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[ Man ]
All right, buddy,
Matt, just give us--

[ Matt ]
Yeah, I think I'm on now.
[ Man ] Let me hear you.

One, two.
One, one, two.

Jem?
Yes.

Jem?
Yep.

I can't hear you.

Uh,
say one, one, two, three.
One, two, three.

No, I'm not getting anything.
Have you turned it on?

Mike expert.
How about now?

Yes.
Sorry about that.

Fucking idiot.
[ All Chuckle ]

Classic.
Okay.

Hello, I'm Matt,
and welcome to
our application video.

For the?
For the James Randi One Million
Dollar Paranormal Challenge.

Hi, I'm Jemma.
Jemma, nice to meet you.
Hello.

Welcome to
our application video.

Shall we go into any more
detail now or are we--

No, let's wait till it arrives.
Yeah.
Yeah?

This is all the shit
that I've robbed from school.

Jem, you're gonna be using that,
right, the Handycam?

With the top light.
Shall I demonstrate?

Nice little one.
[ All Chuckle ]

Matt.
This is mine, yeah?

Unfortunately, no.
You get something
much smaller.

What?
Ah, gutted.

That's clearly for me.
That's the size
I should be using.

It's not the size that matters,
it's how you use it.
Yeah.

You need to keep your mics on
at all times, right?
So we can hear everything.

We wanna film everything
all the time.
Sorry, all the time?

Oh, what, yeah,
I can't switch this off?

We have to film,
and we have to hear everything.

Okay,
I've got something prepared
for you already.

[ Matt ]
Okay.
What?

A little exam for you,
a little teaser for you.

[ Matt ]
Oh, my God.
[ Groaning ]

[ Matt ]
What is coming at us?
Motherfucker.

[ All Chuckling ]

You haven't
even got eye holes.

One million dollars.

How much money
are we gonna win?

[ Matt ]
A million dollars!
[ Laughing ]

Ooh!
[ Thud ]

Oh!

Are you all right?
Shit, are you okay?

[ Chuckles ]
Yeah, I'm fine.

Ready?
Yeah.

Uh, hello. I'm Steve,

and this is our application
for the One Million Dollar
Paranormal Challenge.

And we're gonna win.

[ Steve ]
Do you, Jemma,
believe in ghosts?

Uh,
I don't believe in ghosts.

Why the fuck not?

Because--

Look
at the camera.
Sorry.

Um, I just don't.

I've never experienced
anything weird or scary.

In the back of your mind
there is a chance, right?

'Cause we wanna
win this challenge, surely.

Yeah-- No, I mean,
I want to win the money...

and I'm willing to help,

but my own personal view
is that it's not-not true.

And I'm doing this, as well,
to kind of, you know,

see if anything happens.

I'm curious. I'm curious.

Okay.
Say we win.
Yeah.

What would you do
with the money?

I think I'd save it.

[ Matt ]
Ooh, calm down.

[ Steve Chuckles ]
What?

When I was like, four,

I came into my living room
and grabbed my mum and was like,

"Grandpa wants
to speak to you."
Yeah.

And, uh, she didn't really
know what to say,

but like I took her by the hand
and like, pulled her
into our dining room,

and was like, "Grandpa--
Grandpa wants to speak to you.
He's there. He's there."

And I pointed to this chair.
Um--

But my-- my grandpa died
before I was born.

Ooh.
And I... never met him,

But apparently--

So was it, like,
some other old geezer?

[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ]

Well, apparently the chair
that I pointed to...

was the one that
he would always sit in.

In the dining room.
When he came round.
Shit.

What would you do
with the cash?

I would go on a bender.
[ Laughs ]
Yes!

Come on.
If we win this thing--

You're not gonna save it?
No.

Boring people save.

I mean what are you--
You just win 333.333.

And does your best bud
get a present?

You, yeah of course you do.
What do I get?

You can have a pen.
A pen?

You can have
a commemorative pen.

[ Matt ]
Do you believe
in ghosties?

Yes.

[ Jemma ]
And why?

Because I would really like to.
It would be really fun.

[ Jemma ] What?
[ Matt ]
Have you ever seen one, or--

I've never seen one, no.
[ Matt ]
No personal experiences?

I believe in dinosaurs,
but I've never seen a dinosaur.
[ Matt Chuckles ]

[ Jemma ]
There's evidence
of a dinosaur existing.

[ Jemma ]
What would you do
with the money?

[ Matt ]
I mean, surely,
a new pair of jeans.

No, I wanna make a film, man.
[ Jemma ]
Yeah, look at that big hole.

I don't know
if you can see this.
Can you see that?

[ Matt ]
Oh, it's here.
Hello?

Yeah, yeah.
All right, let's go.

[ Jemma ] Guys!
Mate, it's here.
It's fucking here.

[ Matt ] It's got some
weight to it, it's not like
a piece of shit.

[ Steve ]
It's the weight
of all the ghosties.

[ Matt ] Oh, my God.
Mate, can you
believe it's here?

On the day
it's supposed to be.

Here she is!
[ Jemma ]
So this is it.

[ Ghostly Moans, Roars ]

Oh, my God, man.
This is making me
feel really creepy.

[ Sighs ]
Yeah, it's bigger than
I thought it was gonna be.

Mate, I'm so fucking--
[ Chuckles ]

We got it!

Should we do something
for our, like, application?

We found out about
your challenge and went and
eBayed some paranormal stuff.

[ Steve ]
Loads of people
had viewed it, right?

We're the only people who put--
Yeah, it had like,
25,400 something views.

We're the only people who
even put an offer in, right?
No one bid, no bids.

I was, like, "Look, mate,
give it to me now."
They all knew it was crap.

[ Steve ]
First person to open it
gets cursed.

That's not true.
[ Boys Laugh ]

[ Steve ]
Is it?
Fine, I-I don't mind.

[ Steve ] Better you than me.
I thought you
weren't superstitious.

Okay.
I am superstitious,
actually.

Okay. Well,
just try not to break it,

'cause that's seven years
of bad luck to start with.
[ Laughs ] Great.

[ Steve ] All right,
be easy, easy, easy.
This is our baby.

Read something out to me.
Read something.

"Yorkshire Relish.

Obtain 2,400 drops
of concentrated flavor."
"Gala week."

Is there nothing like,
"And he killed her
with an ax"?

Disappointing, right?

[ Jemma ]
I think so, but then,
you know what I'm like.

It's not exactly
the antique we were
going for.

[ Jemma Laughs ]
You've been ripped off.
You've been ripped off.

Ah, you've been ripped off.
[ Laughs ]
We don't know that.

Welcome to mirror cam.

Twenty-four hours,
all day, all night.
Seven days a week.

She's not gonna miss a thing.

Boo.

Okay.

Video diary, day one
in the haunted-mirror house.

Not much to report.
It's been an exciting day.

Certainly with
all the surveillance, it feels
like something's going on.

[ Jemma ] Oh, Matt.
Put the camera away.
Which it is now.

You have to do video diaries
for Steve.

Oh, Steve the perv.
No!
We have to.

So today was...
thoroughly disappointing.

Not what I was expecting.

Nothing really kicked off.

Weirdest thing that happened
to me today is I can't remember
taking my socks off.

[ Sighs ]

I dreamt of my dad last night,

which was really nice
'cause I saw his face.

And I hope he understands
why I'm doing this.

[ Electronic Static, Beeping ]

[ Jemma Whispering ]
Steve.

Steve.

[ Gasps ]
[ Whispering ]
Steve-- Shh, shh.

What? What? What?
Shh, shh.

[ Whispers ]
What?
[ Whispers ] Come on.

Is it a ghost?
No, it's Matt.

[ Steve Whispering ]
Is this a joke?
Shh.

I'm gonna
fucking kill you
if this is a joke.

[ Jemma ]
He's asleep.

[ Steve ]
That is so creepy.

What should we do?

Don't you think
we should wake him up?

No, you're not supposed to.

Jem?
Yeah.

Jem.
[ Laughs Quietly ]

What?

He's--
He's weed on the floor.
Oh, my God.

[ Laughs ]
Jem, he's done a wee
in his pants.

Oh, my God.

[ Jemma ]
Oh, come on, Matt.
Get out of bed.

[ Steve Whispers ]
Is he coming?
He's coming.

You're kidding me.

[ Jemma ]
Hey, baby!
Morning, filming already? Nice.

[ Steve ] Walk of shame
if I ever saw one.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Jemma ]
How are you feeling today?
He has no idea.

I'm all right.
[ Jemma ]
Are you good? Yeah?

Yeah, I'm tired.

Are you wearing the same--

Are these the same pants that
you were wearing last night?

[ Steve ]
Oh, shit!
[ Steve, Jemma Laugh ]

The wrong trousers.

Don't worry.
I won't tell your mother.

This was last night?

Yeah.

What the hell am I doing?
Look.

You can see the pain
in his eyes.
Yeah, look at that.

There's a massive wet patch--

which you're definitely
clearing up off the floor today,
'cause I'm not.

I haven't done that
for years.

[ Steve ] You've done it before?
[ Jemma ]
Oh, no!

Why didn't you tell me?
Yeah, sleepwalking,
not wetting myself.

Dick.
[ Steve ]
His ex-girlfriend.

He pissed on her.
[ Jemma Laughs ]
Maybe it's his thing.

I used to do it
when I was, like, six. I used
to sleepwalk all the time.

Yeah?
Yeah.

And they had to--
They ended up
having to lock my door.

Because, like--

I basically fell down
the stairs and, like,
fractured my skull right here.

[ Jemma ]
What?
[ Steve ] When you were six?

[ Jemma ]
You never said that.
Yeah.

Oh, God.
It was proper horrible.

[ Steve ]
Have you got a groovy scar?
Yeah, do you wanna feel it?

Yeah, let me see it.

Just there.

[ Steve ]
Holy shit, man.

[ Jemma ]
So you're gonna change
the sheets today, yeah?

[ Sighs ]
I can't believe I pissed myself.
[ Jemma, Indistinct ]

Have you checked this
for any ghosts?

Yeah, I checked it
this morning.
There's nothing.

[ Matt ]
It's blinking. Are we good?
It's blinking.

Oh, I'm not sure.

Yeah man, we got it.
Yeah?

So this is gonna
be recording
wherever I go, right?

Yeah, man.
Surfers and skateboarders
use them.

[ Matt ]
Really?
Now sleepwalkers use them.

Like action sequences?
Oh, don't tell him that.

What do I look like?
Oh, nice.

[ Steve ] You look well cool.
I look like
a fucking secret agent.

All right bro, so,
James Bond style.

[ Grunts ]
Here I go.

[ All Laugh ]

Come on.
Allahu Akbar!

Whoa!
[ Boys Laughing ]

That is like mirror cam
on the go,
mirror cam on speed.

I'm the main event now.
He's the money.

With that on him.
[ Laughs ]

Million pound man.

[ Matt On Microphone ]
Okay, it's blinking.

We're ready for the night.

Mmm.

I feel like
there's something between us.

Thank you, Steve.
You've ruined our sex life.

[ Chatter ]

[ Matt ]
Okay. Good night, sort of.

[ Man ]
* Out of sight
and out of mind *

[ Laughs ]

[ Exhales ]

** [ Classic Rock ]

[ Man ]
* So do take good care of her *

* And tell her you love her *

** [ Continues ]

Whoa, that was good.
[ Matt ]
That was rubbish!

That was good.
You were not even gonna
hold that for a second.

** [ Steve Vocalizing ]

- [ Jemma and Matt Laughing ]
- Whoa.

While you guys were
watching Sex in the City,

I thought I'd fucking,
you know, try and
get something going.

Something's gotta happen, right?

[ Matt ]
Smooth.

I've got a surprise
for you both.

[ Jemma ]
Oh, my God.
Here we go.

Have you ever done one before?
No.

[ Jemma ]
No.

What is your name?

No.
[ Jemma ]
No, it's not doing anything.

[ Matt ] This is bull--
[ All ]
Oh!

[ Steve ] Okay.
Sorry. I'm back,
I'm back in again.

[ Matt ]
I didn't do that.

[ Steve ] T. T.
[ Jemma ] T?

[ Steve ]
I'm telling you now.
This is not me.

It's, like,
in the middle.

[ Boys ] "O".
Straight up.

Get this one.
"N," "N."

Yeah.

Are you doing this?
No.

I think it's just a combination
of the two of us.
I kind of think it is.

[ Both ]
Tony! Tony!

Tony the motherfucking ghost.
[ Jemma ]
We have a name.

Well, that was shit.
[ Jemma ]
Aw.

I'm really disappointed.
That was crap.

[ Jemma ]
I wanted it to be a girl.
[ Sighs ]

All right, come on.
We've gotta try again.

Let's--
T-T, Matt.

Candles, candles,
blow 'em.

Oh, shit balls.
[ Jemma ]
Oh.

[ Snaps Fingers ]
Mate.

[ Jemma ]
What's he doing?
Matt?

Matt--
Matt?

Very funny, Matt.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Exhales ]

[ Whispers ]
Think he's about to
piss his pants.

Seen that face before.
[ Chuckles ]
I'll get the nappies.

Matt?

Matt.

Give me the camera, Jem.
Yeah, yeah. Take it.

Matt?

[ Steve Whispering ]
What was the guy's name?

Tony, right?
The spirit, Tony?

[ Steve ]
Tony.

Grab us a beer.

[ Both Chuckle ]

[ Steve ]
Nice ass, Tony.

Matt.

He's getting me a beer.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Jemma ]
Do the washing up.
Tony.

[ Bottle Clatters ]

[ Metallic Clink ]

[ Metallic Scraping ]

Okay, Matt,
it's not funny now.

Dude?
[ Clears Throat ]

Mate, if you've got a knife,
I'm seriously gonna
fuck you up.

What's he got?
Uh,
he's got a fucking knife.

Has he got me a beer?
Uh, Jem, Jem, take this,
take this, take this.

I don't know
what he's doing now.
Matt?

Mate, bravo,
that's fantastic.

But if you come any closer,
I'm gonna fucking
karate chop you.

[ Snorts, Laughs ]
You're a dickhead.

You're such a wanker, man.
What you doing that for?

[ Jemma ]
That was--
You should have heard yourself.

[ Jemma ]
I actually believed you
for a second then. Honestly.

That was really convincing.
[ Knife Clatters ]

[ Jemma And Steve ]
Oh.

I thought by buying
a Ouija board...

and spurring the guys on
to stir the pot,

we'd get some
sort of spirit action going, and
absolutely nothing has happened.

I'm so ready to be scared.

Come on.

Scare me.

[ Rustling ]

[ Static ]

[ Static ]

[ Static ]

[ Steve ]
Just check in there.

[ Door Opens ]

[ Light Switch Clicks ]

No.

[ Steve ]
He's probably just gone to get
a coffee or something.

Mm-hmm.

It's not an anniversary and
he's gone to get you a gift?

'Cause he forgot?
No.

And he always forgets anyway.

[ Sighs ]
I'll just have to wait until
he gets back then, I suppose.

[ Steve ]
Well, fuck it then.

[ Steve ]
Are you all right?
Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

[ Steve ]
What the fuck?
What is he doing?

What?
Should I wake him up?

Matt?
You okay?

You all right?

[ Steve ]
It's all right, mate.
Fucking hell.

What you doing out here?
[ Steve Chuckles ]

Don't know.

You all right, bud?

Let's get--
You all right?

Mate, come in, come in.
Fucking hell.

What happened?
Don't know.

Have you been filming me
walking around again?

No, mate we've just found you.
Can you turn it off,
please?

We've just been
looking for you.
Fucking hell.

Mate, relax, relax.
Geez.

Are you all right?
No, I feel like shit actually.

Mate, your eyes
look like shit.

Was I walking around
again last night?

[ Chuckling ]
You must have been.

[ Jemma ]
You okay?
[ Steve ] You're the wild card.

You okay?

Not really.
Fucking hell.

Mate, I don't wanna be,
like, crass or owt,

but any chance
I could have the camera
that's on you?

No.
Please?

No can you just leave it
for a second, actually?

I know this is really funny and
everything, can you just not?

Matt, I just wanna know which
direction to send the cleaners.

I'm actually really tired,
and I've got a really
fucking bad headache.

[ Steve ]
Do you wanna get--
Do you want some pills, mate?

God. Fuck off.
Shall I make you
a cup of tea?

I'll get you
some paracetamol.
I'll get you a cup of tea?

[ Locks ]
[ Steve Chuckles ]

Uh, M--
Matt?

[ Knocking ]

Oh, Jem,
we've got the mirror cam.
Check that out. Check that out.

We could check the footage
on that. We've got him anyway.
We don't need it.

I just--
[ Clicks Tongue ]

What?
I don't know how to work
the fucking camera.

I've got about
three and a half hours
of mirror and then nothing.

It just turns off.

I don't know why
he would have turned it off.

How about a little video diary,
hey?

Mm-hmm.
Unrelated video diary,
we'll call it.

Do you like bananas?

Yes.

Cats or dogs?
Dogs.

What do horses eat?

[ Giggles ]
Hay.

What do gay horses eat?

Hay.

I wish you didn't
hate me right now.
I've not done anything.

I don't hate you.

It--

[ Steve ]
Good afternoon.

Afternoon, bro.

You all right?

How you feeling?

Like shit.

[ Steve ]
Did you watch the GoPro?

[ Jemma ]
You did, didn't you?

It's just me sleepwalking
to the balcony.

[ Steve ]
It's what?

It's me sleepwalking
to the balcony.

[ Jemma ]
So why can't we see it?

Why do you need to?

Okay.
You can stop staring now.

Come on, man.
Tell us something exciting.
What happened?

You know what happened.
I don't know what happened.

You're keeping it from me.
Where's the camera?

I need it, man.

[ Jemma ]
I'm gonna go get it.

[ Steve ]
Yeah, go for it.
Where is it? Where is it?

[ Jemma ]
I don't know. He's probably
hidden it somewhere.

You signed up for it, bro.
Can you not?

Don't know why you're being
such a fucking mard ass.

What are you doing?

[ Jemma ]
Where have you put it?
Where have you hidden it?

Can you just leave it?
[ Jemma ] Why?

What?

I've told you what it was.
Like--

Can you just leave it?
[ Steve ]
All right, all right.

We'll get it from you later.

Can you no--
Can you just point
that somewhere else?

[ Steve ]
Did you turn my--
my mirror camera off?

Did you see that happen?

No.

No?

It's not that big a deal, bro.

[ Jemma ]
Yeah, if you turned it off
it's not.

I'm gonna have to stand here.
I didn't--
I told you I didn't.

Is that why you don't want us
to see the GoPro footage?

No.

Guess what.
What?

The circus is in town.

Are we going out?

Suppose I better go
and get changed then.

Yeah, now you're allowed in.
[ Jemma ] In our bedroom.
Our bedroom.

- Just so you know.
- [ Door Slams ]

[ Chuckles ]
It's not funny, man.

Mate, she's
so pissed off at you.

Can you stop pointing that
at me, please?
All right.

Do you wanna go out?
Yeah, man.
Let's go and get a beer.

Let's go out then.

[ Steve Whispering ]
Behind, behind.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

[ Matt ]
Who's in my flat?

If there is anyone in here--

[ Steve ]
Aw, shit, my cameras.
My cameras.

[ Matt ]
Look at the fucking state
of this place.

[ Steve ]
Oh, my God. Thank God.

Mate, let's go, let's go,
let's go.

[ Matt ]
Get the fuck out of my bedroom!
[ Steve ] No?

Mate, be careful.
Just be careful.

[ Matt ]
There's no one in there.
There's no one in there.

[ Sighs ]

Fucking thing.
We could've fucking got them.

[ Steve ] Be fucking careful!
How do I work this thing?
Tell me now.

On the back,
there's a switch.

- Just turn it on. On button.
- Yes. Right.

Fucking stopped.
It fucking stopped.
What am I
supposed to do about that?

Everything's the same,
and then it stops.

Everything is fine,
and then it stops.

You have that thing up
the whole fucking time,

and then the one moment
we actually need it--

I can't believe
it wasn't recording then!

Mate, I set it up
before we set off!
I did!

This has been a fucking
waste of time.
This is ridiculous.

And I'm, like, 90% sure
I closed the fucking door.

Look at the state
of my flat!

Has--
Have you had anything taken?

Jem?

[ Matt ]
You all right, Jem?
Yeah.

You're shouting at each other.

[ Matt ]
I'm so fucking annoyed.
Sorry. I'm so annoyed.

Mate. Mate, come here.
What?

[ Scoffs ]

- Mate, come here.
Come here.
- What?

Don't, don't.

[ Steve ]
There's not a scratch on it.

Is the door shut?
The door is shut, right?

[ Steve ]
We weren't gonna
win the challenge...

with a sleepwalking
best friend, are we?

This makes it real.
This makes it, you know--
This makes it proper.

[ Chuckles ]

Guys, this could be it.

Exhibit A, in our One Million
Dollar Paranormal Challenge
application video.

Mr. James Randi, explain this.

It was a peaceful day.

Are you not done
filming yet?

We arrived
back at our apartment.
The door was ajar.

Everything was fucked.

Burglars, you ask?

No, Mr. Randi.
This is the work... of spirits.

The same spirits have
fucked up my bedroom...

and played havoc
on my best friend.

He's started tidying up.
Can you help now?

Okay, so today was
the worst day ever.

So from now on I want to be...

[ Clicks ]

tooled up,

so that if anything
does go down, we catch it.

Whatever it is.

Bravo.
Oh, hello.

I just wanna make sure
we're covered. We came in today
and the mirror cam was off,

so I want to make sure that
we've got maximum coverage,
you know?

Can I just ask you something?
Yep.

You're not gonna be all kind of
Selfish Jean on the footage,
right?

If something goes down tonight
on the GoPro,
I wanna see it in the morning.

Yeah, but about that, if--
I just wanna say that I'm gonna
watch this first, yeah?

Yeah, if it's embarrassing
I don't need to know about it.

I get that we all wanna
watch it, but it's me.
So I'm gonna watch it first.

Okay, but don't be hiding
no ghosties from me.

Hey, if I see a ghost,
we're all a lot richer so--
Promise?

Yeah, absolutely.
Promise?

Is the mirror cam on?
No, witness it.

Get it on.
I'm gonna turn it on now.

Fully charged
this time, right?

Mate,
it's been fully charged
every night.

Why did you never tell me
you sleptwalked by the way?

I don't know,
Didn't think it was
worth mentioning.

[ Steve Chuckles ]

[ Whispering ]
Show me the ghosties!

[ Static Buzzes ]

[ Electronic Warbling ]

[ Static ]
[ Slow Breathing ]

[ Steve ]
Mate, what you doing?

I'm just looking up--

[ Steve ]
Why have you taken it down?

Well, I just remembered the
stuff that we saw on the back...

and I wanna--
just wanna have a look at it.

[ Steve ] Well, we could be
missing something here, pal.
Right now.

What? What? You're saying
you're researching something?

It's from 1923,
the newspaper.

It's got
from April 23 to 27,
and that's all I've got.

And nothing significant happened
on those dates, before you ask.
Okay.

What about the GoPro
last night? Anything?
No.

Did you sleepwalk?
No.

Did he get out of bed
last night, Jem?

I don't know.
I was asleep.

Oh.
Motherfucker.

[ Dings ]
Have any of you two
touched mirror cam?

Why would we touch
your mirror cam?

No, I'm just asking.
None of you's touched it?

No.

Mate, you haven't, like,
on the GoPro seen yourself
turn it off, have you?

No, I told you
I was asleep last night,
wasn't I? Nothing happened.

I'm sure it works
just as good as that one.

Look, can you see a red light,
Jem?
Yeah.

Red light.
[ Matt ] Yeah, the red light's
on now and it's always on,

but maybe
it turned itself off.
Maybe the battery's broken.

It doesn't--
The battery lasts
eight hours.

Maybe it's the memory card then.
Sixty-four gig.

Maybe there's something wrong
with the internal wiring
that you don't understand!

No, the camera's working.
I don't know what
your problem is...

with taking it to someone
who knows what
they're talking about.

No, it's not broken.
Just go and have it fixed.

Matty, it's a good thing.
It's unexplainable.

I can't explain
why it's not working.

At nighttime only. That's it.
It just switches off.

And if it's not you,
and it's not you...

it's the mirror.

The mirror's turning it off.

Mirror trashed our flat.
Mirror's making him sleepwalk.
Mirror turned my camera off.

It's a good thing!

What?
We're onto something.

Is he not getting laid?
I don't understand.

Can you shut up?
[ Jemma ]
Fuck off, Steve.

I don't understand.
Because seriously,
he's in such a grumpy mood.

Listen, I'm gonna go
out of the flat for an hour.
Good.

I suggest you guys get it on
or something,

because, seriously,
the atmosphere around here
is deadly.

** [ Score ]

[ Steve ]
I don't know about you guys,
right,

but since we got this mirror,
I've had a really bad toothache.

Have you?

Jem?
Yeah?

What would you do, right,
if a ghost just came
and sat down next to you?

Don't know.

Freak out.

What would you do?
What?

If a ghost came
and sat down next to you?

[ Scoffs ]
I'd film it
and win this competition.

You know what would be great?
If every one of them spotlights
just fell down now.

Why would that be great?
[ Cutting Food ]

I don't know.
It'd be great, wouldn't it?
It'd be creepy.

- [ Rapid Chopping ]
- [ Breathing Raggedly ]

Mate, go easy
on the, uh, aubergines.

[ Knife Clatters ]

You all right, mate?

[ Jemma ]
Matt?

What's wrong?
What?

Jem?
Yeah?

Look at this.
Look at what?

What do you mean?
It's a massacre.

I mean, my little sister can
chop shit better than that.
Look what he's done.

[ Jemma ]
Matt, please talk to me.

[ Footsteps Running ]

[ Jemma Whispering ]
Steve, Steve!
Wake up.

What? What is it?

What is it?
He's got a knife.

Who's got a knife?
[ Crying ]
Who do you think?

- Matt--
- Matt's got a fucking knife.

Move away, move away.

- Steve, be careful.
Be careful.
- It'll be all right.

- Be careful.
- I'll be all right.

Fucking hell.

Matt?

Matty?

[ Sighs ]
Oh, my God.
[ Wind Blowing ]

- He's not here.
- [ Jemma ] What?

Oh, my God.

Is he not in there anymore?

No, just stay there,
stay there.

Fucking idiot.
Where is he?

- [ Jemma ] He's--
- He's in bed.

[ Jemma ]
What?
He's in bed.

[ Steve ]
What are you talking about?

What do you mean
what am I talking about?

Were you dreaming or what?
He's in bed.

Oh, you never
take me seriously,
do you, Steve?

All right, no.
All right, all right.

Why would I just make up
that he had a fucking knife
in the kitchen?

[ Sniffling ]
I'm sorry, all right.
Let's get out of here.

Fucking hell.

Look, listen.
Just stay in here,
stay in here.

I'll sleep near the door
and I just--
just won't let him in.

[ Matt ]
Hello?

You up?
[ Steve ]
Yeah, yeah, hold the phone.

What?
Hold the phone.

[ Matt ]
Why are you sat
in front of the door?

[ Steve ] Frankly, pal,
we're a touch nervous.
Can you open it?

Yeah, will you just confirm
you've got nothing on you?

[ Matt ]
What?

I don't--
I don't even know
what to say here.

[ Sighs ]

What the hell?

Mate, I don't even know
where to start.

Love, are you all right?

Just leave her mate.
Just leave it, leave it.

Okay, what?

[ Steve ]
I'm not gonna mention
the fact...

you're not allowed
in the kitchen anymore.
Shh, shh.

Steve, Steve!
Wake up!

[ Steve ]
What? What is it?

- What is it?
- He's got a knife.

- Who's got a knife?
- [ Crying ]
Who do you think?

- Matt--
- Matt's got
a fucking knife.

Move away, move away.

- Steve, be careful.
Be careful.
- It'll be all right.

[ Steve ] Don't go
out of your way to apologize,
all right, pal?

[ Scoffs ]
It's not like I did it
on purpose, is it?

We can't have you walking around
with knives in your hand.
No.

Are you really filming this?

Might be good to just go
over it, you know what I mean,
after we've won.

We'll laugh at it.

It's not really that funny,
is it?

Me standing around with knives?
We're not
laughing now, pal. No.

And you guys
just leaving me there.
[ Steve ] It was deadly serious.

Yeah, it was.

And what, I do that
and you just... go to sleep?

No, he came and got the knives
out of the kitchen.

Yeah, we had a really nice
peaceful night's sleep.

What the fuck
are you talking about?
Great, good for you.

Did we, heck?

I slept in a sleeping bag.
It was moldy.

How did you know
I wasn't gonna get up again?

[ Steve ]
I'm not gonna watch you
all night, pal.

Well, it seems like
you ought to.

Have you got the footage
from your GoPro? Maybe you
can watch what you did next?

[ Steve ]
Have you watched the GoPro
this morning?

Have you?

I don't understand
why you're being so mysterious
all of a sudden.

Because it-- I'm--

We're not hiding anything
from you, pal.

We're telling you straight up.
There's a video of you
with a knife last night.

Yeah, and then you went to bed,
and you left me there,
who knows to do what next.

He came and got the knives
from the kitchen--

Yeah, but it's not
just the knives is it?
It could be anything.

So what, we--
Do you want us to
lock you in a room?

Yeah.
[ Steve ]
We can't be doing--

That's what
I would have done
if it was one of you guys.

Look, I made sure
you were safe and sound.

No, you didn't.
You just left me there.

I didn't, mate.
You've no idea what I did.

But you've seen me wake up
out on the balcony.

One more step
and I'm off it.

I come back
to the kitchen to--

I don't know,
turn on all the hobs,
or burn myself.

There's plenty of
other sharp objects
apart from fucking knives.

There's a billion ways
I could hurt myself
in this flat.

You were asleep
on the bed
when we came back.

He got the knives--
Yeah, but what if
I get up again?

I moved one of your arms
'cause it looked uncomfortable.

Great.

That's kind of not
what I'm worried about.

[ Steve ]
I'm still not clear on
if you're supposed...

to wake up people
sleepwalking or not.

I'm not.

You are just
a million miles away...

from understanding
what it's like
to be me right now.

I'm being really
understanding, I thought.
No, you're not.

[ Steve ]
I think I'm
the calmest one here.

I don't think
you're taking this seriously.
I'm taking it--

Am I the only person
that cares that he was
stood there with a knife?

[ Steve ] I went out for him!
Well, I'd like
to believe that.

I went out for him!
Yeah, and you're just cracking
jokes left, right and center.

It's a serious situation,
Steve.

I'm fucking in your room
scared shitless.

You clearly don't give a shit.
He's more concerned
about himself.

Yes, I am concerned
about myself!

Listen, whoa.
We've got neighbors.
Well, let's be honest.

You sleepwalking is probably
the best thing we've got
in this application, isn't it?

Listen,
if I was sleepwalking--
Is that what you want?

Do you want me to go
and do loads of crazy shit
on camera for you?

You've seen me
pissing on the floor.
That's really funny.

Do you want me to piss on
the camera? Do you want me
to piss on your face?

What are you talking about?
Do you want me to go
in the kitchen again,

get a load of knives out,
stab myself, cut my wrists,
slit my throat,

bathe the whole fucking place
in my blood?

Would that be
really good for you?
Is that what you wanna send?

Look at your
distraught girlfriend,

who's in the kitchen
wondering what the fuck
went down last night.

[ Jemma ]
What we gonna do,
Matt?

What are you suggesting
that we do?

I think we need a bit
of a group hug or something
just to fucking--

All right! Stop it.

[ Sighs ]
Stop pointing it at me.
Turn it off.

If you don't
switch that thing off,

I'm gonna throw it
off the balcony
and you along with it.

[ Door Opens ]

[ Steve ]
He's here.

I knew you'd remember, mate.
I knew it.
It's quiz night, right?

Matt?

You've remembered,
haven't you?

[ Jemma ]
He's gonna ignore us.
Cool, brilliant.

Mate, come on.
Hey, no,
I need my charger.

Matt, I need my charger.

I need my charger.

Matt--
For fuck's sake!

Fine.
I won't charge my phone.

[ Steve ]
I don't know what to suggest.
Matt.

Matt,
Jemma's got her boobs out.

She's dancing
with her boobs out.

** [ Man On Radio, Faint ]
I could get
all my deodorant.

Smoke him out
underneath the door.

Like a fox--
just smoke him out.

What if we turned off
the electricity?

Then he wouldn't be able
to watch his laptop.

There you go.

We could tell him, like,
tonight's the only night
he can see Neptune...

and he has to
get his telescope out
and look at Neptune.

[ Chuckles ]

We could pretend
we were having sex.

No, he'd just
come out and kill us,

and that wouldn't be
for the best.

We could--
Oh, you could tell him--

I could tell him
that you've left him,
that you've just gone.

I don't think he'd care,
Steve.

Oh, come on.
Of course he'd care.

I really don't think
he would.

Of course he would.
Don't say that.

He's just--

He's just in a bad mood.

Hmm.

Of course he'd care.

Of course he would.

Stupid.

Come out, you fucker.

Matthew!

Yes.

[ Camera Beeps ]

[ Beeping ]

[ Beeps ]

[ Scraping ]

[ Gasps ]
Jem. Jem, it's Matt.

He's trying to fucking get in.

Fuck.

What if he's got
a knife, Steve?
Fuck.

Jemma,
let's move this thing.
What?

Let's just move
the bedside table.

Quickly.

[ Steve ]
Oh, fuck. Fuck.

Matt!

[ Pounding ]
Go away!

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Fuck.
Fuck, what was that?
What is that?

Matt. Matty, boy.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Fuck. Fuck. What was that?

What is that?
Matt? Matty, boy.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck, why is he
fucking doing this?

Matt? Jem.

[ Camera Clicks ]
[ Siren Blaring, Faint ]

[ Train Rumbling, Faint ]

[ Footsteps Approaching,
Faint ]

[ Train Grows Louder ]

[ Spray Hissing ]

[ Man Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Footsteps ]

[ Steve Whispering ]
His door's open.
Shh!

[ Hinges Creaking ]

[ Whispering ]
Where the fuck has he been?

We're gonna have
to start locking him in
from this side of the door.

How can we lock him
from this side
of the door? How?

I don't know--
The door opens that way.

[ Pounding ]
[ Squeals ]

- Jesus on wheels!
- Oh, my God.

That just scared
the shit out of me.

Oh, my God.

[ Groans ]

It's all right.
It's all right.
I've got you.

Oh, my God.

No.

No!

For fuck's sake.

You--
[ Clattering ]

[ Steve ]
It was him.

How many times
did I fucking ask him
did he turn it off?

No, he didn't.
Matt, get out here now, mate!

Get out, you fucking liar.

"I didn't turn it off."
Yeah, you did,
you little prick!

Fucking knew it!

You lying son of a bitch!

Open this door, pal, right now.

[ Mutters ]

[ Steve Whispering ]
He's having a shower.

Yeah?
He's having a shower.

Yeah, let's go and get it.
Let's go get the GoPro.

Yeah, the GoPro.

[ Water Running ]

Fuck!

Steve. Steve.
Show me. Show me.

[ Muttering ]

What the fuck would he have
done with it?

Check it.

[ Steve ]
Holy shit. Matt--
Matt, you all right?

Matt, what's going on?
[ Jemma ]
Matt? Matt?

Oh, fuck.

Look at his eyes, Steve.
Look at his eyes.

I can't see.
[ Steve ]
Holy shit.

[ Jemma ]
Are you okay?
I can't see anything.

[ Jemma, Steve ]
Matt? Matt? Matt?

Matt. Matt.
[ Steve ]
What can't you see?

Can you see this?
Can you see that?
I can't see anything.

I can't see anything!
Can you see that?

I can't see anything!

Matt,
do you want some water?

[ Steve ]
Hey, buddy.

[ Jemma ]
Please have some water, Matt.

You need to try
and close them if you can, Matt.

Just rest up.
He won't eat. He won't drink.

If you need anything
mate, just-- just
let us know, all right?

Be back in a minute pal.
Don't worry.

[ Jemma ]
I don't know what to do.
It's all right.

It's not okay, Steve.

He can't see. He's not eating.

He's not drank anything.
He's just sat in bed.
[ Steve, Faint ]

We don't even know
where he's been,

what he's been up to,
what's happened to him.

[ Whispering ]
At least he's not freaking out.
He's calm.

He just needs to rest his eyes.
He just needs to calm down.

He can't see.
This is serious.

It might start coming back.
I don't know.
Need to do something.

I think maybe you should
suggest that he needs
to get some help.

Go in and ask him.
Fine.

Just do it calmly.
Okay.

Don't freak out.

You've got to stay clam
for him.

Matt? Matt.

[ Steve ] Mate, you need
to get back in bed, pal.
Get out.

Matt, let's get you
back into bed.
Get out.

Let's get back into bed.
Get out.

Let's get you back into bed.
Get out. Get out!

Get out!
Please get--

Fine.
Get out!

[ Steve ]
We're out. We're out.
We're out.

Fuck.
[ Sobs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Voice Cracking ]
Fine.

I know you can hear me.

Please come out.

Please.

[ Sobs ]

Matt, I love you.
Please come out.

Well, if he's not out
by tomorrow,

we'll get him some help.

Yeah.

[ Ragged Breathing ]

[ Ragged Breathing
Continues ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Floor Creaking ]

[ Camera Beeps, Whirs ]

[ Camera Clicks ]
[ Heart Beating ]

[ Squishing ]

[ Object Plops ]

[ Squishing ]

[ Object Plops ]

[ Ragged Breathing ]

[ Dog Barking, Faint ]

[ Footsteps ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Gagging, Gurgling ]

[ Gagging, Gurgling Continue ]

[ Squishing ]

[ Ragged Breathing ]

[ Siren Blaring, Faint ]

[ Hinges Squeak ]

[ Steve Whispering ]
Do you want me to go first?
Yeah.

Now check in there.

[ Jemma Whispering ]
Steve?
Yeah?

What?
Your camera's on the floor.

There's blood on the camera.

There.
Holy shit.

He's taken
my memory cards out, Jem.

Oh, fuck.
He's taken the cards.

He's gone.

[ Woman On TV ]
I wanted to be there
for Lucas, as a friend.

I didn't know
he still had those feelings.

** [ Speakers: Pop ]

Thank you very much. Yeah.

Wonderful.

Bye-bye.

[ Jemma ]
Still nothing?

[ Inhales ]

Fuckin' pointless.

They've not heard anything.

Even if he was just wandering
the streets blind, right,

someone's gonna just say,
"Excuse me, you look blind.

Do you want a fucking hand?"
Or something.
Yeah.

Unless he's lying
in a ditch.

He's not lying in a ditch.
Just stop being
so grim about it.

Just stop it, like.

Stop being grim?

Well, he's not lying
in a fucking ditch, is he?

He could be lying in a ditch.
That's the reality.

Why?
Because he can't see anything.

Right, well, if I was blind
I'm just gonna go,

"Oh, there's a ditch.
I'm just gonna fucking
lie in it"?

No, you power on.
You power through
if you're in a fucking struggle.

And he's not sleepwalking now.
He must have come round.

You can't fucking sleepwalk
for that long.

Someone's found him,
and he's safe and he's fine,

and maybe he just can't
fucking communicate
or something.

He's just--
[ Sighs ]

Maybe he just needs
a break from all this
fucking mirror shit.

I told him if he couldn't
handle it he didn't have
to fucking do it.

You've done better
than he has.

[ Steve ]
You need to see this.
You found something?

You won't believe it.
[ Mutters ]

It's the second
we opened the mirror.

Oh, Steve,
I don't wanna watch this.
What?

No, no, no.
Jem, just watch it.
I don't wanna watch this.

Jem, please,
just watch this.
Is this a fucking joke?

I'm not joking, no.

Jem, I know it's upsetting.
I'm sorry, but you need
to see this.

Jem. Jem, just watch.
Just watch.

The second you guys
open the mirror--
the second--

what does Matt do?
[ Sighs ]

He rubs his eyes, Jem.

The fucking second
the mirror arrives,

his eyes got fucked up,
right?

And I've got it
on tape--

the first fucking bit
of proof that connects
to him going a bit weird.

He starts rubbing his eyes
straight away.

Steve, you've got him
rubbing his eye.

Yeah, but Jem,
it's the second
he fucking opens the thing.

It doesn't prove anything,
Steve.

It's better
than nothing, Jem!
It's better than nothing.

He's gone.
He's gone missing.
He's dead.

Let's just--
Yeah, let's just go to bed.
He's dead.

Matt's dead.

Forget about it.
Yeah, he's just got sore eyes.

[ Steve ]
Oh, Jem.

Oh, babe, come here.

[ Sobbing ]
Come here.

It's okay.
It's all right.

It's okay.
[ Sniffles ]

Come here.

What are you doing?

I miss him, Steve.

[ Jemma Sniffles ]

I'll go to bed.

[ Ragged Breathing ]

** [ Speakers: Pop, Faint ]

Jem?

What does that say?

[ Steve ]
It fucking says his name.

Jem, the mirror chose him.

It's a mirror.
It can't choose people,
Steve.

It chose him.

I don't know what else to say.
It's his name on the back.

He was chosen.

No, it doesn't mean
he... got chosen
by a mirror.

That's ridiculous.

No. No, he's coming back.

It's nothing to do
with the mirror.

I think
we should cover it up.

I think we should
put something over it.

It just makes me
feel uncomfortable.

[ Steve ]
It's gone. All right?

Out of sight, out of mind,
just forget about it, just--

We'll just have to wait
till he comes back.

[ Static,
Electronic Warbling ]

[ Door Buzzing ]

** [ Speakers: Pop, Faint ]

[ Buzzing Continues,
Muffled ]

[ Buzzing Continues ]

[ Buzzing Continues ]

I think it's Matt.

Holy shit.
I'll go get him,
I'll go get and him.

[ Door Opens ]
Matt?

Matt?

[ Steve Sighs ]

[ Door Shuts ]

[ Footsteps ]

There's no one there.

There's no one there.

[ Sighs ]

[ Steve Gasps ]

Fuck a duck.

[ Jemma ]
I think I've heard Matt.

What?
I think I've heard Matt.

Whereabouts?

Whereabouts?

He's in the flat?

I heard Matt's voice.

[ Steve ]
Hello? Matty?

There's nothing here, Jem.

Gone.

He's gone.

Are you dreaming?

[ Jemma Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]
Jemma?

Oh, St--
[ Screaming ]

Jem?
[ Screaming ]

[ Sobbing ]
Jem, it's me.

What are you doing?

Oh, my God.
[ Sobbing Continues ]

Jem?
What are you doing?

Give it to me.
Give it to me.
Give it to me.

Give it to me.
I've got it.

It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.

I'll be back in a second.

Fucking hell.
Shit.

[ Sobbing Continues ]

It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.

[ Groaning, Sobbing ]
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

** [ Speakers: Pop, Faint ]

I'm going to bed.

Okay.

I'll sort that.
I'll sort that.

Thanks.

Thank you.

[ Steve ]
Hello?

[ Whispering ]
Sorry. Were you asleep?

No?

How are you doing?

All right?
Yeah.

Ah, it's just coming away there.

[ Gasps ]
Oh, sorry.

Sorry.
It was just coming away.

You gonna be all right
by yourself, yeah?

[ Murmurs ]

Okay.

Sleep well.

I'm gonna turn
the lights out, yeah?

Night, night.
Night.

See you in the morning.

[ Gasps ]

[ Groans ]
What the fuck?

Fuck. Fucking hell.

What the fuck?

[ Groans ]

Matt?

Matt, is that you?

Mate, I never thought I'd--

I didn't think
I'd be seeing you again.

[ Ragged Breathing ]

I'm so sorry
about all this, mate.

I don't mind that you--
that you scratched me.

Fucking hell, pal.
What's wrong with your hands?

Matt, where's--
Where's Jem?

[ Stammers ]
Jemma?

[ Coughs ]
Jemma!

[ Steve Sniffles ]

Oh, fuck.

[ Voice Cracking ]
Jemma.

[ Muttering ]

I'm going fucking crazy.

[ Sobbing ]
Jemma!

Jemma?

[ Ragged Breathing ]

Jem?

[ Sniffles ]

Jemma?

Where are you?

Oh, God.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Jemma.

[ Sobbing, Sniffling ]

This can't be happening.

Jem?

Jemma!

[ Knife Clinks ]
[ Steve Gasps ]

[ Breathing Raggedly ]

[ Sobbing ]

[ Thuds ]

[ Static ]