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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:06,305
- "so the lion got some cream
for his chicken pox."
2
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,274
- How many more
before michael?
3
00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:10,609
- Shh!
4
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,444
- 40 minutes already.
- Quiet.
5
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,347
- "and his mommy
put the cream on,
6
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,216
And he felt better."
7
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,584
The end.
8
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:21,387
- Thank you, gracie.
9
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:24,523
That was a wonderful
and very imaginative story.
10
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,025
And now we have ian.
11
00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:27,626
- Oh, crap.
12
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,232
- "escape from the blue planet."
13
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:36,735
- Finally, science fiction.
14
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,204
- "the rocket ship landed
on the blue planet
15
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,740
That was filled
with water."
16
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,375
- You don't think
this is nice?
17
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,210
You know, they wrote these
all by themselves.
18
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:48,480
- No kidding.
19
00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,282
- "and the rocket got stuck,
20
00:00:50,284 --> 00:00:52,684
But the pilot
had some extra gas."
21
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,353
- He's not the only one.
22
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:59,258
- "so that is how
they were able to escape
23
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,826
From the blue planet."
24
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,162
The end.
25
00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:07,466
- Wonderful, ian,
and very exciting.
26
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,834
Michael, it's your turn.
27
00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,569
- Thank god.
28
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,438
We go after this.
29
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:18,544
- "the angry family."
30
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,496
"the daddy was mad
at the mommy."
31
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:46,638
"the mommy was mad
at the daddy."
32
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:55,581
- "the mommy and daddy
were very mad at the grandpa.
33
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,256
The grandma got mad
at everybody."
34
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:06,391
- I did not.
35
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,194
It's wonderful.
36
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:14,700
- "the grownups
were always very loud.
37
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:18,337
It hurt the kids' ears."
38
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,571
The end.
39
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,492
Let's watch tv!
- Yeah!
40
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,894
- Yay!
- Let's watch tv!
41
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:43,862
- Whoo!
42
00:02:57,310 --> 00:03:01,180
- Well, I can't go there
anymore.
43
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:02,881
The looks I was getting--
44
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,551
I've never gotten looks
like that in my life.
45
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,719
- You ought to watch me more.
46
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,427
- How could you let michael
write something like that?
47
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,296
- We didn't know anything
about this.
48
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,498
Eileen let the kids write
whatever they wanted.
49
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,868
- Who's eileen?
- The teacher.
50
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,537
Look, I'm not thrilled about
this either, but, you know,
51
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,806
Kids should be able to
express what they're feeling.
52
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:31,310
- What a load of bull.
53
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:33,812
Here's a perfect example
of your liberal,
54
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:37,583
"free to be a bird or bee"
college claptrap
55
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,319
Comin' home to bite
your whole family in the ass.
56
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,259
- Oh?
57
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,927
The whole family?
58
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,663
The whole family?
What am I?
59
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,599
I wasn't even mentioned
in that book.
60
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,704
- What, you're insulted
'cause you weren't insulted?
61
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,440
- I'm insulted that you have
brainwashed your children
62
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,408
Into thinking
the only thing I'm good for
63
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,011
Is to hold up a piƱata.
64
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,779
- And I don't look like that.
- What?
65
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,348
- The kid's illustrations.
66
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,916
People are gonna think
I look like that.
67
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,784
- Okay, everyone,
68
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,320
Could we all please
just go home?
69
00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,322
- Debra's right.
We got to talk to michael.
70
00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:19,491
- You gonna punish him?
I want input.
71
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:20,726
- All right,
come on, come on.
72
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,828
- Nobody's punishing anyone.
73
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,563
- Of course not.
74
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,465
God forbid someone's
feelings should get hurt.
75
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,367
- Well, my feelings are hurt.
- Mine too!
76
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,835
Nobody cares!
77
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,837
- I'm writing my own book.
- Get out.
78
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,441
- That's the title.
79
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,383
- Michael.
- Hey, whoa.
80
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,951
What are you gonna do?
- I want to talk to him.
81
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,653
Michael, could you
come in here, please?
82
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,321
- Be careful what you say.
- Don't worry.
83
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,389
- He writes it down.
84
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:57,462
- Sweetie, I just want
to ask you something.
85
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:02,334
Do you think that your family
is "the angry family"?
86
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,670
It's okay, honey,
you can tell us.
87
00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:07,472
Ray, you want to --
- nope.
88
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:13,312
- I loved your story, michael.
89
00:05:13,314 --> 00:05:15,013
Said daddy.
90
00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:21,920
- Go on, watch tv.
91
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,656
What is wrong with you?
- What?
92
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,458
Hey, if you were
on top of stuff,
93
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,527
You could have stopped
the story from leakin' out.
94
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:33,031
- I am on top of stuff!
What do you do, huh?
95
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,767
Look, those stories
were supposed to be a surprise
96
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,002
For the parents.
97
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,804
- A surprise for the parents?
98
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,472
I think a surprise is,
99
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,074
You get to the school
and there's an open bar.
100
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,050
No, this was like an ambush.
101
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,585
- And you can't even see
102
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:55,087
What the real problem
is here, can you?
103
00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:57,122
There's an image
that michael has of us.
104
00:05:57,124 --> 00:06:00,592
- Come on, we're normal.
105
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,695
Comparatively normal.
106
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,830
Watch the news.
107
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,098
- Please.
108
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:08,633
- Although I will say,
109
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:11,436
There are times
when you seem to yell
110
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:14,506
For no reason, you know?
111
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:18,844
Maybe...Maybe that's what
he's pickin' up on.
112
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:21,680
- I'm pretty sure that
most of the leading characters
113
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,916
In that story
were from the barone side.
114
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:28,687
- Yeah, okay, but the loud part,
I'm thinkin', is probably you.
115
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,689
- So you're blaming me?
116
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,524
You're completely free
and clear?
117
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,092
- I'm sorry,
but I am not the yeller.
118
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:35,827
- You are the reason
for the yeller!
119
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,662
- Well, you assume
that there must be yelling!
120
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,398
- Yeah, you're damn right
there's yell--
121
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,666
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Hey!
122
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:42,734
What, honey?
123
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,935
- Can I have a juice?
124
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,404
- Sure, sweetie.
- Yeah, sure.
125
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:46,705
Yeah, we can do that,
right, mommy?
126
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:48,974
- Oh, thank you, daddy.
127
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,675
Thank you.
128
00:07:04,857 --> 00:07:06,958
We have problems.
129
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,093
- It's all right.
All right?
130
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,528
- No, it is not all right.
131
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:10,829
This argument just now
132
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,564
Is exactly what michael
was referring to.
133
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,199
- Well, you don't got to
worry about this one,
134
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,567
Because that was geoffrey.
135
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,503
Phone.
136
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,706
Hello?
137
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,809
Oh, hi, eileen.
138
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:27,846
Yeah, hi.
139
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,514
how are ya?
140
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,650
Yeah, oh, no,
that was a great open house.
141
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:34,619
Yeah.
Dynamite.
142
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,687
What conference?
143
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:40,192
- Oh, oh, that's this week too.
144
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:42,227
Yeah, right, with the parents.
Uh-huh.
145
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:44,129
Yeah, I guess we must've
forgot about it.
146
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:47,032
Yeah, it wasn't like we were
trying to run out or anything,
147
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:50,068
Yeah, yeah, no, 'cause,
uh, we want to talk to you.
148
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,102
We love you.
149
00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:55,740
All right, okay.
150
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,175
Yeah, sure,
we'll see you tomorrow.
151
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,778
Okay, bye-bye.
152
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,749
- Listen, about tomorrow,
you know.
153
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,985
I got a pretty big day, so--
- you don't want to finish that.
154
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,687
- All right, okay.
155
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,823
- And did you have to sound
so guilty on the phone?
156
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:15,026
- How about you?
You ran away like a little girl.
157
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:27,005
- Okay.
So how are you?
158
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:30,108
- Terrific.
159
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,645
So...That was so,
so funny yesterday.
160
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:37,015
- What was?
- Michael's book.
161
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,049
"angry family."
162
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,588
I don't know where he...
Anyway.
163
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,923
Um, it's great to be here.
164
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,725
Happy to discuss everything.
165
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,260
- I was really impressed
with what michael
166
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,828
Wrote about in his book,
weren't you?
167
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,963
- Me? Uh, definitely.
168
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,932
Oh, definitely.
169
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:59,170
Um, but I do think
that his book was just a story.
170
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:02,674
And, yes, obviously all stories
do come from somewhere.
171
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,909
- Well, not all of 'em.
172
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,210
- Hmm?
173
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,212
- I was just thinking
something--
174
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:10,549
I was just thinking some stories
come from...
175
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:13,184
Like those shows you go to
where they say,
176
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,786
"give us a location,"
177
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,322
And then the audience goes,
"an elevator!"
178
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,157
You know, and then they say,
179
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,926
"what language should we do"
or something.
180
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,294
And you go, "french!"
181
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:23,662
You know,
and then they do
182
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,697
A hilarious thing right there.
183
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,766
You know?
"second floor. Croissants."
184
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,201
You know?
Yeah.
185
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:34,339
They just make that stuff up
right there on the spot.
186
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:43,815
So that would be one example
where some stories do come from.
187
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,851
- Is that what michael did?
188
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,753
- Probably not.
189
00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:54,092
- Please stop.
190
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,594
- I'm just--
I'm talking to eileen.
191
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,729
- Eileen, um,
192
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,864
Did michael
say anything to you?
193
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:02,701
I mean, did he say
anything specific about home?
194
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,270
- And remember,
children lie.
195
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:08,607
- Ray, we have
nothing to hide.
196
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,041
I don't know what
he's so afraid of,
197
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,677
I mean,
'cause we're a normal family,
198
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,346
Comparatively.
199
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:16,081
I mean, watch the news.
200
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,088
- That was mine,
the normal thing.
201
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,056
She stole that from me.
202
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,858
- It is not your thing.
203
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,327
We are normal.
204
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,863
- You know,
we do have counselors.
205
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,898
Father hubley is very good.
206
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,700
- No, no, that's
the last thing that we need.
207
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,302
- Why do you say that?
208
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,204
- Because then everybody's
talkin' about it--
209
00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,872
- What are you--
210
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,374
Why do you have to be
so closed-minded?
211
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:43,942
You see,
this is the attitude.
212
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:45,310
- I'm not closed-minded.
213
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,278
what are you doing right now?
214
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,847
This is who you are.
215
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,949
Why can't you just
talk about things, huh?
216
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,183
Talk!
217
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,123
-You know, I have to say
218
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,291
That you're actually exhibiting
some of the very traits
219
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,193
That seem to jump off the page
in michael's book.
220
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,396
- Who?
- Oh...
221
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:07,132
you.
222
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:10,769
- Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
223
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:13,805
First of all,
it's not a book.
224
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:16,207
It's pieces of
construction paper.
225
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,777
- You sound a bit closed-minded.
- Hey.
226
00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,415
Eileen...
227
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:30,088
You have no idea
what I have to put up with.
228
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,857
When I got married,
I didn't just get a husband.
229
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,259
I got a whole freak show
230
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:37,429
That set up their tent
right across the street.
231
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,768
And that would be fine,
232
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:45,136
If they stayed there.
233
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,939
But every day, every day,
234
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:51,309
They dump a truckload
of their insane family dreck
235
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:52,777
Into my lap.
236
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,212
How would you
like to sit through
237
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,714
Two people in their 60s
238
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,949
Fighting over
who invented the lawn?
239
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,818
The lawn!
240
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,186
And then the brother:
241
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:02,921
"I live in an apartment.
242
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,322
"I don't even have a lawn.
243
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,257
Raymond has a lawn."
244
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,460
But you can't blame him
when you see who the mother is.
245
00:12:08,462 --> 00:12:11,963
She has this kind of sick hold
on the both of them.
246
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,898
And the father's about
as disgusting a creature
247
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,367
As god has ever dropped
on this planet.
248
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:18,303
So no wonder
the kid writes stories!
249
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,838
I should be
writing stories.
250
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,206
My life is a gothic novel,
251
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,974
And until you have
lived in that house
252
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,343
With all of them in there
with you day after day,
253
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,046
Week after week,
year after friggin' year,
254
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:31,015
You are in no position
to judge me!
255
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:52,303
- Where are you in here,
robert?
256
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,141
- Exactly.
257
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,345
- I'll tell you
what concerns me.
258
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:03,882
I want to know why I was drawn
completely without hair.
259
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:06,251
That is an exaggeration
which I do not appreciate.
260
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,219
- All right, now,
261
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,054
All right,
there's no need for tension.
262
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:11,523
We all have enough tension.
263
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:17,262
Believe me, this job pounds
the life out of you.
264
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,497
Eileen, maybe you'd
like to start with--
265
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,532
- No, thank you.
266
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:22,000
- What?
267
00:13:25,337 --> 00:13:26,905
- Listen, eileen, again,
268
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,040
I am so sorry about
getting a little testy
269
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,141
With you yesterday.
270
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,209
That's really not like me.
271
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:34,312
- Yeah, yeah, fine, fine.
272
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,814
Adam.
273
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,882
Adam is
the school's counselor,
274
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,984
And we thought we'd like to
have this little talk today
275
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,353
To see if maybe
we can help you people.
276
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,588
Okay?
277
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:48,092
Go on, adam.
278
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,261
- Sure.
279
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,163
Hi, everyone.
280
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,866
I'm adam burke,
and I am the school's counselor,
281
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,869
But I like to think of myself
more as a facilitator.
282
00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:01,272
- Oh, jeez.
283
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,576
- So here's a question.
284
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:07,378
Do any of you ever feel
that the anger
285
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,614
Gets out of control?
286
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:10,982
- No way.
- No, I really don't.
287
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:14,152
- Yes.
- What?
288
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,453
- Yes, I do feel
that the anger
289
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,355
Sometimes gets
out of control.
290
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:21,292
I feel it whenever
I come into the house.
291
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:25,263
- There is a solution.
292
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,101
- I don't understand.
293
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:33,972
I am there in a loving,
nurturing capacity,
294
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:36,274
As is my wont.
295
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:40,011
- Well, then,
maybe we should ask ourselves,
296
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:43,348
"where could the anger
in this family be coming from?"
297
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,388
- No, all right.
I am not gonna--
298
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,290
I do not want to sit here!
299
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,626
- No, no, no. Stop, stop.
300
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,465
- I'm fine.
My apologies.
301
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,400
Ray, you know what?
302
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,903
I don't think people need to
hear my side of things again.
303
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:08,473
Maybe you could
say something objective.
304
00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:11,910
- Okay.
305
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,950
Uh, all I know is...
306
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:24,622
Debra's good.
307
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,424
She's really, really good.
308
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,093
You know,
she's got a lot of stuff to do,
309
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,930
And that's why,
310
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,666
If she's all...
311
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,012
That's why.
312
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:52,383
If I may...
313
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:53,685
You mentioned,
father hubley,
314
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:56,020
That I was not
included in that book,
315
00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:59,991
And that is
a very astute observation.
316
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,260
And I do believe
that my unique position
317
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,095
In this family,
318
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,230
As that of an outsider,
319
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,099
Allows me to view
320
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,702
This hodgepodge of life
321
00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:14,138
From a rather unique
vantage point.
322
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,407
- Top of a beanstalk?
323
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,246
- And I do maintain
324
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:25,049
That if anyone
is to blame, father,
325
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:27,385
For this river
of pent-up hostility
326
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,020
That runs
through this sorry bunch
327
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:32,690
Like you-know-what
through a we-know-what,
328
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:36,127
That person goes by
the name of raymond.
329
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,628
- Oh, sit down, you dope.
330
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,698
- He is and always has been
the center:
331
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,700
The center of attention,
332
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,535
The center of affection.
333
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,372
He always gets
the center chair in the kitchen.
334
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,574
And this anger
of which you speak,
335
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:52,110
From the rest of
these poor souls,
336
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:56,247
Stems from his unwillingness
to share
337
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,783
Even the tiniest portion
of the spotlight
338
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:03,554
That shines,
without end on him.
339
00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:10,695
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
340
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:13,598
- What are you doing?
341
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,133
"center chair."
342
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,667
It's my kitchen.
Get your own kitchen.
343
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,136
- There you go,
you see,
344
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,437
Because I only have
a kitchenette,
345
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,605
And he loves it!
346
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,706
Right,
"rub it in" raymond?
347
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,307
No house for me.
348
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,676
No wife, no kids,
no lawn, no nothin'!
349
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:28,079
- Hey, father,
let me ask you somethin'.
350
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,148
Would you know
who invented the lawn?
351
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,716
- Oh!
352
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,351
Would you stop?
353
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:34,519
No one invented it.
354
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:35,553
It's grass.
355
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,587
- Oh, yeah?
356
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:38,189
So cavemen had lawns?
357
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,559
- Yes, they were called
"fields," you baboon.
358
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,227
- You want to know
359
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,096
Where all the tension
in the family comes from?
360
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,798
I'm chained to it.
361
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,733
Here she is.
362
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,802
And if you're lookin' to
find out why she's like this,
363
00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:53,471
I'm givin' it to you,
for once and for all.
364
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,673
You ready?
365
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,443
There, right there!
366
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,611
She married him!
367
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,747
And this one still
can't deal with it!
368
00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:13,458
- How dare you?
369
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,626
- It-it-it's all right, mrs.--
- You hold on.
370
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:21,399
You think michael's book
is my fault, don't you?
371
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,668
Don't you, huh?
372
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:26,170
If there's ever a problem
in the family, it's the mother.
373
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,406
It's always the mother.
374
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,808
Well, you all ought to be
ashamed of yourselves.
375
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:34,579
And you, you--
you allow that, father hubley?
376
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,481
Shame on you.
377
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,449
That's right.
You had a mother.
378
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,251
And you allow
all this to happen
379
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,652
In your school,
in your parish.
380
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,287
This "new psychology,"
381
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,256
That children
are always right.
382
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,658
They're being rewarded
for every little thing they do
383
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,360
With the stickers.
384
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,362
I mean, these kids
are comin' home full of stickers
385
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,830
For doing nothing!
386
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:55,333
"ooh, I went to the potty."
387
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,734
"here's a sticker."
388
00:18:58,403 --> 00:19:01,305
In my day,
you had to earn a reward,
389
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,540
And even then,
you didn't get it.
390
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:03,908
And if there was
yelling in the house,
391
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,376
You earned that too.
392
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:06,677
There was nothing
to be ashamed of.
393
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,212
I want to tell you
something.
394
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,780
There is nothing wrong
with this family.
395
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,682
We're very close.
We're very open.
396
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,218
We're very loving,
'cause I make sure of it.
397
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,587
But everybody
has to make a big deal.
398
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,189
You have to have a meeting.
399
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,357
You have to have an inquiry.
400
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,926
You have to have
a witch hunt.
401
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,895
- I think they found one.
402
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:37,909
- Well, thank you, everybody,
403
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:42,180
For a lovely morning.
404
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,781
Believe it or not,
405
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:46,450
I do understand
the pressures and tensions
406
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,753
Of raising a family
in today's world.
407
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:52,890
But I think
this particular family
408
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,759
Compounds the problem
409
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:57,595
By maybe being a bit too close
to each other constantly,
410
00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:01,265
Like ping-pong balls pounding
and hitting off each other
411
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:03,768
In the lottery machine.
412
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:09,407
Except nobody wins in this one,
413
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,275
Least of all
the children,
414
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:14,679
Which is what I got
from this book.
415
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:22,954
So it's not about you, or you,
or you, or you,
416
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:26,290
Or even raymond today.
417
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:28,559
It's about
this little guy
418
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:32,363
And this sweet, simple way
of maybe
419
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,498
Giving you a message.
420
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:58,022
- Now, we have
these parenting books
421
00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,590
That you might want
to take a look at--
422
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,960
- I'll try one.
- Oh, I'll take one.
423
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:05,296
- We'll take 'em all.
We'll take 'em all.
424
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:06,964
- Now, now, give me one.
They're not all for you.
425
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:09,033
- Relax, dad.
You're gonna get one!
426
00:21:14,673 --> 00:21:15,940
Hey!
- Hey!
427
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,476
- Come here, you.
- Come here.
428
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:19,777
- What'd you do,
go to the bathroom?
429
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,612
- Yeah, your light's on.
430
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:22,980
- Yeah, that's 'cause
we're readin'.
431
00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:24,548
- We're readin'
a couple books here.
432
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,317
Give me that head.
Give me that.
433
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:27,451
Hey, it's time for bed, dude.
434
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:28,953
- Okay?
- Come on.
435
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:31,055
See ya tomorrow, okay?
- See you in the morning, honey.
436
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:32,857
Hey, listen, michael,
437
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:34,859
We really loved
your story you wrote,
438
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,427
And we learned a lot
from it.
439
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,962
- I like that cartoon.
440
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,497
- What cartoon?
441
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,032
- "monster maniacs."
442
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:42,366
They're really funny.
443
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:43,634
They're always yelling.
31192
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