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Previously on Velma...
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It's Sheriff Cogburn!
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What do you mean you need
to exhume my mother's body?
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00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,519
Seriously? I don't know
what that means.
5
00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:17,600
It means I wanna dig her up
and make sure she's truly dead.
6
00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:20,640
Wait, is that my mom's cold case file?
Why is that evidence?
7
00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:22,199
And where are
Dr. Perdue's journals?
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00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,239
They were in the file when I gave it
back to Cogburn.
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00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:26,559
Could that be why he was killed?
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00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:30,280
- So, are we good?
- Good? No, we're not good.
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00:00:30,359 --> 00:00:33,479
You killed me, Norville,
and I'll never let you forget it.
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00:00:37,799 --> 00:00:38,920
Hello?
13
00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:47,799
Not gonna lie.
Being popular doesn't suck.
14
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,759
People finally laugh
at my hilarious jokes.
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00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,079
I get Moses privileges
during sporting events.
16
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,640
People even copy my style.
17
00:01:01,759 --> 00:01:05,359
But you do occasionally have to get
behind some pretty dumb shit.
18
00:01:05,439 --> 00:01:09,560
Velma! Why did I just find
a whole stack of Creaky Friday flyers
19
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,040
you were supposed to hand out,
in the trash?
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Yeah. I don't know.
I handed out all of mine.
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00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:18,959
Okay, look. I just think
this town has so many problems.
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00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,000
Homelessness,
a missing murdered sheriff,
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00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:22,799
and not one decent Thai place.
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00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:26,760
Why focus on oiling Crystal Cove's
famously spooky creaking doors?
25
00:01:28,599 --> 00:01:30,439
Well, because it's a tradition.
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00:01:30,519 --> 00:01:33,319
And when else do popular girls
get to make losers do their bidding
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in the name of charity?
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This is our Christmas. So, promise us
you handed out your other flyers.
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I promise.
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Hey, Daph, guess what?
After biology class,
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00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,079
Mr. S is gonna tell me
what he knows
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00:01:50,159 --> 00:01:51,879
about Dr. Perdue's missing journals,
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00:01:51,959 --> 00:01:54,239
and if they're tied
to Sheriff Cogburn's murder.
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00:01:54,319 --> 00:01:57,760
Cool. Maybe Cogburn and Dr. Perdue
were soul mates.
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00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,120
And I'm not just saying soul mates
because you hate the word soul mates.
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00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,239
Soul mates.
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00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,639
Hey, Lola,
I was wondering if...
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00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,120
You'll never escape me,
Norville. Never!
39
00:02:14,199 --> 00:02:16,680
Well, that was weird.
Usually men don't stop hitting on me
40
00:02:16,759 --> 00:02:18,319
until I bring up astrology.
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00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,439
Where's Mr. S?
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00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,840
Sure, he's handsome,
but only cool people are late.
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00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,360
And he has four graphic tees
about mitosis.
44
00:02:25,439 --> 00:02:26,599
He's not here yet.
45
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,759
And I'm sensing strong, negative
forces are at play. Or wait.
46
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,039
Maybe traffic.
47
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,360
Attention, students. I have
some sensitive information.
48
00:02:35,439 --> 00:02:38,400
Mr. S is missing.
And we know he didn't quit,
49
00:02:38,479 --> 00:02:41,599
because teachers really
make a meal out of it when they do.
50
00:02:42,439 --> 00:02:45,439
Oh, God! Who will write my college
recommendation letter?
51
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,599
And only a week
after Cogburn was killed.
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00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,280
Another middle-aged white guy.
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00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,159
Is someone targeting
smartwatch users?
54
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,199
- Now, for those of you...
- Fred!
55
00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,639
{\an8}You think Mr. S's disappearance is
connected to Cogburn's murder, too.
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00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:58,280
Leave me alone, Velma.
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00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,759
What's that picture of?
Your mom?
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00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,120
And that's not just a classic burn.
I'm serious.
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00:03:02,199 --> 00:03:05,240
I still think she's somehow
alive and out for revenge.
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00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,680
Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint,
but this picture proves
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00:03:07,759 --> 00:03:10,680
my mom didn't kill Cogburn,
because she's dead.
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00:03:10,759 --> 00:03:13,599
And finally, we know
Mr. S is your teacher,
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00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:17,280
but this is official police business.
We don't need your help.
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00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,199
So, if we catch
any of you investigating,
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00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,759
you'll be in cuffs faster than a startup
founder with a weird voice.
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00:03:24,879 --> 00:03:29,360
"But in the end, was I kid-napped,
or adult-found?"
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00:03:29,759 --> 00:03:32,319
{\an8}Wow. I am finally hitting my stride.
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00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,439
{\an8}Which means, I've earned a break
and can text Mr. S.
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00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,960
He can't even heart one text?
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00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,120
Jerk!
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00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,240
Oh, damn it!
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00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,840
Fred. Mr. S is now missing.
If you really want me to think
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00:03:50,919 --> 00:03:54,520
your mom hasn't returned to kill
more people, show me the picture.
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00:03:54,599 --> 00:03:56,560
No! The police don't
want us investigating.
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00:03:56,639 --> 00:03:59,840
And if the church has taught me
anything, it's to question nothing.
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00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,400
I have to see that picture.
But how?
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LOCKSMITH
Locked out of a locker?
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00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,680
No. Stupid.
79
00:04:06,759 --> 00:04:07,800
Need answers?
Sometimes they're in front of you!
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00:04:07,879 --> 00:04:08,840
Useless.
81
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,520
Creaky Friday. That's it.
82
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,840
I need to be partnered with Fred
for Creaky Friday tomorrow.
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00:04:15,919 --> 00:04:17,839
He has evidence, and I can
only make him show it to me
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00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,600
if we're stuck together all day.
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00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,160
Velma, I get it.
But we can't just violate
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00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,920
Creaky Friday's sacred
random pairing traditions.
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00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,160
Sacred traditions?
88
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,639
This is oiling hinges, not some old
legend worthy of a montage.
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00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,360
What are you
talking about, Velma?
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00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:34,040
Creaky Friday began
in the 1890s,
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00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,480
when our whole town was on edge
from breathing crystal mining dust.
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00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,519
Thirty-seven people died that year.
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00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,480
To avoid further tragedy,
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00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,279
Crystal Cove's first popular girl,
Helen Creaky,
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00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,439
paid the schoolchildren to oil
all the door hinges in town.
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00:04:52,519 --> 00:04:54,480
And to ensure
they didn't goof off,
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00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,399
Helen used balls of lead
to pair them randomly.
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The pairings were so awkward,
the students oiled hinges
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00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,319
to avoid conversation.
100
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,120
And yes, that year,
20 people still died,
101
00:05:06,199 --> 00:05:07,639
but only from lead poisoning.
102
00:05:08,319 --> 00:05:12,199
And so, the sacred tradition of populars
randomly pairing students
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00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,000
for Creaky Friday, was born.
104
00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:16,319
And we will not tempt fate
by pairing you with Fred.
105
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,680
Brenda merely thought about rigging
Creaky Friday
106
00:05:18,759 --> 00:05:21,319
so she could win it last year.
And look at her now.
107
00:05:23,199 --> 00:05:24,519
Cursed with late lunch.
108
00:05:29,199 --> 00:05:31,480
Norville, why do you keep
looking at me?
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00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,800
You could at least
help me open my textbook.
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00:05:33,879 --> 00:05:38,079
No. I wanted to know
if you'd wanna hang out sometime.
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00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,720
I thought, maybe, I could
make your life a little easier
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00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,480
by building you a transport device.
113
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,319
Awesome.
We'd love a transport device.
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00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,920
"We"? Who is "we"?
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00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,720
We are, four limbs.
And you'd travel in a pack, too,
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00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,319
if people kept trying
to recycle you.
117
00:05:52,399 --> 00:05:54,560
Hey, I'm glass,
not plastic, idiot.
118
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,199
Why are we breaking into
the yearbook office again?
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00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:07,079
You know I can't edit the sneeze
out of your yearbook photo.
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00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,959
- And it's cute.
- I know.
121
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,879
I'm putting metal shavings
in my and Fred's Ping-Pong balls,
122
00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:13,720
so I can use a magnet
to pair us up.
123
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,720
You're rigging Creaky Friday?
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00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,480
- That is a bad idea.
- Wait.
125
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:19,959
Please tell me that in addition
to believing in soulmates,
126
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,639
you're not also superstitious.
127
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,519
It's bad enough our town just started
allowing women onto ships.
128
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,160
A little. But I'm upset
because if you're rigging it,
129
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,000
there's no way for fate to pair us up
and prove to you that we're...
130
00:06:31,079 --> 00:06:32,560
You know.
131
00:06:32,639 --> 00:06:35,800
Daphne, I don't need Creaky Friday
to tell me what we have is special.
132
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,199
Really?
133
00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:40,000
Yes. It's a godless universe,
so just help me cheat.
134
00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:47,920
And now, the traditional picking
of the partners will begin.
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00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,800
The first selection will be made
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00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:54,879
by a young woman who believes
in the sanctity of Creaky Friday.
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00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:56,560
- Right?
- You know it.
138
00:06:58,319 --> 00:07:01,759
Oh, wow. I picked myself and Fred.
Am I saying this right?
139
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,920
Jonez? Joannas?
140
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,360
Fred Jones.
141
00:07:05,439 --> 00:07:06,680
- What?
- Oh, come on.
142
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:09,800
I'm not ready to be bossed around
by another short-haired, angry woman.
143
00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:11,560
Mother just died.
144
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:15,759
Velma, did you really pick the exact
person you wanted to be paired with?
145
00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:19,439
See? We told you
to trust the tradition.
146
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,560
The next pair is...
147
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,199
Daphne and Amber!
148
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,399
- Wait, what?
- And so it was written.
149
00:07:27,759 --> 00:07:28,879
Yeah, give me one sec.
150
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,920
See, I told you not to mess
with Creaky Friday.
151
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,079
Now I'm spending all day
with your nemesis.
152
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,959
Amber's not my nemesis, Daphne.
153
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,920
I just think occult stuff is weird.
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00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,959
Your pairing is merely a coincidence.
155
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,800
Because I promise you the universe
does not punish people
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00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,639
for messing with tradition.
157
00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:50,600
I know you rigged this, Velma.
158
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,040
If there's one thing
rich people know, it's cheating.
159
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,480
So what if I did? There are more
important things than tradition.
160
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,399
No, there aren't.
Look at the Catholics.
161
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,920
We used to control the world.
162
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,879
But then, Martin Luther was all, like...
"Let's ignore traditions."
163
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:04,199
And now, we only control Boston
and the Supreme Court.
164
00:08:04,279 --> 00:08:06,959
Exactly. Tradition,
religion, superstition.
165
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,199
When you remove the fun hats
and free wine,
166
00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:11,279
they're just about
controlling people with fear.
167
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,680
So, you don't believe in anything?
168
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,720
I believe in proving
your mom is still alive
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00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,920
and looking through
people's medicine cabinets.
170
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,079
Which is why we're going
to ignore Daphne's moms
171
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,120
and break into Mr. S's apartment
to look for clues on his disappearance.
172
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,240
What? Police tape? Coroners?
173
00:08:25,319 --> 00:08:27,879
A detective needlessly
squatting and shaking her head?
174
00:08:27,959 --> 00:08:30,120
Mr. S isn't missing.
I think he's dead!
175
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:33,720
Velma, we can't be here.
We'll be arrested for investigating.
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00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:35,200
And I'm already
gonna have trouble
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00:08:35,279 --> 00:08:37,639
explaining why I went
to prison for murder to colleges.
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00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:38,799
Well, too bad.
179
00:08:38,879 --> 00:08:41,759
Because the only way I'm not telling
the cops we're investigating right now,
180
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,200
is if you show me that picture
in your file.
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00:08:44,759 --> 00:08:47,279
- Advertisement!
- Ad-ver-tisement!
182
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,799
I told Velma it was dangerous
to mess up the pairing ritual.
183
00:08:50,879 --> 00:08:53,559
Now, it's too random
and everyone's fighting
184
00:08:53,639 --> 00:08:54,879
instead of oiling hinges.
185
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,080
I agree that
larger forces are at play,
186
00:08:57,159 --> 00:09:00,679
but I actually manifested us
being paired together.
187
00:09:00,759 --> 00:09:03,120
Amber, please.
Superstition is one thing,
188
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,159
but believing in things
like manifesting
189
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,240
is what makes
Velma think you're weird.
190
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,440
Also your "I'm weird" tattoo.
191
00:09:09,879 --> 00:09:10,960
I see.
192
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,279
Well then, you leave me no choice
but to enlighten you
193
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,600
by manifesting
us winning Creaky Friday.
194
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,320
Oh, God! I mean,
that is a really nice,
195
00:09:24,399 --> 00:09:27,879
not at all totally messed up
shrine to your mom on a dog crate.
196
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,960
Yeah, or employee crate,
depending on Mother's mood.
197
00:09:31,039 --> 00:09:33,639
Regardless, a real upside
to being Catholic now,
198
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,080
is knowing she's in a better place.
199
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,120
- Fred! What are you doing?
- What? It's my hiding place.
200
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,000
And I don't want this picture
falling into the wrong hands. Here.
201
00:09:44,879 --> 00:09:48,159
What? Either they stopped cleaning
the public pools again or that's...
202
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,799
A ghost. But the Church
thinks it's a demon,
203
00:09:50,879 --> 00:09:54,600
which is why they sold me
this relic for only 10,000 dollars.
204
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,120
It's the toe of a saint.
This little piggy is holy!
205
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,080
Fred, where did you
get this picture?
206
00:10:00,159 --> 00:10:02,720
{\an8}The person who hired me
to solve Cogburn's death sent it.
207
00:10:02,799 --> 00:10:03,960
And don't ask who hired me.
208
00:10:04,039 --> 00:10:06,480
They insist on doing everything
anonymously over email.
209
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,159
Wait,
I've seen this ghost before!
210
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,279
They're okay,
which is pretty lucky
211
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,919
since they listed their health care
provider as the wind.
212
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,360
Amber, what were you thinking?
213
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,960
You never throw your body
at a car worth less than $75,000!
214
00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:22,320
Listen.
215
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,960
- The squeaking hinges.
- I told you manifesting isn't weird.
216
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,000
Now, let's go win this thing.
217
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,559
All right, here's your old typewriter
as requested,
218
00:10:35,639 --> 00:10:38,399
and a bottle of idea juice
from your old stash in the toy bin.
219
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,600
What? That's not mine.
I always get my liquor inside my body.
220
00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:44,480
Diya, I know you.
Laptops don't just break.
221
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:47,320
I bet your life you're self-sabotaging
again to keep from writing.
222
00:10:47,399 --> 00:10:49,639
And this was the only thing
that ever helped you.
223
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,240
Self-sabotage? How dare you?
224
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,080
No. You're right.
This is what I need to finish my book.
225
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,840
Okay. So, to ensure these are properly
reading brain activity,
226
00:11:03,919 --> 00:11:06,080
I need to make
some light, small talk.
227
00:11:06,159 --> 00:11:08,600
Brenda, you sleep okay?
You look a little tired.
228
00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:10,879
I knew it.
My lobe has crow's feet.
229
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,440
And Krista? I hear your parents'
marriage is in trouble?
230
00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:15,600
How could it be in trouble?
231
00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,799
They barely talk to each other.
What are these questions?
232
00:11:17,879 --> 00:11:19,279
Yeah, what's the deal?
233
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,000
I'm getting major "frat guys invite us
to a sex party,"
234
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:23,799
"but then fill our jars
with goldfish" vibes.
235
00:11:23,879 --> 00:11:27,720
What? I'm just asking questions,
cause I'm interested in your lives.
236
00:11:27,799 --> 00:11:29,519
But are they
causing you anxiety?
237
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,159
See? I told you
it wasn't a ghost.
238
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,519
So, put your relic away
before someone develops
239
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,519
yet another TV show about a believer
and a smoking hot skeptic.
240
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,240
Are you kidding? This only
makes my faith stronger.
241
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:48,399
Real faith is knowing something's true
even when it's verifiably false.
242
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,600
Excuse me?
243
00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:52,759
I need to know the last person
who rented this costume.
244
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,600
Was their name Victoria Jones?
245
00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:58,120
So sorry.
Customer lists are private.
246
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,279
People's role playing fantasies
are meant to be kept between them
247
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:03,559
and me.
248
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,600
Stop that.
Halloween is coming,
249
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,879
and I need the place
as creaky as possible.
250
00:12:10,399 --> 00:12:11,720
Fred! The computer!
251
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,519
Norville?
252
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,080
Oh, my God, that's where
I remember the costume from.
253
00:12:19,919 --> 00:12:21,039
Norville?
254
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,679
Fred, we have to go now!
255
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,799
That's over 50 doors,
but it's not enough to win.
256
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:30,000
I guess I was only powerful enough
to manifest an "I told you so".
257
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,799
If you really wanna win, you'll have
to help me manifest it, Daphne.
258
00:12:32,879 --> 00:12:35,559
Me? Manifest? Mm, okay.
259
00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:36,879
But only to win.
260
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,039
Not because I'm desperate
to prove to Velma
261
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,879
there's more to the universe
than she thinks.
262
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,840
Okay, now, deep breaths.
263
00:12:44,279 --> 00:12:45,320
And...
264
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:49,799
How would you two like to
come to the basement with me?
265
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:53,360
I have some things
that need lubricating.
266
00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:55,120
We did it!
267
00:12:59,399 --> 00:13:01,240
Wait. Are we in a morgue?
268
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:05,600
Yes.
Welcome to your final resting place.
269
00:13:08,159 --> 00:13:10,039
Eventually!
He meant to say,
270
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,039
"Your final
resting place, eventually."
271
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,120
I'm so sorry. Everything he says
is so unintentionally creepy.
272
00:13:17,159 --> 00:13:19,279
Anyway, are you here
to oil the hinges?
273
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:21,960
It did work!
274
00:13:24,519 --> 00:13:26,879
Norville, this is amazing!
275
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,399
We'll never question
a guy's motives again.
276
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,159
We know you wore the ghost costume
on the night of Cogburn's death.
277
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,360
You killed him.
278
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,399
An innocent old man with a whole week
or two ahead of him.
279
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,279
What? No, I didn't!
280
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,720
Oh, God!
281
00:13:40,799 --> 00:13:43,720
You didn't kill Cogburn.
But you did kill me.
282
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,480
And I'll never let your brain
forget it, Norville.
283
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,480
Help! I'm hallucinating!
284
00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:57,120
I need a snack!
285
00:14:01,279 --> 00:14:02,799
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
286
00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:04,279
Okay. Well, in that case,
287
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:07,120
why were you at the police station
in a ghost costume?
288
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,960
- Did you kill Cogburn?
- Of course I didn't kill him.
289
00:14:10,039 --> 00:14:12,080
I was just there to get
my grandmother's journals.
290
00:14:12,159 --> 00:14:15,279
So, that's why her journals were missing
from my mom's cold case file.
291
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,919
Yes! I used the costume
to hide my identity
292
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,799
from the security cameras,
and stole the journals
293
00:14:19,879 --> 00:14:21,440
when Cogburn went
to the bathroom.
294
00:14:21,519 --> 00:14:24,879
I knew her research could help me
isolate the anxiety in my brain
295
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,480
and hopefully get rid of it.
296
00:14:26,559 --> 00:14:28,799
But I needed to experiment
on the brains first.
297
00:14:28,879 --> 00:14:30,159
What? I knew it.
298
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,440
Men are only nice
when they're also being creepy.
299
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,240
A likely story.
Call the cops, Velma.
300
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:43,399
And he'll need a lawyer.
Not your dad. A good one.
301
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,600
What? No. There's no way
Norville did this.
302
00:14:45,679 --> 00:14:48,600
If he was gonna snap and kill anyone,
it would obviously be me.
303
00:14:49,559 --> 00:14:50,759
Interesting.
304
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,840
Despite all the physical evidence
saying one thing,
305
00:14:53,919 --> 00:14:56,559
you still believe
in something else.
306
00:14:59,639 --> 00:15:01,000
So, you let Norville walk,
307
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,159
{\an8}but I'm the fanatic
for using a saint's toe
308
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,600
{\an8}to protect us from demons.
309
00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:08,720
Fred, believing Norville is innocent,
is not the same as believing in ghosts
310
00:15:08,799 --> 00:15:11,639
or a God that dictates
who wins our top music awards.
311
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,519
How? Your baseless belief
is shaping your judgment.
312
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,360
My belief is not baseless.
We know Norville.
313
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,799
Would a murderer
be a children's party clown?
314
00:15:19,879 --> 00:15:21,559
Or know every sign
of the zodiac?
315
00:15:21,639 --> 00:15:24,759
Or give hitchhikers rides?
Okay, not great examples.
316
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,279
Norville was at the scene
of Cogburn's murder.
317
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,000
Fact, he lied about it.
318
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,480
Fact, his grandmother's ghost
possessed my mother.
319
00:15:31,559 --> 00:15:33,080
- Fact.
- No, not a fact.
320
00:15:33,159 --> 00:15:35,639
Your mother wasn't possessed,
Norville's innocent,
321
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,279
and your saint's toe
is clearly just an old caramel.
322
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:42,159
Well, I hope you didn't plan on winning
any country music awards this year
323
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,919
because you just blew it.
324
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:54,240
No, no, no. Not those two.
Those two are off limits.
325
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,600
Promise you won't open them.
326
00:15:55,679 --> 00:15:56,919
- Okay.
- We promise.
327
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,720
Thank you. Because Vincent
and I are late for our couples' therapy.
328
00:16:00,799 --> 00:16:04,159
Yes. Today we are going to kill
329
00:16:04,679 --> 00:16:06,679
our fears of being vulnerable.
330
00:16:17,919 --> 00:16:19,480
It's Sheriff Cogburn!
331
00:16:19,559 --> 00:16:21,720
- And this is Mr. S!
- What?
332
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,240
But how'd they die?
333
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:32,720
Velma, thank God you came.
We found Cogburn and Mr. S,
334
00:16:32,799 --> 00:16:34,320
and they're not only dead...
335
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,639
Their dongs were removed?
336
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:40,039
This is almost as bad as girls having
their brains removed. Almost.
337
00:16:42,799 --> 00:16:44,600
TMI! Cannot unsee that.
338
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,720
Are you done masking your fear
with performative overreaction?
339
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,159
Yeah, yeah, wait.
340
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,919
- I'm good.
- But who would do that?
341
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,679
And why would someone with a photo
of Norville in a ghost costume
342
00:16:55,759 --> 00:16:57,240
hire Fred to figure it out?
343
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,000
- Where'd you get this?
- It's a still.
344
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,080
From a police station
surveillance camera.
345
00:17:01,159 --> 00:17:03,799
It is? Then we have to go there.
Come on, Daph.
346
00:17:03,879 --> 00:17:05,799
And Amber, too, I guess.
347
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,680
Actually, Velma,
348
00:17:08,759 --> 00:17:11,160
Amber and I are really close
to winning Creaky Friday.
349
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,680
I know you think it's dumb,
but I think you're dumb
350
00:17:13,759 --> 00:17:17,119
for not believing in different
moisturizers for different body parts.
351
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,119
- Or soul mates.
- Oh, my God.
352
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,519
Do you really wanna have a deep
conversation about our feelings now?
353
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:24,480
- Yes.
- Fine.
354
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,160
Punch it, Fred.
355
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,000
Thanks so much
for meeting with me, William.
356
00:17:34,759 --> 00:17:36,400
It's nice to be
out of the house.
357
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:40,160
Even if it is, I assume, to be shamed
for something my wife did.
358
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,759
Wouldn't be the first time today.
359
00:17:41,839 --> 00:17:43,240
I actually have something for you.
360
00:17:43,319 --> 00:17:46,799
I assume from your clothes, breath,
and bursts of anger, you drink Scotch?
361
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,000
Yes!
362
00:17:48,079 --> 00:17:50,880
I wanna interview you for my book.
It's a memoir about my kidnapping.
363
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,519
And recipes. Going for
an early Nora Ephron vibe.
364
00:17:53,599 --> 00:17:55,400
Well, then, I accept your Scotch.
365
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,279
But if this isn't adversarial,
366
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:01,480
we really should be drinking Burgundy,
don't you think?
367
00:18:01,559 --> 00:18:03,240
I don't drink anymore.
368
00:18:03,319 --> 00:18:07,680
Well, what do you do
for fun, then, Diya Dinkley?
369
00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:12,440
My favorite part of police work
is the crafting.
370
00:18:12,519 --> 00:18:14,279
Gonna crochet handcuffs next.
371
00:18:14,799 --> 00:18:17,240
This photo was taken
the night of Cogburn's murder.
372
00:18:17,319 --> 00:18:19,400
One of your officers
sent it to Fred.
373
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:23,519
Fred, a child, with the mind
and body of a younger child.
374
00:18:23,599 --> 00:18:25,920
What? Where did you get that?
375
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,480
No one has access
to that footage except us.
376
00:18:28,559 --> 00:18:32,039
And the North Korean teen who sent me
a fake link to some puppy pics.
377
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,960
Unless...
378
00:18:34,839 --> 00:18:37,519
I'm sorry.
I sent the photo to Fred,
379
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:41,440
but only because we have no leads
and he's a supernatural expert.
380
00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:42,920
Look at his saint's toe.
381
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,319
No, Velma's right.
It's a caramel.
382
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,279
Wait.
No, that was bone.
383
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,359
Linda, we've got
an election coming up.
384
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,920
If people find out we're still letting
kids solve our cases,
385
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,880
we're ruined. How could you?
386
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,799
It's because Linda's more worried
about how voters will react
387
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,200
if they learned that a dong-removing
serial killer
388
00:19:01,279 --> 00:19:03,039
is running wild on their watch.
389
00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:04,440
Yes. But wait.
390
00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:06,960
How do you know
about their missing dongs?
391
00:19:07,039 --> 00:19:09,759
Daphne and Amber found their bodies,
while oiling hinges.
392
00:19:09,839 --> 00:19:12,799
Meaning, my decision to violate
the rules of Creaky Friday
393
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,400
are even more validated.
Yeah, boy.
394
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,200
- Two men are dead, Velma.
- Yes, of course. I'm sorry.
395
00:19:18,279 --> 00:19:21,359
Now, please,
promise you'll tell no one.
396
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,680
Busy, Dad. You and Mom
just do date night without me.
397
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,319
Lola?
What are you doing here?
398
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,960
Has skateboarding caused you
to smoke and be shitty to women?
399
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:35,440
I can't reverse that, I'm afraid.
400
00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:37,519
No, I deserve an apology.
401
00:19:37,599 --> 00:19:40,480
Just because you're hot doesn't mean
you can treat me like you did.
402
00:19:40,559 --> 00:19:41,680
Got it?
403
00:19:41,759 --> 00:19:44,519
Got what? After you said
you think I'm hot everything got fuzzy.
404
00:19:44,599 --> 00:19:46,799
Well, the point is,
I deserve better.
405
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,200
Not much better. I did just
ram some loser's shin,
406
00:19:49,279 --> 00:19:50,680
and I'm totes fine with it.
407
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,680
- But, still...
- I'm sorry.
408
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,000
What I did was wrong.
409
00:19:54,079 --> 00:19:56,200
I'm just so desperate
to stop my hallucinations.
410
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:59,240
Okay, well, then you leave me
no choice but to help you cure them.
411
00:19:59,319 --> 00:20:01,960
And you should hope I still wanna
jump your bones
412
00:20:02,039 --> 00:20:03,240
once you're damage free.
413
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:10,119
So, someone is now killing men
associated with Dr. Perdue's journals,
414
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,319
and removing their dongs.
415
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,319
Sorry, reflex. But I still think
Norville is the killer.
416
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,440
You do? But you didn't
even mention him
417
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,200
as a potential suspect
to Linda and Donna,
418
00:20:21,279 --> 00:20:23,440
even when they gave you
that honorary sheriff sticker.
419
00:20:23,519 --> 00:20:24,880
Yeah, well, what can I say?
420
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,680
I realized your faith in Norville
is good enough for me.
421
00:20:27,759 --> 00:20:30,440
Damn it! This is why religious people
are so maddening.
422
00:20:30,519 --> 00:20:33,519
You act nuts, but then do good stuff
no one else will do.
423
00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:35,359
Like feed the poor
and entertain old people.
424
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:39,000
Whoa, wait. What? We do?
Well, this is not that.
425
00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:41,279
I don't expect you to believe
my mom was possessed.
426
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,599
But I'll continue
to believe you about Norville,
427
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,279
if you at least believe me
that my mom is dead.
428
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,119
Fine. And I'm sorry
I mocked your religion.
429
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,759
If it brings you peace to think
that bitch is in a better place,
430
00:20:52,839 --> 00:20:54,000
who am I to judge?
431
00:20:54,079 --> 00:20:56,680
I mean, it's no crazier
than Daphne believing in soul mates,
432
00:20:56,759 --> 00:20:58,960
and I've been very accepting of that.
433
00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:00,400
- Wait.
- Thanks, Velma.
434
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,559
That means a lot.
435
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,680
As we learned in my favorite passage
from Genesis,
436
00:21:03,759 --> 00:21:07,079
"There's too many men, too many
people making too many problems
437
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,079
"and not much love to go around."
438
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,720
Fred! Please do more research
on the Catholic Church!
439
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,400
Fine. This'll be good.
440
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:17,759
Oh, my God!
441
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,079
I have to give them
10% of my gross income?
442
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,240
What a scam! I am out!
443
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,839
And the Creaky Friday team
who oiled the most doors today
444
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:31,319
were Daphne Blake
and this new kid
445
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,359
who people are still
forming an opinion about.
446
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,559
Amber, it worked!
Thank you!
447
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,000
Those college admissions committee
shills are gonna eat this shit up.
448
00:21:40,079 --> 00:21:41,839
And now, to the steps
of the Police Department
449
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,279
where Merle Cogburn is making
a special announcement.
450
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:47,880
As you know,
451
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,799
my beloved brother and voice twin,
Earl, passed away.
452
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,680
What you don't know is that
the two women hoping to replace him
453
00:21:56,119 --> 00:22:00,680
have outsourced the investigation
of his death to kids!
454
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,680
Which leaves me no choice
but to enter the race myself.
455
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,759
What?
456
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:09,559
Velma?
457
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:13,279
I'm sorry for being so closed-minded
about the soul mates thing.
458
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,759
I care for you more than anyone.
459
00:22:15,839 --> 00:22:18,599
And if you wanna call that
being soul mates, I'm all for it.
460
00:22:19,079 --> 00:22:21,279
Thank you. I appreciate that.
461
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,759
I learned a lot today, too.
462
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:27,880
Have you heard of manifesting?
463
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,319
It doesn't just help
beautiful women at auditions,
464
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,640
it could probably help
with your investigation.
465
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,720
Yeah, maybe. Thanks.
466
00:22:34,799 --> 00:22:38,519
But as tolerant as I've become,
I still find that stuff a little silly.
467
00:22:38,599 --> 00:22:41,200
I mean, I messed with
Creaky Friday's sacred tradition
468
00:22:41,279 --> 00:22:43,880
and absolutely nothing bad
happened to me.
469
00:22:45,519 --> 00:22:47,119
Oh, God!
470
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,799
We would have covered up if we'd
heard the door, but it was just oiled!
471
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,799
I hate Creaky Friday!
472
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:54,640
I forgot you had a kid.
473
00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:08,960
Vincent. I saw the door was open
to the body room.
474
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,440
Are you using them to practice
your ballroom dancing again?
475
00:23:12,519 --> 00:23:13,720
Vincent?
476
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:15,599
Vincent?
37157
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