All language subtitles for BobsBurgers.S08E14-The Trouble With Doubles.720p.WEB.x264-TBS - m

*BOB'S BURGERS*
Season 08 Episode 14

Episode Title : "The Trouble with Doubles"

Look what I found in Mom and Dad's
interesting-smelling closet.

Wait, what were
you doing in our closet?

Bup, bup, bup! A box of
old tapes, which I believe

includes a tape of
a certain song

someone sang
to a certain poop

- when she was little.
- No! What?

I thought
I destroyed that tape.

Your mom made a copy.
She loved that song.

- Behold.
- The legendary

Tina singing
to her poop tape.

And after she sings to it,
she flushes it and then cries.

Like a Viking funeral.

You know what? I think
I might just go into the kitchen.

- Uh, anyone want any... crackers?
- Hey! Geez, Tina.

That's, like, the most
athletic you've ever been.

No one can see this. I'm
a mature young woman now

who just flushes her
poop, and that's that.

So I'm gonna swallow this.

It's not working.

Tina, get the tape
out of your mouth.

Fine, then I'm gonna go
hide this.

- Not in my room.
- I'm back.

- How was PTA?
- P-T-Great.

After the meeting,
I had a nice talk

with Ruthanne Donahue,
Patrick's mom.

I think he's in your grade,
Gene.

Patrick Donahue.
Good at math,

has a weird laugh.
That's all I know.

So, Ruthanne and I were
talking,

and she said, "We should
do a double date sometime."

And I said, "Yeah." And
she said, "How's tomorrow?"

And you said...

- no? Lin.
- Yes.

It happened so fast.

She pulled out her
calendar and everything.

You were supposed to say,
"Let me get back to you"

and then never get back
to her.

- So lie?
- No, not lie.

Just say "no" but in
a really indirect way.

Come on, Bob. We don't have
any friends who are couples.

Think of
how fun it would be

if we had best couple friends.

♪ Someone's in the
kitchen with Dinah ♪

Wait, you want to go on
one of those train things?

- Yeah. Double date.
- Can't we just tell them

- we got sick or something?
- Lie again?

- Tina, please.
- Maybe we'll have fun

and this date'll
surprise you.

Like when you think
a guy is gonna murder you

and then he proposes.

Come on, Bob.
Please?

- Uh, fine, I'll go.
- All right!

Whoa. What is this?

Oh! Oh, yeah. This is a zombie
movie from the early '80s.

A bunch of people get
trapped in a Jewish deli.

It's called
Again with the Living Dead.

Zombies in a deli? I'll
have some of that on rye.

- Am I right?
- I forgot I had this.

It's so good. And scary.

But it's also funny. I mean,
in a really messed up way.

- Huh.
- Oh, but it's not for kids.

Y-You guys should never watch it.

Till you're maybe 20.

Sure. Sure. Sure, sure.

Tonight! One night only.

Again with the Living Dead.

The scariest movie
about a Jewish deli

- you'll ever see.
- Top ten, at least.

Our parents leave at 7:00.

Movie starts at 7:05.
Who's in?

Me. I'll bring
an extra inhaler.

I might watch through my hands,
but just 'cause I like my hands.

I'm in. I like a little
shiver in my liver.

- Right, Jay Ju? Get over...
- Ow! Zeke.

- Zeke, stop.
- We want to come, too.

Aaah!
That's my scary movie sound.

A-ooga! That's my
"no, you didn't" sound.

Oh, and this isn't a free show, people.

The entrance fee is candy. Plus tax,

which is candy. Okay, scat.

And don't tell Tina. She'll
get all babysitter on us.

- Hmm.
- Hey, T.

- Hello.
- Hey, what's going on?

We were just telling
everyone how excited we are

to have you babysit for us
tonight.

'Cause it's such a treat.

- Oh, thanks.
- Yeah.

I mean... babysitting is a
lot of responsibility,

but at the ripe old age of 13,

I think I've learned
a few tricks. Watch this.

Hoh! Who's getting sleepy?

Me.

Oh, she's good.

Okay, kids.

We're going on a double date
with our new couple friends.

Double couple trouble.

Don't come on too strong, Mom.
You don't want to give them

the full Linda
on the first date.

I'll be cool.

♪ Couple friends till the very end. ♪

Ah! There,
I got it out. I got it out.

- Oh, boy.
- Bob, promise me

you'll try to have fun
tonight.

Don't complain like you like to do.

W-What do you mean,
"like I like to do"?

You know, you make your
little noises and your faces.

Dad has resting "B" face.

Okay, Lin, fine. I
promise I won't complain

if you don't say "this is
fun" over and over again.

Saying something's fun
doesn't make it fun.

Fine. Come on.

Let's go. Bye, bye, bye.
Mwah.

- Stay out of my room.
- You got it.

All right,
I'm gonna go into Mom's room.

Gene, check the VCR and
make sure it's hooked up.

- On it.
- What are you guys doing?

Listen, I didn't want
to say anything earlier

because I knew
you'd be like...

"No, we can't invite people over

to watch that scary movie
Dad told us not to watch."

What? No, we can't invite
people over...

To watch that scary movie
Dad told us not to watch.

- Uh-huh.
- You guys, I can't let this happen.

I'm the babysitter, damn it.

Tina, when Dad said,
"Don't watch the movie,"

what he really meant
was, "Watch the movie."

I mean,
he was practically winking.

I don't know.

Jimmy Jr. is already
on his way over.

And he's gonna need
someone to comfort him

- if he gets scared.
- Huh.

Comfort Jimmy Jr. Okay,
I'll allow it.

I mean, zombies are more
sexy than scary, right?

I think everyone
would agree with that.

Where are they?

They must not be here.

Uh, let's go home.

Stop being
a negative noodle.

You just need
to get used to the fact

that we're gonna have
a good time.

Oh, God.
There are people sitting

with a dog. Please
don't let that be them.

Linda! Over here!

Oh, my God. It is.

Oh, hi, Ruthanne.

Bob, Linda,
this is Nicholas.

- Hi.
- Hi.

And this is Lars.

You brought your dog...
to a restaurant.

Lars is my emotional
support dog.

Yep. We bring him everywhere we go.

Everywhere. All the time. It's fine.

So, uh,
should we get another chair?

No, no, no, no. Lars, scoot.

Sit here, Linda.

Aw, thanks for the seat, Lars.

Aw, he got scared.

Oh, don't pet his ears
like that. He hates that.

Oh, my God! Oh, no! -Ooh!

Oh! Oh, oh, I'm stuck.

- I'm stuck.
- Oh, God. Geez.

- Let me... let me help you.
- So sorry about that.

- It's okay.
- I was talking to Lars.

Oh. Uh, well, this is fun.

- I-I mean, uh, double date. Yay.
- Yep.

I'm so glad we decided
to share everything.

I hate when people
order their own meals.

It's like, "Oh, you want
to order what you like

and eat it all?" Selfish, right?

Are there any more
shrimps? I didn't get any.

Remember we said we
were gonna order two,

and then Ruthanne said

- we were just gonna order one?
I... You know, just one.

- Yeah.
- We just need one.

There's
tons of the tomato salad

that Ruthanne was very
excited about at one point.

I need something over
here. I'm starving.

So, uh, Nicholas, Lars
gives you emotional support?

Yes, that's right. He-he does.

What's your emotional... thing?

I mean, if you don't mind me asking?

My therapist says I have PTSD.

My other therapist says I don't.

But my psychic says I definitely do,

so that's two to one.

- Oh, were you...
- I'm working through some trauma

from when I was in an a
cappella group in college.

And...

And it was a cappella.

There wasn't any music. Ever.

- People hated us.
- Huh.

And now we have Lars. And that's okay.

So, uh, what do you
guys like to do for fun?

- Tennis, anyone? Ha!
- I can't play sports.

- I have inverted arms.
- Oh.

We do like to do
escape rooms.

Have you ever done
one of those?

What's an escape room?

You go to a place where
you get locked in a room

that looks like a war
bunker or a-a dungeon,

and you have to figure
out how to escape.

- Oh, that sounds, uh...
- It is.

Uh, Nicholas, you like
going to escape rooms

after what you've been through
with the a cappella thing?

You're not really locked inside, Bob.

Grow up, buddy. Come on.

- Uh, okay.
- It's just fun.

- It's just a joke. Ooh!
- We should all go sometime.

- Uh... Oh!
- Eh...

Uh, Lars is, uh,
sniffing my crotch.

Uh, like, a lot.

- Oh, yeah, he is.
- Yeah.

I-I want to push him away,

but I'm afraid
he's gonna bite me.

Yeah, that's the... that's the thing.

Um, so... Ooh!

Can you, um, get him to stop?

Lars. Lars. Lars?

Lars. Lars!

Lars! Lars!

That's okay. Forget it.

All right, people.

Handy over the candy.

- Gene?
- Welcome to the Belcherplex.

Please silence your
phones and your butts.

I mean, ah, the... Good.

- The lights are out.
- Jimmy Jr., if you get scared,

- I'm here for you.
- Uh, you're kind of close, Tina.

- Can you move over?
- I'm right here if you need me.

Uh, you're still really close.

Shh. Don't talk during the movie.

Can I take your plates?

Oh, I'm still working on mine.

Ruthanne is the slowest eater
I know.

Lars is, uh, the slowest eater, too.

- He's still in there.
- Oh, wow, he is.

And... done.

I-I think we're ready

- for the check.
- Yes.

The gentleman and lady
already paid for your meal.

- What?
- You did?

Yeah. We gave him our
credit card when we got here.

Don't worry about it.
You guys can get the next one.

- Yeah. Yeah, you know.
- Yeah. Yeah, we'll work things out.

- We'll schedule something.
- Um, whenever.

Or how about this?

You guys can get
dessert right now.

Ooh, yes!
Should we go get some gelato?

- Uh...
- Ooh, oh, my.

Gelato. Gelato.

Hey, he's out.

My pants are really wet.

Girls in one car, boys in the other.

- Linda, I'll drive us.
- Uh...

We're with you, Bob.
Lars calls shotgun.

He gets carsick.

- Bobby. Bobby.
- Lin.

Lin.

This isn't so scary.

Nope, I was wrong. It's scary.

Hey, Mr. Goldberg.

You want your usual?

You look different.

Did you, uh, get a new haircut?

This movie's ruining roast
beef sandwiches for me.

Smells like old fries in here.

Uh, it's probably the old fries.

I can't find the button for the window.

I just want a little air.

Oh, it's a hand crank. Sorry.

Oh. Uh, okay.

Let's see if I can deal with this.

Uh, w-what's wrong with your dog?

Oh, he's probably just gonna throw up.

Oh, God. Should we pull over?

Oop! He's fine. He swallowed it.

He's a trooper. Good boy, Lars.

It's not that I hate Lars. It's just,

why can't I be my husband's
emotional support dog, you know?

- Uh-huh.
- Ooh!

There's an escape room place.

A what? Oh, oh, yeah.

Should we skip dessert

and do an escape room
instead?

Oh, I don't think
we should.

You want to let the
boys know the new plan?

Okay, we're doing this.

I'll text Bob.

"Going to escape room.

No gelato." Send.

Oops, "gelato" auto-typed to "genital."

Oops, did it again.

Can you check that?
It might be from Linda.

I've never gotten a
text from anybody else.

It says we're going to an escape room.

She signed it "genitals genitals."

Is that, like, a nickname for her or...

Wait, we're going to an escape room?

I know. Great, right?

I didn't even know they
had one around here.

Uh-oh. Oh, God.

- He found the old fries.
- Sorry.

It's not even his cheat day.

I don't even want to see it or hear it,

but I don't want to stop watching.

Oh, matzo brain soup.

- I got you, Jay Ju.
- I got you, Jimmy Jr.

Okay, Zeke. Little
bit of an eager beaver.

Maybe I'll just squeeze in here.

Maybe not.

Welcome, everyone...

and dog, to the "jail
break" escape room.

Wow, it's so dirty in
here! Really authentic.

The lobby was dirty,
too. Is that on purpose?

Whoa-hoa. You guys are comin' in hot.

Let's just take a step back
and realize I'm by myself today,

and you guys are the
last room of the night.

- Oh, he's in character.
- I am not.

Once I close this door,
you'll have one hour

to find the key and escape.

All the clues you need
are hidden in this room.

I bet I know where the key is.

It's in that locker right there.

No, it's too obvious, Ruthanne.

I'm not allowed to say,
but it's not obvious.

It's a pretty good spot.

I'll be right outside that door.

If you absolutely need
to leave the escape room

before the hour is up, that's
a panic button right over there.

If you press it, I'll come
and then I'll let you out.

Can we press it now?
Just kidding. Kinda.

And I'm gonna collect your phones

so you won't take any pictures.

We also don't want you to use them

to, uh, post bad reviews online.

Not that we've ever
gotten lots of those.

Wait, wait, wait. Before we get started,

can Lars and I run
to the boys' room?

Yeah, I want to go to the ladies' room.

I'll show you where it is.

Lin, this is an awful date.

I know you told me not to
complain, and I'm not...

- That's just a fact.
- I know. I'm not gonna say

this is fun, because
it's not fun, at all.

Let's just do this
escape room as fast as we can,

- so we can go home.
- I should text Tina real quick

before that guy takes our phones away.

Doing an escape room, then coming home.

Double date awful.
Nightmare couple. Kill me.

Sad face, sad face,
sad face, turd. Send.

Okay, if everyone could
surrender your phones, please.

Oh, wait, I just got a text.

Oh, it's from you, Linda.

Oh, God! Don't read
that. Uh, Ruthanne...

It says, "Double date awful.
Nightmare couple. Kill me."

Sad face, sad face, sad face.

Turd. - Oh,
boy. -Ooh.

Anyway, I'll take that.

Okay, everybody, happy escaping.

Okay, okay. I accidentally
sent you a text that said

you were a nightmare
couple, but it was a joke.

It was just a joke.

Lars, I need you more
than ever right now.

Look, this is extremely awkward.

Let's just push the panic
button and get out of here.

Sure. Push the panic button.

Get away from the "nightmare couple."

No, we don't want
to get away from you.

Yes, we do.

No, no, we want to do
the escape room with you.

- That'll make me feel better.
- All right, fine.

Ruthanne said the key was
probably in that locker.

Okay.

It's a combination lock. It's locked.

Yeah, it's a real
sad-face nightmare locker.

- Turd.
- Ignoring Ruthanne and Nicholas.

Look. A letter.

"Dear Prisoner,

The Code is my name.
Sincerely, Your PAL."

- Huh.
- The word "PAL" is capitalized.

Maybe it's a clue... Maybe the code

for the lock
combination is P-A-L.

- Ruthanne, right?
- Mm, mm, mm.

- Nicholas?
- Mm, mm, mm.

Lars? Why am I asking a
dog? Wait, there's more.

"A + B=14."

- There's math?
- Yeah.

So the letter "A" is in the word "PAL."

- Right.
- And "A" and "B" are numbers

that add up to 14, right?

- Right.
- So...

Four. - Wh-Why are
you saying "four"?

- I don't know.
- Okay, 14 is...

- Four.
- Stop saying "four"!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

That was amazing.

Everyone have a good time?

At our little movie screening? Anyone?

Can't... talk.

Too scared.

I'll never not be scared.

I'm burning through canisters here.

- Are you guys really scared?
- Mama.

I'm not gonna close my eyes
again, I'll tell you that.

Wait. Let me try.

Bad idea! Oh, no, no! Bad idea!

- Zeke, open your eyes!
- Okay, okay, okay!

- Guys, it's just a movie.
- A great movie.

I mean, it's gonna stay with us,

probably for the rest
of our lives, but...

People, zombies aren't real.

Then how'd they get
the idea for that movie?

Can I use your phone... I'm
calling my mom to come get me.

No. No parents.
You're not supposed to be here.

And you definitely weren't
supposed to be watching

a scary movie
under my supervision.

Hey, we talked about this,
remember?

You were never here,

you didn't watch a
scary movie at our house,

and you're gonna leave
here on your own two feet

in the next few minutes before
our mom and dad come home.

I'm only stepping out of this house

if there's a long line of
grown-ups going all the way

to my house and they're
all willing to hug me.

Louise, no one's leaving.
We've got a problem.

- Yeah, you do.
- Me?

You're the one who
invited everyone over.

But you're the babysitter.
I'm nine. What do I know?

Let me try something.

Hey, guys, let's pretend
we're on a treasure hunt

and the treasure's at your house.

Ready? Go!

Huh. Weird. That didn't work.

Okay, so we found the letter.

- Right.
- And we found the Bible

under the mattress with
another math problem in it.

It's like the friggin' SATs in here.

Oh, we're so bad at this.

Oh, no, you're so good at this.

- Okay, Ruthanne.
- Oh, what is that smell?

I think it was Lars.

He had those fries from
your weird old car, remember?

Ugh. Did it just get worse?

That time it was me. Sorry not sorry.

Oh, two can play at that game, Missy.

- You wouldn't dare.
- Escape this.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

We brought in every lamp from the house,

so it's nice and bright in here,

and we've got The Equestranuats on.

That's a happy show.

You're gonna forget all
about that silly zombie deli.

Aah! Zombie pastrami!

Darryl, we went over this.

The zombie grandma didn't feel anything

when her face went
through the meat slicer.

She doesn't feel pain
because she's not alive.

- Not-not helping.
- Tina, no one's budging.

I know. I-I need to find something

that will make them
forget what they've seen.

What's the exact opposite
of an R-rated zombie movie?

- I'll be right back.
- Well, she's dead.

Ugh! I'm getting close to passing out.

I think I have to push the panic button.

Yeah, the vent's not working.

Wait. Bob, the vent!

Maybe there's a clue inside. It opens!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

- Aah! Aah!
- Okay, hit the panic button!

- Oh, my God! Aah!
- Hit the panic button!

Hello? Hello?
Where's the guy?!

Let us out!
We're panicking! We're panicking!

Is this how escape
rooms are supposed to work?

Trapped in a room
with a crazy rat?

Nicholas, why is the rat
chasing your dog?

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

He's an emotional support dog.
He's very sensitive.

Ooh, this is a cappella
all over again.

♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪

♪ You're so fine you blow
my mind, hey, Mickey! ♪

Nicholas,
stop doing a Capella!

I can't help it!
I'm having a flashback!

Ruthanne, Nicholas...

I'm-I'm sorry I sent
you that mean text.

I don't want to die knowing
that I hurt your feelings.

Look, we really
need to get out of here.

Can you please help us?

- Yes!
- Yes!

Bob, stick your hand
down the toilet.

- Excuse me?
- It's not a real toilet.

- Just do what I say!
- Okay, okay.

The rat just grazed my foot.

I found something! It's a UV flashlight!

Shine it at the walls and ceiling.

Look! There's secret
writing on the ceiling.

It says "B equals 8."

"A" plus "B" equals 14!

That means "A" equals 6!

So the second number on the
combination lock must be 6!

Oh, my God,
we're crackin' the code!

I feel just like A Beautiful Mind.

Wait. Is that the tape?

I think it is.

Talk about jumping on a grenade.

Everyone, I found
something that might help.

But before I play this,
let me say, I was four,

and I was going through a phase
that I grew out of... mostly.

- Jimmy Jr., close your eyes.
- Okay.

You ready to flush the poopy, sweetie?

Let me sing my song.

♪ Poo, poo, poo, poo ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Poo, poo, poo,
poo, I'll miss you. ♪

- Uh, what's... happening?
- Oh, and cover your ears.

Okay, say "Bye." We're gonna flush now.

Bye, poopy.

Hope you're okay.

Aw, my teeny Tina and her giant poop.

Uh-oh. Second flush.

It's better than I remembered.

- Yikes.
- Yup. Yup.

Well, I loved it, but I wish

they didn't kill off
my favorite character.

So, how's everyone feeling?

I personally am feeling mortified.

I feel better.

That taught me how to laugh again.

And how to love.

Okay, so, bye. Get out.

Geez, now I know how that poop felt.

Yeah, at least sing us
a song, Tina. Come on!

Out! Out! Out!

Okay. Ruthanne figured out

the math problem in the
bible, so now we know

that "P" equals two and "A" equals six.

So we just need to figure out
what the letter "L" equals.

- Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Aah! Aah!

Hey, someone wrote the words

"life in prison" on the calendar.

Ooh, that's a clue. What
date is the letter "L" on?

The fifth. Oh! The last
number on the lock must be 5!

Let's unlock the door!

I'll unlock it.

- Really, Nicholas?
- Yes. I can do this.

- Go, Nicholas.
- Go, Nicholas. Go!

- Go!
- Gee. Nope, can't do it.

Damn it!

Nicholas, you can. You
can. I know you can.

Look, I'll distract the animals somehow
so you can make it, Nicholas.

I'll help you, Bob. I'll
take Lars, you take the rat.

- Wait. What?!
- Uh.

Lars, run to me. Come on.

- Oh, they're both coming to me.
- Go, Nicholas!

I can't remember the numbers!

I can't remember any numbers!

Oh, my God, Nicholas,
it's 265. No pressure!

Right, right, right,
right, right, right.

I unlocked it, and there's a key!

- Yes! Open it! Open it!
- Open it! Open it!

- Open it, honey!
- I opened it!

Come on, Lars.

We escaped!

- Ha! Ha!
- We're free, buddy!

Oh, hey, you guys escaped.

- Were you asleep?
- Uh, I might have dozed off.

- There's a rat in there!
- Oh, shoot.

Uh, the rat was a clue.

- Oh, I don't think so.
- All right, fine.

I'll, uh, I'll give you the
rat-in-the-room discount.

We'll take it. Bob
and Linda, pay the man.

Here's three credit
cards. Spread it around.

And your place smells like farts.

Hey, what are you kids still doing up?

Aw, Tina's poop song!

Yeah, I'm gonna hit it
with a hammer pretty soon.

- How was your double date?
- It was... fun.

It was?! You had fun?

I mean, it was awful, but I
feel kind of brave and smart?

- Me, too!
- Eh, that won't last.

- Yeah, you're right.
- Yeah, yeah, it's already gone.

Why are there so many lamps in here?

We were playing lamps... and we won.

Uh, okay. Well, time for bed.

Mom, Dad, can I sleep
in your room tonight?

- Sure, honey. Is everything okay?
- Oh, yeah. I'm fine.

I'm just gonna need to
sleep with a kitchen knife.

Is that gonna be a problem?

Did you guys watch something scary?

- No.
- Uh-uh.

But maybe I'll sleep in your bed, too,

you know, just to
keep the knife company.

Wait. I want in on that action.

Yay! My little bedbugs!

♪ Best couple friends ♪

♪ We're gonna be
best couple friends ♪

♪ All four of us are gonna
be friends till the end ♪

♪ Best couple friends ♪

♪ We're gonna be
best couple friends ♪

♪ We go great together ♪

♪ Like tonics and gins ♪

♪ And we'll be singing ♪

♪ Someone's on a double couple date ♪

♪ Someone's having fun ♪

♪ Someone's on an
old-time train thingy ♪

♪ 'Cause we rented one ♪

Really?

♪ Best couple friends,
we're gonna be ♪

♪ Best couple friends,
all four of us... ♪