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1
00:00:02,229 --> 00:00:05,173
Perfect. Okay, I'll see you
Sunday. Bye.
2
00:00:05,325 --> 00:00:07,211
Damn, girl. You're planning
the straight hizzell
3
00:00:07,304 --> 00:00:08,535
out of that block party.
4
00:00:08,645 --> 00:00:11,217
"Hizzell"? Are
we just gonna let that slide?
5
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,070
It's gonna be great.
6
00:00:12,164 --> 00:00:13,958
I'm gonna have a deejay
in front of my store, bands,
7
00:00:14,068 --> 00:00:17,475
- Dave's truck... - And I will be unveiling
the new and improved version
8
00:00:17,572 --> 00:00:19,066
of my classic steak sandwich.
9
00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:21,134
I call it "Steak-Point-0."
10
00:00:21,748 --> 00:00:24,601
- So we are just
letting everything slide? - Oy.
11
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:25,801
- Um...
- Okay, does everyone have
12
00:00:25,905 --> 00:00:27,668
something to contribute
for the silent auction?
13
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:30,286
I will be donating
a free PR consultation.
14
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,109
Ohh.
So Penny's offering nothing.
15
00:00:32,207 --> 00:00:34,450
I'll be donating three
centerpieces handmade by me,
16
00:00:34,582 --> 00:00:35,697
perfect for any occasion--
17
00:00:35,805 --> 00:00:37,418
a dinner party,
holiday gathering,
18
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:40,637
centerpiece hall of fame
induction ceremony.
19
00:00:40,829 --> 00:00:42,905
Thanks, Jane. You make
the best centerpieces.
20
00:00:43,034 --> 00:00:43,826
I know.
21
00:00:43,942 --> 00:00:46,606
Oh. Hey, buddy.
How was the funeral?
22
00:00:46,711 --> 00:00:48,131
- Sad.
- Mm-hmm.
23
00:00:48,258 --> 00:00:49,735
Mark was a great hairdresser
24
00:00:49,942 --> 00:00:51,331
and a great guy.
25
00:00:51,846 --> 00:00:54,543
42 years young, and then...
pfft. Dead.
26
00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:56,547
But the real tragedy is...
27
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,640
I need a haircut,
and I ain't got no place to go.
28
00:00:59,741 --> 00:01:01,937
Yeah, that's definitely
the real tragedy here.
29
00:01:02,037 --> 00:01:02,981
What about my barbershop?
30
00:01:03,088 --> 00:01:04,552
Nah. I can't keep arguing
with those guys
31
00:01:04,646 --> 00:01:06,076
about Tyler Perry movies
anymore.
32
00:01:06,174 --> 00:01:07,650
Black folks like Tyler Perry,
Max.
33
00:01:07,796 --> 00:01:09,752
No, I love Tyler Perry movies.
34
00:01:09,878 --> 00:01:12,090
It's Ray-Ray and Tooches
that think it's implausible
35
00:01:12,209 --> 00:01:13,742
for Madea to keep going back
to prison.
36
00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:16,257
But like I told them,
mama got tax problems.
37
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,791
- You should go see Krisjahn.
- Yeah.
38
00:01:17,904 --> 00:01:19,489
Alex and I have been
going to him for years.
39
00:01:19,588 --> 00:01:20,536
Chris John?
40
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:21,854
- No. Krisjahn.
- Christian.
41
00:01:21,973 --> 00:01:22,996
- Mnh-mnh.
- No. Krisjahn.
42
00:01:23,113 --> 00:01:25,530
K-R-I-S-J-A-H-N.
43
00:01:25,655 --> 00:01:27,869
Krisjahn. Very common
gay-fake-French name.
44
00:01:27,958 --> 00:01:30,907
No, no, Max.
You're a man, like me.
45
00:01:31,004 --> 00:01:34,165
You need to go to a man
who cuts man hair man-style.
46
00:01:34,415 --> 00:01:36,690
Trust me. I got a guy.
47
00:01:38,222 --> 00:01:40,011
- Hey, guys.
- Sacre bleu!
48
00:01:40,169 --> 00:01:42,764
Dude, you look like Suze Orman
if she stopped shaving.
49
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:44,916
You look like a keytar player
in a Christian rock band.
50
00:01:45,019 --> 00:01:46,897
- You look like Alf.
- You look like an assistant manager
51
00:01:46,998 --> 00:01:48,487
at a Jacksonville multiplex.
52
00:01:48,588 --> 00:01:49,846
I think I need
Chris John's number.
53
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:52,080
Krisjahn.
54
00:01:52,171 --> 00:01:55,819
Wait. Am I seriously
the only one feeling this?
55
00:01:56,058 --> 00:01:57,123
Yes.
56
00:01:58,878 --> 00:02:00,031
- What?
- What?
57
00:02:00,431 --> 00:02:01,222
Ugh.
58
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,310
- What?!
- What?!
59
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:08,905
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
60
00:02:12,402 --> 00:02:14,306
Okay, taste testers,
61
00:02:14,412 --> 00:02:15,868
Steak Me Home Tonight
and Dave Rose,
62
00:02:15,973 --> 00:02:17,587
in conjunction
with beef and cheese,
63
00:02:17,675 --> 00:02:19,132
proudly present...
64
00:02:19,703 --> 00:02:20,806
the Steak-Point-0.
65
00:02:20,901 --> 00:02:22,048
- Mmm.
- Yay.
66
00:02:23,532 --> 00:02:25,180
- Mnh-mnh. No.
- No. No.
67
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:26,557
- Ugh. Nope. Steak-point-no.
- Mnh-mnh.
68
00:02:26,659 --> 00:02:27,734
Sorry, but that tastes like...
69
00:02:28,691 --> 00:02:29,708
outside.
70
00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:32,074
If you made tea out of
a taxi driver's underpants
71
00:02:32,198 --> 00:02:34,526
and then...
no. Fart paper.
72
00:02:34,659 --> 00:02:36,214
- Yes.
- That is definitely fart paper.
73
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,194
Am I tasting a hard yogurt?
Is that a thing?
74
00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:40,092
That is nowhere near as good
as hard yogurt.
75
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:42,580
Dave, what happened to your
old sandwich? It was great.
76
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:43,706
Boring!
77
00:02:43,802 --> 00:02:45,598
I gotta mix it up a little bit,
all right?
78
00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:46,890
I'm not getting
any new customers,
79
00:02:47,030 --> 00:02:48,136
I got zero Tweets,
80
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,267
and the only review on Yelp
I got was from my mom,
81
00:02:50,382 --> 00:02:51,823
when she thought she was
e-mailing me.
82
00:02:51,951 --> 00:02:53,327
"Davey, what's the name
of that movie
83
00:02:53,448 --> 00:02:55,367
about the horse
that goes to the war?"
84
00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,999
Uh, "War Biscuit."
Duh.
85
00:02:58,123 --> 00:02:59,050
Say, Dave,
86
00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:01,449
since I just did you a favor
by eating your gross sandwich,
87
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:02,954
I'd like a favor in return.
88
00:03:03,056 --> 00:03:04,449
See, I just bought
this new armoire--
89
00:03:04,558 --> 00:03:06,262
Well, it's been years
since I appraised anything,
90
00:03:06,399 --> 00:03:07,546
- but I guess I--
- No, I was hoping
91
00:03:07,653 --> 00:03:09,262
I could borrow your truck
to move it to my place.
92
00:03:09,418 --> 00:03:10,539
Yeah. Sure.
You need any help?
93
00:03:10,645 --> 00:03:13,084
- No, thanks. I've got Alex and Jane.
- Oh.
94
00:03:13,207 --> 00:03:15,281
We used to move mattresses for
our dad's store in the summer.
95
00:03:15,385 --> 00:03:16,799
Ah, we made bank.
96
00:03:16,939 --> 00:03:18,253
Remember that guy
who tipped us extra
97
00:03:18,358 --> 00:03:20,127
because we agreed to dress up
as his dead daughters?
98
00:03:20,258 --> 00:03:21,425
Jeffrey!
We're Facebook friends.
99
00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:22,698
Ah! Send me the link
to that page.
100
00:03:22,792 --> 00:03:23,790
- Oh, he'll love that.
- Hmm.
101
00:03:23,915 --> 00:03:25,898
Okay. Well,
the truck's all yours.
102
00:03:26,013 --> 00:03:28,146
But beware. She has some quirks.
103
00:03:28,372 --> 00:03:31,038
- Now this unlocks the door.
- Okay.
104
00:03:31,186 --> 00:03:34,772
And this starts the engine.
105
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,058
Oh, and when you honk the horn,
106
00:03:36,162 --> 00:03:38,174
she plays "Someone's
In The Kitchen With Dinah."
107
00:03:38,315 --> 00:03:39,947
- Why?
- Because...
108
00:03:40,074 --> 00:03:42,853
Someone's in the kitchen
with David
109
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,526
chompin' on a steak sando,
oh, oh
110
00:03:45,633 --> 00:03:47,599
Dave, you are
one of my oldest friends,
111
00:03:47,715 --> 00:03:50,170
but if we met now,
we'd be enemies.
112
00:03:50,302 --> 00:03:51,507
Thanks for the truck!
113
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,793
Bye!
114
00:03:53,466 --> 00:03:56,127
Oh, thank you so much
for helping me, Krisjahn.
115
00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:59,228
Anything for a friend
of Alex and Jane's.
116
00:03:59,338 --> 00:04:02,256
Sit back, relax, and we'll
have you looking more "Max"
117
00:04:02,369 --> 00:04:05,633
and less "retired
air force lesbian" in no time.
118
00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:07,163
Ahh, gay wit--
119
00:04:07,292 --> 00:04:09,227
the white noise
of the hair salon.
120
00:04:09,355 --> 00:04:13,616
So... how is Alex's block party
coming along?
121
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:14,954
Is that what's happening
this week?
122
00:04:15,048 --> 00:04:16,286
I-I-I have not
been paying attention.
123
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,464
Jane doesn't think
Alex can pull it off
124
00:04:18,538 --> 00:04:19,892
'cause she's such a flake.
125
00:04:19,987 --> 00:04:20,576
Hmm?
126
00:04:20,703 --> 00:04:23,247
And Alex thinks thinks
Jane's centerpieces are,
127
00:04:23,355 --> 00:04:27,188
quote, "pieces from the center
of a person's butt..."
128
00:04:27,291 --> 00:04:28,001
What?
129
00:04:28,112 --> 00:04:30,224
"And that person is not well,
darling."
130
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:31,606
Do they talk that kind of trash
131
00:04:31,717 --> 00:04:33,334
behind each other's backs
to you?
132
00:04:33,435 --> 00:04:34,999
They've been bitch-hissing
about each other to me
133
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:38,308
for years,and not just the small stuff.
134
00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:39,777
Unh!
Now well don't stop there!
135
00:04:39,865 --> 00:04:41,476
Give me all the good stuff,
fellow gaylord.
136
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,469
- You want something big?
- Oh, I want something big, girl.
137
00:04:43,606 --> 00:04:46,327
Okay. Um...
Jane thinks Alex is
138
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,181
a disappointment
to their parents.
139
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:50,748
That... is... awesome.
140
00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:51,637
Well, get this.
141
00:04:51,752 --> 00:04:52,447
- Alex...
- Uh-huh?
142
00:04:52,589 --> 00:04:54,428
...says that Jane is
only into black guys...
143
00:04:54,536 --> 00:04:56,464
- Uh-huh?
- ...because she lost her virginity
144
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,396
at the drive-in screening
of "Big Momma's House."
145
00:04:59,506 --> 00:05:01,291
Ohh! Hallelujah!
146
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:02,747
This is like gay Christmas!
147
00:05:02,858 --> 00:05:05,016
Oh, hold up.
That's the Oscars.
148
00:05:05,122 --> 00:05:05,817
Right. Yes.
149
00:05:05,912 --> 00:05:07,109
- Yeah.
- Of course. I'm sorry.
150
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:08,995
Dude, check it out.
151
00:05:09,107 --> 00:05:10,900
So I went to Krisjahn
to get my hair fixed--
152
00:05:11,009 --> 00:05:12,354
- That's fixed?
- Whatever.
153
00:05:12,471 --> 00:05:15,887
Anyway... he told me
about all this trash
154
00:05:15,978 --> 00:05:16,860
that Alex and Jane have
155
00:05:16,951 --> 00:05:18,700
been talking about each other
there for years.
156
00:05:18,871 --> 00:05:21,054
I mean, really hurtful,
venge-filled,
157
00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:22,784
soul-crushing stuff.
158
00:05:23,207 --> 00:05:24,431
It was hilarious.
159
00:05:24,577 --> 00:05:26,639
- Yep. I know all about it.
- You do?
160
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:28,537
That's how the Kerkoviches
deal with their stuff.
161
00:05:28,653 --> 00:05:30,363
They talk to someone else,
never each other.
162
00:05:30,466 --> 00:05:32,029
That is the dumbest
thing I've ever heard,
163
00:05:32,163 --> 00:05:34,045
and I've heard Alex and Dave
talk about the Civil War.
164
00:05:34,171 --> 00:05:35,193
Well, that's what they do.
165
00:05:35,310 --> 00:05:36,922
I mean, Alex and Jane
tried being honest
166
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,478
with each other,
like, 20 years ago.
167
00:05:38,593 --> 00:05:41,732
The fight lasted for weeks.
The family never talks about it.
168
00:05:41,871 --> 00:05:45,042
They just call it...
"The incident."
169
00:05:47,031 --> 00:05:48,534
That sounds amazing.
170
00:05:48,643 --> 00:05:49,684
Yeah.
171
00:05:50,592 --> 00:05:52,804
Dude...
do not stir this up.
172
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:54,552
I don't need any more drama,
all right?
173
00:05:54,664 --> 00:05:55,975
Seriously, I just watched
"Nurse Jackie,"
174
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,959
and I cannot handle
any more drama right now.
175
00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:00,660
- Of course not.
- Thanks. Wait.
176
00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:02,577
Are you doing that thing
where you say, "of course not,"
177
00:06:02,689 --> 00:06:03,837
and then you go do it anyway?
178
00:06:03,938 --> 00:06:05,423
I would never
do that to you, man.
179
00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:07,109
Thanks.
180
00:06:07,238 --> 00:06:08,325
Wait.
181
00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:09,935
Now are you doing that thing
where you say,
182
00:06:10,051 --> 00:06:11,858
"I'd never do that to you, man"
after I've questioned
183
00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:13,583
the sincerity
of your "of course not"?
184
00:06:13,672 --> 00:06:16,704
Of course not. I would never
do that to you, man.
185
00:06:16,908 --> 00:06:18,248
Thanks, man.
186
00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:19,424
Wait!
187
00:06:20,187 --> 00:06:21,025
I like your hair.
188
00:06:21,113 --> 00:06:22,732
- Thanks.
- I'm lying.
189
00:06:24,363 --> 00:06:26,671
Thank you, guys, so much
for helping me with the armoire.
190
00:06:26,768 --> 00:06:30,612
I guess you could say you're
my knights in shining armoire.
191
00:06:31,829 --> 00:06:32,725
Or you could not say it.
192
00:06:32,821 --> 00:06:34,368
Up to you.
I'm not your mouth boss.
193
00:06:34,507 --> 00:06:35,548
But seriously, thank you.
194
00:06:35,692 --> 00:06:38,164
Well, thank, uh,
muscle-boobs over here.
195
00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:39,261
She did most of the work.
196
00:06:39,452 --> 00:06:42,812
I got it.
It's all good. I got this.
197
00:06:42,922 --> 00:06:44,177
- It's all in the legs...
- Mm.
198
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,600
...from yay to hay.
199
00:06:46,182 --> 00:06:48,661
Wait. Didn't we park
Dave's truck right here?
200
00:06:48,859 --> 00:06:49,816
Yeah.
201
00:06:50,406 --> 00:06:52,398
Wait. Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
202
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,664
- Do you know what this means?
- Ghost truck?!
203
00:06:54,785 --> 00:06:57,230
No, it means that
Dave's truck was stolen.
204
00:06:57,357 --> 00:06:59,727
Right! Of course. Of course.
205
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,713
Ghosts don't drive.
206
00:07:01,881 --> 00:07:03,151
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
207
00:07:12,761 --> 00:07:14,107
Dave?
208
00:07:14,948 --> 00:07:16,751
I've got some bad news.
209
00:07:16,844 --> 00:07:18,792
Oh, my God. Something
happened to Dave Matthews, didn't it?
210
00:07:18,976 --> 00:07:19,748
It did, didn't it?
211
00:07:19,836 --> 00:07:21,140
I had that
weird dream, and now he's gone--
212
00:07:21,231 --> 00:07:22,977
Stop it!
No, Dave Matthews is fine.
213
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,040
I mean, he's puffy
and he sounds like
214
00:07:24,140 --> 00:07:26,581
- he's got a squirrel in his mouth,
but he's fine. - Thank God.
215
00:07:26,965 --> 00:07:28,161
Someone stole your truck.
216
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,346
- What?!
- I don't know what happened.
217
00:07:29,471 --> 00:07:30,160
I locked the doors,
218
00:07:30,271 --> 00:07:31,451
I took the screwdriver
out of the ignition,
219
00:07:31,567 --> 00:07:34,410
- I put it on the dash--
- You left the screwdriver on the dash?!
220
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:36,473
That's practically
an invitation to steal it!
221
00:07:36,569 --> 00:07:38,414
I am so, so sorry.
222
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:41,022
Oh! What am I gonna do?
That truck was my livelihood!
223
00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:42,450
How am I gonna pay the bills?
224
00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:44,702
I can't go back to being
a wild turkey shot boy.
225
00:07:44,807 --> 00:07:45,473
I've put on weight.
226
00:07:45,568 --> 00:07:47,103
I don't have the legs
to be a little gobbler.
227
00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:48,237
Well, we should call the cops.
228
00:07:48,353 --> 00:07:51,501
No. No, don't be naive.
The cops don't find stolen cars.
229
00:07:51,631 --> 00:07:53,302
Plus they only help
white people.
230
00:07:53,455 --> 00:07:55,960
- I'm sorry?
- I'm 1/16th Navajo.
231
00:07:56,438 --> 00:07:58,495
Well, we should at least go out
and try to find your truck.
232
00:07:58,611 --> 00:07:59,718
I mean, we found your clogs
233
00:07:59,832 --> 00:08:01,499
that time you left them
at the duck pond.
234
00:08:02,142 --> 00:08:04,005
All right.
Fine, let's go find it.
235
00:08:04,113 --> 00:08:06,736
But in the off-off chance that
we do find it...
236
00:08:07,194 --> 00:08:08,593
I'm gonna bring my spare key.
237
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:14,530
I screwed the pooch.
238
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,498
I wined it, I dined it,
239
00:08:16,610 --> 00:08:18,153
I told it it was cute
and that I valued its opinions,
240
00:08:18,254 --> 00:08:19,879
even though I don't,
and then I screwed it.
241
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,140
Um... what are you
talking about?
242
00:08:22,231 --> 00:08:25,116
Okay, I was at Krisjahn's with
Jane, and then Alex came in.
243
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:26,551
And then they started complimenting
each other...
244
00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:28,986
about the block party
and the centerpieces and...
245
00:08:29,086 --> 00:08:30,752
No. Tell me you didn't.
246
00:08:30,879 --> 00:08:31,790
I did.
247
00:08:31,891 --> 00:08:34,187
I told them all the things
that Krisjahn told me.
248
00:08:34,294 --> 00:08:37,386
- All the smack.
- Damn you, you Kevin Smith smell-alike!
249
00:08:37,486 --> 00:08:38,594
But it was super funny!
250
00:08:38,699 --> 00:08:39,727
Then it got super scary,
251
00:08:39,945 --> 00:08:41,724
like when my grandpa got on
that trampoline.
252
00:08:41,841 --> 00:08:43,022
And much like Pop Irving,
253
00:08:43,178 --> 00:08:45,050
they're not gonna stop
till they're dead.
254
00:08:45,183 --> 00:08:46,402
I can't believe you did this.
255
00:08:47,279 --> 00:08:48,478
I'm gonna be sick.
256
00:08:48,606 --> 00:08:49,499
I didn't...
257
00:08:49,609 --> 00:08:50,973
- I d--
- Oh, wait. Oh, God.
258
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,774
- It's your fault!
- Ugh!
259
00:08:52,888 --> 00:08:54,548
I mean, you practically
begged me to do it
260
00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:55,954
by begging me not to do it.
261
00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:58,173
In fact, sir, I would like
an apology. I am hurt.
262
00:08:58,275 --> 00:09:00,324
I am deeply hurt that you do not
know me well enough
263
00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:02,020
to know that I would
screw this up for you.
264
00:09:02,135 --> 00:09:04,157
You have no idea what
you've just started, Max.
265
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:05,843
People are going to get hurt,
266
00:09:06,082 --> 00:09:08,129
family members forced
to take sides,
267
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,320
innocent brads yelled at
and denied sex for weeks!
268
00:09:12,728 --> 00:09:14,187
Winter is coming.
269
00:09:15,129 --> 00:09:17,291
Well...
good luck with that.
270
00:09:17,411 --> 00:09:19,087
- No!
- Okay.
271
00:09:19,531 --> 00:09:21,621
You are gonna help me fix this.
272
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:22,567
Me?
273
00:09:23,308 --> 00:09:26,040
Okay!
I'll clean up your mess.
274
00:09:26,638 --> 00:09:27,967
I'd still like that apology.
275
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,227
Aah!
276
00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:30,651
Fair enough.
277
00:09:31,746 --> 00:09:34,031
Penny, this isn't gonna work.
The truck is gone.
278
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,777
Plus the flyer's kinda
misleading.
279
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,140
Looks like I'm the one
that's lost, not the truck.
280
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,072
No, it doesn't.
281
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,903
Hey.
I found your lost guy.
282
00:09:41,993 --> 00:09:44,922
No, the guy is not lost.
The truck is lost.
283
00:09:45,029 --> 00:09:47,275
You know, your flyer's
kind of misleading.
284
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:49,891
- Told you.
- So about the reward--
285
00:09:49,993 --> 00:09:52,507
The reward is for the truck.
286
00:09:52,628 --> 00:09:54,304
Whoa. Wait a minute. You know
what-- you know what that is?
287
00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:56,229
- Oh! Oh! Okay! Whoa! - You know
what that is? You know what that is?
288
00:09:56,328 --> 00:09:58,944
- Is that what I think it is?!
- Whoa!
289
00:09:59,030 --> 00:09:59,789
My truck!
290
00:09:59,897 --> 00:10:01,739
Some guy is selling sandwiches
out of your truck!
291
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,352
Son of a bitch!
292
00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:04,942
Look at how busy he is!
293
00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:05,832
Hey.
294
00:10:05,928 --> 00:10:07,361
I found your lost truck.
295
00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:11,834
Okay, you guys are in
a stupid lady fight.
296
00:10:11,952 --> 00:10:13,577
We get it. You're ladies.
297
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,788
Your brains are
tiny and filled with eggs.
298
00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,033
Let's just move on.
299
00:10:17,119 --> 00:10:19,118
What my pear-shaped colleague
is trying to say--
300
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:21,406
Whoa. "Pear-shaped"?
I just bought a medicine ball.
301
00:10:21,512 --> 00:10:23,012
You two are sisters, okay?
302
00:10:23,116 --> 00:10:24,338
You've shared
so many good times,
303
00:10:24,453 --> 00:10:27,110
like that summer at the lake
in high school. Remember that?
304
00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:30,996
Ohh.
Yeah.
305
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:31,964
Yeah!
306
00:10:32,052 --> 00:10:33,337
Good times!
307
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:35,045
- Yeah, yeah, yeah...
- Till I was grounded
308
00:10:35,144 --> 00:10:36,859
because Alex ratted me out
for smoking cloves.
309
00:10:36,953 --> 00:10:37,929
I am not a rat!
310
00:10:38,039 --> 00:10:40,213
Mom knew you were smoking
'cause you smelt like an ashtray
311
00:10:40,321 --> 00:10:41,758
and your voice was deeper
than dad's.
312
00:10:41,863 --> 00:10:43,495
- You shut up!
- There it is.
313
00:10:43,622 --> 00:10:45,617
Guys, come on.
You're adults, okay?
314
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,547
Can't you just talk this out?
315
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,585
- Yes. Yes. Yeah, talk it right out.
- Thank you.
316
00:10:53,693 --> 00:10:55,519
- Okay, I'm prepared, too.
- Where did you get that from?!
317
00:10:55,636 --> 00:10:56,990
- Ohh!
- I'm prepared, girl!
318
00:10:57,109 --> 00:10:58,784
- Bring it! - We can talk--
- Oh, I will bring it!
319
00:10:58,881 --> 00:11:00,655
I will! I'm gonna bring it!
320
00:11:00,919 --> 00:11:02,282
Come on, lady! Bring it!
321
00:11:02,419 --> 00:11:04,598
- And I'm gonna end you!
- Whoa!
322
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:06,218
She's making nunchakus!
Abort!
323
00:11:06,318 --> 00:11:07,486
Aah!
324
00:11:07,573 --> 00:11:08,931
- Whoa! Whoa! Separate 'em!
- Ow!
325
00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:12,786
You were adopted!
326
00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,322
You were born a man!
327
00:11:15,972 --> 00:11:17,505
Can you believe this?!
328
00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:18,580
I know!
329
00:11:18,664 --> 00:11:20,998
This is the best steak sandwich
I've ever had!
330
00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:22,243
Wait. You went over there,
331
00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:23,825
face-to-face with the guy
who stole your truck,
332
00:11:23,931 --> 00:11:25,461
and you bought a sandwich
from him?
333
00:11:25,563 --> 00:11:26,762
No. No.
334
00:11:26,885 --> 00:11:28,033
No, I bought two.
335
00:11:28,130 --> 00:11:28,910
What?!
336
00:11:28,999 --> 00:11:30,842
Pen, I have been struggling
to create a sando
337
00:11:30,947 --> 00:11:32,308
that'll get people excited.
338
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:33,837
Well, this guy did it!
339
00:11:33,962 --> 00:11:35,965
And the truck is killing
on Twitter and Yelp.
340
00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:37,836
Look. "Amazing sandwiches."
341
00:11:37,949 --> 00:11:39,134
"My new favorite truck."
342
00:11:39,256 --> 00:11:41,717
"Davey, don't go to salad bars.
I saw something on the news."
343
00:11:41,811 --> 00:11:43,386
All right, that's another one
from my mom,
344
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,316
but you get the point.
345
00:11:44,415 --> 00:11:45,534
Well, she's right
about the salad bars.
346
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:47,821
Hobos eat out of those things
with their own silverware.
347
00:11:47,935 --> 00:11:50,675
But, Dave, this jerk
stole your truck,
348
00:11:50,782 --> 00:11:52,945
and now by some miracle
we have found it.
349
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,272
It is obvious
what we have to do--
350
00:11:55,392 --> 00:11:58,160
- take back the truck. - Eat these
sandwiches till we figure out the recipe.
351
00:12:00,146 --> 00:12:02,317
No, you're right.
Yeah. Take back the truck.
352
00:12:03,986 --> 00:12:05,229
What are we gonna do, man?
353
00:12:05,426 --> 00:12:06,555
If Jane and Alex
keep fighting like this,
354
00:12:06,658 --> 00:12:09,129
someone's gonna get killed.
They'll end up in prison.
355
00:12:09,265 --> 00:12:10,985
Illinois doesn't allow
conjugal visits!
356
00:12:11,094 --> 00:12:11,809
The best I'll do is
357
00:12:11,917 --> 00:12:14,076
Jane spitting on my neck
through a chain-link fence.
358
00:12:14,195 --> 00:12:15,269
You could do worse.
359
00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:16,332
All right!
Fine, fine, fine, fine!
360
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:18,356
How did their first fight end?
361
00:12:18,716 --> 00:12:20,279
I don't know.
362
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,101
I called Jane's parents,
363
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,805
but they're on
a Fox News cruise.
364
00:12:23,934 --> 00:12:26,337
Right now they're dolphin
hunting with Geraldo Rivera.
365
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:28,279
Wait. Jane's in charge
366
00:12:28,391 --> 00:12:30,368
of all the Kerkovich family
photos and stuff.
367
00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:31,817
She keeps them
in a storage unit.
368
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:33,781
Great! To the Max Mobile!
369
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,257
By which, of course,
I mean your Prius,
370
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:36,410
which I sometimes sleep in.
371
00:12:38,054 --> 00:12:39,724
That's so sad.
372
00:12:40,643 --> 00:12:42,428
Ah! Hee!
373
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:47,336
Ah, stupid flashlight!
Why you so stupid all the time?
374
00:12:47,497 --> 00:12:49,369
You know I almost lived
in one of these?
375
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:52,316
Then I found an abandoned
tugboat, and it was way cheaper.
376
00:12:52,421 --> 00:12:55,286
Great story, Max. Great.
377
00:12:55,377 --> 00:12:57,188
Aah! Aah!
378
00:12:57,316 --> 00:12:59,683
He got me! Help me!
Help me, Oprah!
379
00:12:59,799 --> 00:13:01,880
Help me! Aah!
380
00:13:02,436 --> 00:13:04,813
Dude, it's you.
381
00:13:06,484 --> 00:13:07,711
It is me.
382
00:13:10,128 --> 00:13:12,050
And he's anatomically correct.
383
00:13:12,270 --> 00:13:13,437
Why would Jane have
one of these?
384
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,172
I don't know, and I don't want
to talk about it.
385
00:13:15,278 --> 00:13:17,853
Really? 'Cause it is allI wanna talk about.
386
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,105
Can we just do what
we came here to do, man?
387
00:13:19,209 --> 00:13:20,497
Yes. Sorry.
388
00:13:21,486 --> 00:13:22,731
Stop looking at him.
389
00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:25,547
Okay, the incident happened
in 1993.
390
00:13:25,736 --> 00:13:27,640
This place is so organized.
391
00:13:27,761 --> 00:13:28,823
It's totally taking the fun out
392
00:13:28,929 --> 00:13:30,814
of searching through
a creepy storage space.
393
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,666
Less yappin' and more findin',
brah.
394
00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:33,693
Mm-hmm.
395
00:13:33,989 --> 00:13:36,865
We will find
what we're looking for
396
00:13:36,962 --> 00:13:38,628
before we get to the door
397
00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:40,374
-
we will find--
- Uhh!
398
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:43,535
Cool.
399
00:13:43,676 --> 00:13:45,729
It's one of Alex's
fourth grade book reports.
400
00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:47,119
_
401
00:13:47,547 --> 00:13:48,682
Yeah, she dumb.
402
00:13:49,349 --> 00:13:50,351
Oh!
403
00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:51,814
Look.
404
00:13:51,938 --> 00:13:53,717
Articles from
their neighborhood paper.
405
00:13:53,846 --> 00:13:54,936
What? Yes!
406
00:13:55,106 --> 00:13:56,317
Sweet. Okay.
407
00:13:56,452 --> 00:13:59,119
"Sisters fight
in grocery store"? No.
408
00:13:59,212 --> 00:14:00,960
"Sisters cause
traffic hazard."
409
00:14:01,949 --> 00:14:03,859
"Sisters burn down
family garage"?
410
00:14:03,961 --> 00:14:05,698
I gotta tell ya, I don't know
what is more disturbing--
411
00:14:05,819 --> 00:14:07,185
how much chaos
Alex and Jane have caused
412
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,826
or how much attention this paper
paid to two little girls.
413
00:14:09,990 --> 00:14:12,440
Oh! "Sisters make peace."
414
00:14:13,091 --> 00:14:14,418
Yes! That's it.
415
00:14:14,571 --> 00:14:15,493
Jackpotty.
416
00:14:15,902 --> 00:14:17,622
Now come on. The block party
starts in 12 hours.
417
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:18,817
- They'll both be there.
- Yeah.
418
00:14:18,946 --> 00:14:19,738
Yeah.
419
00:14:19,844 --> 00:14:22,398
Hey, why does this thing have
a motor on the back?
420
00:14:22,483 --> 00:14:24,315
I don't
want to talk about it, man!
421
00:14:33,044 --> 00:14:34,629
Thanks. Come again.
422
00:14:34,846 --> 00:14:38,049
More like don't come again,
'cause this guy's a dirty crook!
423
00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:39,288
I mean, please come again
424
00:14:39,387 --> 00:14:41,609
once we restore this truck
to its rightful owner.
425
00:14:41,739 --> 00:14:44,111
Appreciate your biz.
Okay, bye!
426
00:14:44,219 --> 00:14:45,161
You stole Dave's truck!
427
00:14:45,261 --> 00:14:46,759
Yeah, my truck!
428
00:14:46,869 --> 00:14:47,823
Although, that being said,
429
00:14:47,926 --> 00:14:49,514
your cooking has
this playfulness.
430
00:14:49,618 --> 00:14:51,448
I mean, I-I just can't
stop smiling.
431
00:14:51,537 --> 00:14:52,615
David, focus!
432
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,796
I don't know what
you guys are talking about.
433
00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:56,008
This is my truck!
434
00:14:56,138 --> 00:14:58,248
That's my sink,
this is my grill,
435
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,947
these are my pictures of you...
crap!
436
00:15:01,062 --> 00:15:01,773
How did you think
437
00:15:01,873 --> 00:15:03,666
you were gonna get away
with stealing Dave's truck
438
00:15:03,763 --> 00:15:06,807
and then serving sandwiches out
of it in the same neighborhood?
439
00:15:06,922 --> 00:15:08,989
I didn't think.
I just felt.
440
00:15:09,154 --> 00:15:11,774
Meat is an instrument,
and I wanted to play it,
441
00:15:11,891 --> 00:15:15,312
so I did, 'cause I live my life
like jazz.
442
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:17,056
Right on, man.
443
00:15:17,239 --> 00:15:18,885
You disgust me.
We're calling the cops.
444
00:15:18,982 --> 00:15:20,807
Yeah! Unless...
445
00:15:21,281 --> 00:15:22,332
you give me the recipe.
446
00:15:22,429 --> 00:15:23,730
Yeah! Wait. What?!
447
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,506
I need those sandos, Penny.
448
00:15:25,627 --> 00:15:26,952
Okay. Sure.
449
00:15:27,121 --> 00:15:28,333
I basically just used
450
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:30,488
the dry rub you already had
in the truck...
451
00:15:30,803 --> 00:15:34,130
plus...
one secret ingredient.
452
00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:36,317
Love.
453
00:15:36,883 --> 00:15:40,105
Of course,
you beautiful bastard! Love!
454
00:15:40,312 --> 00:15:42,525
I was so focused
on my success and reviews,
455
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:44,285
I completely forgot about the craft.
456
00:15:44,393 --> 00:15:46,635
I literally make love
to the meat.
457
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:48,623
M'kay.
458
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,564
We're definitely
calling the cops now, man.
459
00:15:53,533 --> 00:15:54,703
I'll never forget you, Dave!
460
00:15:55,796 --> 00:15:57,614
No! Oh, never! Never!
461
00:15:57,732 --> 00:15:59,331
Mm, you gotta admire
his passion.
462
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:00,812
And his little rat butt.
463
00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:04,092
Hey. Where's Jane and Alex?
464
00:16:04,204 --> 00:16:05,037
Okay, you'd better hurry.
465
00:16:05,133 --> 00:16:06,206
They're over there
and they're gettin' louder.
466
00:16:06,302 --> 00:16:08,010
I just heard the phrase
"from your V to your A."
467
00:16:08,117 --> 00:16:09,269
- Are you kidding me right now?!
- Not even a little bit.
468
00:16:09,378 --> 00:16:11,811
What?! You gave me a serious
addiction to candy cigarettes.
469
00:16:11,909 --> 00:16:14,018
You broke
my Bob Dole action figure!
470
00:16:14,118 --> 00:16:15,976
Hear me, Kerkoviches!
471
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:19,912
This ends... now!
472
00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:21,522
Uh, where did you get those?
473
00:16:21,657 --> 00:16:22,509
From her.
474
00:16:26,299 --> 00:16:28,012
- Nana!
- Nana!
475
00:16:28,241 --> 00:16:29,356
She's still alive?
476
00:16:29,459 --> 00:16:31,078
Yeah, Kerkovich women
have good genes.
477
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,992
If they don't die
in a war or a turnip famine,
478
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,371
they live forever.
479
00:16:35,555 --> 00:16:38,876
Sestra... ples.
480
00:16:39,836 --> 00:16:40,602
Nana.
481
00:16:40,657 --> 00:16:41,931
- Nana.
- Oh, God.
482
00:16:42,047 --> 00:16:43,257
Mm.
483
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:48,009
What is going on?
484
00:16:48,128 --> 00:16:49,992
Well, apparently, the last time
they fought like this...
485
00:16:50,107 --> 00:16:51,114
The incident.
486
00:16:51,242 --> 00:16:52,213
...Nana said
that they brought shame
487
00:16:52,329 --> 00:16:54,258
onto the entire Kerkovich
family.
488
00:16:54,362 --> 00:16:55,912
She said Kerkoviches
fight Croats,
489
00:16:56,036 --> 00:16:58,662
Turks, Albanians,
and non-like-minded Christians,
490
00:16:58,777 --> 00:17:00,420
- but never each other.
- You know, I was surprised
491
00:17:00,529 --> 00:17:02,463
- to find that quote in the newspaper.
- Me, too.
492
00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:06,744
Anyway, then Nana made
Jane and Alex do sestra ples.
493
00:17:06,847 --> 00:17:08,015
What is that?
494
00:17:11,923 --> 00:17:13,432
- The sister dance.
- The sister dance.
495
00:17:13,521 --> 00:17:14,538
They're dancing without me?
496
00:17:14,645 --> 00:17:16,273
- Ugh!
- Seriously?
497
00:17:18,369 --> 00:17:19,406
Ohh!
498
00:17:26,919 --> 00:17:27,950
Ohh!
499
00:17:33,092 --> 00:17:34,942
It's not working.
500
00:17:35,398 --> 00:17:37,895
No. Let them dance.
501
00:17:52,921 --> 00:17:54,120
Wait. They're smiling.
502
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,720
They're having fun!
503
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:00,203
They're not fighting anymore.
504
00:18:00,297 --> 00:18:01,405
Aw!
505
00:18:06,436 --> 00:18:07,763
Hup! Hup! Hup!
506
00:18:08,038 --> 00:18:09,518
Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!
Hup! Hup! Hup!
507
00:18:16,636 --> 00:18:17,390
Ahh. I'm sorry.
508
00:18:17,469 --> 00:18:18,775
Me, too.
509
00:18:22,929 --> 00:18:24,938
Well, I'll be damned.
It worked!
510
00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:27,120
Of course.
511
00:18:27,217 --> 00:18:30,785
The dance reminded them
that they are sisters.
512
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:33,355
They are Serbians.
513
00:18:33,497 --> 00:18:35,645
They are members
of the master race
514
00:18:35,772 --> 00:18:39,015
that will one day
bathe in the blood of the--
515
00:18:39,112 --> 00:18:41,435
Okay, Nana. All right.
That's enough.
516
00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:43,727
I could've sworn
I was at her funeral.
517
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,794
It was an open casket!
518
00:18:46,236 --> 00:18:47,384
Yay!
519
00:18:47,496 --> 00:18:48,673
Yeah!
520
00:18:49,853 --> 00:18:51,417
Master plan!
521
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,674
Girl! That's...
522
00:18:54,291 --> 00:18:56,226
sestra ples.
523
00:19:03,432 --> 00:19:06,950
So... elephant in the room,
um...
524
00:19:07,074 --> 00:19:09,479
why do you have
a life-size dummy of me again?
525
00:19:09,836 --> 00:19:11,966
Well, you were traveling a lot
on business,
526
00:19:12,075 --> 00:19:14,515
- and I was watching a ton
of Nancy Grace... - Mm-hmm.
527
00:19:14,642 --> 00:19:17,561
...so I made this guy to make it
seem like you were home.
528
00:19:18,079 --> 00:19:19,741
- Oh.
- Yeah.
529
00:19:20,281 --> 00:19:21,699
I am home now.
530
00:19:21,796 --> 00:19:23,786
We are eating broccoliand dinner.
531
00:19:23,868 --> 00:19:25,170
Time to watch sport game.
532
00:19:25,849 --> 00:19:27,276
Go, home team!
533
00:19:27,722 --> 00:19:28,760
Oh.
534
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,033
I get it.
That makes more sense.
535
00:19:30,132 --> 00:19:31,452
- Yeah.
- It's just for security.
536
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:32,634
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
537
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,252
You are my everything.
538
00:19:34,377 --> 00:19:36,807
You look good with short hairor long hair.
539
00:19:36,991 --> 00:19:37,865
Wait a minute.
540
00:19:37,966 --> 00:19:39,293
Way to keep it tight, girl.
541
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:41,197
"Keep it tight, girl"?
How does he know it's tight?
542
00:19:41,298 --> 00:19:43,411
- What?
- Um, emotional security
543
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:45,625
is just as important
as physical security.
544
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,340
You are right. I am wrong.
545
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:51,339
I am wrong. I am wrong.
546
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,430
- I am always wrong.
- Mmm! Mmm, mmm!
547
00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:58,380
Music to
my ding dang dong ears.
548
00:19:58,483 --> 00:19:59,568
I am wrong.
549
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,798
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
550
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:07,398
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40045
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