation, aren't you? 724 00:42:04,206 --> 00:42:06,194 - Yes, yes, well actually, 725 00:42:06,194 --> 00:42:07,816 I've got an ache across my shoulder here 726 00:42:07,816 --> 00:42:10,011 and the ladyship outside said it would do me good, 727 00:42:10,011 --> 00:42:11,661 so I came long. 728 00:42:11,661 --> 00:42:13,492 - Oh, I suppose it might help. 729 00:42:13,492 --> 00:42:16,271 Now Mr. Benjamin, no need to be shy, off with them. 730 00:42:16,271 --> 00:42:19,170 - No, I there really is, I mean-- 731 00:42:19,170 --> 00:42:21,538 - Nothing to worry about. 732 00:42:21,538 --> 00:42:23,651 - You've seen it all before, haven't you, I mean. 733 00:42:23,651 --> 00:42:26,320 - Oh yes, we'll give you a little massage first. 734 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:27,987 That'll relax you. 735 00:42:27,987 --> 00:42:29,510 - My first time here, you know. 736 00:42:29,510 --> 00:42:30,943 - No need to worry. 737 00:42:30,943 --> 00:42:32,977 - My wife recommended I come along because-- 738 00:42:32,977 --> 00:42:34,875 - Oh, we'll sort you out. 739 00:42:34,875 --> 00:42:37,097 - Oh thank you very much, thank you, oh charming. 740 00:42:37,097 --> 00:42:37,930 Oh, oh! 741 00:42:40,660 --> 00:42:42,910 (groaning) 742 00:42:49,741 --> 00:42:52,199 I never dreamed it would be like this. 743 00:42:52,199 --> 00:42:56,406 This is irrigation, give me more, give me more more more. 744 00:42:56,406 --> 00:42:59,073 Oh, more please, please, please! 745 00:43:01,899 --> 00:43:05,184 Oh don't stop, don't stop, don't stop. 746 00:43:05,184 --> 00:43:07,527 - No, I won't Mr. Benjamin. 747 00:43:07,527 --> 00:43:10,295 There was nothing to worry about, was there? 748 00:43:10,295 --> 00:43:12,873 - No, not at all, not at all, nothing at all. 749 00:43:12,873 --> 00:43:16,123 Oh I like that, I like that, beautiful! 750 00:43:17,308 --> 00:43:20,225 Oh yes! (groaning) 751 00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:25,103 - Mr. Benjamin, you are hard. 752 00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:27,836 Your core muscles really need relaxing. 753 00:43:27,836 --> 00:43:30,765 - Yes, oh yes they do, don't they, yes, yes. 754 00:43:30,765 --> 00:43:32,682 Keep it coming, oh, oh. 755 00:43:36,282 --> 00:43:37,115 Oh! 756 00:43:39,458 --> 00:43:42,685 - There, you're much more relaxed now, aren't you? 757 00:43:42,685 --> 00:43:45,193 - Oh yes, thank you, thank you very much. 758 00:43:45,193 --> 00:43:46,610 - Oh good, there. 759 00:43:48,885 --> 00:43:50,247 Now for irrigation. 760 00:43:50,247 --> 00:43:51,809 - Well I... 761 00:43:51,809 --> 00:43:54,196 I thought that was it, irrigation. 762 00:43:54,196 --> 00:43:55,205 That's not irrigation? 763 00:43:55,205 --> 00:43:58,247 - Oh no, Mr. Benjamin, stay there, we'll sort you out. 764 00:43:58,247 --> 00:44:00,414 - Charming lady, charming. 765 00:44:01,512 --> 00:44:03,212 Irrigation, irrigation. 766 00:44:03,212 --> 00:44:06,988 - Now this, Mr. Benjamin, is irrigation. 767 00:44:06,988 --> 00:44:09,155 (yelling) 768 00:44:10,158 --> 00:44:12,741 (horn blaring) 769 00:44:23,530 --> 00:44:25,305 - This is class? 770 00:44:25,305 --> 00:44:28,369 That's what I call bleedin' class, what do you think Chris? 771 00:44:28,369 --> 00:44:30,232 - Looks all right from the outside. 772 00:44:30,232 --> 00:44:31,857 But anyhow, did we want to come all this way 773 00:44:31,857 --> 00:44:33,518 just for a weekend, though? 774 00:44:33,518 --> 00:44:35,311 I'd of rathered gone to Brighton. 775 00:44:35,311 --> 00:44:37,790 - You've got no appreciation of bloody beauty, haven't you? 776 00:44:37,790 --> 00:44:40,460 You can't see this sort of scenery down south! 777 00:44:40,460 --> 00:44:41,727 Last time we was Brighton, 778 00:44:41,727 --> 00:44:43,341 all we saw was the bleedin' water! 779 00:44:43,341 --> 00:44:45,424 Come on, let's go inside. 780 00:44:48,906 --> 00:44:50,700 - May aye be of assistance to you? 781 00:44:50,700 --> 00:44:52,394 - Yes sir, we booked reservations. 782 00:44:52,394 --> 00:44:55,196 Blitz the name, Norman Blitz. 783 00:44:55,196 --> 00:44:58,171 - You'll be needed over yon to sign the reservations. 784 00:44:58,171 --> 00:45:01,014 Have you any other baggage with you? 785 00:45:01,014 --> 00:45:04,158 - Oh yes, the rest of it's outside in the Mercedes, 786 00:45:04,158 --> 00:45:05,831 you can't miss it, it's the only one there. 787 00:45:05,831 --> 00:45:07,394 - I'll attend to that for you. 788 00:45:07,394 --> 00:45:10,101 You better go over to yon desk and meet her ladyship. 789 00:45:10,101 --> 00:45:12,022 - Oh her ladyship, oh yes! 790 00:45:12,022 --> 00:45:13,189 Come on Chris. 791 00:45:14,689 --> 00:45:16,012 - Find some luggage out there in the Mercedes. 792 00:45:16,012 --> 00:45:17,265 Her ladyship-- 793 00:45:17,265 --> 00:45:18,760 - Can I help you? 794 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,700 - Oh yes madam, we've made reservations. 795 00:45:20,700 --> 00:45:23,128 Blitz the name, Norman Blitz. 796 00:45:23,128 --> 00:45:23,961 - Blitz. 797 00:45:25,940 --> 00:45:28,275 Ah yes, here we are. 798 00:45:28,275 --> 00:45:30,485 Welcome to Bovington Hall, Mr. Blitz. 799 00:45:30,485 --> 00:45:33,516 We have the most delightful rooms for you. 800 00:45:33,516 --> 00:45:34,516 - Thank you. 801 00:45:35,652 --> 00:45:38,071 Rooms, I only booked one! 802 00:45:38,071 --> 00:45:41,290 - Oh yes, I do apologise about that. 803 00:45:41,290 --> 00:45:43,289 All our doubles were fully booked. 804 00:45:43,289 --> 00:45:45,553 However, I'm sure you'll find these reservations 805 00:45:45,553 --> 00:45:47,510 extremely comfortable, 806 00:45:47,510 --> 00:45:50,462 delightful views over the grass moors. 807 00:45:50,462 --> 00:45:52,489 - Jesus Christ! 808 00:45:52,489 --> 00:45:56,107 - It's a pity you are only staying for the long weekend. 809 00:45:56,107 --> 00:46:00,077 However, not to worry, we at Bovington can work wonders 810 00:46:00,077 --> 00:46:01,978 in a minimal space of time. 811 00:46:01,978 --> 00:46:03,069 (bell dings) 812 00:46:03,069 --> 00:46:04,831 - Can't wait. 813 00:46:04,831 --> 00:46:07,572 - Now, these are two of our young ladies, Josie and Tess. 814 00:46:07,572 --> 00:46:11,191 I tell you what I suggest, as you can only stay here 815 00:46:11,191 --> 00:46:14,694 for such a very short time, I suggest Tess and Josie 816 00:46:14,694 --> 00:46:17,576 conduct you to the baths as soon as you're ready. 817 00:46:17,576 --> 00:46:18,939 - The sooner the better aye! 818 00:46:18,939 --> 00:46:21,939 Can't wait to take a few pounds off! 819 00:46:24,772 --> 00:46:27,522 (water splashes) 820 00:47:03,171 --> 00:47:05,671 (organ music) 821 00:47:10,414 --> 00:47:11,247 - Chris? 822 00:47:12,876 --> 00:47:14,370 What the hell are you doing here? 823 00:47:14,370 --> 00:47:15,294 - Rod! 824 00:47:15,294 --> 00:47:16,545 I don't believe it. 825 00:47:16,545 --> 00:47:18,159 I thought you were still in Paris! 826 00:47:18,159 --> 00:47:20,536 Anyway, what's all this about my doing here? 827 00:47:20,536 --> 00:47:23,004 What the hell are you doing here, you bastard? 828 00:47:23,004 --> 00:47:26,604 Last time I saw you was in New Castle, when you left me 829 00:47:26,604 --> 00:47:30,161 with nothing but a bloody paste engagement ring 830 00:47:30,161 --> 00:47:33,530 and what I thought at the time, was a bun in the oven. 831 00:47:33,530 --> 00:47:35,313 - You weren't preggers were you darling? 832 00:47:35,313 --> 00:47:38,118 - Well, no, but it's no thanks to you. 833 00:47:38,118 --> 00:47:41,310 - Darling, darling let me explain. 834 00:47:41,310 --> 00:47:43,010 - Forget it. 835 00:47:43,010 --> 00:47:44,941 If it hadn't been for me bumping into a very old 836 00:47:44,941 --> 00:47:47,644 friend of mine, who I met while landed up there 837 00:47:47,644 --> 00:47:49,825 with cash and waiting for you, 838 00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:51,877 I could have been stuck up there forever. 839 00:47:51,877 --> 00:47:54,580 - Cat, really I didn't mean it. 840 00:47:54,580 --> 00:47:56,258 I was dropped right in the cart. 841 00:47:56,258 --> 00:47:58,842 You know, I was supposed to come back to England from Paris 842 00:47:58,842 --> 00:48:00,757 the week after I left you in New Castle. 843 00:48:00,757 --> 00:48:03,795 Well, that shit of a partner of mine got off 844 00:48:03,795 --> 00:48:05,928 in the middle of the night, left me stranded 845 00:48:05,928 --> 00:48:08,410 with the six girls I took over a strip club engagement. 846 00:48:08,410 --> 00:48:11,206 Apart from them, all I had was a bloody bus. 847 00:48:11,206 --> 00:48:12,797 We had to sell everything, all our resources, 848 00:48:12,797 --> 00:48:14,446 just to get back to England. 849 00:48:14,446 --> 00:48:15,548 - What are you doing here? 850 00:48:15,548 --> 00:48:19,406 I mean, surely they don't have strip shows here. 851 00:48:19,406 --> 00:48:21,317 - My aunt owns the manor. 852 00:48:21,317 --> 00:48:22,150 - What? 853 00:48:22,150 --> 00:48:24,658 That old woman, lady whatever her name is? 854 00:48:24,658 --> 00:48:26,042 - Right. 855 00:48:26,042 --> 00:48:28,359 The place was a shambles and we eventually managed 856 00:48:28,359 --> 00:48:29,350 to make it here. 857 00:48:29,350 --> 00:48:32,204 But I turned it into what it is now. 858 00:48:32,204 --> 00:48:34,084 - And what about the birds? 859 00:48:34,084 --> 00:48:35,238 - They're the staff, 860 00:48:35,238 --> 00:48:37,533 them and some poor old sod called McKiver. 861 00:48:37,533 --> 00:48:39,657 And as you can see, it's all happening. 862 00:48:39,657 --> 00:48:41,984 - Where do I come into it? 863 00:48:41,984 --> 00:48:45,681 - Well, where we left off, if you want. 864 00:48:45,681 --> 00:48:48,873 - You know something Rodney, you have to be the most 865 00:48:48,873 --> 00:48:53,770 complete and utter bastard of the very first order. 866 00:48:53,770 --> 00:48:56,695 - You see, nothing's changed and you still fancy me, 867 00:48:56,695 --> 00:48:57,922 don't you? 868 00:48:57,922 --> 00:48:59,559 - Give yourself a chance to find out. 869 00:48:59,559 --> 00:49:00,863 - Look, I can't go away now. 870 00:49:00,863 --> 00:49:02,574 I've got to go and take care of reception, 871 00:49:02,574 --> 00:49:04,845 but keep yourself open for this evening. 872 00:49:04,845 --> 00:49:06,187 - Do you know the number of my room? 873 00:49:06,187 --> 00:49:08,265 - Don't need it, won't be necessary. 874 00:49:08,265 --> 00:49:11,848 There are certain things happening tonight. 875 00:49:13,016 --> 00:49:15,585 Be at the pool, 12 o'clock. - The pool? 876 00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:17,133 You must be joking. 877 00:49:17,133 --> 00:49:19,259 Surely, we must be past having it away 878 00:49:19,259 --> 00:49:21,434 on the concrete by now, aren't we? 879 00:49:21,434 --> 00:49:22,962 - It won't be like that. 880 00:49:22,962 --> 00:49:27,439 Just make sure you're there and the rest I'll take care of. 881 00:49:27,439 --> 00:49:29,341 - I can imagine, I've been in vogue 882 00:49:29,341 --> 00:49:32,674 with your bright ideas before, remember? 883 00:49:34,328 --> 00:49:37,850 ♪ Pretty girl ♪ 884 00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:42,850 ♪ Oh la la la oh la pretty girl ♪ 885 00:49:42,867 --> 00:49:45,428 ♪ P is for the pouting lips ♪ 886 00:49:45,428 --> 00:49:48,423 ♪ That make me want to kiss you ♪ 887 00:49:48,423 --> 00:49:53,423 ♪ R is for the rainbow that is dancing in your eyes ♪ 888 00:49:53,903 --> 00:49:58,903 ♪ E is for the ever present smile that lights your face up ♪ 889 00:49:59,349 --> 00:50:04,201 ♪ T is for the tenderness and love that never dies ♪ 890 00:50:04,201 --> 00:50:09,201 ♪ Pretty girl come with me ♪ 891 00:50:09,596 --> 00:50:14,596 ♪ And I'll buy you all the nice things you adore ♪ 892 00:50:15,042 --> 00:50:18,625 ♪ Pretty girl stay with me ♪ 893 00:50:19,500 --> 00:50:20,666 - Come along, Mr. Wilson. 894 00:50:20,666 --> 00:50:25,666 ♪ And you'll never have to worry anymore ♪ 895 00:50:26,378 --> 00:50:30,696 ♪ T is for the times you tried to make my life a pleasure ♪ 896 00:50:30,696 --> 00:50:32,946 (laughing) 897 00:50:34,187 --> 00:50:36,270 (coughs) 898 00:50:37,301 --> 00:50:39,293 - Oh, well thanks! 899 00:50:39,293 --> 00:50:42,721 You got a bit of a grip there, haven't ya? (laughs) 900 00:50:42,721 --> 00:50:46,957 And you're strong little girl, aren't you? 901 00:50:46,957 --> 00:50:48,694 Can't understand why my brother ever suggested 902 00:50:48,694 --> 00:50:51,908 that I have to have one of these. 903 00:50:51,908 --> 00:50:54,491 It's not a bad idea, I suppose. 904 00:50:58,358 --> 00:50:59,191 Oh well. 905 00:51:04,231 --> 00:51:05,648 Totem poles, aye? 906 00:51:06,501 --> 00:51:08,057 Well, what do you mean by that? 907 00:51:08,057 --> 00:51:09,530 Totem-- 908 00:51:09,530 --> 00:51:11,942 (yells) 909 00:51:11,942 --> 00:51:14,379 (laughs) 910 00:51:14,379 --> 00:51:16,712 Yes, higher, higher, higher. 911 00:51:17,818 --> 00:51:18,651 Hi there. 912 00:51:24,740 --> 00:51:27,708 Well, that sure is fun, I'll tell ya. 913 00:51:27,708 --> 00:51:32,255 Young lady, I'll recommend you any day of the week. 914 00:51:32,255 --> 00:51:35,422 Most unusual, never quite come across. 915 00:51:36,805 --> 00:51:41,805 It's better that pinochle, I assure that, and more fun too. 916 00:51:42,455 --> 00:51:43,675 Oh boy. 917 00:51:43,675 --> 00:51:46,696 - Oh, I'm looking forward to his. 918 00:51:46,696 --> 00:51:49,025 I hope you've got strong hands. 919 00:51:49,025 --> 00:51:50,514 - Open wide for that. 920 00:51:50,514 --> 00:51:53,629 - I can do with some rough handling today. 921 00:51:53,629 --> 00:51:54,712 - Just relax. 922 00:51:56,184 --> 00:51:57,425 (moaning) 923 00:51:57,425 --> 00:51:59,048 - Where did you learn? 924 00:51:59,048 --> 00:52:01,296 - Oh, I had a good training in Paris. 925 00:52:01,296 --> 00:52:04,628 I was trained for a few months there 926 00:52:04,628 --> 00:52:07,129 and I did quite a lot of massage. 927 00:52:07,129 --> 00:52:11,068 - Paris, Paris, France, oh happy memories. 928 00:52:11,068 --> 00:52:12,756 - [Woman] Yes, have you been there? 929 00:52:12,756 --> 00:52:14,724 - Many, many, many times. 930 00:52:14,724 --> 00:52:17,094 Oh, that's beautiful, that's beautiful. 931 00:52:17,094 --> 00:52:17,927 - Relax. 932 00:52:19,641 --> 00:52:21,083 - [Woman] I am, I am. 933 00:52:21,083 --> 00:52:23,648 (thudding) 934 00:52:23,648 --> 00:52:27,023 I'm gonna be asleep any minute. 935 00:52:27,023 --> 00:52:29,190 (yelling) 936 00:52:30,262 --> 00:52:32,345 - [Woman] Come back here! 937 00:52:51,172 --> 00:52:53,870 - Hello ladies, time for your lunch! 938 00:52:53,870 --> 00:52:56,370 Down the corridor, over there. 939 00:53:01,206 --> 00:53:03,830 Hey, what's been the matter with you these past few days? 940 00:53:03,830 --> 00:53:05,889 - Nothing at all, why? 941 00:53:05,889 --> 00:53:07,056 - Hello girls. 942 00:53:12,385 --> 00:53:14,614 (water splashing) 943 00:53:14,614 --> 00:53:16,781 (yelling) 944 00:53:25,326 --> 00:53:30,326 ♪ Pretty girl stay with me ♪ 945 00:53:30,555 --> 00:53:35,500 ♪ 'Cause you know how to set my heart on fire ♪ 946 00:53:35,500 --> 00:53:40,500 ♪ Pretty girl come with me ♪ 947 00:53:40,857 --> 00:53:45,857 ♪ And I'll buy you all the nice things you adore ♪ 948 00:53:46,053 --> 00:53:51,053 ♪ Pretty girl stay with me ♪ 949 00:53:51,456 --> 00:53:56,456 ♪ And you'll never have to worry anymore ♪ 950 00:53:56,826 --> 00:54:01,826 ♪ Pretty girl come with me ♪ 951 00:54:02,098 --> 00:54:07,098 ♪ And I'll buy you all the nice things you adore ♪ 952 00:54:07,668 --> 00:54:12,668 ♪ Pretty girl stay with me ♪ 953 00:54:13,256 --> 00:54:18,006 ♪ And you'll never have to sorry anymore ♪ 954 00:54:30,756 --> 00:54:34,589 - The Minister said the south coast, Brighton. 955 00:54:35,486 --> 00:54:37,486 I'll go there incognito. 956 00:54:44,525 --> 00:54:45,358 Marvellous! 957 00:54:47,250 --> 00:54:48,083 Marvellous! 958 00:54:51,986 --> 00:54:56,403 (yelling) (rumbling) 959 00:55:07,676 --> 00:55:09,317 - Hey, what your bleeding? 960 00:55:09,317 --> 00:55:11,342 - Nothing, nothing, I'm just waiting to be served. 961 00:55:11,342 --> 00:55:13,897 - Piss off or I'll give you a right hander. 962 00:55:13,897 --> 00:55:14,730 - Oh dear! 963 00:55:17,515 --> 00:55:21,348 - Come to the world's lovely grub, two plates! 964 00:55:23,019 --> 00:55:24,299 - Could you give me a glass of water, please? 965 00:55:24,299 --> 00:55:25,823 - I'm sorry mate, there's no tap here. 966 00:55:25,823 --> 00:55:26,866 I'll tell you what you can have, 967 00:55:26,866 --> 00:55:27,762 you can have a nice cup of that. 968 00:55:27,762 --> 00:55:29,322 (sobs) 969 00:55:29,322 --> 00:55:30,155 - No! 970 00:55:31,106 --> 00:55:34,273 - Plenty of bleedin' water over there! 971 00:55:44,082 --> 00:55:45,526 - Look here, if it's not been to aye, 972 00:55:45,526 --> 00:55:47,204 what you doing here darling? 973 00:55:47,204 --> 00:55:50,953 Ladies toilets around the corner, aye! (laughs) 974 00:55:50,953 --> 00:55:51,805 What've you got in your bag? 975 00:55:51,805 --> 00:55:52,864 Seen it in there, do you? 976 00:55:52,864 --> 00:55:54,557 - No, you're not speaking to me like that. 977 00:55:54,557 --> 00:55:56,504 - Oh, gettin' a bit nark, is she? 978 00:55:56,504 --> 00:55:58,300 What, you going through your change of life then darling? 979 00:55:58,300 --> 00:56:00,201 - Would you mind keeping your salacious remarks 980 00:56:00,201 --> 00:56:01,986 for people of your own elk! 981 00:56:01,986 --> 00:56:04,863 - Salacious aye, that's a big word for a little girl. 982 00:56:04,863 --> 00:56:05,830 - You cretin! 983 00:56:05,830 --> 00:56:07,472 How dare you speak to me like that! 984 00:56:07,472 --> 00:56:08,864 You ought to be in uniform! 985 00:56:08,864 --> 00:56:10,694 Two years discipline would do you good! 986 00:56:10,694 --> 00:56:12,386 Would put some mudders into you! 987 00:56:12,386 --> 00:56:14,743 - Listen here, you better keep that big cake hole of yours, 988 00:56:14,743 --> 00:56:16,310 or you're gonna get my fist in it, see! 989 00:56:16,310 --> 00:56:17,642 - Don't you dare touch me! 990 00:56:17,642 --> 00:56:18,908 I'll have the law on you! 991 00:56:18,908 --> 00:56:19,741 - The law! 992 00:56:21,396 --> 00:56:23,741 - Don't you dare touch me! 993 00:56:23,741 --> 00:56:25,569 - What do you think of that, then? 994 00:56:25,569 --> 00:56:27,641 Here, let's get after the little bastard. 995 00:56:27,641 --> 00:56:29,692 ♪ Now come to the old Brighton ♪ 996 00:56:29,692 --> 00:56:31,489 ♪ The place to make your smile ♪ 997 00:56:31,489 --> 00:56:33,236 ♪ We're glad you came to see our show ♪ 998 00:56:33,236 --> 00:56:35,352 ♪ And laugh with us a while ♪ 999 00:56:35,352 --> 00:56:39,214 ♪ I shall sit there in the sun and listen to a pun ♪ 1000 00:56:39,214 --> 00:56:40,985 ♪ You know there's no place like Brighton ♪ 1001 00:56:40,985 --> 00:56:42,689 ♪ To have a bit of fun ♪ 1002 00:56:42,689 --> 00:56:44,146 - Now are you all enjoying yourselves? 1003 00:56:44,146 --> 00:56:45,631 - [All] Yes! 1004 00:56:45,631 --> 00:56:46,672 - Are you all enjoying yourselves? 1005 00:56:46,672 --> 00:56:47,976 - [All] Yes! 1006 00:56:47,976 --> 00:56:49,957 ♪ La la la la ♪ 1007 00:56:49,957 --> 00:56:51,226 - Thank you. 1008 00:56:51,226 --> 00:56:54,003 ♪ La la la la la ♪ 1009 00:56:54,003 --> 00:56:54,879 Just a minute, just a minute! 1010 00:56:54,879 --> 00:56:56,101 - Oh bollock! 1011 00:56:56,101 --> 00:56:58,540 - Charming, well there's no answer to that! 1012 00:56:58,540 --> 00:57:01,953 ♪ La la la la la ♪ 1013 00:57:01,953 --> 00:57:04,870 (steps clattering) 1014 00:57:09,138 --> 00:57:10,931 - Where the sodding hell's he gone? 1015 00:57:10,931 --> 00:57:12,458 - Eh, he must have had it away, a bit sharp just down 1016 00:57:12,458 --> 00:57:13,950 the other end of the pier. 1017 00:57:13,950 --> 00:57:15,122 Git. 1018 00:57:15,122 --> 00:57:18,226 We'll never find him in that crowd. 1019 00:57:18,226 --> 00:57:21,361 (woman yelling) 1020 00:57:21,361 --> 00:57:22,194 - Look here! 1021 00:57:22,194 --> 00:57:23,194 Come inside! 1022 00:57:25,072 --> 00:57:27,556 Madam read ya, madam read ya! 1023 00:57:27,556 --> 00:57:30,136 - What we gonna do now, then? 1024 00:57:30,136 --> 00:57:31,766 Tell you what, let's go and give that bastard 1025 00:57:31,766 --> 00:57:33,454 of a comedian a bit of a go, aye? 1026 00:57:33,454 --> 00:57:35,304 - Yeah, good idea. 1027 00:57:35,304 --> 00:57:37,079 - Now, what's it gonna be? 1028 00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:40,090 The ball, the cards or the hand? 1029 00:57:40,090 --> 00:57:40,923 - What? 1030 00:57:40,923 --> 00:57:41,756 Oh, I don't want to buy anything. 1031 00:57:41,756 --> 00:57:43,991 - Oh no you don't understand. 1032 00:57:43,991 --> 00:57:47,576 You can have the ball, the cards or the hand. 1033 00:57:47,576 --> 00:57:51,520 Of course, I've got the fluence to use them all. 1034 00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:52,454 - Lying bitch! 1035 00:57:52,454 --> 00:57:54,817 - Shut up, you silly bugger! 1036 00:57:54,817 --> 00:57:58,086 I am sorry sir, now what's it gonna be? 1037 00:57:58,086 --> 00:58:00,354 The ball, the card or the hand. 1038 00:58:00,354 --> 00:58:01,919 - Well, whatever you suggest. 1039 00:58:01,919 --> 00:58:05,688 - Oh I am glad that you said that, sir. 1040 00:58:05,688 --> 00:58:09,102 Course, looking at you, I'd say the hand 1041 00:58:09,102 --> 00:58:11,792 with a little bit of the ball thrown in. 1042 00:58:11,792 --> 00:58:16,792 I must tell ya in all fairness, the hand isn't for-- 1043 00:58:16,925 --> 00:58:20,339 - Why, it says outside the entire reading for one pound. 1044 00:58:20,339 --> 00:58:22,867 - Oh, you're dead right on that score, sir! 1045 00:58:22,867 --> 00:58:27,163 Being a Romani, you've got to cross my hand with silver, 1046 00:58:27,163 --> 00:58:29,109 you do understand, don't ya? 1047 00:58:29,109 --> 00:58:29,942 - I see. 1048 00:58:33,089 --> 00:58:36,247 - Don't delve too deep, sir. (laughs) 1049 00:58:36,247 --> 00:58:39,497 Oh, 50 pence pieces if you please, sir. 1050 00:58:41,229 --> 00:58:42,680 Ah, that's all right. 1051 00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,245 Now give me your hand, your left one 1052 00:58:45,245 --> 00:58:48,551 and let us see what we can see. 1053 00:58:48,551 --> 00:58:50,690 Oh, there's plenty here. 1054 00:58:50,690 --> 00:58:52,938 It's as plain as the nose on my face. 1055 00:58:52,938 --> 00:58:55,294 You've had trouble with a man, haven't ya? 1056 00:58:55,294 --> 00:58:57,258 - Two men, actually. 1057 00:58:57,258 --> 00:59:01,269 - No, there's only one man and he's in a high place. 1058 00:59:01,269 --> 00:59:04,539 You're on a quest and I can see stones. 1059 00:59:04,539 --> 00:59:06,602 Have you had an illness recently? 1060 00:59:06,602 --> 00:59:08,825 - No, not that I can think of. 1061 00:59:08,825 --> 00:59:10,366 - Gallstones? 1062 00:59:10,366 --> 00:59:13,283 - [Podsnap] No, I had a touch of bronchitis the last month. 1063 00:59:13,283 --> 00:59:15,718 - No, it's not that. 1064 00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:17,547 I can only see stones. 1065 00:59:17,547 --> 00:59:19,670 You're surrounded by them. 1066 00:59:19,670 --> 00:59:21,771 Are you sure you haven't had any trouble 1067 00:59:21,771 --> 00:59:23,942 with the old water works? 1068 00:59:23,942 --> 00:59:25,025 - Quite sure! 1069 00:59:25,881 --> 00:59:28,540 - All I can see is stones. 1070 00:59:28,540 --> 00:59:30,040 Stones and stones. 1071 00:59:30,918 --> 00:59:31,751 - Stones? 1072 00:59:32,605 --> 00:59:35,682 Brighton beach, they're the stones! 1073 00:59:35,682 --> 00:59:36,749 I'm on the right path! 1074 00:59:36,749 --> 00:59:39,981 - No, no, you're not where you should be. 1075 00:59:39,981 --> 00:59:43,362 You're on a quest and it's further afield, 1076 00:59:43,362 --> 00:59:44,651 but you're gonna travel. 1077 00:59:44,651 --> 00:59:46,992 That's that line there that tells me that. 1078 00:59:46,992 --> 00:59:49,409 I think I'll look at me ball. 1079 00:59:51,376 --> 00:59:55,777 Ah yes, it's coming clearer now, there we are. 1080 00:59:55,777 --> 00:59:58,158 There's someone very high up, 1081 00:59:58,158 --> 01:00:01,706 who's gonna drop of load of trouble on your shoulders. 1082 01:00:01,706 --> 01:00:03,473 (yelling) 1083 01:00:03,473 --> 01:00:05,140 Oh, I am sorry, sir! 1084 01:00:06,314 --> 01:00:08,328 But you see, since he's been living on the pier, 1085 01:00:08,328 --> 01:00:10,756 I ain't been able to get him house trained. 1086 01:00:10,756 --> 01:00:15,006 But wait a minute, oh it's coming through now, yes. 1087 01:00:16,452 --> 01:00:19,224 I've got to be very blunt about this. 1088 01:00:19,224 --> 01:00:22,208 Have you had anything to do with any women lately? 1089 01:00:22,208 --> 01:00:23,957 - No, not that I can think of. 1090 01:00:23,957 --> 01:00:26,931 - Well, I can see the letter C, 1091 01:00:26,931 --> 01:00:27,764 C, C, C! 1092 01:00:30,940 --> 01:00:32,911 Maybe Christopher? 1093 01:00:32,911 --> 01:00:34,246 - Christine. 1094 01:00:34,246 --> 01:00:36,765 - Ah, it's coming very near now. 1095 01:00:36,765 --> 01:00:38,817 I think I'll use me cards. 1096 01:00:38,817 --> 01:00:40,888 - Please do, do try the cards! 1097 01:00:40,888 --> 01:00:43,241 Yes, tell me more, tell me more! 1098 01:00:43,241 --> 01:00:47,546 - Now, sit quiet, sir, you sit there and I'll tell you 1099 01:00:47,546 --> 01:00:48,640 what I'm gonna do. 1100 01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:52,473 I'm going to let it come out all natural like. 1101 01:00:53,807 --> 01:00:54,640 Tell me, 1102 01:00:55,809 --> 01:00:56,642 tell me! 1103 01:00:58,589 --> 01:01:01,506 You are going where birds fly free! 1104 01:01:03,142 --> 01:01:04,392 Stones, stones! 1105 01:01:06,242 --> 01:01:07,909 Look for the stones! 1106 01:01:11,253 --> 01:01:13,298 Oh dear, I'm exhausted. 1107 01:01:13,298 --> 01:01:14,602 I've told you everything. 1108 01:01:14,602 --> 01:01:16,437 I've given you a double helping of everything, 1109 01:01:16,437 --> 01:01:19,101 the balls, the cards, and the hand. 1110 01:01:19,101 --> 01:01:21,019 I think I'll charge you a little bit more, 1111 01:01:21,019 --> 01:01:21,852 it's only fair, isn't it? 1112 01:01:21,852 --> 01:01:24,035 Blimey, I can't change this. 1113 01:01:24,035 --> 01:01:26,677 - Now you're sure I've got to look for the stones? 1114 01:01:26,677 --> 01:01:29,499 - You can depend upon it. 1115 01:01:29,499 --> 01:01:32,332 You can take the word of a Romani. 1116 01:01:35,438 --> 01:01:38,048 (bird caws) 1117 01:01:38,048 --> 01:01:39,737 - Lies, all lies! 1118 01:01:39,737 --> 01:01:42,154 - I'll kill you, you bastard! 1119 01:01:46,303 --> 01:01:49,053 (birds chirping) 1120 01:01:56,891 --> 01:01:59,849 - Would you like an extra slice of lemon, Mr. Kelly? 1121 01:01:59,849 --> 01:02:00,849 - Thank you. 1122 01:02:04,359 --> 01:02:07,276 (steps clattering) 1123 01:02:08,904 --> 01:02:11,582 - You certainly manage to find the best places 1124 01:02:11,582 --> 01:02:13,727 for a swinging weekend, don't you? 1125 01:02:13,727 --> 01:02:15,373 - It'd do you good to cut the day and just take 1126 01:02:15,373 --> 01:02:17,035 some weight off your ass. 1127 01:02:17,035 --> 01:02:19,639 - I've never had any complaints about my ass, 1128 01:02:19,639 --> 01:02:22,313 as you so delicately put it, up until now. 1129 01:02:22,313 --> 01:02:26,730 - Look, do me a favour, keep quiet and get on with it. 1130 01:02:27,636 --> 01:02:29,469 Aye, aye, what's this? 1131 01:02:31,603 --> 01:02:33,150 - What is that? 1132 01:02:33,150 --> 01:02:34,562 - Oh, it's nothing much. 1133 01:02:34,562 --> 01:02:35,395 - Well, if it's nothing much, 1134 01:02:35,395 --> 01:02:36,532 can I have a look at it please? 1135 01:02:36,532 --> 01:02:37,865 - There you are. 1136 01:02:38,988 --> 01:02:41,161 - Swimming pool, midnight. 1137 01:02:41,161 --> 01:02:41,994 How weird. 1138 01:02:43,029 --> 01:02:44,447 Course you're not going, are you? 1139 01:02:44,447 --> 01:02:47,240 - Course not, don't be silly! 1140 01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:48,650 - Did you manage to get all the cards out? 1141 01:02:48,650 --> 01:02:50,176 - Yes, everybody's got one. 1142 01:02:50,176 --> 01:02:52,840 - All except for the two nutters down at the end there. 1143 01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:55,614 Rodney told us not to take any chances with them. 1144 01:02:55,614 --> 01:02:57,362 - Oh, you mean Clapworthy and Kelly? 1145 01:02:57,362 --> 01:02:58,290 - Yeah. 1146 01:02:58,290 --> 01:02:59,705 - Oh, I shouldn't think they'd add 1147 01:02:59,705 --> 01:03:00,841 much vigour to the proceedings. 1148 01:03:00,841 --> 01:03:01,955 - You can say that again. 1149 01:03:01,955 --> 01:03:03,651 - Although, in a funny kind of way, 1150 01:03:03,651 --> 01:03:05,681 I feel rather sorry for them. 1151 01:03:05,681 --> 01:03:07,764 Just look at their faces. 1152 01:03:20,963 --> 01:03:22,297 (steps clattering) 1153 01:03:22,297 --> 01:03:24,964 (clock ticking) 1154 01:03:40,071 --> 01:03:42,654 (groovy music) 1155 01:03:43,514 --> 01:03:47,796 ♪ Play with me ♪ 1156 01:03:47,796 --> 01:03:52,796 ♪ Come play with me ♪ 1157 01:03:56,131 --> 01:03:58,265 ♪ Come baby play with me ♪ 1158 01:03:58,265 --> 01:04:01,015 ♪ Come on come on take me by the hand ♪ 1159 01:04:01,015 --> 01:04:05,285 ♪ You and me make it to some strange erotic land ♪ 1160 01:04:05,285 --> 01:04:08,206 ♪ You will see that it's not as bad ♪ 1161 01:04:08,206 --> 01:04:11,230 ♪ As it's made out to be ♪ 1162 01:04:11,230 --> 01:04:13,768 ♪ Come with me ♪ 1163 01:04:13,768 --> 01:04:18,141 ♪ We can go come on to some magic carpet trip ♪ 1164 01:04:18,141 --> 01:04:22,475 ♪ And I know we're into love and partnership ♪ 1165 01:04:22,475 --> 01:04:27,475 ♪ Wait and see what the pleasures of the world can really be ♪ 1166 01:04:28,457 --> 01:04:31,608 ♪ With me ♪ 1167 01:04:31,608 --> 01:04:34,188 ♪ Come and play with me ♪ 1168 01:04:34,188 --> 01:04:36,001 ♪ Take me by the hand and stay with me ♪ 1169 01:04:36,001 --> 01:04:37,580 - Well, what you think? 1170 01:04:37,580 --> 01:04:39,534 Was it worth getting out of bed for? 1171 01:04:39,534 --> 01:04:41,295 - Well, when you passed me your card, 1172 01:04:41,295 --> 01:04:43,508 I had other ideas in mind. 1173 01:04:43,508 --> 01:04:45,385 - Everything in good time. 1174 01:04:45,385 --> 01:04:47,620 - Not bad for a start, this. 1175 01:04:47,620 --> 01:04:49,864 - Oh, come along now, I'm sure we can tackle some champagne 1176 01:04:49,864 --> 01:04:51,540 and caviar, can't we? 1177 01:04:51,540 --> 01:04:54,790 - Well, with you I can tackle anything. 1178 01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:02,664 ♪ Take it slow ♪ 1179 01:05:02,664 --> 01:05:05,432 ♪ No need to go mad and change your mind ♪ 1180 01:05:05,432 --> 01:05:09,763 ♪ Don't you know it's only love you're giving me ♪ 1181 01:05:09,763 --> 01:05:14,513 ♪ Take your time take it easy and better ♪ 1182 01:05:20,283 --> 01:05:22,812 - Hello there, glad you were able to get away. 1183 01:05:22,812 --> 01:05:25,252 - Quite a nice, little secluded romantic spot 1184 01:05:25,252 --> 01:05:27,379 you've managed to pick us, I see. 1185 01:05:27,379 --> 01:05:30,512 - Don't worry, I've got it all ready. 1186 01:05:30,512 --> 01:05:32,275 Slip through that entrance over there 1187 01:05:32,275 --> 01:05:34,722 and in the meadow, you'll see a potting shed. 1188 01:05:34,722 --> 01:05:37,184 I'll meet you there in a couple of minutes. 1189 01:05:37,184 --> 01:05:39,669 - You've got to be bloody well joking! 1190 01:05:39,669 --> 01:05:42,892 I'm starved, I'm absolutely famished! 1191 01:05:42,892 --> 01:05:44,297 I haven't eaten all day. 1192 01:05:44,297 --> 01:05:46,606 Rodney, if you really think I'm meant to feel randy, 1193 01:05:46,606 --> 01:05:50,540 sprawled out there like some tomato plants and horse manure, 1194 01:05:50,540 --> 01:05:52,348 you've got another think coming. 1195 01:05:52,348 --> 01:05:55,543 - Don't worry, I've got everything ready, 1196 01:05:55,543 --> 01:05:57,947 I've sorted all the before this shit even started. 1197 01:05:57,947 --> 01:06:00,029 Don't I always think of everything? 1198 01:06:00,029 --> 01:06:02,372 - You've no need to tell me that one. 1199 01:06:02,372 --> 01:06:05,065 I must be mad to even consider this. 1200 01:06:05,065 --> 01:06:06,898 - Sweetie, rely on me. 1201 01:06:07,967 --> 01:06:09,467 - If only I could. 1202 01:06:10,974 --> 01:06:13,680 All right then, but if this is another of your bright little 1203 01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:17,837 ideas that goes wrong, your feet won't touch the ground. 1204 01:06:17,837 --> 01:06:19,254 - Cross my heart. 1205 01:06:20,741 --> 01:06:24,479 Now, go on, off you go and I'll meet you later. 1206 01:06:24,479 --> 01:06:27,312 - Don't you let me down. - I won't. 1207 01:06:31,632 --> 01:06:35,188 Arnia, can you hold the fort by the till a little while? 1208 01:06:35,188 --> 01:06:38,126 I've got a little bit of business I've got to attend to. 1209 01:06:38,126 --> 01:06:41,817 - Yes, I know, I saw a bit this evening. 1210 01:06:41,817 --> 01:06:43,150 Go on, have fun. 1211 01:06:44,866 --> 01:06:49,729 (water splashing) (laughing) 1212 01:06:49,729 --> 01:06:51,376 - Hello, where are you off to? 1213 01:06:51,376 --> 01:06:54,134 - Well, I've got some unfinished business to do, 1214 01:06:54,134 --> 01:06:55,625 know what I mean? 1215 01:06:55,625 --> 01:06:57,282 - Yes, good luck to you. 1216 01:06:57,282 --> 01:07:02,282 (groovy music) (water splashing) 1217 01:07:03,648 --> 01:07:06,613 (clattering) 1218 01:07:06,613 --> 01:07:07,565 - Come on! 1219 01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:08,813 - But the door's open. 1220 01:07:08,813 --> 01:07:13,813 - Don't worry, they won't find us in this part of the manor. 1221 01:07:16,359 --> 01:07:18,609 (groaning) 1222 01:07:20,851 --> 01:07:21,684 Come on. 1223 01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:27,737 (panting) (groaning) 1224 01:07:46,172 --> 01:07:48,505 (screaming) 1225 01:08:10,634 --> 01:08:11,838 - What's wrong, Maury? 1226 01:08:11,838 --> 01:08:14,921 - Can you smell it, it's in the room? 1227 01:08:17,014 --> 01:08:19,144 - I can't smell anything. 1228 01:08:19,144 --> 01:08:22,598 - Food, it's food, I can smell it. 1229 01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:25,002 - Go to sleep Maury, it's hallucinations. 1230 01:08:25,002 --> 01:08:27,091 You usually get them when you're in a weak state. 1231 01:08:27,091 --> 01:08:28,272 Now, just go to sleep. 1232 01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:30,072 - I tell ya, I can't stand it, it's killing me. 1233 01:08:30,072 --> 01:08:32,438 (people laughing) 1234 01:08:32,438 --> 01:08:35,638 Hear, hear, did you hear that? - What? 1235 01:08:35,638 --> 01:08:37,721 - They're laughing at us. 1236 01:08:38,937 --> 01:08:40,280 - I can't hear anything, no. 1237 01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:44,942 - I'll tell ya, they're laughing at us, up there. 1238 01:08:44,942 --> 01:08:47,430 Up there, they're laughing, they're laughing at me. 1239 01:08:47,430 --> 01:08:48,504 - Who is? 1240 01:08:48,504 --> 01:08:49,426 - Them! 1241 01:08:49,426 --> 01:08:50,801 They're laughing at me. 1242 01:08:50,801 --> 01:08:54,612 It's my own fault, it's all them schmucks I cheated 1243 01:08:54,612 --> 01:08:56,677 and turned over all me life. 1244 01:08:56,677 --> 01:08:58,773 They're laughing at me up there. 1245 01:08:58,773 --> 01:09:01,347 See my mother, she used to say to me, 1246 01:09:01,347 --> 01:09:04,666 "Maury, you'll come to no good, Maury, 1247 01:09:04,666 --> 01:09:08,002 "oh I'm telling you Maury, you'll come to no good." 1248 01:09:08,002 --> 01:09:11,101 She wanted me to go into gowns and blouses. 1249 01:09:11,101 --> 01:09:13,851 - You would look very good in them as well, you know that. 1250 01:09:13,851 --> 01:09:15,989 - Gowns and blouses, she used to say. 1251 01:09:15,989 --> 01:09:17,656 Now that's a living. 1252 01:09:18,870 --> 01:09:21,442 - So why did you become a printer? 1253 01:09:21,442 --> 01:09:23,213 - My mother's brother, it was his fault. 1254 01:09:23,213 --> 01:09:25,130 He was in the business. 1255 01:09:26,377 --> 01:09:29,794 Became some kind of partnership with him. 1256 01:09:30,861 --> 01:09:33,998 He used to print ration cards, petrol coupons, 1257 01:09:33,998 --> 01:09:36,767 cut tie tickets, all quality gear. 1258 01:09:36,767 --> 01:09:38,882 I used to distribute it. 1259 01:09:38,882 --> 01:09:40,362 - So? 1260 01:09:40,362 --> 01:09:42,850 - So, well, I was out grafting one day 1261 01:09:42,850 --> 01:09:45,329 at Chelsea Walhampton, I think it was. 1262 01:09:45,329 --> 01:09:46,579 Oh, what a day! 1263 01:09:47,485 --> 01:09:50,182 I was selling the tickets five at a time. 1264 01:09:50,182 --> 01:09:52,620 Did you know, I had a wad of notes in me pocket 1265 01:09:52,620 --> 01:09:53,958 like the roll of liner. 1266 01:09:53,958 --> 01:09:55,791 Whoo, what a day whoo! 1267 01:09:56,775 --> 01:09:57,700 - Go on. 1268 01:09:57,700 --> 01:10:02,200 - Yeah well, one night, when I got back to the office, 1269 01:10:03,231 --> 01:10:05,746 the law had gotten ankle mental. 1270 01:10:05,746 --> 01:10:07,207 - I remember that. 1271 01:10:07,207 --> 01:10:08,849 - Two years they give him. 1272 01:10:08,849 --> 01:10:10,188 So all of a sudden I found myself 1273 01:10:10,188 --> 01:10:11,843 managing director, didn't I? 1274 01:10:11,843 --> 01:10:16,302 I thought, well, I'll go into a better quality type of good. 1275 01:10:16,302 --> 01:10:20,356 Passports, diplomas, something with a bit of finesse. 1276 01:10:20,356 --> 01:10:22,716 Well, for this, I needed a good engraver. 1277 01:10:22,716 --> 01:10:24,792 (laughs) 1278 01:10:24,792 --> 01:10:26,830 - That's how you met me. 1279 01:10:26,830 --> 01:10:27,747 - I met ya. 1280 01:10:29,562 --> 01:10:32,136 I shoulda stayed in gowns and blouses. 1281 01:10:32,136 --> 01:10:34,324 Instead, I find myself in this mashugana place, 1282 01:10:34,324 --> 01:10:35,824 starving to death! 1283 01:10:36,870 --> 01:10:40,116 - Look, for goodness sake, go to sleep. 1284 01:10:40,116 --> 01:10:43,017 In a couple of weeks we'll have enough money here 1285 01:10:43,017 --> 01:10:44,968 to get out and you can eat yourself to death. 1286 01:10:44,968 --> 01:10:47,193 Now, go to sleep for God sake! 1287 01:10:47,193 --> 01:10:49,875 - Well, sorry if I disturbed you. 1288 01:10:49,875 --> 01:10:52,589 - Well, you are disturbing me, so go to sleep, please. 1289 01:10:52,589 --> 01:10:54,138 - Just, I thought I could smell food. 1290 01:10:54,138 --> 01:10:57,805 - Well, go to sleep, I don't smell anything. 1291 01:11:02,712 --> 01:11:04,879 (snoring) 1292 01:11:17,395 --> 01:11:18,478 - What's the matter? 1293 01:11:18,478 --> 01:11:23,038 - Maury, you aggravate me, you just plain aggravate me. 1294 01:11:23,038 --> 01:11:24,508 - But where you going? 1295 01:11:24,508 --> 01:11:27,758 - I'm going to have a pee, do you mind? 1296 01:11:31,942 --> 01:11:32,865 Where are you going? 1297 01:11:32,865 --> 01:11:34,381 - Well... 1298 01:11:34,381 --> 01:11:38,881 - Go back to bed, you've already been, go back to bed. 1299 01:11:58,772 --> 01:12:03,772 (heavy breathing) (water running) 1300 01:12:08,203 --> 01:12:10,370 (moaning) 1301 01:12:31,481 --> 01:12:32,563 - What's that? 1302 01:12:32,563 --> 01:12:36,272 - Oh, it's nothing, don't worry about it. 1303 01:12:36,272 --> 01:12:38,439 (moaning) 1304 01:12:39,539 --> 01:12:41,837 (laughing) (champagne pops) 1305 01:12:41,837 --> 01:12:44,502 - I'll say, this really is the most enchanting room. 1306 01:12:44,502 --> 01:12:46,765 So unexpected, coming across a place like this, 1307 01:12:46,765 --> 01:12:48,873 so off the beaten track. 1308 01:12:48,873 --> 01:12:50,145 And jolly decent of you 1309 01:12:50,145 --> 01:12:52,298 to bring this up to the room personally. 1310 01:12:52,298 --> 01:12:55,118 I mean, you do understand it would be rather embarrassing, 1311 01:12:55,118 --> 01:13:00,118 somebody in my position I can't very well pop in down there. 1312 01:13:00,740 --> 01:13:01,960 You do understand? 1313 01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:03,868 - [Woman] Don't give it another thought, Sir Jeffery. 1314 01:13:03,868 --> 01:13:07,118 - Oh please, call me Jeffery. - Jeffery. 1315 01:13:10,687 --> 01:13:12,244 And I do understand. 1316 01:13:12,244 --> 01:13:14,820 We here at the manor always have the interests 1317 01:13:14,820 --> 01:13:17,249 of our guests at heart. 1318 01:13:17,249 --> 01:13:20,863 - I was rather hoping that this was going to be well, 1319 01:13:20,863 --> 01:13:22,998 a little bit more than, shall we say, 1320 01:13:22,998 --> 01:13:25,581 a service of the establishment? 1321 01:13:26,546 --> 01:13:28,879 - Well, we do try to please. 1322 01:13:41,588 --> 01:13:44,171 (groovy music) 1323 01:13:58,451 --> 01:14:01,301 - Bloody hell darling, you could've waited. 1324 01:14:01,301 --> 01:14:03,230 - I couldn't, I've ravenous! 1325 01:14:03,230 --> 01:14:05,063 - More like ravishing. 1326 01:14:06,565 --> 01:14:08,847 What a wonderful idea, in fact. 1327 01:14:08,847 --> 01:14:10,847 What is wrong with this! 1328 01:14:13,084 --> 01:14:17,501 (moaning) (laughing) 1329 01:14:18,995 --> 01:14:20,995 (sighs) 1330 01:14:32,990 --> 01:14:35,157 (moaning) 1331 01:14:49,425 --> 01:14:50,258 - No, no! 1332 01:14:55,177 --> 01:14:57,260 (laughs) 1333 01:15:21,847 --> 01:15:24,014 - No, oh I'm coming, yeah! 1334 01:15:25,690 --> 01:15:27,857 (moaning) 1335 01:15:35,020 --> 01:15:37,937 (women chattering) 1336 01:15:39,488 --> 01:15:41,162 - Well Rodney, you look a bit baggy around 1337 01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:42,253 the eyes this morning. 1338 01:15:42,253 --> 01:15:44,693 You must've run the ball well and truly last night. 1339 01:15:44,693 --> 01:15:45,599 - Nevermind about that. 1340 01:15:45,599 --> 01:15:47,288 How'd it all go last night? 1341 01:15:47,288 --> 01:15:49,742 - Pretty well, although I have a few things to clear up 1342 01:15:49,742 --> 01:15:52,328 with the girls before we start today's manoeuvres. 1343 01:15:52,328 --> 01:15:54,543 - Okay, let's get started. 1344 01:15:54,543 --> 01:15:56,856 We mustn't slack now everything's going so well for us. 1345 01:15:56,856 --> 01:15:58,602 Come on, get the girls in order. 1346 01:15:58,602 --> 01:16:02,917 - Okay, come on girls, quiet, quiet please! 1347 01:16:02,917 --> 01:16:03,750 Thank you. 1348 01:16:04,749 --> 01:16:07,682 Right, let's go through today's briefing. 1349 01:16:07,682 --> 01:16:09,901 First of all, I think we can up the temperature 1350 01:16:09,901 --> 01:16:11,463 in the steam room a little. 1351 01:16:11,463 --> 01:16:13,231 That will help get rid of some of the booze 1352 01:16:13,231 --> 01:16:15,252 they consumed last night. 1353 01:16:15,252 --> 01:16:19,379 Um, I think perhaps Tess, you'd better take over this job. 1354 01:16:19,379 --> 01:16:20,881 - But that's my job. 1355 01:16:20,881 --> 01:16:24,007 - Well pet, look what's already happened. 1356 01:16:24,007 --> 01:16:26,982 You've nearly asphyxiated six of our residents already. 1357 01:16:26,982 --> 01:16:28,719 No, I think perhaps you'd better 1358 01:16:28,719 --> 01:16:30,968 take care of the midday carrot juice instead. 1359 01:16:30,968 --> 01:16:33,485 - And whilst we're on that subject, Mandy love, 1360 01:16:33,485 --> 01:16:35,477 while your efforts are appreciated, 1361 01:16:35,477 --> 01:16:37,924 no really they are really, 1362 01:16:37,924 --> 01:16:40,011 however perhaps a little less verb. 1363 01:16:40,011 --> 01:16:42,888 Sir Jeffery is unable to get out of bed this morning 1364 01:16:42,888 --> 01:16:44,219 and poor Mr. Nimbly's walking around 1365 01:16:44,219 --> 01:16:46,147 looking like a road map. 1366 01:16:46,147 --> 01:16:48,703 - And as for you, Patsy, poor Mr. Collingworth has taken 1367 01:16:48,703 --> 01:16:50,837 to Bovington General Hospital this morning 1368 01:16:50,837 --> 01:16:53,759 suffering from severe lacerations. 1369 01:16:53,759 --> 01:16:57,525 We had to tell the doctor he was hit by a falling tree. 1370 01:16:57,525 --> 01:16:59,411 But we all know what happened, don't we? 1371 01:16:59,411 --> 01:17:02,922 - Well, he did ask for the full treatment. 1372 01:17:02,922 --> 01:17:04,428 - Well, I'll overlook it just this once, 1373 01:17:04,428 --> 01:17:06,876 but don't let it happen again. 1374 01:17:06,876 --> 01:17:08,659 - All right, let's get the ramble organised 1375 01:17:08,659 --> 01:17:10,380 through the woods for this afternoon. 1376 01:17:10,380 --> 01:17:12,469 That should perk up the taste buds for the evening. 1377 01:17:12,469 --> 01:17:13,393 Tina? 1378 01:17:13,393 --> 01:17:14,764 - Not on your life, darling. 1379 01:17:14,764 --> 01:17:16,711 I can hardly keep awake now. 1380 01:17:16,711 --> 01:17:18,990 We've been up all night and all this physical activity 1381 01:17:18,990 --> 01:17:21,397 during the day is just too bloody much! 1382 01:17:21,397 --> 01:17:23,596 If I see any more greenery, I'll just go out of my mind, 1383 01:17:23,596 --> 01:17:25,558 I promise you I will! 1384 01:17:25,558 --> 01:17:27,666 Why doesn't the Amazon take care of it? 1385 01:17:27,666 --> 01:17:29,619 - Patsy, how bout it? 1386 01:17:29,619 --> 01:17:32,863 - Okay, book me in the for cross country. 1387 01:17:32,863 --> 01:17:35,572 - Right, any more questions or suggestions? 1388 01:17:35,572 --> 01:17:38,039 - Yes, when do we retire? 1389 01:17:38,039 --> 01:17:39,892 - [Rodney] Keep going as we have been and you should be able 1390 01:17:39,892 --> 01:17:42,346 to skate through to the next London season. 1391 01:17:42,346 --> 01:17:44,311 - Thank God for that. 1392 01:17:44,311 --> 01:17:47,498 - Shh, quiet everybody, I think I can hear McKiver. 1393 01:17:47,498 --> 01:17:50,998 We don't kill the golden goose, now do we? 1394 01:17:53,206 --> 01:17:54,808 - Oh, good morning, sir. 1395 01:17:54,808 --> 01:17:55,763 What can I do for you? 1396 01:17:55,763 --> 01:17:57,429 - Oh, I'm down for some treatment this morning. 1397 01:17:57,429 --> 01:17:59,994 - Ah yes, have you been to the manor before? 1398 01:17:59,994 --> 01:18:01,029 - No, no. 1399 01:18:01,029 --> 01:18:02,316 - Then I'll get one of our young ladies 1400 01:18:02,316 --> 01:18:03,208 to show you the way through. 1401 01:18:03,208 --> 01:18:04,375 Nanette? - Yes? 1402 01:18:05,731 --> 01:18:07,376 - Would you like to show Mr. Blitz the way through 1403 01:18:07,376 --> 01:18:08,729 to the steam room please. 1404 01:18:08,729 --> 01:18:09,562 - Morning. 1405 01:18:09,562 --> 01:18:10,395 - Yes, certainly. 1406 01:18:10,395 --> 01:18:11,576 Would you like to follow me, sir? 1407 01:18:11,576 --> 01:18:14,743 - Can take me anywhere you like, love. 1408 01:18:18,557 --> 01:18:20,403 (groans) 1409 01:18:20,403 --> 01:18:23,927 - Do us a favour, Mr. Clapworthy, let's get out of here. 1410 01:18:23,927 --> 01:18:27,176 Oh, I'll be satisfied with what we've got, look at me. 1411 01:18:27,176 --> 01:18:28,740 I'm wasting away! 1412 01:18:28,740 --> 01:18:31,687 - Listen Morris, just a few more days 1413 01:18:31,687 --> 01:18:34,175 and we'll have reached our target. 1414 01:18:34,175 --> 01:18:37,767 Every pound we lose in here, will be worth two and a half 1415 01:18:37,767 --> 01:18:40,150 when on the outside. 1416 01:18:40,150 --> 01:18:41,706 - Well, I'm not a greedy man. 1417 01:18:41,706 --> 01:18:43,632 I'll be happy with what we've got. 1418 01:18:43,632 --> 01:18:46,218 (steam hissing) 1419 01:18:46,218 --> 01:18:48,635 - Maury, you'll have to stop. 1420 01:18:49,651 --> 01:18:51,901 - Now, make yourself comfortable in here, Mr. Blitz, 1421 01:18:51,901 --> 01:18:54,288 and I'll be back in half and hour. 1422 01:18:54,288 --> 01:18:56,038 - All right, darling. 1423 01:18:59,538 --> 01:19:01,942 (yells) 1424 01:19:01,942 --> 01:19:04,859 - Them seats are half bleedin' hot! 1425 01:19:08,830 --> 01:19:09,997 That's better. 1426 01:19:10,978 --> 01:19:14,083 I've never been in a place like this before. 1427 01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:15,679 Sure, I suppose this is the place 1428 01:19:15,679 --> 01:19:18,007 to take the weight off, aye. 1429 01:19:18,007 --> 01:19:20,789 Blitz the name, Norman Blitz. 1430 01:19:20,789 --> 01:19:22,372 - Nice to know you. 1431 01:19:23,977 --> 01:19:26,424 - Unusual, this lot, you know. 1432 01:19:26,424 --> 01:19:27,689 - You'll get used to it. 1433 01:19:27,689 --> 01:19:29,348 - Yeah well, there's nothing like sweating 1434 01:19:29,348 --> 01:19:31,031 to throw you up, is there? 1435 01:19:31,031 --> 01:19:33,478 - Sweatings not the only thing you get in this place. 1436 01:19:33,478 --> 01:19:36,181 - Hey, what about them birds? 1437 01:19:36,181 --> 01:19:37,732 What about them birds, you know, 1438 01:19:37,732 --> 01:19:39,079 that lot that brought me in. 1439 01:19:39,079 --> 01:19:41,952 Oh, that's a big tasty innit. 1440 01:19:41,952 --> 01:19:44,869 - Don't talk about anything to eat. 1441 01:19:51,573 --> 01:19:53,079 - How are you, Mr. Blitz? 1442 01:19:53,079 --> 01:19:54,409 It's not too hot for you, is it? 1443 01:19:54,409 --> 01:19:55,242 - Oh no, no. 1444 01:19:55,242 --> 01:19:59,081 Now, you mustn't take too much the first day. 1445 01:19:59,081 --> 01:20:01,960 Come along, it's time for your cold shower, Mr. Clapworthy. 1446 01:20:01,960 --> 01:20:03,868 - Clapworthy, Clapworthy? 1447 01:20:03,868 --> 01:20:05,088 Don't I know you from somewhere? 1448 01:20:05,088 --> 01:20:07,237 - Oh no, I don't think you've ever had the pleasure, sir. 1449 01:20:07,237 --> 01:20:09,480 - Now come along Mr. Kelly, you too. 1450 01:20:09,480 --> 01:20:12,563 - Morris, how bout a shower? - Oh yes. 1451 01:20:13,774 --> 01:20:17,017 - Here, you're the two sods what scarped! 1452 01:20:17,017 --> 01:20:18,496 (groovy music) 1453 01:20:18,496 --> 01:20:20,776 - Morris, pretty novel, 1454 01:20:20,776 --> 01:20:22,389 that was one of Slasher's men in there. 1455 01:20:22,389 --> 01:20:23,849 We're out Maur. 1456 01:20:23,849 --> 01:20:24,869 - What we gonna do? 1457 01:20:24,869 --> 01:20:26,729 - Bloody run! 1458 01:20:26,729 --> 01:20:28,798 - I'm telling you Slash, the two of them are down here 1459 01:20:28,798 --> 01:20:30,776 as large as life. 1460 01:20:30,776 --> 01:20:33,321 Course I know it's them! 1461 01:20:33,321 --> 01:20:36,341 Who else do you know with names like that? 1462 01:20:36,341 --> 01:20:37,174 Jewish? 1463 01:20:38,092 --> 01:20:40,257 Oh, I don't know I never look at them things. 1464 01:20:40,257 --> 01:20:43,530 - Well, don't let them out of your site, Norman! 1465 01:20:43,530 --> 01:20:46,729 Me and the two boys will up there straight away! 1466 01:20:46,729 --> 01:20:47,562 - Right. 1467 01:20:48,713 --> 01:20:49,546 (upbeat groovy music) 1468 01:20:49,546 --> 01:20:51,223 - Here you are Maury, you have these. 1469 01:20:51,223 --> 01:20:52,402 - Where we gonna put them? 1470 01:20:52,402 --> 01:20:53,853 - Well, certainly not here. 1471 01:20:53,853 --> 01:20:55,157 Let's hide them in the garden. 1472 01:20:55,157 --> 01:20:56,990 - Good idea. - Come on. 1473 01:21:25,964 --> 01:21:27,989 You take those down the back and burn 'em. 1474 01:21:27,989 --> 01:21:29,628 - Yes. 1475 01:21:29,628 --> 01:21:32,211 (groovy music) 1476 01:21:43,301 --> 01:21:45,718 (clattering) 1477 01:21:48,824 --> 01:21:51,907 - Make sure you burn them all, Maury. 1478 01:22:01,303 --> 01:22:03,032 - What are you two up to? 1479 01:22:03,032 --> 01:22:06,391 - Well, we thought, you see, after the shower, 1480 01:22:06,391 --> 01:22:08,564 a bit of fresh air and exercise would do us good. 1481 01:22:08,564 --> 01:22:10,471 - To stimulate the circulation. 1482 01:22:10,471 --> 01:22:12,826 - Don't give me that, look at that smoke. 1483 01:22:12,826 --> 01:22:14,218 You've been burning something. 1484 01:22:14,218 --> 01:22:16,978 I've been watching you both from the upstairs window. 1485 01:22:16,978 --> 01:22:20,502 - Katrina, we're in serious trouble. 1486 01:22:20,502 --> 01:22:23,849 We are not, in fact, musicians. 1487 01:22:23,849 --> 01:22:24,746 - That figures, 1488 01:22:24,746 --> 01:22:26,693 after listening to "O For the Wings of a Dove" 1489 01:22:26,693 --> 01:22:29,592 every afternoon for the past couple of months. 1490 01:22:29,592 --> 01:22:32,275 - My correct title is Inspector Clapworthy 1491 01:22:32,275 --> 01:22:34,431 of the British Intelligence. 1492 01:22:34,431 --> 01:22:39,064 My colleague here is none other than the Dr. Kelly. 1493 01:22:39,064 --> 01:22:42,110 - You see, we didn't actually arrive from Paris. 1494 01:22:42,110 --> 01:22:45,860 No, see Miss Katrina, I've been a hunted man. 1495 01:22:47,583 --> 01:22:51,286 I have, I've been a hunted man and the only organisation 1496 01:22:51,286 --> 01:22:53,286 I could turn to was MI5. 1497 01:22:55,338 --> 01:22:57,957 It was there I met the Inspector. 1498 01:22:57,957 --> 01:22:59,207 Oh, what a man. 1499 01:23:00,814 --> 01:23:03,910 - And the bonfire, where does this hunted bit come in? 1500 01:23:03,910 --> 01:23:08,220 - Yeah well, you see, I was making these plans 1501 01:23:08,220 --> 01:23:12,229 and blueprints for a new revolutionary hivercraft. 1502 01:23:12,229 --> 01:23:13,971 - Hover, hover. 1503 01:23:13,971 --> 01:23:15,496 - Hov-- - Hover. 1504 01:23:15,496 --> 01:23:16,579 - Hover, hey. 1505 01:23:17,611 --> 01:23:20,441 - Just tell the girl the story. 1506 01:23:20,441 --> 01:23:24,108 - Yeah, well unfortunately see, unbeknownst, 1507 01:23:25,595 --> 01:23:28,264 there was a leak in the security, you see. 1508 01:23:28,264 --> 01:23:30,735 The news had got out about my good fortune 1509 01:23:30,735 --> 01:23:33,872 and all the people, the whole of London was hunting me then. 1510 01:23:33,872 --> 01:23:37,912 Yeah, but unfortunately see, this mob got to hear about it. 1511 01:23:37,912 --> 01:23:40,799 Now they're hearing chasing us and they want to do us! 1512 01:23:40,799 --> 01:23:41,826 - But can't you call the police? 1513 01:23:41,826 --> 01:23:43,513 - No, no, no. 1514 01:23:43,513 --> 01:23:45,642 We of the service always work alone. 1515 01:23:45,642 --> 01:23:46,566 - Together. 1516 01:23:46,566 --> 01:23:49,032 - But if they're coming here, what are you going to do? 1517 01:23:49,032 --> 01:23:51,366 - Well, as others have done before us, 1518 01:23:51,366 --> 01:23:55,278 go down but with our chins held high. 1519 01:23:55,278 --> 01:23:57,315 - There must be something we can do. 1520 01:23:57,315 --> 01:23:59,880 - Well, you think about it Miss Katrina 1521 01:23:59,880 --> 01:24:01,399 and while you're doing that, 1522 01:24:01,399 --> 01:24:03,729 the Inspector and I will go off and pack. 1523 01:24:03,729 --> 01:24:05,470 - That's a good idea. 1524 01:24:05,470 --> 01:24:07,467 - I know, I've got it! 1525 01:24:07,467 --> 01:24:08,300 The girls! 1526 01:24:09,308 --> 01:24:10,808 - Are you certain it's them? 1527 01:24:10,808 --> 01:24:13,521 - Course I'm certain and I'll check with the porter. 1528 01:24:13,521 --> 01:24:15,701 He said they arrived the day after we found out 1529 01:24:15,701 --> 01:24:17,179 they scarpered from London. 1530 01:24:17,179 --> 01:24:20,388 And what's more, they took two big boxes up to their rooms. 1531 01:24:20,388 --> 01:24:22,298 - And that's how it happened, 1532 01:24:22,298 --> 01:24:24,066 that's exactly what they told me. 1533 01:24:24,066 --> 01:24:27,268 (women chattering) 1534 01:24:27,268 --> 01:24:30,119 - Ah, if only the General was here now. 1535 01:24:30,119 --> 01:24:34,002 But by the way, I was his pattern in the 1914 and 19 knot. 1536 01:24:34,002 --> 01:24:36,181 Here, the satin act of going to the plate 1537 01:24:36,181 --> 01:24:37,823 and then in with a cold steel! 1538 01:24:37,823 --> 01:24:38,656 Ah! 1539 01:24:41,066 --> 01:24:43,869 Now then, you right here, and I'll go away and get me pipes. 1540 01:24:43,869 --> 01:24:46,899 That'll scare the shit out of them! 1541 01:24:46,899 --> 01:24:48,649 - Come on girls, into action! 1542 01:24:48,649 --> 01:24:51,399 (men chattering) 1543 01:24:52,763 --> 01:24:54,763 - Come along, gentlemen. 1544 01:24:56,244 --> 01:24:57,147 Come on! 1545 01:24:57,147 --> 01:24:58,530 - Where are you taking us? 1546 01:24:58,530 --> 01:25:00,231 - I don't want to go down there again! 1547 01:25:00,231 --> 01:25:02,731 We've just come up from there! 1548 01:25:04,355 --> 01:25:06,312 - All right, you go in there, I'll get him him. 1549 01:25:06,312 --> 01:25:07,145 - Okay. 1550 01:25:25,667 --> 01:25:28,456 (thuds) 1551 01:25:28,456 --> 01:25:29,844 - That's another one down. 1552 01:25:29,844 --> 01:25:31,011 - Great stuff. 1553 01:25:33,127 --> 01:25:35,485 - Come on, mate, that is enough, we'll have the rest later. 1554 01:25:35,485 --> 01:25:38,443 - Oh no, I'm afraid I can't let you go yet! 1555 01:25:38,443 --> 01:25:41,209 - Lady Bovington insists on the full treatment 1556 01:25:41,209 --> 01:25:42,292 at all times! 1557 01:25:44,138 --> 01:25:45,633 (whistles) 1558 01:25:45,633 --> 01:25:47,300 - Oi, get off of me! 1559 01:25:48,581 --> 01:25:51,248 (girls yelling) 1560 01:25:54,401 --> 01:25:56,483 - Maury, we'd better get back to the garden. 1561 01:25:56,483 --> 01:25:59,233 Get them plates, quick, let's go. 1562 01:26:00,693 --> 01:26:01,670 - Can I help you? 1563 01:26:01,670 --> 01:26:02,593 - Yes, missus. 1564 01:26:02,593 --> 01:26:05,211 I'm looking for the you know what. 1565 01:26:05,211 --> 01:26:09,621 - Ah, straight down the corridor and turn left. 1566 01:26:09,621 --> 01:26:12,538 (steps clattering) 1567 01:26:14,673 --> 01:26:16,316 Good morning, Vicar. 1568 01:26:16,316 --> 01:26:19,021 - I believe our Virgil phoned you yesterday 1569 01:26:19,021 --> 01:26:21,739 with regards to the scouts bazaar. 1570 01:26:21,739 --> 01:26:24,762 - I do know that Mr. McKiver has removed 1571 01:26:24,762 --> 01:26:29,221 most of the unwanted bric a brac out to the potting shed. 1572 01:26:29,221 --> 01:26:30,992 If you care to rummage about there, 1573 01:26:30,992 --> 01:26:33,470 I'm sure you're more than welcome 1574 01:26:33,470 --> 01:26:35,672 to take anything you could find you think 1575 01:26:35,672 --> 01:26:36,875 will come in useful. 1576 01:26:36,875 --> 01:26:39,420 - Most generous of you, Lady Bovington. 1577 01:26:39,420 --> 01:26:41,824 We have a barrel outside. 1578 01:26:41,824 --> 01:26:43,491 May we pop down now? 1579 01:26:45,195 --> 01:26:47,082 - Well, do, please do! 1580 01:26:47,082 --> 01:26:48,689 - Oh, thank you so much! 1581 01:26:48,689 --> 01:26:52,106 Hope to see you at the service on Sunday. 1582 01:26:53,115 --> 01:26:53,977 - Sunday. 1583 01:26:53,977 --> 01:26:55,587 - Now come along, troop. 1584 01:26:55,587 --> 01:26:57,004 To work, to work! 1585 01:26:57,947 --> 01:27:00,092 - Right, scout master! 1586 01:27:00,092 --> 01:27:02,837 Everything's ready and under control. 1587 01:27:02,837 --> 01:27:04,004 - Quick march. 1588 01:27:07,482 --> 01:27:08,683 - Ah, there you are. 1589 01:27:08,683 --> 01:27:10,782 We've been waiting for you in the exercise room. 1590 01:27:10,782 --> 01:27:12,035 - Yeah, I'll pick the scarper. 1591 01:27:12,035 --> 01:27:13,671 - Unlikely! 1592 01:27:13,671 --> 01:27:15,671 Come on, girls, get him! 1593 01:27:17,818 --> 01:27:20,262 - Positive gold mine. 1594 01:27:20,262 --> 01:27:21,095 Here. 1595 01:27:28,715 --> 01:27:29,966 - Vicar? - Yes, Trixie? 1596 01:27:29,966 --> 01:27:31,253 - Will these go? 1597 01:27:31,253 --> 01:27:33,333 - Oh, what a bountiful harvest. 1598 01:27:33,333 --> 01:27:36,415 All this should fill a complete stall. 1599 01:27:36,415 --> 01:27:38,461 Oh, these appear to be copper, 1600 01:27:38,461 --> 01:27:41,346 how excellent for the scout's metal class. 1601 01:27:41,346 --> 01:27:43,173 I shall place them upon the barrel. 1602 01:27:43,173 --> 01:27:44,673 Excuse me, Trixie. 1603 01:27:52,543 --> 01:27:54,710 (hissing) 1604 01:27:58,823 --> 01:27:59,656 - Oh! 1605 01:28:01,175 --> 01:28:02,145 Bleedin' hell. 1606 01:28:02,145 --> 01:28:04,241 Are you kinky or something? 1607 01:28:04,241 --> 01:28:07,660 You say you come here for pleasure. 1608 01:28:07,660 --> 01:28:10,357 I wonder how the other two are getting on? 1609 01:28:10,357 --> 01:28:13,390 - Come on lads, keep up the good work, no slacking now! 1610 01:28:13,390 --> 01:28:15,473 (groans) 1611 01:28:18,805 --> 01:28:20,658 - Oh, there they are. 1612 01:28:20,658 --> 01:28:22,453 Come on, they're useless! 1613 01:28:22,453 --> 01:28:25,203 We'd better find them on our own! 1614 01:28:26,384 --> 01:28:27,312 - I'll get the plates. 1615 01:28:27,312 --> 01:28:29,080 - I'll see all the notes are burnt. 1616 01:28:29,080 --> 01:28:29,913 - Right. 1617 01:28:38,170 --> 01:28:41,003 (cart clattering) 1618 01:28:43,730 --> 01:28:44,652 - Come on, mate! 1619 01:28:44,652 --> 01:28:46,269 What are you doing? 1620 01:28:46,269 --> 01:28:47,436 Can't you see? 1621 01:28:49,638 --> 01:28:51,204 - My word, what exuberance. 1622 01:28:51,204 --> 01:28:53,241 - You seem to have collected quite an assortment 1623 01:28:53,241 --> 01:28:54,574 for your bazaar. 1624 01:28:55,659 --> 01:28:58,143 - Oh Lady, what I have here would make 1625 01:28:58,143 --> 01:28:59,775 a most delightful display. 1626 01:28:59,775 --> 01:29:00,810 - I'm sure it will. 1627 01:29:00,810 --> 01:29:02,533 I didn't see them used. 1628 01:29:02,533 --> 01:29:06,248 - They were down by the shed with all this. 1629 01:29:06,248 --> 01:29:08,538 - Do you know I think these might belong to Rodney. 1630 01:29:08,538 --> 01:29:10,126 I think we ought to show him them 1631 01:29:10,126 --> 01:29:13,503 before you hand them to your helpers. 1632 01:29:13,503 --> 01:29:15,193 - Well, I quite understand, my dear lady. 1633 01:29:15,193 --> 01:29:17,882 I mean, anything that isn't needed, young Trixie here 1634 01:29:17,882 --> 01:29:19,763 can come up and collect later. 1635 01:29:19,763 --> 01:29:20,846 - Oh good. 1636 01:29:20,846 --> 01:29:23,436 - Certainly, I mean to show them to Rodney now. 1637 01:29:23,436 --> 01:29:25,481 - My dear lady, good day. 1638 01:29:25,481 --> 01:29:26,314 - Goodbye. 1639 01:29:28,658 --> 01:29:31,961 - Well done, come on troop, quick march. 1640 01:29:31,961 --> 01:29:33,502 - Right girls, we got rid of the toss, 1641 01:29:33,502 --> 01:29:35,931 now we've got to get rid of the ring leaders. 1642 01:29:35,931 --> 01:29:37,598 Look, there they go! 1643 01:29:39,250 --> 01:29:41,814 Come on, let's get 'em! 1644 01:29:41,814 --> 01:29:44,397 (groovy music) 1645 01:29:48,257 --> 01:29:50,424 (yelling) 1646 01:30:08,781 --> 01:30:10,948 (booming) 1647 01:30:22,046 --> 01:30:23,068 - There? 1648 01:30:23,068 --> 01:30:24,318 - Yeah, Lady B! 1649 01:30:25,567 --> 01:30:30,102 Now then, don't make a pig of yourself with that. 1650 01:30:30,102 --> 01:30:31,824 - Yeah, of course I do see your point of view, 1651 01:30:31,824 --> 01:30:33,737 but you've got to see our point of view too. 1652 01:30:33,737 --> 01:30:37,009 I mean, you're gonna be taking a strict rotation innit ya? 1653 01:30:37,009 --> 01:30:38,809 Well, I do the best for you. 1654 01:30:38,809 --> 01:30:43,056 Three weeks from now, now that is a promise, mate! 1655 01:30:43,056 --> 01:30:47,329 Now we've got a bunch of sod amerous kudus on the run now. 1656 01:30:47,329 --> 01:30:51,719 As soon as we carry that lot, we'll run your lot 1657 01:30:51,719 --> 01:30:54,379 in the machine a bit sharpies, what. 1658 01:30:54,379 --> 01:30:55,665 Okay! 1659 01:30:55,665 --> 01:30:58,587 Okay, our pleasure Mr. Gunnerfort. 1660 01:30:58,587 --> 01:31:00,087 We'll be in touch! 1661 01:31:01,631 --> 01:31:03,645 - Everything going according to plan? 1662 01:31:03,645 --> 01:31:06,128 - Oh, couldn't be better, my love. 1663 01:31:06,128 --> 01:31:09,753 Shall we make our rounds now or are you a bit tied up? 1664 01:31:09,753 --> 01:31:10,858 - No! 1665 01:31:10,858 --> 01:31:12,451 Lena can hold the fort. 1666 01:31:12,451 --> 01:31:16,348 We must show some interest in the work, mustn't we? 1667 01:31:16,348 --> 01:31:18,819 Else Mr. Clapworthy and Kelly will go 1668 01:31:18,819 --> 01:31:20,280 into their sulks again. 1669 01:31:20,280 --> 01:31:22,143 We can't have that, can we? 1670 01:31:22,143 --> 01:31:23,310 - Quite right. 1671 01:31:25,243 --> 01:31:30,243 ♪ Oh for the wings of the wings of a dove ♪ 1672 01:31:31,630 --> 01:31:36,630 ♪ Far away far away would I roam ♪ 1673 01:31:39,197 --> 01:31:44,197 ♪ All for the wings for the wings of a dove ♪ 1674 01:31:46,042 --> 01:31:51,042 ♪ Far away far away ♪ 1675 01:31:51,641 --> 01:31:53,891 ♪ Far away ♪ 1676 01:31:54,963 --> 01:31:57,880 - Your should be identical to mine. 1677 01:31:59,344 --> 01:32:00,594 - Oh, I am not! 1678 01:32:01,878 --> 01:32:06,254 ♪ All for the wings for the wings of a dove ♪ 1679 01:32:06,254 --> 01:32:11,254 ♪ Far away far away would I roam ♪ 1680 01:32:13,704 --> 01:32:18,704 ♪ All for the wings for the wings of a dove ♪ 1681 01:32:20,975 --> 01:32:22,471 - The stones! 1682 01:32:22,471 --> 01:32:25,056 I'll be surrounded by stones! 1683 01:32:25,056 --> 01:32:28,860 I've got to be close to it now! (laughing) 1684 01:32:28,860 --> 01:32:32,360 (soft instrumental music) 1685 01:32:41,378 --> 01:32:44,759 ♪ It's great to here ♪ 1686 01:32:44,759 --> 01:32:49,759 ♪ There never ever could be anywhere else for we ♪ 1687 01:32:50,493 --> 01:32:54,194 ♪ This is where we want to be ♪ 1688 01:32:54,194 --> 01:32:56,872 ♪ Here enjoying ourself ♪ 1689 01:32:56,872 --> 01:33:00,461 ♪ It wouldn't be right ♪ 1690 01:33:00,461 --> 01:33:05,461 ♪ To go on criticising anywhere nice as this ♪ 1691 01:33:06,072 --> 01:33:09,843 ♪ There is such great happiness ♪ 1692 01:33:09,843 --> 01:33:12,732 ♪ Here for everyone ♪ 1693 01:33:12,732 --> 01:33:15,697 ♪ We're getting free exercise ♪ 1694 01:33:15,697 --> 01:33:20,697 ♪ No bread all this time it's good for us ♪ 1695 01:33:21,119 --> 01:33:26,119 ♪ We're beginning to feel that this is the real Shangri la ♪ 1696 01:33:28,244 --> 01:33:31,757 ♪ There's nothing on earth ♪ 1697 01:33:31,757 --> 01:33:36,757 ♪ Would ever make us try to leave all our friends behind ♪ 1698 01:33:37,616 --> 01:33:40,532 ♪ When we're so well wined and dined ♪ 1699 01:33:40,532 --> 01:33:43,865 ♪ It's great to be here ♪