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1
00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,603
- I had an amazing night
last night.
2
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,138
I was at the sports bar,
3
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,407
And I met this really,
really hot woman.
4
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,408
- Hot woman, yeah?
5
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,642
So get to the part
6
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:13,779
Where you notice
her adam's apple.
7
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,781
- Believe me,
she's all woman, okay?
8
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,516
Her name's natasha.
9
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,518
She's pretty.
She's got a great personality.
10
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,487
I'm telling you, raymond,
we really hit it off.
11
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,055
- Yeah, all right.
12
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,124
So then what happened,
you ran out of singles?
13
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:35,200
- Will you stop?
Will you just stop already?
14
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,202
I'm telling you,
she really liked me.
15
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,504
There was just
one little problem.
16
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:39,805
- What?
17
00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,440
- Well, it--it's really
not a problem,
18
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,108
Shouldn't even
use the word "problem."
19
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,576
It's just a minor,
minor, minor thing.
20
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:45,577
- All right!
What?
21
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:46,578
What?
What is it?
22
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,815
- She thinks I'm you.
23
00:00:56,122 --> 00:00:57,489
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
24
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,092
You met a woman
who thinks that you're me?
25
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,393
- Yeah, well,
I'm at the bar, right?
26
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,694
And she spills
her drink on me,
27
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,296
And we start talking,
28
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:06,432
And I'm telling you,
we really connected.
29
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:11,170
I was actually
quite charming.
30
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,505
And the bartender
passes me a towel, right?
31
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,307
And he goes,
"uh, here you go, mr. Barone."
32
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:16,308
And we're in a sports bar,
33
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,810
So she just assumes
34
00:01:17,812 --> 00:01:20,145
That I'm ray barone
from "new york newsday!"
35
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,285
- And you didn't correct her?
36
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:29,388
- She seemed so happy
to meet you.
37
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,557
She's a big fan of yours.
38
00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,659
- Yeah, but listen,
you can't--
39
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,228
Whoa, a hot woman
is a big fan of mine?
40
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,234
- I couldn't believe it either.
41
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:46,338
- Did she mention
any particular column?
42
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,575
- Well, she did say something
about a cal ripken profile
43
00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:52,344
Just before we...
44
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:53,712
bah-bah bah-bah bah-bah!
45
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:56,115
- No!
No!
46
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,583
Come on, first night?
47
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:01,587
- Big fan.
48
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,155
- Ha!
49
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:07,326
I did get a lot of good feedback
on that piece.
50
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,394
- You certainly did.
51
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:16,869
- Hey, whoa, whoa,
wait a minute.
52
00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:17,870
Wait a minute.
53
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,271
If she knows my writing,
54
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,740
Then she must know
I have a wife.
55
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,243
- Had.
Had a wife.
56
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,145
- You said I was divorced?
57
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,713
- Widower.
58
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,214
- You killed debra?
59
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:31,316
- Had to be done.
60
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,651
But don't worry.
61
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,387
You stuck by her
through a very long illness.
62
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,156
You were wonderful.
63
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:39,258
Oh, and just so you know,
you never had any children.
64
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,659
- What?
65
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,728
- I couldn't leave
any loose ends.
66
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:45,330
- Hey, look, man, you got
to set her straight.
67
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,633
This is not right
what you're doing.
68
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,568
- I know,
but I really like her,
69
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,270
And I don't want
to blow this, you know?
70
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,839
I just have to pick
the right time to tell her.
71
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,374
Got to lay the groundwork.
72
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,176
- All right, but just make sure
that you do it,
73
00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,377
Because it's wrong, man.
74
00:02:58,379 --> 00:02:59,511
It's wrong what you're doing.
75
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,514
- I know.
- All right.
76
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:06,685
So how hot was she?
77
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:10,389
- Oh, raymond,
so out of your league.
78
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,823
- Oh.
79
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:15,928
Oh, I love when they're out
of my league.
80
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:16,962
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
81
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,231
Let me ask you,
82
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,899
While you were--
83
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,302
Did she say my name
or anything?
84
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,204
- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey!
85
00:03:25,206 --> 00:03:26,438
- Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
86
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,608
Did I cross over
some moral line, ray?
87
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,245
- All right.
88
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:36,348
Just suffice to say
she was really into you.
89
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,417
- Oh.
Great.
90
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,520
I finally have sex.
I'm not even there.
91
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:47,793
- She was a dynamo!
92
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,362
- Oh, really?
- Oh, yeah.
93
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,363
- How was I?
94
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,498
- So-so.
95
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,809
- Hey, what are you
doing to me?
96
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,244
This was sent to my office.
97
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:06,545
Come on.
98
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,280
"to the beginning
of a wonderful romance.
99
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,948
Love, natasha."
100
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,451
Oh, I can't have this there.
It's like a time bomb.
101
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,952
- All right.
Thanks for bringing it over.
102
00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,554
Bye-bye.
103
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,322
- Well, I get at least
two of these brownies.
104
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:18,790
- No, the brownies
are for me, thank you.
105
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,492
- Well, come on.
I brought the thing over.
106
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,960
- I'm heading for work now,
so I'll see--
107
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,529
Oh, hi.
- Hi.
108
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:25,797
- Natasha,
109
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:28,700
This is my brother, robert.
110
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,905
Brother robert,
this is my friend natasha.
111
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,574
- Well, it's so nice
to meet you, robert.
112
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:38,310
Ray has said
so many good things about you.
113
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:42,581
- He has, has he?
114
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,383
- Oh, you should hear
how he brags about you.
115
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,618
"what a great cop robert is."
you're like his hero.
116
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,920
- Aw.
Ha.
117
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,924
Ray.
118
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,693
- He's told me all about
your commendations
119
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,994
And your promotions.
120
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,029
- Really?
Yeah.
121
00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:58,563
Yeah, that's no big deal.
122
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,032
They give you those
just for showing up.
123
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:01,867
Yeah.
124
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,536
- Yeah, but ray said you were
wounded in the line of duty.
125
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,471
- Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
He told you that?
126
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,341
Yeah, that was actually
kind of stupid.
127
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:11,643
I, uh--I allowed myself
128
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:16,048
To get gored in the ass
by a bull.
129
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:19,084
don't be so modest.
130
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:21,520
First of all,
he was saving people.
131
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,955
And it was actually
the upper thigh.
132
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,390
- No, no, no, no,
right in the ass.
133
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,059
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
134
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:28,927
Really, really stupid.
135
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,063
And I still complain about it.
136
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,732
- Oh, will you stop it?
137
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,966
Stop being so funny.
138
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,501
Everybody thinks
I'm the funny one.
139
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,969
He's the funny one.
140
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,572
This guy is a crack-up.
You're a great cop.
141
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:44,343
Get out of here.
142
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,378
- No, no, no, no, no, no,
you know, I'm an okay cop,
143
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,879
But I would rather be
a great writer
144
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:48,980
Like my brother, raymond.
145
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:50,882
I mean, he's a cultural hero.
146
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,085
- You're out of your mind.
I'm just a scribbler.
147
00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,820
- A scribbler, yeah.
148
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,822
Did you happen to see
the profile of cal ripken, jr?
149
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:57,889
- Oh, I loved that piece.
150
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:58,924
- Really?
Yeah, me, too.
151
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,692
Me too.
- What about you?
152
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,027
Robert's planning
a clothing drive
153
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,396
For the police athletic league.
154
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,765
He just can't stop
with the giving.
155
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,037
- I don't believe you two.
156
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,143
- No?
157
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,612
- I've never met two brothers
who get along so well
158
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:22,881
And admire each other so much.
159
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,716
It's unreal.
160
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,586
- It is unreal.
161
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:28,887
- Well, somebody
raised you right.
162
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,522
You must have amazing parents.
163
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,061
- Yeah.
164
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,964
They would amaze you.
165
00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:40,465
- I got to go.
166
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,868
I hope to be
seeing you again, robert.
167
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,970
- Oh, yeah!
Yeah, right, right.
168
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,872
- Oh, how did this get here?
169
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,940
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
Robert brought this over.
170
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,609
He stopped by my office
this morning
171
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,010
And delivered it here.
172
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,178
Always thinking of me.
173
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,780
- Mm.
174
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,948
Hey, ray, could I get
one of those brownies?
175
00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:03,522
- Certainly.
- Oh.
176
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,056
Thanks, ray.
177
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,861
That's funny.
Ray does that chin thing too.
178
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:13,131
- Hmm, yeah, we're both idiots,
'cause we do that.
179
00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:18,503
- That's cute.
That's cute.
180
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,504
I'll see you later, ray.
181
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,505
- Mm.
182
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:30,882
I swear to god
183
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,584
I was gonna tell her
last night.
184
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,653
I just want to make sure
that she knows
185
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,555
What a great guy
robert is, see?
186
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,990
I'm trying to get her
to fall for me.
187
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:43,495
- Yeah, like she's gonna
dump me for you?
188
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:47,065
- You watch.
I'm slowly making the transfer.
189
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,467
I build up who robert is,
190
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,735
The kind, compassionate
police officer,
191
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:53,104
And I downplay the shallow,
heartless sportswriter
192
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,973
Until she says, "gee, ray,
193
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,708
I wish you were
more like your brother,"
194
00:07:56,710 --> 00:08:01,246
And then, ta-da!
195
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:06,218
- Ta-da?
You're a psychotic liar.
196
00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:08,687
Come on.
Just tell her the truth.
197
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:09,988
- I'm gonna.
- Tonight.
198
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,056
- But there's groundwork.
199
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,825
- Psychotic!
- All right!
200
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,732
I'll tell her tonight.
201
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,701
- All right.
202
00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:28,507
She is pretty, though.
203
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,609
- What'd I tell you?
- Mm.
204
00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:33,845
Way out of my league.
205
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,181
- Mine too.
- Yeah.
206
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,816
You know, it's like
neither one of us
207
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:40,619
Could've gotten her
on our own, but--
208
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,824
- But melded together,
209
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:49,895
We were like
a whole other entity,
210
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,898
Like a superhero.
211
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,267
We were better
than just ray.
212
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,802
- Better than just robert.
213
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,704
- We were
214
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,940
Raybert.
215
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,052
Come on.
You were on your way out anyway.
216
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,120
You can't help your brother
217
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:16,721
With his laundry
down the stairs?
218
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,822
We're raybert.
219
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,559
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, raybert.
220
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,193
What the hell you got
in here anyway?
221
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,195
- Just some socks
and unmentionables.
222
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,730
- Yeah.
223
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,099
Too bad
they're not unsmellables.
224
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,574
- Hey.
- Hey.
225
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:41,246
- You know her?
- Yeah, right.
226
00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:48,186
- Hey, let me help you sort
some of this stuff out, ray.
227
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:54,993
- Excuse me.
228
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,828
Do either of you
have change for a dollar?
229
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,963
- Uh, no.
No, I don't.
230
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,197
But you know what?
231
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,999
My brother, ray barone,
probably does.
232
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:05,303
Yeah.
Yeah.
233
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,739
Yeah.
You probably do, right?
234
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,008
He's a top sportswriter
over at "newsday."
235
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,077
So what do you say?
236
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:15,180
Can you help her out,
ray barone?
237
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,848
- I think
I might have change.
238
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,383
- Oh, yes.
239
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:23,722
Top writer at "newsday"
is gonna have plenty o' change.
240
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,924
- Thanks.
241
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,195
So this guy must be
the president of your fan club.
242
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:32,063
no, no, no.
243
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,099
Yeah, no, I'm just his brother,
robert, that's all,
244
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,001
You know, but I am proud
of his accomplishments.
245
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,335
Yeah.
You bet I am.
246
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,037
But you two go back
to what you were doing.
247
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,706
You work out that change thing.
Yeah, go ahead.
248
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:42,974
- So you're ray barone?
249
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,176
- Uh, yes.
Yes, I am.
250
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,646
- My father loves your column.
251
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:48,747
- Well, thank you.
252
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,649
- So does my father.
Yeah.
253
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,718
And his father, 'cause--
'cause we're brothers.
254
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,721
Yeah, all right.
Let's do laundry.
255
00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:01,192
- Hey, hey, it works.
Raybert works.
256
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,828
- All right,
but I like natasha.
257
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:08,333
- Oh, you can't
tie raybert down like that.
258
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:12,704
- Hey, raybert may be two guys,
but he's a one-woman man.
259
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,873
- Come on, I just want
to see what happens.
260
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:15,940
- Thanks for the change.
261
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,343
You're welcome.
262
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,348
- So you--you're using
number seven.
263
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,151
There's a great agitator
in there.
264
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,853
- Okay.
265
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,321
- Listen, you know,
tell your dad
266
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,424
If he ever wants
to talk sports,
267
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,859
I'd be happy to.
268
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,295
- That's so nice.
Thanks.
269
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,730
I'm wendi.
270
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:39,731
- I'm still ray.
271
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:40,732
- Right.
272
00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:46,805
I'll see you
around the building.
273
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,173
- Okeydokey.
- Bye.
274
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,942
- Bye.
- Bye.
275
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,853
Oh, god!
276
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,321
- Ray.
277
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,090
- Oh, I got to tell you,
278
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,891
That was wild watching that.
279
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,795
It's like I invented a world
where ladies want ray!
280
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,230
- Bert!
Raybert!
281
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,132
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
raybert, raybert, raybert.
282
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:15,934
Hey, listen, you--
with your availability
283
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,969
And my mystique, we--
284
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,472
We're unstoppable!
285
00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:22,140
- All right,
but you have to understand,
286
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:25,210
We may have unleashed
an awesome power here.
287
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:29,080
But with that power
comes responsibility.
288
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,517
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
289
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,186
You got to start working
on my wardrobe.
290
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,065
- Hi.
- Hi.
291
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,134
- I'm natasha.
Is robert here?
292
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,936
- Uh, no, not at the moment.
293
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,471
- Well, I met him this morning,
and I just--
294
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:57,041
- You met robbie?
295
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,109
- Yes.
296
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,145
- Did you like him?
297
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:03,214
- Sure, he seems very nice.
- He is very nice.
298
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,382
I'm his mother.
- Marie.
299
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,950
- What?
300
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,853
I'm interested
in my son's friends.
301
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:11,122
What's your last name, natasha?
302
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,223
- Leonetti.
303
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,225
italian!
304
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,794
- Well, on my father's side.
305
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,096
- Good enough!
Come on in, dear.
306
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,998
- I just wanted to drop off
some things
307
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,866
For the police clothing drive.
308
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,401
- Okay.
309
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,436
I mean, you're more than welcome
to leave them here,
310
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,505
But you might do better
taking them to his place.
311
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,841
- Oh, I'm sorry.
This isn't robert's house.
312
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,242
I saw "r. Barone"
in the phone book.
313
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:32,977
I just assumed--
- it's okay.
314
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,579
We'll make sure
that he gets them.
315
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,047
- Thank you.
Thank you.
316
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:39,050
It was nice meeting you.
- You too.
317
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:42,987
- Well, hello.
318
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,255
- Hello.
319
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,057
- Frank?
320
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:49,227
Frank, this is robbie's
new friend, natasha.
321
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,196
- Natasha.
322
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:52,964
Well, any gorgeous friend
of robert's
323
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,300
Is a gorgeous friend of mine.
324
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,370
Where is ray?
I want to see his dead toenail.
325
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:03,908
I think I got
the same thing.
326
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,177
- Uh, ray's here?
327
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:10,248
- Oh, yes, he's upstairs
putting the kids to bed.
328
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:14,285
- Kids?
What kids?
329
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,887
- How do you--
330
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,889
Wait, how do you know ray?
331
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:22,393
- We met at a bar.
332
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,929
- What do you mean?
Through robert?
333
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,865
- No, no, no,
I met robert through ray,
334
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,367
'cause ray and I
are kind of dating.
335
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,879
- Holy crap!
336
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,484
- Wait a minute.
What?
337
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,419
- Is there a problem?
338
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,989
- Um, no, there's no problem.
339
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,156
I'm just surprised
340
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:56,661
That my husband
has time to date.
341
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,230
- What?
You're his wife?
342
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,099
Ray said you were dead!
343
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:04,469
oh! Oh!
344
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,171
Oh!
Oh!
345
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:19,083
- Holy crap!
346
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,318
beach baby
347
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,321
Beach baby
down on the sand--
348
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,093
- Shame on you,
young man!
349
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,428
- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
350
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,163
- Didn't I teach you anything?
351
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,531
You got a problem
with your woman,
352
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,200
You don't go out
and get another woman!
353
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:40,004
Now all you got
is two problems!
354
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:43,408
- Just wait a minute!
355
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,945
- Okay, just back it up,
everybody.
356
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,579
- Robert, what is going on?
357
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,615
- That's not robert.
That's raymond.
358
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,116
- You're not robert?
359
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,451
- Okay, look, if you just
let me talk,
360
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,386
I can explain everything.
361
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:10,468
I am robert.
362
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,072
- Wow, that is one bad alibi.
363
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:40,431
I come to fix sprinkler.
364
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,176
- What's your name?
365
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:59,283
What's your name?
366
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,152
- Man, let me show you
where that water valve is.
367
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,288
- Ray.
368
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,025
- Sorry, man.
369
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:11,396
- It's all right.
Forget it.
370
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:17,068
I am robert barone,
lieutenant, nypd,
371
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,703
And this is my brother,
372
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,204
Raymond,
373
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,607
Sportswriter, "newsday."
374
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,376
- How could you do this to me?
375
00:17:27,646 --> 00:17:29,313
- When you first mistook me
for raymond,
376
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,249
I didn't want to let you down.
377
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:34,052
- So you lied to me?
378
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,186
I have to get out of here.
379
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:38,122
- No, no, wait, natasha,
380
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,357
Listen.
381
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,292
I was gonna tell you
so many times.
382
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,560
It's just
that I really liked you,
383
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,197
And I didn't want--
384
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,599
You see, people seem
to respond differently
385
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,401
To raymond.
386
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,403
He's always been
the funny one,
387
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:53,771
The smart one,
388
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,540
The favored one.
389
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:58,509
- We've never shown
any favoritism.
390
00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:09,087
- See, you got to understand
391
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,354
I've always wondered
392
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:13,257
What it would be like
to be raymond.
393
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:16,194
And it was even better
than I thought it would be
394
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,830
Because I met you.
395
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:21,165
- I can't believe this.
396
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:23,334
You didn't have to do that.
397
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,506
I liked you.
398
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,308
- Really?
399
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,713
- Not anymore.
400
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:38,583
This is so humiliating.
401
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:39,584
- I hear you.
402
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:40,751
- And what did you think,
403
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,687
I was some
ray barone groupie?
404
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,856
You know what?
405
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:48,259
Good-bye, whoever you are!
406
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,206
It's not you.
407
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:06,911
It's that she said,
"ray barone groupie."
408
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,546
- All right, dad.
409
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:11,382
- That's got to be
a pretty small group.
410
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:15,453
All you got left is her.
411
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,821
I'll say this, robert.
412
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:20,791
You're scaring off
a better class of broad.
413
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,294
- Always there for me, dad.
414
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,595
- He's right.
415
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,864
Why won't you
let me help you, robbie?
416
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,233
- He should be able
to help himself.
417
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,837
What the hell
is wrong with you?
418
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,505
You have to pretend
to be somebody else?
419
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,774
I mean, please,
how old are you?
420
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:41,812
You have got to have
a little more self-esteem!
421
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:46,217
- You're right.
I'm an idiot.
422
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,852
- Yes--no!
That's--no!
423
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,222
That--that's what
I'm talking about.
424
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,523
When are you gonna see
425
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:56,260
What other people
see in you, robert?
426
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,531
- I know.
I know.
427
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,366
It's just it started
as a mix-up,
428
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,935
And then raymond and I
429
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:06,571
Just started
having so much fun with it.
430
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:07,605
- Wait a minute.
431
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:11,842
Ray and you?
432
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,612
- By "ray," he means him
'cause of that thing he did.
433
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,214
Yeah.
434
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:22,787
- No, no, no, no,
I'm not blaming you, ray.
435
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,990
I mean, it's my fault.
I enjoyed being raybert too.
436
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:27,491
- Raybert?
437
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,794
- Yeah.
438
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:32,463
That's what we called us.
It was fun.
439
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:33,531
And it worked.
440
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:34,832
There was natasha
441
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,400
And then the girl
in the laundry room.
442
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,270
- The girl in the laundry room?
443
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:52,250
I go fix sprinkler now.
444
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,423
- Oh, good, he's here.
445
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:03,594
Dad, this is ray barone.
446
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,662
- Um--
447
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:05,997
- That's not ray barone.
448
00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:08,432
- What?
- I've seen him in interviews.
449
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,734
- Listen--
450
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:11,269
- This guy told you
he was ray barone?
451
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:14,305
- Yeah.
452
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:17,441
- What are you trying to pull?
453
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:19,677
- You're not ray barone?
454
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:23,381
- I have self-esteem issues.
455
00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:25,650
- What is wrong with you?
456
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:30,388
- No one knows.
457
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,324
- Stay away from my daughter,
understand me?
458
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:34,592
Or I'll call the cops.
459
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:39,563
- Actually, I am a cop.
460
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:41,832
- You want to play
with me now?
461
00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,571
Let's go.
462
00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:50,041
From now on,
you do your laundry at home.
463
00:21:50,043 --> 00:21:52,043
- Weirdo.
464
00:21:52,045 --> 00:21:54,478
- That doesn't help
my self-esteem!
31496
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