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1
00:00:02,654 --> 00:00:04,526
Check me out, Clem.
I'm ready to go
2
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,832
to Walt and Rose's
on time. Happy?
3
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,095
I would be happier
4
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,835
if you weren't wearing
my favorite pants.
5
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,664
Oh, honey,
6
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,753
you can't pull these off.
7
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,756
Whoa, those are
some dope kicks.
8
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:18,931
When'd you get Yeezys?
9
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,498
Bigger question:
10
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:23,458
How does someone in their
late 40s know what Yeezys are?
11
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,982
I'm 30 and a
college professor.
12
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,984
My finger is
on the pulse.
13
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:31,205
He just learned about them
on 60 Minutes.
14
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:33,685
That is not true.
15
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,426
It was the Sunday
Style section
16
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,863
of The New York Times.
Thank you.
17
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,692
How'd you pay for
Yeezys, Shannon?
18
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:42,259
Aren't they
super expensive?
19
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:43,826
Won 'em off some dumb rich girl.
20
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,088
You know how when
someone gets arrested
21
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,307
they'll read
their Miranda rights?
22
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,699
Mm-hmm.I bet her
23
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:50,006
I can recite 'em by heart.
24
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,269
How do you know
the Miranda rights?
25
00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:55,142
Because our dad is a cop.Mm.
26
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:57,579
Yeah, that's... why I know them.
27
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,930
So, who is this girl?
28
00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:02,671
Some stuck-up idiot.
29
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:04,107
My new school's full of 'em.
30
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,630
Always doing their makeup
in the bathroom
31
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,676
when people
are just trying to vape.
32
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,853
Other people. Bad people.
33
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:13,377
It never changes.
34
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:15,771
When I was in high school,
the mean girls, they would...
35
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,164
talk about me behind my back
36
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,861
and start rumors
that I was a slut.
37
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:21,255
And also rumors
that weren'ttrue.
38
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,129
[knocking]Got it.
39
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:30,873
Freddy, my man!
40
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,793
Dad. Hi. You're here.
41
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,144
Yet we did not invite you.
42
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,451
I need a family picture
for that newsletter thing
43
00:01:43,494 --> 00:01:45,453
they put out
at the precinct.
44
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:47,890
It's... it's silly,
but in the next issue,
45
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:50,153
I'm Hero of the Month.NICK:
Nice, Freddy.
46
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,416
What'd you do, like,
solve some big murder case?
47
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,636
Well, I hate to brag,
but, uh...
48
00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:57,334
I'm sleeping with the woman
who puts out the newsletter.
49
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,424
Here.
50
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:02,165
Take a picture
51
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:04,515
of me and my girls.Sure thing.
You know,
52
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,127
I called you the other day about
lunch-- did you get my message?
53
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:10,260
Yep. Now, take the picture,
Annie Leibovitz.
54
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:14,656
So I guess that's a no
on Benihana.
55
00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:17,180
[shutter clicks]
56
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,530
Great. Now, Shannon,
here, you put this on.
57
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:20,749
What is this?
58
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,272
Dad, it's not my birthday.
59
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:25,623
Well, it's in case they
make me Hero again in July.
60
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,147
Ugh.
61
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,933
My birthday's in November.
62
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,196
Whatever. Just smile.
63
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,024
FREDDY:
Great.
64
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,504
Dad, what's really going on?
65
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:39,594
Why do you ruin every nice
moment that we have, Clem?
66
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:42,162
Come on, we'll
do graduation
67
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:45,165
and a couple of Christmas shots.
68
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,949
Come on, Dad, spill it.
69
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,995
All right. Fine.
70
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,475
Those bastards at the IRS
71
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,782
are sending an agent over
to audit me,
72
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,653
and I've been claiming you
as dependents.
73
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,220
So I need
74
00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:59,222
to scatter some photos
around my place
75
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:02,921
to make it look like
you're still living with me.
76
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,185
Also, I'm gonna need
a couple of bras
77
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,187
to hang in the bathroom.
78
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,799
[laughing]:
Come on, Freddy,
79
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,322
what's...
what's the real story?
80
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:16,587
Oh, my God,
that's the real story.
81
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,330
Dad, how are
you a cop
82
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:23,246
and yet basically
everything you do is illegal?
83
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,901
What am I gonna do,
arrest myself?
84
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,731
Quick Halloween one.
85
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:32,995
Boo!
86
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,911
♪
87
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,438
Hey!Ah...
88
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,223
here are
our favorite people.
89
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,485
Hey.
90
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:45,703
Ooh, thank you.
91
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,575
Now, see, this is
how you greet family.
92
00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,925
Oh, my God, Nick,
are you still butt-hurt
93
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,754
because my dad doesn't want
to be besties with you?
94
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,277
I'm just trying to
have a relationship
95
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:56,323
with a guy that's gonna
be my father-in-law.
96
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,977
And if that makes me butt-hurt,
then yes, my butt is hurt.
97
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,631
CLEM:
I don't know
98
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:03,155
why you think my dad's
ever gonna like you.
99
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,635
The man doesn't
like anybody.
100
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:07,377
I once saw him
flip off a baby.
101
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:10,728
Well, how could anyone
not like myson? Mwah!
102
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:13,122
Well, maybe it's because
Nick never asked Freddy
103
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,993
for his blessing to marry Clem.
104
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,473
Well, it never crossed my mind,
105
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,562
because I was under the
impression that Freddy was dead.
106
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:22,262
You know, because Clem
told me he was dead.
107
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,656
I only told you that
because I thought
108
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,398
that if you ever met him,
you would think less of me.
109
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,486
And then you met Shannon,
110
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,445
and I realized that...
111
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:34,099
you'd accept anything.
112
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,015
You know, Nick, honey,
it's never too late.
113
00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:38,539
There's still time
to ask Freddy.
114
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,410
Maybe I should.No. Please.
115
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,803
I don't care.
116
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,718
Yeah, but maybe your dad does.
117
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:46,982
You know, I remember asking
Rose's dad for his blessing.
118
00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:49,332
Made a special appointment
to talk to him.
119
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:53,205
And you were
sostressed out,
120
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,686
'cause you were late.
121
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:58,385
Well, I was starring in
a Broadway production of Hair
122
00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,996
at the time-- I got
mobbed at the stage door.
123
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,258
ROSE:
He got his fro
124
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,217
caught in a fan.
125
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,352
But he gave me his blessing
126
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,050
andhis watch-- it was his way
of welcoming me to the family.
127
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,878
Wait, wait. It's this
the watch that's engraved:
128
00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:16,011
"Show up on time,
you little bastard"?
129
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,665
That's the one.
130
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,275
I'll get it for us.
131
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,885
You know, I miss Grandpa.
132
00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,234
He was such a hard-ass.
133
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:24,106
Oh, he was.
134
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:27,631
That man fought his way
through the Korean War.
135
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:28,850
CLEM:
Really?
136
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,112
Where was he stationed?
137
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,157
At home with my mother.
138
00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:37,075
Uh, guys,
I can't find the watch.
139
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,468
It's gone.
140
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,730
Someone must have stolen it.
141
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,341
Are you sure, Walt?
142
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,081
It was in a locked drawer.
143
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,866
Who could've done it?
144
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:47,042
[gasps]
I know-- the handyman!
145
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:49,131
He was in our bedroom
146
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,133
with a wrench.
147
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:54,049
What is this, a game of Clue?
148
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,399
No way it was Arthur.
149
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:57,922
He's a nice, sweet old man.
150
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,097
If not him, who?
151
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,100
Yeah.
152
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:04,799
If not him, who?
153
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:06,366
Yeah.
154
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:09,673
If not him, who?
155
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,806
♪
156
00:06:13,242 --> 00:06:15,157
So, Shannon,
157
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,202
tell me again how
you got those shoes?
158
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,814
Told you.
Won them off that rich guy.
159
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,251
You said it was a girl.
160
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:26,211
Uh, yeah, that's
because it wasa girl.
161
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,606
But now it's a guy.
162
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,216
You see,
163
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,653
kids don't identify anymore.
164
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,176
Hes are shes.
Shes are hes.
165
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:36,091
You're a dinosaur.
Let's move on.
166
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:40,225
Shannon, did you steal
my dad's watch?
167
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,270
Me?
168
00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:42,489
Steal?
169
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,927
Never.
170
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,015
Oh, please.
171
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,409
You stole a taxi
when you were 13.
172
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,412
Really?Really.
173
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:56,372
They caught her driving
a family of five to JFK.
174
00:06:56,416 --> 00:07:00,202
Yeah, and the cheap bastards
didn't even tip me.
175
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:02,422
Shannon, tell
us the truth,
176
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:05,250
or we're gonna take your
phone away for a month.
177
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:08,906
Okay. Okay, okay, fine, fine.
I did it. I did it.
178
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:11,474
Yes! I knew she took it!
I told you she took it!
179
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,999
Why am I celebrating?
I am very angry!
180
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,305
I'm sorry!
181
00:07:16,348 --> 00:07:17,393
Sorry is not gonna cut it.
182
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:19,134
This is such a violation
of our trust.
183
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,483
How could you steal
from my parents?
184
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,137
Walt has, like,
a million watches, dude.
185
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,922
I took it two weeks ago,
and he just noticed it was gone.
186
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,229
Just because someone doesn't
notice something is gone
187
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,231
doesn't make it okay to steal.
188
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,276
Well, then technically,
I can't be blamed,
189
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,540
because I have never heard
that concept before.
190
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:34,845
Shannon.
191
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:35,977
They'll never find out.
192
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,022
I used gloves,
just like Dad taught us.
193
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:40,938
Can everyone
stop being so dramatic?
194
00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:42,331
I will get the watch back.
195
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:43,854
Really? How?
It's at a pawnshop.
196
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,334
How are you gonna
pay for that?
197
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:48,337
I'll steal a taxi.
Give me three days.
198
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,167
No! The stealing has to stop.
199
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:55,039
I can't believe that
you would do this, Shannon.
200
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,215
And for a stupid pair of shoes?
201
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,217
They're not just shoes, okay?
202
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,349
What does that mean?
203
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:03,308
I don't want to talk about it.
204
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,789
What is going
on, Shannon?
205
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,704
[sighs]:
It's just...
206
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,490
everybody at this dumb,
bougie school has these,
207
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,579
and... I'm already
the weird new kid--
208
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,929
I guess I just
wanted to fit in.
209
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,454
[sighs]:
I get it.
210
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,065
I remember wanting
to fit in, too.
211
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,154
That's how I ended up
in mall jail
212
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,765
for stealing
a belly button ring.
213
00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:29,073
There's a jail
in the mall?
214
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,771
It's awesome.Yes. It's fun, actually.
215
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:34,209
Look, this is no excuse.
216
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,819
I'm sorry that you
were feeling left out,
217
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,734
but we're going to Walt
and Rose's right now,
218
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,867
and you're gonna tell them
the truth. Right, Nick?
219
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,085
Uh-uh. No.
220
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,652
No, no.
221
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,219
No.
222
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:46,177
What?We have to.
223
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:48,571
My parents have a zero-tolerance
policy about stealing.
224
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,138
You know my cousin Eddie?
225
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:50,921
No.
226
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,488
Exactly.
227
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,403
He stole
from my parents
228
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:57,275
one time, and he was banished
from the family forever.
229
00:08:57,319 --> 00:09:00,235
Banished? Like one of those
old ladies on The View
230
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:02,542
when they talk
back to Whoopi?
231
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:05,588
Look, we can handle this without
my parents ever finding out.
232
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:08,373
Right. Blame it
on the handyman.
233
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:11,028
I like where your
head's at, kid.
234
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,682
No. We're gonna get the watch
from the pawnshop,
235
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:15,119
plant it in my parents' place
and claim we just found it.
236
00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:16,686
And you're gonna
pay us back the money.
237
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:20,647
Good idea. I just won't take
my next two months' allowance.
238
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,302
We don't give you
an allowance.
239
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:28,132
Well, maybe if you did,
240
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,613
we wouldn't be in
this predicament.
241
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:32,310
♪
242
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:42,146
Man, there's a lot
of tubas in here.
243
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:45,454
I still can't believe
you stole the watch
244
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,891
and sold it to a sketchy
place like this.
245
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,284
Sketchy?
246
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:51,721
Dude, Dad used to take us
here every Christmas Eve.
247
00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:53,810
Called it Santa's Workshop.
248
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:58,206
He made me get
my school supplies here.
249
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:01,296
I got a lunchbox
with a bullet hole.
250
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,821
Lost a lot of Skittles
that year.
251
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,867
Hey, guys.
How can I help you?
252
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,259
You want a tuba?
253
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:11,001
Buy one, get
the rest free.
254
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,613
Uh, we're actually looking
for a silver Rolex.
255
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,267
Oh, sick. There it is,
that one right there.
256
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:18,095
Oh, that's a
beautiful piece.
257
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:21,098
Sure is.
Here's your $400.
258
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,665
Uh, it's $1,500 now.
259
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,276
What? We can't afford that.
260
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,365
[tuba plays out of tune]
261
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,937
Sorry. I always wanted
to try a tuba.
262
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:36,679
So let me
get this straight.
263
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,247
You gave this poor,
264
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:42,424
innocent little girl
$400 for that watch
265
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:45,470
and now you're charging us
$1,500 to get it back?
266
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:47,124
This is a pawnshop, lady.
267
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,474
I sell the items
for more than I buy them.
268
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:51,259
It's a radical scheme
called profit.
269
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,260
NICK:
Ladies,
270
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,957
if I may.
271
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,829
Let's cut
to the chase. Okay.
272
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,787
Name your real price, my man.
273
00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,093
$1,500, my man.
274
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:00,268
[laughs]:
Oh.
275
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:03,184
You want to dance?
Let's dance.
276
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:05,534
We'll give you $500.
277
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:06,927
How 'bout $1,500?
278
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:09,538
Oh! Oh. See, now I see
what you're trying to do.
279
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,322
All right,
look, do-si-do.[chuckles]
280
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,455
$650 or we walk.
281
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:16,763
How 'bout you walk to
that ATM and get me $1,500?
282
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:20,767
This guy's a really good dancer.
283
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,466
No. No! No!
284
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,468
Get out!
285
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,080
Now how are we gonna
get the watch back?
286
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:31,778
Come on, Shannon.
287
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:34,824
We know how to get
the watch back.
288
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:40,047
Damn it.
289
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:44,921
I thought you were Uber Eats
bringing me my Big Mac.
290
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:46,444
Dad, I need your help.
291
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:49,404
And I need yours. That guy
you live with keeps texting me.
292
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,580
He wants to get together
and talk.
293
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:54,670
It's like I'm in an episode
of Sex and the City.
294
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,327
That guy is my fiancé.
295
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,807
And he's downstairs
with Shannon.
296
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,417
So I'm gonna get straight
to the point,
297
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,462
because the pawnshop closes
in an hour.
298
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,203
Pawnshop? What happened?
299
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,205
Shannon stole something
from Nick's parents
300
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,903
and then pawned it.
301
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,208
She did?
302
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,560
I feel like you want me
to have a problem with that.
303
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:18,563
I just need you
to fix it, okay?
304
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:21,871
The owner is being
a real scumbag, and...
305
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,960
How do I put this nicely?
306
00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:26,963
We need an even bigger scumbag.
307
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,574
Look, I'm flattered.
308
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:32,055
But shaking people down
for money is one thing.
309
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,579
Doing it for my daughter,
that just...
310
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,407
feels wrong.
311
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,366
Fine, Dad.
312
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:39,889
Have it your way.
313
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,804
Where did you get this picture
of us from the beach?
314
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,458
Oh, that was photoshopped
from one of the pictures
315
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,286
we took at your place.
316
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,375
One of the hookers
in lockup did it.
317
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,811
She's studying
318
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,248
design at the Art Institute.
319
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:54,208
A lot of 'em are.
It's weird.
320
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,818
Yeah, well,
321
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,473
it sure would be a shame
if the IRS found out
322
00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,648
that I haven't been living here
323
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:02,042
for the last ten years
like you claim.
324
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,914
Are you trying to blackmail me?
325
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,176
Please.
326
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,613
Blackmailing people
is awful.
327
00:13:08,657 --> 00:13:11,007
But doing it to my own dad?
328
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:14,010
That just feels right.
329
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:17,100
[engine revving]
330
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:19,276
Dad, would you slow down?
331
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,104
The faster I go,
the safer you are.
332
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,193
I slow down,
I get distracted.
333
00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,240
Like by that hot blur
over there.
334
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,458
Hey, darlin'![siren whoops]
335
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,114
So, Freddy,
I was thinking that, uh,
336
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:33,203
maybe later
we can get together and talk.
337
00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:35,249
We're together now. Talk.
338
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,120
Nick, just drop it.
339
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,818
Look, I just never got a chance
340
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,428
to talk to you
before I proposed to Clem.
341
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,386
Are you trying to ask me for
my daughter's hand in marriage?
342
00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,388
Yes. Yes. And I'd appreciate
your blessing.
343
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:45,607
It'd mean a lot to me...
344
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,827
[tires screech]
345
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,785
It's showtime.
346
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,137
Wow, Nick.
347
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,270
Swing and a miss.
348
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:58,489
Your dad is really hard
to connect with.
349
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,317
You want to
connect with him?
350
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:03,494
Get a job as a cocktail waitress
at a bowling alley.
351
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:06,367
Dude, why you got
to slam my mom?
352
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,372
Look, man, I know you're
just trying to make a buck here,
353
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:15,463
but I also know that everything
in this place is stolen.
354
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,595
Except for the tubas.
355
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,034
But I'm willing
to look the other way
356
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,123
if you help me out
on the watch.
357
00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,733
I don't know what's stolen
and what isn't.
358
00:14:24,776 --> 00:14:26,300
I'm just an honest businessman
359
00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:29,520
who exploits people when they're
at their most desperate.
360
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:32,306
So if you want this watch,
361
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,395
it'll cost you $1,500.
362
00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:37,833
So there's nothing I could say
that'll change your mind?
363
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,923
Only the words,
"Here's $1,500."
364
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,359
[laughs]
365
00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:43,752
[laughs]
366
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,581
Well, I gave it a shot, yeah?Right.
[chuckles]
367
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,236
Don't get me wrong. I know
your dad is far from perfect.
368
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:51,194
But he showed up
for you guys today.
369
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,718
Deep down, I think
he's a good guy.
370
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:55,938
[grunts, shouts]
371
00:14:57,766 --> 00:14:59,202
Give the watch to my daughter!
372
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,812
Now!
373
00:15:00,856 --> 00:15:02,640
Open the window, pumpkin.
374
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:03,641
[muttering]
375
00:15:03,685 --> 00:15:05,295
Oh, oh, oh!
376
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,431
Thank you.
377
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,433
Now say you're sorry.
378
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:15,044
I'm sorry.
379
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:19,309
So, who's buying me a Big Mac?
380
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,318
Okay, so you guys are
good with the plan?
381
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,451
It's not a plan.
We're just gonna
382
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,933
hide the watch in the couch and
then pretend that we found it.
383
00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:37,501
Okay, yes, it's not Ocean's
Eleven,but it is a plan.
384
00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:38,938
Well, you better
not blow this,
385
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,244
because I don't want to be
banished like Cousin Eddie.
386
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:42,898
I think I got this.
Watch this.
387
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:43,899
"Hey.
388
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,380
Wait, is that the... No!"
389
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,904
"Hey, Dad, is this your...
390
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,124
No!"
391
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,473
Pretty good, huh?
392
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:54,040
No!
393
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:58,914
So, we're having cameras
installed tomorrow.
394
00:15:58,958 --> 00:15:59,959
Ever since the robbery,
395
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:01,743
your mother is shook.ROSE: Mm.
396
00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:04,746
That's the way you use
that word, right, Shannon?
397
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:08,097
That is correct, sir.
398
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,013
Well, I'm sorry.
I just won't be comfortable
399
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,450
until I know
this place is secure.
400
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:14,451
Well, I'm not gonna
be comfortable
401
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,279
walking around naked anymore.
402
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:19,239
Well, that may be for
the best, sweetheart,
403
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,849
because we have windows.
404
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:23,460
And every time we go across
the street to that Starbucks,
405
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:25,288
we get looks.
406
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,597
Oh, God, we do.
407
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:33,209
I'm gonna get
dinner ready.
408
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,126
Uh, hey, Dad,
aren't you gonna go help Mom?
409
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,345
Wasn't planning on it.
410
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,217
Walt,
411
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:43,393
are these chips
organic?
412
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,568
I don't know.
413
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,135
Would you mind checking?
Because...
414
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,310
I read recently that,
415
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,051
if you're gonna eat junk food,
416
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,748
it really should be organic.
417
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,012
Because of, you know...
418
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,231
global warming.
419
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,147
I never heard that.
Have you guys?
420
00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,322
Oh, huge. Huge!SHANNON:
Oh, it's a big thing.
421
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:01,498
Yeah.
422
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,239
Would you go make sure?
423
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,937
You know, for... the planet.
424
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,468
[quietly]:
Okay, he's gone. Do it now.
425
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,296
I can't.
Why not?
426
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:17,601
I don't think
I can pull this off.
427
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,342
I just realized
I've never lied to my parents.
428
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,953
What? You've never lied
to your parents before?
429
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,955
Clem, who are you marrying?
430
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,349
Fine, throw it to me.
I'll do it.
431
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:29,091
They're organic![yelps]
432
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:32,921
I love this dip.
433
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,488
And I love the fact
434
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:35,750
that we're doing our part
435
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:38,013
to save the environment.
436
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,536
Dad! Don't
eat that.
437
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,755
Wh-Why not?
438
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:44,106
Uh, because...
439
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,934
you're fat.
440
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:51,374
There, I said it. I said it.
441
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,333
Fat? What do you mean,
fat? I'm not fat.
442
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,465
Clem, do I look fat to you?
443
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,773
I just think he wants you
to look your best
444
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,079
for the wedding photos.
445
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:03,865
Yeah. I totally agree,
because you... [chuckles]
446
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:06,911
...are a whale.
447
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:09,479
Dinner's ready, everyone.
448
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:11,786
Rose, am I not
in great shape?
449
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:12,917
Doesn't matter, Walt.
450
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,658
You shouldn't be
walking around naked.
451
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,444
Well, I think I look good.
452
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:18,836
No!
No!
453
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,018
No!
454
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,326
Is that the...
455
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,067
No!
456
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:41,337
I know, I know. You guys
have been so cool to me,
457
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,296
and the last thing I ever wanted
to do was hurt you.
458
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:44,471
But you did, Shannon.
459
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,299
And I think what
hurts the most
460
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:49,998
is we welcomed you into
our home and trusted you.
461
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:54,220
I think what hurts the most
is the gratuitous body shaming.
462
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,832
And the trust thing.
463
00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:00,313
Look, I know
this is no excuse,
464
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,837
but before my dad
potty-trained us,
465
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,273
he taught us
how to steal.
466
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:07,146
He called it
"doing number three."
467
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,324
So, you're not gonna banish me?
468
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,803
Banish you?
469
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:14,588
Yeah. I was worried
this whole thing
470
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,677
was gonna turn into
a Cousin Eddie situation.
471
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,461
A what?
472
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,378
Eddie. The cousin that was
banished from this family
473
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,163
because he stole a hundred
bucks from you guys.
474
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,253
[laughing]
475
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,517
You still believe that, Nick?
476
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,258
[laughing]
477
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,695
There is no Cousin Eddie.
478
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,785
We just made him up to keep you
from doing something stupid.
479
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,354
You made him up?
480
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,182
Yes. Whatever we
didn't want you to do,
481
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,748
we just said
Cousin Eddie did it
482
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:48,056
and suffered horribly
so you wouldn't do it!
483
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,232
Wait, so Cousin Eddie
never jaywalked
484
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,407
and got hit by a truck?
485
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:55,019
Cousin Eddie never jaywalked,
486
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:56,238
because he never crossed
the street,
487
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:58,197
because he never existed.
488
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,201
[laughs]:
Damn!
489
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,420
Your parents did you dirty,
Nicholas.
490
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,248
[whoops]
491
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:09,077
Excuse me. We're not finished
with you,Ms. Shannon.
492
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,080
Now, I know your father wasn't
exactly the best role model.
493
00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:14,865
But stealing
from your family?
494
00:20:14,909 --> 00:20:16,040
No, that's the thing.
495
00:20:16,084 --> 00:20:18,173
Family doesn't mean anything
to him.
496
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,654
And it didn't mean
anything to me either.
497
00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:22,569
Until now.
498
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,397
And that's because of you guys.
499
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,444
All of you guys.
500
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,099
Which is why I'm-I'm really,
really sorry.
501
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,320
Aw, Shannon.
502
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:37,453
Aw, you guys.
503
00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:40,630
I don't want the people
in Starbucks to see me cry.
504
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:45,113
Honey, they've
seen it all.
505
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,816
Captioning sponsored by
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506
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,862
Captioned by
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507
00:20:54,912 --> 00:20:59,462
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