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1
00:00:04,081 --> 00:00:05,434
Ok, I'm freaking out.
2
00:00:05,435 --> 00:00:07,287
We got one week to go,
and I'm freaking out.
3
00:00:07,288 --> 00:00:08,597
Hey, hey.
4
00:00:08,598 --> 00:00:11,581
Relax, curtis. Isn't this,
like, your third wedding?
5
00:00:11,582 --> 00:00:13,759
Yeah, but charlene said it's
definitely gonna be my last,
6
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,672
One way or the other.
7
00:00:16,646 --> 00:00:17,884
I gotta tip my hat to you, man.
8
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:18,923
Getting married again.
9
00:00:18,924 --> 00:00:20,835
I don't wanna say
marriage is like jail,
10
00:00:20,836 --> 00:00:22,313
But, you know,
you lose all your freedom,
11
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,018
Somebody's screaming
at you constantly,
12
00:00:24,019 --> 00:00:25,295
And at the end of the day,
13
00:00:25,296 --> 00:00:28,344
You realize, "I should have
just hooked up with a dude."
14
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,858
My best man, ladies and gentlemen.
15
00:00:31,859 --> 00:00:34,572
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
16
00:00:36,011 --> 00:00:37,652
Bye. Bye. Bye, sweetie.
17
00:00:37,653 --> 00:00:38,657
Hey, now, how we doing
18
00:00:38,658 --> 00:00:39,728
On the groomsman checklist?
19
00:00:39,729 --> 00:00:40,765
Are you kidding me?
20
00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:41,736
We are on it.
21
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:43,208
We got, uh, tuxes rented,
22
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,616
Boutonnières...
23
00:00:44,617 --> 00:00:45,987
Boutoned.
24
00:00:47,158 --> 00:00:49,232
Hey, guys. Look who's here.
25
00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:50,673
It's my sister rachel.
26
00:00:50,674 --> 00:00:52,110
Gary: Ohh!
27
00:00:52,111 --> 00:00:53,450
Wow, I figured, you know,
28
00:00:53,451 --> 00:00:55,221
'cause, the weatherman
said it was cloudy
29
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,229
With a chance of bitchy.
30
00:00:59,003 --> 00:01:01,913
Uh, since rachel is a
professional event planner,
31
00:01:01,914 --> 00:01:03,552
She has generously
offered to help me
32
00:01:03,553 --> 00:01:05,290
With charlene and curtis' wedding.
33
00:01:05,291 --> 00:01:07,533
Even though I didn't ask her.
34
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:08,870
Oh, stop thanking me.
35
00:01:08,871 --> 00:01:10,643
Knowing it's been done
right is thanks enough.
36
00:01:10,644 --> 00:01:12,449
Well, ok. Um.
37
00:01:12,450 --> 00:01:13,886
Curtis, the centerpieces
38
00:01:13,887 --> 00:01:14,923
Are ready to be picked up.
39
00:01:14,924 --> 00:01:15,926
They're kind of heavy, though.
40
00:01:15,927 --> 00:01:17,063
The flowers are in these things
41
00:01:17,064 --> 00:01:18,435
That look like giant bird baths.
42
00:01:18,436 --> 00:01:19,538
What--what are they?
43
00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:21,142
Giant bird baths.
44
00:01:21,979 --> 00:01:23,248
Ok. Come on, guys. Let's go.
45
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,487
Uh, can we use your van, gary?
46
00:01:24,488 --> 00:01:25,990
Of course you can. But, hey, look,
47
00:01:25,991 --> 00:01:27,562
I have an exhaust leak.
48
00:01:27,563 --> 00:01:30,436
I think the carbon monoxide
might kill the flowers.
49
00:01:30,437 --> 00:01:31,741
Flowers? What about us?
50
00:01:31,742 --> 00:01:33,713
Uh...Well, my window goes down.
51
00:01:33,714 --> 00:01:35,819
You know what? I'll wake
you up when we get there.
52
00:01:37,792 --> 00:01:39,796
So, rachel,
53
00:01:39,797 --> 00:01:42,838
I haven't seen you since
our little indiscretion
54
00:01:42,839 --> 00:01:44,474
At gary and allison's wedding.
55
00:01:44,475 --> 00:01:47,584
While you're in town, if you need
someone to show you the sights...
56
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:49,689
I grew up here.
57
00:01:50,526 --> 00:01:52,028
I mean the new sights,
58
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,602
Like the expanded 60 freeway.
59
00:01:55,539 --> 00:01:57,743
Which, quite frankly,
I'm ambivalent about.
60
00:01:57,744 --> 00:01:59,380
I think it's a bad idea.
61
00:01:59,381 --> 00:02:01,185
"ambivalent"
doesn't mean "against."
62
00:02:01,186 --> 00:02:03,925
It means "
torn between 2 opposites."
63
00:02:03,926 --> 00:02:05,461
Hmm.
64
00:02:05,462 --> 00:02:06,599
I see you're just as much
65
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,673
Of a controlling ball-buster
as you always were.
66
00:02:09,674 --> 00:02:11,109
[laughs]
67
00:02:11,110 --> 00:02:12,880
And you're still a big mess of dumb
68
00:02:12,881 --> 00:02:14,918
Stuffed into knock-off jeans.
69
00:02:16,557 --> 00:02:18,392
Kiss me. Try and stop me.
70
00:02:20,733 --> 00:02:29,939
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
71
00:02:29,943 --> 00:02:33,244
Allison, girl, we got a problem
with the seating chart.
72
00:02:33,245 --> 00:02:35,046
Ok, you put this guy at a table
73
00:02:35,047 --> 00:02:37,114
With 3 different women
he's slept with.
74
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,181
Oh.
75
00:02:38,182 --> 00:02:40,050
This chick while he was
married to this chick
76
00:02:40,051 --> 00:02:43,252
While he was paying tuition for
this slut's kid at uc-irvine.
77
00:02:43,253 --> 00:02:44,587
Ohh.
78
00:02:44,588 --> 00:02:47,823
Can we just move him to,
I don't know, table 7?
79
00:02:47,824 --> 00:02:50,892
Oh, well, you told me that curtis'
grandma weighs 300 pounds.
80
00:02:50,893 --> 00:02:52,427
She is table 7.
81
00:02:52,428 --> 00:02:54,228
Ohh! Ohh!
82
00:02:55,197 --> 00:02:56,763
Hey, allison, uh,
83
00:02:56,764 --> 00:02:59,099
Curtis is putting the
centerpieces out in the backyard.
84
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:00,366
Why is this table wrapped up?
85
00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:01,801
Oh, I'm shipping it to my parents
86
00:03:01,802 --> 00:03:03,703
For the new condo in palm springs.
87
00:03:03,704 --> 00:03:04,703
What? Yeah.
88
00:03:04,704 --> 00:03:06,472
The table I designed and paid for?
89
00:03:06,473 --> 00:03:08,240
The table we had all our
family meals around?
90
00:03:08,241 --> 00:03:09,508
I really loved this table.
91
00:03:09,509 --> 00:03:11,843
Yeah, they're doing, like,
a southwest theme.
92
00:03:11,844 --> 00:03:12,910
I think it's gonna look great.
93
00:03:12,911 --> 00:03:14,912
Allison, this is the last straw.
94
00:03:14,913 --> 00:03:17,514
You got every valuable thing
we owned in the divorce.
95
00:03:17,515 --> 00:03:19,249
What am I left with?
Crappy furniture?
96
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:20,550
What? Broken down appliances?
97
00:03:20,551 --> 00:03:22,818
Look, next time you want
to give something away,
98
00:03:22,819 --> 00:03:24,586
You gotta run it by me first.
That's it.
99
00:03:24,587 --> 00:03:26,888
Gary, we both signed off on
the terms of the divorce.
100
00:03:26,889 --> 00:03:28,523
If the table meant
that much to you,
101
00:03:28,524 --> 00:03:30,091
You should have fought for it then.
102
00:03:30,092 --> 00:03:31,258
Besides, you shouldn't have hired
103
00:03:31,259 --> 00:03:33,594
One of your surfing
buddies to represent you.
104
00:03:34,863 --> 00:03:36,029
I had to hire goose.
105
00:03:36,030 --> 00:03:37,364
The guy's like a brother to me.
106
00:03:37,365 --> 00:03:39,198
Not like a brother
you're related to.
107
00:03:39,199 --> 00:03:42,034
Just a brother that
gets you high a lot.
108
00:03:42,969 --> 00:03:44,136
Well, maybe you would
have done better
109
00:03:44,137 --> 00:03:46,037
With a lawyer who didn't say,
"not cool"
110
00:03:46,038 --> 00:03:47,973
When he meant to say, "I object."
111
00:03:47,974 --> 00:03:48,974
All right.
112
00:03:48,975 --> 00:03:50,508
You know what?
I stand by my lawyer,
113
00:03:50,509 --> 00:03:52,276
And I stand by his closing argument
114
00:03:52,277 --> 00:03:55,513
When he told the judge that
you're bogarting all my stuff.
115
00:04:00,917 --> 00:04:02,985
Dude, I'm sick of
your negative vibes.
116
00:04:02,986 --> 00:04:04,787
You're totally bumming me out.
117
00:04:06,623 --> 00:04:08,123
Hey, goose. What's, uh,
118
00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:10,557
What's going on? You got a big
legal case going on, or...
119
00:04:10,558 --> 00:04:13,460
Nah, surf report.
120
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,262
Malibu's blown out
and trestles is flat.
121
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,264
Look, can I, uh?
122
00:04:18,265 --> 00:04:19,465
Yeah. Ok.
123
00:04:19,466 --> 00:04:20,499
Listen, allison's trying
124
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,234
To give away a table
that I paid for.
125
00:04:22,235 --> 00:04:23,435
Don't I have any rights here?
126
00:04:23,436 --> 00:04:25,604
Doubtful.
127
00:04:25,605 --> 00:04:28,806
Her lawyer pretty much crushed it.
128
00:04:28,807 --> 00:04:30,674
But you know what we could do?
129
00:04:30,675 --> 00:04:33,577
We could file a motion claiming
the table was undervalued
130
00:04:33,578 --> 00:04:35,778
And the issue needs
to be re-examined.
131
00:04:36,913 --> 00:04:38,681
I'm gonna call the county clerk,
132
00:04:38,682 --> 00:04:40,616
Set up an appointment.
133
00:04:40,617 --> 00:04:42,084
Wow, look at you, goose.
134
00:04:42,085 --> 00:04:43,785
"undervalued"? "re-examined"?
135
00:04:43,786 --> 00:04:45,286
I'm impressed.
136
00:04:45,287 --> 00:04:50,991
Yes, case number 19372561.
137
00:04:50,992 --> 00:04:52,826
Brooks. Uh-huh.
138
00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:54,428
Right.
139
00:04:54,429 --> 00:04:55,762
Really?
140
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,663
Uh-huh.
141
00:04:57,664 --> 00:04:59,598
Right.
142
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,901
Really? Ok.
143
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:04,669
Mahalo.
144
00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:08,405
Uh, we're not gonna be able
to file that motion, bud.
145
00:05:09,207 --> 00:05:10,607
What? That's unbelievable.
146
00:05:10,608 --> 00:05:12,642
Great. So, allison just gets
to do whatever she wants?
147
00:05:12,643 --> 00:05:14,511
Not exactly.
148
00:05:14,512 --> 00:05:17,613
Hang on a sec. I might need
some medicine for this.
149
00:05:18,615 --> 00:05:21,317
[water burbling]
150
00:05:24,987 --> 00:05:26,320
[sniffing] ahem.
151
00:05:26,321 --> 00:05:29,289
See, there's an inbox at
the county clerk's office
152
00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:32,825
Where the lawyers drop off divorce
agreements to be processed.
153
00:05:32,826 --> 00:05:35,194
The clerks enter it
into what's called
154
00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:37,929
A "register of actions"
155
00:05:37,930 --> 00:05:39,330
And then, we pick it up.
156
00:05:39,331 --> 00:05:40,797
So? Well,
157
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:44,000
Let's say a lawyer was
running a little late
158
00:05:44,001 --> 00:05:47,269
For his "drum circle"
at venice beach
159
00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:50,538
And accidentally picked it
up before they entered it.
160
00:05:50,539 --> 00:05:51,638
Then?
161
00:05:51,639 --> 00:05:53,440
Long story short,
the table's still yours.
162
00:05:53,441 --> 00:05:54,608
Awesome.
163
00:05:54,609 --> 00:05:56,277
'cause you and allison
are still married.
164
00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,882
[grunts]
165
00:06:02,883 --> 00:06:04,450
[water burbles]
166
00:06:09,807 --> 00:06:11,807
Yecch.
167
00:06:12,942 --> 00:06:14,475
You and mitch are still at it?
168
00:06:14,976 --> 00:06:17,911
He's my crowning masterpiece.
169
00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:19,413
Mitchell.
170
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:24,950
Gary: Oh, my gosh.
171
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:27,652
You've turned my brother
into ryan seacrest.
172
00:06:29,788 --> 00:06:31,088
I know, right?
173
00:06:31,089 --> 00:06:35,191
I finally have a boyfriend who
everyone will think is gay.
174
00:06:35,192 --> 00:06:36,492
Bye, sweetie.
175
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:41,597
Hey, rachel.
176
00:06:41,598 --> 00:06:43,098
Hey, gary, you ready to
go pick up those rings?
177
00:06:43,099 --> 00:06:44,433
4 days to go.
178
00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:46,167
Hold on a second. You guys
are never gonna believe this.
179
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:49,003
My attorney totally screwed
up my divorce settlement.
180
00:06:49,004 --> 00:06:50,371
I'm still married to allison.
181
00:06:50,372 --> 00:06:51,972
What? Oh, my god.
182
00:06:51,973 --> 00:06:54,207
Yeah, now I gotta get
divorced all over again.
183
00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:56,510
That'll be fun.
184
00:06:56,511 --> 00:06:58,345
Well, hey, since you get a do-over,
185
00:06:58,346 --> 00:07:01,448
See if you can get your
deer antler coat rack back.
186
00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:04,484
Oh, my god.
187
00:07:04,485 --> 00:07:05,783
I know.
188
00:07:05,784 --> 00:07:08,318
That proud beast could hold,
like, 20 coats.
189
00:07:09,687 --> 00:07:13,222
No, I mean I get to get
divorced all over again.
190
00:07:13,223 --> 00:07:14,890
Except this time,
I can do it right.
191
00:07:14,891 --> 00:07:16,157
I can get my fair share.
192
00:07:16,158 --> 00:07:18,359
I can really stick it to allison.
With a real attorney,
193
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,860
One that doesn't walk into court
194
00:07:19,861 --> 00:07:22,295
With a cockatiel on his shoulder.
195
00:07:23,364 --> 00:07:25,564
When I'm done, allison
won't know what hit her.
196
00:07:25,565 --> 00:07:26,832
Yeah, if you wanna end up
197
00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:29,267
With even less than you have now.
198
00:07:29,268 --> 00:07:30,502
What do you mean?
199
00:07:30,503 --> 00:07:33,670
I mean no one's tougher
in a fight than allison.
200
00:07:33,671 --> 00:07:36,406
But if you butter her up,
201
00:07:36,407 --> 00:07:38,609
Become the man she
always wanted you to be,
202
00:07:38,610 --> 00:07:40,477
Instead, whoa,
203
00:07:40,478 --> 00:07:41,678
When it comes time to negotiate,
204
00:07:41,679 --> 00:07:44,147
She'll be feeling a
whole lot more generous.
205
00:07:44,148 --> 00:07:45,548
You really think this could work?
206
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:47,449
Yes, yes. And by the
time she figures out
207
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:48,584
You're still married,
208
00:07:48,585 --> 00:07:49,952
You'll already be on her good side.
209
00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:51,653
And you can have your pick
of all the stuff you lost.
210
00:07:51,654 --> 00:07:52,921
All right. But whatever happens,
211
00:07:52,922 --> 00:07:54,689
Do not tell charlene, all right?
212
00:07:54,690 --> 00:07:55,823
She is super religious,
213
00:07:55,824 --> 00:07:57,024
And she would not look kindly
214
00:07:57,025 --> 00:07:59,159
On my married best man
having a girlfriend.
215
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,827
Ok, I won't tell your fiancée
216
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:01,962
And I won't tell my wife.
217
00:08:01,963 --> 00:08:03,696
What am I supposed to
tell my girlfriend?
218
00:08:04,865 --> 00:08:06,999
Oh, I would not let sasha know, no.
219
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,500
I mean, it was a miracle
220
00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:11,736
You landed her in the first place.
221
00:08:11,737 --> 00:08:14,972
You're like the captain
sullenberger of booty.
222
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:21,212
Ok, what in god's name are those?
223
00:08:21,563 --> 00:08:23,196
Oh, uh, charlene requested
224
00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:26,867
2 giant, gold, interlocking
cs to hang above the altar
225
00:08:26,868 --> 00:08:28,803
To represent curtis and charlene's
226
00:08:28,804 --> 00:08:30,704
Everlasting intertwinement.
227
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:33,540
Absolutely not.
228
00:08:33,541 --> 00:08:34,741
Those are going nowhere.
229
00:08:34,742 --> 00:08:35,739
Well, you know what, rachel?
230
00:08:35,740 --> 00:08:36,739
Why don't you give it a rest.
231
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:38,707
Ok? Allison is really
busting her butt
232
00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:39,974
To make this a nice event,
233
00:08:39,975 --> 00:08:41,275
And all you do is ride her.
234
00:08:41,276 --> 00:08:42,376
Give her a break.
235
00:08:42,377 --> 00:08:43,911
Go--go in the house,
do something else.
236
00:08:43,912 --> 00:08:45,979
Call the dove guy. See if he's
got any doves strong enough
237
00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:48,115
They can drag a banner. Just go.
238
00:08:49,984 --> 00:08:51,484
Fine.
239
00:08:54,588 --> 00:08:55,954
Wow.
240
00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:57,455
What?
241
00:08:57,456 --> 00:08:59,124
I've been asking you for 20 years
242
00:08:59,125 --> 00:09:00,291
To take my side with her,
243
00:09:00,292 --> 00:09:01,426
And you just did it.
244
00:09:01,427 --> 00:09:02,994
Did I? Oh.
245
00:09:02,995 --> 00:09:04,562
Time to hang the lights.
246
00:09:06,131 --> 00:09:07,998
Ok, what are you up to?
247
00:09:07,999 --> 00:09:09,632
Gary, why are you
being so nice to me?
248
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:10,800
What? Am I?
249
00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:11,800
Yeah.
250
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,101
Just, uh,
251
00:09:13,102 --> 00:09:14,335
It's my best friend's
wedding, you know?
252
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:15,636
I just wanna make sure it
goes off without a hitch.
253
00:09:15,637 --> 00:09:16,637
That's all.
254
00:09:16,638 --> 00:09:17,939
Oh.
255
00:09:17,940 --> 00:09:19,273
And?
256
00:09:20,308 --> 00:09:22,242
All right. I'm gonna come clean.
257
00:09:22,243 --> 00:09:24,010
All this wedding
stuff the past week
258
00:09:24,011 --> 00:09:25,879
Has really got me
thinking that, uh,
259
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,981
I really could have been
a better husband to you.
260
00:09:31,351 --> 00:09:32,651
Am I being recorded?
261
00:09:34,186 --> 00:09:36,020
This some kind of
bachelor party gag,
262
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:37,187
And you need a cheap stripper?
263
00:09:37,188 --> 00:09:38,621
Right? Huh? No.
264
00:09:38,622 --> 00:09:42,424
No, I've just really been doing
a lot of thinking about us,
265
00:09:42,425 --> 00:09:45,493
And I could have done a
lot of things differently.
266
00:09:46,895 --> 00:09:50,030
I don't think you could
have said anything sweeter.
267
00:09:50,031 --> 00:09:53,066
We are actually looking for
a cheap stripper, but, um,
268
00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:55,001
You're such a sexy little tramp,
269
00:09:55,002 --> 00:09:56,269
The second you started shaking it,
270
00:09:56,270 --> 00:09:58,137
The guys would drop dead.
271
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:02,739
Oh, gary!
272
00:10:03,841 --> 00:10:06,308
I gotta tell you, mitch,
your plan is working perfectly.
273
00:10:06,309 --> 00:10:08,878
Ok? The nicer I am to allison,
she's like putty in my hands.
274
00:10:08,879 --> 00:10:10,413
I wouldn't be surprised
if I end up with stuff
275
00:10:10,414 --> 00:10:13,583
That she bought after the divorce.
276
00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:14,850
Just be careful
277
00:10:14,851 --> 00:10:16,385
That the guilt doesn't
start creeping in
278
00:10:16,386 --> 00:10:17,819
At the last minute,
'cause you're almost there.
279
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,587
What the hell are you doing?
280
00:10:19,588 --> 00:10:22,556
I'm pumicing my heels.
281
00:10:22,557 --> 00:10:24,825
I haven't heard from rachel
in 3 days, all right?
282
00:10:24,826 --> 00:10:26,026
I'm worried that I haven't
283
00:10:26,027 --> 00:10:27,360
Cleaned up my act enough for her.
284
00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:29,095
I told you not to get
involved with rachel.
285
00:10:29,096 --> 00:10:30,496
I've seen her do
this to guys before.
286
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,531
She fixes you up like
you're some kind of project,
287
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:34,767
And then, she gets bored when
there's nothing left for her to do.
288
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,101
Don't you say that!
289
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,503
She loves me.
290
00:10:39,504 --> 00:10:41,538
Mitch, you cleaned
up your act too fast.
291
00:10:41,539 --> 00:10:43,974
She's gone, mitchell.
292
00:10:43,975 --> 00:10:46,609
That can't be true!
293
00:10:46,610 --> 00:10:48,978
I waxed everything for that woman.
294
00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:52,983
I'm like a dolphin with eyebrows.
295
00:10:52,984 --> 00:10:55,749
[knocking]
296
00:10:59,352 --> 00:11:00,752
Hey, what are you doing here?
297
00:11:00,753 --> 00:11:04,557
Wow, thank you.
What a nice welcome.
298
00:11:04,558 --> 00:11:07,060
Um, I wanted your opinion
on dresses for the wedding.
299
00:11:07,061 --> 00:11:08,895
I've called you, like, 10 times.
300
00:11:08,896 --> 00:11:11,363
Oh, sorry. I've been
really busy with allison.
301
00:11:11,364 --> 00:11:12,932
Yeah, you've spent every
night this week with her.
302
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,433
You'd think you guys
were still married.
303
00:11:14,434 --> 00:11:16,568
Ha ha!
304
00:11:16,569 --> 00:11:17,702
Whoo!
305
00:11:17,703 --> 00:11:19,971
Ohh! Wow, you're funny.
306
00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:22,706
But, uh, hey, look, I'm here now.
307
00:11:22,707 --> 00:11:24,074
You have my undivided attention.
308
00:11:24,075 --> 00:11:25,976
Let's look at some dresses.
Come on. Ok.
309
00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,077
So, this first one, it might be
310
00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:28,544
A little cocktaily-
[cell phone rings]
311
00:11:28,545 --> 00:11:30,379
But I'm thinking-- hold on.
312
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:31,847
One second. This is allison.
313
00:11:31,848 --> 00:11:32,981
I gotta see what she wants.
314
00:11:32,982 --> 00:11:35,083
Of course. All right. Of course.
315
00:11:35,084 --> 00:11:36,651
Uh, allie?
316
00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:39,220
Uh, hold on a second, ok?
317
00:11:39,221 --> 00:11:40,755
Look, um, sasha,
318
00:11:40,756 --> 00:11:42,657
I know I've been spending a
lot of time with allison,
319
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,025
But it's only for a
couple of more days.
320
00:11:44,026 --> 00:11:46,060
And it's for a good reason,
I promise, ok?
321
00:11:46,061 --> 00:11:49,630
It's just, this is the first
wedding we're going to together,
322
00:11:49,631 --> 00:11:51,732
And it's kind of a big deal to me.
323
00:11:51,733 --> 00:11:54,301
And you're spending every
waking minute with your ex-wife.
324
00:11:54,302 --> 00:11:56,036
I know. But it's almost over.
325
00:11:56,037 --> 00:11:58,005
Just trust me, ok? Please?
326
00:11:58,006 --> 00:12:00,006
All right. Ok.
327
00:12:00,007 --> 00:12:01,842
Well, I'll see you at
the wedding tomorrow.
328
00:12:01,843 --> 00:12:04,510
And I'll let you know what
I'm planning on wearing,
329
00:12:04,511 --> 00:12:06,144
So I don't clash
with your cummerbund.
330
00:12:06,145 --> 00:12:08,012
Don't worry about it.
As long as it's in the green family
331
00:12:08,013 --> 00:12:10,144
And has lightning bolts,
we'll be good.
332
00:12:10,145 --> 00:12:11,511
All right.
333
00:12:13,412 --> 00:12:15,480
Hey, allison, what's up?
334
00:12:15,481 --> 00:12:17,581
Oh, my god. Are you serious?
335
00:12:17,582 --> 00:12:19,149
Ok. I'm on my way.
336
00:12:21,385 --> 00:12:22,985
Ok, hey, what's the situation?
337
00:12:22,986 --> 00:12:24,553
Ok, curtis is freaking out.
338
00:12:24,554 --> 00:12:26,755
He's in the living room
threatening to call charlene
339
00:12:26,756 --> 00:12:27,889
And tell her the wedding is off.
340
00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:29,624
Ok. Looks like we got ourselves
341
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:30,658
The same situation we had
342
00:12:30,659 --> 00:12:31,993
When tom almost ate his turtle.
343
00:12:31,994 --> 00:12:33,128
Ok.
344
00:12:33,129 --> 00:12:34,264
We'll handle it the same way.
345
00:12:34,265 --> 00:12:35,667
I'll go in first, nice and easy.
346
00:12:35,668 --> 00:12:36,868
If he makes a move for
the redial button,
347
00:12:36,869 --> 00:12:38,035
I'll take him down.
You get the phone.
348
00:12:38,036 --> 00:12:39,235
Got it.
349
00:12:40,303 --> 00:12:41,770
Ahem.
350
00:12:41,771 --> 00:12:42,938
Hey, buddy.
351
00:12:45,107 --> 00:12:46,274
Not another step, gary.
352
00:12:46,275 --> 00:12:47,441
Any closer, I'm gonna hit
this speed dial button
353
00:12:47,442 --> 00:12:49,309
And it's all over, you understand?
354
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,044
Curtis.
355
00:12:51,045 --> 00:12:52,279
Why don't you give me the phone
356
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,681
And then, we can talk.
357
00:12:54,682 --> 00:12:56,182
What do I get?
358
00:12:56,183 --> 00:12:57,516
I give you the phone, well,
I need something in return.
359
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:59,517
That's how we're gonna play it.
360
00:13:00,685 --> 00:13:03,953
What you get, curtis, is my word
361
00:13:03,954 --> 00:13:05,354
That after you give me the phone,
362
00:13:05,355 --> 00:13:06,789
And we talk a little bit,
363
00:13:06,790 --> 00:13:09,825
I might give you the phone back.
364
00:13:10,627 --> 00:13:12,427
Give me the phone, curtis.
365
00:13:12,428 --> 00:13:13,762
It's ok.
366
00:13:14,797 --> 00:13:16,030
Here you go.
367
00:13:16,031 --> 00:13:17,498
There you go. I'm sorry.
Come on down. Get him.
368
00:13:17,499 --> 00:13:20,567
Oh, gary! I'm tired, guys.
369
00:13:20,568 --> 00:13:21,868
I'm so tired!
370
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:22,869
Come on. It's ok.
371
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,237
It's ok. Oh, man.
372
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,039
Come on. My first
marriage was a failure.
373
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,373
My second marriage was a failure.
374
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:30,075
How do I think I'm gonna
make this one work?
375
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,043
Well, do you love her?
376
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:33,411
Yes, I do. Ok.
377
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:34,579
And not just because of that body,
378
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:35,914
And when she gets
everything in motion,
379
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:37,049
And this is going this way
380
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,784
And that's going that way.
381
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,418
Curtis, do you want to spend
382
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,220
The rest of your
life with charlene?
383
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,554
Yeah. Ok, then,
384
00:13:43,555 --> 00:13:45,022
You have to marry her,
385
00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:47,190
And you work through the rough
patches together, curtis.
386
00:13:47,191 --> 00:13:48,458
That's marriage.
387
00:13:48,459 --> 00:13:50,794
But what do you guys know?
You split up.
388
00:13:50,795 --> 00:13:52,562
Yeah, we did split up.
389
00:13:52,563 --> 00:13:53,696
You wanna know why?
390
00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:55,564
Because I got lazy, curtis.
391
00:13:55,565 --> 00:13:57,165
Yeah, you did. You got lazy.
392
00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:59,434
And I--
393
00:13:59,435 --> 00:14:01,169
I got a little bitchy.
394
00:14:01,170 --> 00:14:03,070
So bitchy.
395
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:06,107
Look, who knows if you and
charlene are gonna work out,
396
00:14:06,108 --> 00:14:07,274
But if you love each other,
397
00:14:07,275 --> 00:14:08,509
You gotta give it a shot.
398
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:10,044
That's what life's about, my man.
399
00:14:10,045 --> 00:14:11,245
All right, all right.
400
00:14:11,246 --> 00:14:12,480
Well, you know,
give me the phone back.
401
00:14:12,481 --> 00:14:13,714
What are you gonna use it for?
402
00:14:13,715 --> 00:14:15,849
I'm gonna call charlene
and tell her I love her.
403
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:17,017
All right, brother.
404
00:14:17,018 --> 00:14:18,185
Yeah. All right. And hopefully,
405
00:14:18,186 --> 00:14:19,486
She'll tell me to get
my skinny ass back home
406
00:14:19,487 --> 00:14:21,455
For some of that good stuff.
407
00:14:21,456 --> 00:14:23,689
Thanks, guys.
408
00:14:26,225 --> 00:14:28,125
You did great. Nice work, gar.
409
00:14:28,126 --> 00:14:30,361
Nice work yourself. Yeah.
410
00:14:30,362 --> 00:14:31,495
Ok, so.
411
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,363
Uh, the wedding is back on,
412
00:14:33,364 --> 00:14:35,632
And now, the only other
potential disaster
413
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,066
Is their first dance,
414
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:39,602
Which is to "my humps."
415
00:14:39,603 --> 00:14:41,470
Uh,
416
00:14:41,471 --> 00:14:43,938
And there's choreography.
417
00:14:43,939 --> 00:14:46,440
It's gonna make our first
dance look like "swan lake."
418
00:14:46,441 --> 00:14:47,875
What are you talking about?
419
00:14:47,876 --> 00:14:49,075
We nailed our first dance.
420
00:14:49,076 --> 00:14:52,177
No one has ever danced to
"true" by spandau ballet
421
00:14:52,178 --> 00:14:53,612
The way I did.
422
00:14:53,613 --> 00:14:55,983
Please. Gary, you spent
more time on my feet
423
00:14:55,984 --> 00:14:58,051
Than I did on my back that night.
424
00:14:58,052 --> 00:14:59,519
Let me tell you something.
425
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,420
It's time to put this
tall tale to bed.
426
00:15:01,421 --> 00:15:03,188
You've got a dance
floor in your backyard.
427
00:15:03,189 --> 00:15:04,356
Let's use it.
428
00:15:04,357 --> 00:15:05,657
Are you serving me?
429
00:15:05,658 --> 00:15:08,259
Consider yourself served.
430
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:15,065
Ha ha ha! Hmm.
431
00:15:15,066 --> 00:15:16,599
Not bad, gary.
432
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,100
Maybe I was the problem.
433
00:15:18,101 --> 00:15:20,602
Yeah. Well, you did have
4 sea breezes that night.
434
00:15:20,603 --> 00:15:21,770
Ha!
435
00:15:22,772 --> 00:15:26,140
I would have had 5,
but I was pregnant with tom.
436
00:15:30,211 --> 00:15:32,980
Gary, I appreciate you
helping me out this week.
437
00:15:34,082 --> 00:15:35,949
It's actually been kinda fun.
438
00:15:35,950 --> 00:15:37,117
Yeah.
439
00:15:42,456 --> 00:15:43,655
Hey, look, um,
440
00:15:43,656 --> 00:15:45,657
I've been thinking, gary,
441
00:15:45,658 --> 00:15:50,595
I--I hate that you think of me as
the person that took everything.
442
00:15:50,596 --> 00:15:52,130
You know? I mean,
when we got divorced,
443
00:15:52,131 --> 00:15:54,398
We were angry.
444
00:15:54,399 --> 00:15:56,667
But things have changed,
445
00:15:56,668 --> 00:15:57,701
And maybe we should talk
446
00:15:57,702 --> 00:15:59,403
About you getting some
of those things back.
447
00:15:59,404 --> 00:16:01,304
Starting with the table.
448
00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:04,409
Well, wow. Yeah.
449
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:06,011
You're--you're gonna
give me the table back?
450
00:16:06,012 --> 00:16:08,382
Yeah, yeah, if you still want it.
451
00:16:08,383 --> 00:16:12,323
Uh, no, I don't, actually.
452
00:16:12,324 --> 00:16:13,791
Oh.
453
00:16:13,792 --> 00:16:17,887
See, I mean, I--I did,
but just I, um,
454
00:16:17,888 --> 00:16:20,018
I don't know. I just think
differently about it now.
455
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,649
You know, allie, this is--
456
00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:29,551
This is the part of the song
where you and I always--
457
00:16:29,552 --> 00:16:30,986
Yeah, I know.
458
00:16:30,987 --> 00:16:32,720
[both laughing]
459
00:16:36,358 --> 00:16:38,494
We're still married.
460
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,099
What? What? What?
461
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,967
What do you mean? Like,
in your mind?
462
00:16:45,968 --> 00:16:47,368
No.
463
00:16:48,937 --> 00:16:51,639
My divorce attorney, goose,
he completely screwed up.
464
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:52,973
He never filed the proper paperwork
465
00:16:52,974 --> 00:16:54,274
In the county clerk's office.
466
00:16:54,275 --> 00:16:55,575
You and I are still married. What?
467
00:16:55,576 --> 00:16:57,544
What?
468
00:16:57,545 --> 00:16:59,580
Wh--wait. Wait. Wait.
469
00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:01,448
What--what is going on?
470
00:17:01,449 --> 00:17:03,283
I was just being nice to you
471
00:17:03,284 --> 00:17:04,618
So when we got divorced again,
472
00:17:04,619 --> 00:17:06,920
I could get more of
my stuff back, ok?
473
00:17:06,921 --> 00:17:10,957
Oh, my god. You've been scamming me.
I'm such an idiot.
474
00:17:10,958 --> 00:17:13,593
I wa--hey. I was scamming you. Was.
475
00:17:13,594 --> 00:17:16,458
But now, I-- I don't know.
I--I feel different.
476
00:17:16,459 --> 00:17:18,124
I feel a connection with you.
477
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:20,359
Something-- something's changed.
478
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,027
You know, the sad thing is
479
00:17:22,028 --> 00:17:25,063
Nothing has changed.
You're still an ass.
480
00:17:34,944 --> 00:17:36,777
All right. 3 minutes to go.
481
00:17:36,778 --> 00:17:39,312
Hey, man. Thanks-
thanks for last night.
482
00:17:39,313 --> 00:17:42,280
Yeah, no problem. I just feel
terrible about what I did to allison.
483
00:17:42,281 --> 00:17:43,648
My god, marriage is hell.
484
00:17:43,649 --> 00:17:45,049
Hey, dude.
485
00:17:45,050 --> 00:17:47,217
Oh, your marriage will be great.
486
00:17:47,218 --> 00:17:50,419
Let's get this party started!
487
00:17:50,420 --> 00:17:51,753
Hey, whoa, man. Hey.
488
00:17:51,754 --> 00:17:53,554
Whoo!
489
00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:56,389
Hey! I got nowhere to be
490
00:17:56,390 --> 00:17:59,558
And no one to answer to.
491
00:17:59,559 --> 00:18:03,197
No one at all. [sobs]
492
00:18:03,198 --> 00:18:05,369
Mitch! You are drunk!
493
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,006
Your face is drunk.
494
00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:08,512
All right. Easy, easy, easy.
495
00:18:08,513 --> 00:18:10,483
Easy, now. Come on, look.
496
00:18:10,484 --> 00:18:11,551
All right. We got
about a minute left.
497
00:18:11,552 --> 00:18:12,585
Has anyone seen sasha? No,
498
00:18:12,586 --> 00:18:14,120
But if charlene walks
down this aisle,
499
00:18:14,121 --> 00:18:15,355
And everybody isn't in their seats,
500
00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:16,889
I'm going to be
spending my honeymoon
501
00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:18,224
At a carnival exhibit
502
00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:19,792
As the amazing assless man.
503
00:18:19,793 --> 00:18:21,894
[grunts]
504
00:18:21,895 --> 00:18:23,228
Mitch?
505
00:18:23,229 --> 00:18:24,996
What is going on?
506
00:18:24,997 --> 00:18:27,865
You smell like the spit
bucket at a vineyard.
507
00:18:27,866 --> 00:18:29,901
You haven't showered.
You have crumbs on your shirt.
508
00:18:29,902 --> 00:18:32,236
It's like I'm dating nick nolte.
509
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,972
We're going to have to
have a long talk later.
510
00:18:34,973 --> 00:18:36,473
All right. Come on.
Let's get you cleaned up.
511
00:18:36,474 --> 00:18:38,474
I might have to start
over completely.
512
00:18:38,475 --> 00:18:41,343
Go. Oh. Yes!
513
00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:45,046
Ok. Uh, we're just about ready.
514
00:18:45,047 --> 00:18:48,381
Ok. And just so I know for later,
where's the bar?
515
00:18:48,382 --> 00:18:51,050
Oh, uh, there is no bar.
516
00:18:51,051 --> 00:18:52,450
What do you mean, there's no bar?
517
00:18:52,451 --> 00:18:55,486
Uh, well, the bride doesn't drink.
518
00:18:55,487 --> 00:18:57,855
Really? Look at the
bridesmaid dresses.
519
00:18:57,856 --> 00:18:59,089
You're trying to tell me
520
00:18:59,090 --> 00:19:01,124
She wasn't hammered
when she picked those?
521
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:02,959
Yeah. Yeah.
522
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,765
Allison, I'm sorry.
523
00:19:04,766 --> 00:19:06,301
You're sorry? Really? Sorry.
524
00:19:06,302 --> 00:19:08,136
What could you cash
that in for, gary?
525
00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:10,204
Maybe a pool table,
couple of chairs?
526
00:19:10,205 --> 00:19:12,440
Guys, the bride is coming.
Could we lock this down, please?
527
00:19:15,010 --> 00:19:18,177
Allison, look. I should not
have done what I did last night,
528
00:19:18,178 --> 00:19:20,512
And I'm really sorry,
but I really felt something
529
00:19:20,513 --> 00:19:22,647
Deep inside me, and I know
you felt something, too.
530
00:19:22,648 --> 00:19:24,782
Look, it doesn't matter.
It's not the point, gary.
531
00:19:24,783 --> 00:19:26,083
So you did feel something.
532
00:19:26,084 --> 00:19:27,584
I keep carrying on about
all the things that I lost.
533
00:19:27,585 --> 00:19:30,453
I'm not concentrating on what
I really lost. And I lost you.
534
00:19:30,454 --> 00:19:31,921
And I just-- I don't know.
535
00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:34,622
I think it's amazing that
you and I are still married.
536
00:19:34,623 --> 00:19:37,291
What? Hold on, curtis!
537
00:19:37,292 --> 00:19:38,425
You're almost there, baby.
538
00:19:38,426 --> 00:19:40,160
Keep going. Keep going. Come on.
539
00:19:40,161 --> 00:19:42,829
What the hell is going on here?
540
00:19:42,830 --> 00:19:44,530
Your best man is an adulterer?
541
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:45,865
No, no. He's not an adulterer.
542
00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:48,533
He's just a married
man with a girlfriend.
543
00:19:49,534 --> 00:19:52,836
This is my wedding day, curtis.
544
00:19:52,837 --> 00:19:57,006
And I will not have my future husband
have a cheater for a best man.
545
00:19:57,007 --> 00:20:00,342
If he is not gone in
3 seconds, I will be.
546
00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:02,377
Fine. You know what? I'll just go.
547
00:20:02,378 --> 00:20:03,679
Gary, don't move.
548
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,881
He--he's my best friend.
He's not leaving.
549
00:20:05,882 --> 00:20:07,849
Hmm!
550
00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:10,851
I'm so sorry I'm late.
Huge traffic jam.
551
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,620
Well, then, I'm leaving.
552
00:20:14,621 --> 00:20:16,456
Because I was late?
553
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:22,829
No, because curtis' "best
man" is an adulterer.
554
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:26,199
Gary? No. No, he's not.
We're not married.
555
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,566
Gary: Yeah. We're not married.
556
00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:29,268
Not to you, stupid!
557
00:20:30,203 --> 00:20:31,737
He's still married to allison!
558
00:20:31,738 --> 00:20:33,038
Ugh!
559
00:20:33,039 --> 00:20:36,541
Wait-- baby, come on!
560
00:20:36,542 --> 00:20:37,875
[indistinct]
561
00:20:41,446 --> 00:20:44,448
Sasha, look, I-- I'm really sorry.
562
00:20:44,449 --> 00:20:47,316
I just found out, like, a week ago.
It was a clerical error.
563
00:20:47,317 --> 00:20:49,652
Ok. So, what happens now?
564
00:20:49,653 --> 00:20:52,387
You're going to get
divorced again, right?
565
00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:55,590
Right?
566
00:20:55,591 --> 00:20:57,158
Uh...
567
00:20:57,159 --> 00:20:58,592
Gary.
568
00:20:59,994 --> 00:21:01,895
Gary.
569
00:21:01,896 --> 00:21:08,896
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
570
00:21:08,946 --> 00:21:13,496
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