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1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:02,434
- Hello, dears.
2
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:04,069
- Hey, marie.
- Hey.
3
00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:06,405
- Oh, debra,
I need my big spoon back.
4
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:08,040
I'm making cakes.
5
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,408
- Oh, sure.
For the bake sale?
6
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,310
- For the bake sale?
7
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:15,614
Let's be honest.
My cakes are the bake sale.
8
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,449
- I'm making cupcakes this year.
9
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:23,088
- Oh, I think that's sweet
you're trying to help.
10
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,090
I wouldn't make too many.
11
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:28,360
Okay, that's it.
12
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,429
I just needed my big spoon.
13
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:32,631
Thanks.
Back to baking.
14
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,099
Oh, and I'm gonna
send your father over.
15
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:35,300
Okay, good-bye.
16
00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:37,302
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What?
17
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,204
Why is he coming over here?
18
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,041
Because I have to concentrate,
and I can't have him there.
19
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,742
- Well, I don't want him here.
20
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:47,780
Yesterday, he was showing the
kids how to burp out a candle.
21
00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:49,181
- That's why I want him out.
22
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,416
I'm working with food.
23
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:53,786
It's a matter of public health.
24
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:55,788
Oh, please.
25
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,624
I do a lot
of babysitting for you.
26
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,261
- Yeah, but our kids
don't curse as much.
27
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:10,235
- Ally, why don't you go
to the park with grandpa?
28
00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,805
- No, thanks.
29
00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:16,575
- Raymond,
why don't you take him
30
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,444
To one of your sports games?
31
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:21,780
- I'm not taking him to any
of my sports games, okay?
32
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,182
Besides,
the only football around
33
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:24,183
Is hofstra and northeastern.
34
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:25,851
They're both 0-7.
35
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:29,221
It's like watchin' the kids
have a tickle fight.
36
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,457
- Well, your father already
has his outside pants on,
37
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,125
So I'm sending him over.
38
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,327
- No!
Come on, ma.
39
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,362
- Hey, hey.
What's shakin', everybody?
40
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,831
- Hey.
Hey, robert.
41
00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,599
Who do you like
in the big game today?
42
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,167
- What big game?
43
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:44,770
- Hofstra and northeastern.
Where ya been?
44
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:47,206
Tss...
Huh?
45
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:54,279
- What's with that?
46
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,551
- I really haven't been
following hofstra.
47
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,386
- What, are you kidding me?
This is their year.
48
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:02,721
And northeastern?
49
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:05,524
It's like
clash of the titans today.
50
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,658
- Yeah?
51
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,460
- You want to go
or not?
52
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,330
- Really?
53
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,865
- He doesn't want to go.
54
00:02:12,867 --> 00:02:14,600
- No, no, no. I'll go.
I'll go. I want to go.
55
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:17,269
- All right.
Good.
56
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:19,838
- Okay, great.
Go get dad and go.
57
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,541
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait.
58
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,809
Me and dad?
59
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,277
- That's right, dear.
60
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,213
There's gonna be
a big tickle fight.
61
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,219
- All right, you know what?
62
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,687
If you want to beat the traffic,
you better get goin'.
63
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,422
- Well, what?
You're not comin'?
64
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,825
- I wish. I wish.
I can't catch a break.
65
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:43,662
I got to work on
the frickin' bake sale all day.
66
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:44,730
Witchy-poo has got me
67
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:49,268
Frosting up the cupcakes
all day.
68
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:52,571
- Ah, the perils
of marriage, huh?
69
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:53,839
That's too bad, raymond.
70
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:56,208
Well, I'll be thinking
about ya.
71
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:59,778
- I'll be thinking about you.
72
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:02,214
Sucker!
73
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,919
- Witchy-poo?
74
00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:08,720
- Yeah.
That was great.
75
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,289
The face that you made
when I said it,
76
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,757
It was perfect, yeah.
77
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,760
Yeah, just like that, yeah.
78
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:17,496
Okay, you can stop now.
79
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,914
- Go with dad to the game.
80
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:40,419
Why do you hate me?
81
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,653
- What's on your shirt?
82
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:44,990
- Nacho cheese.
83
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:47,926
- My introduction, please.
84
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,362
- You want to see
what you did?
85
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,397
- Just introduce me!
86
00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:01,573
- Lynn swann, jerry rice,
and now frank barone.
87
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,879
- What,
you bought a football?
88
00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,715
- No bought--
caught.
89
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:10,949
Robert.
90
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,484
- Hey, look,
I did your intro, dad.
91
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,986
I'm done.
92
00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:15,721
- Hey, you were a witness
to glory.
93
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:18,557
History demands
your testimony.
94
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,992
- What happened?
95
00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:23,695
- Well, first of all,
in spite of the hype,
96
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:28,934
Today's game
was not a great matchup.
97
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,003
- Come on, really?
98
00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:33,572
- But at the end,
this kid from hofstra
99
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,507
Kicks an unbelievable
field goal.
100
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,376
- 68 yards.
101
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,577
- 68-yard field goal?
102
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:41,446
- Yep, the longest ever,
college or pro.
103
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:47,986
Come on, robert, tell it
like you're not a gelding.
104
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,788
- Well, we had seats
behind the end zone,
105
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,923
And dad got lucky.
106
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,759
- Luck is the residue
of design.
107
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,060
- What?
108
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,462
- Shut up.
You should've seen it.
109
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,897
It was a rocket.
110
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,699
I got my hands ready
for it.
111
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,702
- By dumping
his nachos somewhere.
112
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:06,338
- It came towards me.
113
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,073
Everyone was trying to get
their mitts on it,
114
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,841
But I put the moves
on all of them.
115
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,977
I jumped over a guy.
116
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:15,881
- You pushed a kid
out of the way.
117
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,083
- I jumped over a guy.
118
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,751
It was coming in high.
119
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,420
I had to stretch for it.
120
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,022
I could get only one hand on it,
but that was enough.
121
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:27,926
I brought that little piggy
right down into my chest.
122
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,495
Hello, little piggy.
123
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,501
- And then he went,
"whee-whee-whee,"
124
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,738
All the way home.
125
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,374
- It was the biggest moment ever
in hofstra history,
126
00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:43,842
And I have it.
127
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:47,579
You should have heard
the crowd chanting for me.
128
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,648
- Give it back, jerk!
129
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,917
Give it back, jerk!
130
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,519
- And booing.
131
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,821
- Wait, dad, dad.
132
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,889
Hofstra's got to want
that ball back.
133
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,392
- You bet your ass they do.
134
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:02,461
I had to put the razzle-dazzle
on a couple of mooks
135
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:04,629
Just to get out of the stands.
136
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:07,799
- Frank, that's a record
for the school.
137
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,135
You know it's not right
to keep that, don't you?
138
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,837
- Don't bother, deb.
139
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,040
His soul was removed
to make room for more stomach.
140
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,717
- A fan
is supposed to do
141
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,619
What's best
for the team.
142
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:28,720
- That's what's so great
about this--
143
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:33,024
I'm not a fan.
144
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:35,927
Those kids stink.
145
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:39,731
Except for the kicker.
Thanks, pal!
146
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,900
- Charming, no?
147
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,702
- Hey, dad,
I'd give the ball back.
148
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,438
- Then it's a good thing
you didn't catch it.
149
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,640
Come on, robert.
- Where are we going?
150
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:51,042
- To the lodge
to tell the story.
151
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:54,012
You go in before me
and build me up.
152
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:58,016
I don't like to toot
my own horn.
153
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:01,686
- No, no, I'm not comfortable
with that.
154
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,021
- Oh, yeah?
155
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:06,691
How was living
in my house for 40 years?
156
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:09,694
Was that comfortable?
157
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,897
- All right.
All right.
158
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,466
- I believe you were comfortable
eating my food,
159
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,201
Watching my tv,
160
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,069
Wearing the springs
out of my furniture
161
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,705
With your two-ton rump.
162
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,677
- All right!
163
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,822
- Raymond?
164
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,824
Taste this.
165
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:43,728
- Good.
166
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,130
- How good?
167
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,798
How much would you pay
for this whole cake
168
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,866
At the bake sale?
169
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,202
- Uh, $10?
170
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,471
- $10?
171
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,473
- All right.
172
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:58,076
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
173
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:59,978
$1,000.
174
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:04,049
- You're such a sweet boy.
175
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,784
- How much would you pay
for my cupcakes?
176
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:08,653
- A million dollars.
177
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,888
- Where's the radio?
Where's the radio?
178
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,723
- What, what?
What's going on?
179
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:14,159
- I heard it driving over.
They're talking about dad.
180
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,260
- Who is?
181
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,828
- The sports show!
182
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,230
- Oh, no!
183
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,198
- Hey, you want to know
what that guy is?
184
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,700
I'll tell ya,
he's a jackass.
185
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:25,770
they are talking about him.
186
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:27,939
- Oh, man,
you should've seen this guy--
187
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,975
Bulldozes a kid
gettin' the ball.
188
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:36,081
Then he hightails it
out of there with some big goon.
189
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:39,651
- Hey, he was my ride!
190
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:40,952
- This is embarrassing.
191
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,088
It never ends
with your father.
192
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,923
- Boy, hot topic.
Lines are lit up.
193
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,858
Let's go to frank
in lynbrook.
194
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,695
- Yeah, this is the jackass.
195
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:53,532
I caught that ball,
and anybody who doesn't like it
196
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,101
Can kiss me
between the back pockets.
197
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,603
- Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
198
00:08:58,605 --> 00:08:59,905
- Wait a minute.
199
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,206
You're telling us
you're the guy?
200
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,275
- Damn straight.
201
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:04,943
- And you're proud
of what you did?
202
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,311
- You bet I am!
203
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,079
- So what, you think
you deserve the ball?
204
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,281
You're gonna keep it?
205
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,550
- No, I'll give it back...
206
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,752
For ten grand.
207
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,687
- What's wrong with him?
What is wrong with him?
208
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,023
- $10,000.
209
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:20,825
- The bidding starts
at $10,000, yes.
210
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,161
- Unbelievable.
211
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,162
- So, dave on line one,
what do you think?
212
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,830
- What do I think?
213
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:29,701
I think this frank
deserves to be kicked 68 yards.
214
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:33,838
- Finally, a voice of reason.
215
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,240
- Frank, you're telling me
216
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,042
Ron fernandez
doesn't deserve the ball?
217
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,778
- Who the hell
is ron fernandez?
218
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,781
- The player
who kicked the field goal.
219
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:46,651
- Well, his money's
as good as anyone else's.
220
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:49,988
- Why do you let him
use the phone?
221
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,591
- I got an idea--
all you whiners
222
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,858
Who think this kid
should have the ball
223
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,226
Can take up a collection
224
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:58,296
And send it to frank barone,
entrepreneur.
225
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,999
- Oh, no.
I can't believe he said that!
226
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:04,035
- I know, "entrepreneur."
227
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,870
- No, barone!
Barone!
228
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:07,639
He used
our last name!
229
00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,808
- This is gonna drive down
the price of my cakes.
230
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,242
- Wait a minute.
Barone?
231
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,745
Any relation to ray barone,
the sportswriter?
232
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:17,215
- No! No!
233
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,017
- Sure, he's my son.
234
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,285
- Noooooooo!
235
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,722
- Oh, my cake!
My cake!
236
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,924
- Did you hear
what he said?
237
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,161
How could he say that?
238
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,963
- Oh, that explains it.
239
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,298
Oh, I hate that guy's column.
240
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,400
He thinks he's so funny.
He blows!
241
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,801
- Hey.
242
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:42,807
- Man,
I should be taping this.
243
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,275
- All right, we got to take
a quick break.
244
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,710
Frank, we got
a whole bunch of callers
245
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:46,711
Who want to talk to you.
246
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:48,113
Can you stay with us?
247
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,648
- I'd love to,
but I got to hit the head,
248
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:53,318
And the cord
won't reach that far.
249
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,388
- And on that lovely note,
we'll be right back.
250
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:04,362
- Frank?
251
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:08,366
I made you a snack.
252
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:12,037
- Thank you.
253
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:16,007
- Oh, frank, hold the sandwich
with two hands like a person.
254
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,276
- I'm all right.
255
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:30,822
- So, um...
256
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:33,725
Frank, what do you say
we turn off the tv...
257
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:35,994
Chi-chi?
258
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,096
- What are you doing?
259
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,731
- What do you think
I'm doing?
260
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,766
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
you been drinkin'?
261
00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:43,001
- No!
262
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:44,235
- Hey, what are you doin'?
263
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,403
- I'm takin' this ball
264
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,771
Back to hofstra,
where it belongs.
265
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:49,708
- You floozy!
266
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:50,875
You're not goin' anywhere!
267
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,410
- Oh, yes, I am!
268
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:55,046
- Just give me that ball back,
and nobody gets hurt.
269
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,314
- Now! Now!
270
00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,085
- Okay!
271
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,386
Hey, the door is locked!
272
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,821
What did you lock
the door for?
273
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,489
Ah!
274
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,826
- Okay!
- I'm open, ma!
275
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,394
- Let me go!
Let me go!
276
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,996
Let me go,
you witches!
277
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,736
- Robert, throw it!
278
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,939
Robert, throw it!
279
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:41,793
- Sorry!
280
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,495
- Idiot!
281
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,384
- Ha-ha!
- Get out of here, dad!
282
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:10,088
- You should lock your doors.
It's a bad neighborhood.
283
00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:17,862
- Hey, deb,
I'm really sorry.
284
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,965
- I managed to throw the ball
very well.
285
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:26,237
- Well, I thought ray was
cuttin' back toward the window.
286
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:29,407
- A closed window?
287
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:30,909
- Well, I couldn't tell
it was closed.
288
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,912
The glass looked very clean.
289
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:39,551
- All right, nobody
believes you anymore, robert.
290
00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:41,820
- Oh, hey, listen.
291
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:43,822
I think I got somethin' here
that's gonna take care of dad.
292
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,423
- Are those the papers
to have him committed?
293
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,091
- Yeah.
294
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:49,194
Ha-ha, very funny.
Okay.
295
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,929
This is my column
for tomorrow morning.
296
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,463
You know what?
Let me read it to you.
297
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,265
It'll be good to get
a perspective from people
298
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,500
Who read my column every day.
299
00:14:02,274 --> 00:14:03,508
Ohh.
300
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,176
You're kidding me.
301
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,045
You don't read my column?
302
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:11,382
- It's just that
it's always about sports.
303
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,017
- What about you?
304
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:18,623
- I used to read it a lot
when we were dating.
305
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,326
- I get the times.
306
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:27,398
- Just listen!
307
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,468
"my father is the reason
I became a sportswriter.
308
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,071
"growing up, he took me
to every game he could,
309
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:35,440
"teaching me to appreciate
the thrill of competition,
310
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,008
"the grace of athletes,
311
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:40,078
"and the wonder
of a properly topped hot dog.
312
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,647
"but sadly, my father
has become a symbol
313
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,216
"of what is wrong
with sports today.
314
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,951
"my father is frank barone,
315
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:50,555
"who is now holding a football
for ransom,
316
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,323
"hoping to squeeze out
a couple of dollars
317
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,392
"and a few minutes
in the limelight.
318
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,593
"I see now
that my father and I
319
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,129
"no longer share
the same idea of sports
320
00:14:58,131 --> 00:15:01,666
"or, for that matter, life.
321
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:04,369
"and because he'll never
apologize, I'll do it.
322
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:08,106
"sorry, ron fernandez.
Sorry, hofstra university.
323
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:11,209
"sorry, sports fans everywhere.
You deserve better.
324
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:14,445
We all do."
325
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,446
So?
326
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,447
- Wow.
327
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,682
- Not bad.
328
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:21,152
I should read your stuff
more often.
329
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,922
- It's beautifully written
and so honest.
330
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,189
- Mm-hmm.
331
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,525
What are you doing?
Give me that!
332
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,294
You just said
that it was good!
333
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,162
- It's exceptional,
but you can't print that.
334
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,197
You don't attack
your family in public.
335
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:34,565
- What are you talking about?
336
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,935
You took a swing at him
at the mall last week.
337
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,269
- That's different.
338
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,940
He was doing skits
in the lingerie store.
339
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,107
- All right, ma,
look.
340
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,176
He has to publish this,
all right?
341
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,945
Dad is a menace,
and he's got to be stopped.
342
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,479
- See?
343
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:53,618
- I'm with you
all the way, brother.
344
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,687
- Ray, your mom
has a point.
345
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:58,690
- Oh, my god.
346
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:01,259
- I mean, I just don't think
this is gonna get the ball back.
347
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:02,593
- What do you want to do,
348
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:08,566
Draw up another play
for fran tarkenton here?
349
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,734
- This is just
gonna make frank
350
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,170
Dig his heels in
even more.
351
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,571
- Think of our family,
raymond.
352
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:16,274
It'll only destroy
our harmony.
353
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,344
- Harmony?
354
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:20,578
Are you hearing this?
355
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,714
- Are you?
Because she's right.
356
00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:26,985
- What?
What happened to this?
357
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,087
- I still got it.
358
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:34,459
It's just over here now.
359
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,327
- You know what?
360
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,695
I don't care what you think,
all right?
361
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,530
People have to know
that I am not like him.
362
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,399
- Oh, really?
363
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,768
Okay, 'cause I thought this
was about getting the ball back,
364
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:44,769
But if you just want
to clear your name,
365
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,337
Then this will do it.
366
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,772
You should definitely
publish it, then.
367
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:51,142
- Don't try and pull
that "tell me to do it
368
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:54,312
So I don't do it"
flippity-floo, okay?
369
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,513
I'm gonna do it.
370
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,681
You think this
is gonna stop me?
371
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,449
All I need
is a piece of tape.
372
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,018
No. I can just
print it up again.
373
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,019
Yeah, that's what I'll do.
Yeah.
374
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,787
Hey, you know what?
375
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,456
I'm gonna make it even stronger.
There's stuff that I left out.
376
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,358
That's the power
of the press, people.
377
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,793
And don't any of you
try to stop me,
378
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,729
Or I'll write somethin'
about you.
379
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,203
- What kind of stuff
you think he'd write?
380
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,638
- Don't worry about it,
robert.
381
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,641
- I had a slight
bed-wetting problem.
382
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,731
- Hey, dad,
you down here?
383
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,467
Hey.
384
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,069
- What do you want?
385
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,737
- Look, I tried
a lot of different things
386
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,338
To get you to do
what's right, all right?
387
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,140
I was even gonna publish
an article about you,
388
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:57,442
But some people thought
389
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,577
It would screw up
our family harmony.
390
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,779
So I'm gonna
try somethin' else.
391
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,181
- Family harmony?
392
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,649
- Yeah, I don't know.
393
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:09,821
All right, guys,
come on down.
394
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,756
Come on.
Come on down. It's okay.
395
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:15,193
- What the hell is this?
396
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,861
- This is ron fernandez,
dad.
397
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:18,296
- Who?
398
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,798
- The guy who kicked
the ball, dad.
399
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,300
And this is his father.
400
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:26,137
- Oh, jeezaloo,
what are you doin'?
401
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,205
- Go ahead.
402
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,640
- Uh, well, uh...
403
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,242
Mr. Barone,
404
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,644
That was really impressive
the way you, uh...
405
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,881
Caught that ball.
406
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,716
I think that was
a really great catch.
407
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:43,387
- You are a real
piece of work.
408
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:47,558
- We can't afford 10,000,
mr. Barone.
409
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,129
I can pay you 500.
410
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:55,633
Please.
I want it for my son.
411
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:20,558
- Captain huggles?
412
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,627
- Keep your money.
I don't want your money.
413
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,496
God forbid
I should make a buck.
414
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,732
But let me
tell you somethin'.
415
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,800
I know what this ball
is worth,
416
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,869
So I better not see you
sellin' it.
417
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,438
- No, sir.
418
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:38,242
- I'm surprised you don't
have them holding a puppy.
419
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:45,850
Here.
420
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,818
- Thank you.
421
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:53,224
This is for you, dad.
422
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,659
- What?
423
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,794
No, it's yours.
You should have it.
424
00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:01,265
- No. You're the one
who got me started, dad.
425
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:04,468
I kicked it for you.
426
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,204
Go on.
427
00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:16,347
- Okay?
428
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,221
- Thank you, mr. Barone.
429
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:25,456
You are a gentleman.
430
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,000
- You see that?
431
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,635
- Yeah.
432
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:41,839
- You see how nice
that kid was to his father?
433
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:51,782
You owe me ten grand!
434
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,993
- If the knicks are ever gonna
compete with the lakers,
435
00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,995
They need to be
bigger up front.
436
00:21:03,997 --> 00:21:05,830
Let's see what you all
have to say.
437
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:06,998
Robert from lynbrook.
438
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,034
- Uh, yeah. Hey, gary.
439
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:16,340
Longtime listener,
first-time caller.
440
00:21:16,342 --> 00:21:19,043
I just want to say
I heard that frank barone
441
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:20,478
Gave that ball back,
442
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,679
And I think he showed
443
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:26,550
The true spirit
of american harmony.
444
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:27,551
- Well, thank you, robert.
445
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,886
I happen to agree with you,
446
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,288
But we were talking
about the knicks.
447
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,423
- Absolutely.
One more thing...
448
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:38,029
I liked when the guy said,
"ray barone blows."
449
00:21:38,031 --> 00:21:42,066
Let's hear more from him.
450
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:44,535
Ray barone.
451
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:50,341
- Laugh it up,
pee-pee pants.
31187
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