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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:05,133 Boy, the way Glenn Miller played 2 00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:08,634 Songs that made the hit parade 3 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,734 Guys like us, we had it made 4 00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:14,734 Those were the days 5 00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:18,701 And you knew where you were then 6 00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:21,968 Girls were girls, and men were men 7 00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:26,934 Mister, we could use a man like Herbert Hoover again 8 00:00:26,934 --> 00:00:30,467 Didn't need no welfare state 9 00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:33,934 Everybody pulled his weight 10 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:38,534 Gee, our old LaSalle ran great 11 00:00:38,534 --> 00:00:44,501 Those were the days 12 00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:51,767 Oh! 13 00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:54,167 Edith... Please, will you-- 14 00:00:54,167 --> 00:00:55,634 What's the matter? 15 00:00:55,634 --> 00:00:58,334 Your two feet are like ice. 16 00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:00,267 Oh, I'm sorry. 17 00:01:00,267 --> 00:01:01,767 God! 18 00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:04,133 Remember the expression: 19 00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:07,200 "Cold feet, warm heart." 20 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,367 Maybe you oughta put your heart up against my feet. 21 00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:13,767 [GIGGLING] 22 00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,701 [GIGGLING CONTINUES] 23 00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:19,133 She laughs at that. 24 00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:26,434 Maybe before I come to bed I should put on my socks. 25 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,968 Maybe before you come to bed 26 00:01:28,968 --> 00:01:30,767 you oughta stick your feet in the oven. 27 00:01:37,734 --> 00:01:40,200 Geez, I'm going over big here tonight. 28 00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:44,167 Maybe I oughta be on Johnny Carson. 29 00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:47,300 Oh, yeah! [GIGGLES] 30 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,634 Stop that, stop that! 31 00:01:49,634 --> 00:01:53,868 Stop that dopey laughing in bed in the middle of the night. 32 00:01:53,868 --> 00:01:55,801 Why not? 33 00:01:55,801 --> 00:01:57,033 I don't know. 34 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,501 It's some kind of a sin, I think. 35 00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:04,000 It's freezing here. I gotta get another blanket. 36 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,033 Oh, Archie, you're so cute. 37 00:02:08,033 --> 00:02:10,534 Oh, Edith, you are a pip. 38 00:02:12,968 --> 00:02:15,434 [SIGHS] Oh, hey, hey. 39 00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,234 What's this we got here, huh? 40 00:02:17,234 --> 00:02:21,434 Hey, this looks like some kind of a present here, huh? 41 00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:24,367 Yeah, it's a surprise. 42 00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:32,701 Oh, Archie, that ain't for you. 43 00:02:32,701 --> 00:02:34,000 Why not? 44 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,567 It's for Stephie. 45 00:02:36,567 --> 00:02:39,367 Tomorrow is her 10th birthday. 46 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,734 Oh, yeah... 47 00:02:40,734 --> 00:02:43,033 It's so sad. 48 00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:45,934 What the hell's sad about ten? 49 00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:48,367 50 is sad. 50 00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:50,434 10 years old 51 00:02:50,434 --> 00:02:54,267 and nobody ever give her a birthday party. 52 00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:55,434 Oh, wow. 53 00:02:55,434 --> 00:02:57,834 [MEOW-LIKE SOUND] 54 00:02:57,834 --> 00:02:59,868 What did you pack in there, a cat? 55 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,200 No. It's a doll. 56 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,367 A beautiful doll. 57 00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,200 And she can do everything. 58 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,834 Her name is Wanda Wee Wee. 59 00:03:11,834 --> 00:03:14,467 Ah, geez! 60 00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:17,267 Why the hell did they have to make dolls 61 00:03:17,267 --> 00:03:20,734 do all the disgusting things that humans do? 62 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,100 [GRUNTS] 63 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:25,767 It ain't disgusting, it's natural. 64 00:03:25,767 --> 00:03:28,868 Ah... [BLOWS RASPBERRY] to natural. 65 00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:30,300 Let me tell you something, Edith. 66 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:34,300 It can't be natural and civilized, too. 67 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:39,100 You know what I'm gonna do tomorrow? 68 00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:40,467 Don't tell me. 69 00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:43,667 I'm gonna give Stephie a surprise party. 70 00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,767 Ah... she tells me anyway. 71 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:46,901 You're so cute. 72 00:03:46,901 --> 00:03:48,067 [MWAH] 73 00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:51,501 And you know what we're gonna have tomorrow? 74 00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:53,033 Say good night, Edith. 75 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,667 - Good night. - Good night. 76 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:58,367 We're gonna have chocolate cake with chocolate icing, 77 00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:01,167 'cause that's what little kids like, 78 00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:03,634 and two flavors of ice cream: 79 00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:05,701 peanut butter and jelly 80 00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:08,400 and jamoca almond fudge. 81 00:04:15,901 --> 00:04:17,634 Did you buy that already? 82 00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:20,200 Oh, yeah. It's in the freezer. 83 00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:26,067 Oh, no, you don't. 84 00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:28,467 I'm--I'm only tryin' to get to the can. 85 00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:30,400 Oh... no, you ain't. 86 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,734 - [GRUNTS] - [GIGGLES] 87 00:04:31,734 --> 00:04:34,000 No ice cream. 88 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,534 It'll keep you awake all night. 89 00:04:36,534 --> 00:04:40,601 All right, I'll have it on my Froot Loops in the morning. 90 00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:43,334 STEPHIE: Aunt Edith! 91 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:44,868 Oh, geez. 92 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,400 Aunt Edith! 93 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,033 We woke her up. 94 00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:52,300 Oh, it must be them frankfurters and Devil Dogs she ate. 95 00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,934 Why do you buy 'em for her? 96 00:04:54,934 --> 00:04:57,467 She won't kiss me if I don't. 97 00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:01,200 - Aunt Edith! - Yeah, I'm comin'. 98 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,601 I hope she didn't hear us talkin' about her party. 99 00:05:04,601 --> 00:05:07,934 Now, you stay there. No ice cream. 100 00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:09,467 Coming! 101 00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:12,067 What's the matter? 102 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,000 I don't feel good. 103 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,701 Oh, oh. 104 00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:18,801 What's wrong? 105 00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:20,868 I feel funny. 106 00:05:20,868 --> 00:05:23,334 Oh, where do you feel funny? 107 00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:26,434 My stomach. 108 00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:28,033 - Here? - No. 109 00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:29,033 - Here? - Ow! 110 00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:30,601 I'm sorry. 111 00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:32,501 What's the matter? 112 00:05:32,501 --> 00:05:34,400 She don't feel good. 113 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,567 Oh... hey, maybe we should all have a little ice cream. 114 00:05:42,067 --> 00:05:44,534 You got a little fever. 115 00:05:44,534 --> 00:05:47,567 Now, I'll be right back. 116 00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:49,801 Archie... 117 00:05:49,801 --> 00:05:55,434 Get a wash cloth and soak it in rubbing alcohol. 118 00:05:55,434 --> 00:05:58,934 And then put it on her head and on her stomach-- 119 00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:02,801 Wouldn't something a little cool inside the stomach be better? 120 00:06:02,801 --> 00:06:04,567 - No! - Okay. 121 00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:07,234 I'll call Dr. Shapiro. 122 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,968 Parkview 8... [REPEATS PHONE NUMBER] 123 00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:14,467 Oh, my gosh. 124 00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:16,834 P-A-8. 125 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,167 Oh, no! 126 00:06:18,167 --> 00:06:20,033 They use numbers now. 127 00:06:25,601 --> 00:06:27,968 7-2-8. 128 00:06:27,968 --> 00:06:31,567 7-2-8. 129 00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:33,567 Oh. 130 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:36,000 It's the same thing! 131 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,968 7-2-8. 132 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,501 EDITH: Archie! 133 00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:58,834 Oh, yeah, Edith. 134 00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:04,501 The doctor is still examinin' her. 135 00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:06,634 Oh, no, sit over here, Edith. 136 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,200 There's more room. 137 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:13,100 Edith, I wish that was Dr. Shapiro in there. 138 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,901 Well, that is Dr. Shapiro in there. 139 00:07:15,901 --> 00:07:18,334 No. 140 00:07:18,334 --> 00:07:19,467 It ain't Dr. Shapiro. 141 00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:21,901 That's Dr. Shapiro's son. 142 00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:24,267 But he's a doctor, too. 143 00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:26,968 All right, but I can't take that in. 144 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,067 Every time I look at him there, 145 00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:31,067 I remember when he was a kid, 146 00:07:31,067 --> 00:07:34,133 and I had to chase him over the roof of our garage. 147 00:07:35,968 --> 00:07:40,601 He was the smartest little kid in Gloria's class. 148 00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:44,501 Even in them days, he wanted to be a doctor. 149 00:07:44,501 --> 00:07:46,667 I know. That's what he was tryin' to be 150 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,868 up on the garage roof with Gloria. 151 00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:57,334 He was always interested in science. 152 00:07:57,334 --> 00:08:00,834 Science? 153 00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:03,567 Geez, is that what you call that? 154 00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:11,701 I remember he once told me that he wanted to make a bat. 155 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,567 What do you mean, a ball bat? 156 00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,434 No! A bat. 157 00:08:19,434 --> 00:08:20,534 You know. 158 00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:27,200 How in the hell was he gonna do that? 159 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:34,400 He said that he was gonna cross a mouse with a bird. 160 00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:45,801 And that's the genius you got workin' on our kid in there? 161 00:08:46,968 --> 00:08:48,367 - [KNOCKING] - [GASPS] 162 00:08:48,367 --> 00:08:49,901 Doctor, how is she? 163 00:08:49,901 --> 00:08:51,467 She's asleep, but it's her appendix. 164 00:08:51,467 --> 00:08:53,267 It's gonna have to come out. 165 00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,601 It's all right, Mrs. Bunker. 166 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,767 Now, an appendectomy in itself is not a serious operation. 167 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,634 Where is your telephone? 168 00:08:59,634 --> 00:09:01,300 - Oh, right here, Doctor. - Fine. 169 00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,133 Give him room. 170 00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:06,634 I'm sorry that the bed ain't made up. 171 00:09:06,634 --> 00:09:08,267 That's perfectly all right. 172 00:09:08,267 --> 00:09:12,000 It got all messy when all this started to happen 173 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,601 'cause we was in it. 174 00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:16,033 Shut up. 175 00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,100 We was talkin'. 176 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,234 Why do you have to even bring it up? 177 00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:23,901 Sidney, is this a local call? 178 00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:25,667 I'm calling an ambulance. 179 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:26,901 What, an ambulance? 180 00:09:26,901 --> 00:09:28,367 Oh, no. Hold it, hold it. 181 00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:29,534 Hold it. Now wait a minute. 182 00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:32,000 We don't need no ambulance there, Sid. 183 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,167 Dr. Shapiro. 184 00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:37,667 Oh, Dr. Shapiro, huh? 185 00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:40,767 Hey, he wasn't so high and mighty and hoity-toity 186 00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:44,133 when you was this high, and I caught you hanging a cat 187 00:09:44,133 --> 00:09:47,033 off old man Cassidy's "ellem" tree. 188 00:09:47,033 --> 00:09:48,934 I never did that. 189 00:09:48,934 --> 00:09:50,801 Who did do that? 190 00:09:50,801 --> 00:09:52,968 Mikey Cassidy did it. 191 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,200 What was you doing there? 192 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,734 I was trying to save its life. 193 00:09:57,734 --> 00:10:00,033 Ha ha ha, you hear that, Edith? 194 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:04,367 Every guy in a lynch mob always swears he's innocent. 195 00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:06,601 I was! 196 00:10:06,601 --> 00:10:09,033 But you wasn't innocent of hitting me 197 00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:11,834 on the base of my spine with a rock. 198 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:15,434 That's because you kicked me in the behind. 199 00:10:15,434 --> 00:10:18,567 That's 'cause you was up on the roof of our garage 200 00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:21,100 making nasties. 201 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,601 Oh, no, no, no, no. 202 00:10:23,601 --> 00:10:25,601 Oh, you was the doctor, Sidney. 203 00:10:25,601 --> 00:10:26,901 Oh, no, no. 204 00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:29,200 In those days, I was the patient. 205 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,367 Gloria was the doctor. 206 00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:37,634 Sidney, I'm gonna sock you right in the jaw! 207 00:10:37,634 --> 00:10:38,767 Oh, no, Archie! 208 00:10:38,767 --> 00:10:40,834 Did you hear what he said there? 209 00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:42,634 - Shhh. - My little girl. 210 00:10:42,634 --> 00:10:46,167 - Please, Doctor, call the ambulance. - No, no, no. 211 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,267 - Get out of the way. - Archie, what are you doing? 212 00:10:48,267 --> 00:10:49,601 - No ambu-- - Let him call. 213 00:10:49,601 --> 00:10:52,534 Edith, if anybody's gonna do an operation around here, 214 00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:54,133 it's gonna be his old man. 215 00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:55,868 My old man's on vacation. 216 00:10:55,868 --> 00:10:58,534 Okay, at least I want a second opinion. 217 00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:01,167 Mr. Bunker, that girl has acute appendicitis. 218 00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,033 Now, if you want a second opinion, 219 00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:05,200 take her to the hospital. Have it done there. 220 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,934 No. I want a second opinion 221 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,801 to find out if she's gotta go to the hospital. 222 00:11:09,801 --> 00:11:12,067 - Archie, she should go. - Take it easy. 223 00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:15,234 - We don't want something awful happenin' to her. - Edith, come on. 224 00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:17,601 Nothing awful's gonna happen to her. 225 00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:18,968 I'm gonna call Dr. Kurtsman 226 00:11:18,968 --> 00:11:20,834 from the other side of Norton Boulevard 227 00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:22,667 and get him to come over here. 228 00:11:22,667 --> 00:11:24,734 Now, come on, Sidney, get away from my phone 229 00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:26,334 and stay off of my roof. 230 00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:29,701 All right, all right, get your second opinion. 231 00:11:29,701 --> 00:11:32,567 - Archie! - Edith, listen to me. 232 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,567 You want the best for the child in there, don't you? 233 00:11:34,567 --> 00:11:35,767 Yeah. 234 00:11:35,767 --> 00:11:39,033 Well, look at Sidney. He's so young. 235 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:41,434 And on top of everything else, 236 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,234 what the hell kind of a doctor 237 00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:46,467 would come choking up in front of the house in a Plymouth? 238 00:11:50,801 --> 00:11:53,267 Let me call Dr. Kurtsman, 239 00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:56,367 who glides around in a Lincoln. 240 00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:13,300 She's asleep now and her fever is down. 241 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,567 Mrs. Bunker, I want you to keep her in bed 242 00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:17,901 - and take her temperature regularly. - Oh, I will. 243 00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:21,200 Now, if the fever goes up or the pain increases, don't waste any time. 244 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,734 - No, I won't. - Take her right to the hospital. 245 00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:24,300 - I will. - Here's the phone number there. 246 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,534 Oh, thank you, Sidney. 247 00:12:27,701 --> 00:12:29,634 I mean "Doctor." 248 00:12:29,634 --> 00:12:30,868 [SIGHS] 249 00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:32,868 Thank you. 250 00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:36,868 Would you like to have 251 00:12:36,868 --> 00:12:41,767 some ice cream and cookies before you leave, Sidney? 252 00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:43,968 No, thank you. 253 00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:45,801 It's not good for my teeth. 254 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,400 - I'll see myself out. - All right. 255 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,334 Oh, thank you, Sidney. 256 00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:55,601 Come on. Shh, shh. 257 00:12:55,601 --> 00:12:58,734 Hold it. Okay, beep beep, here it is: 258 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,667 Archie Bunker calling Dr. Kurtsman. 259 00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:02,901 Archie Bunker standing by for Dr. Kurtsman's call. 260 00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,434 Okay, waiting here. 261 00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:08,434 10-4, over and out, roger, and take it away, Geronimo. 262 00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:13,100 - Archie, I think we should trust, Sidney. - No, no, no. 263 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,400 - He's a very experienced doctor. - What--what-- 264 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,634 And he was nice enough to make a house call 265 00:13:18,634 --> 00:13:20,434 in the middle of the night. 266 00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:22,501 Ah, that's where I got ya. 267 00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:26,033 Nowadays, no doctor of experience 268 00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:28,067 would make a house call. 269 00:13:30,567 --> 00:13:33,000 - Archie, I got the number to call-- - No, Edith. 270 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,200 - I'm gonna get the ambulance. - Edith, no. Sit down, sit down. 271 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,701 Edith, we can't do that. 272 00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:39,467 We gotta wait for Dr. Kurtsman. 273 00:13:39,467 --> 00:13:41,033 Well, where is he? 274 00:13:41,033 --> 00:13:44,000 The man is--he's--he's out on the town somewheres. 275 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,701 They're beepin' him now. He'll get back to us. 276 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:48,934 Oh, Archie, I don't think she should wait. 277 00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:50,868 - I better call-- - Edith, no, Edith. 278 00:13:50,868 --> 00:13:52,200 Now sit down, sit down. 279 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,868 Come on, what's she doin' in there now? 280 00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,200 - She's sleepin'. - Yeah, see that? 281 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,801 She's gonna be all right. 282 00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:02,701 Edith, wait till I show you what I read in the papers today-- 283 00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:05,033 Edith, this is-- 284 00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:06,567 Wait, wait till I tell you 285 00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:09,133 what I read in the papers, Edith. 286 00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:12,067 Do you know that needless operations 287 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:17,400 "costses" the American people $40 billion a year? 288 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,367 30 billion for the doctors, 289 00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:22,434 and ten billion for the undertakers. 290 00:14:25,467 --> 00:14:31,367 Do you know that 75% of all needless operations 291 00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:34,000 are totally unnecessary? 292 00:14:38,801 --> 00:14:40,868 Eat your ice cream. 293 00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:22,300 The, uh-- The coffee-- The... 294 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,133 [SIGHS HEAVILY] 295 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,601 Aw, geez. 296 00:15:45,601 --> 00:15:49,100 Sit down, Archie. 297 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:51,467 I am sitting down, Edith. 298 00:15:51,467 --> 00:15:55,834 Oh, I mean that everything is gonna be all right. 299 00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:57,601 Oh, come on, say it, huh? 300 00:15:57,601 --> 00:16:00,100 You're thinkin' it. Why don't you come out and say it? 301 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,567 - Say what? - I nearly killed the child. 302 00:16:02,567 --> 00:16:05,200 Oh, Archie, you didn't. 303 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,267 You couldn't help it if her appendix burst. 304 00:16:08,267 --> 00:16:11,501 Who was the one that said she shouldn't have the operation? 305 00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:13,167 Let me finish. 306 00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:16,801 Who was the one that said young Dr. Shapiro shouldn't do it? 307 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,968 Who said old Dr. Shapiro should do it? 308 00:16:18,968 --> 00:16:22,601 Who said we should get a second opinion from Dr. Kurtsman? 309 00:16:22,601 --> 00:16:25,367 Who never called me back from the Copacabana. 310 00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:30,100 Who done all them stupid things there? Who? 311 00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:31,667 You. 312 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:36,534 You throw that in my face and say you ain't blamin' me? 313 00:16:36,534 --> 00:16:42,300 Oh, Archie, you only done what you thought was right. 314 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:44,300 Well, Edith... 315 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,934 I know it's hard for you to believe, but... 316 00:16:46,934 --> 00:16:50,167 I finally was wrong about something. 317 00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:54,234 Archie, lots of people do something wrong 318 00:16:54,234 --> 00:16:56,033 because they thought it was right, 319 00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:58,767 and if it turns out right instead of wrong, 320 00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,968 then they wasn't wrong. 321 00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:02,367 So you can't say that you was wrong 322 00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:04,834 just because it doesn't turn out right. 323 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,734 I know you're trying to cheer me up. 324 00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:13,467 What I don't know is... 325 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,701 what the hell you're talkin' about? 326 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,667 Well, I'll say it again-- 327 00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:21,334 No! Don't repeat that again. 328 00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,601 God! 329 00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:25,067 [SIGHS] 330 00:17:29,434 --> 00:17:30,767 Ooh! 331 00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:57,300 Well... 332 00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:00,901 you'd think that the child's deadbeat father 333 00:18:00,901 --> 00:18:03,901 would be here at a time like this. 334 00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:09,167 Oh, maybe he would be here if he knew about it. 335 00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:12,667 Yeah. Why the hell don't he know about it? 336 00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:17,334 'Cause he ain't here. 337 00:18:19,634 --> 00:18:22,234 This ain't gonna work, Edith. 338 00:18:23,801 --> 00:18:26,601 [SIGHS] Yeah. 339 00:18:26,601 --> 00:18:29,033 You know what I think? 340 00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:31,901 I don't think he's never gonna come back here. 341 00:18:31,901 --> 00:18:34,534 And if he don't come back here, 342 00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:37,667 how are you gonna handle that? 343 00:18:39,734 --> 00:18:41,934 Well, I guess that means... 344 00:18:41,934 --> 00:18:44,434 - that Stephanie is ours. - Stephanie is ours. 345 00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:46,801 Yeah, I know. 346 00:18:46,801 --> 00:18:49,467 Oh, Archie. 347 00:18:50,734 --> 00:18:54,534 Don't you love Stephie? 348 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:58,767 Edith, I ain't gonna answer that question. 349 00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:01,400 Look, she's ten years old now, okay? 350 00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:05,634 In six years, she'll be... 351 00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:09,901 around 16, more or less, huh? 352 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:16,367 Just at that time when we would need all the strength we had 353 00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:20,434 to fight with her night and day... 354 00:19:20,434 --> 00:19:23,501 we'd barely have enough strength to drag ourselves 355 00:19:23,501 --> 00:19:25,267 over the hill to the bone orchard. 356 00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:29,567 Oh, I ain't goin' to no bone orchard. 357 00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,234 If I go, you go. 358 00:19:31,234 --> 00:19:36,567 Archie, having Stephie around is gonna keep us young. 359 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:37,734 Mmm... 360 00:19:37,734 --> 00:19:40,367 - Mrs. Bunker? - EDITH: Oh! 361 00:19:40,367 --> 00:19:42,667 The operation is over. Stephanie is fine. 362 00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:45,567 Oh, oh, thank you, thank you. 363 00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:48,667 [MWAH] Oh, can I see her? 364 00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:51,234 She won't be coming out of the anesthetic for a couple of hours. 365 00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:53,167 Why don't you go home and come back in the morning? 366 00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:57,601 Oh, no, no. I want to stay here when she wakes up. 367 00:19:57,601 --> 00:19:59,000 [QUIETLY] Say something. 368 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,267 Uh, yeah, congratulations there, Sidney. 369 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:06,167 Well, after all, I guess you're a chimp off the old block. 370 00:20:06,167 --> 00:20:07,534 Thank you. 371 00:20:07,534 --> 00:20:10,167 I bet your old man could have did the thing 372 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,334 in half the time. 373 00:20:11,334 --> 00:20:12,834 Probably. 374 00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:16,501 But don't worry. I don't charge by the hour. 375 00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:18,634 That's very decent of you there, Sidney. 376 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:22,267 Oh, thank you, Doctor. 377 00:20:22,267 --> 00:20:23,901 Arch! 378 00:20:23,901 --> 00:20:25,534 Come on. Edith, Edith. 379 00:20:25,534 --> 00:20:29,067 Oh, why don't you go home and get some sleep, huh? 380 00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:30,400 Oh, no, no, no. 381 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,567 You're gonna stay here. Come on. Sit down. 382 00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:34,367 I'll stay with you. 383 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,868 Besides, if I went home alone, 384 00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:38,200 I probably couldn't sleep anyhow. 385 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:43,267 Oh, Archie, you do love Stephie. 386 00:20:43,267 --> 00:20:46,000 That ain't it. 387 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,934 I just mean that, uh... 388 00:20:47,934 --> 00:20:49,934 I'd probably miss your cold feet. 389 00:20:49,934 --> 00:20:53,000 Oh, you're so cute. 390 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,901 Edith, the nurse. 391 00:20:54,901 --> 00:20:57,167 Geez. Huh? 392 00:20:58,634 --> 00:21:01,000 You're awake for this, huh? 393 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,901 Yeah. 394 00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:09,868 - PEOPLE: * Happy birthday to you * - EDITH: Oh, look! 395 00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:14,267 - * Happy birthday to you * - ARCHIE: Hey, you got all the kids here. 396 00:21:14,267 --> 00:21:19,567 Happy birthday, dear Stephanie 397 00:21:19,567 --> 00:21:23,968 - * Happy birthday to you * - I forgot it was my birthday. 398 00:21:23,968 --> 00:21:26,234 [CHEERING] 399 00:21:26,234 --> 00:21:28,834 Hey, hey, Doc. 400 00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:31,167 - Hey, who set that all up, huh? - I did. 401 00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:33,868 You did? Hey, Sidney, you ain't a bad guy. 402 00:21:33,868 --> 00:21:37,200 Well, I'm a chimp off the old block. 403 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,033 Well, I should've said that myself. 404 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,267 - Now, blow out the candles. - We'll all help her. 405 00:21:44,267 --> 00:21:45,467 Make a wish first. 406 00:21:45,467 --> 00:21:47,767 EVERYBODY: One, two, three! 407 00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:49,968 [CHEERING] 408 00:21:49,968 --> 00:21:51,634 I'll cut the cake. 409 00:21:51,634 --> 00:21:54,467 - You got your wish, kid. - That means you're gonna get it. 410 00:21:54,467 --> 00:21:56,567 What did you wish for? 411 00:21:57,968 --> 00:22:00,400 That my father was here. 412 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,934 Edith, why don't you open up all her presents? 413 00:22:05,934 --> 00:22:09,133 - Oh, yeah. Let's open this one first. - Let's see what we got here. 414 00:22:09,133 --> 00:22:12,534 Take that end-- Ooh! You're strong. 415 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,234 - That's-- - Hey, here's this big beautiful one here. 416 00:22:28,234 --> 00:22:30,033 - Let's open this. - Yeah. 417 00:22:30,033 --> 00:22:33,067 First, we gotta find out who it's from there. 418 00:22:33,067 --> 00:22:35,467 Yeah, this here was from out of town. 419 00:22:35,467 --> 00:22:37,567 Oh, no, it ain't. It... 420 00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:39,968 Read the card. 421 00:22:41,934 --> 00:22:45,734 "Happy birthday from your daddy." 422 00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:50,601 Yeah. See? 423 00:22:50,601 --> 00:22:53,300 So your old man was thinking about you there. 424 00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:57,100 - But, Archie-- - Edith, will you open the damn thing? 425 00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,868 Hey, look who's in there! 426 00:23:00,868 --> 00:23:02,367 That's, uh-- What's her name? 427 00:23:02,367 --> 00:23:03,801 Peggy Poo Poo. 428 00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:10,234 BOTH: It's Wanda Wee Wee. 429 00:23:10,234 --> 00:23:12,234 Same thing. 430 00:23:12,234 --> 00:23:14,868 Thanks, Uncle Archie. 431 00:23:14,868 --> 00:23:16,934 Me? What are you thanking me for? 432 00:23:16,934 --> 00:23:21,234 Because my father doesn't spell "daddy" D-A-D-Y. 433 00:23:23,968 --> 00:23:27,133 - Ohh, Archie. - Edith, take it easy. 434 00:23:27,133 --> 00:23:29,133 If you're gonna call me cute again, 435 00:23:29,133 --> 00:23:31,100 I swear I'll open a vein. 436 00:23:32,234 --> 00:23:34,534 Okay, cake for everybody. 437 00:23:34,534 --> 00:23:36,467 ARCHIE: Hey, hey! Here's the cake. 438 00:23:36,467 --> 00:23:37,968 Now, don't eat all of it. 439 00:23:37,968 --> 00:23:40,234 This is for you, Mrs. Bunker. 440 00:23:40,234 --> 00:23:41,534 Ooh, here! 441 00:23:41,534 --> 00:23:42,934 How about some breakfast? 442 00:23:42,934 --> 00:23:44,601 - Huh? - Her. 443 00:23:44,601 --> 00:23:46,167 - Oh. - Okay. 444 00:23:46,167 --> 00:23:47,534 - Cafeteria? - Sure. 445 00:23:47,534 --> 00:23:50,534 Yeah, well, the cafeteria is all right, little girl, 446 00:23:50,534 --> 00:23:53,767 but don't never go up on a roof with this guy. 447 00:24:21,067 --> 00:24:22,501 [ ] 448 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,968 All in the Family was played to a studio audience 449 00:24:41,968 --> 00:24:43,634 for live responses. 450 00:24:43,684 --> 00:24:48,234 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31607

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