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Invader Zim
Mysterious Mysteries
S01E15A (S04E01)

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Subtitles: Ainee

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And, like the alien said: "Go
to the Blotch, the Blotch knows."

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So I, like, left my husband and came
out here to commune with the Blotch!

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The Blotch knows!
The Blotch knows!

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What exactly does
"the Blotch" know?

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The future...? I dunno.
It's really hard to make out, you know?

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Yeah, he does that sometimes.

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Hey, got bad news:
you're fired!

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Gotcha! No,
you're not fired.

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But you will be unless
you liven up the show!

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Submissions for
next week's show!

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There has to be
something good here.

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An unusually fat baby?
No.

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Angry mutant beef jerky...
No!

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It's hopeless!

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Well, there's always that stuff
that crazy Dib kid keeps sending in.

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No! No!! Not after what
happened that last time.

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"Pigfoot"?!
This is ridiculous!

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It's got to be
better than Pigfoot.

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Get the van! I think
we got something.

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Now, harder-hitting...
faster-paced...

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...and even more...
mysterious!

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Are we alone in
the universe?

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Tonight we'll show you some
intriguing video that may just

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answer that vexing question!

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Look, Gaz! You're my witness!
He is an alien!

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I have him on tape! I have
you on tape witnessing it!

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Thanks to a horribly
large-headed boy named Dib,

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we have a new piece
in the puzzle that is

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the search for alien life!
I set out to investigate.

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Kids play without fear in the
streets of this humble hamlet.

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In fact, it's the kind of place where
you don't even have to lock the door.

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Who are you?!
Get out of my house!

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You're here! I knew one
day you'd come. I knew it!

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Young Dib has been
chronicling the paranormal

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nearly all of his brief life.

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So, when a green kid claiming to be
a human boy with a skin condition

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entered his classroom,
he says, he was prepared.

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Look at him!
He's so... green!

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Help us. Clear up,
what happened that night.

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I was monitoring some of the
higher-frequency radio waves

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when I picked up on
an alien distress signal!

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So I went out with Gaz.
She's kinda my sidekick.

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We are close now.
I feel it in my brain.

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Golly! What is that?!

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Stay back, Gaz!

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Look, Gaz! You are my
witness! He is an alien!

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I him on tape! I have you
on tape witnessing it!

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He tried to wrestle the video
away from me, but I was

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too much for him.

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Dib! The glow!

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Aliens. That's quite a claim.
Are you prepared to defend it?

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I think my video
speaks for itself.

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This young man denies
your accusation!

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What's he doing here?!
He's the alien!

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I came to put a stop
to all your alien talk.

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When will the lies end?!

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Well, Zim. I guess,
my first question is,

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are you an alien?

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Lies!!! The filthy
Earth boy lies!!!

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- I mean, no.
- Well, what about the video?

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I was out playing like any
normal Earth larva, when

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he came looking
for trouble.

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Hey new kid! Give me
your lunch moneys!

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But I need these moneys
to buy nutrients.

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Give me the moneys or I'll
tell everyone you're an alien!

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Leave me alone!
I just want to play.

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Fine. Look, Gaz! You are my
witness. He is an alien!

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I have him on tape! I have
you on tape witnessing it!

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- That didn't happen!
- He lies!!!

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Calm down you two!

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- You'll never get away with this!
- Silence, you tiny brain... head!

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What about that glowing thing?!
Look at it! That's no human glow!

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We asked an expert.

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Possibly a weather baloon.
Or swamp gas.

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Swamp gas?

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He is crazy! Ask
anyone in our class.

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Dib... yeah..
he is pretty crazy.

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He told me my
daddy was a Yeti.

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My daddy's not a Yeti!
He is not a Yeti!!!

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- What's up with his head?
- Well, Dib. I guess the question

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for you is:
Are you crazy?!

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Of course they say I'm crazy. That's
what they always say about visionaries.

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What's he doing?
What are you doing?!

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- Calling your space friends?!
- Nonsens! It's my medication.

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Come on, boys!
This is national TV.

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Some peoples' jobs
are on the line.

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This is insane! You've
got to talk to my sister!

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She saw the whole thing!

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Zim: Tormented child with
a skin condition or scheming

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demon from the stars?
Dib: Misunderstood visionary

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or raving lunatic? Perhaps
only this little girl knows...

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- Excuse me...
- Go away!

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I wanted to ask you a few
questions about your brother.

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Maybe you can set us straight
on the whole craziness issue.

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Gaz, after what you saw,
do you believe that your brother

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got proof of intelligent
extraterrestrial life?

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Intelligent? No. My stupid brother
did drag me out to look for stupid

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Zim. He didn't make that part up.

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S-shiny...!

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Look, Gaz! You're my witness!
He is an alien!

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I have him on tape! I have
you on tape witnessing it!

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It looks like we'll never know
what really happened that night.

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I'd like to thank you all for
watching what will almost

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certainly be the final episode
of Mysterious Mysteries.

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It seems we have a surprise
witness who was there

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and claims to
know the truth.

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But he works
for the alien!

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Restrain him!

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Now, what can you
tell us about Dib?

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Dib's all mean to my master.
He not nice to Zim.

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I've seen it.
Dib is bad.

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And about the
night in question?

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I was a chubby lady
hiding in the bushes.

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- And what about Dib?
- I'm on TV!

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Yes. Then
what happened?

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That's when the giant
squirrel showed up.

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- GIR!
- Let her talk!

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Can't you see
she's upset?

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Now. Don't you mean
Dib showed up?

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No! The squirrel showed up
first, then Dib showed up.

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Man! What is
that thing?!

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And then the squirel
ate Dib's greasy head.

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And then the
squirrel flew away.

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After that, he went back to his
home planet to fight all the bad guys.

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What does that have
to do with anything?!

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Me and the squirrel
are friends.

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I'm so fired. W-well, the only
conclusion I can come to is

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that Dib is crazy.

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This one here: definitely crazy.
I feel bad for the ugly green kid,

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but there's a decent
chance, he's crazy too.

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- But not an alien.
- No.

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- Okay.
- Just crazy.

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Nothing matters anymore!
Maybe I'm crazy!

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Crazy!

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We're so cancelled.

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I think this is the best work
you've done. Crazy gets

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good ratings. Give
me more like it!

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Subtitles: Ainee