1 00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,337 MALCOLM: Bottom of the ninth. 2 00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:05,639 Two outs, man on first. 3 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:06,907 The windup... 4 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:08,876 The pitch... 5 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,714 Uh-oh. 6 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,316 Oh, man, we're so dead. 7 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,650 That's it. Game over. 8 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:17,751 Yeah. 9 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,653 So I win. What?! 10 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,689 Past the lamp is a home run. 11 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:22,823 Two men scored. 12 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:23,757 That was a foul ball. 13 00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:24,758 Are you crazy? 14 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:25,926 It went right down the line. 15 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,561 It was foul. Shut up. 16 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,996 You're home plate. You don't get a vote. 17 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,031 And it was fair. Do over. 18 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:32,400 Fine by me. 19 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,906 Oh, crap! 20 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,007 Now we really have to quit. 21 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,042 Yeah, but that was a triple. 22 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,744 Get back up there. 23 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,016 * Yes, no, maybe 24 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,519 * I don't know 25 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,855 * Can you repeat the question? 26 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,125 * You're not the boss of me now * 27 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,527 * You're not the boss of me now * 28 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,895 * You're not the boss of me now * 29 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,964 * And you're not so big 30 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:06,467 * You're not the boss of me now * 31 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,469 * You're not the boss of me now * 32 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,971 * You're not the boss of me now * 33 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,774 * And you're not so big 34 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:18,078 * Life is unfair. 35 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,620 The thing about playing 36 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,389 at Stevie Kenarban's house is 37 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,891 he has every one of my favorite video games 38 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,593 from when I was four. 39 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:36,397 End of... the rainbow. 40 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,965 I win... 41 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,933 the gold. 42 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,001 Don't you have something 43 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,803 with a little bit more violence in it? 44 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:45,673 Fishing... for Fishies. 45 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,475 Sometimes... 46 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,109 he drowns. 47 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,311 Boys! 48 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,979 I've got snacks. 49 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,114 Hands. 50 00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:59,820 Now... who wants applesauce? 51 00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:00,954 I do. 52 00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:03,324 Stevie, there is no need to use your outdoor voice. 53 00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,458 And I've got some cinnamon 54 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,027 if you guys are feeling a little crazy. 55 00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,697 Feeling... crazy? 56 00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:10,663 A little. 57 00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,166 (horn honking) 58 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,534 That's my mom. 59 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,169 Oh, well, she always honks. 60 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,605 Tell her she's welcome to come in anytime. 61 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,039 We're not going to bite. 62 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,140 It's not personal. 63 00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,442 I think she just likes honking. 64 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,643 LOIS: Malcolm! 65 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,144 Well, you'd better get going. 66 00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:25,279 I mean, you don't want to make her mad. 67 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,214 She's always mad. 68 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:27,181 Malcolm, I mean it! 69 00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:28,349 I have ice cream melting! 70 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,983 Here's your... Oh, no, no, no. 71 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,118 Eat it in the car. 72 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,386 Eat it in the car. 73 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,723 (phone ringing) 74 00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,027 Oops. 75 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:41,061 Jerk. 76 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,197 You looked. 77 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:45,065 Ow! 78 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,500 We're doing this new thing 79 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:47,701 called the circle game. 80 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,837 Basically, if you can make the other guy 81 00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,306 look at your hand while you're doing this... 82 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,675 below your waist, you get to hit them in the arm. 83 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,044 It's stupid, but, hey-- you get to hit people. 84 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,178 Barn door's open. 85 00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,079 Huh? 86 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,516 Aah! 87 00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,717 Boys. 88 00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:05,018 That was Kitty Kenarban. 89 00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,221 She wants to go out for dinner. 90 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:08,989 That sounds like fun. Good for you, dear. 91 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,491 She meant the whole family. 92 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,425 Oh. 93 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:12,426 MALCOLM: Mom, I don't think 94 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:13,661 that's really a good idea. 95 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:14,862 I mean, the Kenarbans 96 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:17,731 are kind of... well, boring. 97 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,533 They're refined, Malcolm, 98 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:20,734 and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world 99 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,036 if some of their manners rubbed off on you boys. 100 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,872 I just don't think you guys would get along with them. 101 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,206 Don't be silly. 102 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,776 I think it's nice she's asking us out to dinner. 103 00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,745 It's been a long time since anyone invited us anywhere. 104 00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,781 I wonder why that is. 105 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,749 I think I see some hungry seals. 106 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:38,252 (boys barking like seals) 107 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:41,121 (barking) 108 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,465 Cadets... 109 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:55,969 as you know, I don't often reveal my... personal side, 110 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:59,239 but after 20 years of separation, 111 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:04,211 my mother has agreed to visit with me this weekend. 112 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,213 She is a very demanding woman, 113 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,916 and I haven't seen her for a long time. 114 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:13,887 I want things to go well. 115 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:18,492 That means I will have no time for antics, shenanigans, 116 00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:20,793 hooliganism or tomfoolery. 117 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,963 There will be no problems 118 00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:27,234 which take me away from time with Mother. 119 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,838 This is important to me, which makes it... 120 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,473 CADETS: Important to us. 121 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,007 So it is crystal clear. 122 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,610 I will not be disturbed this weekend. 123 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,112 CADETS: Yes, sir! 124 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:40,448 As you were. 125 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,284 Whoa, he sounds pretty serious. 126 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,787 Yeah. What time you want to start the party? 127 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,322 Hmm? What are you talking about? 128 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,624 Didn't you hear what Spangler just said? 129 00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,193 All I heard was he's going to be too busy 130 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,262 with his mother to pay us any attention. 131 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,665 What kind of party did you have in mind? 132 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,866 Oh, I don't know. 133 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,834 I'm sure I can come up with something 134 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:02,403 that we'll all find amusing. 135 00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,026 Well, howdy, girls. 136 00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,028 I couldn't help but notice you all 137 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,863 hanging out here by the fence 138 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,131 for the last six months. 139 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,534 Would you like to come to a party tomorrow night? 140 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,303 Wh... you're going to let us come inside? 141 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,871 (giggles) 142 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,674 Oh, well, sure, that'd be the neighborly thing to do. 143 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:45,212 I would kill or die to go to your party. 144 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,881 Seriously-- kill or die. 145 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,583 Well, that's the spirit. 146 00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:51,351 Okay, I'll take you 147 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,387 and you and you 148 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,388 and you. 149 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:55,523 Wait a minute. 150 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,090 Isn't this kind of degrading? 151 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,559 Okay, not you 152 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,594 and you and you... 153 00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,265 I want to eat that one and that one. 154 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:06,734 Oh, and those two. 155 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,101 Isn't this nice? 156 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,538 No pirate themes. 157 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:14,542 No ball pits filled with screaming children. 158 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,577 Hal, look. 159 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:19,112 "Please wait to be seated." 160 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,080 Look, a dollar. 161 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,148 Oh, it's mine. 162 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:27,287 Damn. I never fall for that amateur stuff. 163 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,724 Now, I am going to say this once and only once. 164 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,560 We are with respectable people tonight. 165 00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,528 You are to be well mannered and act civilized, 166 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,630 or so help me, I'll wring your little necks, you hear me? 167 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:42,069 Okay, here's the plan if we want to ditch out of this thing. 168 00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,303 At the beginning, I'll say that I think 169 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:44,605 I might be coming down with something... 170 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,540 Hal, I don't want to ditch out of this. 171 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,775 I'm looking forward to it. 172 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,209 The Kenarbans are nice people, 173 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,978 and they want to be friends with us. 174 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,780 So you're-you're saying I'm on my own here. 175 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:53,781 Yoo-hoo, hi there. 176 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,483 Hello. 177 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,249 Abe. 178 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,618 Hal. I think I might 179 00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,587 be coming down with something. 180 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,421 Sorry we're late-- some jackass 181 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,757 parked in the handicapped space. 182 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,628 Oh, huh, huh. 183 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,730 Why don't you guys get seated and I-I... 184 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,765 I got to get something out of the car. 185 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,734 I'll just be a... 186 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:17,638 (dance music playing) 187 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,139 (girls cheering) 188 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,944 Why didn't we think of doing this sooner? 189 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,151 Don't you think they're getting a little loud? 190 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:34,054 Spangler's only two buildings over. 191 00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:36,289 Uh... ladies. 192 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,358 This is all great, but if we could just 193 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,893 take it down a teensy bit. 194 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,496 Whoo! I marked him, girl! 195 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:43,697 He's mine! 196 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,398 (girls cheering loudly) 197 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,370 Now, remember, 198 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,339 no throwing ice. 199 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,274 No flicking butter at the ceiling. 200 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,009 No sticking gum under the table 201 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,311 and no eating gum already stuck under the table. 202 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,648 Keep your voices down. 203 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,550 You are warned. 204 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,817 You look very nice, Stevie. 205 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,387 Oh, great. 206 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,656 Who spilled? 207 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,391 Aw. 208 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,459 Ow. 209 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,294 Circle game? 210 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,130 I want to... play. 211 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,331 I don't know, Stevie. 212 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,867 It's... it's pretty rough. 213 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,468 Oh, come on, quit babying him. 214 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,236 If he wants to play, let him play. 215 00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,205 Now, remember, Stevie, don't look at this... 216 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,841 ...uh... or this. 217 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:35,182 He's... good. 218 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,087 Well, this is nice. 219 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,422 I've been looking forward to this for a long time. 220 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:44,391 I don't know why we didn't do this sooner. 221 00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,059 (laughs) 222 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:50,998 Do I feel flush? 223 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,499 No. 224 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,935 Would anyone like a drink before you order? 225 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:55,936 Oh, yeah. 226 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,405 Uh, he'll have a diet soda. 227 00:08:58,438 --> 00:08:59,406 And you, sir? 228 00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:00,741 Uh... 229 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,509 what the heck-- lemonade. 230 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,744 I'll have an iced tea. 231 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,345 Sorry, we're out. 232 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,447 Oh, uh, well, then, I'll have a... 233 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,216 Wait a minute-- what's that guy having? 234 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,185 That's hot tea. 235 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,386 This is ridiculous. 236 00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,188 You have tea, you have ice. 237 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:16,590 Make her some iced tea. 238 00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:17,958 Oh, no, no, no, that is fine. 239 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,126 I would love a hot tea. 240 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:31,404 Wow. 241 00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:34,241 This is really nice. 242 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,413 Well, I have to use the restroom. 243 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:50,323 I think I also need to use the restroom. 244 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,502 (girls screaming) 245 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,905 Girls! You've got to be quiet! Please! 246 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,139 (girls screaming) 247 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,278 (music stops) 248 00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,413 GIRLS: * You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals * 249 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,784 * So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel! * 250 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,418 (cheering) 251 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,987 Way to go, Francis. 252 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,956 Hey, I promised you girls-- not quality girls. 253 00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:23,991 Wow! 254 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,325 (girls screaming) 255 00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:30,664 Well, gentlemen-- 256 00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:32,499 I've had enough experience with debacles 257 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,034 to know when to cut your losses. 258 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,969 It's time to get Spangler. 259 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:38,138 No. Come on, we're not wusses. 260 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,007 We can handle this ourselves. 261 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,776 I'm going to put a stop to this right now. 262 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,778 All right, girls, party's over. 263 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,046 (girls screaming) 264 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,380 Help! Mama! 265 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:50,183 They're seeing my underpants. 266 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,551 Help! 267 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,735 (vicious yell) 268 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:11,538 Nice... one. 269 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:12,572 Stevie, quit the game. 270 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:13,907 You're just getting punched. 271 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,242 You haven't gotten us once. 272 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,044 Oh, yeah? 273 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,378 Then how come... 274 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,548 you saw... 275 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,183 this? 276 00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,487 Damn. 277 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,491 I swear, Hal, you said, "I feel flushed" 278 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,894 five seconds before I was about to. Oh, yeah? 279 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,329 (Reese grunts viciously) Salud. 280 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:40,167 Look at us now-- two grown men 281 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,836 having to sneak off from their wives just to have a drink. 282 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:45,572 How sad. Nah, no, no. 283 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,707 It's really not like that with me and Kitty. 284 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,843 Sure, I might let her think she's in charge, 285 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,045 but when it comes down to the important stuff, 286 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,380 Daddy rules the roost. 287 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,883 Oh, hi, Kitty. 288 00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,586 I got you! (laughing) 289 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,955 (both laughing) I did. 290 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,090 To being whipped. 291 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,224 Like butter, my friend. 292 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:06,359 (Reese grunts viciously) 293 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,162 Kitty. 294 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,303 Where are those guys? 295 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,372 Hal probably dragged Abe over to the bar. 296 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,874 You know, if he's drunk, so help me... 297 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:22,075 Oh, no-no-no. It's okay. 298 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:25,678 Gives us a chance to talk. 299 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,250 Here we are-- diet soda... 300 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,252 lemonade... 301 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,486 and cranberry juice. 302 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,723 Thank you. Cranberry juice? 303 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,591 After all that static he gave you about ordering tea, 304 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:39,993 he gives you cranberry juice? 305 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,628 Excuse me? No-no-no, 306 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:42,395 it's fine. 307 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,563 Something wrong? 308 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:45,132 Yes. My friend ordered tea 309 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,500 and you've brought her cranberry juice. 310 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,269 I don't think so. 311 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,603 Instead of arguing with me, why don't you 312 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,139 just march back to the kitchen and make... 313 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,307 No-no-no. I like cranberry juice. 314 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,877 Very healthy for you. Mmm... 315 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,782 MALCOLM: Hey, Reese, that's enough! 316 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,251 This isn't funny anymore. 317 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,618 Okay, okay. 318 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,287 Man, look what your shoulders did 319 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,455 to my knuckles. 320 00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:15,762 I'll get you when I come back. 321 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,598 I even knew... 322 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,800 he was going... 323 00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:22,135 to do that. 324 00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:24,271 She won't let me 325 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,307 have butter on my bread-- butter. 326 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:30,477 I haven't eaten the stuff in ten years. 327 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:33,680 How'd this happen? 328 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,548 We weren't always this way. 329 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:36,816 Actually, I was. 330 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:37,951 Classic story-- 331 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:41,521 raised by a grandmother and four spinster aunts. 332 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,824 I used to wash their hair on Saturday nights. 333 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:47,727 You poor bastard, you never had a chance. 334 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,764 Damn it... enough is enough! 335 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,513 (gasps) 336 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,448 You go, Abe! 337 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,353 Go! Go! Go! 338 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,864 Sir? 339 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,199 SPANGLER: Go away! 340 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,401 I told you I did not want to be disturbed. 341 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:31,071 My aunt and I are... catching up. 342 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:34,975 I... I thought you said it was your mother, sir. 343 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,744 Go away! 344 00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,112 I wish I could, sir, 345 00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:41,014 but we have a bit of a situation. 346 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:43,050 See, we decided to have this party 347 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,451 and it kind of got out of hand... 348 00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:45,718 I don't care, cadet. 349 00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,787 I will deal with it in the morning. Yeah, but... 350 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,122 In the morning! 351 00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:51,758 It's just that we invited some of the local girls... 352 00:14:51,791 --> 00:14:52,993 Local girls?! 353 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,931 There are local girls inside the perimeter? 354 00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:59,232 Have they killed anyone? 355 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,433 N-No, sir, 356 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,569 but I saw one of them eat a raw chicken whole. 357 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:06,273 WOMAN: Spangy. Uh... just a minute... Mother. 358 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:08,641 Do you have any idea what you have done? 359 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:11,044 Marlin Academy cannot exist 360 00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,813 without the support, the goodwill and cooperation 361 00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,282 of the local community. 362 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,749 The police chief and the mayor 363 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,418 both sit on our board of governors! 364 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,320 The fire chief is a regent! 365 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:24,124 And right now their psychotic offspring are in there 366 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,626 tearing up the floorboards! 367 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,829 It won't be long before they're in the air ducts. 368 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:31,731 What are we going to do, sir? 369 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:35,135 We are going to do what any self-respecting member of society does 370 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,005 in a situation like this-- we're going to keep it quiet. 371 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,406 But they're destroying the school. 372 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,441 Let's hope that's all they do, cadet. 373 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,476 I'm afraid this is like an oil fire-- 374 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,412 we have to let it burn itself out. 375 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,548 Oh, yeah, I forgot-- one of them started an oil fire. 376 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,522 So... 377 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,824 did you see any good movies lately? 378 00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,127 Well, we just saw Les Amants du Pont-Neuf. 379 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,261 Did you see it? 380 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,196 No. 381 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,099 Last movie I saw was 382 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,835 The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes on cable. 383 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,504 Oh, my God! Kurt Russell! Yes. 384 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,940 Oh, I had such a crush on him in those Disney films. 385 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,876 I did, too-- especially in Now You See It... 386 00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:18,145 BOTH: Now You Don't! 387 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,879 Oh, God... Oh, he was so cute. 388 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,649 Did you see The Strongest Man in the World? About 50 times. 389 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:26,453 Oh, my God! I just wanted to reach out and grab that tush. 390 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,288 I am so terrible. 391 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,023 (both laughing) 392 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:32,059 Seriously, this has got to stop. 393 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,194 I'm actually starting to feel bad 394 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:37,364 and plus... I'm kind of getting bored creatively. 395 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:39,666 Oh, my God! 396 00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:41,234 Is that a snake? Stevie, don't. 397 00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:43,070 REESE: Sucker. 398 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,306 Snake... 399 00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,940 I'm an idiot. 400 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,515 (Lois and Kitty laughing) 401 00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,919 Oh... Oh... 402 00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:02,155 I'm so glad we decided to have this dinner. 403 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,824 So am I. I feel so much better now. 404 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,593 Better? 405 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,194 About you and your family. 406 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,695 What? 407 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,098 A-A-About Malcolm and Stevie 408 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,099 because they spend so much time together, 409 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,268 and now that we've gotten to know each other, 410 00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:16,336 I just feel better. 411 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,105 Wait a minute. 412 00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:20,272 You mean this wasn't about you wanting to be friends? 413 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,407 Yes, it was. 414 00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,109 No, it wasn't. 415 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,444 You were checking us out. 416 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,180 You wanted to see if we were good enough for your family. 417 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,216 No, no, no. I-I wouldn't put it that way. 418 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:32,219 I would, because that's what you're doing. 419 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,087 How dare you! 420 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:35,388 You can't judge us. 421 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,523 You know, 422 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:38,391 you are not so perfect yourself, lady. 423 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:41,128 Hell, you are one of the most uptight, repressed people 424 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,395 I've ever met in my life. 425 00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:46,032 Did you know that Kurt Russell was the jungle boy 426 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,067 on Gilligan's Island? 427 00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,302 Don't change the subject. 428 00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,370 We're having an argument here. 429 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,438 I yell at you; you yell at me-- 430 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,405 that's what you do. 431 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:53,473 What's wrong with you? 432 00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:54,941 Whatever you say is wrong with me 433 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,209 is what's wrong with me. 434 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,310 There-- problem solved. 435 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,911 (chuckles nervously) 436 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,258 (groans softly) 437 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:17,164 Okay, that's just freaky. 438 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,399 REESE: Hey, I'm getting good with my left. 439 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,633 Thanks, Stevie. 440 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,571 I... give up. 441 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,005 I'm going to... 442 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:28,107 the car. 443 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,915 (crying softly) 444 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,284 Way to go, Reese. 445 00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:38,985 Aw, geez! 446 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:50,197 Crying on... command... 447 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,132 got me... a cable modem. 448 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,435 You have a real problem. 449 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:56,536 Have you never yelled at anyone 450 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,770 in your entire life? 451 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,439 I just don't see what it accomplishes. 452 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,607 Are you kidding? 453 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,442 Most of the time, if you're not yelling, 454 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,710 they're not listening. 455 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,379 Lois, our situation is difficult enough 456 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:10,450 without me adding a bunch of negativity to it. 457 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,985 What situation? You mean Stevie? 458 00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,388 He's fine! He's not going to wither away 459 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:18,325 because you blow off steam every once in a while. 460 00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,229 Hey, why don't you give both of you a break? 461 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,299 Go ahead, hit me. 462 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:27,700 Get it over with. 463 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,641 Ow... ow... 464 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,544 Let me... help you. 465 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,414 Reap... 466 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,115 the whirlwind! 467 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,485 (grunting) 468 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:49,155 Finally-- justice. 469 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,591 I mean, if he doesn't kill him. 470 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:52,792 (grunting) 471 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:58,064 Stevie, what the hell do you think you're doing?! 472 00:19:58,097 --> 00:19:59,532 You are in so much trouble! 473 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,401 This behavior is totally unacceptable. 474 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,936 We are at a restaurant-- what is wrong with you? 475 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,573 Don't you take that tone with me! 476 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,275 You just wait till we get home! 477 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,709 He bruised the bone. 478 00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,010 Oh, like you didn't deserve it. 479 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,712 Good for you! I knew you had it in you. 480 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,113 Shut your trap! 481 00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:16,449 Excuse me, would you mind please keeping it down? 482 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:17,917 Would you mind going to hell? 483 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,719 And I absolutely did order tea! 484 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:23,122 How hard is it to remember a stupid drink order, you idiot? 485 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,691 Kitty, there's going to be some changes... 486 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,226 And you-- Mr. Ho Hos in his sock drawer! 487 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,561 Who do you think you're kidding? 488 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,263 Honey, you have to pace yourself. 489 00:20:30,297 --> 00:20:31,964 And another thing, Don Juan, 490 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:33,900 there are two people in that bed! 491 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,737 You know, I really don't feel very good. 492 00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,274 And I had it with your poker nights and your idiot frien... 493 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:50,650 I think this is where they nested. 494 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:53,119 I'd say we got off lucky. 495 00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,254 This happened once before in '72-- 496 00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:59,191 we had to bulldoze the amphitheater. 497 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,231 It's Horton. 498 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,133 Hey, Horton, you okay? 499 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,436 What happened? 500 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:13,940 I've seen things, Francis... 501 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:17,477 terrible things... 502 00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:20,012 and I... I think I'm engaged. 503 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,917 Come on, children, quickly, quickly. KITTY: Those pants went 504 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,686 out of style in the '80s and they were ugly back then. 505 00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:27,987 Don't you give me that look. 506 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,255 You got a eye problem? 507 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,823 Whoa. Interesting dinner. 508 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:32,825 Stevie beat the crap out of Reese, 509 00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:34,160 his dad got drunk, 510 00:21:34,193 --> 00:21:37,196 and his mom's gone totally psycho. 511 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:39,165 Oh, my God... we're contagious. 512 00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:41,368 KITTY: ...the whole night staring at the cocktail waitress.