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Harvey was born into the world upside
down, back to front, and was christened

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Harvey Milos Krumpetsky.

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His father's name was Maciek, a
lumberjack with hands as big as shovels

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that smelt of pine needles.

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His mother's name was Liliana, a weary
woman with lead in her veins from

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in a mine.

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She was obsessed with counting her
fingers and had conversations with

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that just weren't there.

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The other villagers stayed well clear.

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But she didn't need friends now that she
had her miracle.

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Harvey grew strong and healthy.

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He had his father's ears and his
mother's open heart.

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But soon, his parents began to notice
peculiarities.

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He began to have odd twitches and liked
to touch things with his index finger,

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for no reason at all.

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When he met someone, he had to touch
them on the nose.

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The doctor said he had Tourette's
syndrome, a brain disorder that meant he

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couldn't control his impulses.

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It was like trying to control a sneeze.

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There was no cure or explanation.

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At school, Harvey was called a thick.

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His friend was Bogus.

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Bogus stuttered and had problems with
his mucus.

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The other kids threw stones and together
they were tricked, teased and tortured.

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Until Liliana pulled Harvey from school
and decided to educate him herself.

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Although she was illiterate, she knew
about facts and filled his brain with

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sorts of stuff.

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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its
brain.

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Butterflies smell with their feet.

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And elephants can't jump, no matter how
hard they try.

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Every day he wrote more and more facts
in a notebook he carried.

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Everywhere.

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As Harvey grew taller and stronger, his
mother grew shorter and madder,

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slowly fizzling into insanity.

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Often she'd mistake him for an intruder.

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Harvey followed in his father's
footsteps.

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He liked working with him, but at times
felt he needed to be alone with his

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problems.

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He'd ponder the world beyond, wishing
for things to change.

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And suddenly they did.

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He returned to find his home burnt to
the ground.

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His mother had left a stove burning in
the night, and Harvey found his parents

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nearby. Frozen.

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And nude.

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But there was more to come.

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The Germans invaded.

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Harvey escaped and found himself on a
ship bound for a place called Australia.

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His world was turned upside down and
back to front.

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Again.

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Harvey ended up in a small suburb called
Spotswood.

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He rented a small house with 11 other
migrants and tried to assimilate as best

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he could, changing his name from Harvey
Krumpetsky to Harvey Crumpet.

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He got a job.

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And many years went by as he saved his
money and tried not to indulge.

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Life didn't change much, but his body
did.

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His hair fell out and regrew on his
shoulders.

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In the evenings, he'd learn English off
an old television he'd found amongst the

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rubbish.

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He put little curtains on it and found
it a mesmerizing source of facts.

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The first thing he ever watched was a
Bugbee Berkeley film.

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He fell in love with all the bosoms and
smiles.

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It was so different to the spot for a
dump.

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At work, he tried to make friends.

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But for Harvey, it wasn't easy.

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Harvey's skull had split in half.

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The doctors inserted a steel plate
between his scalp and skull and laced it

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with 19 stitches.

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He was left with a scar that looked like
he'd had a lobotomy.

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Harvey wished he had more hair.

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He left the dump and tried new jobs.

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He seemed to get sacked a lot.

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He didn't know why.

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But he was always discovering more
facts.

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Rubber bands last longer if
refrigerated.

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The Bible was written by the same people
who thought the earth was flat.

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And time does not heal all wounds.

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One time, Harvey got a job collecting
golf balls.

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This is where he got struck by
lightning.

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But he survived and even made it into
the local newspaper.

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Harvey began to wonder how he'd survived
so much bad luck.

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Maybe he was like a cat and had nine
lives.

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He thought he had about four left.

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Actually, the biggest threat to his
daily life was the 28 cigarettes he

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He developed asthma, so went and saw his
doctor.

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In those days, the dangers of smoking
were not known.

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Dr. Greystains recommended Harvey smoke
even more.

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Smoke is soothing for the lungs, he'd
say, just like steam in a sauna.

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His asthma worsened and for every ten
cigarettes, he had to have a puff from

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asthma pump.

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Years later, his doctor died from
emphysema, just as the dangers of

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finally revealed.

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Harvey kept collecting facts. and one
morning discovered one about himself.

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His steel plate had become magnetized
from the lightning strike.

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Harvey made the papers.

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Again.

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Harvey's optimism began to crumble.

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He thought about fate's horrible
dealings, how he felt powerless, a

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the world.

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He wondered if he should just throw it
all in.

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Seize the day, Harvey.

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Seize the day.

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Carpe diem.

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These simple, profound words struck a
chord.

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Harvey decided to turn his world upside
down and back to front.

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Again.

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He stopped believing in fate and did
exactly what the statue said.

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He felt free and alive and joined a
nudist group.

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He became a vegetarian and joined an
animal liberationist society, liberating

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chickens and their eggs.

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Harvey didn't just seize the day.

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He was strangling it.

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Despite his enlightenment, physical
problems still plagued him.

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One of his testicles developed cancer
and had to be removed.

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But this was when he met Nurse Valerie
Burstall.

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She had everything he didn't and was
everything he wasn't.

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Yet instantly, their pheromones fizzled
together like ice cream and lemonade.

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They decided to get married and had the
ceremony in Cancer Ward 9.

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Harvey wanted a nude wedding, but
Valerie and the hospital forbade it.

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Harvey had lost the testicle, but gained
a wife.

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He moved into Val's small apartment with
her two cats and parrot, Brian.

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Brian had a parasitic disease which made
his feathers drop out.

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Valerie was constantly knitting little
jumpers to keep him warm.

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For some reason, the pets resented
Harvey.

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Harvey and Val went to bed early every
night and tried to get pregnant.

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But there was not enough sperm in
Harvey's lonely testicle and he was

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sterile.

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They decided to adopt and came across a
little thalidomide girl.

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They related to her immediately, took
her home and named her Ruby after Val's

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mother.

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So little limbless Ruby, big bold Val,
and magnetic Harvey

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became a family.

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Harvey gave up working and dedicated his
time to teaching Ruby what he knew

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about the world.

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He taught her that animals had rights
to...

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and to always respect the environment,
as well as herself.

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He told her about the beauty of being
nude, and to be never ashamed of your

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body. Every body was unique.

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Some people had less bits, some had more
bits.

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For every new fact she remembered,

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He would stick a gold star to her wall

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She adored her father

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He was full of tricks and was like
having her own private clown

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At school, Ruby excelled.

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She went into university and came out a
lawyer.

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Then moved to America and started her
own practice, championing the rights of

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the disabled.

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Harvey and Val were extremely proud.

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On Harvey's 65th birthday, Valerie's
brain clotted.

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And she died.

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It was such a shock.

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She'd never been sick.

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Harvey was all alone again.

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He had his daughter, but she was so far
away.

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He became a hermit and stopped washing.

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His mind wandered slowly into senility.

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It wasn't long before they took him
away, when a neighbor found him trying

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withdraw money from the microwave.

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So began the last phase of Harvey's
life, at Pleasant Paddocks.

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He shared a room with a man called
Hamish MacRumble.

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Hamish looked like something off a tin
of shortbread and had nostril hair that

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looked like he was housing a family of
spiders.

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He was 94 years old and had given up the
will to die.

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He also had Alzheimer's and had recently
burnt his ear trying to answer the

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irons.

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Harvey and Hamish pretended to dislike
each other.

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Harvey often stole Hamish's teeth,
returned them and then showed him where

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they'd been.

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But Hamish always had his revenge.

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Sometimes they'd sneak alcohol into the
home and put on drunken shows with

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knitted finger puppets the ladies were
making for charity.

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Everyone was thoroughly entertained, but
were less than impressed when they

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found Harvey the next morning in the
corridor.

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From then on, Harvey was to remain
clothed at all times.

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Often Harvey escaped at night and took
Hamish on animal liberation jaunts.

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They'd spray slogans on shop windows and
on their way home paint over teenagers'

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graffiti with their own sayings.

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Escaping Alzheimer's patients were a
particular problem at Pleasant Paddocks.

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The staff would find them at bus stops
waiting to go and see relatives, long

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dead.

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To solve this, they put an old bus stop
in the home's garden, where the

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Alzheimer's could sit for hours, waiting
for a bus that would never come.

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Time drizzled on while everyone sat
around and waited to die.

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Harvey's Alzheimer's began to worsen as
he slipped in and out of dream worlds,

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especially when the local church group
visited.

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God is better than football, God is
better than beer,

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00:17:58,850 --> 00:18:04,490
God is better than cricket, cause God's
there all the year.

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He isn't shot on Sunday, he isn't
stopped by...

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Talk to him again and again and again
and again and again.

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00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:26,010
God is better than football.

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00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:29,050
God is better than beer.

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00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,470
God is better than cricket.

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00:18:33,090 --> 00:18:35,830
Cos, cos they're all the year.

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00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:43,850
After these magical episodes, Harvey
would get extremely depressed.

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00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:46,820
and was put on an amazing new drug.

195
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:55,920
But the only thing that really cheered
him up were letters from Ruby across the

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00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:56,920
world.

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00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:00,880
He wished she'd visit more.

198
00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:08,940
Harvey's mind grew darker, and the fire
in his belly began to fizzle.

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00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,060
One night, he decided to end things.

200
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:22,500
But life had one more challenge for
Harvey.

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00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:28,140
On the way back to his room, he came
across a woman he'd never met.

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00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:30,440
Her name was Wilma.

203
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,640
She had a cancerous goiter and was
embarrassed to leave her room during the

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00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:39,180
She was waiting for death to hurry up.

205
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:45,040
They sat and spoke long into the night.

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00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:59,030
In the night, Harvey realized he had
some more living to do.

207
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:04,690
Wilma had decided she needed no more.

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00:20:06,610 --> 00:20:07,950
Thank you.

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00:20:10,590 --> 00:20:13,250
Harvey was going to enjoy what time he
had left.

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00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:17,670
He took off his clothes and went and sat
in the morning sun.

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00:20:20,890 --> 00:20:26,770
It shone on his face and he... He smiled
for the first time in a long while, as

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00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:28,330
he waited for the invisible bus.

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00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:34,090
He knew it would never come, but he
didn't mind.