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Invader Zim
Bolognius Maximus
s01e12A (s03e05)

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Subtitles: Ainee and Andy

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You know, anyone who
watches you obsessively

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every day would notice that you
never actually eat any of the food.

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Why is that, Zim?
Don't like the taste,

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or is it something more?
A weakness?

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Don't be ridiculous! I have
already stuffed my normal

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human belly so full of
delicious human fiiilth

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that I could not eat another bite.

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Bologna!

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The meat! The meat!
The horrible meat!

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You're late, Dib! This is
the third time this week.

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Sorry, Miss Bitters. I was in
the biology room trying to get

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pictures of that
vampire gerbil in action.

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That excuse is getting old.
Sit down!

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Are you still mad about
that thing with the sandwich?

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Hey, Bologna-Boy!

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You got Bologna
on his head!

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That's it, Dib. Laugh now, yes!
Laugh and frolic in your vile

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meats of evil...
Meats of evil!

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But know that vengeance
shall be mine!

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Oh, how it will be mine!

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This is your vengeance, Zim?
A tack? That's pathetic.

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Even for you.

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Class, today's horrible lesson
is about something horrible.

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Open your horrible
textbooks to page 2038.

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Beautiful. If Dib's cellular reaction
is the same as it is for these

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test cells, then my vengeance
will truly be complete.

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Sleep well this night,
miserable human.

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For it will be the last peaceful
sleep you will ever know.

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They try and say it's just a regular
mountain range on the Martian surface,

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and it's just a trick of the light,
but come on!

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It is so a monkey face.

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Go away!

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Looks like you finally found
some friends who actually

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wanna be around you.

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Quit it!

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Hey... I'm delicious.

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Gaz! Taste me!
I'm delicious.

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Late again, Dib!
And what is it this time?

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Vampire babies or
Bigfoot mailmen?

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Dogs... chasing me...
So many dogs!

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Hey! What's that
nasty sandwichy smell?

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I guess it's... Dib!

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Dude...! Dude...!
I left my underwear on

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for a month once and it
kinda smelled like he does!

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Who's the joke on now, Dib?
I told you you'd suffer my

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revenge and now look at you!

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What? Your mind-controlling
slobbery dogs now?

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Real scary, space boy.
A quick shower and your

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vengeance just washes right off.

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Aw man!
I'm gonna throw up!

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The stink!
Stiiiiiiiiiink!

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Silence! If I have to put
up with the awesome force

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of your collective child stench
every day, then so shall you all!

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What... is that smell?

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So familiar.

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The school has lost its
funding for textbooks,

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so you've all been given
wildlife survival manuals.

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Today you will be quizzed
on how to skin a moose!

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Miss Bitters, I think there's a
skinned moose somewhere in the class!

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Dib? You stink! Go to
the bathroom and roll

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around in the toilet until
you smell better!

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But I'll smell like the toilet!

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Exactly.

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But... Willy was the
last one to use it!

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Now!

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Oh yeah, Dib? Uh... my
vengeance is now complete.

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Nope... Still delicious!

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No one should be this delicious!

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What's going on!?!

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Zim!

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Computer! Analyze!
Run a chemical check!

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Is there any unusual foreign
substance on the tack?

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Analysis done.
Unknown substance detected.

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And my skin sample, does it
contain the same substance?

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Yes. Substance
detected in Dib cells.

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So, a foreign DNA sequence!
And Zim got it inside me

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by making me sit on that tack!

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Computer, where did this
DNA originate from?

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Analyzing...

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Bologna! Zim has introduced
Bologna DNA into my body!?!

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Computer, have I
absorbed the Bologna?

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No. Subject Dib has been
fused with subject Bologna.

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Noooo!

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Zim?

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Is it a fair fight? Is this
moose creature wielding

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any sort of projectile weapons?

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No. No, it's not.

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I know what you've done,
Zim, and it's not funny!

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I don't know what
you're talking about.

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Get away from me,
sandwich boy!

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The cure! Make it stop, Zim!
Make this thing you've done to me stop!

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There is no cure!
And I'll never make it stop!

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You might as well resign
yourself to your meaty fate!

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I told you you would
forever rue the day

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you messed with Zim!
Now, begin your ruing!

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I'll just... sit here
and... watch.

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Nooo!

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I know all about your
little trick, Zim.

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I must admit, it's a pretty
good joke. I...

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I think it deserves some praise.

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Finally, the day has come.
It's about time you acknowledged

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me as the superior
being I so am.

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It will make my victory
even sweeter to know that...

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Joke's on you, Zim!
Now you have to find

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a cure for the Bologna thing!

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Fool! You think I would
share the cure with you?

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I'll find a cure and keep
it all to myself and then

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watch you transform more
and more into what you really

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are deep down in your heart!

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Deep down I'm Bologna?

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Yes.

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That's just dumb.

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Dumb like a moose,
Dib. Dumb like a moose!

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Hey wait!
The cure!

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No! The reaction is much
quicker inside of me!

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It's worse than I imagined!
Computer, quickly engineer

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a serum to reverse the
effects of the mutagine!

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Command voice not recognized.
Intruder present.

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Intruder?! I am Zim!! Run a
scan to verify that I am Zim!

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Bio scan verification complete.
Intruder is Bologna.

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The dogs! After my juicy
meat body of bologna meat!

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Zim! What are
you doing here?

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My base, my labs, they
don't think I'm really me!

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The transformation is so bad it
sees me as a different creature now!

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I must use your labs!

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You want to use my labs?

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It's the only way! I must find
the cure! Quickly, the dogs!

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Listen to them!

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You know, it would
benefit you as well.

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Just this once...
We work together!

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Mortal enemies working
together for the common goal!

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Be quiet!

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Finally! I think
we've done it!

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Oh, you rotten
alien monster!

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This inferior equipment! Irken
babies play with more advanced toys!

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Hey! We wouldn't be
in this mess if it weren't

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for your stupid evil!
This is all your fault!

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Now what, Zim?
What's your next plan?

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Let's run screaming.

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You jerk!

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Subtitles: Ainee and Andy