1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:05,337 Monica, which of all of this kitchen stuff is mine? 2 00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:07,840 This bottle opener. 3 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:11,260 - And? - And it's a magnet. 4 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,683 Look at that. 5 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,978 How weird is that? You know, you're moving in with me... 6 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,273 ...and you have the one thing I don't have. Ha, ha. 7 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:29,403 It's like, in a way, you complete me. Huh? 8 00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:33,365 - Kitchen. - What? 9 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:36,243 You complete me kitchen, matey. 10 00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:41,165 - Ross, I know what you're thinking. - What? 11 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:43,167 That she's gonna move in with you... 12 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,335 ...and then maybe fall in love with you, and then... 13 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:49,256 ...when she finds out you're already married, oh, she'll be happy. 14 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,217 You know? You're just... You're very sad. 15 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,721 Oh, my God. 16 00:00:56,931 --> 00:01:01,894 I see what this is. You are in love with Rachel. 17 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:05,230 - What? - Of course. It all adds up. 18 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,274 I mean, you're obsessed with her. It's always: 19 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,193 "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel? 20 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,487 Ross, why are you moving in with Rachel? 21 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:14,281 When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" 22 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:17,868 - You want her. - No! 23 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,036 [PHONE RINGS] 24 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,747 Uh-oh. Saved by the bell. 25 00:01:22,373 --> 00:01:23,916 Hello. 26 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,377 Hey, Rach. Aren't these candlesticks mine? 27 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:28,879 No, no, I bought those. 28 00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:32,049 - Oh, right. I forgot. - Yeah. 29 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,009 [WHISPERING] That you're a liar. 30 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:40,057 No, no, that's great. I'll be there Monday. And thank you again. 31 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,725 Okay. 32 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:45,479 Um, that was the head of the paleontology department... 33 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:49,525 ...at NYU. 34 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:53,737 Wow. What did he say? 35 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:59,284 Uh, remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate? 36 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,246 - Well, they loved it. - Well, who wouldn't? 37 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,998 I know! 38 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:09,211 Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer. 39 00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:14,007 I mean, it's temporary, but if they like me, it could lead to a full-time job. 40 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:17,678 How great would that look on the mailbox, huh? Professor Geller. 41 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,139 Yeah. Professor and Mrs. 42 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,058 And Mrs? 43 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,937 Oh, yeah, you know, you and Ross are still married. 44 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:29,815 What? 45 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,818 Just kidding. 46 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,653 [CHUCKLING] 47 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,864 Oh, God. 48 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:42,161 Saved your ass. 49 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,367 - Hey. - Hi. 50 00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:23,660 - Hey. - What's the matter? 51 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,954 Well, ahem. 52 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,248 - You know that psychic I see? - Yeah? 53 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,500 She told me that I'm gonna die this week... 54 00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,502 ...so I'm kind of bummed about that. 55 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,089 - What? - I know you don't know about readings... 56 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,218 ...but that one is pretty much the worst one you can get. 57 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,012 Phoebe, that's crazy. 58 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,805 I can't believe she'd say that to you? 59 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:45,724 Yeah, honey, you don't believe her, do you? 60 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,936 I don't know. She, you know, said that I'd have triplets... 61 00:03:49,103 --> 00:03:51,188 ...but she also said one of them would be black. 62 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,606 CHANDLER: Oh. 63 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,984 Just out of curiosity, did she tell you how you were gonna go? 64 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:59,321 No, because she didn't tell me I was gonna die till the end of the session. 65 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,032 And I was not gonna waste a whole other hour there. 66 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,909 I mean, I've only got a week left, you know? 67 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,787 I've really gotta start living now. 68 00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:12,501 - Hey, everyone. - Oh, hi. 69 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,504 - Hey. - Hey. Well, today's my first lecture... 70 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:18,632 ...and I kind of wanted to try it out on you guys. Do you mind? 71 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:22,761 No, that'd be great. 72 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,305 Okay. 73 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,642 [SIGHS AND CLEARS THROAT] 74 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,818 "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. 75 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,530 Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two..." 76 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,449 Oh, this is it. This is what's gonna kill me. 77 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:51,331 "...subcategories. The first of these subcategories is..." 78 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,125 JOEY: Um, Ross? Heh. 79 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,877 Are there, uh, naked chicks on that piece of paper? 80 00:04:58,506 --> 00:04:59,548 No. Why? 81 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,134 Well, I just never seen a guy stare so hard at paper... 82 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,844 ...that didn't have naked chicks on it. 83 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:09,433 Oh, okay. Okay. 84 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,771 "There are three primary theories... 85 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:19,443 ...concerning sediment flow rate. 86 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,572 Each of these theories... 87 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:27,826 ...can be further subcategorized into..." 88 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,037 Why don't you open with a joke? 89 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:35,083 Open with a joke? It's a university, not a comedy club. 90 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,210 Wait a minute, hold the phone. 91 00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:40,297 You're not talking about Chuckles University? 92 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:42,716 Okay. 93 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,426 GROUP: Come on, we're kidding. 94 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,636 You know what might make it less boring? 95 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:48,096 Thank you. 96 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,016 Some, um... Some visual aids. 97 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,851 Oh, oh! You know what's a good visual aid? 98 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,895 Please don't say naked chicks. 99 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,522 Why not? 100 00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:01,151 I don't even know why I bothered to even talk to you guys about it. 101 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:04,613 You know, I'm just gonna do it on my own, with no naked chicks. 102 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,574 That's the way I did it till I was 19. 103 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,289 - Hey. - Hey. 104 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,916 Any good mail? 105 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,293 Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild. 106 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:22,422 Ooh, it's probably a residual check. Hey, can you open it? I got... 107 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:27,219 - "Benefits lapsed." - Hmm. That's weird. 108 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,430 I don't remember being in a movie called Benefits Lapsed. 109 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,516 Okay, it's not a check. 110 00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:35,852 They're saying your health insurance expired because... 111 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:38,563 ...you didn't work enough last year. - Let me see that. 112 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,107 All right. 113 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,734 Oh, I can't believe this. 114 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,653 This sucks. 115 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,489 When I had insurance, I could get hit by a bus... 116 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,158 ...or catch on fire, you know? 117 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:53,245 And it wouldn't matter. Now I gotta be careful? 118 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:57,290 I'm sorry, man. There's never a good time to have to... 119 00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,793 ...stop catching on fire. 120 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,671 All right, well... 121 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,298 ...I guess I gotta go get a job. I'm gonna see my agent. 122 00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:08,343 Okay, make sure to look both ways before you cross the street. 123 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,139 [MIMICKING] "Make sure to look both ways before you cross the street." 124 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,523 - Hey. - Hey, Pheebs, you're still alive. 125 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,068 How are you feeling? 126 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,946 It's so exhausting, waiting for death. 127 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,699 Oh, by the way, do you think you... 128 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,576 [CHOKES] 129 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,746 Pheebs, what are you doing? 130 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,541 I was preparing you for... Didn't you think I was dead? 131 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,293 Did that not come off? 132 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:46,089 Oh, yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought we'd lost you forever. 133 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,050 - Pheebs, you wanna lie down? - Yeah, thanks. 134 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,344 And listen, can you do me a favor? 135 00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:53,472 Could you just wake me up in a couple hours. 136 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,724 You know, if you can. 137 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:01,646 RACHEL: Monica? 138 00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:05,650 Did you take these back? 139 00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:10,697 No, no. I just liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself. 140 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,116 Oh, yeah, they're really great, aren't they? 141 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,743 - I love them. - Yeah. 142 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,037 Nice try. 143 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,917 - Hello. - Hey, how'd the lecture go? 144 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,336 It went great. 145 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:28,423 And I didn't need any jokes or naked chicks either. 146 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,635 Oh, that's great. I'm sorry we weren't supportive before. 147 00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:34,971 I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. 148 00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:38,225 Everyone's all, uh, "Ross, you have to be funny and sexy." 149 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,602 Well, I proved them wrong. 150 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,648 And now I'm gonna pass the news on to Joey and Chandler. 151 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,609 - That you're not funny or sexy? - That's right. 152 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:57,244 - Hey, Estelle, listen... - Well, well, well. 153 00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,912 Joey Tribbiani. 154 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,206 So you came back, huh? 155 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,792 They think they can do better, but they all... 156 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,962 ...come crawling back to Estelle. 157 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,549 What are you talking about? 158 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,426 I never left you. You've always been my agent. 159 00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,679 - Really? - Yeah. 160 00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:19,224 Oh, well, no harm, no foul. 161 00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:24,145 Look, Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I lost my health insurance. 162 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:27,607 All right, first thing we gotta do: Damage control. 163 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:30,318 - Why? - Well, I think, uh... 164 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,779 ...someone out there... 165 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:36,449 ...may have been bad-mouthing you all over town. 166 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,494 The bastard. 167 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,045 - Hey. - Hey. 168 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,091 So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow. 169 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,177 And I'll have my health insurance back in no time. 170 00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,890 That's great, but shouldn't you be on the toilet right now? 171 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,855 - What? - What's wrong with you? 172 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,023 Nothing. 173 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:13,028 Well, I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before. 174 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,155 And then I, uh, passed out... 175 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:18,575 ...and, uh, I haven't been able to stand up since. Ha, ha. 176 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,536 But I don't think it's anything serious. 177 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,706 This sounds like a hernia. You have to... Go to the doctor. 178 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,124 No way. 179 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,043 If I'm gonna go to the doctor for anything... 180 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:31,463 ...it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach. 181 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,009 That's a hernia. 182 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,054 Why'd I have to start working out again? 183 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,556 Damn you, 15s. 184 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:48,104 We're a little early. The lecture doesn't end for 15 minutes. 185 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,732 - Yeah, but we can sneak in and watch. - Yeah. Good. 186 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,610 Oh, hey, look. There's some Kappa Kappa Deltas. 187 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,863 I was a Kappa. Hey, sisters. 188 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,409 Wow, we really are bitches. 189 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,165 [IN BRITISH ACCENT] Right. So when Rigby got his samples... 190 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,833 ...back from the laboratory... 191 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,670 ...he made a startling discovery. 192 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:18,760 What he believed to be igneous was, in fact, sedimentary. 193 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,597 Imagine his consternation when... 194 00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,645 Oh, bloody hell. 195 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,735 What the hell are you doing? 196 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,279 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Look, I was nervous. 197 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:41,116 You guys had me all worried I was gonna be boring. 198 00:11:41,283 --> 00:11:44,744 I got up there and they were all, like, staring at me. 199 00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:48,623 I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out. 200 00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,501 Yeah, and not a very good one. 201 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,712 Will you, please? 202 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:55,755 Dr. Geller? Kurt Rathman. 203 00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:58,383 I'm a professor in the paleontology department here. 204 00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,553 Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture? 205 00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,723 [IN BRITISH ACCENT] I'm sorry, I've got plans with my sister. 206 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,891 [IN IRISH ACCENT] Monica Geller. 207 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,938 Right. Will you excuse us for one moment? 208 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,523 [IN NORMAL VOICE] What are you doing? 209 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,817 [IN NORMAL VOICE] You can have an accent, but I can't? 210 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:18,278 [IN IRISH ACCENT] Top of the morning to you, laddies. 211 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,989 Would you just please stop? 212 00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,074 [IN EAST INDIAN ACCENT] Yes. 213 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:26,286 Bombay is very, very nice this time of year. 214 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,836 [JOEY GRUNTING] 215 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,929 Hey, will you grab me a cruller? 216 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,057 Sit down. 217 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:53,104 - Will you go to the hospital? - Dude, hernia operations cost, like... 218 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,106 ...a lot probably, okay? 219 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,692 Besides, it's getting darker and more painful. 220 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,861 That means it's healing. 221 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,614 Look, I will loan you the money. 222 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:06,367 Just go to the hospital and let's just get that thing... 223 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,369 ...pushed back in. 224 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:11,790 Thank you, but it'd take me forever to pay you that money back. 225 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,375 And I don't want that hanging over my head, okay? 226 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:16,586 Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in... 227 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:19,631 ...I can get all the free operations I want. 228 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,884 I think I'll probably start with that laser eye surgery. 229 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:26,596 - Hey. - Hey. 230 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,223 JOEY: Hey. - What's going on? 231 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,891 Well, Joey's got a bad hernia... 232 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:33,228 ...but it's nothing a little laser eye surgery won't fix. 233 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:37,106 Look, I'm telling you, if I put my hand on my stomach right here... 234 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:39,442 ...it doesn't hurt that bad. Ah. 235 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:42,320 Hey, maybe you'll die. 236 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,824 Chandler, I'm scared. 237 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,826 PHOEBE: No, we can go together. 238 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,369 Just don't wait too long, though... 239 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,038 ...because I'm out of here sometime before Friday. 240 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,707 But I don't want to die. 241 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:55,875 No, no. It'll be fun. 242 00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,169 We can come back and we can haunt these guys. 243 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,386 - Give me them. - No, they are mine. 244 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,680 - You stole them from me. - You stole them from me. 245 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,431 Give me them. 246 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,644 You just wanna each take one? 247 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,897 Yeah, that seems fair. We never use them. 248 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,318 Look, I really need some help, okay? 249 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:26,406 Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent? 250 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:28,032 What do I do? 251 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,744 Well, why don't you phase it out? Yeah, phase the accent out. 252 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:35,039 People will think that you're adjusting to life in America. 253 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:37,625 Yeah, I mean, come on. No one will even notice. 254 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,211 I mean, they're probably not even listening to you. 255 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,840 They're not listening to me? 256 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,843 Of course they're listening to you. 257 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,511 Everybody listens to you. 258 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:52,390 Monica, do you really think I should try this phasing-out thing? 259 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,183 I think you look fine. 260 00:14:58,188 --> 00:15:00,565 DIRECTOR: Whenever you're ready. - Okay. 261 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,610 Hey, Timmy. 262 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,738 I've got a surprise... 263 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,448 ...for you. 264 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,283 DIRECTOR: Hold it. I'm sorry. 265 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,953 The surprise is a new swing set. If you could play it less intense. 266 00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:18,166 Oh, yeah. Sure, no problem. Just hold on one second. 267 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,669 [GROANS] 268 00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:26,966 Hey, Timmy. 269 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:30,553 I've got a surprise for you. 270 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:31,721 Oh, my God! 271 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,773 So that's why I feed my dog Purina One. 272 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,608 Pick up a bag today. 273 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:48,321 - That's where you pick up the bag. - Exactly. 274 00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:53,284 No, the line is, "Pick up a bag," so you need to pick up the bag. 275 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,829 Or I could just point to it. Huh? 276 00:15:56,997 --> 00:16:01,960 Blah, blah, blah. Purina One. Point to a bag today. 277 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,465 - I didn't get it, did I? - No. 278 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,925 Yeah, okay. 279 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,513 Hi. 280 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,431 I'm Joey Tribbiani. 281 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:18,226 I'm here to audition for "Man." 282 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:20,311 You mean "Dying Man." 283 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,814 Yes. 284 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:28,361 - Okay, come on. Do it one more time. - Really? Really? Okay. 285 00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,449 [IRISH ACCENT] Ross, this is Dr. McNeely... 286 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:36,327 ...from Fake Accent University. 287 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,830 We'd like you to come onboard with us full-time. 288 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,081 [BOTH LAUGHING] 289 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,043 - Hey. - Hey. 290 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,628 PHOEBE: Listen to this. 291 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,506 My reading was wrong. I'm not going to die. 292 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,592 - Really? How do you know? - Because my psychic is dead. 293 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:57,682 - She must have read the cards wrong. - Oh, I'm sorry. 294 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,767 Ah, better her than me. 295 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:02,061 Hey, let's bake cookies! 296 00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,777 Listen, I'm really glad you got the part. 297 00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:11,154 [GRUNTS] 298 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,198 - Are you sure you can do this? - Yeah. 299 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:15,950 And, hey, thanks for coming with me. 300 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:19,287 And thanks again for helping me take a shower. 301 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:25,209 Now, is that "never talking about it again"? 302 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:29,297 Hey, Joey. We're ready for you. 303 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,175 Joey, this is Alex. He's gonna be playing your son. 304 00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:33,551 Hi, Alex. 305 00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:36,888 And, uh, as you can see, my hands are not in my pants. 306 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,308 Okay. 307 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:44,687 All right, uh, Alex. Now, when Joey says his line: 308 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:48,816 "Take good care of your mama, son," that's your cue to cry. Got it? 309 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,902 All right, let's do this. 310 00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:56,741 Scene five, take one. 311 00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,535 DIRECTOR: And action. 312 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:12,423 Take good care of your mama, son. 313 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,428 Come on, son. 314 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,223 Your mama's good people. 315 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,183 Cut. 316 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,186 Alex, remember, you're supposed to cry. 317 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,605 - Can you cry for us this time? - Okay. 318 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,191 All right. From the top. 319 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:35,154 Scene five, take two. 320 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,824 Take 36 is up. 321 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,201 DIRECTOR: Let's try this again. 322 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:41,702 You ready, Joe? 323 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:44,664 Uh, one thing, is it all right with you if I scream... 324 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,749 ...right up until you say, "Action"? 325 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:48,793 - Sure. - Okay. 326 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,336 [SCREAMING] 327 00:18:51,046 --> 00:18:54,590 - Action! - Take good care of your mama, son. 328 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,095 - Cut. - Aah! 329 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:02,348 I'm sorry. Hey, hey. Joe, why don't you lift up your shirt? 330 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,392 Take a look at this, kiddo. 331 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,020 [CRYING] 332 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:11,357 We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras! 333 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,026 [PHONE RINGING] 334 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,739 - Hello. - Hello, is Ross there? 335 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,449 No, he's not. Can I take a message? 336 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:23,035 Yes, this is Russell, Ross' divorce lawyer. 337 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,246 Just tell him that since I haven't heard from him... 338 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,665 ...I assume he's decided to give the marriage a try. 339 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,127 Ross got married again? Aah! No. 340 00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:37,133 ROSS: All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out. 341 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,218 Phasing it out. 342 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:43,973 "So without retesting their results in the laboratory... 343 00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:47,685 ...the team would never have identified... 344 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:56,152 ...the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis." 345 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,489 Were there any questions at this point? 346 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,327 - Yes. - What's happening to your accent? 347 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:10,124 [IN BRITISH ACCENT] Come again? What's this nonsense? 348 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,626 [CHUCKLES] 349 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,964 [IN NORMAL VOICE] All right. I'm not English. 350 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,927 I'm from Long Island. 351 00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,846 I was really nervous, and the accent... 352 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,806 ...just, um... Just came out. 353 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:28,184 Ha, ha. I'm sorry. 354 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,022 So if we could just get back to the lecture. 355 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:36,984 Um, were there any questions? 356 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,322 About paleontology? 357 00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:47,703 All right, look, I was just trying to make a good first impression. 358 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,747 Obviously, I screwed up. 359 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,083 But what you guys think of me is really important... 360 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,294 ...because I'm hoping to get a permanent job here. 361 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,839 So if you'd just give me another chance to make a good impression... 362 00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:00,258 [DOOR OPENS] 363 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,510 Ross. Are you crazy? 364 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:06,055 I am still your wife? What, were you just never gonna tell me? 365 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,391 What the hell is wrong with you? 366 00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:10,977 Ugh, I could just kill you! 367 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,775 [BRITISH ACCENT] Well, hello, Rachel. 368 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,662 - You've really done this before? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 369 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,456 You just take a big, big swing, okay? 370 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,542 Now, don't hold back. 371 00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:39,005 - Hey. - Hey. 372 00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:40,381 What are you doing? 373 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:44,093 We're just celebrating that Joey got his health insurance back. 374 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,804 Oh, all right.