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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:03,302 - marie, door! 2 00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:05,404 - I'm in the kitchen. 3 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:08,140 Put your pants on and get it yourself! 4 00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:12,044 - I got pants on. 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,713 I'm comin' already! 6 00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,651 Marco. 7 00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:23,255 - Is this a bad time? 8 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,323 - No, no, no. 9 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:27,059 For you, I zip. 10 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,594 Hey, come on in. 11 00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:31,130 It's, uh, good to see you. 12 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:33,032 - Nice seeing you. 13 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,666 Maybe sometime we play bocce, like in Italy. 14 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,769 - Yeah, great. 15 00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:38,504 So how do you like livin' in america? 16 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,472 How's the restaurant business? 17 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,141 - Ah, it's not like home. 18 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,644 Everybody, they steal here. All the time. 19 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,613 - They don't steal in Italy? 20 00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:52,151 - In Italy, they steal only once. 21 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,719 - You want a beer? 22 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,387 - Is your wife here? 23 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,823 - Yeah, but she won't bother us. 24 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,324 Sit down. Open your pants. 25 00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:03,629 - Who is it--oh! 26 00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:06,765 Hello, marco. What a nice surprise. 27 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,200 - Buon giorno. 28 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,668 - Yeah, buon giorno. 29 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:12,071 That's italian for "beer, marie!" 30 00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,773 - Right away, frank. 31 00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,742 Would you like it in a bottle over your head 32 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,278 Or in a can somewhere else? 33 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,748 - Scusa, marie, but I come to see you. 34 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:23,849 - Really? 35 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,350 - My daughter stefania says 36 00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,186 You're a great teacher of piano. 37 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,656 With respect, I ask you for favor. 38 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,758 Could you teach me? 39 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,326 - What, are you kidding? 40 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,663 - My mother, all her life, she loves music. 41 00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,731 She always wants me to play. 42 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,734 But then when she gets sick, I promise her to learn... 43 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,736 Then she die. 44 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,338 - Oh... 45 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,507 - So you're off the hook. 46 00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,511 - Frank! 47 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:55,747 That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard, marco. 48 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,649 - But it was a long time ago. 49 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,618 I'm afraid now, maybe I'm too old. 50 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:03,222 - Oh, no, you're never too old to do something for your mother. 51 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,124 Come on, I'll teach you right now. 52 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,358 - Now? 53 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,129 We're gonna have a beer here! 54 00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:11,697 - Beer? 55 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:17,236 Here is a man who thirsts for something more than alcohol. 56 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:20,672 Here's a man who wants music in his life. 57 00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:26,612 - I could use a little music in my life. 58 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,881 The sweet sound of the white coats 59 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:31,550 Coming to take you off to the nut farm. 60 00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,422 - You gotta believe. 61 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,658 - I can't believe the jets are going to win. 62 00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:44,263 - Hey, dad, the jets just tied it! 63 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,430 - Give it up, papa! 64 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:47,266 - Get away from me, ya moron. 65 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,669 - What's with you? 66 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,171 - The jets, man. They tied the game. 67 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,505 - Would you can it? 68 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,440 I'm trying to watch the game here. 69 00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,643 Chips, debra! 70 00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,945 - Hey, dad, if you're gonna be like that, 71 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:02,514 Why don't you just go watch the game at your own house? 72 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,316 - I can't. 73 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:07,452 Your mother's giving marco another piano lesson. 74 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,621 - Didn't he have one yesterday? 75 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,356 - Every day... 76 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:14,193 For two weeks now. 77 00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,594 - Marco? 78 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,462 The only thing I see that guy playing 79 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,464 Is the organ in a haunted house. 80 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:23,869 - That's a good one. 81 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,771 - It's not just the lessons anymore. 82 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,372 They're hanging out now. 83 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,374 They're friends. 84 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:33,412 chips, frank. 85 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,814 - Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, friends? 86 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,816 - They're together all the time playing piano, 87 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,418 Swappin' recipes. 88 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,853 Sometimes they sit and listen to opera... 89 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,655 And cry! 90 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,425 - Sounds like this is bothering you a little bit, frank. 91 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,860 - Opera, just what the world needs... 92 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,396 More fat women screaming. 93 00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,438 - You know what I think? 94 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,841 I think maybe you're a little bit jealous, frank. 95 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:03,875 - Shut up. 96 00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:06,945 are you a little jealous, frankie? 97 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,447 Are you just a little bit jealous? 98 00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,848 - No, don't do that, honey. 99 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,450 - Yeah, careful. Watch your finger. 100 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,353 - All right! 101 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,355 So I'm a little jealous! 102 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,457 He shouldn't be with her! 103 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,592 He should be with me! 104 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,732 - What? - Huh? 105 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,533 - He was my friend first! 106 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,336 We played bocce in Italy. 107 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:35,774 Now he comes in the door-- it's like I don't exist. 108 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,609 - Oh, cheer up, dad. 109 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:41,947 I'm sure there's a guy out there for you somewhere. 110 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:46,385 - Yeah, maybe marco has a brother... 111 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,720 In the bell tower. 112 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,825 - I want him out of my house. 113 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,527 - So throw him out. 114 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,063 - Ray, let your parents work this out for themselves. 115 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,432 - I'm just saying, you want someone out of your house, 116 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,566 You throw 'em out. 117 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,636 - Yeah, you're the expert. 118 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,072 - You, out! 119 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,308 I'm kidding. You stay. 120 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,711 - Hey, he can't just throw him out. 121 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,579 I mean, marco's not the kind of guy you mess with. 122 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,081 - Marco? 123 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,750 That guy's no bigger than a bag of laundry. 124 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,585 - Remember when he took over nemo's pizza? 125 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,421 And I said, "what happened to nemo?" 126 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,790 And he looked at me with that face and said, 127 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,459 "he go away." 128 00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,828 Has anybody seen nemo since? 129 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,896 Huh? Postcard? 130 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,064 Anything? No. 131 00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,732 Marco knows how to make people go away, 132 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,102 And that's all I'm saying. 133 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,538 - He don't scare me, and I'm throwing him out! 134 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,872 - Oh, wait a minute, frank. 135 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,607 Why don't you just tell marco how you feel? 136 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,743 That you want to be his friend too. 137 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,779 - What am I, wearing a skirt and mary janes? 138 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:52,651 I'm throwin' him out! 139 00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,420 - Say hi to nemo for us. 140 00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:00,892 - And stay out! 141 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:12,504 To learn this before my birthday party. 142 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,674 - You should have great for your birthday, not me. 143 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,043 - Nonsense. You're gonna be wonderful. 144 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,678 But keep practicing, 145 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,046 And then later, we'll make biscotti. 146 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,749 - I like your biscotti. 147 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,817 - I'll go make us some tea. 148 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,494 Mm, mm, mmh! 149 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:40,732 - Listen, marco... 150 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,934 I got somethin' to say to you. 151 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,003 - And I got somethin' to say to you. 152 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,671 Sit! 153 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,643 I cannot help but notice 154 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,879 Every time I have a lesson, you leave. 155 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,113 It's rude. 156 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,516 - I'm sorry. 157 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,588 - No, it is rude of me to invade your house 158 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,958 And take you away from your beautiful wife. 159 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,927 - My what? 160 00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,500 - Forgive me. 161 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,702 You open your house to me, 162 00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:21,039 And I stink it up. 163 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:24,576 - Oh, hey, hey, it doesn't bother me at all. 164 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,912 - You are too kind. 165 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,580 Now, what do you want to say to me? 166 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,516 - Uh... 167 00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:33,952 You play poker? 168 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,688 - I'm good at poker. 169 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:39,191 - There's a game at my lodge tonight. 170 00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:40,459 You in? 171 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,860 - It would be honor, 172 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,762 But first I buy you dinner at my restaurant. 173 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,798 - Don't have to ask me twice. 174 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,200 - Teatime. 175 00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:49,668 - Uh, marie, I'm takin' marco 176 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,236 To the lodge for poker. 177 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,572 - But marco hasn't finished his lesson yet. 178 00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,975 - Marie, I'm done with piano. 179 00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,212 I tried, but I cannot make it work. 180 00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:01,813 - You're quitting? 181 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,150 You can't quit. You promised your mother. 182 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:08,553 - I know. I know, but... 183 00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,255 She's dead. 184 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,633 - But she can still see you. 185 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,802 - I'm sorry, marie. 186 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,237 You come to have dinner with us. 187 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,738 - No, no. I don't think so. 188 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,073 Why don't you boys go to the lodge? 189 00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,208 - You're gonna love the lodge, marco. 190 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,545 They got cards, checkers, a swimming pool. 191 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,847 It's great. Everybody swims naked. 192 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,618 - Is this a heated pool? 193 00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:51,129 - He'll be back. 194 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,599 One look at frank naked-- he'll be back. 195 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:02,674 - Stop it right now! Go to sleep! 196 00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:06,077 - No, no. 197 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,614 No, it's nothing. Debra's readin' them a story. 198 00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,783 All right, listen, remember, we're teeing off at 7:00. 199 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:15,053 Oh, don't be late. All right. 200 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,789 - Why didn't you come up and help me? 201 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,558 - I was talking to gianni. 202 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,893 - Didn't you hear the screaming? 203 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,030 - I heard you screamin'. 204 00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,666 - I'm gonna kill your father. 205 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:33,238 - Oh, no, mom. Don't. 206 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,674 - Marco is my friend. Now I never see him anymore. 207 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,175 He's always with your father. 208 00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:41,613 They're watching sports or swimming nude at the lodge. 209 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:44,883 - There isn't enough chlorine in the world. 210 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,888 - I mean, for the first time in I don't know how long, 211 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,890 I had a real companion, 212 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,058 Someone I could talk to. 213 00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,693 Do something, raymond. 214 00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,794 - Me? What? 215 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,228 - Talk to your father. 216 00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:01,032 - No, no, stick to the plan where you kill him. 217 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,234 - Tell him to leave marco alone. 218 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,370 - Ma, I don't want to get in the middle of this. 219 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,905 - I don't want you in the middle. 220 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,840 I want you on my side. 221 00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,308 - No, look, mom, I think you and dad 222 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,177 Can work this out yourselves, right, deb? 223 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,812 - No, ray. 224 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,147 Tell your father to give her back her friend. 225 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,950 - What happened to "stay out of it"? 226 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,885 - I feel for your mother. 227 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,288 - You do? - Yes. 228 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,723 - Do you think it's easy 229 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,257 For marie to meet people and make friends 230 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,726 When she spent her whole life 231 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,361 Stuck in a house with a lump of a husband 232 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,229 Who, instead of puttin' his own kids to bed, 233 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:35,000 Is on the phone with his pals makin' a golf date? 234 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:41,272 - Why can't you just hate one man a time? 235 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,376 - Hey, marie, tick-tock. 236 00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:46,845 Where's my dinner? 237 00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,316 - Raymond has something to say to you. 238 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,751 - What? 239 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,285 what... 240 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,421 - Stay away from marco. - Yeah. 241 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,294 - Since when do you tell me what to do? 242 00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,900 - I'm not--I'm not talking. They are. 243 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,036 - Marco was my friend. 244 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,171 - Oh, yeah? He traded up. 245 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,243 - That's it, frank. That's it. 246 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,745 You are not invited to my birthday party. 247 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:23,348 - Who needs an invitation? It's at my house! 248 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,150 - Not anymore! 249 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,018 I'm gonna have it right here at raymond's house. 250 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,187 - Thanks a lot! - What did I do? 251 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,789 - Forget it! 252 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,457 I'll just go to the lodge with marco. 253 00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:35,026 - You can't; I've already invited him to the party, 254 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,762 And he's gonna play "happy birthday" to me on the piano. 255 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:41,933 - Where's my dinner? 256 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,768 - At the lodge. 257 00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:52,010 - Next time, you mind your own business! 258 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,885 - What? 259 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,454 - You're really with my mother on this, huh? 260 00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:05,356 That's the horse you're backin'? 261 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:08,860 - Better my horse than your jackass. 262 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,262 - Hey, my jackass happens to have a point, okay? 263 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,931 He's right. 264 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,199 If marco's gonna be with anybody, 265 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,067 It should be him, not her. 266 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,036 - What, your mother's not allowed to have a friend? 267 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:21,306 - Not a male friend, no. She's my mother. 268 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,440 - So? 269 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,175 - So she's a married woman. 270 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,077 It's creepy. 271 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:30,115 - So does that mean that I can't have any male friends? 272 00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,250 - You can have as many male friends as you want, 273 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,286 As long as they're all gay. 274 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,960 - You know, ray, I may have some problems with your mother, 275 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,828 But she can be friends with whoever she wants, 276 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,131 And I'm gonna do whatever I can to encourage her. 277 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,499 - All right, fine! 278 00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:51,536 But from now on in my head, marco's gay. 279 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,311 - Oh. 280 00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:04,916 Marco. 281 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,118 - Happy birthday, marie. 282 00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:10,488 - This is my cousin gina 283 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,791 And my nephew gerard. 284 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,059 And this my dear friend marco foganolo. 285 00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:18,196 I found him in Italy. 286 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:21,566 - How do you do? 287 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,369 - Isn't he delightful? 288 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,238 - He looks so authentic. 289 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:31,075 - I never met an italian from Italy before. 290 00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:34,579 hello... 291 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:42,353 - Where's frank? 292 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,888 - Oh, frank's not coming. 293 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:44,989 - Why not? 294 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:48,593 - He's sick-- swine flu. 295 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,095 - Come on, ray, are you gonna sit there all day? 296 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,297 Just join the party. 297 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,499 - No, no. It's not right. 298 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:58,203 My mom and her... Boyfriend. 299 00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,971 - I thought you made him gay. 300 00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:04,142 - Yeah, well, I'm the only one who knows that. 301 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,911 No, I mean, come on, my dad should be here. 302 00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,113 - Hmm, what is it that you miss the most-- 303 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,482 The burping, the finger in the frosting, 304 00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,419 His wiping his mouth on the curtains? 305 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:18,857 - If you must know, I miss the shirttail out the fly. 306 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,596 - Aaaarh! Come on! 307 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,304 - Be careful, robert, you'll scratch the finish. 308 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,875 - Ma. 309 00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,643 Ma, why is your piano comin' into my house? 310 00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,211 - Oh, it's for the party. 311 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,646 Marco's gonna play me "happy birthday." 312 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:44,048 - Uhhh! 313 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,552 Thanks, everybody. I got it. 314 00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:53,157 Yeow! Ooh! Gaw! 315 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:58,363 Ooooh! 316 00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,531 Oh! 317 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:03,534 - Is it your back? 318 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:12,210 - No. I'm from japan. 319 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,046 I bring greetings from the emperor. 320 00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:20,518 - Ray, get him some ice. 321 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,087 - Fabulous party. 322 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,362 - Aah! 323 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,231 What are you-- 324 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,499 Where'd you come from? 325 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,034 - The laundry room. 326 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,169 - How long you been hiding in there? 327 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:42,674 - Long enough to see you could use some new underwear. 328 00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:48,146 - Yeah, well, I could use some now. 329 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,982 - Get marco in here. I want to talk to him. 330 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,117 - Ray, where's the-- 331 00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,485 What are you doing here? 332 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,688 - Burping. 333 00:15:56,690 --> 00:16:01,192 Now maybe I'll wipe my mouth on the curtain. 334 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,729 - Uhh, uhh, uhh, uhh, uhh, uhh... 335 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,297 - Aw, come on. 336 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:10,635 It's not like it's a grand piano. 337 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,603 - What are you doing here? 338 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,039 - I'm just stopping by to see if my friend marco 339 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,708 Wants to play some bocce. 340 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:19,410 - Well, he doesn't, because he's here for me. 341 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,245 - Well, he'd rather be with me. 342 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:22,580 He likes me better. 343 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,350 - Ha! Nobody likes you better. 344 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,452 - Oh, yeah? Let's ask him. 345 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,153 - Oh, you can't do that, frank. 346 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,655 - Well, why not? Bring him in here. 347 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,291 - Hey, mind your own business. - You scared? 348 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,593 - Frank, you are ruining my birthday party! 349 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,228 - You've ruined everything else! 350 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,563 Marco! 351 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,732 - Excuse me, how's that ice coming? 352 00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:44,669 - All right, robert. Jeez. 353 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,671 - Hey, marco. 354 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,740 Whose friend do you want to be? 355 00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:51,476 - Frank, I thought you had the swine flu. 356 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:52,777 - She told you that? 357 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,613 You will stop at nothing. 358 00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,215 Who do you want to stick with, 359 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,616 Me or the liar? 360 00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:02,754 - You want me to choose? 361 00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,288 - That's right. 362 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:05,590 She thinks you like her better 363 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,191 And want to be her friend. 364 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,526 - Why shouldn't he be her friend? 365 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,761 They enjoy each other. 366 00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,696 - Sure, now, 367 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,631 But he's gonna find it's a quick trip to nagville. 368 00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:17,702 Am I wrong? 369 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,504 It's already started with the piano lessons. 370 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,105 You said yourself 371 00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,507 You didn't want to play piano anymore. 372 00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,610 - Somebody could have told me. 373 00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:32,216 - Why can't I be both your friends? 374 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,351 - Well, for one thing, 375 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:34,585 I find that people who like me 376 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:38,056 Generally can't stand him. 377 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,257 - Ma, I don't get this, 378 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,525 There's got to be plenty of ladies 379 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,826 You can be friends with out there. 380 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,729 Hit the bingo circuit. 381 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,764 - What about your father? 382 00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:51,102 There's enough naked, wrinkly old men at the lodge for him. 383 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:54,839 - Please, I'm already in the vomiting position. 384 00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:58,676 - So pick already. 385 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,511 - I don't like this. 386 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,080 This is not right. 387 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,582 This is not a husband and wife. 388 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:08,786 Before my wife died, we were friends. 389 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,427 - Are you gonna pick or not? 390 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,367 - This is what you really want? 391 00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:28,506 I choose frank. 392 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,274 - Yes. 393 00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:37,115 - I'm sorry. 394 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,850 - No, listen, I understand. 395 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,618 - I did not want to choose. 396 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,453 - You don't have to explain, marco. 397 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,622 Why don't we all have some cake? 398 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,362 - Hey, marie, wait a second. 399 00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:57,235 You take him. 400 00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,305 - No, that's okay, frank. 401 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,741 You don't have to do that. You keep him. 402 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:10,214 - No, I don't want him anymore. 403 00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,416 - I want you two guys to go and have fun. 404 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:13,818 Go to the lodge. 405 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,554 - Nah, I got plenty of friends at the lodge, 406 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:20,358 So, uh...You take him. 407 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,627 - Frank, I don't want him all the time. 408 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,630 Can't you take him some of the time? 409 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,832 - So now you're sticking me with him? 410 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,935 - This is so typical of you. 411 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,739 - Hey. Cake! 412 00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:40,511 - All right, so you should play "happy birthday" on the piano. 413 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,248 - All right, I'm gonna play a dirty version, though. 414 00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,651 tiny butt day to you 415 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,488 - Rejected by both of them. 416 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,658 Boy, I know how that feels. 417 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,194 That's all right, marco. Let it out. 418 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,596 Let it all out. 419 00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:04,202 That's it. 420 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,375 - So that was a good party. 421 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,744 - What? How was that good for your mother? 422 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,379 You guys made her lose a friend. 423 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,248 - Aw, come on. Don't start. 424 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,550 - Listen, ray, I want to tell you something. 425 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,485 If I meet somebody and I want to be their friend, 426 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,988 I'm not gonna tolerate any of your caveman crap. 427 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,624 I don't care what sex they are; a friend is a friend, 428 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,893 And I can be friends with whoever I want. 429 00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,533 - Hello. I am looking for my father. 430 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:36,968 He is here? 431 00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:40,004 - No, no, he isn't, but come in, friend. 29845

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