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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:04,400 Jay. 2 00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:08,300 - Jay? - What? What's wrong? 3 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,700 You're snoring. 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,400 Me? Oh, I'm sorry. I... 5 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:16,900 Look at her! 6 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:20,000 Come on. We said no Stella in the bed. 7 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,900 Oh, but she's just a little puppy. 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,100 She probably got scared and snuck in. 9 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:25,900 Oh, really? How come when Manny has nightmares 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,600 you don't let him snuck in the bed? 11 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:30,400 Gloria, it's 6:00 in the morning. Can we talk about this later? 12 00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,000 Answer the question, Jay. 13 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:37,500 You know, I'm gonna check the lease, 14 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,600 but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab. 15 00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,400 You are a delight. 16 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,700 So what are you doing? 17 00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:45,800 I think you're gonna like this. I'm going on a juice fast. 18 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,600 Mmm. Love it. 19 00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:49,700 Hate it. Let's face it, 20 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,500 a well-fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability. 21 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,600 Now deprive him of food, and stage by stage, 22 00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:58,700 it's a slow descent into madness. 23 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,300 Stage one-- the clean sweep. 24 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:02,500 Poison. 25 00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:04,300 Poison. 26 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:05,600 Poison. 27 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,900 Do you think that this is the best week to be doing this? 28 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,300 - Why not? - Well, we have that charity thing at my boss' house. 29 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,500 Oh, so what, I'm supposed to put off my quest for wellness 30 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,500 until we're no longer socially in demand? 31 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,700 That will never happen. I'm too charismatic. 32 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,500 No. No. Not the cookies. 33 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,500 Of course the cookies. 34 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:22,900 Why do you always want me to fail? 35 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,100 Stage two-- attack Mitchell. 36 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,900 Because when his diet crashes and burns 37 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,300 into a giant pile of Nutella, 38 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:31,600 I'm the one he's gonna blame. 39 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,600 Well, no, not this time. 40 00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,800 You know what? I'm gonna do the fast with you. 41 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,900 I think it's a great idea, and we should do it together 42 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,100 so we're on the same team, you know, us versus food. 43 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,500 I know what you're doing... 44 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,100 And I really appreciate it. 45 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,000 No, it'll-- it'll be good for me. I've actually put on a few pounds. 46 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,300 Yeah, well, you know, I didn't want to say anything. 47 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,800 As the stock market plummeted, 48 00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:01,500 brave young men took to the skies, 49 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,700 ushering in the golden age of the daredevil. 50 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,500 How awesome are people? 51 00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,500 So awesome. 52 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,500 You wanna get that, buddy? I'll pause it. 53 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,600 - Hey, Luke. How's it going? I-- - Hey, Uncle Mitchell. 54 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,900 I really can't talk. I'm trying to watch a movie. 55 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,100 Oh, okay, well, I just wanted to drop off this bag of junk food. 56 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,200 - Go on. - Uh, Cam and I are on a juice fast, 57 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,600 so having this stuff in the house-- 58 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:30,800 - I connected the dots. See ya. - Oh. 59 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,100 Seeing that weird, wonderful little man 60 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,100 pursuing his dream of walking on a tightrope made me think 61 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,700 maybe I could pursue my dream... 62 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,000 Here you go, buddy. 63 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,400 Of walking on a tightrope. 64 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:56,599 Sync by Www.1000fr.Net capture: Frm@��� | sync: Frs@���� 65 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,800 Corrections www.addic7ed.com 66 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,700 come on, Dad! You got this! You can do this! 67 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,900 - Stay focused! Stay hungry! - You okay, buddy? 68 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,300 What? Yeah, hell, yeah, no. 69 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,800 Just proud of my Dad! 70 00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,600 There was a lot of chocolate in that bag. 71 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:19,500 Phil, honey, you gotta take Luke to school. 72 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,500 Got it. 73 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,700 Okay, I haven't fallen three out of the last four times. 74 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,900 This afternoon, we go airborne. 75 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,500 - Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah! 76 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,100 - Yeah! - Yeah! Mm! 77 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,100 Sitting all by yourself at the table. 78 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,200 Now where have I seen that again? 79 00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,100 Oh, right. Every day in the school cafeteria. 80 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,200 - I do that by choice. - The school's choice. 81 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,100 Isn't that your nickname? 82 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,900 Haley, be nice to your sister. Alex, good save. 83 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,700 - Mom, sign this. - What is it? 84 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,700 They finally bumped me up to the harder math class. 85 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,900 Third period, Mr. waters. 86 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,800 What? No, Mom, you cannot sign this. This is my class. 87 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,200 You're a freshman. What are you doing in second-year math? 88 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,800 You're a senior. What are you still doing in second year math? 89 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,400 Not "still!"... Again." 90 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,300 Alex, be nice to your sister. 91 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,600 Haley, not a good save. 92 00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:10,500 I knew it would suck having you at my school. 93 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:12,000 Well, hang in there. A couple more years, 94 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,000 you'll have it all to yourself again. Come on, girls. 95 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,400 Jay, look at this. 96 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,000 It's ruined. Stella did this. She chew on my shoe! 97 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:24,900 You have to discipline that stupid dog. 98 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,300 I discipline her all the time. 99 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,600 Oh, really? How? By buying her little cupcakes? 100 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:29,700 They're not real cupcakes. 101 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,900 They're doggy treats in the form of cupcakes. 102 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,500 Yeah, you should have told that to Manny before he ate one. 103 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,600 Oh, come on. His coat never looked better. 104 00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:40,300 You wouldn't find it so funny if she was destroying your shoes. 105 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,900 Well, I don't leave my shoes laying around, so... 106 00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:46,000 So it's my fault that she chooses to chew my shoe? 107 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:48,400 I didn't say that. You barely said it. 108 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,400 - You have to stop coddling her. - I don't coddle her. 109 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,200 What? 110 00:04:57,100 --> 00:05:00,800 She tries to drink the water. It's funny. 111 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,600 You don't look at me in class. You don't text me. 112 00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:07,000 Who would text during a class? 113 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,100 What are you? 114 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,800 Hon, I realize that this situation is not ideal for either one of you, 115 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:15,700 but sometimes we just rise above things. 116 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:16,700 Yes? 117 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,200 Excuse me. Did you notice the curb here is painted yellow? 118 00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,600 Uh, no, I did not. 119 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:24,400 Wow. It means loading and unloading. 120 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:26,600 Okay, well, I was just dropping off my kids. 121 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,800 And yet I see no kids emerging from the vehicle. 122 00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,400 Well, we were chatting. 123 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:31,500 Wow. 124 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,700 At the risk of surprising you a third time, officer, 125 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,300 I've been dropping off here for years, and I-- 126 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,900 - Move it. - Okay. You betcha. 127 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,600 What was her problem? 128 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,200 Oh, you know what you should have said to her-- 129 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,600 Nothing. I should have said nothing would be the point. 130 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:46,000 I have to see her every day. I mean, why make it worse? 131 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,700 That's exactly what I'm talking about. 132 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,700 Awkward, unpleasant situation-- 133 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,100 Rise above. 134 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,400 Have a nice day. 135 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,800 - Yeah. - Love you! 136 00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:57,600 Bye-bye! 137 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,400 "And yet I see no children emerging from the vehicle." 138 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:07,000 How'd you like to see my fist emerging into your face? 139 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,500 Oh! Now I think of it! 140 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,100 Day four of the juice fast, 141 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,600 and I'm hungry, but I'm-- I'm feeling pretty good. 142 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,900 Cam, on the other hand, has gone all... 143 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,700 "Girl, interrupted." 144 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:23,700 After one, throwing out all of our food, 145 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,500 and two, blaming me, 146 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,000 he entered stage three-- soap actress. 147 00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:31,900 I just wish my sister would put herself out there more. 148 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,300 She has so much to offer. 149 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,000 Why are men so superficial? 150 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,300 That was followed by stage four-- 151 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,800 a rush of epiphanies... 152 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:45,200 I... don't... need... food. 153 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,800 Look at this. Architecture is everywhere. 154 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,600 Oh. Spaniards make amazing athletes. 155 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,400 Into stage five-- despair... 156 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,300 Daddy, we hided, but you didn't seek. 157 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,200 Cam? 158 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,800 Then came rage. 159 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:04,900 Oh. Ow. 160 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,700 Oh. 161 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,300 Hey. Whatcha got there? 162 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,400 The good news is, 163 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:15,500 Cam's never made it this far into a diet before, so... 164 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:19,400 Downside-- I have no idea what the next stage is gonna be. 165 00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:23,000 But I'm pretty sure it's not charming party guest. 166 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,700 Cam, I-I was thinking, I'll take the bullet tomorrow night at my boss' house. 167 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,600 You don't have to go to the party. 168 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,000 They're-- they're boring. 169 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,800 Silly cause, you know, lots of people. 170 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,400 Parking... 171 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:40,800 - Cam, say something. - Why do you hate me? 172 00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:41,698 I don't hate you. 173 00:07:41,699 --> 00:07:43,700 Then why are you trying to push me out of your life? 174 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,000 Because you-- you seem a little... 175 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:48,800 Unhinged. 176 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:49,900 Okay, well, you know what I think? 177 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,800 You should worry a little bit less about me 178 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:54,000 and a little bit more about yourself and what you're gonna wear tomorrow night, 179 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,800 because I saw what you have laid out, 180 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:58,600 and I don't think you're gonna like the way you look in photos. 181 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,300 Well, I hadn't landed on that. 182 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,000 Her hand's in the air, like, every five seconds, 183 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:09,000 and she actually reminded Mr. Waters to assign homework. 184 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,500 The class loved that. Do you know how embarrassed I was? 185 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:12,800 Not as embarrassed as I was 186 00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,900 when she said 8 was a prime number. 8, Mom. 187 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,300 Okay, fine. You know what? 188 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,000 I'm gonna call the school today and have your schedules changed, 189 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:23,700 but I want you to know a little part of me died today, okay? 190 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,700 I thought the two of you could understand 191 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,300 how being in the same class would benefit you both. 192 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,200 Alex, you-- you could've tutored Haley. 193 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,300 Haley, you could've helped Alex with her social skills. 194 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,000 Come on. The two of you could've been two Super Dunphys. 195 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:40,200 And instead, what are you? Two bickering half-Dunphys, 196 00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:42,100 and I'm the fool that expected more. 197 00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:46,800 No, I don't even want to hear it. Just go upstairs. Go. 198 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,400 Wow. What was that? 199 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,700 That was a master class in parenting. 200 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:59,100 Right now our daughters are upstairs making a decision they think is their own, 201 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,000 but really, it was an idea that was skillfully implanted by me. 202 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,100 Inception, Claire. 203 00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:06,800 - Dangerous game, but I like it. - Mm. 204 00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:12,800 - What are those? - Wire walkers. 205 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,800 You want to go to the dance, you gotta wear the shoes. 206 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,300 Luke, grab your camera. 207 00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:21,500 Luke. 208 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,400 I wasn't sleeping. 209 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,800 Honey, I-I think those are... jazz shoes. 210 00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,300 No. Tightrope shoes. 211 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,000 Got 'em at an estate sale. Only worn once. 212 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,700 That-- that is not a ringing endorsement for... 213 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,300 Oh! Phil, honey. 214 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,400 Please be ca--careful. Right. 215 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,200 Watch the door. 216 00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:46,800 Hey, what'd you get for number 3? 217 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,500 You're not going to learn if I just give you answers. 218 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,300 Well, what if I gave you something in return? 219 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:53,600 Like what? 220 00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,500 You can talk to me in class. 221 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,100 I want lunch at the cool table. 222 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,800 Then I want all the answers. 223 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,000 Then I want a week at the table. 224 00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:05,700 - That'll cost you two pop quizzes. - A month. 225 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,400 - The midterm. - Deal. 226 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,000 Looking great, Dad. 227 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,200 With these steps, I break the surly bonds... 228 00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,700 Chicken in a basket! 229 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,500 Don't look at me. 230 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,600 - Mom. Mom. Mom. - What? What? What? What? What? 231 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,400 Mom. Did you call the school yet? 232 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,400 Uh, not yet, but I was just about to. 233 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,300 Uh, Bartles & Jaymes! 234 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,900 Good. Because we are thinking we might want to stay in that class. 235 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,900 Really? Oh, girls, I don't know about that. 236 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,900 - Oh, please let us try it. - Super Dunphy? 237 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,700 I can't hold her! I can't hold her! 238 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,000 Well, maybe one more week. 239 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:44,500 Thanks, Mom. 240 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,400 I don't know. Uh, a cup of soup, a Cobb salad. 241 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,500 Yeah, it had bacon. 242 00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:56,700 Cam, I don't have all day to describe all my meals to you. 243 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:01,300 Stop eating all my things, you stupid animal. 244 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,600 No, Cam, not you. I'll call you back. 245 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,400 Bad doggy! 246 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:06,900 You want to chew on something? 247 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,100 Okay. Okay. Okay. 248 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,500 Look at this. 249 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,100 Look at this delicious man shoe. Eat it. 250 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,000 Come on. Eat it. Eat it. 251 00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,300 Mmm! Yummy. 252 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,700 Eat the shoe. 253 00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:23,900 Eat his shoe. Come on. Eat his shoe. 254 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,100 Num, num, num, num. Num, num. 255 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,700 Yeah, like this. Look. Ah. 256 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,500 Delicious. 257 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,300 Mom? 258 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,000 Drop it. 259 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,900 - I-- - Please. I'm sorry you had to see this. 260 00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,200 - Hello? - Hi, Mrs. Dunphy. 261 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,900 This is Rose in the principal's office. 262 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,800 - Can you hold for Principal Weller? - Yes. 263 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,100 - Hi, Claire. - Hi, John. What'd she do this time? 264 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,400 Actually, I've got both of them in here. 265 00:12:03,700 --> 00:12:05,300 Both of them? Really? 266 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,700 Alex was letting Haley copy her homework. 267 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,600 - Mr. Waters caught them. - I-I don't believe it. 268 00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:14,300 I'm about to have a little talk with them, so they'll be out a few minutes late. 269 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,500 Um, I'm so sorry, John, and honestly, 270 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,500 I-I really am a better mother than this. I promise. 271 00:12:19,700 --> 00:12:21,100 So you've said. 272 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,400 Mm-hmm. 273 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,600 Seriously? 274 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,100 Seriously?? Oh. You... 275 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,700 Excuse me. 276 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,900 Hey, um, what the hell is this? 277 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,600 This zone is for loading and unloading, 278 00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:36,800 not for talking on the phone. 279 00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:38,500 Yeah, I know, but I was talking on the phone 280 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,000 to the school that my kids were about to come out of, so... 281 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:44,000 Are you aware this zone has a time limit? 282 00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:45,300 N-no, I'm not. 283 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:46,900 Wow. 284 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,200 You know what? I do want to do some unloading. 285 00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,500 I know your type. 286 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:56,500 Life has been bad to you. It has made you feel small. 287 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:00,000 And then one day somebody gives you a fake cop outfit, 288 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,500 a toy badge and a little spongebob tie. 289 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,700 Suddenly it's payback time, right? 290 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,600 Well, I got news for you, "Law & Order: Special Parking Unit," 291 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,600 not my fault. 292 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,500 - I'm really sorry, Dad. - Oh, it's all right. 293 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,700 Everybody throws up at school. 294 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,800 If I had a nickel for every time I puked at school, 295 00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,400 you know how much money I'd have? 296 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,600 35 cents. 297 00:13:26,700 --> 00:13:29,700 Exactly. Now go get cleaned up, and I'll call the doctor. 298 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,500 Wait, Dad, I don't need a doctor. 299 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:33,700 What's up? 300 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,700 The other day, Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food 301 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,000 so he and Cam could do a Jew fast. 302 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,600 - Juice fast? - I'm pretty sure he said "Jew." 303 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:45,400 But anyway, I took the bag, and I hid it, and I ate it all. 304 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:46,600 Oh, buddy. 305 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:50,300 I couldn't help myself. I'm weak. Don't look at me. 306 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,800 It's all right. 307 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:55,600 It's okay. Hey, you learned a lesson. 308 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,900 A painful lesson. 309 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:00,800 I guess we both have. 310 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,400 What do you mean? 311 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,800 I always saw myself as a guy who could soar through the sky, dancing on a wire. 312 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,100 I can't even get across 1/6 inches off the ground. 313 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,200 Well, maybe that's the problem. 314 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,500 Maybe you keep falling because part of you knows that you can fall. 315 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:20,500 Maybe if the wire was much, much higher, you wouldn't fall. 316 00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:23,400 Oh, Luke, Luke, Luke. 317 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,000 You are a genius. 318 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,300 Come on. We got work to do. 319 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,100 - Yes! Can I have a doughnut first? - Yes, you can! 320 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:36,100 Ah, there they are, my Super Dunphys. 321 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,300 We're sorry, but we just-- 322 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,700 Unh-unh-unh. You don't get to talk. 323 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,400 You had a chance to be better people today. 324 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,000 You, to be more well-rounded, 325 00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,000 and you, to be a better student. 326 00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:51,000 You could have elevated the Dunphy name, but instead, you chose to tarnish it, 327 00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,200 so, congratulations, ladies, 328 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:55,200 you brought this family to a new low. 329 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,700 - Mom, are you-- - Yeah. Yeah, I am, 330 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,200 and I would actually like to get these loosened up, if I might. 331 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,800 - Are we gonna have any more trouble? - No, ma'am. 332 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,600 Oh, Claire, do you need me to drive the girls? 333 00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:08,900 All good, Janet. All good. 334 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,100 Goat cheese Risotto ball? 335 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,000 No, thank you. 336 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,100 Are you sure? They're so good. 337 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,400 Walk away. 338 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:20,200 It's tough enough to deal with Cam when I'm at full strength, 339 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,700 but I have been fasting just as long as he has, 340 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,400 and I do not have the energy to deal with a big, needy brisketcase-- 341 00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,600 brass-- basketcase. 342 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:31,900 Cam! Don't be mad at me, 343 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,000 but I think that you really need to eat something. 344 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,000 What? 345 00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:36,900 You're supposed to be my support. 346 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,400 Oh, away from me, temptress. 347 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,900 And I never thought I would call you that in a negative way. 348 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,100 I've seen her do a lot of crazy stuff, 349 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,000 but this is a whole new level. 350 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:47,700 Is this a people cookie? 351 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:48,800 You're good. 352 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:50,500 A definitive "yes" or "no" would be appreciated. 353 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,400 Those cupcakes did a number on me. 354 00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,200 Are you happy? 355 00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:00,100 You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe. 356 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,500 - Gloria, sit. - You think this is funny? 357 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,100 To talk to me like I am a dog? 358 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,600 I'm not talking to you like you're a dog. 359 00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:08,800 I'm just asking you to sit so we can get to the bottom of this. 360 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,100 Okay, fine. 361 00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,000 Good girl. 362 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,600 Come on. You set me up. 363 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:15,500 Gloria, why are you acting so crazy? 364 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,700 It's just a little dog. 365 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,600 It's not the little dog that is making me crazy. 366 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,200 It's you that is making me crazy. 367 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,500 - Me? - Yeah, you used to put me first. 368 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,500 You used to want me in that shower. 369 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:25,700 Should I be here for this? 370 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,200 No, Manny. It's okay. I go. 371 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,800 But I want you to know this. 372 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,000 Where I come from, men cherish woman. 373 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,000 It goes wife, mistress, dog. 374 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,200 Dog always at the bottom. 375 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:38,900 As you can imagine, I get asked to help, 376 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:41,400 uh, with a lot of these environmental causes. 377 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,900 Usually, I buy a ticket, 378 00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:46,100 uh, bid on Shaquille O'Neal's big shoe... 379 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,900 And, uh, come home. 380 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,500 But then, something happened. 381 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,500 I love paddle surfing, 382 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:59,300 and each time I'd go out, I'd see this one sea lion. 383 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,900 He'd pop his head up. He'd check me out. 384 00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:04,000 I got so used to seeing him, I even named him-- Snorkels. 385 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,100 Oh, God, I do not like where this is going. 386 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:10,400 So one day, I, uh, I go out and I see Snorkels. 387 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,200 But he's doing this weird twisting thing in the water. 388 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,000 - Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. - Shh, shh. 389 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,600 So I paddle over, and I see he's got a plastic grocery bag 390 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:24,000 wrapped around his neck and one of his fins. 391 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:27,400 And I freaked, tried to get it off with my paddle. 392 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,500 It didn't work, so I-I jumped in, 393 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,300 but he disappeared under the water. And, uh... 394 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,200 Don't say it. Don't you dare say it. 395 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:39,800 - And I never saw him again. - Ohh. 396 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,600 This is the saddest thing I've ever-- 397 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:46,600 Mitchell, are you okay? 398 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000 Of course I'm not okay. 399 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:51,200 None of this is okay. 400 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:52,600 Okay, well, you need to pull yourself 401 00:17:52,601 --> 00:17:54,400 together 'cause we're at your boss' house. 402 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,800 He drowned, Cam! 403 00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,100 Is he all right? 404 00:17:59,101 --> 00:18:00,800 Yeah, yeah, I just think he needs a little air. 405 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,300 You know who else needed air? 406 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,000 Snorkels! 407 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:06,900 Excuse me. 408 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,400 Snorkels?! Where are you, Snorkels?! 409 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:14,500 - Mitchell, get back here! - Oh, Snorkels! 410 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,300 Mitchell, what is wrong with you?! 411 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,900 What do you think is wrong with me? I'm starving! 412 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,700 Well, if you're starving, then just eat something! 413 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,300 I can't eat something because then you'll get mad at me, 414 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,900 and we're at my boss' house! 415 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,000 I'm not gonna get mad at you! 416 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,400 I appreciate what you're doing for me! 417 00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,000 I'm doing it for you. 418 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,400 Oh, you don't have to do anything for me. 419 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:35,600 I love you just the way you are. 420 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:38,000 I love you just the way you are. 421 00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,400 - I got you! I got you, babe! - Okay. Okay. Thank you. 422 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:46,700 I got you! 423 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,900 - Cam, I can walk. I can walk. - I got you! 424 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:53,600 I think Mitchell may just be a work friend. 425 00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:02,800 I let down my Mom and Dad today, and... worse than that, 426 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,000 I let down my teacher. 427 00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:08,900 It's all my fault. Everything I touch turns to Detention. 428 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,100 I'm sorry, Mom. 429 00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:11,700 Me, too. 430 00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:15,700 Oh, I don't really have a whole lot of moral high ground to stand on. 431 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,000 I wasn't exactly my best self today either. 432 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:22,700 All in all, not a great day for the Dunphys. 433 00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,900 Come on, Dad! Believe in yourself! 434 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,800 You're making the impossible unimpossible. 435 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,500 Phil. Oh, my God. 436 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,000 Don't even bother. He's in the zone. 437 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,300 - He can't hear you. - Go, Dad! 438 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,800 You got this! 439 00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:44,000 All week long, I'd been telling my girls how to act instead of showing them, 440 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,700 but not Phil. 441 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:46,900 Phil could have said, 442 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,700 Or "Haley, challenge yourself. Don't give up so easily." 443 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,900 But instead of talking the talk, 444 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,900 Phil walked the walk. 445 00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,600 And isn't that what we're supposed to do for the people we love? 446 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,000 It's definitely a challenge... 447 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,900 But Phil made it look easy seven feet off the ground. 448 00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,000 You're awesome! 449 00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,700 Oh, my goodness! 450 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,000 Turns out, I've had my Super Dunphy all along. 451 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,700 Yeah! 452 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,300 What was on my mind as I was walking across that wire? 453 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,100 I kept thinking, if I can do this, 454 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,300 then I've got two ways of getting across my yard. 455 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:45,600 Did you have fun? 456 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:49,000 Yes. She's the cutest dog in the whole world. 457 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,100 Yeah, I heard you the first time. 458 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,700 Let's go find your daddies. 459 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,000 We're in here! 460 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,000 Oh, my God. These cupcakes are so good. 461 00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,100 I'm so sorry. We helped ourselves. 462 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,200 We were so hungry. They are delicious. 463 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,600 I love that they're not too sweet, you know? 464 00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:05,500 Mmm. Mmm. They taste almost like pate. 465 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,300 - You know, I mean... - But why are you eating? 466 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,400 We've been on a juice cleanse. 467 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,800 You need to mind your own business, sweetie, for right now. 468 00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:20,099 Corrections by www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,500 www.tvsubtitles.net 9999 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,500 www.tvsubtitles.net 35993

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