1 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:14,930 [snoring] 2 00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:17,430 Aw, she looks so peaceful. 3 00:00:17,510 --> 00:00:20,220 Think she's dreaming that she's not overstaying her welcome? 4 00:00:20,390 --> 00:00:22,480 When she got that wine delivered to the house, 5 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,440 I thought that was her thank-you present, that she was leaving, 6 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,190 -but then she just drank the wine. -Five days ago. 7 00:00:28,270 --> 00:00:29,900 -Morning, everybody. -Aah! Kinko! 8 00:00:30,070 --> 00:00:33,150 Another beautiful day in the city of Brotherly Angels. 9 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,820 Todd, I don't recall accidentally ingesting poison, 10 00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:38,990 and yet here you are trying to make me vomit. 11 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,700 You wanna go buy me a kite and then fly a kite? 12 00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:43,580 No. Kites are sky trash. 13 00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:48,340 [groans] Why is it so daytime right now? 14 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,340 Wanda? 15 00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:50,590 [groaning] 16 00:00:50,670 --> 00:00:53,800 Wanna go surf some cloud waves? That's what I call wind. 17 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,840 Sorry. Some of us have jobs. 18 00:00:55,930 --> 00:00:58,050 Not all of us. Just some of us. 19 00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,220 Oh, yeah, my job. 20 00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,390 -Morning. -[J.D.] What? 21 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,060 I'm done with my sabbatical and I'm ready to get back to work. 22 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,820 What sabbatical? I fired you. 23 00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:11,230 Oh, I thought when you said, "You're fired," 24 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,070 that was just you "giving me the business." 25 00:01:14,150 --> 00:01:16,490 No, I was taking the "business" away from you. 26 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,070 Oh. 27 00:01:18,530 --> 00:01:20,990 Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter. You wanna go fly a kite? 28 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,290 Put me down for a supersized "sounds great." 29 00:01:23,370 --> 00:01:26,580 But with an even larger main course of "sadly, I cannot." 30 00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:30,460 I am swamped here at work. First, I gotta put my suit on. 31 00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:32,170 Then I gotta go to hair and makeup. 32 00:01:32,340 --> 00:01:33,840 Then we record the show. 33 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,130 And then I gotta take my suit off. 34 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:39,220 So, that's, like, the whole day. Sorry. 35 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,010 [groans] 36 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:42,970 [groans] 37 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:44,810 Ah. 38 00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:46,100 "Looking for a friend?" 39 00:01:46,270 --> 00:01:47,390 Yes. 40 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:48,810 "Need direction?" 41 00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:50,230 I'm listening. 42 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,610 "Try Scientology"? 43 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,690 -Huh. -Excuse me? Sir? 44 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,030 -Huh? -Have you ever thought 45 00:01:56,110 --> 00:01:58,450 about trying improv comedy? 46 00:01:58,570 --> 00:02:02,200 Improv comedy? I don't know... 47 00:02:02,370 --> 00:02:04,700 Why not? It's not like there's anything else to do. 48 00:02:04,790 --> 00:02:06,210 Here on Mars. 49 00:02:06,370 --> 00:02:07,620 We're on Mars? 50 00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:12,420 Yes. And in a Martian ice cream shop. Care for a butterscotch swirl? 51 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,500 Whoa! 52 00:02:13,670 --> 00:02:16,130 The only limit is my imagination. 53 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,010 Why not come by our theater and try a free class? 54 00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:23,100 Okay! Can I bring this food inside the theater? 55 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,850 Ha, good one. 56 00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:27,180 -But no. -Oh. 57 00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:30,900 [♪♪] 58 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,870 "That's when I learned that guns can blow a vato away. 59 00:03:26,950 --> 00:03:31,120 But calculus? Calculus can blow a mind away." 60 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,370 [Abe] Cut! 61 00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:33,540 We got it! 62 00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:35,210 That's the day, everybody. 63 00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:36,210 [slurping] 64 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:40,220 -You sure we got it, Abe? -Of course. You were phenomenal. 65 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:43,300 Really? Because that kid sneezed in the middle of my monologue. 66 00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:46,100 -We can fix that in post. -Abe, I'm supposed to tell you 67 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,930 the boom mike fell into the last shot. 68 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,730 You sure you don't wanna get another take? Just for safety? 69 00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:53,690 What am I, Kubrick? We can fix all this stuff in post. 70 00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:55,730 It's an easy scene. 71 00:03:55,820 --> 00:04:00,070 Secretariat's a nice guy, the Spanish kids learn a lesson. 72 00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:01,570 Boom. Bam! Done! 73 00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,780 But Secretariat never actually taught math in South Central. 74 00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:08,740 I don't know what Secretariat did or didn't do. I wasn't there. 75 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:11,710 -Yeah, but-- -Okay, so the studio wants gangbangers, 76 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,120 we'll give them gangbangers. 77 00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:15,500 -We get paid either way, right? -I guess. 78 00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:18,750 I can't wait to get home. I got a coq au vin in the slow cooker. 79 00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:20,050 You like coq au vin? 80 00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:23,180 I think so. Is that the move where a French girl pours soup in-- 81 00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:24,720 Come over for dinner, okay? 82 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,100 -You'll love it. -Okay. 83 00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:29,600 Chin up, big guy. So, we ain't making Casablanca. 84 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,520 [slurping] 85 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,810 -BoJack. Shut up. -Aah! What are you--? 86 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,310 No one can know I'm here. 87 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,360 -What? -Shut your stupid mouth, you idiot. 88 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,440 As you know, you're my favorite client. 89 00:04:42,530 --> 00:04:45,240 If I left Vigor, would you follow me to a new agency? 90 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,200 Sure, but no one's gonna hire me after this movie comes out. 91 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,830 The script turned into a piece of shit, and the director is a total hack. 92 00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:53,120 Good guy, total hack. 93 00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:55,620 Let's get you something before the movie comes out. 94 00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:58,630 We got an offer in for this new play off-Broadway. 95 00:04:58,790 --> 00:05:00,460 Theater? That's what real actors do. 96 00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:03,090 Yeah, I told them that, but they said she wanted you. 97 00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:05,680 -She? -Yeah, this hot new playwright Jill Pill. 98 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,550 -She came out of nowhere. -Jill Pill? 99 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,060 New York Magazine called her the enfant terrible 100 00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:11,560 of the immersive theater world, 101 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,980 and then later clarified that that's a compliment. 102 00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:16,650 It sounds like the kind of thing I should be doing now. 103 00:05:16,730 --> 00:05:20,020 -Something artistic and bold. -Rehearsals start in two weeks. 104 00:05:20,110 --> 00:05:22,280 Are you ready to go to New York for six months? 105 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,030 New York's a great city to live in for six months 106 00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:28,530 and not a second longer and only if you're insanely wealthy. I can't wait! 107 00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:33,790 Now, that's a lot of apple sauce. 108 00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:35,790 [all] Apple sauce! 109 00:05:35,870 --> 00:05:36,920 Oh-ho! 110 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,250 That was so funny. 111 00:05:38,330 --> 00:05:40,750 Which one of you guys wrote all those funny jokes? 112 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,260 No, Todd, here at Shenanigags, we make things up on the spot. 113 00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:48,470 -Let's try it. Give me a suggestion. -Uh... I don't know. 114 00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:49,680 Suggestions? 115 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:50,680 [all laughing] 116 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,810 Your suggestion was "suggestions." 117 00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:55,560 -Way to break the fourth wall. -That wasn't that funny. 118 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,600 My name's Bryan and you haven't won me over yet. 119 00:05:58,770 --> 00:06:00,400 -Oh, Bryan. -Todd, in improv, 120 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,690 we get suggestions from an audience then make up scenes based on them. 121 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,320 There are just a few simple rules. You don't ask questions. You don't say no. 122 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,410 No matter what. When someone makes a suggestion, you always try to build on it. 123 00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:13,410 We call that "yes, and..." 124 00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:17,920 Yes, and if you mess up, that's okay. It's all part of the fun. 125 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,460 Is it really that simple? 126 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:23,130 Ugh! It's incredibly complicated and requires years of training. 127 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,130 Oh, Bryan. 128 00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:26,130 [all laughing] 129 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:30,260 But improv isn't just about a constant clamoring for attention and validation. 130 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,350 It's about community. 131 00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:33,890 I've always wanted to be part of a community. 132 00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:36,390 Well, you are now. Your first class is $200. 133 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,350 I thought you said it was free. 134 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,060 Oh, that was just me doing an improv. 135 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,360 I am so proud of you. 136 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,860 Every day I'm telling people all about the great stuff you're doing there. 137 00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:53,030 -Yeah, I don't know-- -And they say, "Wow, she sounds amazing." 138 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,950 And I say, "I'm here to confirm she is an incredible woman." 139 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,830 -Well-- -You know, the sound guy's wife 140 00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,290 works with at-risk teens. 141 00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:03,290 And I was like, "Yeah, that's okay, but compared to what my wife is doing, 142 00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:05,050 -your wife is bullshit!" -Oh. 143 00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:06,550 And he had to agree with me. 144 00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:08,470 -Um-- -Because I am his boss. 145 00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:10,930 -Listen-- -Let me talk to one of the locals. 146 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:14,720 I wanna hear someone else talk about how what a selfless hero my wife is. 147 00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:16,600 -Oh, uh... -Ah, now come on. 148 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,810 -Most refugees got their tongues cut out. -Find one with a tongue. 149 00:07:19,890 --> 00:07:21,440 -I don't think-- -Indulge me. 150 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:22,440 Okay. 151 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,900 [in softer voice] Hello. I am refugee from village. 152 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:29,030 Hey, what's your name, Superstar? 153 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,110 Uh, my name is... 154 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,160 Coffee Maker. [groans] 155 00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:41,000 Ah. Kofi Makir. Am I pronouncing that right? 156 00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:47,590 Hey, Todd, you had some killer provs in class today. 157 00:07:47,670 --> 00:07:50,840 Yes, and that zombie dentist scene was so innovative. 158 00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:51,840 Eh... 159 00:07:52,010 --> 00:07:53,840 -Oh, Bryan. -Guys, look. 160 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:55,180 It's Copernicus. 161 00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:56,260 [all gasp] 162 00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,100 -Who's that? -What are you, new? 163 00:07:58,180 --> 00:07:59,600 Yes, I am new. 164 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:02,100 Copernicus is the founder of Shenanigags. 165 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,560 That guy is the Jan-Ove Waldner of modern improv. 166 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,650 -Who is Jan-Ove Waldner? -The Michael Jordan of table tennis. 167 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:08,820 Oh. 168 00:08:08,980 --> 00:08:10,940 -Let's go talk to him. -Are you kidding? 169 00:08:11,110 --> 00:08:13,110 You can't just go up and talk to Copernicus. 170 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,120 Man, Todd, you don't know shit. You're just a tourist. 171 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,240 No, I'm not. 172 00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:20,330 If you're one of us, prove it. Go improv that lady over there. 173 00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:21,710 Freestyle. 174 00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:23,870 No audience, no net. 175 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,540 -I don't know... -Hey, if you're down with the prov, 176 00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:27,840 you gotta prove that prov. 177 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,260 All right. I'll do it. 178 00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:34,760 -Hello, old ma'am. -Oh, hello. 179 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,600 I'm just waiting for my friend Doris. Have you seen her? 180 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:39,560 Yes, 181 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,600 and she exploded? 182 00:08:42,770 --> 00:08:44,520 Doris exploded? 183 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,020 -You just got prov'd! -In your face, lady! 184 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,270 The streets are ours! 185 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,530 -Hurray, improv! I did it! -You have briefly won me over. 186 00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:56,370 Poor Doris... 187 00:08:58,990 --> 00:09:01,660 That is not what I thought coq au vin was. But it's great. 188 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,830 Well, I'm no Emeril Lagasse, but we do get by. 189 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,330 -Oh, stop. [laughs] -Bam! 190 00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:09,380 Like Emeril? Ha, remember that? 191 00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:10,300 He said "bam." 192 00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:13,010 I don't know who Emeril is, but he sounds delightful. 193 00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:14,670 Hey, should I give him a sitcom? 194 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,930 BoJack, Abe tells me you guys are almost done with the movie. 195 00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,930 One week left! 196 00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,810 You two lovebirds gonna do any traveling or anything? 197 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:26,150 I'll be traveling back and forth to New York for the next few months 198 00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:28,860 because BoJack's doing a play there after you finish. 199 00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,230 -Oh, I love plays. -A play. 200 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,860 That's my favorite place to eat crinkly candies. 201 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,820 Yeah, I can't wait to finally work on something good, you know? 202 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,200 Oh? 203 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:41,030 Although I gotta hand it to your husband. It has been a really painless shoot, 204 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,200 even though the movie's gonna be a piece of shit, right? 205 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,460 -What? -Oh, you said "piece of ship," right? 206 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,790 Like shipshape? [giggles] 207 00:09:47,870 --> 00:09:50,130 Anyway, what were we talking about? Who knows? 208 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:51,960 -Okay, moving on. -Hey, it's fine. 209 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,380 Abe knows what we're making. 210 00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:54,970 Right? 211 00:09:55,050 --> 00:09:56,090 [Abe slurps] 212 00:09:56,180 --> 00:09:59,930 -Wanda, would you help me with dessert? -Uh, okay. 213 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,270 Yeah. New York is so great in the summer, 214 00:10:05,350 --> 00:10:08,650 but I don't think we're going to be done in time. 215 00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:10,860 We're looking at a ton of reshoots. 216 00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:12,770 -Are you kidding? -Well, you know, 217 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:15,900 because the movie's such a piece of shit and all. 218 00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:17,530 Did that hurt your feelings? 219 00:10:17,610 --> 00:10:20,370 I mean, you're the one who said we're not making Casablanca. 220 00:10:20,570 --> 00:10:24,700 Right, because Casablanca is a movie about a club owner named Rick. 221 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,370 This movie's about Secretariat, a racehorse. 222 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:32,750 Wait, you literally meant we're not making the actual movie Casablanca? 223 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,760 That movie already exists. Why would we make Casablanca? 224 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,510 -This is a different movie. -I think there was a misunderstanding. 225 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,760 Wrong, boy-o. There was a mister-understanding. 226 00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:47,430 And that mister is me understanding you just fine. 227 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,980 You come into my home and you call my work shit? 228 00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:52,020 -You know what I think? You're shit. -What? 229 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:55,150 You think I don't get enough takes? I'll get more takes. 230 00:10:55,230 --> 00:10:57,650 Just wait, see how many takes I can get. 231 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:02,910 Well, don't go. We haven't had dessert yet. 232 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,620 Shirley's lemon meringue? Mwah. 233 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:08,370 I mean, it's no banana cream pie. 234 00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,580 Because it's a different kind of pie? 235 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,790 [slurs] That's right. 236 00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:17,960 Why did you have to antagonize him? 237 00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:19,760 I wasn't trying to antagonize him. 238 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,100 -He said, "It's no Casablanca." -Well, what's done is done. 239 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:25,640 You're happy. You didn't want me to go to New York. 240 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,140 Lucky me, I get to stay here 241 00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,560 and work on this movie that's gonna ruin my career. 242 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,690 There's no reason to sulk about it, right? 243 00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:35,150 Or you could sulk about it. 244 00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:36,820 Diane does raise some good points. 245 00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:37,820 No, she doesn't. 246 00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:41,990 Besides, I don't think Diane's the person you wanna be going to for life advice now. 247 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,490 Why? Just because I've been drinking myself to sleep on your deck chairs 248 00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:49,700 and lying to my husband for the last week? Hey, there's a Cheez-It on the shelf. 249 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,960 I knew I kept these things around for a reason. 250 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:57,210 -I just had the most amazing prov sesh. -No one cares, Todd. 251 00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,010 Hey, you guys wanna help me practice? Make a suggestion. 252 00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,760 -Stop. -Aah. Sorry, officer, 253 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,180 I didn't see that stop sign. 254 00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:06,640 Yes. 255 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,060 And my car runs on farts. 256 00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:09,020 -[Todd mimics farting] -[Wanda] Ugh! 257 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:11,100 -Stop. No, stop it. -Please stop. 258 00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:12,310 Not a suggestion. 259 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,310 [mimics farting] 260 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,730 Okay. I just hope I impress the elder council. 261 00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,570 I want to become a Level Two, 262 00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:23,410 so I can finally achieve clarity on the Mainstage with the chosen ones. 263 00:12:23,570 --> 00:12:25,320 Oh, shit, Todd's in a cult. 264 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,950 What? No, improv is not a cult. 265 00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:29,870 It's just a dogmatic school of thought 266 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,120 taught by a for-profit organization 267 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:35,000 with the promise of social and professional opportunities. 268 00:12:35,170 --> 00:12:37,710 -Ahh. -It's a cult. And I know. 269 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,970 I learned a little about cults during that year I was a Scientologist. 270 00:12:42,130 --> 00:12:44,720 Coincidentally during that year, I read a book about cults. 271 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,800 Wait, are you saying Scientology is a cult? 272 00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:49,810 No, Scientology is not a cult. 273 00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:51,350 Improv is a cult. 274 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,270 I wanna be very clear. This is about improv. 275 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,940 -I really don't think it's that bad, guys. -Why does anything matter, right? 276 00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:01,190 Love is an illusion, and happiness is fleeting, 277 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,660 no such thing as God, and all your favorite musicians beat their wives. 278 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,740 Allegedly. 279 00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:08,580 Would you talk to her? 280 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:09,620 [sighs] Yes. 281 00:13:09,780 --> 00:13:13,710 Yes, and I am a Nazi Kardashian. 282 00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:16,500 Heyyy... Hitler. 283 00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:17,500 Please stop. 284 00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:19,790 [panting] 285 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,010 President Lohan! Get away from that fire hose! 286 00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:25,430 [all] Fire hose! 287 00:13:25,510 --> 00:13:27,390 [grunts] Sorry I'm late, guys! 288 00:13:27,550 --> 00:13:30,470 Todd, we take tardiness seriously here at Shenanigags. 289 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:34,980 -If you miss one more class, you're out. -I'm sorry. But, wait, Bryan isn't here. 290 00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:38,100 -He's later than I am. -Bryan's not gonna be at practice anymore. 291 00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:41,860 He's been negative, so Copernicus thought he could benefit from some time away. 292 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:45,570 He's been reassigned to the Shenanigags comedy cruise line, the Giggleship. 293 00:13:46,070 --> 00:13:49,240 -Is that a reward or a punishment? -That's up to Bryan. 294 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,660 Let's have no more questions about the Giggleship. 295 00:13:52,370 --> 00:13:53,500 Oh, uh, all right. 296 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:56,500 Well, you know, I was actually talking to my best friend, 297 00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:59,750 and he said improv is a cult. 298 00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:01,670 I mean, that's crazy, right? 299 00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:05,670 [all laughing] 300 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:07,090 [coughs] 301 00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:10,010 If you think Shenanigags is a cult, you're free to go, Todd. 302 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,680 Oh, no. I don't wanna go. I love this place. 303 00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:15,680 My friend just doesn't know how great you guys are. 304 00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:18,600 It sounds like your friend's not yes-and'ing you. 305 00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,400 Invite him to your graduation show. 306 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,940 If he's too negative to support you, you should take a good hard think 307 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,650 about if that's the kind of energy you want in your life. 308 00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:30,320 [groans] I hate good hard thinks. 309 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,370 I love you, too, Mr. Peanutbutter. But I-- I gotta go. 310 00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:39,370 I'm-- Yeah, I'm building a school for deaf kids. 311 00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:42,210 The kids get jealous if I'm talking on the phone. 312 00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:43,460 Uh, okay, bye. 313 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,840 So, hey, hi. 314 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,090 How long are you thinking of staying here? Just for my own reference. 315 00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:51,260 Oh, shit. Is Wanda making you get rid of me? 316 00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:52,930 No one is making me do anything. 317 00:14:53,010 --> 00:14:55,100 Except keep acting in this movie you hate. 318 00:14:55,220 --> 00:14:56,060 Well, yeah. 319 00:14:56,850 --> 00:15:00,980 I really thought I could do it. I thought I could go far away and help people 320 00:15:01,060 --> 00:15:03,520 and be this best possible version of myself. 321 00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:04,610 And what happened? 322 00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,280 I couldn't. 323 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,570 I wasn't the person I thought I was. 324 00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:11,820 I'd love to stay and wallow with you, but I gotta head out. 325 00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:15,870 Today we're filming what used to be the scene where Secretariat commits suicide, 326 00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:18,370 but is now a scene where he swims in a fishing hole 327 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:21,080 -with his girlfriend "Susie Side." -Yeesh. 328 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:24,340 If you wanna blow off work, I'm probably just gonna sit on the couch, 329 00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:27,050 drink beer, and watch old episodes of Horsin' Around. 330 00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:27,960 Hmm. 331 00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:29,220 [audience laughs] 332 00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,510 And if I hear one more peep out of you-- 333 00:15:31,590 --> 00:15:33,390 -[crashing] -[audience laughs] 334 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,890 -Sabrina! -[Sabrina] What? I didn't peep! 335 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,850 Oh! 336 00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:40,190 [audience applauding] 337 00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,650 Sabrina was such a little bitch. 338 00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:45,190 She was an orphan. She had a tough life. 339 00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:48,820 Hey, Diane, you're still here. And BoJack is here. 340 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,070 Did you go to work today? 341 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,780 I was gonna, but then I remembered everything is garbage, 342 00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:54,200 so why bother doing anything? 343 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,490 -True story. -Okay. 344 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,450 [the horse] Oh, you didn't. 345 00:15:58,540 --> 00:15:59,710 [audience laughing] 346 00:15:59,790 --> 00:16:01,710 Oh, you did. 347 00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:03,330 [sitcom theme plays over TV] 348 00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,840 -Hello. -Hey, could you get the door? 349 00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:10,630 -Whoa. -Mm. 350 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,470 The property's gonna be ready in June. Gives us two months 351 00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:15,550 to get everything we need out of this place. 352 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,470 Mm. Perfect. 353 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,520 Just so you know, I had to register the corporation in your name. 354 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,600 -What? -Just until the divorce is finalized. 355 00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,980 Katie's lawyers are watching me closely right now. 356 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:24,980 They're hawks. 357 00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:27,190 I mean, not literally. Well, one literally. 358 00:16:27,270 --> 00:16:29,230 Know what, actually, he might be a falcon. 359 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,440 Rutabaga, this is too-- 360 00:16:30,530 --> 00:16:32,910 This is a temporary technicality, I promise. 361 00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:35,570 I'm not gonna leave you holding the bag. Okay? 362 00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:36,490 Mm. Mm. 363 00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:39,160 Hey, your assistant wasn't out there, so I just-- Ooh. 364 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,000 -Oh, hello. -Look at this urn. 365 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,790 What's going on in here? 366 00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,500 Mr. Peanutbutter, shut the door. 367 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:49,880 Rutabaga and I are starting a new agency, and we want you to come with us. 368 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,130 Well, well, well, what delicious irony. 369 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:56,510 It appears the cat is chasing the dog. 370 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,680 Are you in or out? 371 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,680 Are you kidding? 372 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,850 You're the agent who got me Hollywoo Stars and Celebrities. 373 00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:03,270 -Well-- -What do they know? 374 00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:04,900 -Right, so-- -Do they know things? 375 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,270 -Okay-- -Let's find out. 376 00:17:06,350 --> 00:17:07,690 -Right-- -Big fan. 377 00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:08,980 I like you guys. 378 00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:11,650 I like your hustle and I like your matching lipstick. 379 00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,190 -Well, um-- -I am in. 380 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,360 Mm-hm. 381 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,080 Go home, Goober. 382 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,290 Yeah! Go home, Goober! 383 00:17:20,370 --> 00:17:23,250 [coughs] Goober sucks. Why doesn't he ever go home? 384 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,370 Yeah, Goober's the one who should go home. 385 00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:27,670 -You suck, Goober! -Hey, Goober! Get murdered! 386 00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:30,170 Go sit on a sharp dick, you piece of shit. 387 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:32,920 -Hey, guys. -Shut up, Todd. 388 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,380 BoJack, listen, I-- Oh! 389 00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:37,760 -Hey, whoa! -Boo! Party foul! 390 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,010 -You knocked over Bucking-can Palace. -Come on! 391 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,930 Uh, sorry, I'll clean that up later. 392 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:45,560 Listen to this guy, "clean it up later." Hasn't picked up his shit in years. 393 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:46,900 Clean up your shit, Todd. 394 00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:51,690 BoJack, I wanted to invite you to my graduation show tomorrow night. 395 00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:53,690 -What? -Look, I know you think 396 00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:56,910 it's just a dumb cult, but you're my best friend 397 00:17:57,070 --> 00:17:59,620 and it would really mean a lot if you came. 398 00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:04,330 [groans] I'm gonna go down to the basement to practice my space work. 399 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:08,500 And here I am going downstairs. 400 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,750 [cell phone ringing] 401 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:11,670 Hello? 402 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,800 -What kind of pants are you wearing now? -What? I don't know. The normal kind. 403 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,760 Yeah? Mm. Are they comfy? A comfy pair of pants? 404 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,390 I guess. Why? 405 00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,810 Just wondering what kind of hit you're gonna take 406 00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:26,270 when the studio sues the pants off you for breach of contract. 407 00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:29,100 They're suing me? Also, are you wearing comfortable shoes? 408 00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,360 Because that was a long road to walk to get to that punch line. 409 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,730 -This is serious. -We're not just doing bits? 410 00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,490 You started it with the pants thing. 411 00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:39,110 You need to go back to set. You can't just not go to work. 412 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,110 [sighs] 413 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,330 Remember, you wanted this. 414 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:49,290 Are you saying you're finally ready to settle down with yours truly? 415 00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:51,880 Darn tootin'. I may be a professional racehorse, 416 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,630 but I'm tired of running in circles. 417 00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:54,550 [Abe] Cut! 418 00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:57,260 Perfect. But let's get that last part again. 419 00:18:57,420 --> 00:19:02,390 -Anything you want me to do differently? -No, I just think we should get it again. 420 00:19:02,470 --> 00:19:04,260 You know, for safety. 421 00:19:04,350 --> 00:19:07,140 -Action! -I'm tired of running in circles. 422 00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:08,810 [slurps] And again? 423 00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,560 I'm tired of running in circles. 424 00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:13,150 Why don't we get it like five more times? 425 00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:15,150 I'm tired of running in circles. 426 00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:17,360 I'm tired of running in circles. 427 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,570 I'm tired of running in circles. 428 00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:21,780 I'm tired of running in circles. 429 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,830 I'm tired of running in circles. 430 00:19:23,910 --> 00:19:26,080 [Abe] Let's get it ten more times. 431 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,160 [sighs] 432 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,710 -Ta-da! -We did it. 433 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:35,090 -What now? -We die, have our guts ripped out 434 00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:38,090 through our noses, and get enshrined inside of it. Duh. 435 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,260 Hey, BoJack, can I talk to you for a minute? 436 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:42,470 Ooh... 437 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,680 Alone, please? 438 00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,560 Oh... 439 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,890 So, good news. We're gonna go on a trip. 440 00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:50,350 -Right now. You and me. -What? 441 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,440 I booked us a room for the weekend. Pack your bags, let's go. 442 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:54,690 Where? Why? 443 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,070 Less asking, more basking. 444 00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:58,280 In the sun, that is. Santa Barbara. 445 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,990 -I'm not really in the mood for-- -I think some time away 446 00:20:01,070 --> 00:20:03,570 could be really good for us, as a couple. 447 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:04,530 Oh. 448 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:07,240 I know you've been really bummed out about the movie, 449 00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:11,250 but I don't think moping around the house with Diane all day is healthy. 450 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,000 All I've ever wanted was to be in this movie, 451 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,130 and you just want me to put on a happy face-- 452 00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:18,710 Yes. There are lots of people who don't like their jobs. 453 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,010 Doesn't mean they have to bring it home with-- 454 00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:24,680 -Yeah, that's easy for you to say. -What is that supposed to mean? 455 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,970 Well, come on. You're a network executive. 456 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,720 You don't give a shit about work. 457 00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:31,560 I actually have a lot of pride in what I do. 458 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,150 What? You have a lot of pride? 459 00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:35,690 Your job is to pump out garbage every year 460 00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:38,400 hoping some of the garbage stinks less than the rest 461 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,690 so you can quietly renew that garbage and keep failing sideways 462 00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:44,410 until you retire to a three-point-five bedroom garbage 463 00:20:44,490 --> 00:20:46,240 in Beverly Garbage and spend the rest of your life 464 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:50,500 -watching your former assistant's garbage. -I don't know where this is coming from. 465 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:53,580 Every good thing that ever happened to you happened 466 00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:55,750 because of network executives like me. 467 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,880 That show you spend all day watching, your house, your career-- 468 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:02,590 Great house, great career, great life! Must be why I'm so happy all the time! 469 00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:04,090 -You don't know-- -I don't? 470 00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:07,930 My life was ruined by a network executive like you. 471 00:21:08,550 --> 00:21:11,930 Well, I'm sorry that things have been so hard for you, 472 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:15,900 but that doesn't give you the right to be shitty to me. I can't be around someone 473 00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:18,820 who's just fueled by bitterness and negativity. 474 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,400 Well then, what are you doing here? 475 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,030 What happened, BoJack? 476 00:21:24,740 --> 00:21:26,660 Same thing that always happens. 477 00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:29,700 You didn't know me. Then you fell in love with me. 478 00:21:30,410 --> 00:21:31,790 And now you know me. 479 00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:38,130 You know, it's funny. When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, 480 00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:41,000 all the red flags just look like flags. 481 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,010 -So, Wanda's moving out. -Oh, shit. Because of me? 482 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,680 No. Because of me. 483 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:55,190 I'm sorry. You wanna watch another episode of Horsin' Around? 484 00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:58,770 Where Olivia does the school project where she pretends an egg is a baby. 485 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:01,730 Spoiler alert: Ethan needs to make an omelet. 486 00:22:02,190 --> 00:22:03,740 Why won't you go home? 487 00:22:04,150 --> 00:22:06,610 I should. I know I should. 488 00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:09,700 I wish I could just go home right now and crawl into bed 489 00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:13,490 and not have to talk about anything or explain anything. 490 00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:16,580 He would just say, "How was your day?" And then he would say, 491 00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:19,670 "Hey, did you know the monorail was invented by George Monorail?" 492 00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:21,790 And I would say, "I don't think that's true." 493 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,380 And he would say, "Well, if he didn't invent it, he certainly perfected it." 494 00:22:25,460 --> 00:22:28,340 And I wouldn't have to say, "I'm sorry I left. 495 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,510 I'm sorry I made things so difficult. 496 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:34,350 I'm sorry I'm not the person I thought I was." 497 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,230 I would just say, "My day was good." 498 00:22:37,310 --> 00:22:39,850 And he would say, "I love you." 499 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,280 The longer you keep lying to him, the harder it's gonna get. 500 00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:46,490 Can I ask you something? 501 00:22:46,570 --> 00:22:50,070 That play in New York, would that really have made you happy? 502 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,160 Yeah. I mean, for a little bit. 503 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,700 And if Kelsey didn't get fired, 504 00:22:54,830 --> 00:22:57,080 and you got to make the movie you wanted to make, 505 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,750 would that have made you happy? 506 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,130 For a little bit. 507 00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:01,460 But then... 508 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,170 Probably... 509 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,210 So, what does it matter? 510 00:23:06,670 --> 00:23:09,260 But there has to be more. 511 00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:13,430 Well, when's the last time you were actually happy? 512 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,150 You microchipped my penis? Check, please! 513 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,360 [all] Microchip. 514 00:23:29,820 --> 00:23:31,030 [laughs] 515 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:32,070 Ah. 516 00:23:32,910 --> 00:23:34,200 [audience applauding] 517 00:23:35,950 --> 00:23:37,080 [sighs] 518 00:23:40,290 --> 00:23:41,920 [doorbell rings] 519 00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:44,790 Oh. 520 00:23:48,970 --> 00:23:49,880 [all] Todd! 521 00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:51,340 -[Todd groans] -[all laughing] 522 00:23:51,510 --> 00:23:53,800 [laughs] Yeah. 523 00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,390 Oh. 524 00:23:58,930 --> 00:24:00,560 Hey, Mr. Peanutbutter. 525 00:24:00,730 --> 00:24:02,350 Hey. How are you? 526 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,400 I can't do this anymore. 527 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,570 You can't do what anymore? 528 00:24:06,730 --> 00:24:09,320 I can't talk to you on the phone all the time. 529 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,610 It's too hard. 530 00:24:10,780 --> 00:24:12,530 Uh, have you tried Bluetooth? 531 00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:15,740 I think maybe we should stop calling each other, for a little bit. 532 00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:18,950 I'm sorry. I just miss you too much. 533 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:22,000 But listen, I love you. Okay? 534 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:23,250 Mr. Peanutbutter? 535 00:24:23,710 --> 00:24:26,540 Uh, yeah. Uh, okay. 536 00:24:26,630 --> 00:24:27,750 I love you, Diane. 537 00:24:29,130 --> 00:24:30,880 -Where is he? -I don't know, sir. 538 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,760 Can't do this to me. Where the hell is he? 539 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:48,020 ♪ If you come to find out who you are ♪ 540 00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:54,320 ♪ And may you find out May you find out who you are ♪ 541 00:24:56,780 --> 00:25:00,870 ♪ And if you come to search For what is love ♪ 542 00:25:02,790 --> 00:25:07,040 ♪ Then may you find it May you find it at any cost ♪ 543 00:25:09,670 --> 00:25:14,010 ♪ Go now You'll go, but don't just hide ♪ 544 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:20,060 ♪ Never leave this Never leave this town ♪ 545 00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:23,480 ♪ Of the parade ♪ 546 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:32,650 Boxer versus raptor. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.