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1
00:00:00,005 --> 00:00:01,881
-[Velma] Previously on Velma...
-[electricity crackling]
2
00:00:01,965 --> 00:00:03,383
What I did was wrong.
3
00:00:03,466 --> 00:00:05,135
I'm just so desperate
to stop my hallucinations.
4
00:00:05,176 --> 00:00:07,595
Then you leave me no choice
but to help you cure them.
5
00:00:07,637 --> 00:00:11,725
And you should hope
I still wanna jump your bones
once you're damage free.
6
00:00:11,808 --> 00:00:13,518
[Velma] So, someone
is now killing men
7
00:00:13,601 --> 00:00:16,145
associated with
Dr. Perdue's journals
8
00:00:16,229 --> 00:00:17,647
and removing their dongs.
9
00:00:18,481 --> 00:00:19,983
Have you heard of manifesting?
10
00:00:20,025 --> 00:00:21,317
As tolerant as I've become,
11
00:00:21,401 --> 00:00:24,112
I still find that stuff
a little silly.
12
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:25,572
-Vincent?
-[dramatic music playing]
13
00:00:26,948 --> 00:00:28,199
-Ahh!
-[blood splashing]
14
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,494
-[gasps] Oh, God!
-Velma!
15
00:00:33,955 --> 00:00:37,333
[Velma] There are many things
I feel strongly about.
Our planet.
16
00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:39,002
No more fracking for oil.
17
00:00:39,085 --> 00:00:40,336
-Or saying fracking...
-[thumps]
18
00:00:40,378 --> 00:00:42,297
-. ..as a double entendre!
-[rumbles]
19
00:00:42,339 --> 00:00:44,674
[Velma] Adult women
who wear pigtails.
20
00:00:44,716 --> 00:00:47,218
-You're too fracking old!
-[both crying]
21
00:00:47,302 --> 00:00:49,012
[Velma] But my whole life,
22
00:00:49,054 --> 00:00:51,097
-nothing...
-[young Velma gasps]
23
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:53,516
-[Velma] ...has made me angrier
than rich people.
-[tires screeching]
24
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,477
-Damn it.
-[Velma] Because
they have money,
25
00:00:55,518 --> 00:00:57,354
they think they can
get away with anything.
26
00:00:57,395 --> 00:01:00,398
Museums should be named
after robber barons,
not murderers.
27
00:01:00,482 --> 00:01:01,816
Change this name!
28
00:01:01,858 --> 00:01:04,027
[Velma] Because,
annoyingly, they can.
29
00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:06,029
[crowd gasps]
30
00:01:06,112 --> 00:01:08,031
[Velma] So, there is
no amount of money
that would make me okay
31
00:01:08,114 --> 00:01:10,408
with William Jones
dating my mom.
32
00:01:10,492 --> 00:01:13,703
Well, then, how about I date
your mom and open bar?
33
00:01:13,745 --> 00:01:15,455
No way.
34
00:01:15,538 --> 00:01:18,166
Unlike a recorded message
from any failed '90s celeb,
I can't be bought.
35
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,043
What? No one
ever says no to me.
36
00:01:20,085 --> 00:01:22,629
-Velma, you left
your inhaler in my van.
-[inhaler hisses]
37
00:01:22,712 --> 00:01:24,881
Oh, God! Dad! No!
38
00:01:24,964 --> 00:01:26,800
I mean, yes.
39
00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:29,302
I can't say no to you
'cause of your money,
but I'm still upset!
40
00:01:29,386 --> 00:01:31,554
[theme music playing]
41
00:01:34,933 --> 00:01:36,559
[Diya] Now, I'm sure
you're both wondering
42
00:01:36,601 --> 00:01:38,603
how William
and I became lovers.
43
00:01:38,687 --> 00:01:41,898
It began with an interview
for my memoir,
and we just connected.
44
00:01:41,981 --> 00:01:44,734
We connected so hard,
I hurt my back. [chuckles]
45
00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:46,111
-Ahh!
-[gasps]
46
00:01:46,194 --> 00:01:48,363
-[William] Uh,
but the point is...
-[groaning]
47
00:01:48,405 --> 00:01:52,242
Diya's the one person I found
who I can talk to honestly
about Victoria.
48
00:01:52,325 --> 00:01:54,244
You can talk honestly to me
about Mom.
49
00:01:54,327 --> 00:01:57,080
Just don't criticize her,
because I will lash out.
50
00:01:57,163 --> 00:02:00,417
Okay. You had your fun.
Now, let's never
mention it again,
51
00:02:00,458 --> 00:02:02,585
unless a baby
with a bowtie and a monocle
52
00:02:02,627 --> 00:02:04,212
pops out in nine months. Good?
53
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:06,673
No, Velma. We like each other.
54
00:02:06,756 --> 00:02:08,341
But you fear not.
55
00:02:08,424 --> 00:02:11,594
I promise to win you over
with a fun weekend
at the Jones estate.
56
00:02:11,678 --> 00:02:13,763
The only thing more impressive
than the house
57
00:02:13,847 --> 00:02:16,224
is the number of people
who died building it.
58
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:19,352
Fat chance.
The only way I'm ever
going back to your house
59
00:02:19,436 --> 00:02:21,354
is with a mob
of revolting peasants.
60
00:02:21,438 --> 00:02:23,314
Plus, the science fair's Monday
and you promised
61
00:02:23,398 --> 00:02:25,108
to help me with my project
this weekend.
62
00:02:25,191 --> 00:02:28,319
Science fair?
That's Mardi Gras
for smart kids.
63
00:02:28,403 --> 00:02:29,904
And you're the baby
in the king cake.
64
00:02:29,946 --> 00:02:32,490
How is this the first
I'm hearing of it, Velma?
65
00:02:32,574 --> 00:02:34,200
Because as rich people say
66
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:36,119
when they're asked
to pay taxes,
"I ain't doing it."
67
00:02:36,202 --> 00:02:38,121
And Frederick,
I promised to help
68
00:02:38,204 --> 00:02:42,167
if you stopped claiming
your mother was possessed
by an evil ghost.
69
00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:44,002
-[grunts in frustration]
-[door opens]
70
00:02:44,084 --> 00:02:45,503
-[groans]
-[door closes]
71
00:02:45,587 --> 00:02:47,297
I guess I should hire someone
to go talk to him.
72
00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:50,633
Good idea.
I need to have a little chat
with Velma, as well.
73
00:02:50,675 --> 00:02:51,801
About what?
74
00:02:51,885 --> 00:02:53,470
How much my therapy
is gonna set you back?
75
00:02:53,511 --> 00:02:55,180
-[Norville] No!
-[hallucination laughing]
76
00:02:55,263 --> 00:02:57,140
-No!
-[whirring]
77
00:02:57,182 --> 00:02:59,976
-Run the diagnostic, Lola.
I'm hallucinating.
-[Lola gasps]
78
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:01,061
-Ahh!
-[computer beeps]
79
00:03:01,144 --> 00:03:03,146
[Lola] Got it.
80
00:03:03,188 --> 00:03:04,981
My grandma's research worked.
81
00:03:05,065 --> 00:03:07,650
You can see exactly where
the hallucination happened
in my noodle.
82
00:03:07,692 --> 00:03:10,320
Hey, I can use that word,
not you.
83
00:03:10,403 --> 00:03:12,238
Sorry. I just got excited.
84
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,491
With this data, I might
be able to neutralize
my hallucinations.
85
00:03:14,532 --> 00:03:17,952
And we'd totally
win the science fair.
Which is great,
86
00:03:17,994 --> 00:03:21,081
'cause volleyball
is sure not getting me
into college anymore.
87
00:03:21,164 --> 00:03:25,251
Norville, I told you.
You don't need all science
to stop your hallucinations.
88
00:03:25,334 --> 00:03:28,963
Just trust that the marijuana
I'm giving you will cure them.
89
00:03:29,005 --> 00:03:31,091
It has zero side effects.
90
00:03:31,174 --> 00:03:33,009
Now, why am I in here again?
91
00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:36,054
I assume you want
to test my pee to ensure
the weed's working.
92
00:03:36,137 --> 00:03:38,181
-[simmering]
-[sitar playing]
93
00:03:38,264 --> 00:03:41,685
Positive! We'll test again
at the science fair on Monday,
so just keep smoking.
94
00:03:41,768 --> 00:03:45,271
Zero side... [coughs]
...effects.
95
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:47,315
[Lamont coughing]
96
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:50,318
[Lola] Wait. Norville
"I hate drugs" Rogers
has been getting high?
97
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,362
Without me? WTF?
98
00:03:52,445 --> 00:03:55,532
What? No, I've just always
done what my dad says.
99
00:03:55,572 --> 00:03:57,784
So, it's easier to buy
dirty pee from a friend
100
00:03:57,867 --> 00:03:59,452
and pass his test,
than have a big fight.
101
00:03:59,536 --> 00:04:01,287
Which reminds me,
that was my last cup.
102
00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:04,082
-[line ringing]
-Evelyn, I need a re-up.
103
00:04:04,165 --> 00:04:06,626
What? You're on trial
for a hit and run in Miami?
104
00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:08,128
But I can't wait two weeks.
105
00:04:08,211 --> 00:04:11,381
My dad is testing me on Monday.
106
00:04:11,464 --> 00:04:13,925
Velma, the deal is
you can only solve mysteries
107
00:04:14,009 --> 00:04:16,844
if you maintain your grades
and extracurriculars.
108
00:04:16,885 --> 00:04:18,971
No, Mom. The deal
is you don't date
109
00:04:19,055 --> 00:04:21,725
wealthy slimeballs
whose ex-wives kidnapped you.
110
00:04:21,808 --> 00:04:24,686
-We never made that deal.
-We shouldn't have to.
111
00:04:24,728 --> 00:04:27,063
You know I hate the rich.
I'd be a Communist,
112
00:04:27,147 --> 00:04:30,025
if I didn't want to kill
my lazy teammates
on every group project.
113
00:04:30,066 --> 00:04:32,902
Fine. Then let me
propose a deal
we can both agree on.
114
00:04:32,944 --> 00:04:35,739
If you win the science fair,
I'll stop seeing William.
115
00:04:35,822 --> 00:04:38,033
The science fair
is a waste of time.
116
00:04:38,074 --> 00:04:40,243
I'm trying to find
another serial killer,
117
00:04:40,285 --> 00:04:43,580
not a more efficient way
to process ammonia
and increase global crop yield.
118
00:04:43,663 --> 00:04:44,914
-Wait.
-See?
119
00:04:44,956 --> 00:04:46,583
-You love science, you genius.
-[grunts]
120
00:04:46,666 --> 00:04:48,084
And it's something
to fall back on,
121
00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:50,045
-if mystery solving
doesn't work out.
-Fine.
122
00:04:50,086 --> 00:04:52,422
If I win the science fair,
you dump William
123
00:04:52,505 --> 00:04:54,591
and promise
no more dating rich guys.
124
00:04:54,632 --> 00:04:57,010
Unless the actor, Steven Yeun,
is rich.
125
00:04:58,762 --> 00:05:01,139
Have you ever needed
to push up your glasses,
126
00:05:01,222 --> 00:05:02,974
scratch your nose
or swat a fly,
127
00:05:03,058 --> 00:05:05,101
but you're in
the middle of a complex
chemistry experiment?
128
00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:06,603
Well, the future is now.
129
00:05:06,644 --> 00:05:08,730
-Handso, push up glasses.
-[beeps]
130
00:05:08,772 --> 00:05:10,440
-[punches]
-Ow! Damn it! Ugh.
131
00:05:10,523 --> 00:05:12,275
-[clatters]
-Now how am I gonna
win the science fair?
132
00:05:12,359 --> 00:05:15,111
Ooh, how about,
"Can curly fries
be made straight again?"
133
00:05:15,195 --> 00:05:17,739
I know it's not your intent,
but that sounds homophobic.
134
00:05:17,781 --> 00:05:20,867
Maybe I can help.
A lot of cool inventions
come from moms
135
00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:23,036
who see a need
for something.
136
00:05:23,119 --> 00:05:25,955
Like, you know,
those social media videos
of dogs who talk with buttons?
137
00:05:26,039 --> 00:05:29,167
I only follow Gloria Steinem
and Noam Chomsky.
138
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,668
So, yes, it's all they post.
139
00:05:30,752 --> 00:05:33,630
Well, Gigi's mom,
Susan, invented one for babies
140
00:05:33,672 --> 00:05:35,799
called a Baby Babble Box.
141
00:05:35,882 --> 00:05:37,217
-[baby gurgles]
-[automated voice 1] Nap.
142
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:39,010
[automated voice 2] Hungry.
143
00:05:39,094 --> 00:05:40,553
[automated voice 3]
Election. Stolen.
Witch hunt.
144
00:05:40,637 --> 00:05:42,806
Oh! She's a genius.
145
00:05:42,847 --> 00:05:44,974
See, my dad's already
dating a nightmare.
146
00:05:45,016 --> 00:05:47,310
If I don't make
a prizewinning project
by tomorrow,
147
00:05:47,352 --> 00:05:49,354
I'm gonna end up
with someone even worse
in my life.
148
00:05:49,437 --> 00:05:51,815
You're welcome
to join the project
I'm doing with Amber.
149
00:05:51,898 --> 00:05:53,983
Amber? What does
Amber know about science?
150
00:05:54,067 --> 00:05:56,111
They think bird flu was caused
by an eclipse.
151
00:05:56,152 --> 00:05:59,072
I know, but my moms
are making us be partners.
152
00:05:59,155 --> 00:06:01,032
They want us
to use our science project
153
00:06:01,116 --> 00:06:03,576
to help solve the Mr. S
and Cogburn cases.
154
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,370
Oh, my God, yes! I am so in.
155
00:06:05,453 --> 00:06:07,664
By manifesting some clues,
156
00:06:07,706 --> 00:06:11,209
the way we manifested
our Creaky Friday win.
157
00:06:11,292 --> 00:06:13,336
Our project is manifesting.
158
00:06:13,378 --> 00:06:15,755
Oh. Hm.
While that sounds great,
159
00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:19,384
I don't know if manifesting
is science-y enough to win.
160
00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:21,011
That's where you're wrong.
161
00:06:21,052 --> 00:06:23,513
Since Mr. S died,
there's a new
science fair judge
162
00:06:23,596 --> 00:06:25,056
who's way less science-y.
163
00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:26,683
Wait, who?
164
00:06:26,766 --> 00:06:27,684
-Ahh!
-[Velma] Norville.
165
00:06:27,726 --> 00:06:28,977
How could you not tell me
166
00:06:29,019 --> 00:06:31,521
your dad is judging
the science fair?
167
00:06:31,563 --> 00:06:32,856
-Hm?
-Oh, right.
168
00:06:32,938 --> 00:06:34,691
That's what I wanted
to tell you earlier.
169
00:06:34,774 --> 00:06:36,818
I'm even getting paid.
Which is good,
170
00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:38,737
because the pot
I've been buying you
is not cheap.
171
00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:41,865
Wait, Dad, you're judging
the science fair for money?
172
00:06:41,906 --> 00:06:43,283
Are we okay?
173
00:06:43,366 --> 00:06:44,909
You're not borrowing money
from the Mafia again, are you?
174
00:06:44,993 --> 00:06:46,786
Norville, the only thing
you need to worry about
175
00:06:46,870 --> 00:06:48,913
is curing your hallucinations
with pot
176
00:06:48,997 --> 00:06:50,623
the way your loving father
tells you to.
177
00:06:50,707 --> 00:06:52,083
The sooner the better.
178
00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:53,960
[dramatic music playing]
179
00:06:54,002 --> 00:06:55,253
[Velma and Norville] Hm.
180
00:06:55,336 --> 00:06:57,172
With your dad as the judge,
you're sure to win.
181
00:06:57,212 --> 00:06:58,465
Well, normally, yes.
182
00:06:58,548 --> 00:06:59,841
But if I can't find
some dirty pee,
183
00:06:59,883 --> 00:07:01,593
he'll know I'm defying him
and freak out.
184
00:07:01,676 --> 00:07:03,053
I once got detention
for telling him
185
00:07:03,094 --> 00:07:04,929
B.F. Skinner wasn't
my favorite psychologist.
186
00:07:05,013 --> 00:07:07,932
Damn. But wait. Not to sound
like an East German swim coach,
187
00:07:08,016 --> 00:07:10,643
but if I get you some pee
to pass his drug test,
188
00:07:10,727 --> 00:07:12,312
you're guaranteed
to win, right?
189
00:07:12,395 --> 00:07:13,730
I mean, without a doubt.
190
00:07:13,813 --> 00:07:15,690
But are you seriously
gonna get high for me?
191
00:07:15,732 --> 00:07:18,651
Every year you complain
that 4/20 distracts from
Jessica Lange's birthday.
192
00:07:18,735 --> 00:07:20,612
I can't.
The one time I got high,
193
00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:22,489
I was convinced
a dog was talking to me.
194
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,241
But if I figure it out,
can I join your
science fair project?
195
00:07:25,325 --> 00:07:28,912
Uh, does a multipolar neuron
have two or more dendrites?
196
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,663
You bet your ass it does.
197
00:07:30,747 --> 00:07:31,664
[robot arm whirring]
198
00:07:31,748 --> 00:07:34,167
Huh? Oh. God! Handso! No!
199
00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:36,044
[classical music playing]
200
00:07:36,086 --> 00:07:37,837
[Velma] I don't have time
to spend the weekend
at your boyfriend's.
201
00:07:37,921 --> 00:07:39,631
I need to figure out how to,
202
00:07:39,714 --> 00:07:41,257
uh, win the science fair.
203
00:07:41,341 --> 00:07:43,635
Driver, take me
to the nearest music festival.
204
00:07:43,718 --> 00:07:45,053
Wait, these waters
are free, right?
205
00:07:45,095 --> 00:07:47,722
Yes, and we're not going
to a music festival.
206
00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:50,266
But I knew you'd get excited
about science again.
207
00:07:50,308 --> 00:07:51,601
Soon you'll be like...
208
00:07:52,852 --> 00:07:54,646
I can't think
of a famous woman scientist.
209
00:07:54,729 --> 00:07:56,731
And now I'm just picturing
Einstein with boobs.
210
00:07:56,773 --> 00:07:59,359
But I still expect you
to try and enjoy this weekend.
211
00:07:59,442 --> 00:08:01,403
Enjoy a rich man
using his wealth
212
00:08:01,444 --> 00:08:03,822
to distract us from
the atrocities of his family?
213
00:08:03,905 --> 00:08:06,032
Pass... me that caviar.
214
00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:08,410
It'll just
go to waste otherwise.
215
00:08:08,451 --> 00:08:11,579
[Krista] Guys,
getting pierced was such
a good science fair idea.
216
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,456
Was such a good
science fair idea.
217
00:08:13,498 --> 00:08:16,459
Was such a good,
good science fair idea...
[voice distorts]
218
00:08:16,543 --> 00:08:18,795
-Uh-oh.
-Oh, look where we are.
219
00:08:18,878 --> 00:08:20,922
It's Daphne's
new friend's store.
220
00:08:20,964 --> 00:08:22,465
They must have
put a spell on us.
221
00:08:22,549 --> 00:08:24,050
-[all laughing]
-What new friend?
222
00:08:24,134 --> 00:08:26,594
Who do I know that can balance
popularity and a job?
223
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,304
Oh! Ah! Daphne!
224
00:08:28,388 --> 00:08:29,973
Uh, hey, Amber.
225
00:08:30,015 --> 00:08:31,975
Oh, this is your mom's place?
[scoffs]
226
00:08:32,058 --> 00:08:33,893
I knew you two were opening
an occult bookstore,
227
00:08:33,977 --> 00:08:36,020
but this is nuttier
than cheap trail mix.
228
00:08:36,104 --> 00:08:39,107
Nutty? Wicca is just
like any other religion,
229
00:08:39,149 --> 00:08:41,985
except less hating gays
and more nude frolicking
in the moonlight.
230
00:08:42,027 --> 00:08:44,696
Uh, we only frolic nude
in the sunlight.
231
00:08:44,779 --> 00:08:46,531
This is weird. Come on, Daph.
232
00:08:46,614 --> 00:08:48,533
[melancholic music playing]
233
00:08:51,619 --> 00:08:53,079
[groans softly]
234
00:08:53,163 --> 00:08:55,373
You know what? I'll catch up
with you girls later.
235
00:08:55,457 --> 00:08:58,001
We have to work
on our totally normal
science fair project.
236
00:08:58,084 --> 00:09:00,587
Amber! Daphne, come quick!
The frogs are spawning!
237
00:09:00,628 --> 00:09:03,340
Manifest abundance
before the crone flies.
238
00:09:03,423 --> 00:09:04,632
[chuckles nervously]
239
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:07,635
[both moaning, kissing]
240
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:08,845
-[chuckles]
-Oh!
241
00:09:08,887 --> 00:09:10,847
-[Velma clears throat]
-Velma!
242
00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:12,015
Welcome.
243
00:09:12,057 --> 00:09:13,683
I took the liberty
of having the staff
244
00:09:13,725 --> 00:09:15,643
-prepare pink lemonade.
-[gasps]
245
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,937
Seriously? Pink lemonade
is my favorite.
246
00:09:18,021 --> 00:09:20,398
And it costs 13 cents
more than regular lemonade.
247
00:09:20,482 --> 00:09:23,443
But just FYI, I still think
all rich people are evil.
248
00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:26,279
[William] Which is why
I've taken a note
from the numerous musicals
249
00:09:26,363 --> 00:09:29,532
depicting a plucky
but downwardly mobile
young woman
250
00:09:29,574 --> 00:09:31,242
visiting a rich man's home,
251
00:09:31,326 --> 00:09:33,161
and had the staff prepare
a musical number
252
00:09:33,203 --> 00:09:35,163
-to make you feel welcome.
-Wait, what?
253
00:09:35,205 --> 00:09:39,376
♪ You are poor
So you will like this ♪
254
00:09:39,417 --> 00:09:43,588
♪ Some joy in your
Grubby little life, Miss ♪
255
00:09:43,672 --> 00:09:48,760
♪ Let us treat you
Like a prince...
Princess ♪
256
00:09:48,843 --> 00:09:50,470
What the hell is going on?
257
00:09:50,553 --> 00:09:54,182
It's like a big type of
Act Two musical number.
258
00:09:54,224 --> 00:09:57,102
♪ You can lead
A life of leisure ♪
259
00:09:57,185 --> 00:10:00,230
♪ Wash in a bath
Of ancient treasure! ♪
260
00:10:00,271 --> 00:10:02,899
♪ Here's a robot
That thinks you're clever ♪
261
00:10:02,941 --> 00:10:04,442
-[robot laughs]
-Not interested.
262
00:10:04,526 --> 00:10:06,069
What? No. Never.
263
00:10:06,152 --> 00:10:07,862
♪ Your own Swedish masseuse ♪
264
00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:09,114
-Tell that Swede to go vamoose.
-[masseuse screams]
265
00:10:09,197 --> 00:10:10,448
-Hate walking?
-[screams]
266
00:10:10,532 --> 00:10:12,867
♪ Take your railway ♪
267
00:10:12,909 --> 00:10:16,413
-But what would the 99% say?
-[train whistles]
268
00:10:18,039 --> 00:10:21,626
♪ Would a breakfast buffet
Be so awful ♪
269
00:10:21,710 --> 00:10:24,087
Even Karl Marx couldn't
resist a waffle.
270
00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:25,797
-[canvas ripping]
-Don't listen to them.
271
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,092
Father's a traitor,
and this is a house of lies.
272
00:10:29,175 --> 00:10:30,885
-[dramatic music plays]
-[clangs]
273
00:10:30,927 --> 00:10:32,929
♪ Mother just died
Have you no remorse? ♪
274
00:10:33,013 --> 00:10:35,598
♪ Son, I can't copulate
With a corpse ♪
275
00:10:35,682 --> 00:10:38,768
♪ And now you're trying
To buy Velma's love ♪
276
00:10:38,852 --> 00:10:40,103
Fred's right!
277
00:10:40,186 --> 00:10:42,105
But how much money
are we speaking of? Ahh!
278
00:10:42,147 --> 00:10:45,316
♪ Shall we take this
All away, then, Velma? ♪
279
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,236
♪ And pray college tuitions
Don't overwhelm ya ♪
280
00:10:48,278 --> 00:10:50,280
♪ You're poor!
You're poor! You're poor! ♪
281
00:10:50,363 --> 00:10:52,032
-Oh, who am I kidding?
-♪ You're poor ♪
282
00:10:52,115 --> 00:10:53,658
-♪ You're poor ♪
-♪ I am poor ♪
283
00:10:53,742 --> 00:10:57,454
-♪ And I love... ♪
-♪ Love... ♪
284
00:10:57,495 --> 00:10:59,789
♪ This ♪
285
00:10:59,873 --> 00:11:01,624
-[all applauding]
-[coins clinking]
286
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:03,334
[Velma gasping]
287
00:11:03,418 --> 00:11:05,128
Take me to that money bath.
288
00:11:06,963 --> 00:11:08,965
-[Fred grunts]
-Hm.
289
00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:11,760
Fred, can I come in?
290
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:14,220
It's just me,
your dad's new girlfriend.
291
00:11:14,304 --> 00:11:15,472
Nothing weird. Oh!
292
00:11:15,513 --> 00:11:18,224
I know. And I'm not mad
about you dating my dad.
293
00:11:18,308 --> 00:11:20,101
Monogamy is for
the middle class.
294
00:11:20,143 --> 00:11:22,437
I'm mad because
my father's punishing me
295
00:11:22,479 --> 00:11:23,938
for thinking my mom's innocent.
296
00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:26,649
Well, sometimes parents
have to be tough on kids
297
00:11:26,691 --> 00:11:27,984
because they care about them
298
00:11:28,068 --> 00:11:29,569
and don't want
to be embarrassed publicly
299
00:11:29,652 --> 00:11:30,612
by their dumb choices.
300
00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:32,280
You wanna hear about caring?
301
00:11:32,322 --> 00:11:34,282
Every year Mother helped me
with my science fair project.
302
00:11:34,324 --> 00:11:36,534
She loved hiring the scientists
to do all the work
303
00:11:36,618 --> 00:11:39,788
-and then stiffing them
if I didn't win.
-[Diya groans]
304
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:41,498
I miss her so much.
305
00:11:41,539 --> 00:11:44,376
Fred, I'm sorry,
but as a way to
get to know each other,
306
00:11:44,459 --> 00:11:46,628
-maybe I could help you
with your project.
-Hm.
307
00:11:46,669 --> 00:11:48,672
And what do I have
to do in return?
308
00:11:48,755 --> 00:11:51,007
Teach you how to
fit into polite society?
309
00:11:51,091 --> 00:11:54,094
-Nothing. Just pick a project.
-[gasps] Actually...
310
00:11:54,177 --> 00:11:55,679
Mother never even
let me do that.
311
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,014
And I have always wondered
where toast comes from.
312
00:11:58,098 --> 00:12:00,266
My hypothesis is the kitchen.
313
00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:03,019
Well, that sounds
like a good start.
314
00:12:03,812 --> 00:12:05,897
[determined music playing]
315
00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:09,442
[keyboard clacking]
316
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,072
Lola! I did it!
317
00:12:14,155 --> 00:12:15,532
You figured out
the right amount
318
00:12:15,573 --> 00:12:17,325
of Chinese food
to order for two people?
319
00:12:17,367 --> 00:12:20,078
No. The scientific community
has given up on that.
320
00:12:20,161 --> 00:12:22,455
I calculated exactly
how much electricity I need
321
00:12:22,539 --> 00:12:24,499
to shock the neurons,
causing my hallucinations.
322
00:12:24,541 --> 00:12:26,918
If it works, my dad will
assume it was the pot
323
00:12:27,001 --> 00:12:28,586
and I won't have to pass
any more drug tests.
324
00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:32,048
Okay, but to be safe,
before shocking your brain,
325
00:12:32,090 --> 00:12:33,717
maybe try it on
something else first.
326
00:12:33,758 --> 00:12:37,262
I'm confident in my equations.
But hey, if you insist.
327
00:12:39,723 --> 00:12:40,724
-[cranks]
-[whirring]
328
00:12:40,765 --> 00:12:41,808
-[buzzing]
-[beeping]
329
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:42,559
-[both gasp]
-[splatters]
330
00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:43,685
Hm.
331
00:12:43,727 --> 00:12:45,603
-[beeps]
-[line ringing]
332
00:12:45,687 --> 00:12:47,731
-[phone line clicks]
-Velma, if we want to win,
333
00:12:47,772 --> 00:12:49,566
I'm gonna need
that tainted pee.
334
00:12:49,649 --> 00:12:52,110
I'm on it, because
even though I've come
to appreciate vast wealth
335
00:12:52,193 --> 00:12:54,070
and no longer wanna break up
my mom and William,
336
00:12:54,154 --> 00:12:56,990
-I'm still a good
and honorable person.
-[line beeps]
337
00:12:57,073 --> 00:12:58,742
Eat this and then
pee in a cup for me.
338
00:12:58,825 --> 00:13:00,035
-Pull.
-[whirring]
339
00:13:00,076 --> 00:13:01,161
-[gun fires]
-[vase shatters]
340
00:13:01,244 --> 00:13:02,871
[hip-hop music playing]
341
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:04,914
[female singer grunts]
342
00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:06,458
♪ I know I got it ♪
343
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:08,168
-♪ You can never take ♪
-♪ Never ♪
344
00:13:08,251 --> 00:13:09,711
-♪ There's only one ♪
-[angelic choir]
345
00:13:09,753 --> 00:13:11,463
-♪ Ain't no duplicates ♪
-[applauding]
346
00:13:11,546 --> 00:13:13,089
-♪ I'm here to stay ♪
-♪Yeah ♪
347
00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:14,758
-♪ The crown is here to lay ♪
-Ah!
348
00:13:14,799 --> 00:13:16,259
♪ If you wanna see it bad
Let me demonstrate ♪
349
00:13:16,301 --> 00:13:17,844
♪ There's levels to the game ♪
350
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,596
♪ I see you haven't changed ♪
351
00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:22,140
♪ I had to elevate
I could never stay the same ♪
352
00:13:22,223 --> 00:13:23,892
♪ I'm going to the top ♪
353
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,935
-♪ You can try
And follow too ♪
-[all clamoring]
354
00:13:26,019 --> 00:13:27,937
-♪ Not too many people
That can walk in these shoes ♪
-Whoa!
355
00:13:28,021 --> 00:13:31,274
♪ Hard work and discipline
Got me where I am today ♪
356
00:13:31,316 --> 00:13:33,985
♪ Focus is the key
That will never go away ♪
357
00:13:34,069 --> 00:13:35,570
[tires screeching]
358
00:13:35,612 --> 00:13:37,405
-♪ Get on my, get on my ♪
-[both laughing]
359
00:13:37,447 --> 00:13:40,784
♪ Get on my level
Yeah ♪
360
00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:43,119
[panicked breathing]
Where's Velma?
361
00:13:43,203 --> 00:13:45,330
Norville? Test time.
362
00:13:45,413 --> 00:13:46,956
One second.
363
00:13:46,998 --> 00:13:48,416
My dad is going to test me.
364
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:50,126
If Velma doesn't show up
with the dirty pee,
365
00:13:50,210 --> 00:13:51,544
I'll just have to
try the shock treatment.
366
00:13:51,628 --> 00:13:53,463
At least the last potato
almost didn't explode.
367
00:13:53,545 --> 00:13:56,216
-[sizzling]
-Norville, you can't risk it.
368
00:13:56,299 --> 00:13:58,134
Just smoke weed already.
369
00:13:58,218 --> 00:14:00,637
TBH, this jar
is half bong water.
370
00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,723
-Hey, Norville.
-Velma, my number one buddy.
371
00:14:03,765 --> 00:14:05,475
And by number one,
I mean urine.
372
00:14:05,558 --> 00:14:08,603
Velma's here.
Yes, I refer to myself
in the third person now.
373
00:14:08,645 --> 00:14:10,814
So, do you have the pee or not?
374
00:14:10,897 --> 00:14:12,816
Yes! Oh! I'm saved. Uh...
375
00:14:12,857 --> 00:14:14,651
Why does this have a price tag?
376
00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:16,986
And why is it $9.99?
377
00:14:17,028 --> 00:14:19,072
[laughs] Oh, wait.
This is too funny.
378
00:14:19,155 --> 00:14:21,157
You know what this is?
This is a juice shot,
379
00:14:21,241 --> 00:14:23,493
my fabulous wellness doctor
has put me on.
380
00:14:23,535 --> 00:14:25,537
Oh, okay,
but where's the dirty pee?
381
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:27,288
Papa needs that liquid gold.
382
00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:29,040
Sorry. One of
the cleaning people
must have thrown it out.
383
00:14:29,124 --> 00:14:32,043
But don't worry.
It's okay if you fail
the test and we lose.
384
00:14:32,127 --> 00:14:33,420
I want my mom to date William.
385
00:14:33,503 --> 00:14:35,797
It's not okay!
My dad will freak out!
386
00:14:35,839 --> 00:14:38,508
And I didn't plan
on having our inevitable
"I'm not you, Dad" fight,
387
00:14:38,591 --> 00:14:40,760
until I got my Carl Jung poster
back from the framers.
388
00:14:40,844 --> 00:14:42,262
Norville, listen to Velma.
389
00:14:42,345 --> 00:14:44,889
As someone who now lives
a life of zero consequences,
390
00:14:44,973 --> 00:14:48,852
believe me when I say this,
too much stress
is terrible for your skin.
391
00:14:48,893 --> 00:14:50,603
But still,
I'll make this right.
392
00:14:51,312 --> 00:14:52,856
What?
393
00:14:52,897 --> 00:14:55,442
-Ahh! What? No!
-[laughing]
394
00:14:55,525 --> 00:14:57,402
[sizzling]
395
00:14:57,485 --> 00:14:59,362
And so, in conclusion,
while we can now
396
00:14:59,404 --> 00:15:01,948
say with confidence
where toast comes from...
397
00:15:02,657 --> 00:15:04,284
-[creaks]
-[gasps]
398
00:15:04,367 --> 00:15:05,660
...where it came from
before the advent
of the toaster,
399
00:15:05,702 --> 00:15:08,455
remains one of science's
greatest mysteries.
400
00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:09,748
Great job, Fred.
401
00:15:09,831 --> 00:15:13,043
You even managed
to say "focaccia"
inoffensively.
402
00:15:13,084 --> 00:15:15,295
-[sentimental music playing]
-[Fred sighs]
403
00:15:15,378 --> 00:15:19,090
Wait, why do I feel
all warm and safe?
404
00:15:19,174 --> 00:15:21,259
Because that's
what hugs feel like?
405
00:15:21,343 --> 00:15:24,387
No! Mother said hugs
drained children
of their resilience.
406
00:15:24,429 --> 00:15:27,265
That's why she selflessly
refused to ever give me one.
407
00:15:27,349 --> 00:15:30,602
Okay. Well, since you're
so good at science now,
408
00:15:30,685 --> 00:15:32,896
do you wanna
test out that hypothesis?
409
00:15:32,937 --> 00:15:34,272
I guess.
410
00:15:34,356 --> 00:15:36,399
I mean, I'm always happy
to prove Mother right.
411
00:15:36,441 --> 00:15:42,030
[chuckles] Mm.
Little Freddie feel cozy.
412
00:15:42,072 --> 00:15:45,033
No! These feelings
are wrong. Stop!
413
00:15:45,075 --> 00:15:46,993
-Fred, I'm sorry.
-[Fred] I hate this.
414
00:15:47,077 --> 00:15:47,911
Stop hugging me!
415
00:15:47,994 --> 00:15:49,579
I'm trying.
416
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:56,753
Hm?
417
00:15:56,836 --> 00:15:59,130
[Gigi] Our science fair project
was testing
418
00:15:59,214 --> 00:16:01,007
the power
of positive reinforcement.
419
00:16:01,091 --> 00:16:02,842
So we spoke different words
to rats
420
00:16:02,926 --> 00:16:04,594
and then measured
their maize feed.
421
00:16:04,678 --> 00:16:07,555
The rat called Smart
did way better
than the one called Sexy.
422
00:16:07,597 --> 00:16:10,809
But the best was mine.
Hot Bitch.
423
00:16:10,892 --> 00:16:12,227
Oh, wonderful!
424
00:16:12,268 --> 00:16:16,106
Okay, so what's this project,
you Hot Bitches?
425
00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:17,357
[groans softly]
426
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,359
It's about focusing
on what you want.
427
00:16:19,442 --> 00:16:21,611
Like my moms need clues
in their Mr. S
428
00:16:21,653 --> 00:16:23,947
and Sheriff Cogburn
murder investigation.
429
00:16:23,988 --> 00:16:28,410
So we wrote, "Find the killer"
on a piece of paper,
sealed it in this envelope
430
00:16:28,451 --> 00:16:31,705
and spent 10 minutes each day
visualizing his discovery.
431
00:16:31,788 --> 00:16:33,540
[laughing]
432
00:16:33,623 --> 00:16:36,918
That is
the dumbest project here,
and I just ate Fred's project.
433
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,336
-[rattles]
-[exclaims]
434
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,630
I'm so sorry your moms
made you work with Amber.
435
00:16:40,672 --> 00:16:43,258
Wait. They made you
work with me?
436
00:16:43,299 --> 00:16:45,301
The crows in my dream
were right.
437
00:16:45,385 --> 00:16:46,761
I knew better
than to doubt them.
438
00:16:46,803 --> 00:16:48,805
No, Olive's wrong.
439
00:16:48,888 --> 00:16:53,143
I wanted to work with you,
but I was too embarrassed
to admit it to my friends,
440
00:16:53,226 --> 00:16:55,812
which is crazy,
because you're so interesting,
441
00:16:55,854 --> 00:16:58,398
-and I think
our project's amazing.
-[both gasp]
442
00:16:58,481 --> 00:17:00,734
I agree.
Every day I envision
443
00:17:00,817 --> 00:17:04,153
I'm such a perfect father
that Norville will never
feel the need
444
00:17:04,237 --> 00:17:06,197
to think for himself
and push me away.
445
00:17:06,281 --> 00:17:07,991
-[Lola] Mr. Rogers! Come quick.
-[grunts]
446
00:17:08,074 --> 00:17:09,825
Norville cured
his hallucinations.
447
00:17:09,868 --> 00:17:12,036
As Daddy knew he would.
448
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,831
[Lola] See? That's the area
that caused the hallucinations.
449
00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:18,084
It used to be all lit up,
and now there's nothing.
450
00:17:18,168 --> 00:17:19,502
[exclaims]
451
00:17:19,544 --> 00:17:22,671
Norville, you did it.
See? The pot worked.
452
00:17:22,756 --> 00:17:24,424
[chuckles] I'm so happy.
453
00:17:24,466 --> 00:17:27,177
There's literally nothing
I wouldn't do for you
right now.
454
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,220
I'd love
to win the science fair.
455
00:17:29,304 --> 00:17:32,223
Okay, so about that...
456
00:17:36,895 --> 00:17:38,730
Don't wanna invest in that.
457
00:17:38,813 --> 00:17:40,857
Maybe. Oh, hello!
458
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:43,151
-[Lamont] Hello, science fair
participants.
-Huh?
459
00:17:43,193 --> 00:17:44,903
So many amazing projects.
460
00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:47,572
Almost all of them
went right over my head.
461
00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,532
-[crowd chuckles]
-Regardless,
462
00:17:49,616 --> 00:17:52,410
the winner of this year's
blue ribbon is Velma Dinkley.
463
00:17:52,494 --> 00:17:53,411
-[crowd clamoring]
-What?
464
00:17:53,495 --> 00:17:55,413
-What?
-What? How?
465
00:17:55,497 --> 00:17:58,833
I didn't enter. Though rich me
does still feel
pretty deserving of it.
466
00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:01,211
Velma, in conjunction
with her partner,
467
00:18:01,294 --> 00:18:02,462
Neil deGrasse Tyson
468
00:18:02,545 --> 00:18:04,005
and with generous funding
469
00:18:04,047 --> 00:18:06,424
from the Fred D. and William T.
Jones Foundation,
470
00:18:06,508 --> 00:18:09,386
proved aliens are
more likely to exist
471
00:18:09,427 --> 00:18:10,887
-than to not exist.
-[crowd booing]
472
00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:13,723
-[man] It's fixed.
-[woman] Burn the rich!
473
00:18:13,765 --> 00:18:15,684
You're welcome, Velma.
474
00:18:15,725 --> 00:18:18,520
What? You bought
the science fair for me?
475
00:18:18,561 --> 00:18:21,398
But I didn't want to win.
And now everyone hates me.
476
00:18:21,439 --> 00:18:24,651
Velma, being hated
is a huge part of being rich.
477
00:18:24,734 --> 00:18:27,445
It's right up there
with calling waiters "garcon"
478
00:18:27,529 --> 00:18:30,657
and hiring lookalikes
to confuse crowds.
479
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:32,742
Remember, you get paid
by the bruise.
480
00:18:32,826 --> 00:18:35,078
-[lookalike grunts]
-[man] There they are. Get 'em!
481
00:18:35,161 --> 00:18:36,579
Well, I'm not rich.
482
00:18:36,663 --> 00:18:38,581
So, if people are
gonna hate me,
I wanna earn it.
483
00:18:38,623 --> 00:18:41,084
Like Scrooge
or a bad boy of tennis.
484
00:18:41,126 --> 00:18:42,919
I get that.
485
00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:45,714
It's just such a shame
you'll never get rich
solving mysteries.
486
00:18:45,755 --> 00:18:48,133
Yeah, but only because my mom
will probably force me
487
00:18:48,216 --> 00:18:51,261
to do something boring
with my life,
like cure heart disease.
488
00:18:51,302 --> 00:18:54,597
Actually, Velma,
if solving mysteries
is what you wanna do,
489
00:18:54,681 --> 00:18:56,349
then go all in.
490
00:18:56,433 --> 00:18:58,852
Parents don't always know
what's best for their kids,
right, William?
491
00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:00,228
[scoffs] Speak for yourself.
492
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:01,730
I handled Fred perfectly.
493
00:19:01,771 --> 00:19:03,523
Why, this is the first weekend
in ages
494
00:19:03,606 --> 00:19:06,901
I haven't heard any nonsense
about ghosts or Victoria.
495
00:19:07,986 --> 00:19:09,487
What?
496
00:19:09,571 --> 00:19:11,614
This means so much to me,
and... and my partner,
497
00:19:11,656 --> 00:19:13,742
-Vermoose Drunkie. Oh!
-[thuds]
498
00:19:13,783 --> 00:19:15,952
-[microphone feedback]
-Everyone!
I understand you're upset.
499
00:19:16,036 --> 00:19:18,872
But I will not accept this
as I did not work
on this project.
500
00:19:18,955 --> 00:19:21,541
Worse, I bailed on the team
I was supposed to work with
501
00:19:21,624 --> 00:19:25,086
because I didn't know money
would make me
forget about my friends.
502
00:19:25,128 --> 00:19:27,839
Even though I was warned
by, like, every movie.
503
00:19:27,922 --> 00:19:30,342
Regardless, the blue ribbon
should go to Norville.
504
00:19:30,425 --> 00:19:32,427
His project
is obviously the best.
505
00:19:32,469 --> 00:19:35,138
Thank you, Velma,
but I don't deserve it, either.
506
00:19:35,180 --> 00:19:38,099
I just copied work
my grandmother did in the '70s.
507
00:19:38,141 --> 00:19:39,309
[all gasping]
508
00:19:39,392 --> 00:19:41,311
The only project here
509
00:19:41,353 --> 00:19:42,812
that looks like
it didn't have an adult
actually doing all the work
510
00:19:42,896 --> 00:19:44,147
is Fred's toast thing.
511
00:19:44,189 --> 00:19:46,316
-Give the award to him.
-Seriously?
512
00:19:46,983 --> 00:19:47,984
I said, get off me!
513
00:19:48,026 --> 00:19:49,361
[powers down]
514
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:50,862
-[crowd applauding]
-Thank you, Norville.
515
00:19:50,945 --> 00:19:52,655
It says a lot
when you get more support
516
00:19:52,739 --> 00:19:54,532
from the grandson
of the woman
who ruined your life
517
00:19:54,616 --> 00:19:56,326
than your own father.
518
00:19:56,368 --> 00:19:59,913
Hey, we don't
have enough context
to fully understand that.
519
00:19:59,996 --> 00:20:03,083
It's okay, because I do.
520
00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:04,959
Uh, Fred, look, I'm...
521
00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:08,213
I'm sorry I refused
to work on your science fair
project with you.
522
00:20:08,296 --> 00:20:10,465
I thought
you needed a reality check.
523
00:20:10,507 --> 00:20:11,841
But maybe what you really need
524
00:20:11,883 --> 00:20:13,551
is a father
who's willing to listen,
525
00:20:13,635 --> 00:20:16,971
even if what you're saying
is batshit crazy.
526
00:20:17,013 --> 00:20:18,682
Really?
527
00:20:18,723 --> 00:20:20,767
That was mostly
the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.
528
00:20:20,850 --> 00:20:22,519
Yes.
529
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,772
So, would you like
to use our upper limbs
to briefly cling together?
530
00:20:25,855 --> 00:20:29,984
Oh, I suppose
just this one time.
531
00:20:32,904 --> 00:20:33,947
[sighs]
532
00:20:37,409 --> 00:20:39,202
Hey, Hot Bitch is missing!
533
00:20:39,285 --> 00:20:42,872
You freaks better not
have taken her
for some messed up potion.
534
00:20:42,914 --> 00:20:44,582
I was gonna
feed her to my snake.
535
00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:47,127
Call them a freak again,
and I'll feed you to my fist.
536
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:49,462
Daphne, Daphne. Don't let them
get under your skin.
537
00:20:49,546 --> 00:20:52,966
Most people dislike magic.
That's why all magicians
are virgins.
538
00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:57,929
I know. It's just
I wanted us to find a clue
and prove manifesting works.
539
00:20:58,013 --> 00:21:00,682
Maybe even win
Gigi and Olive over.
540
00:21:00,724 --> 00:21:01,725
But it did work.
541
00:21:01,808 --> 00:21:03,935
Look what else
was in the envelope.
542
00:21:05,812 --> 00:21:07,981
[gasps] Whoa.
543
00:21:08,064 --> 00:21:10,150
It works on people, too?
544
00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:12,902
'Cause I'm real tired
of acting nice
to make people like me.
545
00:21:12,944 --> 00:21:15,447
[chuckles] Okay.
Well, in that case,
546
00:21:15,530 --> 00:21:19,034
would you like to learn
some real witchcraft?
547
00:21:19,075 --> 00:21:22,662
[gasps] Norville,
is Daphne reading a spell book
with interest?
548
00:21:22,746 --> 00:21:24,539
And be warned,
your answer will dictate
549
00:21:24,581 --> 00:21:26,458
how hard I squeeze your arm
in frustration.
550
00:21:26,541 --> 00:21:29,753
Hm. Hard to say,
as I 100% don't give a shit.
551
00:21:29,836 --> 00:21:31,171
-Huh?
-[Lamont] Norville.
552
00:21:31,254 --> 00:21:33,298
How did you get these journals?
553
00:21:33,381 --> 00:21:35,091
Uh, how do you think?
554
00:21:35,175 --> 00:21:37,844
I dressed up as a ghost
and stole them
from the police station.
555
00:21:37,927 --> 00:21:39,304
-[gasps]
-What?
556
00:21:39,387 --> 00:21:41,598
Yeah. Sometimes I do bad things
that you don't know about.
557
00:21:41,639 --> 00:21:45,268
For instance,
I bought tainted pee
to pass your stupid drug tests.
558
00:21:45,310 --> 00:21:48,980
[Lola] Oh, no! In neutralizing
his hallucinations,
559
00:21:49,064 --> 00:21:51,649
Norville accidentally
removed all his empathy.
560
00:21:51,733 --> 00:21:54,110
He's now functioning
with zero compassion.
561
00:21:54,194 --> 00:21:56,905
This is why you listen to me.
Science has side effects.
562
00:21:56,946 --> 00:21:57,947
Pot has none.
563
00:21:57,989 --> 00:21:59,783
Now look me
in my painfully dry,
564
00:21:59,824 --> 00:22:01,451
bloodshot eyes and apologize.
565
00:22:01,493 --> 00:22:03,620
No, because I think
for myself now.
566
00:22:03,703 --> 00:22:06,247
And I think smoking weed
makes you a loser.
567
00:22:06,289 --> 00:22:07,999
-[all] Ooh!
-[Velma] Oh!
568
00:22:08,083 --> 00:22:10,835
Norville, that's just
the science talking.
Take it back.
569
00:22:10,919 --> 00:22:12,712
Or what, loser?
570
00:22:12,754 --> 00:22:14,255
[all] Ooh!
571
00:22:14,297 --> 00:22:16,132
Or you'll get detention.
572
00:22:16,174 --> 00:22:17,926
[all] Ooh!
573
00:22:17,967 --> 00:22:22,806
And you can all join him
for saying "ooh" to my son.
574
00:22:22,847 --> 00:22:25,475
-Saturday, 7:00 am sharp.
-[all gasp]
575
00:22:25,517 --> 00:22:27,686
Welcome to hell!
576
00:22:27,769 --> 00:22:30,146
Wait. What were we
just talking about?
577
00:22:30,188 --> 00:22:32,399
[theme music playing]
578
00:22:40,198 --> 00:22:42,826
[mysterious music playing]
579
00:22:42,867 --> 00:22:43,743
[squeaking]
580
00:22:55,255 --> 00:22:56,131
[footsteps approaching]
581
00:22:57,841 --> 00:22:58,717
[shrieks]
43766
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