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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,603 - I had an amazing night last night. 2 00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,138 I was at the sports bar, 3 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,407 And I met this really, really hot woman. 4 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,408 - Hot woman, yeah? 5 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,642 So get to the part 6 00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,779 Where you notice her adam's apple. 7 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,781 - Believe me, she's all woman, okay? 8 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,516 Her name's natasha. 9 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,518 She's pretty. She's got a great personality. 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,487 I'm telling you, raymond, we really hit it off. 11 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,055 - Yeah, all right. 12 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,124 So then what happened, you ran out of singles? 13 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:35,200 - Will you stop? Will you just stop already? 14 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,202 I'm telling you, she really liked me. 15 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,504 There was just one little problem. 16 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,805 - What? 17 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,440 - Well, it--it's really not a problem, 18 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,108 Shouldn't even use the word "problem." 19 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,576 It's just a minor, minor, minor thing. 20 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:45,577 - All right! What? 21 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:46,578 What? What is it? 22 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,815 - She thinks I'm you. 23 00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,489 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 24 00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,092 You met a woman who thinks that you're me? 25 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,393 - Yeah, well, I'm at the bar, right? 26 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,694 And she spills her drink on me, 27 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,296 And we start talking, 28 00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,432 And I'm telling you, we really connected. 29 00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:11,170 I was actually quite charming. 30 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,505 And the bartender passes me a towel, right? 31 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,307 And he goes, "uh, here you go, mr. Barone." 32 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:16,308 And we're in a sports bar, 33 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,810 So she just assumes 34 00:01:17,812 --> 00:01:20,145 That I'm ray barone from "new york newsday!" 35 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,285 - And you didn't correct her? 36 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:29,388 - She seemed so happy to meet you. 37 00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,557 She's a big fan of yours. 38 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,659 - Yeah, but listen, you can't-- 39 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,228 Whoa, a hot woman is a big fan of mine? 40 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,234 - I couldn't believe it either. 41 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:46,338 - Did she mention any particular column? 42 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,575 - Well, she did say something about a cal ripken profile 43 00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:52,344 Just before we... 44 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:53,712 bah-bah bah-bah bah-bah! 45 00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,115 - No! No! 46 00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,583 Come on, first night? 47 00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:01,587 - Big fan. 48 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,155 - Ha! 49 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:07,326 I did get a lot of good feedback on that piece. 50 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,394 - You certainly did. 51 00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:16,869 - Hey, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. 52 00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:17,870 Wait a minute. 53 00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,271 If she knows my writing, 54 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,740 Then she must know I have a wife. 55 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,243 - Had. Had a wife. 56 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,145 - You said I was divorced? 57 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,713 - Widower. 58 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,214 - You killed debra? 59 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:31,316 - Had to be done. 60 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,651 But don't worry. 61 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,387 You stuck by her through a very long illness. 62 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,156 You were wonderful. 63 00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,258 Oh, and just so you know, you never had any children. 64 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,659 - What? 65 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,728 - I couldn't leave any loose ends. 66 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:45,330 - Hey, look, man, you got to set her straight. 67 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,633 This is not right what you're doing. 68 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,568 - I know, but I really like her, 69 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,270 And I don't want to blow this, you know? 70 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,839 I just have to pick the right time to tell her. 71 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,374 Got to lay the groundwork. 72 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,176 - All right, but just make sure that you do it, 73 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,377 Because it's wrong, man. 74 00:02:58,379 --> 00:02:59,511 It's wrong what you're doing. 75 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,514 - I know. - All right. 76 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:06,685 So how hot was she? 77 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:10,389 - Oh, raymond, so out of your league. 78 00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,823 - Oh. 79 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:15,928 Oh, I love when they're out of my league. 80 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:16,962 Hey, hey, hey, hey, 81 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,231 Let me ask you, 82 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,899 While you were-- 83 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,302 Did she say my name or anything? 84 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,204 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 85 00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,438 - Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. 86 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,608 Did I cross over some moral line, ray? 87 00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,245 - All right. 88 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:36,348 Just suffice to say she was really into you. 89 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,417 - Oh. Great. 90 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,520 I finally have sex. I'm not even there. 91 00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,793 - She was a dynamo! 92 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,362 - Oh, really? - Oh, yeah. 93 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,363 - How was I? 94 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,498 - So-so. 95 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,809 - Hey, what are you doing to me? 96 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,244 This was sent to my office. 97 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,545 Come on. 98 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,280 "to the beginning of a wonderful romance. 99 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,948 Love, natasha." 100 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,451 Oh, I can't have this there. It's like a time bomb. 101 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,952 - All right. Thanks for bringing it over. 102 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,554 Bye-bye. 103 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,322 - Well, I get at least two of these brownies. 104 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:18,790 - No, the brownies are for me, thank you. 105 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,492 - Well, come on. I brought the thing over. 106 00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,960 - I'm heading for work now, so I'll see-- 107 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,529 Oh, hi. - Hi. 108 00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:25,797 - Natasha, 109 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,700 This is my brother, robert. 110 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,905 Brother robert, this is my friend natasha. 111 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,574 - Well, it's so nice to meet you, robert. 112 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:38,310 Ray has said so many good things about you. 113 00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,581 - He has, has he? 114 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,383 - Oh, you should hear how he brags about you. 115 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,618 "what a great cop robert is." you're like his hero. 116 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,920 - Aw. Ha. 117 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,924 Ray. 118 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,693 - He's told me all about your commendations 119 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,994 And your promotions. 120 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,029 - Really? Yeah. 121 00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:58,563 Yeah, that's no big deal. 122 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,032 They give you those just for showing up. 123 00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:01,867 Yeah. 124 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,536 - Yeah, but ray said you were wounded in the line of duty. 125 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,471 - Oh, oh, oh, yeah. He told you that? 126 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,341 Yeah, that was actually kind of stupid. 127 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,643 I, uh--I allowed myself 128 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:16,048 To get gored in the ass by a bull. 129 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:19,084 don't be so modest. 130 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,520 First of all, he was saving people. 131 00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,955 And it was actually the upper thigh. 132 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,390 - No, no, no, no, right in the ass. 133 00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,059 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 134 00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,927 Really, really stupid. 135 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,063 And I still complain about it. 136 00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,732 - Oh, will you stop it? 137 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,966 Stop being so funny. 138 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,501 Everybody thinks I'm the funny one. 139 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,969 He's the funny one. 140 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,572 This guy is a crack-up. You're a great cop. 141 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:44,343 Get out of here. 142 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,378 - No, no, no, no, no, no, you know, I'm an okay cop, 143 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,879 But I would rather be a great writer 144 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:48,980 Like my brother, raymond. 145 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,882 I mean, he's a cultural hero. 146 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,085 - You're out of your mind. I'm just a scribbler. 147 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,820 - A scribbler, yeah. 148 00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,822 Did you happen to see the profile of cal ripken, jr? 149 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:57,889 - Oh, I loved that piece. 150 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:58,924 - Really? Yeah, me, too. 151 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,692 Me too. - What about you? 152 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,027 Robert's planning a clothing drive 153 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,396 For the police athletic league. 154 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,765 He just can't stop with the giving. 155 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,037 - I don't believe you two. 156 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,143 - No? 157 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,612 - I've never met two brothers who get along so well 158 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,881 And admire each other so much. 159 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,716 It's unreal. 160 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,586 - It is unreal. 161 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:28,887 - Well, somebody raised you right. 162 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,522 You must have amazing parents. 163 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,061 - Yeah. 164 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,964 They would amaze you. 165 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,465 - I got to go. 166 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,868 I hope to be seeing you again, robert. 167 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,970 - Oh, yeah! Yeah, right, right. 168 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,872 - Oh, how did this get here? 169 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,940 - Oh, yeah, yeah. Robert brought this over. 170 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,609 He stopped by my office this morning 171 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,010 And delivered it here. 172 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,178 Always thinking of me. 173 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,780 - Mm. 174 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,948 Hey, ray, could I get one of those brownies? 175 00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:03,522 - Certainly. - Oh. 176 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,056 Thanks, ray. 177 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,861 That's funny. Ray does that chin thing too. 178 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:13,131 - Hmm, yeah, we're both idiots, 'cause we do that. 179 00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:18,503 - That's cute. That's cute. 180 00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,504 I'll see you later, ray. 181 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,505 - Mm. 182 00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,882 I swear to god 183 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,584 I was gonna tell her last night. 184 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,653 I just want to make sure that she knows 185 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,555 What a great guy robert is, see? 186 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,990 I'm trying to get her to fall for me. 187 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:43,495 - Yeah, like she's gonna dump me for you? 188 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:47,065 - You watch. I'm slowly making the transfer. 189 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,467 I build up who robert is, 190 00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,735 The kind, compassionate police officer, 191 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,104 And I downplay the shallow, heartless sportswriter 192 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,973 Until she says, "gee, ray, 193 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,708 I wish you were more like your brother," 194 00:07:56,710 --> 00:08:01,246 And then, ta-da! 195 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:06,218 - Ta-da? You're a psychotic liar. 196 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:08,687 Come on. Just tell her the truth. 197 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:09,988 - I'm gonna. - Tonight. 198 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,056 - But there's groundwork. 199 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,825 - Psychotic! - All right! 200 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,732 I'll tell her tonight. 201 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,701 - All right. 202 00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:28,507 She is pretty, though. 203 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,609 - What'd I tell you? - Mm. 204 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:33,845 Way out of my league. 205 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,181 - Mine too. - Yeah. 206 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,816 You know, it's like neither one of us 207 00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:40,619 Could've gotten her on our own, but-- 208 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,824 - But melded together, 209 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:49,895 We were like a whole other entity, 210 00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,898 Like a superhero. 211 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,267 We were better than just ray. 212 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,802 - Better than just robert. 213 00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,704 - We were 214 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,940 Raybert. 215 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,052 Come on. You were on your way out anyway. 216 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,120 You can't help your brother 217 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:16,721 With his laundry down the stairs? 218 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,822 We're raybert. 219 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,559 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, raybert. 220 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,193 What the hell you got in here anyway? 221 00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,195 - Just some socks and unmentionables. 222 00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,730 - Yeah. 223 00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,099 Too bad they're not unsmellables. 224 00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,574 - Hey. - Hey. 225 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:41,246 - You know her? - Yeah, right. 226 00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:48,186 - Hey, let me help you sort some of this stuff out, ray. 227 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:54,993 - Excuse me. 228 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,828 Do either of you have change for a dollar? 229 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,963 - Uh, no. No, I don't. 230 00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,197 But you know what? 231 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,999 My brother, ray barone, probably does. 232 00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:05,303 Yeah. Yeah. 233 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,739 Yeah. You probably do, right? 234 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,008 He's a top sportswriter over at "newsday." 235 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,077 So what do you say? 236 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:15,180 Can you help her out, ray barone? 237 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,848 - I think I might have change. 238 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,383 - Oh, yes. 239 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:23,722 Top writer at "newsday" is gonna have plenty o' change. 240 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,924 - Thanks. 241 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,195 So this guy must be the president of your fan club. 242 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,063 no, no, no. 243 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,099 Yeah, no, I'm just his brother, robert, that's all, 244 00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,001 You know, but I am proud of his accomplishments. 245 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,335 Yeah. You bet I am. 246 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,037 But you two go back to what you were doing. 247 00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,706 You work out that change thing. Yeah, go ahead. 248 00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:42,974 - So you're ray barone? 249 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,176 - Uh, yes. Yes, I am. 250 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,646 - My father loves your column. 251 00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:48,747 - Well, thank you. 252 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,649 - So does my father. Yeah. 253 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,718 And his father, 'cause-- 'cause we're brothers. 254 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,721 Yeah, all right. Let's do laundry. 255 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,192 - Hey, hey, it works. Raybert works. 256 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,828 - All right, but I like natasha. 257 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:08,333 - Oh, you can't tie raybert down like that. 258 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:12,704 - Hey, raybert may be two guys, but he's a one-woman man. 259 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,873 - Come on, I just want to see what happens. 260 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:15,940 - Thanks for the change. 261 00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,343 You're welcome. 262 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,348 - So you--you're using number seven. 263 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,151 There's a great agitator in there. 264 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,853 - Okay. 265 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,321 - Listen, you know, tell your dad 266 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,424 If he ever wants to talk sports, 267 00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,859 I'd be happy to. 268 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,295 - That's so nice. Thanks. 269 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,730 I'm wendi. 270 00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,731 - I'm still ray. 271 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:40,732 - Right. 272 00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:46,805 I'll see you around the building. 273 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,173 - Okeydokey. - Bye. 274 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,942 - Bye. - Bye. 275 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,853 Oh, god! 276 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,321 - Ray. 277 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,090 - Oh, I got to tell you, 278 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,891 That was wild watching that. 279 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,795 It's like I invented a world where ladies want ray! 280 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,230 - Bert! Raybert! 281 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,132 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, raybert, raybert, raybert. 282 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,934 Hey, listen, you-- with your availability 283 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,969 And my mystique, we-- 284 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,472 We're unstoppable! 285 00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:22,140 - All right, but you have to understand, 286 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:25,210 We may have unleashed an awesome power here. 287 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:29,080 But with that power comes responsibility. 288 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,517 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 289 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,186 You got to start working on my wardrobe. 290 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,065 - Hi. - Hi. 291 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,134 - I'm natasha. Is robert here? 292 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,936 - Uh, no, not at the moment. 293 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,471 - Well, I met him this morning, and I just-- 294 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:57,041 - You met robbie? 295 00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,109 - Yes. 296 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,145 - Did you like him? 297 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,214 - Sure, he seems very nice. - He is very nice. 298 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,382 I'm his mother. - Marie. 299 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,950 - What? 300 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,853 I'm interested in my son's friends. 301 00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:11,122 What's your last name, natasha? 302 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,223 - Leonetti. 303 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,225 italian! 304 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,794 - Well, on my father's side. 305 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,096 - Good enough! Come on in, dear. 306 00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,998 - I just wanted to drop off some things 307 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,866 For the police clothing drive. 308 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,401 - Okay. 309 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,436 I mean, you're more than welcome to leave them here, 310 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,505 But you might do better taking them to his place. 311 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,841 - Oh, I'm sorry. This isn't robert's house. 312 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,242 I saw "r. Barone" in the phone book. 313 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,977 I just assumed-- - it's okay. 314 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,579 We'll make sure that he gets them. 315 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,047 - Thank you. Thank you. 316 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:39,050 It was nice meeting you. - You too. 317 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:42,987 - Well, hello. 318 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,255 - Hello. 319 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,057 - Frank? 320 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:49,227 Frank, this is robbie's new friend, natasha. 321 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,196 - Natasha. 322 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:52,964 Well, any gorgeous friend of robert's 323 00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,300 Is a gorgeous friend of mine. 324 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,370 Where is ray? I want to see his dead toenail. 325 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:03,908 I think I got the same thing. 326 00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,177 - Uh, ray's here? 327 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:10,248 - Oh, yes, he's upstairs putting the kids to bed. 328 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:14,285 - Kids? What kids? 329 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,887 - How do you-- 330 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,889 Wait, how do you know ray? 331 00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:22,393 - We met at a bar. 332 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,929 - What do you mean? Through robert? 333 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,865 - No, no, no, I met robert through ray, 334 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,367 'cause ray and I are kind of dating. 335 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,879 - Holy crap! 336 00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,484 - Wait a minute. What? 337 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,419 - Is there a problem? 338 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,989 - Um, no, there's no problem. 339 00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,156 I'm just surprised 340 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:56,661 That my husband has time to date. 341 00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,230 - What? You're his wife? 342 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,099 Ray said you were dead! 343 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:04,469 oh! Oh! 344 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,171 Oh! Oh! 345 00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:19,083 - Holy crap! 346 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,318 beach baby 347 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,321 Beach baby down on the sand-- 348 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,093 - Shame on you, young man! 349 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,428 - Wait a minute. Wait a minute! 350 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,163 - Didn't I teach you anything? 351 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,531 You got a problem with your woman, 352 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,200 You don't go out and get another woman! 353 00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:40,004 Now all you got is two problems! 354 00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:43,408 - Just wait a minute! 355 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,945 - Okay, just back it up, everybody. 356 00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,579 - Robert, what is going on? 357 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,615 - That's not robert. That's raymond. 358 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,116 - You're not robert? 359 00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,451 - Okay, look, if you just let me talk, 360 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,386 I can explain everything. 361 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:10,468 I am robert. 362 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,072 - Wow, that is one bad alibi. 363 00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:40,431 I come to fix sprinkler. 364 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,176 - What's your name? 365 00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:59,283 What's your name? 366 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,152 - Man, let me show you where that water valve is. 367 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,288 - Ray. 368 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,025 - Sorry, man. 369 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:11,396 - It's all right. Forget it. 370 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:17,068 I am robert barone, lieutenant, nypd, 371 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,703 And this is my brother, 372 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,204 Raymond, 373 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,607 Sportswriter, "newsday." 374 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,376 - How could you do this to me? 375 00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,313 - When you first mistook me for raymond, 376 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,249 I didn't want to let you down. 377 00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:34,052 - So you lied to me? 378 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,186 I have to get out of here. 379 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:38,122 - No, no, wait, natasha, 380 00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,357 Listen. 381 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,292 I was gonna tell you so many times. 382 00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,560 It's just that I really liked you, 383 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,197 And I didn't want-- 384 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,599 You see, people seem to respond differently 385 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,401 To raymond. 386 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,403 He's always been the funny one, 387 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,771 The smart one, 388 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,540 The favored one. 389 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:58,509 - We've never shown any favoritism. 390 00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:09,087 - See, you got to understand 391 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,354 I've always wondered 392 00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:13,257 What it would be like to be raymond. 393 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,194 And it was even better than I thought it would be 394 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,830 Because I met you. 395 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:21,165 - I can't believe this. 396 00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,334 You didn't have to do that. 397 00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,506 I liked you. 398 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,308 - Really? 399 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,713 - Not anymore. 400 00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,583 This is so humiliating. 401 00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:39,584 - I hear you. 402 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:40,751 - And what did you think, 403 00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,687 I was some ray barone groupie? 404 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,856 You know what? 405 00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:48,259 Good-bye, whoever you are! 406 00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,206 It's not you. 407 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:06,911 It's that she said, "ray barone groupie." 408 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,546 - All right, dad. 409 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:11,382 - That's got to be a pretty small group. 410 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:15,453 All you got left is her. 411 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,821 I'll say this, robert. 412 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:20,791 You're scaring off a better class of broad. 413 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,294 - Always there for me, dad. 414 00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,595 - He's right. 415 00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,864 Why won't you let me help you, robbie? 416 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,233 - He should be able to help himself. 417 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,837 What the hell is wrong with you? 418 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,505 You have to pretend to be somebody else? 419 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,774 I mean, please, how old are you? 420 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:41,812 You have got to have a little more self-esteem! 421 00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:46,217 - You're right. I'm an idiot. 422 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,852 - Yes--no! That's--no! 423 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,222 That--that's what I'm talking about. 424 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,523 When are you gonna see 425 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:56,260 What other people see in you, robert? 426 00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,531 - I know. I know. 427 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,366 It's just it started as a mix-up, 428 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,935 And then raymond and I 429 00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:06,571 Just started having so much fun with it. 430 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:07,605 - Wait a minute. 431 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:11,842 Ray and you? 432 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,612 - By "ray," he means him 'cause of that thing he did. 433 00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,214 Yeah. 434 00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,787 - No, no, no, no, I'm not blaming you, ray. 435 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,990 I mean, it's my fault. I enjoyed being raybert too. 436 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,491 - Raybert? 437 00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,794 - Yeah. 438 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:32,463 That's what we called us. It was fun. 439 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:33,531 And it worked. 440 00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:34,832 There was natasha 441 00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,400 And then the girl in the laundry room. 442 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,270 - The girl in the laundry room? 443 00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:52,250 I go fix sprinkler now. 444 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,423 - Oh, good, he's here. 445 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:03,594 Dad, this is ray barone. 446 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,662 - Um-- 447 00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:05,997 - That's not ray barone. 448 00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:08,432 - What? - I've seen him in interviews. 449 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,734 - Listen-- 450 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,269 - This guy told you he was ray barone? 451 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,305 - Yeah. 452 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:17,441 - What are you trying to pull? 453 00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,677 - You're not ray barone? 454 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:23,381 - I have self-esteem issues. 455 00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:25,650 - What is wrong with you? 456 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:30,388 - No one knows. 457 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,324 - Stay away from my daughter, understand me? 458 00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:34,592 Or I'll call the cops. 459 00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:39,563 - Actually, I am a cop. 460 00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:41,832 - You want to play with me now? 461 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,571 Let's go. 462 00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:50,041 From now on, you do your laundry at home. 463 00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:52,043 - Weirdo. 464 00:21:52,045 --> 00:21:54,478 - That doesn't help my self-esteem! 31496

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