1 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,760 My mother was a punk rock icon. 2 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,800 People often ask me         if she was a good mum. 3 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,800 It's hard to know what to say. 4 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,240 Sometimes I think of an answer  she might have come up with. 5 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,480 "A good mum?" she'd ask. 6 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,160 How banal. 7 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,680 How mundane. 8 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,320 The funeral was surreal. 9 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,920 My memory of it is a blur. 10 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,280 All these people I'd never met, 11 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,840 people who came to say goodbye  to Poly Styrene. 12 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,640 This famous person. 13 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,880 Someone so far removed  from the mother I knew. 14 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,120 I felt sick to my stomach. 15 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,400 I wasn't ready to be             the care-taker 16 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,160 of Poly Styrene's legacy. 17 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,680 I'd just lost my mum. 18 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,880 There was only me now. 19 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:26,560 The only child she had. 20 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,640 And now she'd gone              and left me 21 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,640 to deal with it alone. 22 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,640 Thanks, Mum! 23 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,120 I know your antiseptic 24 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:08,480 Your deodorant smells nice 25 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,320 I'd like to get to know you 26 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:16,640 You're deep frozen             Like the ice 27 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,800 She's a germ-free adolescent 28 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,240 Cleanliness is her obsession 29 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,040 Cleans her teeth      Ten times a day 30 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,240 Scrub away        Scrub away, scrub away 31 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,880 The S.R. Way 32 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,080 My mother taught me           to love the sea, 33 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,200 for water is the beginning  and end of life on this Earth. 34 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,360 I find a kind of solace      in retracting her footsteps, 35 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,840 barely visible as they are         in the sands of time. 36 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,120 "July 3, 1976. 37 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,040 Hastings Pier. 38 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,320 It's my birthday      and I'll party if I want to. 39 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,400 Nineteen today.       What a birthday surprise. 40 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,240 Tacky Day-Glo sign,             Sex Pistols, 41 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,840 market traders,         all my Freudian peers, 42 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,920 cockles, winkles and mussels. 43 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,760 Never did like shellfish." 44 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:53,880 "I stand centrepoint      in an almost empty ballroom. 45 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,840 Three Swedish babes     stared at Johnny." 46 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,920 It took me a long time       to go through her things. 47 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,160 It was all too painful. 48 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,800 And there was so much          to sort through... 49 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,840 Photos, lyrics, albums. 50 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,360 Things of value        and cultural importance. 51 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,120 But I couldn't face it. 52 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,280 So, I didn't. 53 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,040 I had her ashes in a box, too. 54 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,760 I kept it in a wardrobe. 55 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,160 She wanted me         to take them to India. 56 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,840 But I couldn't face             that, either. 57 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,360 It was about five years            after she died 58 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,440 that I decided to         go through everything. 59 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,240 I was blown away  by her artistry. 60 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,840 She did all the artwork         for the band herself. 61 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,240 I enjoyed piecing together      all the parts of her puzzle. 62 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,000 Building a picture      of who she'd been before me. 63 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,280 X-Ray Spex are one         of the best exponents 64 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,280 of the so-called punk          or New Wave music. 65 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,840 Vocalist Poly Styrene           is the punkiest. 66 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,480 Poly Styrene chose her name        from the yellow pages. 67 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,320 Otherwise Marianne Elliott,         aged 19 from Brixton, 68 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,560 she's thought of           by the music press 69 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,480 as one of the most        interesting songwriters 70 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,800 to surface from the New Wave. 71 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,280 I know I'm artificial 72 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,640 But don't put           The blame on me 73 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,000 I was reared with appliances 74 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,600 In a consumer society 75 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,400 One lady that's been causing 76 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,680 a lot of controversy         right around London, 77 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,440 is a lady I've got         in front of me now, 78 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,520 a Miss Poly Styrene.       Welcome to the program. 79 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,040 The name Poly Styrene, 80 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,040 was it given to you       by a publicist, or what? 81 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:37,040 No, I thought I'd use the name      of something around today, 82 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,960 you know, something plastic           and synthetic. 83 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,680 and I just looked         in the yellow pages 84 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,040 and then I saw it. 85 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,960 -Really?                -Yeah. 86 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,000 So that's how the name    Poly Styrene finally was born, 87 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,880 -from the yellow pages             phone book.                -Yeah. 88 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:49,920 Oh, wow. 89 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,040 It sounded alright, 90 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,360 'cos I thought it was    a send up of being a pop star. 91 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,640 It was like a little figure,  not me, being Poly Styrene. 92 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,520 Just plastic, disposable. 93 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,680 That's what pop stars        sort of meant to me, 94 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,960 so therefore I thought     I might as well send it up. 95 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,600 Long before Poly Styrene,      there was Marianne Elliott. 96 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,360 Like all good heroines, 97 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,000 my mother cut her teeth         on a tough childhood. 98 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:29,400 A so-called "baby boomer"             born in '57, 99 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,080 and times, they were a-changing          in post-war Britain. 100 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,000 "Who am I? What the hell, 101 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,800 I'm just an ordinary tough kid 102 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,720 from an ordinary tough street." 103 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,160 We grew up in this estate      which was called Gosling Way. 104 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,640 It was one of those         old building estates, 105 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,600 where, in our flat, 106 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,040 we had a bath    in the kitchen with a lid on. 107 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,080 So there was not          a separate bathroom. 108 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,520 There was coal fires 109 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,360 in the main sitting room  and one of the bedrooms, 110 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,200 and in the other bedroom      there wasn't any fire at all. 111 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,760 We knew we were poor, 112 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,960 but the benefit system  wasn't as such as it is today, 113 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,600 and my mum         had to work full time. 114 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,600 She was a legal secretary. 115 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,760 And so in a way, 116 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,200 we were kind of like       the first latch-key kids. 117 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,720 My nanny, Joan,       was a second mother to me. 118 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,680 She looked after me         when Mum couldn't. 119 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,200 She looked after everyone, 120 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,600 a true matriarch. 121 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,640 She was well spoken, upright, 122 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,800 but at the same time,      something of a free spirit. 123 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,760 She met my grandfather              at a dance. 124 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,520 She was surprised        when he approached her. 125 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,560 She wasn't        used to male attention. 126 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,680 When he asked her to dance,       her heart skipped a beat. 127 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,000 She thought he had the darkest 128 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,560 and saddest eyes  she'd ever seen. 129 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,240 A real dapper chap, too. 130 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,280 Suited and booted         with impeccable style. 131 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,440 "Black is beautiful.          White is all right. 132 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,800 You're half-caste girl,          Do you wanna fight? 133 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,240 Black girl        carries her flick knife. 134 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,480 Will she cut me up         for being half white? 135 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,840 The national front are after me. 136 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,600 I'm infiltrating,            can't you see?" 137 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,480 My mum was half-caste, 138 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,240 I'm quarter-caste, 139 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,800 my cousin's three-quarter caste. 140 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,520 Even when      I was growing up in the '90s, 141 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,880 these were the kinds of terms  people would use to describe you 142 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,400 if you were mixed race. 143 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,320 It annoyed the hell out of me, 144 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,160 and I know it upset my mum, too. 145 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,320 It's like saying        you're not quite whole, 146 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,280 you're just       a part-person, a fraction. 147 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,360 My mum never had          no friends as such, 148 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,680 because they just saw her        as a black man's whore. 149 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,760 It was bad enough    being a single mother. 150 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,200 Being a single mother        with half-black children 151 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,600 was absolutely "Hey, hey!" 152 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,800 You know, the white  community shunned Nanny, really. 153 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,480 Join the National Front! 154 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,760 The National Front!         The National Front! 155 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,240 Join the National Front! 156 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,640 The National Front!         The National Front! 157 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,920 When a white person      looks at a mixed-race child, 158 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,320 they think, "My God, 159 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,320 a white person       went with a black person," 160 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,720 and vice versa. 161 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,600 It's their genes, really,  trying to preserve themselves, 162 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,160 because they see us as a threat    to their genetic existence. 163 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,520 There were some nasty          remarks sometimes. 164 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:22,000 I remember her coming home        with bruises on her legs 165 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,240 where the boys had kicked her. 166 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,640 She was a fighter, 167 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,640 if you said something to her,  she won't keep her mouth shut. 168 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,560 She's gonna        answer you back and say. 169 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,800 That whole mixed-race thing 170 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,240 would have been a fairly new       phenomena in this country. 171 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,800 There was no social experiment 172 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,240 for black-and-white couples             having kids. 173 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,080 And consequently,  their kids were very confused. 174 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,560 At school, you'd be like, 175 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,800 "What side should you play on?" 176 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,320 The attitude was that 177 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,280 you weren't ever          really black enough 178 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,560 and you weren't         light-skinned enough. 179 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,360 You know,      you were obviously not white 180 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,080 and you weren't black enough 181 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,880 to be part        of the black community. 182 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,560 The black kids there,          they could all say, 183 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,040 "We're black,      we can all stick together." 184 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,720 "We don't like white people." 185 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,640 "I could never go out          with a pork head." 186 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,000 But if you're half-caste         and you're with them, 187 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,360 you don't really feel that, 188 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,640 'cos, like,        your mum might be white. 189 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,360 And they're       slagging off white people. 190 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,800 And if you        go with the white kids, 191 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,840 you have to reject your father. 192 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,600 My Grandad,          Osman Mohammad Said, 193 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,480 wasn't around much     when she was a kid. 194 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,880 You could say          they were estranged. 195 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,400 He spent his childhood years 196 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,520 as a nomad       in the Somali hinterland. 197 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,080 Then he made his way to Yemen         to seek his fortune, 198 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:55,520 ending up as a stowaway  on a British merchant navy ship. 199 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,040 He worked his passage           around the world, 200 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,040 finally ending up      in the docklands 201 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,040 of London's East End. 202 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,680 My mum came to resent 203 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,400 always having        to answer the question, 204 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,920 "Where are you from?" 205 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,520 She was a Londoner,           born and bred. 206 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,240 But she was also brown, 207 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,640 so her Britishness         was always questioned. 208 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,760 In the end, she started to          question it herself. 209 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,800 She had       this yearning for Africa. 210 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,240 She used to dream about 211 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,720 running away      from dreary, soggy England, 212 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,840 where she never felt at home. 213 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,320 "I wanna go back to Africa 214 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,280 and find my heritage. 215 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,440 I wanna learn about the warrior 216 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,640 and how my ancestor lived. 217 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,080 'Cos all I've seen           is 'Jungle Book', 218 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,320 and I know      that ain't the way it looks. 219 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,960 I grew up on 'Tarzan', too. 220 00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,760 What can he do? 221 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,040 What can you do? 222 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,000 I'm gonna cross Ethiopia 223 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,840 and see that ancient land. 224 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,720 And then I'll go to Somalia, 225 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,800 barefoot across the sand." 226 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,400 Hardly anyone        knew my mum was Somali. 227 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,120 I mean, most people in the '60s 228 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,880 knew next to nothing  about Somalia or Somali people. 229 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,720 Even when I was growing up,             they didn't. 230 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,320 When I found out           that Poly existed, 231 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,760 that was, like,       such a validation for me. 232 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,640 I have a Somali punk icon             to look up to? 233 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,520 I was interested in her story      because of the difficulties 234 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,480 when you're growing up           between cultures. 235 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,440 When you come to a community, 236 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,200 you always want to learn            about the people 237 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,760 who've been here before you. 238 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,640 Who've pioneered         and kicked doors down 239 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,200 and flattened walls        for us to come through. 240 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,480 Identity, that's one of the 241 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,280 current problems     at the moment, is identity. 242 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,240 People try to       identify with something. 243 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,200 Everybody's looking desperately 244 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,200 to try and identify           with one thing 245 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,720 instead of themselves,    and that's what that's about. 246 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:29,240 Identity! One, two, three, four! 247 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:47,240 Identity is the crisis            Can't you see? 248 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,240 Identity 249 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,000 Identity 250 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,080 When you look in the mirror        Do you see yourself? 251 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,080 Do you see yourself          On the TV screen? 252 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,280 Do you see yourself          In the magazine? 253 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,000 When you see yourself       Does it make you scream? 254 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,160 Obviously, identity meant           something to her, 255 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:09,600 because of the song. 256 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,640 It was not only,         I feel, talking about 257 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,640 women within rock music, 258 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,840 it was also talking about 259 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,440 how many black women did you see 260 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,200 on the front covers         of fashion magazines? 261 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,840 It was, in a way I guess, 262 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,880 up to us to carve          our own identities. 263 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,240 She was a woman of colour,       working within an industry 264 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:38,040 full of white middle-class men  that had it all their own way. 265 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,560 It's really important    that people get that. 266 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,400 When you're mixed-race,       it's hard not to feel like 267 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,840 an outsider looking in             half the time. 268 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,680 You often feel like       you don't belong anywhere. 269 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,080 But that can be liberating, too. 270 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,840 I think my mum  got to the point where she said, 271 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,640 "I'm gonna carve out 272 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,600 a place in         the world for myself." 273 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,640 And you know what?                She did. 274 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,520 The daily papers and the media 275 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,960 refer to you         as a bit of a rebel. 276 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,640 Um, do you think you're a rebel  in today's society? 277 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,600 I mean, yeah,     I suppose I am a bit really. 278 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,960 I am a poseur           And I don't care 279 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,680 I like to make people stare 280 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,960 I am a poseur           And I don't care 281 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,440 I like to make people stare 282 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,200 Back then, 283 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,200 it was fairly unusual 284 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,320 to be bi-racial. 285 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,720 In a way,        we were embraced by punk 286 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,080 and we were part of punk      because it was full of people 287 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,640 who nobody else wanted. 288 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,480 We were welcome because       we were already outsiders. 289 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,000 I first saw Poly            at World's End. 290 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:11,760 She had a little stall there. 291 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,560 This was just         on the very, very edge 292 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,120 of punk beginning, actually. 293 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,360 And she was sitting there              wearing... 294 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,400 I think it was lime-green      and orange plastic clothes, 295 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,120 and just looking really naughty. 296 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,560 It was to do 297 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,760 with the teenager 298 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,560 and how brilliant we were. 299 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,360 You know, just putting on          your dad's sweater 300 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:33,760 and, you know,           some black tights 301 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,240 and running out       down the street and stuff. 302 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,280 You know, it was something else. 303 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,160 Even though 304 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,440 she was certainly part 305 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,440 of the punk explosion and scene, 306 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,280 she had a very distinct look 307 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,000 that was very individual to her. 308 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,200 Her home-made clothes, 309 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,760 making your own records,         having your own shop, 310 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,800 doing it yourself, 311 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,960 I think that      social-political thing of DIY 312 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,040 did inform a lot of punk             and post-punk. 313 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,160 But the way Poly did it          was kind of unique. 314 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,040 My mum was obsessed             with fashion. 315 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,320 She wrote songs        critiquing consumerism, 316 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,880 but she was        the ultimate shopaholic. 317 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,800 I pretty much hated          everything she wore 318 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,600 and felt embarrassed  to walk down the street with her 319 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,840 most of the time. 320 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,640 Especially when she forced me 321 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,800 into ridiculous outfits too, 322 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,800 like the matching          mother and daughter 323 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,720 Laura Ashley phase she got into. 324 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,480 She liked nothing more 325 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,120 than traipsing around             the West End. 326 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,280 "Let's go window shopping," 327 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,480 she'd say, 328 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,280 and I would groan. 329 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,480 I couldn't think        of anything more boring 330 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,280 than walking around     department stores. 331 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,520 It was almost as boring  as sitting in a recording studio 332 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,320 or sitting in a restaurant  while she was being interviewed. 333 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,480 What an ungrateful brat I was! 334 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,400 Clothes are never really you. 335 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,040 That's why people wear them. 336 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,080 'Cos you can just create         an image with clothes, 337 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,160 they're just part of a façade. 338 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,680 Which is good fun        to play with sometimes. 339 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,200 By the time I was born, 340 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,440 Mum had left her punk phase            far behind her. 341 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,280 She always said 342 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,280 she never even       considered herself a punk, 343 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,040 that it was just a label,         coined by journalists. 344 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,120 At the same time, she recognised 345 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,240 that the scene        was the perfect vehicle 346 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,280 for her own        creative transformation. 347 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,760 She placed an ad  in the "Melody Maker" in 1976. 348 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:01,280 It said, "Young Punks  Who Want to Stick it Together." 349 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,960 She auditioned the band members, 350 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,600 and X-Ray Spex was born. 351 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,880 When she opened the door, 352 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,600 it was incredible. 353 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,280 She had this lovely,      beautiful smile on her face. 354 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,040 And when I saw her, 355 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,320 I just felt like         I'd always known her. 356 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,360 There's definitely some  previous life connection there, 357 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,040 some soul connection. 358 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,720 I sat down with them           and there was Jak 359 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,400 playing guitar and Poly singing, 360 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,320 and they sang some songs          and said, "Join in." 361 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,360 They gave me a cassette,            I took it home, 362 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,200 they rang me up and said,      "Would you like to join? 363 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,080 We've got a gig         Saturday at the Roxy." 364 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,840 Yeah, I just came in 365 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,400 and the outcome  was for anyone to hear me play. 366 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,120 I didn't play very much.  He just was very quick. 367 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,280 Two girls together, 368 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,480 it's gonna be lucrative. 369 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,320 Falcon Stuart         was my mum's manager. 370 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,520 He was also her first love. 371 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,200 She used to speak about him  all the time when I was a kid. 372 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,400 Sometimes she'd say      he was the love of her life, 373 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,040 other times,          that he'd ruined it. 374 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,840 It wasn't exactly a secret 375 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,280 but actually,          I wasn't quite sure 376 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,040 what the relationship was             with Falcon. 377 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,680 But it became         increasingly apparent 378 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,240 that they were           in a relationship, 379 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,520 and obviously      he was a lot older than her, 380 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,280 and was managing the band. 381 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,200 He was a bit like her patron, 382 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,880 in a Renaissance sense,         more than a manager. 383 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,160 Do you live in a basement flat            in his house? 384 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,800 -Yeah, why?         -I was just asking. 385 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,840 I'm not trying to imply       you're having an affair            or anything. 386 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,480 No, I'm not saying that you are. 387 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,560 I just wondered if, what the... 388 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,040 What the significance of it was? 389 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,960 I think, well... It's like... 390 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,520 well, there he can           look after you, 391 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,080 so it's like a patriarch deal. 392 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,040 Do you know what I mean? 393 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,000 Oh, well, no, not really. 394 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,720 Shall we go inside? 395 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,440 He seemed to be           mesmerised by her. 396 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,520 She was different. 397 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,160 She wasn't the norm,           she was different. 398 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,080 Definitely       I think he saw potential. 399 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,000 He saw it        from the very beginning. 400 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,240 I kind of had        a soft spot for Falcon. 401 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,280 I think he genuinely     cared for Marianne. 402 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,880 But it wasn't a relationship 403 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,400 which could sustain        itself in a healthy way, 404 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,680 because it wasn't built           on a healthy way. 405 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,520 Every romance she had            ended in tears. 406 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,080 She longed       to be loved so very much, 407 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,600 but she could never         sustain a relationship 408 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,040 longer than a few years. 409 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,360 "The infamous Roxy Club 410 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,440 in Neal Street,       Covent Garden, London WC1. 411 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,560 X-Ray Spex manager          Falcon Stuart and I 412 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,440 drop in to check out the talent. 413 00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,080 Names that scream out. 414 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,200 Billy Idol and Generation X, 415 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,120 The Buzzcocks,       Siouxsie and the Banshees, 416 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,080 Captain Sensible and The Damned, 417 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,360 Johnny Moped and Chrissie Hynde. 418 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,040 Poly Styrene and X-Ray Spex 419 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,520 are booked        for the following week." 420 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,880 I'd never even been to a gig,              and by chance 421 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,480 and by great         good fortune and luck, 422 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,040 the first gig I ever went to            was X-Ray Spex. 423 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,400 I think it was 60p to get in, 424 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,720 went downstairs, waited,      expecting a tiny, dirty hall, 425 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,800 nothing much going on. 426 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,520 And then Poly Styrene came out 427 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,160 and it was... everything       changed for me right then. 428 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,560 I fell in love with her,      I fell in love with the band, 429 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,880 I fell in love with the music,  I fell in love with the idea. 430 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,600 To see my sister on that stage, 431 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,840 and the energy and the power 432 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,480 and the expression... 433 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,640 She just        was incredible to watch. 434 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,480 But her words are important        as well, aren't they? 435 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,480 If only for the titles, 436 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,160 even if you don't         hear all the words. 437 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,600 The titles are all very... 438 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,200 Trash really. 439 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,200 Her day consisted          of writing, largely, 440 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,080 and she'd write with a biro 441 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,400 on bits of paper          or in little books. 442 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,840 And sometimes she'd say, 443 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,440 "What do you think of this?  What do you think of this idea?" 444 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,120 I mean, nobody else was really  singing so much about 445 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,680 what Poly was singing about. 446 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,720 It was either about being funny 447 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,360 or being kind of pseudo angry, 448 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,720 or making some kind of 449 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,560 artful points about      the banality of daily life, 450 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,120 which had its own        weird excitement to it. 451 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,760 Some of my earliest            memories of Mum 452 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,320 are of her sitting       at her little typewriter, 453 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,400 totally absorbed  in whatever she was writing. 454 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,160 There was rarely a moment 455 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,680 when she wasn't         working on a new song. 456 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,600 Sometimes      I felt jealous of her music. 457 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,600 Her songwriting robbed me      of the attention I craved. 458 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,400 My grandmother           would tell Mum off 459 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,240 for leaving me           to my own devices. 460 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:49,000 She'd come over        and find me half-dressed 461 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,560 with unbrushed hair,             causing chaos, 462 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,840 drawing on        the walls with crayons, 463 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,360 while Mum was lost      in her own world. 464 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,680 Creative people don't always         make the best parents, 465 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,640 and she certainly      neglected my needs at times. 466 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,160 Little girls should be         seen and not heard. 467 00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:20,200 Oh bondage, up yours!        One, two, three, four! 468 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:25,440 "I read a book           by William Wright, 469 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,240 and discovered      a newfound sense of freedom. 470 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,520 Images of the Suffragettes        chained to the railings          of Buckingham Palace 471 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,600 shot across        my photographic memory. 472 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,280 A faded dream  of Bowie's 'Suffragette City', 473 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,240 'Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am'          ringing in my ears. 474 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,600 Pictures of ball and chained            African slaves 475 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:48,800 were stored in my psyche,          in sepia of course. 476 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,080 I replayed       the biblical epic 'Moses' 477 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,680 on the screen in my head. 478 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,240 The story of the bondage      of the Israelites in Egypt. 479 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,560 I had an innate desire              to be free. 480 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,240 To be free from unwanted desires 481 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:06,680 seemed desirable." 482 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,320 Bind me, tie me         Chain me to the wall 483 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,040 I wanna be          A slave to you all 484 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,040 Oh bondage, up yours! 485 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,520 Oh bondage, no more! 486 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,600 Chain-store chain-smoke          I consume you all 487 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,560 Chain-gang chain-mail  I don't think at all 488 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,360 Oh bondage, up yours! 489 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:35,080 Oh bondage, no more! 490 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,280 Now recording-wise,       you've got a single out 491 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,200 called "Oh Bondage Up Yours!". 492 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,280 Now that has struck  a bit of trouble  as far as airplay is concerned. 493 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,120 -True?       -Yeah, well...  494 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,320 I expected that, really. 495 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,520 A lot of men in the media 496 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,640 didn't want women        to step into that place, 497 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:55,800 to be given more power 498 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,000 and more say          and more visibility. 499 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,120 Everybody always talks about         "Oh Bondage Up Yours!" 500 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,440 because in a way,            just that sound 501 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,640 cuts through        a sort of glass ceiling 502 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,440 of what women singers       could do with their voice. 503 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,440 It was like a clarion call, 504 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,080 and it was the way she sang, 505 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,880 it was so urgent, 506 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,040 and it was like a call to arms. 507 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,320 It was like,           "I am so fed up!" 508 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,200 "The journalist         Lucy Toothpaste asked, 509 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,760 'Are you liberated?' 510 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,720 'Are you referring 511 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,480 to "Oh Bondage Up Yours!"',               I asked. 512 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,280 Lucy replied, 'Well, yes.  Is it about women's liberation?' 513 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,640 'Yes and no,' I replied." 514 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,040 I was just talking about        all forms of bondage. 515 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,880 You know,     repression, everything else. 516 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,880 Sexual bondage stems from that,  so it's all part  of the same thing. 517 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,880 It all depends     which way you interpret it. 518 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,080 So it's much to do         with sexual bondage? 519 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,200 Yeah, it's to do          with all bondage. 520 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,480 And it's bondage    because it hasn't been played, 521 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:01,080 that proves it as well,      hat is bondage in itself. 522 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,000 I think a lot of people assume 523 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,000 my mum was a staunch feminist, 524 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,320 because of "Oh Bondage", 525 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,800 because of the way she subverted 526 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,080 conventional          ideas of femininity. 527 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,880 But I don't think        she felt any allegiance 528 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,840 to a particular      political position or stance. 529 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,480 She wasn't ideological. 530 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,320 She was an observer         rather than a critic. 531 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,440 There was even a part of her       that longed to be a wife, 532 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,680 a stay-at-home mum. 533 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,560 She often complained about that, 534 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:38,920 that she had to work, 535 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:41,520 to be a breadwinner            and a mother. 536 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,040 She secretly wished  she could be a lady of leisure. 537 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,880 We didn't use the word feminist      very much at the beginning. 538 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,840 I was never afraid of the word. 539 00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,560 But people       had their preconceptions, 540 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,880 and when somebody asks you,            "Are you this," 541 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:06,720 and you know that you are         your version of that, 542 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,880 but you're not the version     of the person who's asking. 543 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:13,400 It's always very difficult, 544 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,000 and particularly for women 545 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,400 to make music 546 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,400 that has any        social commentary to it, 547 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,200 without it appearing, 548 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,040 particularly if you're black, 549 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,640 that you're the archetypal     young, angry, black female. 550 00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:28,920 Poly had her own ideas           about everything. 551 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,400 She didn't follow fashion, 552 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,280 she didn't follow trends. 553 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,200 And so, I think the idea of 554 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,760 anybody telling women what to do    when it came to their rights 555 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,840 was something         that she would oppose. 556 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,240 She talked about       people treating each other 557 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,480 like they were commodities, 558 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,120 not just women           being objectified, 559 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,760 but all different kinds      of people being objectified. 560 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,440 And also not just,            "I'm the victim 561 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,240 and everybody's        taking advantage of me," 562 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:56,800 but writing in this way of like, 563 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,520 "I live off you        and you live off of me." 564 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,160 "And we're like, both doing it." 565 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,000 That's something that 566 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,720 as a feminist artist        is incredibly important. 567 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,680 And I think these ideas  were so far ahead of their time. 568 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,360 Good evening,       it's "Top of the Pops". 569 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,120 and we're gonna make you          feel like dancing. 570 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,480 Here's the chart rundown. 571 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:39,440 -Okay, you're going.  -Alright, what are you gonna do 572 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,320 when we get rich, Jak? 573 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,640 Well, I wanna buy a bubble car 574 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:46,920 and a little house... 575 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,080 And, uh... have a harem. 576 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,760 A harem, woah! 577 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,920 Do you think X-Ray Spex 578 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,440 is gonna be bigger          than The Beatles? 579 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,240 -Um, yeah.           -Yeah. Oh, good. 580 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,280 -Positive.        -Good, good.  581 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,280 We tried to be different.          We had saxophones. 582 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,080 We had a female singer. 583 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,200 And Poly's voice, she could  blow them out of the water. 584 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,040 I mean, did you ever think 585 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,120 that you would     be able to walk out on stage       and send an entire club 586 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:22,440 off their brains? 587 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,840 No, I don't think like that. 588 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,240 All going all around the place? 589 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,640 Richard Branson           of Virgin Records 590 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,480 wanted to sign X-Ray Spex. 591 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,000 And he was really, really keen. 592 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,200 But we went to EMI. 593 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,240 The first time I can remember 594 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,560 that I was aware of her 595 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,040 was seeing her         on "Top of the Pops". 596 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,760 It wouldn't really  even have occurred to me, 597 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,200 at the time, 598 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,200 that she was part         of the punk movement. 599 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,560 But there were things about her 600 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,240 that I thought       was the very best of punk. 601 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,480 I can definitely remember 602 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,880 what happened to me 603 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,680 the first time         I heard Poly's voice. 604 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,840 It was like an awakening for me. 605 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,040 There were a lot of men around, 606 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,000 but obviously being a woman,        and being a young woman, 607 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,120 and I think Poly         being a woman of color 608 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:21,360 on that scene, 609 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:22,600 was another reason             why she became 610 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,120 a huge role model for me. 611 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,720 And I actually started singing  because of her, 612 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,160 to be perfectly honest. 613 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,000 I was Tinkerbell 614 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,680 And you were Peter Pan 615 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,840 In the '80s, when I was little, 616 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,240 Poly Styrene was still 617 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:48,080 a pretty fresh memory           in the pop world. 618 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,200 and people would sometimes      stop my mum in the street 619 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,560 to tell her how much            they loved her. 620 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,840 It didn't really faze me,             to be honest. 621 00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:00,880 It's all I knew. 622 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,200 Her reactions would vary 623 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,680 according to whatever           mood she was in. 624 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,240 She used to joke      that being famous but broke 625 00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:13,800 was the worst of both worlds. 626 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,240 She had all the attention  that comes with fame, 627 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,840 but lacked the means      to protect herself from it. 628 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,560 Seeing Poly on "Top of the Pops" 629 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:27,840 with braces on her teeth, 630 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:29,760 just kind of laughing 631 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,520 and being a normal human being, 632 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:33,760 it was a really, really 633 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,160 powerful statement. 634 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,200 You could see         she'd made an effort, 635 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,440 but she hadn't made that sort of       Twiggy and Clodagh Rodgers, 636 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,560 soft, floaty... 637 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,600 She just wasn't floaty 638 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,400 and that was       just such a bloody relief! 639 00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:50,080 For the regular pop charts, 640 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,240 we were supposed to all  look like Joni Mitchell. 641 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:56,280 Poly was funny looking,  with her braces and... 642 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,720 her unsmooth hair 643 00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:03,160 and her very futuristic style. 644 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,400 I remember        when the album came out, 645 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,120 she was really annoyed 646 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,320 because the record company      had slimmed her image down 647 00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,040 on the front of the album cover, 648 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,760 and BP's as well.        And she was really angry 649 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,120 that somebody       had manipulated her image. 650 00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,320 "Why couldn't they  just put me on as I was?" 651 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,440 Do you dress        to make people laugh, 652 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,200 or to make them think? 653 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,600 I mean, when you          put something on, 654 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:32,760 do you think the idea is 655 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,320 to make people        laugh with you, or... 656 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,720 Somebody said to me that your... 657 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,200 you know, your teeth braces, 658 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,400 somebody said it was       just a device, you know? 659 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,360 -No.            -A stage prop. 660 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:45,800 -It can't come off.             -Can't it? 661 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,680 No, not yet, anyway. 662 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,240 -Is it screwed in?        -No, it's cemented on. 663 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,240 Then again, with those braces  on her teeth, 664 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,760 Poly Styrene       is hardly Linda Ronstadt. 665 00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:03,400 When Mum was young, 666 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,000 she was pretty confident      about the way she looked. 667 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,760 She'd never        been short of admirers. 668 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,600 But the experience            of being famous 669 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,120 made her insecure. 670 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,760 The public scrutiny        over the way she looked 671 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,840 started to grate on her. 672 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,520 She felt like journalists         were celebrating her 673 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:30,720 by insinuating that she was     unattractive and overweight, 674 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:32,960 totally not getting 675 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,320 what she        was trying to achieve by 676 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:40,280 choosing not to over-expose      her voluptuous form on stage. 677 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,520 I don't want to become        totally self-indulgent, 678 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,760 because I write things  that other people can relate to. 679 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,240 If I get totally into myself,  I won't be able to do that. 680 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,440 What I write will just become          a reflection of me, 681 00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,920 instead of a reflection          of everything else. 682 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,240 For some people that works,     but it's not what I'm about. 683 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,240 I don't personally want to      indulge in my own fantasy, 684 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:09,600 my own self-image. 685 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,760 People make difficulties 686 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,160 within the entertainment               industry. 687 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,760 Certainly,         they make difficulties 688 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,200 for young women of colour, 689 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,120 there's absolutely          no doubt about that. 690 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:31,760 Young women of any ethnicity, 691 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,800 I think,        find it quite difficult. 692 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,560 I think she needed time off. 693 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:40,880 She needed, 694 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,320 she definitely        needed respite periods, 695 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,600 and as everybody knows         in the music business      and when you're setting up, 696 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,000 it's go, go, go, go, 697 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,560 and I think that  was totally destructive for her, 698 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,040 it really was. 699 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,400 "My God, our name and fame 700 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,080 is spread all over      the three worlds. 701 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,400 'We will be famous          just for one day.' 702 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:19,880 David Bowie. 703 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,200 'Everybody will be famous          for 15 minutes.' 704 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,880 Andy Warhol. 705 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,920 'I am a cliché.' 706 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,240 Poly Styrene." 707 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:40,520 This one is called          "Let's Submerge". 708 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,640 It's dark and eerie    And it's really late 709 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,840 Come on, kids  Don't hesitate 710 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,880 We're going down 711 00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,160 To the underground 712 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,800 We're going down 713 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,840 We're going down 714 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,520 To the underground 715 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,880 X-Ray Spex were         one of the first wave 716 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,800 of punk bands from London 717 00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,160 to come to New York. 718 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,920 In New York, punk rock           was a new sort of 719 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,520 youth culture division          that was happening, 720 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:30,600 like investigating this more       sort of nihilist attitude, 721 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,080 with the fallout of hippie     and the fallout of Vietnam, 722 00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,080 and this kind of         failed Utopian ideal. 723 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,080 We went for a residency              in New York 724 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,120 at a venue called CBGB's. 725 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,040 CBGB's was like      a stinky toilet of a place. 726 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,400 It was grungy        and ghastly and stinky. 727 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,040 It's dark and eerie         And it's really late 728 00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,520 Come on, kids  Don't hesitate 729 00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,160 We're going down 730 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,120 To the underground 731 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,000 We're going down 732 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,520 We're going down 733 00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,920 To the underground 734 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:18,520 Everybody below 14th Street,                New York 735 00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,600 was at that gig. 736 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,120 'Cos everybody          would talk about it 737 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,640 throughout the summer. 738 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,240 I can see now 739 00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:33,520 Paul Weller, The Jam,           and Debbie Harry, 740 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:34,680 sitting in the front row, 741 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,240 cheering us on. 742 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,040 Who the fuck are you?        Who the fuck is this? 743 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,680 Oh bondage, up yours! 744 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,400 What was so exciting           about it was that 745 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,880 when they did        "Oh Bondage Up Yours!", 746 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,680 Poly would hand me             the microphone 747 00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,560 to sing "Up yours". 748 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:04,280 It was somewhat      as if I was being knighted. 749 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,280 That was wonderful. 750 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,840 When we were in New York 751 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,200 we did two gigs a night. 752 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,120 In between times,      we went drinking, 753 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,320 went to parties, 754 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:30,320 or met women. 755 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,240 All kinds of things happened. 756 00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:36,560 It was totally          different to London. 757 00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:39,240 Everything was open            the whole time. 758 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,240 Now it seems, "Well, so what?" 759 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,320 But at the time, that was new. 760 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,160 Put on the TV,         had tons of channels. 761 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,240 We only had three at home. 762 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,160 In New York,        this is like the future. 763 00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,000 Oh, is this "Tomorrow's World",  you think? 764 00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,600 I don't know what program it is. 765 00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:04,480 Unlike our grandparents, 766 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,280 we live in a world that we made. 767 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,440 We are crammed  like battery hens with stimuli. 768 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,280 Capitalism, plus electronics, 769 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,240 gave us a new habitat. 770 00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:16,640 Our forest of media. 771 00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,680 For the first time ever, save $5 772 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,440 on our original, realistic         pocket weather radio. 773 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,560 Now on sale         at Radio Shack stores, 774 00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:26,840 only $10.95. 775 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,320 Rain or shine, 776 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,600 the exclusive, realistic         pocket weather radio. 777 00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,800 And there's only one place            you can find it. 778 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,720 It wasn't a conscious         attempt to be clever. 779 00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:37,200 I just thought that 780 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,480 I'd write about        all these plastic things 781 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,480 because they seemed to be      creeping in more and more, 782 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:46,320 which is why New York  totally blew me apart. 783 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,480 You'll look so pretty          and have such fun. 784 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,200 I saw everything that         I'd been writing about 785 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,240 in extreme, but for real. 786 00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,640 For them it wasn't a joke,      it was the way they lived. 787 00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:04,280 For me, it was all a joke. 788 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,560 Play with it,    indulge it, have fun with it, 789 00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,880 because there's not really      that much of it over here. 790 00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,720 But when you go there,      it's so bad that you think, 791 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,800 "God, if that's        what it's gonna be like, 792 00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,200 I don't want it." 793 00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,520 The weird thing         about all the plastic 794 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,800 is that people        don't actually like it. 795 00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:26,520 But in order to cope with it, 796 00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:30,920 they develop a perverse  kind of fondness for it, 797 00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,240 which is what I did. 798 00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:36,600 I said, 799 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,440 "Oh, aren't they beautiful      because they're so horrible." 800 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,320 It's very perverse       and I realise that, and... 801 00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:45,760 that was what was so frightening 802 00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,160 about New York. 803 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,440 New York was        the start of something, 804 00:45:55,720 --> 00:45:58,640 a new feeling       she couldn't quite shake. 805 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,760 She started to question  everything around her. 806 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,440 Was any of it real? 807 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,360 I think the consumerism side              of New York 808 00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,920 and the advertising         and the bright lights 809 00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,880 and dazzling lights everywhere, 810 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,680 that did destabilize Poly 811 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,480 and affect the way         she was writing songs. 812 00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,360 -Are you gonna change,            do you think?           -I dunno really. 813 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,840 I mean, we're just changing      already a bit, you know. 814 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,400 Just in the sort of...      You know, just the songs. 815 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,040 It's just the way           everything else 816 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,360 reflects everything else,     and you're just part of it. 817 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,600 So the music       reflects what you feel, 818 00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,400 and also it reflects     what's happening around you. 819 00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,280 The further she went down        the rabbit hole of fame 820 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,040 and all the excess  that goes with that lifestyle, 821 00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:54,640 the more absorbed she became 822 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,240 in the dystopian futurism             of the world 823 00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,560 she was creating          through her lyrics. 824 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,360 I think the artifice            and insincerity 825 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,080 she was surrounded by    in the music industry 826 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:09,760 influenced her. 827 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,360 It influenced      her imagining of a plastic, 828 00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,480 synthetic universe, 829 00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:20,280 where the natural world            has retreated, 830 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:25,480 the final triumph       of everything that's fake. 831 00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:30,480 "I muse over the future 832 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:31,840 and all it may bring. 833 00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,400 I open Pandora's box of hope. 834 00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,160 I envision a time         in the distant future 835 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,920 when synthetics rule. 836 00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:44,760 The downside: 837 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,520 Humankind destroy        the natural environment. 838 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,000 The upside: 839 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,040 Burgers will be cruelty-free,         veggie rubber buns." 840 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:05,120 I clambered over     Mounds and mounds 841 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,200 Of polystyrene foam 842 00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,560 Then fell into      A swimming pool 843 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,760 Filled with fairy snow 844 00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:15,440 And watched the world 845 00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,440 Turn Day-Glo          You know, you know 846 00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:22,720 The world turned Day-Glo               You know 847 00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,400 I wrenched       The nylon curtains back 848 00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,720 As far as they would go 849 00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:41,040 Then peered through    Perspex window panes 850 00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:43,000 At the acrylic road 851 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,560 And watched the world            Turn Day-Glo 852 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,400 You know, you know 853 00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:52,880 The world turned Day-Glo               You know 854 00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,000 Uh-oh 855 00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,120 I think she was aware 856 00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,040 of how society was changing 857 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,840 into a very consumerist society, 858 00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,080 and probably       coming a lot from America. 859 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,760 She saw into the future. 860 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,960 She felt the world           was a monolithic, 861 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:17,360 cruel place, 862 00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:18,560 and why can't it be             a nice place? 863 00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:20,960 All those songs, "Art-I-Ficial", 864 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,440 "Highly Inflammable",    "Genetic Engineering", 865 00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:27,080 all these songs were progression          from the early stuff, 866 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:30,200 which was about relationships          and about herself. 867 00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,480 The consumer society  was there in front of her eyes. 868 00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:45,160 The whole CBGB's experience 869 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,600 changed my mum as a person. 870 00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,880 She was exposed  to the city's seedy underbelly. 871 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:57,000 And she lost whatever    innocence she still had left. 872 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,600 She told me that she      was given something to smoke 873 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,720 at a party there one night, 874 00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,240 and it tipped her over the edge. 875 00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,120 Now she'd also lost her mind. 876 00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,000 There was what you might            call a darkness 877 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,400 to the New York scene 878 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,480 that was very different  from the British scene. 879 00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:27,960 It was much more accepting 880 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,640 of heavy drug use. 881 00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,800 Disco candy was everywhere. 882 00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,720 Hip people took coke in America. 883 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,120 It just turned people             into demons. 884 00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,480 And Poly was that sensitive, 885 00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,280 that no doubt 886 00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,760 she picked up        on that negative energy. 887 00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:58,720 I went to New York. 888 00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,280 It really turned my head. 889 00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:03,640 All that attention, 890 00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,600 they treat you    like you're really different. 891 00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,240 It got to me.  I was worn out and doing drugs 892 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:10,800 and I was smoking a lot. 893 00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,240 People were all around  telling me how wonderful I was. 894 00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,680 I didn't start to          exactly believe it, 895 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,240 but I started to get             very insecure. 896 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,120 -Goodnight.           -Give us a kiss. 897 00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,360 She didn't like           that environment, 898 00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:51,120 she didn't like           "Top of the Pops". 899 00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,280 She didn't like mixing around       all those kind of people. 900 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,560 She felt they were            very superficial 901 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,080 and very not genuine. 902 00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,560 I remember her coming off stage 903 00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:04,600 and totally collapsing 904 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:06,440 and crying her eyes out, 905 00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,360 as if she totally forced herself 906 00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:09,920 to go on stage          in the first place. 907 00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,600 And I could see she wasn't well, 908 00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,200 she wasn't okay. 909 00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:18,280 I mean,       it isn't normal for people 910 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:22,680 to be surrounded with people...  telling them that they're great. 911 00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,680 That isn't a normal situation,  most people do not get that. 912 00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:28,080 It isn't normal to be... 913 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,720 up on stage and people          jumping all over you      and ripping your clothes off, 914 00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:34,040 that isn't a normal thing         for anybody to take. 915 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,000 And then you get people       coming backstage as well, 916 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,680 you get people         coming to your house, 917 00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:41,960 and then you get people          trying to break in, 918 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,800 and then you just get people    surrounding you all the time. 919 00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,760 And you just         are never on your own, 920 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,240 and that's just not normal. 921 00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:51,680 So therefore, you just say,                "Go away,      I don't want to see anybody." 922 00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,720 The thing with Poly 923 00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,240 is that she was 924 00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:05,480 at the same time very resilient 925 00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,600 and yet very vulnerable. 926 00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:12,400 Especially being so much            in the vanguard, 927 00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:17,400 her immediate support system     of people who really got her 928 00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,280 was not that large. 929 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,800 We read every week      in the music trade papers 930 00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,520 the exploits of, say, 931 00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,200 The Sex Pistols          and Johnny Rotten. 932 00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:31,360 Are you a follower     of The Sex Pistols yourself? 933 00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,360 I mean, I like The Sex Pistols. 934 00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:34,800 Yeah, I like them. 935 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,440 'Cos they're sort of  part of our generation, really. 936 00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,800 John Lydon,      who she really liked a lot, 937 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,320 and obviously got a lot  of her inspiration from, 938 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:53,800 was living 'round the corner 939 00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:55,640 at Gunter Grove at this point. 940 00:53:56,720 --> 00:53:59,520 We used to see him,        sometimes, riding along, 941 00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,320 we'd stop and say hello. 942 00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:05,600 She was kind of infatuated, 943 00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:10,120 or at least had a crush      of some sort on John Lydon. 944 00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:14,360 But she felt  not taken seriously by him 945 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,560 and the rest of them. 946 00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,440 Apparently, Sid Vicious      had locked her in a cupboard 947 00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:21,400 under the stairs. 948 00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:23,800 She asked where the loo was 949 00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:25,680 and he tricked her  into going into this cupboard, 950 00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,360 slammed the door           and locked her in           for about an hour. 951 00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,920 Yeah, she was really,  really upset by that. 952 00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,680 They were lads,          they were laddiest, 953 00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,400 unthinking, mean things. 954 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,080 Undercutting things, 955 00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:43,280 things designed  to make you feel like nothing. 956 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,200 Like, worse than nothing. 957 00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:47,280 As if they         had no regard for you. 958 00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:53,920 That was the sort of milieu        that Poly encountered, 959 00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:56,320 that encouraged her 960 00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:59,320 to go into the toilet           at John's house. 961 00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,040 I was 'round        at Johnny Rotten's place 962 00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,240 and Poly turned up at the door. 963 00:55:06,240 --> 00:55:08,680 Which was a brave thing,              'cos you go        around to John's place, 964 00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:10,720 it's like baptism by fire. 965 00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,760 I remember         she was sitting there 966 00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,360 and not really saying much. 967 00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:18,600 And we were shooting the breeze         and being typical lads 968 00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:19,880 and sort of ignoring her. 969 00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:22,760 And at some point        during the conversation, 970 00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:24,400 during the night, 971 00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:25,800 she'd got up      and went into the bathroom. 972 00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,800 And no one        thought anything of it. 973 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,800 And then I guess we        were talking for a while 974 00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,440 and not realized she'd been gone 975 00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:50,080 for like, half an hour. 976 00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:53,680 And then we heard         the bathroom door open 977 00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,200 and we looked up, 978 00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:56,320 and she started to        walk down the stairs... 979 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000 And she'd cut all her hair off. 980 00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,840 I'll be honest with you,      we were totally insensitive            to the moment. 981 00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,960 The thing is, she had      a gig coming up.   982 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,840 What do you do?       She'd got a gig coming up, 983 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,400 at Victoria Park, massive gig. 984 00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,400 The National Front           is a Nazi front! 985 00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,800 We played        at Rock Against Racism, 986 00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:50,880 along with Tom Robinson Band, 987 00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,120 The Clash, Sham 69. 988 00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:56,040 There were 80,000 people there. 989 00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,440 That was a really huge gig. 990 00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:03,840 If you were ever        at one of those events, 991 00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,680 like the big events           in Victoria Park, 992 00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,560 it made one feel that 993 00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,760 one was part of a positive army 994 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,160 of like-minded people.    You felt so empowered. 995 00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,520 You really felt          that this generation 996 00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:22,000 had made racism and      fascism laughable and passé. 997 00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:26,240 When we were driving             to the venue, 998 00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,360 and Poly was wearing            a woollen scarf 999 00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,240 wrapped around her head,             and she said, 1000 00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:31,840 "Oh, I shaved          my head last night." 1001 00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,480 And Falcon said, 1002 00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,440 "Well, you bloody well       do not take that scarf off 1003 00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:36,520 while you're performing." 1004 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,680 And she winked  and said, "Oh no, I won't." 1005 00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:43,400 Halfway through          the song "Identity", 1006 00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:48,160 she was going "Identity..."  and she started to unravel it. 1007 00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,640 She did it in a kind of 1008 00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,480 seductive, teasing manner. 1009 00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:55,360 She started hovering her hand      around the top of her head 1010 00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,160 and taking       bits of it off like that. 1011 00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,720 By the time she got to the end  there was gasps at the front 1012 00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,080 of the audience,          going "Oh my God..." 1013 00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,600 "Skinhead!" 1014 00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:16,800 Falcon was going mad about it. 1015 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,240 We all laughed our heads off. 1016 00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,560 She said she didn't        want to be a sex symbol. 1017 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:24,480 And she'd said          if she ever thought       she was turning into one, 1018 00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:25,640 she'd shave her hair off. 1019 00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:27,080 And that's what she did. 1020 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,000 She wasn't the first woman 1021 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,480 to shave her head         in an act of defiance, 1022 00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,520 and she certainly         wouldn't be the last. 1023 00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:48,720 It was a powerful statement, 1024 00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,000 but it was also a cry for help. 1025 00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,040 She really needed a break. 1026 00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,840 There was so much            pressure on her 1027 00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:00,480 to keep doing it. 1028 00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,040 Something had to give. 1029 00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:14,040 The moment        that changed me forever 1030 00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:17,120 was seeing a Day-Glo UFO 1031 00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:20,040 in Doncaster one night            after a concert. 1032 00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,560 It was a bright ball           of luminous pink, 1033 00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,680 made of energy, like a fireball. 1034 00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,240 Everyone else thought          I'd lost the plot. 1035 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:37,480 It was the last leg            of their tour. 1036 00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,360 She'd gone up  to her hotel room after the gig. 1037 00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:42,600 And she said all of a sudden, 1038 00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:46,880 she saw this bright light              in the sky, 1039 00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:48,600 in the night sky, that... 1040 00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:50,720 didn't appear to be a star. 1041 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:52,760 It seemed to be moving, 1042 00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:53,480 getting bigger and bigger, 1043 00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,240 and what's more,       it was coming towards her. 1044 00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,360 And it zoomed         right up to the window 1045 00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:00,600 and seemed to be      probing the room, 1046 01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,800 hovering there,           taking it all in, 1047 01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:06,800 and she's sat there,             like, frozen. 1048 01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,440 She'd said at breakfast time             the next day, 1049 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,240 "Oh, I saw        a flying saucer outside. 1050 01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:16,960 It's told me to give up 1051 01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,520 the electric       and plastic way of life." 1052 01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:20,520 "Go for a simple life." 1053 01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:23,560 We said,        "What are you on about?" 1054 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,680 Took no notice,  got in the car. 1055 01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:29,440 And in the car, she started        taking her clothes off, 1056 01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,080 saying,          "I want to go back, 1057 01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,560 I want to be Marianne,          I want to go back." 1058 01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:40,840 She was a very,         very sensitive person. 1059 01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,680 And she       was almost like a sponge. 1060 01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,640 She would absorb 1061 01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:50,880 lots of things      which were going around her, 1062 01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:53,480 for better or for worse. 1063 01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:59,160 When you put somebody      which is so hyper-sensitive 1064 01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,560 and so open and so intelligent, 1065 01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:03,680 and then you put them          in this environment 1066 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:07,200 where there's  all this different mix of people 1067 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:09,520 wanting different things, 1068 01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,320 'cos, you know,  she was a commodity as well... 1069 01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,640 it wasn't a conducive place             for her to be 1070 01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,080 for who she was. 1071 01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:26,240 I mean, she was telling me       when she was even younger, 1072 01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,720 when she was         like three years old, 1073 01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:31,640 she thought that, you know,         she'd met some people           from outer space. 1074 01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,280 She was such a high being. 1075 01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:37,480 A very high, spiritual being, 1076 01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,520 even when she         went off the rockers. 1077 01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,160 I mean, I remember      when we were walking through 1078 01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,400 Kensington Gardens             one afternoon. 1079 01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,160 She saw these crows. 1080 01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,440 You know,        she says that they're... 1081 01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:54,840 Like the Vikings used to say 1082 01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:56,200 they were the eyes of Odin, 1083 01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:58,120 and all that. 1084 01:01:58,120 --> 01:01:59,880 She said, "Watch them,    they're watching us." 1085 01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:08,240 People started saying         she'd lost the plot, 1086 01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:10,400 that she'd gone mad. 1087 01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,200 But she didn't see it that way. 1088 01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:19,080 She felt that         she was going through 1089 01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:22,240 some kind        of spiritual awakening. 1090 01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:24,680 That she could see things 1091 01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,840 that others         were too blind to see. 1092 01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,360 My mother thought          I was hallucinating, 1093 01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,720 and I was put in the Maudsley. 1094 01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,200 'Cos if you see things            and hear voices, 1095 01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:45,360 you are considered         to have schizophrenia. 1096 01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:55,560 The first time she saw herself  singing on the telly, 1097 01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:58,840 she was on a psychiatric ward. 1098 01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,280 Men in white coats            carted her away 1099 01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:05,200 after an episode. 1100 01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,600 There were lots of episodes. 1101 01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:12,400 One worse than the other. 1102 01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:18,680 She was misdiagnosed           with schizophrenia 1103 01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:25,240 when in fact she was suffering  from acute bipolar disorder. 1104 01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:36,560 It felt like a bad omen. 1105 01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,280 Like I was         doing something wrong. 1106 01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:42,880 Misguiding people. 1107 01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,280 I was dealing with a lot, 1108 01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:49,040 and then to be given           a label like that, 1109 01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,400 only to find out later             that I wasn't, 1110 01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:55,560 and that they had got it wrong,         was really difficult. 1111 01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:00,360 They said to me, 1112 01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:03,640 "You're a young girl      who has got out of her depth 1113 01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:06,600 and you will never        be able to work again." 1114 01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:12,320 That is a very hard thing           to be told at 21. 1115 01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:19,400 I'm sorry I didn't treat             her very good. 1116 01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:21,720 I wasn't really        sympathetic at the time. 1117 01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:25,880 I was worried,      but mainly for my own self. 1118 01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:28,000 Selfish. 1119 01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,480 The only thing           that really worked 1120 01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:40,680 were the drugs they gave her        when she was sectioned. 1121 01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:45,000 They would pin her down            and inject her 1122 01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:46,320 with tranquillisers 1123 01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,080 strong enough         to knock a horse out. 1124 01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,320 I saw my mum       being sedated many times. 1125 01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:58,000 I must have been          about four years old 1126 01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:00,640 when I realised        something wasn't right. 1127 01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:07,480 Suddenly I was able to detect       the changes in her mood, 1128 01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:12,320 the constant cycle        of elation and despair. 1129 01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:17,720 I'll never forget those nights 1130 01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:21,960 when the sensation      that someone was watching me 1131 01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:26,000 was so strong      that I'd wake up in a panic, 1132 01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:30,600 only to see her shadow    at the foot of my bed. 1133 01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:35,200 She'd stand        in the corner of my room 1134 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:37,400 watching me as I slept... 1135 01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:41,680 her eyes wide with fear. 1136 01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,920 I was scared too, 1137 01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:48,880 scared of her. 1138 01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:09,080 I know your antiseptic 1139 01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:13,000 Your deodorant smells nice 1140 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,200 The show must go on,               they said. 1141 01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,080 So, she tried to      keep it together. 1142 01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:21,520 Keep singing, keep performing. 1143 01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:24,880 The medication          helped for a period, 1144 01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,080 but she was starting              to push back 1145 01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:29,440 against the pressure. 1146 01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:32,400 to keep up the façade           of Poly Styrene. 1147 01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,600 I'm like an actress         that's something else. 1148 01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:41,240 On stage I'm one thing 1149 01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:43,000 and off stage          I'm something else. 1150 01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:45,800 But most people are not. 1151 01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:50,240 I just consider myself           as a person first, 1152 01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:51,840 and anything else, 1153 01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:53,880 what anybody else         might call you, well, 1154 01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:56,760 they're just names,     really, aren't they? 1155 01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:00,320 Just given to trends and people 1156 01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:01,680 and things like that. 1157 01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:24,840 I think a lot of people thought, 1158 01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,840 "Oh, Poly Styrene's gone mad." 1159 01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:29,800 She had a brilliant band, 1160 01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:31,200 she had all the success, 1161 01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:34,840 and suddenly       just walked away from it. 1162 01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,960 It took an incredible          amount of strength 1163 01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:46,000 for my mum to walk away           from X-Ray Spex, 1164 01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:50,200 the band she herself           had put together, 1165 01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:53,520 the band that was doing so well. 1166 01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:57,160 They were at the height           of their success. 1167 01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:01,520 I think she understood that 1168 01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:04,440 the only way she could           continue to exist 1169 01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:06,280 as an authentic person, 1170 01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:10,040 as someone        who was true to herself, 1171 01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:14,040 was to kill the persona            she'd created. 1172 01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:18,600 Poly Styrene had to die 1173 01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,600 so Marianne Elliott            could survive. 1174 01:08:41,400 --> 01:08:43,120 "Read   Time   magazine 1175 01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:45,720 over continental breakfast        in the south of France. 1176 01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,280 Genetic possibilities    filled glossy pages. 1177 01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:56,280 On a golden stretch     of sand in Cannes, 1178 01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:57,760 I worshipped the sun god, 1179 01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:01,880 in a sunshine yellow           towelling bikini." 1180 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,440 When I'd met her, 1181 01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:08,400 she'd been        in a convalescence place 1182 01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,800 to get over the traumas. 1183 01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:15,760 I was staying in a flat,      just off the King's Road, 1184 01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:20,760 and one night, we walked past  this quite flashy designer shop. 1185 01:09:21,960 --> 01:09:24,120 And she was outside,         looking in the window. 1186 01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:30,440 She was dressed in  a sort of '50s-type flared skirt 1187 01:09:30,480 --> 01:09:33,200 and hair sort of         straightened and long 1188 01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:34,320 and white stilettos. 1189 01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:38,640 Anyway, I thought,         "I can't let this go." 1190 01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:40,600 So as we were         walking past, I said, 1191 01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:42,280 "Ah, you're Poly," 1192 01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:44,200 and invited her to come       and have a drink with us. 1193 01:09:53,280 --> 01:09:58,400 All alone         In a tropical garden 1194 01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:07,160 Parakeet trills            Slowly harden 1195 01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:11,720 It was all rather whirlwind. 1196 01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:15,240 They were        inseparable for a time. 1197 01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:19,280 They didn't even tell anyone  when they got married 1198 01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:22,840 at the Chelsea Registry Office  on the King's Road. 1199 01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:26,280 Oh, yeah, we got married. 1200 01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:28,120 We got married in the September, 1201 01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:30,040 we only met in June. 1202 01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:34,600 After, I dunno,      three months of meeting Poly 1203 01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:36,200 she was pregnant. 1204 01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:40,400 Mum was 24 years old            when I was born. 1205 01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:45,760 She told me that having me  was the best thing she ever did. 1206 01:10:46,480 --> 01:10:48,920 But motherhood was a challenge. 1207 01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:54,440 Her mental        health was still fragile 1208 01:10:54,480 --> 01:10:57,880 and there were times  when she couldn't look after me. 1209 01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:03,960 It was hard for my father,            he was so young. 1210 01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:06,880 They were both kids, really. 1211 01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:11,560 I knew that Poly           had been admitted, 1212 01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,360 you know,        sectioned and all that. 1213 01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:15,760 I still loved her, though. 1214 01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:18,680 I'm obviously gonna      stick it out no matter what. 1215 01:11:26,440 --> 01:11:27,880 Just as I met her, 1216 01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:30,280 her album was coming out,             Translucence. 1217 01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:32,080 The solo album. 1218 01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:35,440 If you listen to the lyrics,        it's totally different. 1219 01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:39,720 How you make such a jump          from that power pop 1220 01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:43,440 to something almost akin          to Joan Armatrading? 1221 01:11:50,680 --> 01:11:52,040 It seemed like she'd been 1222 01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:53,720 through some kind of trauma. 1223 01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:59,080 And music was her way    of dealing with that. 1224 01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:07,760 For people that have had  bad times in life in some way, 1225 01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:10,800 music can be a way of,       like, healing themselves. 1226 01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:13,480 She was after that      in her own music. 1227 01:12:15,480 --> 01:12:17,680 So, I was there        for all the interviews, 1228 01:12:17,680 --> 01:12:19,800 and, you know,       journalists coming 'round. 1229 01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:21,520 But their reviews          were really damning. 1230 01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:27,040 Like totally. Like,  "What is this bollocks?" almost. 1231 01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:30,800 EMI, dismayed 1232 01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:33,960 at the negative        response from the press, 1233 01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,680 said "That's it." 1234 01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:37,680 They obviously had the option            on their side. 1235 01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:54,440 Now it just went           from bad to worse, 1236 01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:55,880 to be honest with you. 1237 01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:57,840 I was on the dole. 1238 01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:01,840 There was mass unemployment          back then, really. 1239 01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:04,360 We ended up at my mum's 1240 01:13:04,960 --> 01:13:06,600 and then her mum's, 1241 01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,600 and then,        she'd had enough of it. 1242 01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,480 She went off to India. 1243 01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:18,360 And Celeste and I,         we stayed at my mum's. 1244 01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:22,000 I think she really decided then 1245 01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:25,040 she was gonna go head-first        into the Indian scene. 1246 01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:28,880 She started dressing           like proper saris 1247 01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:31,120 and with a dot on the forehead. 1248 01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:34,760 And so she went back to London 1249 01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:37,280 and threw her lot in         with the Hare Krishna. 1250 01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:41,080 And I mean everything,  all her furniture, everything. 1251 01:13:41,800 --> 01:13:43,440 Moved in with them. 1252 01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:48,440 This is Bhaktivedanta Manor           in Hertfordshire, 1253 01:13:48,440 --> 01:13:50,360 European Headquarters    of the Hare Krishna movement. 1254 01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:53,480 George Harrison      bought it for them last year. 1255 01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,360 Most of their day      is spent worshipping Krishna 1256 01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:00,040 and learning his philosophy       of perfect consciousness. 1257 01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:05,840 I think it was The Beatles          and George Harrison, 1258 01:14:05,840 --> 01:14:07,440 that's how we got into it. 1259 01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:10,280 She was a hippie, really. 1260 01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:12,520 Too sensitive for the world. 1261 01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:18,000 She needed something to give her       some stability in her life. 1262 01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:26,800 I was a small child 1263 01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:29,080 when we went         to live in the manor. 1264 01:14:30,080 --> 01:14:33,200 I understand  why she wanted us to live there, 1265 01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,360 surrounded by nature, 1266 01:14:36,600 --> 01:14:38,960 and full of little         Hare Krishna children 1267 01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,480 I could play with. 1268 01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:44,120 She changed her name yet again. 1269 01:14:44,920 --> 01:14:46,320 This time it was a name 1270 01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:49,640 given to her         by her guru, Bhagavan. 1271 01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:52,920 Now she went by Maharani. 1272 01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:58,560 He gave me a name too,             Radha Shakti. 1273 01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:03,760 X-Ray Spex saxophone player              Lora Logic 1274 01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:05,440 joined the Hare Krishna movement 1275 01:15:05,440 --> 01:15:08,040 at around the same time              as my mum. 1276 01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:13,560 They'd fallen out after Mum  cruelly sacked her from the band 1277 01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:15,120 during the Roxy era, 1278 01:15:16,400 --> 01:15:20,720 but they found a common purpose       in Krishna consciousness, 1279 01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:22,680 which brought them             back together. 1280 01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:26,000 I don't think          it was coincidence, 1281 01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:28,080 I think it was highly planned 1282 01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:31,600 by the universal laws,      'cos nothing's an accident. 1283 01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:35,000 But I was a bit surprised. 1284 01:15:36,640 --> 01:15:39,120 We had to relate      on the platform of the fact 1285 01:15:39,120 --> 01:15:41,360 that we were equal spirit souls, 1286 01:15:42,640 --> 01:15:47,080 and a platform where  there's no false ego or pride. 1287 01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:51,240 Yeah, she changed,      she changed a lot. 1288 01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:55,640 I went to        the Hare Krishna temple 1289 01:15:55,640 --> 01:15:57,160 with her a few times,       actually into the temple. 1290 01:15:58,400 --> 01:16:00,040 And she was very different           in the temple. 1291 01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:02,640 She was very hypnotised by it. 1292 01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:07,200 The Hare Krishna kind of         saved her in a sense, 1293 01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:10,600 it gave her       another world to exist in. 1294 01:16:13,840 --> 01:16:15,480 She's fragile, you know, 1295 01:16:15,480 --> 01:16:17,400 and I think they provided           a family for her, 1296 01:16:17,760 --> 01:16:19,240 and a comfort. 1297 01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:22,480 More than punk, than music,       more than being creative, 1298 01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:24,960 the Hare Krishna was      a central pillar of her life, 1299 01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:26,680 and it was        really important to her. 1300 01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:38,440 As hard as she tried, 1301 01:16:38,480 --> 01:16:41,680 my mother couldn't completely         escape her past life. 1302 01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:47,080 Those past traumas        continued to haunt her, 1303 01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:51,040 and she would suffer  a series of nervous breakdowns 1304 01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:53,440 during our time in the temple. 1305 01:16:57,800 --> 01:17:00,120 She was very        mentally unstable then, 1306 01:17:01,040 --> 01:17:02,680 and she looked so disturbed. 1307 01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:08,640 It was probably triggered  by so many things: hormones, 1308 01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:10,840 giving birth, 1309 01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:12,200 and then        the whole new experience 1310 01:17:12,200 --> 01:17:14,120 of living in a temple. 1311 01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:20,120 She used to do some      wacky things in the temple. 1312 01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:22,160 I mean, she'd be, like, 1313 01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:23,720 in the temple room     with no clothes on. 1314 01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:28,640 She'd be chasing         celibate monks around, 1315 01:17:28,640 --> 01:17:30,200 who were in their pyjamas. 1316 01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:33,960 She went to India, 1317 01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:38,240 and she'd have to be      put on a plane and flown home 1318 01:17:38,240 --> 01:17:41,200 because she completely lost it. 1319 01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:46,040 I think a lot of it  was just due to lack of sleep. 1320 01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:47,400 She didn't sleep. 1321 01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:52,200 She didn't know how to    look after herself very well. 1322 01:17:53,440 --> 01:17:55,720 It's like she was        never quite in her body, 1323 01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:59,160 she was always somewhere else. 1324 01:18:00,480 --> 01:18:02,720 It was probably         all too much for her. 1325 01:18:08,680 --> 01:18:11,200 Our heaven had become a hell, 1326 01:18:12,160 --> 01:18:14,520 and it was        about to get much worse. 1327 01:18:17,640 --> 01:18:20,480 We moved into a house           near the temple, 1328 01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:22,640 and my mother eventually 1329 01:18:22,640 --> 01:18:24,400 took me out       of the children's ashram, 1330 01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:29,200 which was a kind of      Hare Krishna boarding school. 1331 01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:32,800 I was truly isolated now. 1332 01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:37,200 She hadn't been able      to leave the house for weeks, 1333 01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:39,480 and my little stomach 1334 01:18:39,520 --> 01:18:41,880 was as empty       as the kitchen cupboards. 1335 01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:47,680 One day I climbed out of           my bedroom window 1336 01:18:48,760 --> 01:18:51,280 and left home  with the social workers. 1337 01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:56,760 The nosy neighbours  were concerned for my welfare. 1338 01:18:58,800 --> 01:18:59,840 I had to leave, 1339 01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,440 for the sake        of my own mental health. 1340 01:19:05,160 --> 01:19:07,360 I know it broke her heart. 1341 01:19:08,920 --> 01:19:10,280 I abandoned my mother 1342 01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:12,880 and the world        she had created for me. 1343 01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:18,720 And it had been       a beautiful world, Mataji. 1344 01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:45,800 I was eight years old 1345 01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:47,280 when I went to live     with my grandmother, 1346 01:19:48,240 --> 01:19:51,200 who was eventually         granted custody of me 1347 01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:53,600 after a long         and bitter court case. 1348 01:19:56,320 --> 01:19:58,840 It was clear         Mum had neglected me. 1349 01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:01,680 I was three and a half stone 1350 01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:03,760 when I was removed             from her care. 1351 01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:06,880 I needed years of therapy. 1352 01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:15,000 To say that I was an angry kid 1353 01:20:15,040 --> 01:20:16,760 would be an understatement. 1354 01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:20,920 I told the court      I wanted to live with my nan, 1355 01:20:22,080 --> 01:20:23,360 the ultimate betrayal 1356 01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,400 as far as my mother            was concerned. 1357 01:20:32,800 --> 01:20:35,880 Our relationship      was pretty rough for a while, 1358 01:20:37,120 --> 01:20:41,040 lots of shouting,  slammed doors and angry tears. 1359 01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:46,440 She pushed me         down the stairs once, 1360 01:20:47,240 --> 01:20:49,360 and I never let her forget it. 1361 01:20:53,360 --> 01:20:54,720 She wasn't in her right            mind of course, 1362 01:20:56,280 --> 01:20:59,920 but I blamed her for ever      bringing me into this world. 1363 01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:07,880 But time is the greatest           healer, they say. 1364 01:21:09,480 --> 01:21:11,240 And we eventually 1365 01:21:11,240 --> 01:21:13,400 found it in our hearts  to forgive one another. 1366 01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:20,560 She moved to Hastings          in the early 2000s 1367 01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:23,480 and I moved to Madrid, 1368 01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:26,720 but despite, 1369 01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:30,320 or maybe thanks to being      thousands of miles apart, 1370 01:21:31,040 --> 01:21:32,920 we were closer than ever. 1371 01:21:36,240 --> 01:21:38,080 The slow pace of the town 1372 01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:40,040 and the calming effect               of the sea 1373 01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:43,240 restored a kind           of mental balance 1374 01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:45,640 my mother had lost          all those years ago. 1375 01:21:49,040 --> 01:21:51,840 She was refreshed and energised, 1376 01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:55,680 ready to start          creating once more. 1377 01:21:58,520 --> 01:22:01,480 She was even ready            to get on stage, 1378 01:22:02,920 --> 01:22:06,000 something she had sworn       she would never do again. 1379 01:22:56,120 --> 01:23:00,080 How do you feel now? 1380 01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:02,800 I want to know 1381 01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:06,120 Clear as a crystal 1382 01:23:06,120 --> 01:23:10,000 I can see your face 1383 01:23:11,360 --> 01:23:13,080 I think it was Poly's last gig, 1384 01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:14,440 which none of us were to know. 1385 01:23:14,440 --> 01:23:16,600 But I remember         she was on fine form, 1386 01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:19,240 and you gotta understand,           I hadn't seen her         since the Roxy days. 1387 01:23:19,280 --> 01:23:21,040 And she'd       been through a whole load 1388 01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:22,560 of trials and tribulations. 1389 01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:24,920 And to see her       come through all of that, 1390 01:23:26,040 --> 01:23:28,080 it looked like         the sky was the limit, 1391 01:23:28,080 --> 01:23:29,480 and that there was 1392 01:23:29,520 --> 01:23:31,640 a whole new lease        of life in front of her. 1393 01:23:35,480 --> 01:23:37,040 Up until a few hours before, 1394 01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:38,720 I never really was sure  if she was gonna do it. 1395 01:23:40,200 --> 01:23:43,640 It was very, very difficult  for her to get the confidence. 1396 01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:49,240 Mum had been taking         medication on and off 1397 01:23:49,280 --> 01:23:50,760 for her bipolar disorder 1398 01:23:51,640 --> 01:23:53,440 since her first breakdown. 1399 01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:56,640 I'd always felt that 1400 01:23:56,680 --> 01:23:58,520 she didn't take her meds      as often as she should have, 1401 01:23:59,640 --> 01:24:03,040 and it was a real source      of contention between us. 1402 01:24:04,480 --> 01:24:06,200 She felt the medication 1403 01:24:06,200 --> 01:24:09,800 had a dampening effect      on her creative expression. 1404 01:24:11,320 --> 01:24:13,120 But she realised 1405 01:24:13,160 --> 01:24:15,880 she wouldn't be able to get     through the gig without it. 1406 01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:21,960 She was terrified that  the anxiety of performing live 1407 01:24:21,960 --> 01:24:24,800 would lead to         yet another breakdown. 1408 01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:28,400 But despite all that, 1409 01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:30,600 she gathered         the courage she needed 1410 01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:34,080 to get on stage  in front of thousands of people. 1411 01:24:35,440 --> 01:24:38,640 And even if she was       pretty heavily medicated, 1412 01:24:39,320 --> 01:24:41,040 she kicked arse out there, 1413 01:24:41,840 --> 01:24:43,560 gave it all she had. 1414 01:24:44,480 --> 01:24:46,600 I was so proud of her. 1415 01:24:46,600 --> 01:24:48,520 One, two, three, four! 1416 01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:52,680 I joined her on stage 1417 01:24:52,680 --> 01:24:55,640 for an encore       of "Oh Bondage Up Yours!". 1418 01:24:57,120 --> 01:24:58,920 It was beyond amazing. 1419 01:25:00,360 --> 01:25:03,200 Bind me, tie me         Chain me to the wall 1420 01:25:03,240 --> 01:25:05,560 I wanna be          A slave to you all 1421 01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:08,240 Oh bondage, up yours! 1422 01:25:08,240 --> 01:25:10,680 Oh bondage, no more! 1423 01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:13,360 Oh bondage, up yours! 1424 01:25:13,360 --> 01:25:15,480 Oh bondage, no more! 1425 01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:44,840 Now the moment had come,            I felt strange. 1426 01:25:46,480 --> 01:25:48,880 Half scared, half excited. 1427 01:25:51,440 --> 01:25:53,400 It was weird         looking at the things 1428 01:25:53,400 --> 01:25:55,560 I'd always taken for granted. 1429 01:25:57,560 --> 01:25:59,640 Never bothered to think about. 1430 01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:03,840 Things like pets, 1431 01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:06,120 friends, 1432 01:26:08,680 --> 01:26:10,320 places I went to. 1433 01:26:13,000 --> 01:26:15,600 But I knew I had to go then,           or I never would. 1434 01:26:22,760 --> 01:26:24,320 She had just finished recording 1435 01:26:24,320 --> 01:26:27,520 a new album, Generation Indigo  , 1436 01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:29,200 when we found out 1437 01:26:29,200 --> 01:26:30,920 she had breast cancer. 1438 01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:33,960 Those last months, 1439 01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:35,760 when we were blissfully unaware 1440 01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:38,360 of the disease that had      already spread to her bones, 1441 01:26:39,240 --> 01:26:40,560 were some of the happiest times 1442 01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:42,560 I ever spent with my mother. 1443 01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:45,280 We worked together on the album, 1444 01:26:46,400 --> 01:26:48,800 writing and recording              new tracks. 1445 01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:51,560 She was in her element, really, 1446 01:26:52,320 --> 01:26:53,320 doing what she knew best. 1447 01:26:54,680 --> 01:26:57,120 And I was so lucky      to be able to do it with her. 1448 01:26:58,720 --> 01:27:02,440 I hit the button called send 1449 01:27:02,480 --> 01:27:05,280 You're my virtual boyfriend 1450 01:27:05,280 --> 01:27:08,600 You're like a MySpace friend  That's all 1451 01:27:09,440 --> 01:27:12,680 Just a text or a missed call 1452 01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:17,040 I just thought it was funny,      'cos everybody were having     these relationships online. 1453 01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,400 And it's great,    but you never see each other. 1454 01:27:20,440 --> 01:27:22,280 Well, you probably do sometimes. 1455 01:27:22,280 --> 01:27:23,480 But I just thought, 1456 01:27:23,480 --> 01:27:25,680 why not write       a love song about that? 1457 01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:28,240 You're not meeting,        but you're actually... 1458 01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:31,200 And then at the end,      just press delete to end. 1459 01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:33,800 I found working with her 1460 01:27:33,800 --> 01:27:36,040 very life-affirming. 1461 01:27:37,360 --> 01:27:40,040 Even when she was      at death's door, ironically. 1462 01:27:41,240 --> 01:27:45,480 She had a great          spiritual perception 1463 01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:48,440 that was wrought         from hard experience. 1464 01:28:12,800 --> 01:28:16,080 I finally took        my mum's ashes to India, 1465 01:28:16,640 --> 01:28:18,160 to Vrindavan, 1466 01:28:19,040 --> 01:28:21,720 the holy city on the banks          of the Yamuna River, 1467 01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:25,280 the place        where Krishna was born. 1468 01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:29,000 This was her last request. 1469 01:28:39,280 --> 01:28:43,320 Being there was almost          metamorphic for me. 1470 01:28:44,840 --> 01:28:46,720 I saw with my own eyes 1471 01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:49,480 everything she had told me            about the place. 1472 01:28:52,000 --> 01:28:55,240 Everywhere I went,          I felt her presence, 1473 01:28:56,520 --> 01:29:00,440 and I was able to understand her            a little better. 1474 01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:15,360 She'd wanted to take me there            for many years. 1475 01:29:16,440 --> 01:29:19,000 But a spiritual pilgrimage                to India 1476 01:29:19,000 --> 01:29:22,360 didn't have much appeal  when I was a teenager. 1477 01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:27,000 I went through a period 1478 01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:30,320 where I rejected everything       that my mum cared about, 1479 01:29:31,640 --> 01:29:34,480 including her religious beliefs. 1480 01:29:52,800 --> 01:29:55,440 I was angry for a long time. 1481 01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:01,560 I felt my mum       hadn't lived up to my idea 1482 01:30:01,600 --> 01:30:04,080 of what a good mother should be. 1483 01:30:06,680 --> 01:30:09,720 I just wished          I had normal parents 1484 01:30:09,720 --> 01:30:11,440 and a normal childhood, 1485 01:30:12,720 --> 01:30:15,840 where my mother      didn't have a mental illness, 1486 01:30:16,520 --> 01:30:18,320 wasn't a Hare Krishna, 1487 01:30:18,760 --> 01:30:20,560 had a regular job, 1488 01:30:21,680 --> 01:30:24,920 didn't have         so many crazy friends. 1489 01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:31,240 But by the time I started         to really appreciate 1490 01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:34,640 how lucky I was  to have such a remarkable woman 1491 01:30:34,640 --> 01:30:37,080 as a mother and a role model, 1492 01:30:37,680 --> 01:30:39,560 it was too late. 1493 01:30:40,560 --> 01:30:42,960 She was leaving her body. 1494 01:30:49,080 --> 01:30:51,880 Everything about her           was inspirational. 1495 01:30:53,080 --> 01:30:55,720 She was born an inspiration. 1496 01:30:55,720 --> 01:30:58,040 She was, she was just... 1497 01:30:58,040 --> 01:30:59,880 That's who she was. 1498 01:30:59,880 --> 01:31:01,920 That's who she was. 1499 01:31:06,280 --> 01:31:07,720 The legacy of someone like Poly 1500 01:31:07,720 --> 01:31:10,040 cannot be overstated. 1501 01:31:10,640 --> 01:31:12,000 What she did 1502 01:31:12,040 --> 01:31:13,240 stands as a great example              for women, 1503 01:31:14,720 --> 01:31:17,240 not only in the 21st century,  I think it'll stand forever. 1504 01:31:18,080 --> 01:31:20,040 Because she was brave, man. 1505 01:31:23,800 --> 01:31:25,080 There is something 1506 01:31:25,120 --> 01:31:27,040 in Poly's sound           and in her voice, 1507 01:31:27,040 --> 01:31:29,000 in her expression,             in her lyrics 1508 01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:30,520 and in who she was. 1509 01:31:31,720 --> 01:31:33,440 You could say        it's anti-establishment, 1510 01:31:33,440 --> 01:31:36,760 or it's anti-this and anti-...  But for me it was like, 1511 01:31:36,760 --> 01:31:38,840 I could see         that it was possible. 1512 01:31:38,840 --> 01:31:40,720 That it was important 1513 01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:44,640 to fight against         the predictable holes 1514 01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:47,600 that we are all surrounded by           as human beings, 1515 01:31:47,640 --> 01:31:49,400 but particularly women. 1516 01:31:52,880 --> 01:31:56,840 For me, her legacy        was to open up the box, 1517 01:31:56,840 --> 01:31:58,840 give everyone new tools, 1518 01:31:58,840 --> 01:32:02,480 and new ideas         and new possibilities. 1519 01:32:06,520 --> 01:32:08,080 The world is playing catch-up 1520 01:32:08,120 --> 01:32:09,560 with Poly Styrene, 1521 01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:11,200 not the other way around. 1522 01:32:15,400 --> 01:32:17,840 When I saw her, like,    three days before she passed, 1523 01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:19,200 she said to me, 1524 01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:20,880 "You see the lights            on the trees?" 1525 01:32:20,880 --> 01:32:23,360 "Every one of those lights      is like a soul who's passed." 1526 01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:25,840 There was something out there 1527 01:32:25,880 --> 01:32:27,640 and in the         not-too-distant future 1528 01:32:27,680 --> 01:32:29,240 she was going to be part of. 1529 01:32:37,480 --> 01:32:39,760 I remember        the last time I saw her 1530 01:32:39,760 --> 01:32:41,720 like it was yesterday. 1531 01:32:44,080 --> 01:32:47,080 A piece of me died that day. 1532 01:32:49,160 --> 01:32:50,720 I cried even though 1533 01:32:50,720 --> 01:32:54,040 my Mum always told me        not to cry for the dead. 1534 01:32:58,880 --> 01:33:01,520 She said        it's just the beginning, 1535 01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:05,680 even if it feels like the end. 1536 01:33:28,840 --> 01:33:30,720 I am a cliché. 1537 01:33:41,880 --> 01:33:43,960 I'm a cliché    I'm a cliché 1538 01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:45,680 I'm a cliché    I'm a cliché 1539 01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:47,880 I'm a cliché          You've seen before 1540 01:33:47,880 --> 01:33:49,640 I'm a cliché            Live next door 1541 01:33:49,680 --> 01:33:51,840 I'm a cliché         You know what I mean 1542 01:33:51,880 --> 01:33:54,040 I'm a cliché           Pink is obscene 1543 01:33:55,600 --> 01:33:57,880 Huri yama yama Huri yama yama 1544 01:33:57,880 --> 01:33:59,880 Boredom, boredom 1545 01:33:59,880 --> 01:34:01,840 Huri yama yama Huri yama yama 1546 01:34:01,840 --> 01:34:04,120 Boredom, boredom