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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM

﻿1
00:00:00,492 --> 00:00:03,840
♪ It seems today that all you see ♪

2
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♪ Is violence in
movies and sex on TV ♪

3
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♪ But where are those good
old-fashioned values ♪

4
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

5
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

6
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪

7
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♪ All the things that make us ♪

8
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪

9
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♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪

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<b>Sync and corrections by btsix
www.MY-SUBS.com</b>

11
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ANNOUNCER: We now return
to The Last Man on Earth

12
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Plus These Other 16 People with
More Showing Up Every Day.

13
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No way they'll pull this off.

14
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A show with just one character

15
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and an unlimited number
of other characters?

16
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Peter, you can't just sit
there and watch TV all day.

17
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- You have to mow the lawn.
- Aw, this sucks.

18
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I was gonna go down
to the Guitar Center

19
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and annoy people.

20
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FYI: My mom's not picking me
up for a long time, because...

21
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she's dead!

22
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Hey, Brian, you want a beer?

23
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Peter, Lois is gonna be home soon.

24
00:01:15,095 --> 00:01:16,509
Shouldn't you be mowing the lawn?

25
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I am mowing the lawn.

26
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(BLEATING)

27
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- Where'd you get these?
- Craigslist.

28
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Boy, that's got to be some long list.

29
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WOMAN: and pool tables
and jukeboxes...

30
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Craig, are you getting all this down?

31
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Yes. Is that it?

32
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No! Futons, everyone's
grandfather's golf clubs...

33
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I-Is that it?

34
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No! Gay sex...

35
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- What kind?
- All of it!

36
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I have milked all the goats.

37
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Peter, all those goats are males.

38
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Well, the buckets are full
and the goats are happy.

39
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I just hope word doesn't get around.

40
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I like good times.

41
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ANNOUNCER: We now return to Top Gun

42
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with only public domain music.

43
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(BAND PLAYS LIVELY INTRO)

44
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♪ She'll be coming 'round the
mountain when she comes ♪

45
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♪ She'll be coming
'round the mountain... ♪

46
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Oh, my God, what the hell
did the goats do in here?

47
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This place is disgusting!

48
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Where's your father?

49
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Peter!

50
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PETER (BLEATS): Lois is maaaad.

51
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Go to the Claaaam.

52
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Peter, I both saw you and
recognized my husband's voice.

53
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Go baaaack.

54
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Lois! I-I didn't know you were home.

55
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Well, I guess we can all agree
this was a great idea. The end.

56
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♪ Ba-na-na-na Family Guy... ♪

57
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Enough! My parents will
be here any minute.

58
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You better get this house cleaned up.

59
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Don't worry, Lois. I have a Roomba.

60
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(WHIRRING)

61
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Okay, wait, wait, wait a minute.

62
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It'll... it'll figure it out.

63
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It's learning. That's-that's
part of what it does.

64
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I think it's getting it.

65
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Now she's cookin'.

66
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Hang on to your hat.

67
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Clean floor dead ahead.

68
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Good purchase.

69
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Behold the future.

70
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All right, here it goes.

71
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(WHIRRING STOPS)

72
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And the battery's dead.

73
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(DOORBELL RINGS)

74
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Darling, so wonderful to be here.

75
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(CHUCKLES): Yeah, right.
The drive here is like

76
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a counterclockwise trip
around the Monopoly board.

77
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PETER (CHUCKLES): He has no paaaants.

78
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Peter, get out of there.

79
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Lois, what's going on here?

80
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Well, I asked Peter to mow the lawn.

81
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Will somebody turn off Top Gun?!

82
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(SONG STOPS)

83
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So obviously he bought a herd of goats,

84
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and now they've taken over the house.

85
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Lois, I worry this is not
a healthy environment

86
00:03:49,601 --> 00:03:51,470
- for the children.
- Mom, please.

87
00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:54,138
You know I would never put
my children in harm's way.

88
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Oh, boy. AMBER Alert.

89
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Stewie was last seen with a
goat in a '98 Toyota Tercel

90
00:03:58,543 --> 00:03:59,911
heading north on I-95.

91
00:03:59,943 --> 00:04:01,847
How do you turn those off, by the way?

92
00:04:01,879 --> 00:04:03,481
Lois, I've seen enough.

93
00:04:03,515 --> 00:04:06,918
You're completely overwhelmed,
and you have four children.

94
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(CHUCKLES) Four children.

95
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(CHUCKLES) Four children.

96
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(CHUCKLES) Four children.

97
00:04:13,488 --> 00:04:15,776
(CHUCKLES) Four children.

98
00:04:15,809 --> 00:04:17,862
(CHUCKLES) Four children.

99
00:04:17,895 --> 00:04:19,263
Hey!

100
00:04:19,297 --> 00:04:20,664
You need help, Lois.

101
00:04:20,698 --> 00:04:22,667
And since I don't believe in psychiatry,

102
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,683
I'm getting you a nanny.

103
00:04:24,717 --> 00:04:26,371
Well, I guess it would be
good to have some help

104
00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:27,463
with Meg and Chris.

105
00:04:27,497 --> 00:04:29,541
And Stewie, if he's ever found.

106
00:04:32,176 --> 00:04:34,446
Honey, do you think
that's the goat and baby

107
00:04:34,479 --> 00:04:36,948
- from the AMBER alert?
- Uh, it's a Tercel,

108
00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:39,584
but I don't think it's the right year.

109
00:04:45,323 --> 00:04:46,725
(DOORBELL RINGS)

110
00:04:46,758 --> 00:04:48,493
That must be the new nanny.

111
00:04:48,525 --> 00:04:50,494
Is this the Griffin house?

112
00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:52,898
Welcome to this work environment.

113
00:04:52,931 --> 00:04:55,300
Oh. I'm not the nanny.
I'm her Uber driver.

114
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,868
Your nanny's still in the car.

115
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,669
She dozed off on the way here.

116
00:04:58,703 --> 00:05:00,672
I not doze off, Yoober.

117
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Was looking at crinkled
photos of dead relatives.

118
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,509
Hello. I am Natalia.

119
00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:07,745
What is favorite breakfast fish?

120
00:05:07,778 --> 00:05:09,880
Well, if you must know...

121
00:05:09,914 --> 00:05:13,252
Welcome to this work environment.

122
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:21,427
Okay, Natalia, level with me.

123
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:22,795
Why are you really here?

124
00:05:22,828 --> 00:05:25,865
I have been sent to neutralize
liberal Jewish dissident,

125
00:05:25,898 --> 00:05:27,768
Fievel Mousekewitz.

126
00:05:29,802 --> 00:05:31,939
Oh. Well, the only mouse
in this neighborhood is

127
00:05:31,972 --> 00:05:33,974
our innocent neighbor, Frank Maxwell.

128
00:05:35,307 --> 00:05:37,139
Comrade Mousekewitz!

129
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,312
Did you think you could run forever?

130
00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:42,148
I, uh, I think you've
got the wrong mouse.

131
00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:44,617
I'm just regular old Frank Maxwell,

132
00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:46,787
and I'm very late for work.

133
00:05:46,819 --> 00:05:48,321
Good day, ma'am.

134
00:05:49,321 --> 00:05:50,490
(STARTS ENGINE)

135
00:05:50,523 --> 00:05:52,492
Whoa! You killed him?

136
00:05:52,525 --> 00:05:53,893
That was not me.

137
00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:55,796
Someone else got to him first.

138
00:05:56,795 --> 00:05:58,975
Tough break, Jew mouse. Ha-ha!

139
00:05:59,695 --> 00:06:00,967
Hi. I'm Peter Griffin.

140
00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:03,804
Under parody law, in order to
use someone else's character

141
00:06:03,836 --> 00:06:06,105
in an unlicensed fashion,
we have to provide

142
00:06:06,138 --> 00:06:07,674
something called "commentary."

143
00:06:07,706 --> 00:06:10,743
The commentary here is that
Mickey Mouse hates Jews.

144
00:06:10,776 --> 00:06:14,614
Now, let's see what else this
new nanny has up her sleeve.

145
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,955
Okay, Stewie, this is favorite
Belarusian children book

146
00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:25,291
called Goodnight Moon of Chernobyl.

147
00:06:25,324 --> 00:06:27,360
"Goodnight Chernobyl moon.

148
00:06:27,393 --> 00:06:30,017
Goodnight radiation house.

149
00:06:30,049 --> 00:06:32,165
Goodnight melted phone.

150
00:06:32,198 --> 00:06:34,434
Goodnight glowing milk.

151
00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:37,371
Goodnight bleeding grandpa's eyes.

152
00:06:37,403 --> 00:06:39,839
Goodnight two-headed cat.

153
00:06:39,872 --> 00:06:42,009
Goodnight nobody.

154
00:06:42,042 --> 00:06:45,946
Goodnight blocks and blocks
and blocks of nobody.

155
00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:47,780
The end."

156
00:06:47,814 --> 00:06:49,383
Next book.

157
00:06:49,415 --> 00:06:51,184
Everybody Poops...

158
00:06:51,218 --> 00:06:52,987
Blood.

159
00:06:56,665 --> 00:06:58,802
I'll get started on dinner.

160
00:07:00,969 --> 00:07:02,438
No need to start dinner.

161
00:07:02,471 --> 00:07:04,773
Homework is done. Kids are fed.

162
00:07:04,806 --> 00:07:07,299
You two should go out and
have lovely evening.

163
00:07:07,359 --> 00:07:10,496
- Together?
- Yes. Everything taken care of.

164
00:07:10,528 --> 00:07:13,126
Go out. Enjoy American freedom.

165
00:07:13,159 --> 00:07:14,439
What do you say, Peter?

166
00:07:14,472 --> 00:07:16,668
Eh, it could be fun. And
we haven't been on a date

167
00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:18,036
since I broke the Guinness record

168
00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:20,780
for longest nasal exhale
at that Tina Fey movie.

169
00:07:20,814 --> 00:07:23,843
FEY: You're the baby mama?
Well, that's no bueno.

170
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,878
(INHALES THROUGH NOSE)

171
00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:28,915
(EXHALING THROUGH NOSE)

172
00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:33,947
(CONTINUES EXHALING THROUGH NOSE)

173
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:39,992
Hello. I'm Steve.

174
00:07:40,025 --> 00:07:41,527
I'll be your server this evening.

175
00:07:41,559 --> 00:07:43,199
May I start you off with a cocktail?

176
00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:46,364
(CLEARS THROAT)

177
00:07:46,398 --> 00:07:47,799
You don't work here, do you?

178
00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:49,053
I do not.

179
00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:51,369
Oh, this is nice.

180
00:07:51,403 --> 00:07:53,039
So, how's work?

181
00:07:53,071 --> 00:07:54,540
Good.

182
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,710
How, uh...

183
00:07:57,742 --> 00:07:59,978
how's the stuff you
do during your day?

184
00:08:00,011 --> 00:08:01,680
- Good.
- Good.

185
00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:04,549
So... is that it?

186
00:08:04,583 --> 00:08:07,220
Did we do a date? Phones back on?

187
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,522
Peter, we finally have
a chance to reconnect.

188
00:08:09,554 --> 00:08:11,090
We've been given this opportunity.

189
00:08:11,122 --> 00:08:12,691
It's like before we had kids.

190
00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:14,594
We got to make the most of it.

191
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,928
H-Hang on, hang on, Lois.

192
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,331
Give me two of those round balls
of butter and a breadstick.

193
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:19,764
You'll see where I'm
heading with this.

194
00:08:19,797 --> 00:08:22,902
Okay, look, look, look.
Here's what you want.

195
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:24,904
- Here's what you got.
- (CHUCKLES)

196
00:08:24,936 --> 00:08:27,072
I'm very happy with what I got.

197
00:08:27,105 --> 00:08:30,967
Hmm. Well, maybe I can give
you half a breadstick later.

198
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,180
As long as you don't mind a
little marinara dipping sauce.

199
00:08:34,212 --> 00:08:36,441
That's absolutely disgusting.

200
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:37,749
And I love it.

201
00:08:37,782 --> 00:08:40,253
You know what? I like date night.

202
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,422
To Natalia, for making it possible.

203
00:08:43,555 --> 00:08:45,558
Pretty sure that's Steve's pee.

204
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,216
Enjoying your wine?

205
00:08:52,831 --> 00:08:55,103
Oh, what an amazing night.

206
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:58,103
I told you we could have a fun
time, just the two of us.

207
00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,106
Fun's not over yet.

208
00:09:00,138 --> 00:09:01,787
(MOANING)

209
00:09:01,821 --> 00:09:03,308
PETER: Come on, let's
get in the trunk.

210
00:09:03,341 --> 00:09:06,278
I filled it with water so
we can do it hippo-style.

211
00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:07,613
Weightlessly,

212
00:09:07,646 --> 00:09:10,282
with my feet lightly scraping
the bottom as we do it.

213
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,585
LOIS: Okay. It's kind
of sexy, I guess.

214
00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:14,453
PETER: And in the hippo tradition,

215
00:09:14,485 --> 00:09:16,788
first we must eat a
whole head of lettuce.

216
00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:20,659
- Now, do you have the lettuce?
- I-I didn't know we were doing this.

217
00:09:20,692 --> 00:09:22,294
Did you bring the lettuce?

218
00:09:22,327 --> 00:09:23,629
Oh, no, I forgot.

219
00:09:23,662 --> 00:09:25,797
Ronald, I asked you to do one thing.

220
00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:28,334
Honey, honey... I brought the lettuce.

221
00:09:33,538 --> 00:09:34,939
So thanks to Natalia,

222
00:09:34,973 --> 00:09:37,143
we've been spending so
much more time together.

223
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,612
Let me tell you, Joe, it's
really been a rediscovery.

224
00:09:39,644 --> 00:09:41,687
- Hmm.
- Joe, "we time"

225
00:09:41,721 --> 00:09:44,557
- is just as important as "me time."
- Okay.

226
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,918
We've actually been watching
The Middle together.

227
00:09:46,951 --> 00:09:49,964
It's so funny! Isn't it funny, Peter?

228
00:09:49,997 --> 00:09:51,990
It is actually funny. At
least three times an episode

229
00:09:52,023 --> 00:09:53,993
we turn to each other and we say,

230
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:55,695
BOTH: "That's just like us!"

231
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:57,162
- (LAUGHING)
- (LAUGHS)

232
00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:58,531
Why are you laughing?

233
00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:01,032
- It sounded funny.
- But you had to be there.

234
00:10:01,066 --> 00:10:03,369
Well, I was able to
imagine myself there,

235
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,104
which is why I chuckled.

236
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:07,440
Oh, and, Donna, have you
seen this Black-ish?

237
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,508
- Why are you asking me that?
- I don't know.

238
00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:11,609
It seems like you might like it.

239
00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:14,887
Oh, and, waiter, have you
seen this Fresh Off the Boat?

240
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,816
- Why are you asking me that?
- I don't know.

241
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:18,517
It seems like you might like it.

242
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:19,719
Oh, there's Mort. Mort!

243
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,188
Have you seen this The Goldbergs?

244
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,609
MORT: Yes! I like it
'cause I'm Jewish.

245
00:10:27,759 --> 00:10:30,781
Boy, our friends all seem
to be happily married.

246
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,666
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Yeah, right.

247
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:35,334
You know, Donna told
me in the bathroom

248
00:10:35,366 --> 00:10:37,035
she and Cleveland haven't had sex

249
00:10:37,068 --> 00:10:38,203
in over three months.

250
00:10:38,236 --> 00:10:39,404
I love that you share things

251
00:10:39,437 --> 00:10:41,139
that were told to you in confidence.

252
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:43,642
- Oh, and the poor Swansons.
- I know.

253
00:10:43,675 --> 00:10:45,144
Joe's dead from the waist down,

254
00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,711
and Bonnie's dead from the waist up.

255
00:10:46,744 --> 00:10:48,080
They're perfect for each other.

256
00:10:48,113 --> 00:10:50,583
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
- I know, I know.

257
00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:52,550
I got to say, Peter,
I really feel like

258
00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:54,387
Natalia has helped put the spark back

259
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,855
in our relationship.

260
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:58,263
Yeah, we even had
independent movie sex.

261
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,327
I want to lean over this
half-eaten blueberry pie

262
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,562
and kiss you with black coffee breath.

263
00:11:04,595 --> 00:11:06,250
- Is that okay?
- Yes.

264
00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:12,171
Now, can I do you to a song you know,

265
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:13,606
but sung in German?

266
00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:18,303
♪ Icht valking un sonshine ♪

267
00:11:18,313 --> 00:11:19,844
♪ Haaa-aah ♪

268
00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:22,581
♪ Icht valking un sonshine ♪

269
00:11:22,614 --> 00:11:24,203
♪ Haaa-aah ♪

270
00:11:24,235 --> 00:11:25,750
♪ Unt it feelin das good. ♪

271
00:11:25,783 --> 00:11:27,919
(PHONE RINGING)

272
00:11:27,952 --> 00:11:31,389
Hello? I see.

273
00:11:31,422 --> 00:11:32,672
What is it?

274
00:11:32,705 --> 00:11:34,486
I've been assassinated.

275
00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:45,905
Wow, what a night.

276
00:11:45,937 --> 00:11:49,207
I guess someone's sleep number is 69.

277
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:52,610
Uh, yes. It was, apparently,
also number two.

278
00:11:52,643 --> 00:11:55,062
Would you maybe make some
coffee and give me a moment?

279
00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:58,216
Car is packed for weekend.

280
00:11:58,249 --> 00:11:59,552
- Weekend?
- Yes.

281
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,220
You come in late last night drunk

282
00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:03,756
and tell me to pack car
for weekend getaway

283
00:12:03,788 --> 00:12:05,057
you book online.

284
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:08,060
Then you make me watch
Diff'rent Strokes episode

285
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:11,732
with substitute teacher played
by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

286
00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:14,333
You know, I forgot about
this weekend trip.

287
00:12:14,365 --> 00:12:16,302
I-Is that something
we still want to do?

288
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,836
Well, I do if you do.

289
00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:20,071
Absolutely I do... I-I was
just seeing if you do.

290
00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:21,673
Of course I do.

291
00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:24,275
I mean, we've already had
six nights out together.

292
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,273
It'd be great to have three more.

293
00:12:26,306 --> 00:12:27,312
That's what I'm saying.

294
00:12:27,345 --> 00:12:28,847
That-That's what any guy wants,

295
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,616
the same gal again and again and again

296
00:12:31,649 --> 00:12:33,985
and again and again
and again and again

297
00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:36,489
and again and again
and again and again

298
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:38,424
and again and again, and again.

299
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,792
And every gal wants the
same guy who keeps

300
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:43,461
getting fatter and fatter
and fatter and fatter...

301
00:12:43,494 --> 00:12:45,297
Stop it right there, Lois.
This is Family Guy.

302
00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:47,365
We only do the male side of the joke.

303
00:12:48,341 --> 00:12:51,103
You know what? I think
this weekend will be fun.

304
00:12:51,135 --> 00:12:52,470
Yeah. I mean, it's
not like we're gonna

305
00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:54,005
miss anything around here.

306
00:12:58,409 --> 00:12:59,944
Hey, Joe, what the
hell's going on here?

307
00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:02,147
Oh, you didn't hear?
Today is the opening

308
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:05,316
of the first-ever Spooner
Street Farmers Market.

309
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,986
(IN SLOW MOTION): Farmers...

310
00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:10,688
market?

311
00:13:10,721 --> 00:13:12,357
Yeah, it's really exciting.

312
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:14,492
For 50 cents, you can
get your picture taken

313
00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:16,195
wearing a farmer's hat.

314
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:19,198
(IN SLOW MOTION): Farmer's...

315
00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:21,566
hat?

316
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,536
Hey, have a great weekend, you two.

317
00:13:23,568 --> 00:13:26,905
So glad you're finding
time for each other.

318
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:31,877
Goat meat.

319
00:13:31,909 --> 00:13:33,545
Get your goat meat here.

320
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,047
- Cleveland, are those...
- Yep.

321
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:36,882
I have dibs on whatever silliness

322
00:13:36,914 --> 00:13:38,583
Peter loses interest in.

323
00:13:38,616 --> 00:13:39,751
Remember this?

324
00:13:39,784 --> 00:13:41,920
To the Cleveland copter!

325
00:13:43,888 --> 00:13:45,990
The moustache obscures my view!

326
00:13:46,023 --> 00:13:47,092
(CRIES OUT)

327
00:13:54,881 --> 00:13:56,283
LOIS: Oh, another hawk.

328
00:13:56,317 --> 00:13:57,652
Or maybe it's the same one.

329
00:13:57,685 --> 00:13:59,153
You think it could be the same one?

330
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,241
Doubt it.

331
00:14:01,054 --> 00:14:02,322
Hey, do you have the address?

332
00:14:02,355 --> 00:14:04,158
I think it's in my
pocketbook somewhere.

333
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:06,694
'Cause I got to know if
we should take 24 or 495.

334
00:14:06,726 --> 00:14:08,072
Hang on.

335
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:11,225
- Anything?
- Hang on.

336
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,602
Exit's coming up.

337
00:14:14,735 --> 00:14:16,163
Half a mile.

338
00:14:18,839 --> 00:14:20,208
- Quarter mile.
- (LAUGHS)

339
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,509
You'd think I could find it.

340
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:22,877
(CHUCKLES): Yeah, yeah, I would.

341
00:14:22,909 --> 00:14:25,645
I would. Okay, I'm taking 495.

342
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:27,781
Okay, uh, here, let me see if it's...

343
00:14:27,815 --> 00:14:30,852
Oh, this is why I don't
like big purses.

344
00:14:30,884 --> 00:14:34,321
Here it is. It says take 24 to 128.

345
00:14:34,355 --> 00:14:36,157
(INHALES DEEPLY)

346
00:14:36,190 --> 00:14:38,193
(EXHALES SLOWLY)

347
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,936
(WINDSHIELD SQUEAKING)

348
00:14:49,669 --> 00:14:51,672
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

349
00:14:54,908 --> 00:14:56,244
Hey, look, cookies.

350
00:14:56,277 --> 00:14:58,046
- Chocolate chip?
- Oatmeal raisin.

351
00:14:58,078 --> 00:14:59,679
(BLEEP)

352
00:14:59,712 --> 00:15:03,083
Ah, I guess they stopped
serving dinner at 9:30.

353
00:15:03,116 --> 00:15:05,685
Looks like that missed
exit had the last laugh.

354
00:15:05,719 --> 00:15:06,988
Oh, look at this cute note.

355
00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:08,221
"In lieu of television,

356
00:15:08,254 --> 00:15:10,323
please tune in to each other."

357
00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:13,593
- Ha-ha.
- Ha-ha, indeed. And get this.

358
00:15:13,626 --> 00:15:15,729
"Sorry no Wi-Fi, but the good news is

359
00:15:15,763 --> 00:15:17,532
your marriage has four bars."

360
00:15:17,565 --> 00:15:19,933
- Terrific.
- Oh, here's another note.

361
00:15:19,966 --> 00:15:22,102
"How adorable were
those first two notes?

362
00:15:22,135 --> 00:15:23,837
I hope you read this one third."

363
00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:26,073
There's a used condom
in the fireplace.

364
00:15:26,106 --> 00:15:27,541
And the fireplace is decorative,

365
00:15:27,575 --> 00:15:28,743
so that's here to stay.

366
00:15:28,775 --> 00:15:30,243
So, do you think word just got out

367
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,846
in the daddy longlegs community, like,

368
00:15:31,879 --> 00:15:33,247
"Hey, come to this hotel"?

369
00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:34,714
Peter, it's a little warm in here.

370
00:15:34,748 --> 00:15:37,051
Do you want to turn on
that overhead ceiling fan?

371
00:15:37,084 --> 00:15:38,219
Sure. Looks stable.

372
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,091
- Can you notice that?
- Yeah.

373
00:15:43,124 --> 00:15:45,293
Can you notice anything in
the world other than that?

374
00:15:45,326 --> 00:15:48,562
Only that fist-sized moth in
the lampshade by the bed.

375
00:15:48,596 --> 00:15:51,633
I'm going to bed so that "go
home time" comes faster.

376
00:16:02,694 --> 00:16:04,765
I'll just sleep with the light on.

377
00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:12,620
Natalia, will you be
our nanny forever?

378
00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:14,821
Dah, unless Belarus security force

379
00:16:14,855 --> 00:16:16,957
- track me down.
- I'm sorry, what?

380
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:18,793
Natalia make a few enemies

381
00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:21,096
before she leave Belarus.

382
00:16:23,831 --> 00:16:26,668
(GUNSHOTS)

383
00:16:28,769 --> 00:16:31,505
Natalia save baby.

384
00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:37,979
- Brian?
- Lock door.

385
00:16:38,012 --> 00:16:39,013
Why would I... (CRIES OUT)

386
00:16:39,046 --> 00:16:40,348
Brian!

387
00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:45,353
No kissing. Under bed.

388
00:16:54,127 --> 00:16:55,127
- (BONE CRACKS)
- (CRIES OUT)

389
00:16:55,128 --> 00:16:58,365
- (BONES SNAPPING)
- Aah!

390
00:16:58,399 --> 00:17:00,802
♪ ♪

391
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:04,172
Out.

392
00:17:06,906 --> 00:17:08,175
Boy, that was a close one.

393
00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:10,211
Ah, my son was in the backseat.

394
00:17:23,022 --> 00:17:24,759
(TIRES SCREECHING)

395
00:17:40,941 --> 00:17:42,410
(ENGINE REVVING)

396
00:17:45,778 --> 00:17:48,782
(HEARTBEAT POUNDING)

397
00:17:56,222 --> 00:17:57,591
(TIRES SCREECH)

398
00:17:58,625 --> 00:17:59,927
Daddy?

399
00:18:03,896 --> 00:18:05,098
(GUNFIRE)

400
00:18:09,236 --> 00:18:10,403
Where are we going?

401
00:18:10,436 --> 00:18:11,838
You're going home.

402
00:18:11,872 --> 00:18:13,742
Count to three and pull cord.

403
00:18:13,956 --> 00:18:15,910
(SHOUTING)

404
00:18:15,942 --> 00:18:19,047
I don't know my numbers!

405
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:28,040
Again! Again!

406
00:18:33,626 --> 00:18:36,596
(SALIVA SMACKING)

407
00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:38,532
- Oh. This.
- What?

408
00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:40,067
That mealy-mouth thing you do.

409
00:18:40,099 --> 00:18:41,201
Take a sip of water.

410
00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:42,869
I don't like water. I like pop.

411
00:18:42,903 --> 00:18:44,471
Hey, will you let me
know when you're done

412
00:18:44,505 --> 00:18:46,107
using the phone charger
that I brought?

413
00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,775
Oh, you mean the only
thing that you packed?

414
00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:49,442
Yeah, I just assumed if you pay,

415
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,112
- you don't have to pack.
- Here we go.

416
00:18:51,144 --> 00:18:52,445
My husband, the Rockefeller,

417
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,448
letting my parents pay for the nanny.

418
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,950
Kids still lining up around the block

419
00:18:55,982 --> 00:18:57,250
for those piano lessons?

420
00:18:57,284 --> 00:18:58,786
I wonder which has more clutter on it,

421
00:18:58,818 --> 00:19:00,086
the piano or your treadmill.

422
00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:01,488
You know what? I'm gonna
go with the treadmill.

423
00:19:01,521 --> 00:19:04,090
Really? Let's go knock on
the door of the next room

424
00:19:04,124 --> 00:19:05,925
and ask them which one of us is fat.

425
00:19:05,959 --> 00:19:08,262
Oh, I'm so sorry I'm
not Bradley Hooper.

426
00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:09,563
It's Cooper, not Hooper.

427
00:19:09,596 --> 00:19:11,731
You're thinking of Mr.
Hooper from Sesame Street,

428
00:19:11,765 --> 00:19:13,067
and I'd sooner bang him.

429
00:19:13,099 --> 00:19:15,502
He was a business owner.
He was a successful man.

430
00:19:15,536 --> 00:19:17,404
You think you're the only
one in this relationship

431
00:19:17,438 --> 00:19:19,006
who wants to be with a successful man?

432
00:19:19,038 --> 00:19:20,049
Get over yourself.

433
00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,509
Oh, hey, do you want these
spit droplets back,

434
00:19:21,541 --> 00:19:22,809
Or are they for my arm to keep?

435
00:19:22,843 --> 00:19:25,112
Sorry, I was trying to scare
that fly on your hand.

436
00:19:25,144 --> 00:19:26,513
Oh, it's a liver spot. Never mind.

437
00:19:26,547 --> 00:19:29,032
I'm hoping it's cancer.
I want the ticket out.

438
00:19:29,065 --> 00:19:31,018
Oh, if you die, can I
have all of your nothing?

439
00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:32,485
What do you mean if I die?

440
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,855
I've been dead since the
minute I said "I do"!

441
00:19:34,887 --> 00:19:36,323
Well, the minute you say "I don't,"

442
00:19:36,356 --> 00:19:37,590
I am out that door.

443
00:19:37,624 --> 00:19:40,193
- Oh, is that right?
- Yep.

444
00:19:40,227 --> 00:19:42,496
Well, what if I just said,
"The hell with it, go"?

445
00:19:42,528 --> 00:19:43,680
What if you did?

446
00:19:45,201 --> 00:19:46,333
Go.

447
00:19:46,708 --> 00:19:48,061
Fine!

448
00:19:48,201 --> 00:19:50,171
("SO FAR AWAY" BY CAROLE KING PLAYING)

449
00:19:50,203 --> 00:19:53,956
♪ ♪

450
00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:57,878
♪ So far away ♪

451
00:19:57,911 --> 00:20:00,147
♪ Doesn't anybody stay ♪

452
00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:03,518
♪ In one place anymore? ♪

453
00:20:04,751 --> 00:20:06,854
♪ It would be so fine ♪

454
00:20:06,886 --> 00:20:10,825
♪ To see your face at my door ♪

455
00:20:10,857 --> 00:20:13,860
♪ It doesn't help to know ♪

456
00:20:13,894 --> 00:20:17,832
♪ You're just time away ♪

457
00:20:17,865 --> 00:20:21,501
♪ Long ago I reached for you ♪

458
00:20:21,535 --> 00:20:25,038
♪ And there you stood ♪

459
00:20:25,072 --> 00:20:28,342
♪ Holding you again could only ♪

460
00:20:28,374 --> 00:20:31,679
♪ Do me good ♪

461
00:20:31,711 --> 00:20:33,814
♪ How I wish I could ♪

462
00:20:33,846 --> 00:20:35,482
♪ But you're so ♪

463
00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:38,052
♪ Far ♪

464
00:20:38,085 --> 00:20:40,587
♪ Away. ♪

465
00:20:42,422 --> 00:20:44,025
So, how was the trip?

466
00:20:45,472 --> 00:20:47,475
(BOTH LAUGHING)

467
00:20:47,989 --> 00:20:52,055
<b>Sync and corrections by btsix
www.MY-SUBS.com</b>

468
00:20:52,432 --> 00:20:53,468
PETER: Just terrible.


