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[ orchestral music plays ]
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[ announcer speaks ]
3
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[ arrows whizzing ]
4
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:38,429
Hi.
Like my costume?
5
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:40,301
Okay, skip it.
6
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:41,954
Anyway,
it's a trick question.
7
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:45,088
This isn't my costume.
It's my underwear.
8
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,481
Ha!
Wait a second.
9
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,048
This is more like it.
10
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,571
As a matter of fact,
today's show
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00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:51,312
is sort of about costumes.
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00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:55,055
Presenting
"The Emperor's New Clothes."
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00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:59,059
Love that alar.
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00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:04,803
And what have we today,
Lord Bloomingdale?
15
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:07,284
Leisure wear,
Your Excellency.
16
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:11,245
Good. I'm down to my last
10,000 ensembles.
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00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,638
- Proceed.
- Music.
18
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:16,293
[ playing ]
19
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:19,427
Excellency, here's Doug,
20
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:22,821
and he's ready for a day
at the jousting tournament
21
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:26,390
in this single-vented,
all-chain mail creation
22
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,262
- from Sir William McClaire.
- [ glass shatters ]
23
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:33,049
Meanwhile, Evan can't wait
for that next court picnic
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00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,444
to show off his crisp,
but casual sunsuit
25
00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:41,144
in double-thick sackcloth
with a real heavy metal trim.
26
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,146
[ rumbling ]
27
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,975
It's cute,
but it's not me.
28
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:49,457
Lord Bloomingdale,
the Designers Label Day parade
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00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,329
is coming up and I want
something new.
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Something fresh and exciting
and daring and fun.
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00:01:56,028 --> 00:01:58,814
Yes, Your Excellency.
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00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:01,599
- [ fabric ripping ]
- [ screaming ]
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00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:05,342
And sprightly
and wild and zany and...
34
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:08,563
I wish he'd just shop
by catalogue.
35
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:12,262
...and I'm not
paying retail.
36
00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:16,440
Hear ye, hear ye,
old-fashioned designers,
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00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,791
the emperor needs
a new look for the parade.
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00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,707
He wants something
fresh and daring
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00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:26,189
and fun and--
you know, the usual.
40
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,148
[ scattered cheers ]
41
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:31,063
Here. Is this fresh
and fun or what?
42
00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:32,804
You want daring?
I'll show you daring.
43
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,719
Trés chic.
44
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,112
I could get
you this wholesale.
45
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,027
Gordon:
Um, excuse me.
46
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,812
Could somebody tell me the way
to the emperor's palace?
47
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:42,466
[ angry murmuring ]
48
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:45,730
And why do you wish
to know, young stranger?
49
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:48,951
My name is Benetton Esprit.
I'm a designer.
50
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,996
A fashion designer?!
51
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,998
[ all laugh ]
52
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,000
If they
think that's funny,
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00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:57,002
wait till they hear
I'm also an accountant.
54
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:58,917
Hey, you look familiar.
55
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,572
Yves Saint Bernard!
56
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,574
Ralph Polo!
57
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,097
Norma Tamali!
58
00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:07,926
The greatest designers
in the known universe.
59
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,493
Yes, we are,
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00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,017
except for my archrival
Norma Tamali, of course.
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00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:16,500
Well, Polo, you creepy
little rat, why, I oughta...
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00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:19,938
Benetton Esprit?
63
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,679
I like your style.
64
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:24,116
Do you know who I am?
65
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,814
You're Coco Klein.
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00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,598
I'll give you
a little hint.
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00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:30,253
I am Coco Klein.
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00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,690
Props, get this woman
a hearing aid.
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00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,563
I'm a big fan of yours,
Madam Klein.
70
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,173
So am I.
71
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,393
Come, you will be
my assistant.
72
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:42,047
Oh, it is true
that the pay will
not be very much.
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00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:45,703
That's okay.
As long as the hours
are long and grueling.
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00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:48,750
Ciao,everybody.
See you at the Label
Day parade.
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00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:52,101
Don't you just hate
bright, fresh, young talent?
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00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:55,365
We may have to
do something about
that young man.
77
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:58,412
Ralph, Norma, stop bickering
and leave the poor boy alone.
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00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,588
After all,
the knight is young.
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00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:02,807
[ cackles ]
80
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:06,115
These are removable pads.
See?
81
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,378
Perfect for the woman
with removable shoulders.
82
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:09,988
Klein: Hmm.
83
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,861
And what is
this abomination?
84
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,950
Well, it's called
a Hawaiian shirt.
85
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:18,301
It's perfect when you're in
a lazy luau kind of mood.
86
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:22,262
Benetton, let me show you
what fashion should be.
87
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:24,264
Christie!
88
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,309
Put on the chunklike
tunic, dear.
89
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:34,709
Christie, darling,
this is Benetton Esprit.
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00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:39,148
Benetton,
this is my very rich
and very thin model--
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00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,758
Christie Dinkley.
92
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:43,587
Please, study this
while I make a phone call.
93
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:46,329
- All right?
- I could study her forever.
94
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:49,376
Not the model,
the outfit!
95
00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:51,943
Hello?!
Nancy!
96
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,424
When am I getting
those dresses back?!
97
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,339
So, you're new here.
98
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,298
Maybe I can show you
the sights.
99
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,212
Which sights
did you have in mind?
100
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:02,954
Oh, the moon
and the stars.
101
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:05,435
I've heard about the moon.
Can we go now?
102
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,307
Don't you think
we should wait till tonight?
103
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,570
But then we won't be able
to see anything.
104
00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:15,793
But, Madam Klein,
he's a genius.
105
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:18,883
His designs are
too practical, dear.
106
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:21,408
But the emperor
wants something new.
107
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:22,931
[ shrieks ]
108
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,628
Hmm.
109
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,456
Well, I suppose
he might like
110
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,632
one of Benetton's
baseball caps.
111
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,286
Come, Benetton.
112
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,549
We're going to
the palace.
113
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,246
Excellency...
114
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,205
Madam Coco Klein
115
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:40,296
and "Badminton Ess-spritt."
116
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,342
Well, Coco
and Badminton,
117
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:45,127
what have you
for me today?
118
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:46,650
Uh, Your Excellency...
119
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,914
these are linen slacks
with pleated vents
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00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:51,046
and vented pleats.
121
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,656
Upland dress shirt
122
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,789
with French cuffs,
Italian pockets,
123
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,052
- and Spanish fly.
- [ all gasp ]
124
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:02,318
Coco, a technical question,
if I may.
125
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,321
Please, Excellency.
126
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,367
Is this a joke?!
127
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,239
Now take this concoction
of monstrosities
128
00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:12,676
and split the royal scene!
129
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,376
Coco:
Christie, Benetton
will be leaving us.
130
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,987
Give him
his pink slip.
131
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,162
And also his
yellow dress
132
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,730
and his
light green blouse.
133
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,254
But Ben's work
is so elegant.
134
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,996
As we say in France,
Christie,
135
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,998
"Elegant,
schmelegant."
136
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,956
The emperor
wants something
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00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,481
vogue and vague
and terminally hip.
138
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:37,048
Now, au revoir.
139
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:40,182
And a word of advice:
find a different
line of work.
140
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,227
But fashion design
is my life.
141
00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:43,968
Then you're dead.
142
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,537
- Shut up, you.
- Good-bye, Benetton.
143
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,713
And watch out for those
other designers.
144
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,149
They're cutthroats.
145
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:53,064
I'll heed your advice.
146
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:54,414
But where will you go?
147
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:58,069
Somewhere-- somewhere
there's a place for me.
148
00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:01,725
A place where
a man can design
an all-cotton dress shirt.
149
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:04,293
With a roll collar?
And button cuffs?
150
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,643
I don't know.
But remember,
151
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,645
whenever you
look at the moon,
make sure it's night.
152
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:11,213
Huh?
153
00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:15,347
[ shrieks ]
154
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,917
[ playing medieval tune ]
155
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:25,183
This looks like it was made
from an old army tent.
156
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:28,448
I have 35 of these
upstairs. Next!
157
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,276
Your Excellency,
158
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,496
meet Christian.
159
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,977
His three-piece
matching ensemble
160
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,109
combines
the high-energy flash
161
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:40,982
of today's go-for-it
party animal
162
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:43,724
- plus the--
- Benetton: Stop the music!
163
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:47,728
- [ loud crash ]
- What is the meaning
of this?!
164
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,991
This?
It's a pronoun, I think.
165
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,210
I thought it was
a preposition.
166
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,822
It can also be
an adjective.
167
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:58,042
"Put this orange
on the table."
168
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,174
What orange?
169
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,176
Puh.
Never mind.
170
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,483
- You, what is your name?
- Guess Who.
171
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,181
- I give up.
- No, Guess Who.
172
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:08,096
I said I give up!
173
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,620
No, I Give Up
is my agent's name.
174
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,361
Are you with
Philip Morris?
175
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,841
Me too!
176
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:16,234
My lords and ladies,
177
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,845
juggling!
178
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:23,067
Your Excellency,
I think what this man means
179
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:26,418
is his name is...
Guess Who.
180
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:28,072
I can't.
181
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,552
You can't what, sire?
182
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,206
I can't guess who.
183
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,121
All of you,
you're under arrest!
184
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,255
Especially you!
185
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,301
My apologies,
Excellency.
186
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:42,696
My first name is Guess.
My last name is Who.
187
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,741
Oh, I see.
188
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:47,048
Guards,
throw this man out!
189
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,617
- But why?
- Well, for one thing,
190
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,575
you're not wearing
any pants.
191
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,446
That's why
I'm here, sire.
192
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,667
Hold it!
You barge into my court
193
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,713
and interrupt
my private fashion show
194
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:02,803
to tell me you're
not wearing any pants?!
195
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:05,719
Sire, my pants are made
of a new miracle fiber
196
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,459
called Schmatex.
197
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,418
It is more beautiful
than silk,
198
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,202
more durable
than polyester,
199
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,596
warmer than wool,
and cooler than cotton!
200
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,859
However,
it can only be seen
201
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:19,080
by the vogue, the vague,
and the terminally hip.
202
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:21,604
To everyone else,
it is invisible.
203
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,738
Enough of this
corny thought bubble.
Anyone have a hairpin?
204
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,784
Well, I thought his pants
were fabulous!
205
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:30,047
- Man: Subtle.
It's subtle, sure.
- [ court clamoring ]
206
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:32,876
Did you hear?
"Noblewomen's Wear Daily"
207
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,836
says, "Guess Who's new
Schmatex is hot, hot, hot!"
208
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:41,276
And "Vanity Friar" says,
"Guess Who's new Schmatex
is cool, cool, cool!"
209
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:43,278
We're ruined,
ruined, ruined!
210
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:46,542
We must forget
our petty disputes
and band together.
211
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,632
When we're done with him,
Guess Who will be history!
212
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:53,157
What ho?
An ominous musical sting!
213
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,986
- Come in.
- Hello, I'm Ralph Polo.
214
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,423
And this is Schmatex.
215
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:01,296
Interesting.
Where do you have this made?
216
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,167
At the Hayley
Fabric Mills.
217
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,213
Mm, yes.
I wondered
218
00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:06,823
what happened
to the Hayley Mills.
219
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,869
I'll take 2,000 yards.
220
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,654
Sorry, Ralph, but I don't
sell wholesale to the trade.
221
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,874
Only to fine stores
everywhere.
222
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,921
This isn't easy,
but it sure beats working.
223
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:22,056
- Vogue.
- Vague.
224
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,362
Terminally hip!
225
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:28,540
- What's that smell?
- What smell?
226
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:31,543
So this is
the fabulous Schmatex.
227
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:35,373
Much too downtown for us.
Come, Christie.
228
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:39,377
I suspected that Christie
was an uptown girl.
229
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:42,119
If Christie recognized me,
she'd come back.
230
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:46,515
But if she didn't,
she wouldn't.
231
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:49,997
If she did and she didn't,
then why didn't she?
232
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,480
Hey, Guess.
Hey.
233
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,658
This should be good.
234
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,747
Please.
I'm Guess Who.
235
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,226
And you are?
236
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:05,360
O'Armani from the Irish
department store chain.
237
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,755
- What's that smell?
- What smell?
238
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:11,322
So, what do you
think of Schmatex?
239
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:12,715
It takes a vogue, vague,
240
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,543
and terminally hip
attitude to see it.
241
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,850
So, of course,
you had no trouble.
242
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:19,591
Right. Great.
Well, thanks for the--
243
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,855
whatever.
Stuff looks great.
244
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:22,986
You're probably--
245
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,727
Things are heating up
a bit, huh?
246
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:27,034
This show may not have
any faeries or witches,
247
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:29,384
but it has nudity,
so stick around.
248
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,300
Whoa!
249
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:36,043
Don't worry.
I saved the Schmatex.
250
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:42,092
It was
indescribable, sire.
251
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:45,139
But what did it look like,
Lord Bloomingdale?
252
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,707
Like-- like a combination
253
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,404
of springtime
254
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,319
and air.
255
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,148
Indeed.
256
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:56,498
Summon this Guess Who
to the palace.
257
00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:00,067
Mr. Who.
258
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:03,113
I would like you to create
an original garment for me
259
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,333
for the Label Day parade
260
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,248
out of Schmatex.
261
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,946
I would be honored, sucker--
I mean, sire.
262
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,862
Your pay will be the usual
astronomical sum.
263
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:16,387
My treasurers,
the Brooks Brothers,
264
00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:19,086
will visit you
with the first installment
in three days.
265
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,746
Whoa!
266
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:30,314
[ stammering ]
Be sure you have
something to show them!
267
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:32,099
In that case,
better make it two days.
268
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,672
You'd think Christie
would come back now
269
00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,457
while I'm glumly
sketching her face,
270
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,415
but no!
[ sighs ]
271
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:53,468
We're the Brooks Brothers,
the emperor's treasurers.
272
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:56,340
Albert, this seems
a bit thin, doesn't it?
273
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:59,822
Um, well, you know,
it's a work in progress.
274
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,868
Christie:
Oh, Guess, darling.
275
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,479
How is my Schmatex robe
coming along?
276
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:06,916
- Huh?
- [ sighs ]
277
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,267
[ Christie giggles ]
278
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:13,444
Albert, what's good enough
for the very rich and very
thin Christie Dinkley
279
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:15,185
is good enough for us,
wouldn't you say?
280
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:18,536
Uh, good work, Mr. Who.
Here's your money.
281
00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:21,844
[ grunts ]
282
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:24,847
Farewell, Guess,
and don't spend it all
in one place.
283
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,457
There must be
something there.
284
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,242
But if it's a hoax,
285
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:31,723
the emperor will
rip out his seams
and stonewash his jammies
286
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,247
with him in 'em.
287
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:36,380
[ knocks ]
288
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,995
- Christie!
- Benetton!
289
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,561
How'd you know
I wasn't Guess?
290
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:46,129
I guessed.
Oh, Ben,
291
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,392
I'm so proud of you
and your Schmatex.
292
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,481
It's nothing.
293
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,483
Just as I thought.
294
00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,485
But why are you
doing this?
295
00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:56,705
To show these people
what phonies they are.
296
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:59,142
And to get on
the 6:00 news.
297
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,449
The emperor is sending
a limo for me.
298
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,581
I'm going to dress him
for the parade today.
299
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:07,150
In Schmatex? But that means
he'll be--
300
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:10,980
But what if he finds out?
301
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:13,504
He'll rip out your seams
and stonewash your jammies.
302
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:17,117
What's worrying me more
is how we're going to get away
with this on a family show.
303
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,033
Don't worry, darling.
And don't go changing.
304
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:22,035
I like you
just the way you are.
305
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,136
Oof!
306
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:43,883
Ah, right on time.
307
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:45,406
Come in, dear boy.
308
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:50,759
Mr. Who, in four hours,
the entire empire
309
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,893
will watch me parade
down Seventh Avenue.
310
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:58,462
I want them to remember
what they see for the
rest of their lives.
311
00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:01,204
They will, sire.
I guarantee it.
312
00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:03,206
Oh, goody.
313
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:06,557
But first I must ask you
to take off all your clothes.
314
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,211
Voilà, sire.
315
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,257
The sheerest
of boxer shorts.
316
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,086
Made from 100%
virgin Schmatex.
317
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,784
How often do I have
to change these?
318
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:18,569
And now, the doublet,
whatever that means.
319
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,928
Sire, it's almost 11:00.
320
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:31,756
- And you're--
- Well, Lord Bloomingdale?
321
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,934
- What do you think?
- Sire, it's...
322
00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:36,283
fabulous.
323
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:39,939
It's a very lightweight
outfit, you know.
324
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:42,158
I feel like I'm not
325
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,247
wearing anything
at all.
326
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:45,988
What you need,
Your Excellency,
327
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,772
is the cape.
328
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,560
Well, it does have a certain
329
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,649
je ne sais quoi.
330
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,433
I didn't know
he was a Conehead.
331
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,138
[ marching band playing ]
332
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,102
Isn't this fun?
333
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,017
That's not
what you told Mommy.
334
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:18,455
You said the only thing
the Label Day parade
is good for
335
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:19,979
is getting off work.
336
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,026
She's a compulsively
honest child.
337
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:26,724
You see, we are poor,
but honest.
338
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:28,988
Daddy, look,
it's starting!
339
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,661
I thought you said
you could get rid of him.
340
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,359
A slam dunk.
341
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:54,491
Noblemen and noblewomen,
342
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,015
peasants and peons,
343
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,929
dudes and dudettes,
344
00:16:57,973 --> 00:17:01,585
welcome to this year's
Label Day parade!
345
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:04,371
And now it's my great
pride and privilege
346
00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:08,592
to present the most exalted
ruler of this nation
347
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:10,725
and its subject
colonies...
348
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,381
prince of the city,
lord of the manor,
349
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,731
king of the wild frontier,
350
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,515
and chicken of the sea...
351
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:21,170
a man who needs
no introduction,
352
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:23,216
the emperor!
353
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,658
I told you those
designers were cutthroat.
354
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:33,313
Gee, they've made me feel
right at home.
355
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,271
Yeah, if your home
was Waterloo.
356
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,317
You've got to stop this.
357
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,666
He'll throw you in jail.
358
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:41,538
That's okay.
I could use some
good stock tips.
359
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,192
[ collective gasp ]
360
00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,937
- [ music stops ]
- [ crowd chuckling ]
361
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:57,380
You know, I'd never
seen Schmatex in daylight.
362
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,078
It's startling.
363
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,949
Yes. In the sun,
364
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:03,604
it's as though you can
see right through it.
365
00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:17,357
Look, Daddy!
The emperor's naked!
366
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,098
Hey, Your Excellency,
367
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:22,492
did you, like,
forget something?
368
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,668
- Now, stop it.
That's not nice.
- [ crowd laughing ]
369
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:37,594
Here, sire.
370
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,684
One day you will
laugh at this too.
371
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:45,298
Oh, I intend
to laugh at this
in about five minutes.
372
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:48,039
As soon as I've locked
someone in the dungeon!
373
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,781
Who exactly
do you mean, sire?
374
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:55,438
Guess! I seem to be stark
raving naked, Mr. Who.
375
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:58,093
You lied to me!
You tricked me!
376
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,791
Oh, no, Excellency,
someone did lie to you,
377
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,402
but it wasn't me.
378
00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:04,578
Stop that.
No pictures!
379
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:08,582
Mr. Who, if you didn't lie
to me, then who did?!
380
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,323
Here comes the moral.
381
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:12,934
Everyone you trusted
lied to you.
382
00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:15,241
They did and he did.
383
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,286
And, of course,
they did.
384
00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:19,419
- Well, I never.
- How dare you?
385
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:22,204
- Your designs are a fraud.
- Sire, this man is a fraud.
386
00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,380
That's not what
you said last week.
387
00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:26,991
Here, sire,
put these on.
388
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:29,385
Hey, these feel
pretty good.
389
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:30,995
Who makes 'em?
390
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:34,434
A talented young man
named Benetton Esprit.
391
00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:36,392
Benetton Esprit.
392
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:39,526
That sounds familiar.
Where can I find him?
393
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,355
- Right here.
- You know,
394
00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,835
not one
of your designs
395
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:46,750
is as comfortable
as this.
396
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,188
Comfort isn't
everything, sire.
397
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,407
You need us
to tell you what's good.
398
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:55,194
Not anymore, I don't.
Watch this!
399
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,500
Ladies and gentlemen,
400
00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:01,200
in honor of this year's
Label Day parade,
401
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,855
I am donating
my entire wardrobe
402
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:07,771
to you, my subjects.
403
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:11,775
Go to the palace
and take whatever you want!
404
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:13,386
I'm serious!
405
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:15,692
Do you want them
or don't you?
406
00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,694
[ cheering, clamoring ]
407
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:21,568
But they're commoners.
408
00:20:21,611 --> 00:20:23,700
They're peasants.
409
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:25,441
Since you object,
410
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,051
I'm sending all of you
411
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:28,966
to open a discount
fashion outlet
412
00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:32,318
in one of our
Antarctic colonies!
413
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:34,537
And you!
414
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,235
Hope it's
a happy ending.
415
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,715
Would you be interested
in the position
416
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:41,283
of official designer
to the emperor?
417
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:46,680
That pig is taking
my leather riding suit!
418
00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:50,945
Sire, is
something wrong?
419
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,990
No, no.
420
00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:54,731
It's just that I've
always wanted
421
00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,430
to walk through
the town square without pants.
422
00:20:57,473 --> 00:21:00,346
And this is the only chance
I'll ever get.
423
00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:02,391
Care to join me?
424
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:15,491
- ♪ Gordon, send us...
- ♪ Oh, send us...
425
00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:20,322
♪ Into outer space
426
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:23,717
♪ 'Cause there ain't
nobody like you ♪
427
00:21:25,806 --> 00:21:31,202
♪ In the Melmacian race
428
00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:34,293
♪ Teach us, Gordon
429
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:36,643
♪ Make us twitch.
430
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:40,951
Hah!
I kill me!
30740
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