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1
00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:06,658
Peralta, looks like
an old friend of yours
2
00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,289
- is back in town.
- Who?
3
00:00:08,325 --> 00:00:10,536
That guy Neil that you bunked
with at sleepaway camp?
4
00:00:10,572 --> 00:00:12,214
Oh, Neil from camp was the best.
5
00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:14,338
He could pick up a milk carton
with his butt cheeks.
6
00:00:14,374 --> 00:00:15,406
He was so funny.
7
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:17,321
You know who else was funny? Bill Cosby.
8
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:19,572
Charles, will you relax?
You're gonna love Neil.
9
00:00:19,608 --> 00:00:21,132
It's not Neil. Why would it be Neil?
10
00:00:21,168 --> 00:00:23,284
- It's Doug Judy.
- Oh, right.
11
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,325
Someone we all know
in a police capacity.
12
00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:26,417
That makes more sense.
13
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,767
Someone's using his
signature move to steal cars,
14
00:00:28,803 --> 00:00:30,303
plugging in to the OBD port
15
00:00:30,339 --> 00:00:32,075
and reprogramming
the immobilizer module.
16
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,765
That's Doug Judy's MO, but it's not him.
17
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,352
- He told me he went legit.
- That's what he told you
18
00:00:35,388 --> 00:00:37,257
last time too, before
he screwed you over.
19
00:00:37,293 --> 00:00:39,129
Yeah, but he returned
the diamonds to me eventually,
20
00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,378
and it turned out that was the only way
21
00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:41,918
to get Giggle Pig off the streets.
22
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,174
Wait, I may be confusing our adventures.
What year was the cruise?
23
00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:46,110
Dude's a criminal. People don't change.
24
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:47,885
Ever heard of Bruce Banner,
the Incredible Hulk?
25
00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:49,251
You might want to talk
to his shirts and pants
26
00:00:49,287 --> 00:00:50,495
about people not changing.
27
00:00:51,657 --> 00:00:54,123
Well, I want to ask Doug Judy
some questions.
28
00:00:54,159 --> 00:00:56,404
- You have his number?
- I always make contact through his mom.
29
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,058
I'll put you in touch with her,
but remember,
30
00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,526
she thinks I'm his assistant Mangy Carl,
31
00:01:00,562 --> 00:01:02,278
and he's a famous architect
who's designing
32
00:01:02,314 --> 00:01:04,446
LeBron James' new school
for black astronauts.
33
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,534
Hello, Mrs. Judy?
34
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,331
I'm looking for your son, the architect.
35
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,811
Yes, I'm from... black NASA.
36
00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:13,812
[whispering] Is that a thing?
37
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,206
Oh, my. I didn't know.
38
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,121
I understand. Good-bye.
39
00:01:19,629 --> 00:01:22,458
So Doug Judy will not be coming in.
40
00:01:22,494 --> 00:01:23,452
What? Why not?
41
00:01:23,512 --> 00:01:25,128
Oh, I see.
42
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:26,608
He is dead.
43
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:29,611
[upbeat music]
44
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:36,705
♪
45
00:01:41,014 --> 00:01:45,014
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
46
00:01:46,923 --> 00:01:49,847
Wow, I don't know how to deal
with all these emotions, Terry.
47
00:01:49,883 --> 00:01:51,612
No one I've been close with
has ever died before.
48
00:01:51,648 --> 00:01:54,635
No tragic accidents to friends.
All my grandparents are alive.
49
00:01:54,671 --> 00:01:55,966
How did you deal when Hodor died?
50
00:01:56,002 --> 00:01:58,422
Not well, Terry.
Why would you bring that up?
51
00:01:58,687 --> 00:02:00,642
Carl? Mangy Carl?
52
00:02:00,905 --> 00:02:02,951
Yes. That is me.
53
00:02:02,987 --> 00:02:04,992
I'm Trudy Judy, Doug's sister.
54
00:02:05,028 --> 00:02:06,343
This is our aunt Patrice.
55
00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:07,923
I'm so glad you could make it.
56
00:02:07,959 --> 00:02:09,510
Doug really loved you.
57
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,480
- Oh, he talked about me?
- Oh, all the time.
58
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:15,439
He was so afraid he'd fall
back into your old life.
59
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:18,573
Doug made Mangy Carl an assistant
at the architecture firm.
60
00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,743
He rescued him
from a life on the streets.
61
00:02:20,784 --> 00:02:23,722
Yeah, I was down on my luck,
not a penny to my name.
62
00:02:23,758 --> 00:02:25,894
- You were selling your body for money.
- Did Doug tell you that?
63
00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:27,277
He said all your teeth fell out,
64
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:28,800
and your mouth was just a rotten hole.
65
00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:30,628
100% accurate.
66
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,948
Plus you were sick from
those back-alley butt implants.
67
00:02:32,984 --> 00:02:35,043
- Had to have 'em.
- Carl thought a plumper rump
68
00:02:35,079 --> 00:02:37,192
would help him get his [bleep]
every night.
69
00:02:37,228 --> 00:02:38,883
Yeah, I remember having that thought.
70
00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:41,208
But the doctor just put
a bunch of mulch up there,
71
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,165
- and it got all infected.
- Dark days.
72
00:02:43,201 --> 00:02:46,296
[sobs] I'm sorry. It's just so sweet.
73
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,951
- The mulch thing?
- No, how Doug saved him.
74
00:02:49,177 --> 00:02:51,954
Doug was always taking people
under his wing.
75
00:02:52,198 --> 00:02:54,304
Doug said you have a beautiful voice.
76
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,697
Oh, he did? Well, I...
77
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,747
♪ Suppose that's true ♪
78
00:02:57,783 --> 00:02:59,529
Would you want to sing a song for us?
79
00:02:59,565 --> 00:03:00,633
What a nice thought,
80
00:03:00,669 --> 00:03:02,667
but you know what, I don't
have anything prepared.
81
00:03:02,703 --> 00:03:04,225
Okay, well, if you don't want to sing,
82
00:03:04,261 --> 00:03:05,993
you could just tell us
the inspiring story
83
00:03:06,029 --> 00:03:08,666
of how Doug saved you
from being a mulch-butt ho.
84
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:11,792
I would like to sing a song
in honor of my dear friend
85
00:03:11,828 --> 00:03:12,931
Doug Judy.
86
00:03:13,382 --> 00:03:15,363
Oh, nothing better after a long shift
87
00:03:15,399 --> 00:03:16,587
than coming to Shaw's.
88
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,919
It's like Cheers, where
everybody knows your name.
89
00:03:18,955 --> 00:03:20,441
A place where everybody
knows your name is hell.
90
00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:22,680
- You're describing hell.
- Guys, guys, guys.
91
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:23,986
Are those...
92
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,422
ALL: Firefighters.
93
00:03:25,612 --> 00:03:26,874
Hey, what's going on?
94
00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,734
Why is the FDNY in our cop bar?
95
00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:31,780
We needed a new place,
since our bar, O'Brien's, burned down.
96
00:03:31,816 --> 00:03:33,514
- You couldn't put that out?
- They probably started it.
97
00:03:33,550 --> 00:03:35,258
Most arsonists turn out
to be firefighters.
98
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,260
That's not true,
though it is very common,
99
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,696
and definitely what happened
in this case.
100
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,002
I'm surprised you guys
even want to come here
101
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:41,482
since you have to take the stairs.
102
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,353
I know how much you like
sliding on poles.
103
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:44,789
We don't like sliding on poles.
104
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,835
We do it to save lives. It's dangerous.
105
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,358
You can ask my best friend Steve.
106
00:03:48,587 --> 00:03:50,502
Oh, no, wait, you can't, actually,
107
00:03:50,538 --> 00:03:51,796
because he's dead.
108
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,710
Tripped through a pole hole,
broke his neck.
109
00:03:53,746 --> 00:03:54,941
- That's horrible.
- [chuckles]
110
00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:56,714
Sorry, but this is
a firefighter bar now.
111
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:59,128
Although we might want to make
some changes to the decor.
112
00:03:59,164 --> 00:04:01,037
I'm thinking some old-timey
pressure gauges,
113
00:04:01,073 --> 00:04:02,423
maybe an autographed photo
114
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:03,939
of Denis Leary from "Rescue Me."
115
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:05,942
- You wouldn't.
- Wouldn't I?
116
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,508
Check it out.
117
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,292
You son of a bitch.
118
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,642
♪ Doug Judy ♪
119
00:04:11,895 --> 00:04:16,009
♪ I wish you were alive, Doug Judy ♪
120
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:19,868
♪ God will give you a high five ♪
121
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,391
[high-pitched] ♪ Doug Judy ♪
122
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,654
Oh, no, he gave himself a key change.
123
00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:27,385
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, Doug Judy ♪
124
00:04:27,421 --> 00:04:30,133
♪ You're a friend, friend, friend ♪
125
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:32,402
♪ Doug Judy! ♪
126
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:37,668
[screeching] ♪ This song is at its end ♪
127
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,279
Thank you so much.
You've been a great audience.
128
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,431
I mean, it's a funeral.
That's psychotic.
129
00:04:41,467 --> 00:04:42,513
I'm so sorry.
130
00:04:43,255 --> 00:04:44,735
Why are there firefighters here?
131
00:04:44,771 --> 00:04:46,270
Did one of them turn out
to be an arsonist
132
00:04:46,306 --> 00:04:47,935
- and burn down their own bar?
- Actually, yes.
133
00:04:47,971 --> 00:04:49,377
So predictable. But why did you call me?
134
00:04:49,413 --> 00:04:50,507
There's nothing I can do about this.
135
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:52,422
You have gravitas.
Everyone listens to you.
136
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:55,292
Look, even if I could save Shaw's,
I'm not sure I'd want to.
137
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:56,948
This place is a hovel.
138
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:59,473
The only wine they serve
is from the Delaware Water Gap.
139
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,205
It's called "Charbonnay."
140
00:05:01,241 --> 00:05:03,317
But this is our bar,
and it has been forever.
141
00:05:03,353 --> 00:05:04,485
Change is a good thing.
142
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,696
Just yesterday, you were ranting
143
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,611
about the Philharmonic
adding a second piccolo.
144
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:09,200
It's too many. It'll muddle the sound.
145
00:05:09,236 --> 00:05:10,281
I'm sorry I brought it up.
146
00:05:10,317 --> 00:05:11,963
Look, we can find a new bar
147
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,587
that's not beneath us.
148
00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:14,836
What about Bel Vino?
149
00:05:14,879 --> 00:05:16,801
They've got a great
selection of Italian reds,
150
00:05:16,837 --> 00:05:18,310
and your feet don't stick to the floor
151
00:05:18,346 --> 00:05:19,623
if you stand in one place too long.
152
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,799
Fine. If you're not gonna
do anything, then I will.
153
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,829
Hank, you got to get rid
of these hose humpers.
154
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,130
- It's them or us.
- Look, guys, I don't want to take sides.
155
00:05:26,166 --> 00:05:27,327
I just want to make money.
156
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,486
Then keep it a cop bar.
We drink like crazy.
157
00:05:29,522 --> 00:05:31,461
Yeah, 'cause of all
the tragedy we experience
158
00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,376
on a daily basis, son.
159
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:36,510
Oh, yeah? We experience
plenty of tragedy too.
160
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,232
We lose a man a year to the pole hole.
161
00:05:38,268 --> 00:05:39,687
- [chuckles]
- How about this?
162
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,646
If it's about money,
let's just have a drink-off.
163
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:44,909
Whoever racks up
the biggest tab by closing time
164
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,389
gets to keep Shaw's.
165
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,650
Okay, defectives.
166
00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,350
[exhales]
167
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,917
- My guys can handle that.
- Oh, can they?
168
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,355
'Cause the Nine-Nine's
about to bring the real heat.
169
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:59,096
Get ready for the back draft, bitch.
170
00:05:59,555 --> 00:06:01,336
Jake, are you upset?
Where are you going?
171
00:06:01,372 --> 00:06:02,843
Are you embarrassed about your singing?
172
00:06:02,879 --> 00:06:04,359
- Doug Judy.
- What?
173
00:06:04,395 --> 00:06:07,802
Hey, Jake. Man, that song was moving AF.
174
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,543
We got to lay that down.
175
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:12,154
♪ Doug Judy, he's
smushing on the beach ♪
176
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,066
Don't try and duet with me, you bastard.
177
00:06:14,102 --> 00:06:15,699
You tricked me. Now give me a hug.
178
00:06:15,735 --> 00:06:17,223
I'm so happy you're alive.
I'll never forgive you.
179
00:06:17,259 --> 00:06:18,465
You're my best friend.
180
00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:19,770
Whoo, I just went through
a lot of emotions real fast,
181
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,511
but I think I'm back to normal now.
182
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,383
- Should we get lunch?
- I would love a cheesesteak.
183
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,949
I was thinking the exact same
thing, probably 'cause...
184
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:26,734
BOTH: The coffin looks
like a hoagie roll.
185
00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,518
Judy, what the hell is going on?
186
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,375
Uh, who are you, and where is Rosa?
187
00:06:30,411 --> 00:06:32,151
I'm his boss, and I want answers.
188
00:06:32,187 --> 00:06:33,918
All right. You know
who Stefano Lucas is?
189
00:06:33,954 --> 00:06:35,046
The arms dealer?
190
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,236
I got word he put a hit out
on me, so I had to disappear.
191
00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,111
Why does Stefano Lucas want you dead?
192
00:06:39,147 --> 00:06:40,487
His favorite Ferrari got stolen,
193
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,053
and for some reason he thinks I did it.
194
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,533
Probably because
someone's been jacking cars
195
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:44,969
all over Brooklyn using your MO.
196
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,449
Oh, my God. Jake, are you saying
197
00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,029
- what I think you're saying?
- Yes.
198
00:06:48,065 --> 00:06:49,931
- You have a copycat.
- [laughs]
199
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,978
I didn't think I'd accomplished
enough in my career for this.
200
00:06:52,014 --> 00:06:53,064
I know, it's big.
201
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,023
It just feels so good
to be seen, you know?
202
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:57,025
Wait. The only way to catch a copycat
203
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,358
is to team up with
the original criminal.
204
00:06:59,394 --> 00:07:01,273
I'm back on the force! Give me a gun.
205
00:07:01,309 --> 00:07:03,553
No! There is no copycat. You did it.
206
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,468
Not me. I'm living that straight life.
207
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,688
Terry refuses to believe it.
He thinks people can't change.
208
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,399
Tell that to Bruce Banner's
pants and shirt.
209
00:07:09,435 --> 00:07:10,517
That's what I said.
210
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,779
Doug Judy, you're under arrest.
211
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,555
What? Sarge?
212
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:17,562
You are really bringing down
the vibe at this funeral.
213
00:07:19,592 --> 00:07:20,827
What the hell is that?
214
00:07:20,863 --> 00:07:22,268
Jake got me this disguise
215
00:07:22,304 --> 00:07:24,747
so some criminal doesn't see me
in here and tell Stefano.
216
00:07:24,783 --> 00:07:26,685
Okay, but why is Jake also wearing them?
217
00:07:26,721 --> 00:07:29,144
Uh, because it looks super cool, Sarge.
218
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,189
We look like the hot twins
from "The Matrix."
219
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,756
[both exclaiming]
220
00:07:33,414 --> 00:07:34,752
We are getting aggravated.
221
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,499
- You look like Milli Vanilli.
- Ooh! I call Vanilli.
222
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,327
Ah, I want to be Nilli, but you got it.
223
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,879
- He's the best one.
- You know it's true.
224
00:07:39,934 --> 00:07:41,630
So did you check out Judy's alibi?
225
00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:44,072
Yes, and surprisingly, it checks out.
226
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,401
Last Saturday night, Doug was deejaying
227
00:07:46,437 --> 00:07:47,988
Joshy Greenbaum's bar mitzvah.
228
00:07:48,024 --> 00:07:49,453
That was a wild party.
229
00:07:49,489 --> 00:07:51,234
Auntie Karen is a freak.
230
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:52,691
Judy, you deejay bar mitzvahs?
231
00:07:52,727 --> 00:07:54,343
Best gig I ever had.
No one likes hip-hop more
232
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,813
than a 13-year-old Jewish boy.
233
00:07:55,849 --> 00:07:58,173
- Mm. So true.
- I'm not buying it.
234
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,058
Probably stealing cash
off the gift table.
235
00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:01,978
Sarge, come on. He has an alibi.
236
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,469
Let's just team up and
try and catch the copycat.
237
00:08:04,505 --> 00:08:05,758
A thousand push-ups.
238
00:08:05,794 --> 00:08:07,136
It's something Rosa and I used to say.
239
00:08:07,172 --> 00:08:08,856
It just means trust me.
If Judy's a criminal,
240
00:08:08,892 --> 00:08:11,015
I'll do a thousand push-ups,
and since you're so confident,
241
00:08:11,051 --> 00:08:12,404
if you're wrong, you can do 'em.
242
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:14,189
And a thousand push-ups?
That's a lot to you?
243
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:15,760
You go to hell, Terry.
244
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,427
Make it 100,000 push-ups, and I'm in.
245
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,063
Obviously I can't do that much exercise,
246
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,152
but it doesn't matter, because
Doug Judy is telling the truth,
247
00:08:21,196 --> 00:08:22,327
- right, Judy?
- I got you, baby.
248
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,112
So fine. 100,000 push-ups.
249
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,342
You happy, Sarge?
250
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:28,112
- Great. Now, Doug...
- You never call me Doug.
251
00:08:28,148 --> 00:08:29,236
Yeah, well, you called me Jake earlier.
252
00:08:29,272 --> 00:08:30,476
I thought we were switching
to first names.
253
00:08:30,512 --> 00:08:31,789
I was thinking the same exact thing!
254
00:08:31,825 --> 00:08:33,164
I was like, "Why not call him Jake?"
255
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,383
- We're bonding, man.
- 'Cause he's so official.
256
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:36,385
[both laughing]
257
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:38,343
But it's chill now.
258
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,476
- So, Doug...
- Yes, Jake?
259
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,783
Now that we know the copycat
is using your playbook,
260
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:45,133
if you were still in the game...
which you're not,
261
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,570
we all agree...
what would your next move be?
262
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,485
It's fight night at Barclays.
263
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,400
No sport attracts more
ultra-wealthy people
264
00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,097
with super-nice cars than boxing.
265
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,977
Really? What about the sport
of hunting man?
266
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,406
- You got me.
- That's not a thing.
267
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:58,907
Right. So should we just
start at Barclays then?
268
00:08:58,943 --> 00:09:01,758
Great. But first, we got to make
a quick little pit stop on the way.
269
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,064
What? Where?
270
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:06,067
["Hava Nagila" playing]
271
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:10,201
♪
272
00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:12,416
Okay, here are the rules to the contest.
273
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:13,596
If you order a drink,
274
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,830
it must be fully consumed
before you order another.
275
00:09:15,866 --> 00:09:18,253
Each team's tab will be
tracked on that board.
276
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:20,472
We don't want anyone
getting alcohol poisoning,
277
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,434
so if you throw up, you're disqualified.
278
00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:24,651
I never throw up. I just tell
my stomach to deal with it.
279
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,348
My body is terrified of me.
280
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,697
Guys, there's no way we can win.
281
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:29,569
There's nine of them and six of us.
282
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,614
Five of you. I'm going home.
283
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,485
Although perhaps I'll stop
at Bel Vino on the way,
284
00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:34,966
have a glass of Sancerre.
285
00:09:35,002 --> 00:09:36,358
Might even try the quince paste
286
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:39,254
if I'm feeling... naughty.
287
00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:40,623
You're really gonna let
these firefighters
288
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,277
take Shaw's from us?
289
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,453
Think of all the celebrations
we've had here,
290
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,831
all the times Terry has yelled
"Nine-Nine!"
291
00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:47,868
I hate it when he says that.
292
00:09:47,904 --> 00:09:49,501
He should say, "Cheers
293
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:50,677
to the Ninety-Ninth Precinct!"
294
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,678
[sighs]
295
00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:53,462
We shouldn't be here.
296
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:54,898
If you're worried that
someone will recognize me
297
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,794
and find out I'm still alive,
they won't.
298
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,293
There's not too many hardened criminals
299
00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:00,295
at Justin Friedman's bar mitzvah.
300
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:03,679
Although there is a
murderer on the loose,
301
00:10:03,715 --> 00:10:05,839
'cause Kevin Goldman is
killing those dance moves!
302
00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:07,006
Get it, Kevin!
303
00:10:07,042 --> 00:10:08,871
That's the floss. He's flossing.
304
00:10:08,907 --> 00:10:10,783
It's just that we should
be at Barclays already.
305
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:11,995
The fights are starting soon.
306
00:10:12,031 --> 00:10:13,700
Rich guys never show up on time.
307
00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:15,876
Besides, I promised Justin I'd be here.
308
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,225
What up, J-Smooth!
309
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,530
[phone buzzes]
310
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:22,766
Gone straight, my ass.
I got you, Doug Judy.
311
00:10:22,802 --> 00:10:23,848
- Huh?
- What are you talking about?
312
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,861
Something felt wrong,
stopping for this bar mitzvah,
313
00:10:25,897 --> 00:10:27,566
so I sent some plainclothes officers
314
00:10:27,602 --> 00:10:29,194
to watch the lots at Barclays.
315
00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:31,042
- They just caught the copycat.
- I don't understand.
316
00:10:31,078 --> 00:10:32,632
If anything,
that proves Judy's innocent.
317
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,078
He's been standing here with us
the whole time.
318
00:10:34,114 --> 00:10:36,636
Which was his plan! Establish an alibi,
319
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,492
so his partner can go off stealing cars.
320
00:10:38,528 --> 00:10:39,660
I don't have a partner.
321
00:10:39,696 --> 00:10:41,858
Whoever this is, I promise you,
I do not know him.
322
00:10:42,135 --> 00:10:44,295
Actually, Doug, I think you do.
323
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,688
Oh, my God.
324
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,211
ALL: Trudy Judy!
325
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,128
You still want to pretend you
had nothing to do with this?
326
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,087
I didn't, and she didn't either.
327
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:54,272
Trudy Judy's not a car thief.
328
00:10:54,308 --> 00:10:55,657
Trudy Judy's an angel.
329
00:10:55,693 --> 00:10:57,208
She's putting herself
through nursing school.
330
00:10:57,244 --> 00:10:58,903
And nurses are the best of our society.
331
00:10:58,939 --> 00:11:00,050
Name one bad nurse.
332
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:02,308
Nurse Ratched. Kathy Bates in "Misery."
333
00:11:02,344 --> 00:11:03,718
Nurse Jackie had a pill problem.
334
00:11:03,754 --> 00:11:05,403
Okay, damn, you got a lot
of real good examples
335
00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,231
off the top of your head.
You believe me, right, Jake?
336
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,885
I mean, the fact pattern's not great,
337
00:11:08,929 --> 00:11:10,639
but Trudy did seem very nice
when I met her.
338
00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:12,104
You trying to get your
freak on with my sister?
339
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:12,976
What? No.
340
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,412
I see you looking at Trudy Judy's booty.
341
00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,892
I am not looking at Trudy Judy's booty.
342
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,067
Oh, you don't think she's a cutie?
343
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,624
- Don't be snooty.
- She's a beauty,
344
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,114
- but I'm on duty.
- And you're married.
345
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,376
Well, yeah, but that doesn't rhyme.
346
00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:22,766
Sorry, I just get so overprotective.
347
00:11:22,802 --> 00:11:24,037
She's such a good kid.
348
00:11:24,073 --> 00:11:25,772
I guarantee you,
she didn't steal those cars.
349
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,948
We caught her sitting in a
Bentley with a power amplifier
350
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:30,254
and a homemade override
plugged into the CAN bus.
351
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,471
Yeah, she guilty.
352
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:34,440
I can't believe you made
us think you were dead.
353
00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:35,827
I can't believe you're
out here stealing cars.
354
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,261
- That's for lowlifes.
- You steal cars.
355
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:39,350
And I'm a lowlife. A gorgeous, charming,
356
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:40,934
super smart lowlife beloved by all.
357
00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:42,102
I'm sorry, Dougie.
358
00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:43,369
I was falling behind
on my student loans.
359
00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:44,659
I had to do something.
360
00:11:44,695 --> 00:11:46,296
Guys, if you weren't working together,
361
00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:47,725
how did she know
all your signature moves?
362
00:11:47,761 --> 00:11:49,356
I found some of Doug's old notebooks.
363
00:11:49,392 --> 00:11:50,541
Those are notes for my memoir.
364
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,009
Memoir? Do you have title ideas yet?
365
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,803
I was just gonna call it
"The Pontiac Bandit..."
366
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,100
- Oh, is that it?
- Yeah.
367
00:11:58,136 --> 00:11:59,672
- Okay.
- I hated stealing cars.
368
00:11:59,708 --> 00:12:02,217
I was gonna stop as soon as nursing
school was paid off, I swear.
369
00:12:02,253 --> 00:12:03,486
It was a mistake.
370
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,112
That's good enough for me.
Come on, Trudy, let's go home.
371
00:12:05,148 --> 00:12:07,264
That's not really how arresting works.
372
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,027
- She's going to jail.
- Wait, wait, wait.
373
00:12:09,063 --> 00:12:10,168
What if we get you a bigger fish?
374
00:12:10,204 --> 00:12:11,754
- What if we can get you Stefano?
- Who?
375
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:15,125
That cherry red 1961 Ferrari
250GT California you took
376
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,040
belongs to a guy named Stefano Lucas.
377
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:18,955
He thinks I did it, and
now he wants to kill me.
378
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:20,348
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
379
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:21,915
It's all good. You have the car,
380
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,133
so I call him, tell him I'm not dead,
381
00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:25,779
say I want to give him his car back,
382
00:12:25,815 --> 00:12:27,877
arrange a drop, and these guys
take him down or die trying.
383
00:12:28,136 --> 00:12:29,572
That is interesting.
384
00:12:29,608 --> 00:12:31,141
Stefano almost never
comes out in public.
385
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,056
It would be a huge collar
for the Nine-Nine.
386
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,402
What do you say, Sarge?
100,000 push-ups?
387
00:12:36,521 --> 00:12:39,019
Fine. If you deliver Stefano,
I'll talk to the DA
388
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,629
about a reduced sentence
for your sister.
389
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:43,327
Thank you so much.
There's just one problem.
390
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,854
I don't have the car.
391
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,374
I already handed it off to a fence.
392
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,855
Oh, Judy, Judy, you screwed me.
393
00:12:48,891 --> 00:12:49,827
_
394
00:12:49,862 --> 00:12:51,861
Four hours left. We're down $58.
395
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,768
- Amy, where you at?
- Four drinks.
396
00:12:53,854 --> 00:12:55,513
- What's four-drink Amy again?
- Why don't you come over here
397
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,907
- and find out?
- Right, Horny Amy.
398
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,836
It feels like you should retire
that one for the MeToo era.
399
00:12:59,872 --> 00:13:01,868
Why don't you come
over here and make me?
400
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:03,068
All right, there's only
one thing left to do.
401
00:13:03,104 --> 00:13:04,218
Drink faster.
402
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,306
Set a bunch of fires
throughout the city.
403
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,969
- Mine's better.
- No!
404
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,741
We can do this.
405
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:10,833
Things seem bleak now,
406
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,575
but the night is always darkest
before the dawn.
407
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:15,787
This is Shaw's.
408
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,048
We've had weddings here,
409
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:19,712
and funerals.
410
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,420
Shaw's is part of our family,
411
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,654
because that is what we are.
412
00:13:25,817 --> 00:13:26,931
A family.
413
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:29,634
And we're not just Amy and Rosa
414
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,201
and Hitchcock and...
415
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:34,291
[retching]
416
00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:38,600
[retching continues]
417
00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:41,864
So the fence, Dallas, he works in there.
418
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,257
I don't like him. My rule?
419
00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:45,095
Never trust anyone named after a city.
420
00:13:45,131 --> 00:13:47,217
- What about Orlando Bloom?
- I never thought about him being named
421
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,306
after the city before,
and his last name is Bloom?
422
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,352
Wait a minute. Did we just
realize something crazy?
423
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,655
No, everyone knows it's a crazy name.
424
00:13:53,691 --> 00:13:55,040
Now can we just focus on the meet-up?
425
00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:56,574
- Fine.
- All right, Dallas is creepy
426
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:59,142
and paranoid, and he really
freaked me out that last time.
427
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,014
- I don't want to go in alone.
- Don't worry, kid.
428
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,905
I'll be there right
next to you, as always.
429
00:14:02,941 --> 00:14:05,018
Aw. Sarge, why don't you
say stuff like that to me?
430
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:08,108
No, look, I do not trust the
Judys going anywhere alone.
431
00:14:08,356 --> 00:14:09,892
Doug, you stay with Jake.
I'll go in with Trudy.
432
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,241
I just need a cover story.
433
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,627
We could say that you're my boyfriend.
434
00:14:12,663 --> 00:14:13,896
No. No, no, no, I don't want
435
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,705
my little sister
fake-dating some pervert.
436
00:14:15,741 --> 00:14:17,202
What? Why am I a pervert?
437
00:14:17,238 --> 00:14:18,683
Uh, have you ever met a nice, normal guy
438
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,468
that wears suspenders every day?
439
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,946
What kind of person
has to tie their pants down
440
00:14:21,982 --> 00:14:23,253
to keep them from flying off?
441
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,011
That's not what suspenders are for, man.
442
00:14:25,047 --> 00:14:26,256
Guys, we don't have time
443
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,346
to figure out what suspenders
are for, all right?
444
00:14:28,382 --> 00:14:29,956
Now, Trudy, this is undercover work.
445
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:31,740
It can be very intense.
Are you sure you can handle it?
446
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:34,264
I mean, I'll do my best.
447
00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:36,642
- Who's this?
- This is Deion. He's my man.
448
00:14:36,678 --> 00:14:39,488
Ask me another question,
you simple little barn animal.
449
00:14:39,524 --> 00:14:41,177
Okay, so she can handle it.
450
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:42,272
Why is your boyfriend here?
451
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,690
Who said boyfriend? Deion and I freak,
452
00:14:44,726 --> 00:14:46,091
then he shuts his pretty little mouth
453
00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:47,495
and lets me handle my business.
454
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,146
I don't like the direction
this is going.
455
00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:50,454
Easy. She's just playing a part.
456
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:51,934
Pretty big age difference here.
457
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,631
- Where'd you guys meet?
- The club.
458
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,198
Deion was a bouncer,
459
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:58,071
and I told him I wanted
him to bounce on me.
460
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,420
- [clothes rustling]
- Oh, what is that?
461
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:00,725
Is she rubbing on his mic?
462
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,466
The mic that was taped to his chest?
463
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,946
You should feel these.
464
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,643
They're like two baseball bases.
465
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,167
Make 'em pop, daddy.
466
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,603
Daddy's not sure this is the time.
467
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:09,731
Do it, daddy!
468
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,072
Ooh, ow! Ooh, ow!
469
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,978
Get your hands off her, pervert!
470
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,650
Judy! Judy! I tried to stop him.
471
00:15:15,686 --> 00:15:17,046
That's my baby sister you're caressing.
472
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:19,797
What? How can I caress her with my pecs?
473
00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,265
Look at those things. They got thumbs.
474
00:15:21,301 --> 00:15:23,358
Guys, guys, stop! Where is Dallas?
475
00:15:23,394 --> 00:15:25,022
I think he got spooked and ran away.
476
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,316
Good job, Doug Judy.
477
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,492
You just cost your sister
a chance at a reduced sentence.
478
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,539
Oh, no! Why is my tone so playful?
479
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,323
Why is there a twinkle in my eye?
480
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:39,677
Because I just found our
1961 Ferrari 250GT California.
481
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,114
Oh, ho, ho!
482
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:43,203
Ladies and gents and pervert Terry,
483
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,813
we are in business.
484
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,163
Sorry, Sarge, I got caught up
in the moment there.
485
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,035
- _
- Guys, I threw up.
486
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,514
Oh, man, it's over.
487
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,168
- We need a miracle.
- I'm here.
488
00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,812
Captain Holt! How are you here?
489
00:15:53,848 --> 00:15:55,345
You called me.
You didn't stop calling me.
490
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,434
I didn't call you. Look.
491
00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:59,262
You left 17 voicemails.
492
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,524
Here's one.
493
00:16:00,568 --> 00:16:03,001
ROSA: Holt! You got to come save us.
494
00:16:03,037 --> 00:16:04,354
We need a lie to get you here.
495
00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:05,529
Charles, what should I say?
496
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,096
That I got shot in the face.
497
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,029
Ooh, and tell him to bring pizza.
498
00:16:09,065 --> 00:16:10,675
Whoo! Crampon Holt!
499
00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:11,886
We're losing.
500
00:16:11,922 --> 00:16:13,668
- Yeah!
- Why are you dancing?
501
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,496
Oh, I was up to nine-drink Amy,
502
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,324
who speaks French,
503
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,899
and then I hurl...
504
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,502
I hurl... hurled.
505
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,373
What she's trying to say
is that she vomited,
506
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,201
and now she's back down
to three-drink Amy,
507
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:26,333
or Amy Dance Pants.
508
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,443
You know it.
509
00:16:28,233 --> 00:16:29,466
My God.
510
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,468
Hitchcock, are you the only
person still making sense?
511
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:33,209
Yeah. It's bad.
512
00:16:33,447 --> 00:16:35,884
So are you gonna make us
give up, Clappin?
513
00:16:35,981 --> 00:16:37,387
Or are you here to tell us to stop?
514
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,041
No, I'm here to help you win.
515
00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:41,044
What is happening? Why is this?
516
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,523
It's something you said
on one of your voicemails,
517
00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,307
after you had sung
the entirety of a song
518
00:16:44,343 --> 00:16:46,250
called "Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya."
519
00:16:46,286 --> 00:16:47,939
You thought you had hung up,
but you hadn't.
520
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,532
Anyway, bye-bye.
What am I doing calling him?
521
00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:54,187
He doesn't care about us
or what we want.
522
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,058
When I heard that,
I was shaken to my core.
523
00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:57,969
I thought this bar was beneath me,
524
00:16:58,005 --> 00:17:00,410
but what was actually beneath
me was my own behavior.
525
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:02,412
- I had turned my back on...
- Holt!
526
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,110
We do not have time for this.
527
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,589
Just drinky, drinky!
528
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:10,072
Hank, bring me a Charbonnay.
529
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:13,154
All right, Stefano should
be here any minute.
530
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:14,642
I just want to thank you guys
so much for helping me.
531
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,165
I don't deserve your kindness.
532
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:17,601
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself.
533
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,473
We all make bad decisions
when we're younger.
534
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,475
- I was once in a flash mob.
- Ew.
535
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:22,936
Something's off about this.
536
00:17:22,972 --> 00:17:24,391
I don't like leaving Judy
out there alone.
537
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:25,921
Relax, we have a tracker on the car,
538
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,263
a tracker on Doug Judy,
539
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,396
and ESU has the entire area surrounded.
540
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,267
- It's gonna be fine.
- We got movement.
541
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,269
Okay, everyone, to your positions.
542
00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:34,531
On my signal.
543
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,958
Hold. Hold.
544
00:17:37,230 --> 00:17:38,883
Hold.
545
00:17:39,078 --> 00:17:40,732
Sorry, I started holding too soon.
546
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,626
Let's start over. Hold.
547
00:17:42,983 --> 00:17:44,324
Hold.
548
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,847
And...
549
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,457
[exclaims]
550
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:50,542
Everyone, stop holding! Go, go, go, go!
551
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,801
Where is he? Where is he?
552
00:17:53,950 --> 00:17:55,770
Got him. They got Stefano.
553
00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:57,902
No, not Stefano. The Pontiac Bandit.
554
00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,730
- Where is...
- Doug Judy here.
555
00:17:59,922 --> 00:18:01,228
Y'all see that car blow up?
556
00:18:01,264 --> 00:18:03,106
Yeah, we did. Why did you do that?
557
00:18:03,142 --> 00:18:04,340
You think I did that?
558
00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:05,736
Doug Judy does not work with fire.
559
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,390
Yeah, he's like the Hound
from "Game of Thrones."
560
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,752
I am like the Hound. And you're my Arya.
561
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:10,959
- Right?
- Guys!
562
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,440
If Doug Judy didn't blow up
the car, who did?
563
00:18:15,449 --> 00:18:17,313
ALL: Trudy Judy.
564
00:18:18,081 --> 00:18:19,081
_
565
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,277
Damn, sir, you took
that Charbonnay to the house.
566
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,105
- How you feeling?
- Let me take stock.
567
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,932
My equilibrium is askew,
568
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:30,109
my vision is partially impaired,
569
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,936
and I'm clearly slurring my words.
570
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,025
To put a fine point on it,
your boy is turnt.
571
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,449
Well, well, well,
there's only a minute left,
572
00:18:36,485 --> 00:18:38,117
and you are six bucks down.
573
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,379
I don't think you guys
are gonna make it.
574
00:18:39,587 --> 00:18:40,782
Hank, another Charb.
575
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,122
This one's hot.
It was sitting on the radiator.
576
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:46,125
[dramatic music]
577
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,257
♪
578
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,390
- He's never gonna make it.
- Yes, he will.
579
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,262
Just don't breathe.
Let the liquid into your lungs.
580
00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:55,221
♪
581
00:18:55,585 --> 00:18:59,442
Five, four, three, two...
582
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:00,965
Closing time! Cops win!
583
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:04,882
[cheering]
584
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:08,364
All right, fine, the bar is yours.
585
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:12,002
But we're keeping this!
586
00:19:12,038 --> 00:19:13,195
Come on.
587
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,241
Before we all go home and pass out,
588
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:18,200
I want to say how sorry I am
that I deserted you earlier.
589
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:21,247
I want you to know that I care
about you all so very much,
590
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:22,552
each and every one of you.
591
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,376
Boyle, Santiago, Diaz, Hitchcock, Scu...
592
00:19:25,412 --> 00:19:28,079
[retching]
593
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:30,125
All right, I have officers
looking for her.
594
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,909
She was on foot.
She couldn't have gone far.
595
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:34,042
- [phone buzzes]
- This is her.
596
00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:36,218
- Where are you, Trudy?
- In the wind, Dougie.
597
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,177
Okay, that's a cool thing to
say, but what are you doing?
598
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,395
They were gonna reduce your charges.
599
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,092
Reduced charges are still charges,
600
00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,485
and I can't go to prison.
601
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:45,532
There are no dudes there,
and I need to smush!
602
00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:47,186
- Trudy!
- Oh, grow up, Doug.
603
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,188
I'm an adult woman
who's horny all the time.
604
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,451
- What is going on?
- Oh, are you judging me, ho?
605
00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:53,017
Trudy, running from
the cops is a felony.
606
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,453
That means no more nursing school.
607
00:19:54,489 --> 00:19:55,664
Good. It sucked.
608
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:56,895
I only went to, like, one class.
609
00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:58,449
- What?
- It was boring as hell.
610
00:19:58,485 --> 00:20:00,468
So then I started
running Internet scams.
611
00:20:00,504 --> 00:20:01,722
Then there was identity theft.
612
00:20:01,758 --> 00:20:03,114
I was Queen Latifah for a bit.
613
00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:05,029
Then Lil' Kim. That was less believable.
614
00:20:05,073 --> 00:20:07,597
But then I found your old notebooks.
615
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:10,165
How come you never told me
how much fun car thieving is?
616
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,028
Because I didn't want you
to fall in love with it.
617
00:20:12,064 --> 00:20:13,348
Wait, I'm confused.
618
00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:14,909
When did you put the
bomb in the Ferrari?
619
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,432
I didn't do it. Dallas did.
620
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,898
And Dallas isn't some
criminal I'm afraid of.
621
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:20,849
He's my employee. Say what's up, Dallas.
622
00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:22,612
- Wassup?
- Named after a city.
623
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,223
The hard part was trying to figure out
624
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,917
how to tell him my plan,
so then I came up
625
00:20:25,953 --> 00:20:27,182
with that whole boyfriend thing,
626
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,923
because I needed a distraction.
627
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:30,664
I knew you'd rush in,
all weird and old-fashioned,
628
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:32,231
try to protect my honor.
629
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,407
How can I caress her with my pecs?
630
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:36,235
Look at those things. They got thumbs.
631
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:37,888
I don't need you to protect me, Doug.
632
00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,107
You're my baby sister.
633
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,369
I got to look out for you.
634
00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:42,676
That's so sweet, and also dumb.
635
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,741
I'll see you at Christmas, sucker!
636
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,288
I love you, big bro.
637
00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,407
Trudy!
638
00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:50,118
Man, I am gutted. This is awful.
639
00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:52,033
Is this how you feel
every time I trick you?
640
00:20:52,069 --> 00:20:53,752
Pretty much. Yeah, it always hurts.
641
00:20:53,788 --> 00:20:54,990
Wow, I'm sorry, man.
642
00:20:55,026 --> 00:20:56,427
It must be really hard
to hang out with me.
643
00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:58,431
Well, it's a tough relationship,
but it's exciting.
644
00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,283
Hey, Doug, I'm sorry
for not trusting you.
645
00:21:00,319 --> 00:21:01,866
Turns out you had
nothing to do with this.
646
00:21:01,902 --> 00:21:04,437
Oh, so you admit people can change.
647
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,178
Yes. Bruce Banner's pants
and shirt were correct.
648
00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:08,658
You know what this means, right?
649
00:21:08,993 --> 00:21:10,555
6,203.
650
00:21:10,591 --> 00:21:12,575
6,204.
651
00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,403
I am so glad I lost this bet.
652
00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:16,275
I never find time for things I enjoy.
653
00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:17,536
This is so unsatisfying.
654
00:21:17,572 --> 00:21:18,812
You're not even sweating.
655
00:21:18,848 --> 00:21:20,416
It's too easy. Get on my back, Jake.
656
00:21:20,452 --> 00:21:21,869
- No, I'm not...
- Get on my back, Jake!
657
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,428
Coming, strong man!
658
00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:28,587
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