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1
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,307
- Oh!
- Whoa!
2
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:10,542
- ow!
3
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,513
- Oh...Oh...
4
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,115
Ohh, sorry.
5
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,418
Thought I had
a little more bed up there.
6
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,552
- No, hey, ray, stop!
7
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,687
- What?
8
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,322
- I really hurt
my shoulder.
9
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,257
- Oh, well,
can't you just shake it off?
10
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,792
- Well, no.
11
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,327
No, it really hurts.
12
00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,295
I think I better
put some ice on it.
13
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:31,530
- Well, you know,
my wrist hurts,
14
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,098
But you know what they say.
15
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:36,101
You should get
right back up on the horse.
16
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,570
- I'm getting ice.
17
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,042
- But the horse!
18
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,414
Ow...
19
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,383
My first sex injury.
20
00:00:53,319 --> 00:00:58,590
Another season
of "everybody loves raymond."
21
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,469
- Oh! Aah! God.
22
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:52,511
Ah, ooh! Man.
23
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:59,351
Hey, gianni,
pass me that soda.
24
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:02,354
Oh! Aah! Jeez.
25
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,189
Aah, god.
26
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:05,557
Man, I hurt my wrist.
27
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,693
I really hurt that wrist,
didn't I?
28
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,395
- What, did you sprain it
opening a jar of marmalade?
29
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,766
- How 'bout
just the opposite?
30
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:24,276
Debra and I
had some wild sex last night.
31
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,312
- Whoa!
- All right.
32
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:30,883
- Oh, whoop-de-doo for you.
33
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,451
- So what happened?
34
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,286
- Well, no, no, no.
35
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,155
I don't need to talk about it,
all right?
36
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,656
- Oh, would you stop?
37
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,892
You brought it up.
You got a phony bandage on.
38
00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:44,296
You can't wait to tell
everybody everything.
39
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,198
- Tell me anything.
40
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,266
- No! No, no.
41
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,700
- Oh, this isn't fair!
42
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,903
I haven't had sex
since my kid was born.
43
00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:54,206
- Your kid's
a year and a half.
44
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,909
- Tell me your story.
45
00:02:56,911 --> 00:03:01,513
- All right.
All right.
46
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,348
You know,
things were happening,
47
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,217
And it got a little crazy,
48
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:08,954
And next thing I know,
we're airborne.
49
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,657
- Whoo.
50
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:16,461
- Long story short,
this was no marmalade accident.
51
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,696
- That will never
happen to me.
52
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,667
- No kidding.
53
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,902
- Hey, she's hurt worse than me.
54
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:27,739
- So you're proud of the fact
that you're such a klutz,
55
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:31,944
You fell out of bed
onto your poor petite wife.
56
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,813
- I can honestly say
this was not my fault.
57
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:39,685
The lady got a little bit
out of control.
58
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:40,719
- Really?
59
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,920
You know, I got to tell you,
60
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,289
I always thought
that about debra.
61
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,791
- What?
62
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,359
What do you mean?
63
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,927
What--what are you thinking
about debra?
64
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,263
- Yeah, I can see that.
65
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,932
She seems to be very, uh...
66
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,868
"animale."
67
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,240
- All right, all right,
a little respect.
68
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,908
Is this how you talk
about your wife?
69
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,744
I guess they're just handing
out wives to anybody, huh?
70
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,918
- Hey, so you really
thought that about debra?
71
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,386
- Yeah,
she's like one of those
72
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,521
"uptight and bossy
on the surface
73
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,391
But wild underneath" girls.
74
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,525
- Well, I'm uptight.
75
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:24,429
You think I'm wild underneath?
76
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,432
- I'd hate to be underneath.
77
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,773
- Hey, you know, you guys
should know about debra,
78
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,743
She wasn't always--she wasn't
always like this, you know?
79
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:41,847
But I guess over the years,
I've kind of created a monster.
80
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,616
- Turn up the tv.
81
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,984
I'm coming back,
82
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,720
And I'll be eating
something crunchy.
83
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,556
- All right, all right.
84
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:54,293
Just shut up now about
the boom-ba-dee-boom-boom.
85
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,794
- Come on, your old man
would be proud of you.
86
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,029
You were taking care
of business.
87
00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:58,797
- Every way.
88
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,866
- Now, just look, we don't talk
about that, all right?
89
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,535
What's wrong with you guys?
Have a little class, man.
90
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,504
- Dad,
those nachos were for me.
91
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,538
- I like cheese.
92
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:10,075
You knew the risks.
93
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,444
- Hey, frank, ray hurt himself.
94
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,512
Ask him how.
95
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,681
- Bernie.
96
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:16,815
- Why?
97
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,583
- Yeah, never mind.
98
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,619
- No, no, no, it's a good story.
Ask him.
99
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:23,455
- All right. Go ahead.
100
00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,560
- What? It's nothin'.
101
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:31,029
I hurt my wrist,
that's all.
102
00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,533
I fell down the stairs.
103
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,436
They're old, and they're creaky,
those stairs.
104
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:41,606
- What a marvelous story.
105
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,942
And you tell it beautifully.
106
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,611
- I told you it was nothing.
107
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,046
- How many years
have I got left?
108
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:51,350
You got to waste my time
with that story?
109
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,518
- What? I didn't want
to tell it to you.
110
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,920
- Then you should
cut your losses now
111
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,688
And stop talking.
112
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,358
A stair story.
113
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,594
- Debra fell, too.
114
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,763
- Hey, would you shut up?
115
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,065
All right?
Just shut up!
116
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,633
What are you bothering
my father for?
117
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:09,968
He's watching the game,
118
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,804
And he told me
he doesn't like you.
119
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,740
- Two people falling.
120
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,109
Now maybe you got a story.
121
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,877
How'd that happen?
122
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,948
- Yes, how?
Pray tell.
123
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,852
- Same thing.
Those crazy-ass stairs there.
124
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,921
So if you see debra later
and she has a sore shoulder,
125
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,556
Then that's why.
126
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,126
- I don't understand
how two grown people
127
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:36,928
Fall down the stairs.
128
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,797
- Because it wasn't our fault.
129
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:44,436
Those stupid stairs--
they're dangerous, I tell you.
130
00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:49,574
- So did you really
fall down the stairs?
131
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,609
Which story's true?
132
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:51,877
- Would you shut up?
133
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,545
- No, no, really,
I'm confused,
134
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,047
Because they're both
quite convincing.
135
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,821
- All right, all right.
136
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,523
Whoo.
137
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:05,991
- All right.
138
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:09,728
I am laying down now
and scratching a few things.
139
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,733
- Frank,
what are you doing?
140
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,668
- I came over
to check out your stairs.
141
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,503
No wonder
the two of you fell.
142
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,871
These look warped.
143
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,506
- What are you talking--
144
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,809
- You know what?
Let's just leave him alone.
145
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,177
This is who he is.
146
00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,179
This is how he defines himself
as a person.
147
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,914
- But why is your father
fixing our stairs?
148
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:30,749
- Who cares?
The fudge pops are melting.
149
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:31,850
Let's go.
Come on.
150
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,685
- Wait a minute.
151
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:37,589
Why does your father think
that we fell down the stairs?
152
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,057
- Because
that's what I told him.
153
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,859
You don't want him
knowing the truth, do you?
154
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,628
He came in the other night,
I was talking to the guys and--
155
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:47,866
- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute!
156
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,235
Did you tell the guys?
157
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,771
- Uh...
158
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:58,743
They guessed.
159
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,812
- You told your friends
160
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,547
About how we fell
out of the bed?
161
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,816
- No, they just got it.
162
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,152
My wrist, your shoulder...
163
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,921
It is kind of obvious.
164
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,657
- Oh, my god, ray,
this is so embarrassing.
165
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,693
How could you?
166
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,761
- It's guy talk.
167
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:19,164
Come on, that's what we do.
Hey, don't be embarrassed.
168
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,800
We're "muy caliente"!
169
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,903
- Yeah.
170
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,838
And everyone knows it.
171
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,640
- All right!
172
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,242
- I don't want everyone
to know it, ray!
173
00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:32,177
- Come on, look,
the guys already think
174
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,212
You're wild and stuff anyway,
so it doesn't matter.
175
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:37,849
- Well, I don't think...
176
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,651
Wild?
177
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,254
Really?
178
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:45,290
- "animale."
179
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,629
- Really?
They think I'm wild?
180
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,764
- Yeah, see, see! You like it.
Everything is fine.
181
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,599
- No, no, it is not fine.
182
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,168
No, because you're not supposed
to be talking about that.
183
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,970
And then you have
to make up this whole thing
184
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,605
About the stairs,
185
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,040
And now your father's
ripping 'em out!
186
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,075
How are we gonna get up
the stairs?
187
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:08,280
- Look at your eyes right now.
You are a little wild.
188
00:09:08,282 --> 00:09:09,614
Rawrrr.
189
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,950
- Oh, get away from me.
190
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,185
- Hello, dears.
- Hi, marie.
191
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,688
- Frank wanted some ice water.
192
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,056
- Believe it or not, marie,
193
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,559
We have the ingredients
for that right here.
194
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,928
- Oh, I know,
195
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:26,665
But frank likes his ice cubes
a little less murky.
196
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,099
- All right.
197
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:31,836
- Oh, I heard about you
falling down the stairs!
198
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,940
Sounds terrible.
Are you all right?
199
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,174
- Yeah, we're fine,
marie.
200
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:39,044
- My wrist is a little sore.
- Ray.
201
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,179
- You poor thing.
- Yeah, yeah.
202
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:45,917
- But what I don't understand
is, how did you both fall?
203
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,220
Were you going down the stairs
at the same time?
204
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:50,956
- Yes, we were.
205
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:55,293
That is, indeed,
what we did do.
206
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,095
- But why?
207
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,763
- I don't know.
208
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:03,768
It was kind of like
a jack-and-jill situation.
209
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,271
I went, and then she,
you know...
210
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:11,009
Came tumbling after.
211
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,911
- I don't understand.
212
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,145
- Well,
there's no shame in that.
213
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,081
We all get old.
214
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,890
- We were having a race.
215
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,258
- Huh?
216
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,095
- A race?
In the house?
217
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:34,065
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
218
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,635
- Something doesn't make sense.
219
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,103
- Well, it doesn't have to.
220
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:41,940
It's a tradition.
221
00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,908
- A tradition.
222
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,077
Well, I never heard
anything about these races.
223
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,113
- Well, it's--just it's kind of
our thing, you know?
224
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,781
I mean, we do it all the time.
225
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:52,784
Sometimes we do front door
to back door, you know?
226
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,020
Yeah, sometimes we do
three times around the couch.
227
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,388
Friday
we usually do the stairs.
228
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,123
- Okay, ray.
229
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,159
- "Friday on the stairs"--
that's what we call it.
230
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:07,365
- Frank must be
awfully thirsty by now.
231
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,800
- Yeah, oh, you know what?
232
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,001
He likes it
when I give him that.
233
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,403
- About the races--
234
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,104
You don't make
the children race, do you?
235
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,139
- Oh, no, no.
236
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,707
- No, no.
Adults only.
237
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,843
Yeah, you got to be
at least this tall.
238
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,912
- So that's how you both fell?
239
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,814
A race around the house,
240
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:27,018
Which you often do
as a tradition?
241
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,953
- Uh, yeah.
242
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,989
- Stupid, humped-up
termite trap!
243
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:45,437
- Oh, my god!
244
00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,739
Frank, are you all right?
245
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:51,009
- Holy crap!
246
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,077
- Don't move.
247
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,878
I'm coming right down!
248
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,381
- I'm in enough pain!
249
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,790
- There you go.
250
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,392
- I must say,
you're doing surprisingly well
251
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,960
After taking such a fall,
mr. Barone.
252
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,795
No injuries
other than a broken rib.
253
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,464
- Oh, thank god!
254
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:14,466
- You heard what he said.
I'm fine.
255
00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:17,102
No kissing.
256
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,170
- I told him
not to fix the stairs.
257
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,206
I knew something
like this would happen.
258
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,475
I can't bear
to see him hurt.
259
00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:27,245
Why are you
such a stubborn idiot?
260
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:31,316
- Doctor,
can I have this removed?
261
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,051
- Doctor, before you go,
262
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:37,155
Is there such a thing
as a personality transplant?
263
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:42,360
- Okay, crazies,
we're in public here.
264
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,796
- Hey, doc, what's this stuff
drippin' into me?
265
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,064
- Oh,
that's just some painkiller
266
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,432
To help with any discomfort.
267
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,502
- But I'm not experiencing
any discomfort.
268
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,837
- That's because
it's probably starting to work.
269
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:56,074
- Oh.
270
00:12:56,076 --> 00:13:00,979
Way to go,
tube and baggie.
271
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,347
- Yes.
272
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,048
Now, a nurse will be in
at the end of the day
273
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,884
To give you
your discharge papers.
274
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,987
- Papers? Don't you guys
have bedpans anymore?
275
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:16,094
- You see
what you did to him, huh?
276
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,328
All of this
because you and debra
277
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,797
"fell down the stairs."
278
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,231
- All right, robert.
- Don't, robert.
279
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,900
- Doctor,
while you're still here,
280
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,402
Would you just take a look
at my son's wrist?
281
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,238
- Yeah, and, ray,
when was the last time
282
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,440
Someone looked
at that testicle?
283
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,843
- Dad!
284
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,244
- What?
285
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:36,447
No one's checked it
since he was a kid.
286
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,049
- It's all right, dad.
287
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:42,921
- Hey, hey, hey,
nothin' to be ashamed of.
288
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:46,357
- Okay, dad.
289
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:49,894
- And, debra, you should
show the doctor your shoulder.
290
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,896
- No, I'm fine, frank,
really.
291
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,898
Thank you, though.
292
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,000
- They took a tumble
down the stairs.
293
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,202
- Both of you?
294
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,170
- Unusual, isn't it?
295
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:03,508
- We have
these little races.
296
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,210
- Yeah, you know, ray,
297
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:07,278
Maybe you should let
the doctor check out your wrist.
298
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,013
I'm sure you and debra
want to get back
299
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,983
To your active lifestyle
as soon as possible, hmm?
300
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,918
- It's okay. It's fine.
See? It's all better.
301
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,486
- Really?
Let's arm wrestle.
302
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,588
- Get away.
- Give it to me!
303
00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:18,456
- Get out of here.
304
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,258
- But, doctor, really,
305
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,227
You should take a look
in his shorts.
306
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:25,363
- No!
307
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,600
- There's a problem
with one of the man berries.
308
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:31,636
- Dad!
309
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:35,206
Yeah, it's--never mind.
310
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,075
- Okay, then, if you don't
need me, mr. Barone,
311
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,043
You try
and take it easy.
312
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:42,614
- Okay, and, hey,
you take it easy, too.
313
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,148
Hey!
314
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,885
Peace.
315
00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:52,223
- I'm so sorry
this happened, frank.
316
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:56,194
- Hey, I was happy
to fix your stairs, debra,
317
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,997
Because you
needed it done.
318
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,633
And if I had to break
100 ribs,
319
00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:07,038
It's a small price to pay
for the family stairs.
320
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,907
Yes.
321
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:15,480
I take care of my family.
322
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,115
"family."
323
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:20,551
That's a funny word.
324
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,954
Family.
325
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:26,357
Family, family, family.
326
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,192
- I got to go pick up the kids.
327
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,994
You want to walk me out?
328
00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,429
- Yeah, I'll go with you.
- Okay.
329
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:35,934
- Hey, if you guys are racing,
I get winners.
330
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,303
- We can never
have sex again.
331
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,704
- What?
332
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,206
- Look at your father,
lying in there hurt,
333
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,275
And all because we--
334
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,010
And now whenever--
335
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:49,180
I'm gonna think of him,
workin' on those stairs,
336
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,015
And then all of a sudden,
his little bald head
337
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:55,086
Dropping out of sight.
338
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,555
- Well, here's something
you might try:
339
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,358
Thinking of me
when we're having sex.
340
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,993
- This is awful, ray.
341
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,995
We lied to him,
and now he has a broken rib.
342
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,530
We broke his rib.
343
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,566
We may as well have rolled
off that bed and onto him.
344
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,336
- Hey, are you trying
to put images in my head?
345
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,438
'cause we may
never have sex again!
346
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,706
Hello. Hi.
347
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:17,308
Yeah, look,
this is not our fault.
348
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,010
- Yes, it is!
349
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,612
This is 30% my fault
and 70% yours.
350
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,182
- Where do you come up
with those figures?
351
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,383
- You started the whole thing.
352
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,751
None of this
would have happened
353
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,486
If you didn't have
to tell all your friends
354
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,088
What a big stud you are!
355
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,323
- Oh, why couldn't
the nurse hear that?
356
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,193
Look, the truth is,
none of this would've happened
357
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:38,296
If you didn't have that
second glass of wine that night.
358
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,498
Or if you let me buy
a king-size bed.
359
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,167
Or if just once,
god forbid,
360
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:46,604
You listen to me,
and we could start on the floor!
361
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,409
- We have to do something
for him.
362
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,610
- All right, fine.
363
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,078
- How do we make this up to him?
364
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,480
We have to get him
a satellite dish.
365
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,082
- What? No!
Look, I'll go to the cafeteria.
366
00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:01,152
I'll get him
a nice jell-o parfait.
367
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,021
- We have to make this right.
368
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,223
I cannot go to bed every night
with those images in my head.
369
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,324
- All right.
370
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,092
All right, I'll take care of it.
371
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,561
Last thing you need
is another excuse.
372
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,732
- Oh, raymond,
I'm so glad you're back.
373
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,267
I want to take robbie
and introduce him
374
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,268
To a nurse I just met.
375
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:18,803
Come on, robbie.
376
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,305
- I don't think I should
meet anybody new right now.
377
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:22,774
I didn't wash
my hair today.
378
00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:24,809
- Well,
she works in the hospital.
379
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:28,713
I'm sure she's used
to seeing all kinds of things.
380
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:32,517
- Come back soon,
smushy face.
381
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:35,586
- So how's it going,
okay?
382
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,555
- Sure, I'm fine.
383
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,424
- Good.
Yeah, you look good.
384
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:40,458
Listen--
385
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,793
- I was thinkin',
386
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:44,829
It should be pretty easy
to finish those stairs.
387
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:48,332
The hard part's
already done...
388
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,302
Where I fall through them.
389
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,738
- Yeah, well, you know,
it's all right.
390
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,540
I can hire somebody
to do it now.
391
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:56,674
- No, no, no.
392
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,209
No way.
393
00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,244
I want to fix your stairs.
394
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:04,682
Me, not some guy.
395
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,350
- That's nice.
396
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:09,353
But listen, I feel bad
you got hurt, so I want--
397
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,289
- Hey, don't feel bad.
398
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,225
This is what it's all about.
399
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,259
- What do you mean?
400
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,695
- I'm not an idiot.
401
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:20,465
Remember when you were a kid,
you gave me that mug that said
402
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:23,167
"world's greatest dad"?
403
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:25,336
I hated that.
404
00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:34,812
Because I knew
I was not that mug.
405
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:38,282
And now you got
kids of your own.
406
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,452
The way you are with them...
407
00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:51,896
- What? What, dad?
408
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:57,902
- I liked it when you moved in
across the street,
409
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,637
'cause I could
come to your house,
410
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,140
You could come to my house.
411
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,709
Nothin' much, just...
412
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,713
Doin' stuff, watchin' the game,
413
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,883
Playin' some pool.
414
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:17,655
By the way, one of us
should get a pool table.
415
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,258
It's good what we got,
416
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:23,628
'cause we're pals now.
417
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:31,202
- Debra and I
didn't fall down the stairs.
418
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,637
- What?
419
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:37,842
- We actually hurt ourselves
in the, you know,
420
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,477
Bedroom.
421
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:42,513
- A bedroom race?
422
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,249
- No.
423
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,919
No, no, there are no races,
dad.
424
00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:51,589
- But they're a tradition.
425
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:55,193
- We--we fell off the bed...
426
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,727
Both of us.
427
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,497
Hmm?
428
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:02,867
Dad, we fell off the bed
when we were having sex.
429
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,702
That's how we got hurt.
430
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:09,507
- Then this is about
your testicle.
431
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,709
- Wha--no.
432
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,844
Dad, no, it's not.
433
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,947
I-I lied to you.
I lied to you.
434
00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:17,848
I told you the stairs
were bad
435
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,318
So you wouldn't know
what debra and I were doing,
436
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,620
And you wouldn't have broke
your rib if it wasn't for me,
437
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,823
And I'm buying you
a satellite dish, all right?
438
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:31,462
- Oh,
now, that's a good story.
439
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:35,566
Why didn't you
just tell me that story?
440
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,902
- Because it's
like a sex story,
441
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,771
And I don't feel comfortable,
you know,
442
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,474
Telling you
that kind of stuff.
443
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,277
- But we're pals.
444
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:51,782
- Okay, we're pals.
445
00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:57,021
- Hey, you want
to know somethin', pal?
446
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,357
Could I tell you a story?
447
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,325
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
448
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:04,562
- One night your mother
had a little too much kahlua--
449
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:05,730
- No, no, no, dad!
450
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:06,764
No.
451
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,532
- But it's story time.
452
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:10,001
- No, look,
you need your rest.
453
00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:11,402
- Wait, you'll love this.
454
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,271
- No, no, no, sweet dreams,
pal.
455
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,706
- It was cold outside...
456
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:22,480
- All right, here you go.
457
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:24,915
- So how's that rib doin',
frank?
458
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,584
- Oh, it's coming along,
459
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:30,788
Although I still can't
burp the way I like.
460
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,025
- Well, you stick to your rehab.
461
00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:36,360
- I'm happy
to be out of that hospital.
462
00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:38,396
Boy, they had me so drugged up,
463
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:41,599
I didn't know
whether I was comin' or goin'.
464
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:46,370
- I thought what
they had you on was marvelous.
465
00:21:46,372 --> 00:21:49,440
I'm gonna call mexico and try
to get some for the house.
32369
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