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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:13,839 [phone ringing softly] 2 00:01:21,114 --> 00:01:22,240 [Zak] George. 3 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,482 Georgie. 4 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,683 George. 5 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,785 Georgie. 6 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:39,856 [sigh] 7 00:01:44,671 --> 00:01:45,763 Shit. 8 00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:50,371 [groan] 9 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,206 Georgina, phone. 10 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,438 Georgina. 11 00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:55,037 What? What's the matter? 12 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,912 The phone is ringing, sweetheart. 13 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,211 I think it's for you. 14 00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:02,378 [groan] 15 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,820 [sigh] 16 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:09,020 Right. I'll get it. 17 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:15,633 What's the point of having an answerphone 18 00:02:15,702 --> 00:02:18,034 if you don't even switch it on. 19 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:20,732 Oh, shit! 20 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:24,504 Hello. 21 00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:28,673 Daniel, hi. All right, what's happened? Okay, calm... 22 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:35,551 Oh, that's great news. Mm. 23 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,715 How, how is she? 24 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:40,520 Oh. Ah-ha. 25 00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:44,962 Er, no, God, no, I'm really glad you woke me up to tell me that. Mmm. 26 00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:48,262 Right, well, er... I guess we'll, um, 27 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,928 we'll see you both, er, see the three of you soon. 28 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,063 Yeah, er, er, 29 00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:56,233 Okay. Well, well done you two. Bye. 30 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,376 Rebecca's had her baby. 31 00:03:00,446 --> 00:03:02,641 Yes. The, the baby has finally arrived. 32 00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:04,342 So, is it a boy or a girl? 33 00:03:04,417 --> 00:03:05,941 Er, hair, weight? 34 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,350 Um, they didn't say. 35 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,978 Name? Does it have a name? 36 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,317 Er, 37 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,756 Anything. Eye color? 38 00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:15,316 Eyes. Eyes. It's got eyes. 39 00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:18,956 [sigh] God, I hope it's got eyes. 40 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,091 [groans] 41 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:24,500 Your sister had a baby. A brand new little baby! 42 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:25,595 Yay! 43 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,866 Get dressed. 44 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,101 Are you mad? It's dark out there. 45 00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:30,199 We need a present. 46 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:31,743 It's the middle of the night. 47 00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:33,142 We need a present. 48 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,147 [sigh] Ok, I will go to the 24 hour garage. 49 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,241 Good plan. Get it 20 Bensons and a a Twix. 50 00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:41,549 Your sister had a baby. A teeny, tiny baby. 51 00:03:41,621 --> 00:03:43,248 I know, my darling. It's lovely. 52 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:51,192 I'll go to town with mum in the morning for the present. 53 00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:52,492 Good plan. 54 00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,395 Aren't you excited, just a little? 55 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:03,499 Well, um, now you come to mention it, 56 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:08,669 [Georgina groans] 57 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,613 Ooh, Miss Salt! 58 00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:15,643 Can you imagine what it's like to hold your very own little baby? 59 00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:16,711 Not really. 60 00:04:23,229 --> 00:04:24,821 Do we have to? 61 00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:25,886 Yeah. 62 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,537 I wish you weren't going. 63 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,236 It's only for a couple of nights. 64 00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,710 What time is Robert coming? 65 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,246 He's not. Alexandra is. 66 00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:44,306 Alexandra? That's a pretty name. 67 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:47,182 She's a failed fashion student or a model or something. 68 00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:49,050 A model? 69 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,317 You know. One of those annoying daddy's rich girls 70 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:54,690 who always gets bailed out. And as Daddy is our major financier... 71 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,695 She's going to Newcastle with you? 72 00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,663 No, no. Ireland, next week. 73 00:04:58,731 --> 00:04:59,959 What? 74 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,864 [car honks] Oh God, they're here. 75 00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:04,300 Couldn't you work with someone unattractive? 76 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:07,100 [chuckles] Don't worry, darling, she's not my type. 77 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:11,337 She looks a bit like a Russian tennis player. A male one. 78 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:12,901 (Georgina) Love you. 79 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,742 Yeah, me too! 80 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,242 (male voice) Hey Brian, she's here. 81 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,278 Your girlfriend's here, Brian. 82 00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:50,781 (Georgina) Morning, Jim. 83 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,408 (Jim) Morning, boss. 84 00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:57,956 Morning, Brian. 85 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:01,187 (Brian) [sighs] 86 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:02,227 Morning, boss. 87 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,785 How's it going? 88 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,229 Everything's fine from where I'm standing. 89 00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:09,496 Tell the rest of the Village People I don't want to be disturbed. 90 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,764 I have a lot of work and I need to get my head down. 91 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:14,807 Well, you don't have to. But if you insist. 92 00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,074 (workman) Hey, Brian-o, watch your hernia. 93 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:23,115 Can someone give Brian a hand? Looks like he's struggling. 94 00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:25,343 No, I'm fine. 95 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:27,386 (workman) Too heavy for you? 96 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,359 You big girl's blouse. [laughter] 97 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,599 Mum! 98 00:06:46,672 --> 00:06:48,401 (mum) Hello! 99 00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:49,805 Hello! 100 00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:56,445 You look so good. How are you? 101 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:57,744 I'm fine. 102 00:06:57,817 --> 00:07:02,117 Oh, my goodness. This looks a bit grand. 103 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:03,621 It's exciting. 104 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,486 I should think it's very pricey. 105 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:12,596 Now, darling, don't get carried away. 106 00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:17,535 Holy... 107 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,900 Shit! 108 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:22,737 [chatter] 109 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,737 Hello. 110 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,146 Oh, look, little dragonflies. 111 00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:41,125 I know. [mumbles] 112 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,924 (female voice) Your biological clock is ticking, 113 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,055 and you can't turn it back. 114 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:50,865 But for some women, this issue may be of even greater concern 115 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:54,566 and for those women, Doctor Dupompe 116 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,609 is the leading physician in the field of infertility. 117 00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,908 [doctor, French accent] The early menopause can affect as many 118 00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:06,316 as one in every four women, even as young as 34. 119 00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:08,114 Just like poor old Harriet. 120 00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:12,214 Auntie Harry? Hairy Harry? I thought she was just a lesbian. 121 00:08:12,291 --> 00:08:13,918 Come here, darling! 122 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:18,623 That Harriet. She always had problems down below. 123 00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:22,498 (woman) Dr Dupompe could be your hope in a barren world. 124 00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:25,765 (Dupompe) Symptoms include weight gain 125 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:30,400 headaches, changes in body odor, 126 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:33,775 and an increase in facial hair. 127 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,474 (mother) If it wasn't for Doctor Dupompe, 128 00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,244 I would have remained childless. 129 00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:42,117 (Dupompe) To put your mind at rest, why not visit us 130 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:46,215 at Dupompe Fertility Care. We care. 131 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:51,494 I'll take it. 132 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,623 It's 150 pounds! 133 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,098 Wrap it up. 134 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,836 Come on, we're going to be late. 135 00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:07,402 Calm down. It's just over there. 136 00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:13,842 (Clem) Oh, darling, please, slow down. 137 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:19,085 So, Arabella has found me the most fabulous new guru 138 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:22,389 who is going to change my life, and I have an appointment with her 139 00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:26,022 today at three o'clock. So, think I'll make it? Or should I call her? 140 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,122 [groan] 141 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:28,666 Alright, I'll just call her. 142 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,531 Darling, you know I'm there for you, 143 00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:32,901 but couldn't you have waited for Zak? 144 00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:35,805 I'm 33 years old, and early menopause runs in my family. 145 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,105 My mum is a good Catholic, I'm an only child, 146 00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:40,975 and Auntie Harry has a mustache. Do the maths! 147 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:45,143 Look, I've had five periods last year. Five out of a possible 12. 148 00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:46,343 Alright. 149 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,649 Not another word. 150 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:54,556 [phone rings] 151 00:09:54,627 --> 00:09:57,221 (female voice) Hello, Dupompe Fertility Clinic. 152 00:09:57,296 --> 00:10:00,561 Hope you're not as sterile as this room. 153 00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:04,899 How kind. Remind me again why you're here. 154 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:07,565 What does Zak think about all of this anyway? 155 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,505 Oh. Mmm. 156 00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:12,066 Oh, brilliant. 157 00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:15,341 Look, he's working really hard, I don't want to worry him. 158 00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:18,713 And you know he gets funny about women's bits and babies. 159 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:22,242 Darling, you're going to scare the living daylights out of him. 160 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:23,982 I want a baby more than anything. 161 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:27,219 I know it's a hideous concept to you but could you, for once just 162 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,091 be nice and supportive and agree with everything I say? 163 00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:34,222 (receptionist) Hello? Yes, of course. 164 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,700 Miss Salt, please. 165 00:10:40,506 --> 00:10:42,667 (Georgie) And this is my best friend Clem. 166 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:44,607 Hello to Miss Clem. 167 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:49,580 Who looks like a very healthy young lady. 168 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,173 Oh. 169 00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,684 Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. 170 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,948 It's always a pleasure to see young women 171 00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:59,958 who take their fertility health seriously. 172 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,927 Miss Clem, do you have 'des enfants'? 173 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:06,726 What, me? No. Not even 'des' goldfish. 174 00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,131 I don't want to ruin my physique. 175 00:11:09,201 --> 00:11:10,930 Such a pity, no? So, 176 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,563 down to business, yes? 177 00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:15,106 Yes. 178 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:21,909 Now, laparoscopy is a very light surgery. 179 00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:24,745 There is no scars whatsoever. 180 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:28,446 It's just a little peek at the ovaries. 181 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,386 Well, it should be free, then. 182 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:33,425 Thank you, Clem. When will we know that everything is okay? 183 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:37,394 Soon enough. Well, I'm sure a healthy young lady like you 184 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:43,402 has nothing to worry about. Okay? Shall we get started? 185 00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:50,398 Your best, best friend can come back for you in about three hours. 186 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:56,574 Right. Good luck. 187 00:11:56,649 --> 00:12:00,016 And no funny business. I'm a lawyer. 188 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,111 Mmm-hmm. 189 00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:08,624 (doctor) Nurse, prepare five milligrams to start with. 190 00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:10,161 (female nurse) Yes, doctor. 191 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,753 Thank you. 192 00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:17,433 Calm down, Miss Salt. 193 00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:23,305 We'll just put you into a twilight sleep. 194 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,740 Hmm. 195 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,816 [airplane] 196 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:45,127 Hi! 197 00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,164 Hello! 198 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,166 I'm glad you're back. 199 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:49,826 Ooh! 200 00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:53,133 We're going to a party at your sister's house for the baby. 201 00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:55,799 What? Now? You are joking? 202 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,399 [giggles] 203 00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:59,467 Okay, okay. 204 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:13,354 Don't wind Daniel up about his 'Chelsea tractor. ' 205 00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:15,359 Don't get pissed and do the crap joke. 206 00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:16,826 The elephant is very funny. 207 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,363 In front of your mother? 208 00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,830 And at least pretend you're interested in the baby. 209 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:21,798 Okay! 210 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:22,993 [squeal] 211 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,635 Hello. 212 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:28,468 Hello, darling. 213 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,008 Congratulations. 214 00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,873 (Zak) Ah, yeah. 215 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:36,210 Eyes. It's got eyes. Two of them. Told you. 216 00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:39,410 They generally come with eyes. 217 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:43,615 Cor, It's got a kind of squidged up face 218 00:13:43,689 --> 00:13:47,557 as well. It's all sort of squidgy. Just there. 219 00:13:47,626 --> 00:13:50,459 How nice of you to point out the squidginess. 220 00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:55,330 But 'it' is a she. Your niece, Arabella. 221 00:13:55,401 --> 00:14:01,203 Oh, it's not... it's not doing a shit, is it? 222 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:04,674 [scoffs] No, she's yawning. 223 00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:05,835 Oh. 224 00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,641 She's so beautiful, look at her. 225 00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,113 Yeah, God, love her. 226 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,082 Is there any, um...? 227 00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,188 Can l...? 228 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,621 Have her? By all means. 229 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:22,627 I lost all feeling in my left arm 20 minutes ago. 230 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:23,957 Hello. 231 00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,724 It's not good for my nether regions 232 00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,993 to be sitting in the one place for too long. 233 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,160 Jesus Christ, what is that?! 234 00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:37,765 That's me. It's what's called a belly cast. 235 00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:40,004 God, that's amazing. 236 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:41,341 It took forever. 237 00:14:56,195 --> 00:14:57,287 It's funny. 238 00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:59,923 I wasn't keen at first 239 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:01,591 but I'm really glad that Daniel 240 00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,100 persuaded me to get it done. 241 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,932 There you go. Don't touch it. 242 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:08,667 It's a perfect reminder of a precious time. 243 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,871 And a constant reminder of why I have stretch marks. 244 00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:16,005 It's a small price to pay. 245 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,548 [crash] [gasp] 246 00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:19,811 (boy) Uh-oh. 247 00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:22,979 (Rebecca) My poor belly. 248 00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:26,024 (Zak) I didn't, that wasn't... 249 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:32,688 That was... right, that was... 250 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,629 What you doing? 251 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,132 Sorry. 252 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,428 [sigh] 253 00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,470 Well, don't walk off like that, I mean, 254 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:41,506 someone is gonna have to clear it up. 255 00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:43,006 Oh. 256 00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:44,042 Kids! 257 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,138 Well, that didn't go too badly. 258 00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,206 That was you, wasn't it? 259 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:56,846 What? That little boy was running around... 260 00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:59,015 You smashed your sister's sculpture. 261 00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:00,683 Yeah. 262 00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:03,557 It's bad enough you broke it, but you blame a three year-old. 263 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,823 I'm sorry. 264 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,524 You couldn't care less. 265 00:16:06,598 --> 00:16:08,463 Well, you know... 266 00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:12,026 Exactly. How could I ever think you'd be responsible enough to be a father? 267 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:13,571 Overreaction! 268 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,867 What's the point? 269 00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:25,682 Rebecca is looking well, isn't she... darling? 270 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,485 Yes. 271 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,289 Bizarrely, this baby lark seems to suit her. 272 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,956 Why would the concept of a baby suiting someone be so bizarre to you? 273 00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:40,862 I'm just saying my sister is doing well. 274 00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:43,993 Strange that she's three years younger but much more mature. 275 00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:45,866 That's your opinion. 276 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:49,032 You've won every prize possible for your documentaries. 277 00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:51,269 What more do you need to prove you're ready? 278 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:55,404 You can't keep avoiding the issue. Just tell me why do you hate... 279 00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:57,540 I do not hate babies! Okay? 280 00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:59,413 How'd you know I was gonna say "babies"? 281 00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,817 Stop the car. 282 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,582 No, I'm not gonna stop the car. 283 00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:05,350 It's all about you, isn't it? 284 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,221 What about what makes me happy? 285 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:08,691 All right then. 286 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:09,853 Good! 287 00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,623 (driver) Idiot! 288 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,494 Hmpf! 289 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:17,057 Georgina, get back in the car, you're being ridiculous. 290 00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,763 All right, we'll talk. 291 00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:21,670 I don't wanna talk to a babyaphobe. 292 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,970 If you won't give me what I need, 293 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,943 then I'll find someone else who will. 294 00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:27,706 You mark my words. 295 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,351 Where you going? 296 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:42,053 [city sounds] 297 00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,563 Fuck sake. 298 00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,426 Fuck off! 299 00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:03,976 You can stay here as long as it takes. 300 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:06,279 Yeah, thanks, mate. 301 00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:09,286 Just give her a couple of days, she'll calm down. 302 00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:11,117 You know what they're like. 303 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:14,820 Women. 304 00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:17,123 Yes, women. 305 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:20,889 Who would have them? 306 00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:21,660 Me. 307 00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:22,563 Yeah. 308 00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,124 And you. 309 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:28,071 If she'd let you back in your flat... Which she won't. 310 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,074 Well... just leave her to sweat it out. 311 00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:33,578 I'll be back from Ireland in a couple of weeks. She'll be all over me. 312 00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:39,880 You should never have put the words "hate" and "baby" in the same sentence. 313 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,283 Big mistake? 314 00:18:41,353 --> 00:18:44,151 She's not getting any younger, is she? 315 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:47,681 No. She's not a spring chicken. 316 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:53,163 And in my experience, when they hit a certain age, 317 00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:56,201 they get funny about babies and shite. 318 00:18:56,268 --> 00:19:00,329 Bloody biological clock. 319 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:07,068 You know what, Benny boy? You're right. 320 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:11,549 I fancy just chilling here, sinking a couple of beers... 321 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:14,177 watch some shit on the telly. 322 00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:19,088 Just you and me. Couple of big men having some big man fun. 323 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:23,959 [slap] Zak. Too gay. 324 00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,429 Yeah, it was a bit, wasn't it? Sorry. 325 00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,812 [cell phone rings] 326 00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,219 Hello? 327 00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:57,785 (female voice) Miss Salt? 328 00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,797 Dr Dupompe would like to see you. 329 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,127 Yes, I'll be there. 330 00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,297 Bollocks! 331 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:21,850 (doctor) A woman is born with a definitive number of ova 332 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,117 and then the shop 333 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:28,387 [thud] shuts. 334 00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,690 But I have some left? 335 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:37,326 Madame, I can see only one ovum on the right. 336 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:42,430 Now, you have two weeks before you ovulate 337 00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:43,940 and then... 338 00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,842 It's bye-bye baby, hello mustache. 339 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:51,144 Clem! So when exactly do I ovulate? 340 00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:56,282 The 22nd, 341 00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:58,220 23rd, 24th and 25th. 342 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,190 Oh, the 25th is my birthday. 343 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,420 Then a baby shall be your gift. 344 00:21:02,494 --> 00:21:05,054 Now, for these four days, 345 00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:10,067 you will need to spend every second with your husband. 346 00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:11,625 I don't have a husband. 347 00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,330 Your boyfriend? 348 00:21:13,405 --> 00:21:15,839 No, there's no-one. 349 00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:19,604 Can't you just take it out 350 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:21,771 and put it in a lovely little container 351 00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:23,838 and cryogenically freeze it for later? 352 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:27,908 Madame, it's not a sorbet. 353 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,146 May I suggest...? 354 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,621 Sperm? I don't want sperm, I want a baby. 355 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,237 Hello! 356 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,906 How are you? 357 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:57,971 [sigh] 358 00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:58,880 Are you okay? 359 00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:02,010 It's terrible. 360 00:22:02,087 --> 00:22:04,647 Really, really bad. What's happened. 361 00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:06,020 Well, what? 362 00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:08,423 I spoke to my guru last night, 363 00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:11,553 says that I can't eat chocolate anymore. 364 00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:14,098 That it's blocking all my chakras. 365 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,930 It's just so hard for me to imagine. 366 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,971 So... that's it. 367 00:22:20,038 --> 00:22:24,407 For the rest of my life. No chocolate ever. 368 00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:26,944 Yeah. 369 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:31,449 Do you have the same chocolate chakra thing? 370 00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:37,519 I have this weird recurring nightmare, where I wake up, 371 00:22:37,589 --> 00:22:40,558 and I'm old and hairy and alone. 372 00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:43,185 And I'm actually living my nightmare. 373 00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:47,061 I ordered starters because I thought you might be peckish. 374 00:22:47,132 --> 00:22:50,499 Listen, you're not hairy or old, you're beautiful. 375 00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:51,968 Thank you. 376 00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,109 I need more than one egg! 377 00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:05,882 You can have mine, if you like. 378 00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:11,685 Darling, she's only got one egg left, down there. 379 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,786 One ovum left. 380 00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:16,452 What, you mean... 381 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:17,654 Yes. 382 00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:22,189 Oh God. Just the one? Oh... 383 00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:26,135 That's bad, isn't it? Is that bad? 384 00:23:26,204 --> 00:23:28,104 Listen, listen, 385 00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:32,269 remember when we were 14 and the dentist said you needed braces? 386 00:23:32,344 --> 00:23:35,643 We said that we were going to go get 10 second opinions 387 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:38,683 and we did go get ten second opinions and 388 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,218 all the dentists said that you needed braces. 389 00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:43,277 We don't have time for second opinions. 390 00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:47,291 I've got two weeks, I've only got the one egg left. Just one! 391 00:23:51,296 --> 00:23:55,858 Right. Yeah. Um... 392 00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:58,528 (Georgina) I prefer the red to the London stock, 393 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:01,037 but the red is 1 p more. 394 00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:03,131 (1st workman) It's your choice, boss. 395 00:24:03,208 --> 00:24:05,233 This is the local one. 396 00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:07,244 [inaudible] 397 00:24:07,312 --> 00:24:10,213 Hmm. That one. 398 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,374 No, that one. 399 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,908 No, er, that one. Hang on a sec. 400 00:24:14,986 --> 00:24:15,953 Right. 401 00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:22,358 [cell vibrating] 402 00:24:22,427 --> 00:24:24,224 Alexandra, can you get that please? 403 00:24:39,744 --> 00:24:41,439 [busy signal] 404 00:24:41,513 --> 00:24:44,573 [breathes in deeply] Wait right there. 405 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,787 (Alex) It wasn't important. 406 00:24:49,855 --> 00:24:51,379 Let me know if Georgina calls. 407 00:24:51,456 --> 00:24:54,448 I thought you guys broke up. 408 00:25:06,037 --> 00:25:07,402 Georgina, I just need... 409 00:25:07,472 --> 00:25:10,236 We'll do it later. John, out, I'm in a hurry. 410 00:25:53,785 --> 00:25:54,752 Good morning. 411 00:25:54,819 --> 00:25:56,150 I wondered... 412 00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:58,587 Hi! Alexandra. 413 00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:01,421 Hi. Nice to meet you. 414 00:26:01,493 --> 00:26:02,926 Is Zak Solomon in? 415 00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:04,154 And you are... 416 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,891 Georgina. His... friend. 417 00:26:06,965 --> 00:26:09,490 Funny. He's not mentioned you. 418 00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:13,004 Really? Oh, is he here? 419 00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:15,369 Zakkie? You just missed him. 420 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,135 He left for Ireland this morning. 421 00:26:17,208 --> 00:26:20,041 He wasn't supposed to leave till tomorrow! 422 00:26:20,111 --> 00:26:24,013 Last minute change. He said he just couldn't wait to get away. 423 00:26:24,082 --> 00:26:26,812 You know how impulsive Zakkie is. 424 00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:29,979 There must be some way of contacting him. It's really urgent. 425 00:26:30,055 --> 00:26:33,616 His cell phone doesn't work on the island. Sorry. 426 00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:36,456 There must be some way to contact him? 427 00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:38,996 I'll be joining him tomorrow, so leave it with me. 428 00:26:39,064 --> 00:26:42,795 I'll tell him to call... who are you again? 429 00:26:42,867 --> 00:26:45,335 Georgina! Can you write it down? 430 00:26:45,403 --> 00:26:48,531 He's booked us this quaint little B & B in the middle of nowhere. 431 00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:50,165 Maybe that'll have a land line. 432 00:26:50,241 --> 00:26:54,041 No running water or heating, mind you. 433 00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:57,138 Just each other... for warmth. 434 00:26:58,750 --> 00:26:59,944 Are you and Zak...? 435 00:27:00,018 --> 00:27:01,280 Hello Daddy? 436 00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:04,914 It was really nice to meet you, Geraldine. 437 00:27:04,990 --> 00:27:08,687 Daddy, I need more allowance for my trip. 438 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,753 Yes, to Ireland. Oh, really? I'm so excited! 439 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,738 You're probably just working too hard. 440 00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:10,220 Why don't you take a holiday with Clem? Find somewhere nice. 441 00:28:10,288 --> 00:28:12,256 Go and have some fun. 442 00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:17,022 Holidays are for happy people who want to spend time with their loved ones. 443 00:28:17,095 --> 00:28:19,723 [doorbell] 444 00:28:19,798 --> 00:28:24,132 Hello! How's my favorite lady? 445 00:28:24,202 --> 00:28:25,191 Hello, darling. 446 00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:26,134 Hello. 447 00:28:26,204 --> 00:28:27,899 Fancy a cuppa? 448 00:28:27,972 --> 00:28:30,668 May I have a cappuccino with extra cream and choccy? 449 00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:32,232 Thank you. 450 00:28:32,310 --> 00:28:36,610 So, darling, I have done it. 451 00:28:36,681 --> 00:28:39,616 I have called Guru Luke, 452 00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:42,209 and she said it's all right to give your "spunk" 453 00:28:42,287 --> 00:28:44,812 to a complete stranger. Namaste. 454 00:28:49,260 --> 00:28:51,660 So, how long will it take to get to Scotland? 455 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,493 Ireland. We're going to Ireland. 456 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:54,759 Oh. 457 00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:57,301 It's probably about a 45-minute flight. 458 00:28:57,368 --> 00:29:01,532 Then a boat trip over. Should be at the hotel by about teatime. 459 00:29:01,606 --> 00:29:03,301 Soda rolls and cheese, I expect. 460 00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:06,673 Not cheese. It gives me migraines. Believe me, it's not pretty. 461 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:09,646 I barf like an elephant. 462 00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:11,045 Nice. 463 00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:16,653 (Georgina) To the most successful insemination 464 00:29:16,721 --> 00:29:17,619 that will ever be. 465 00:29:17,689 --> 00:29:18,485 Yay. 466 00:29:21,626 --> 00:29:25,995 Alright, darling, how's the plan? 467 00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:28,191 It's in development. 468 00:29:28,266 --> 00:29:30,166 Let's have a look. 469 00:29:34,672 --> 00:29:36,162 There's nothing on it. 470 00:29:36,241 --> 00:29:38,232 I need your help. 471 00:29:38,309 --> 00:29:41,642 Darling, help her. 472 00:29:49,754 --> 00:29:50,846 Don't look. 473 00:29:50,922 --> 00:29:53,152 Stop being such a queen. 474 00:29:56,194 --> 00:29:58,662 How obvious, Justin. Very deep. 475 00:29:58,730 --> 00:30:00,891 "Sexy straight man." That's practical. 476 00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:03,957 And on Day Four 477 00:30:04,035 --> 00:30:08,665 if we erase "sexy" and "straight" 478 00:30:08,740 --> 00:30:13,143 and add "Justin." 479 00:30:15,613 --> 00:30:17,706 I think you're very sexy. 480 00:30:31,863 --> 00:30:35,094 Just stunning. 481 00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:38,658 So close to the mainland, but so wild and untouched. 482 00:30:38,736 --> 00:30:43,469 Oh, yes. We're untouched by the modern hand of Satan. 483 00:30:43,541 --> 00:30:46,567 Apart from the odd plane or two. 484 00:30:46,644 --> 00:30:49,738 Island Life. The Rugged West. 485 00:30:49,814 --> 00:30:52,749 Day One, we find ourselves in Inishmaan. 486 00:30:52,817 --> 00:30:55,149 [buzz] 487 00:30:55,220 --> 00:30:57,882 It's the least populated of the Aran islands. 488 00:30:57,956 --> 00:30:59,617 It's a wild, rugged beauty 489 00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:03,286 which has embraced human life for over 5, 000 years. 490 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:05,329 Is there a TV? 491 00:31:07,298 --> 00:31:09,892 Why waste time doing a TV program 492 00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:12,994 about people who don't own a TV? Doesn't make sense. 493 00:31:13,071 --> 00:31:15,539 If every assistant was like you, 494 00:31:15,607 --> 00:31:18,508 there'd be a drastic improvement in viewing quality. 495 00:31:18,576 --> 00:31:20,976 You're right there. 496 00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:22,740 [groan] 497 00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:36,823 I don't want any stranger, someone I know is awkward 498 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,420 and we've established the sperm bank is a no-no. 499 00:31:39,497 --> 00:31:41,488 What about "Sexy Brian"? 500 00:31:41,566 --> 00:31:43,693 How could I look him in the face every day? 501 00:31:43,768 --> 00:31:45,759 What about "Sexy Brian"? 502 00:31:48,172 --> 00:31:49,662 It's not ethical. 503 00:31:49,741 --> 00:31:52,301 I don't feel we're focused. 504 00:31:52,377 --> 00:31:56,780 I really don't. What about a wedding? 505 00:31:56,848 --> 00:32:01,876 Because everyone's really pissed and there's loads of love in the room. 506 00:32:01,953 --> 00:32:03,352 Yeah, or a Christmas party. 507 00:32:03,421 --> 00:32:05,548 In April? 508 00:32:05,623 --> 00:32:06,612 Right. A funeral. 509 00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:07,885 That's sick. 510 00:32:07,959 --> 00:32:09,256 I love it. 511 00:32:09,327 --> 00:32:10,658 Yeah, think about it. 512 00:32:10,728 --> 00:32:13,390 There are a lot of vulnerable men, 513 00:32:13,464 --> 00:32:16,456 overwhelmed with emotion and not thinking too straight, 514 00:32:16,534 --> 00:32:21,233 some alcohol, gorgeous Georgie, easy pickings. 515 00:32:21,306 --> 00:32:25,970 I think it's fantastic. Alright, so, to review. 516 00:32:26,044 --> 00:32:29,104 On Day One you are going to lure 517 00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:33,310 a really sexy handpicked stranger back to your apartment, right? 518 00:32:33,384 --> 00:32:36,080 The only thing to figure out is how you're going to lure 519 00:32:36,154 --> 00:32:38,315 the stranger back to your apartment. 520 00:32:38,389 --> 00:32:40,584 Then, on Day Two, if you haven't shagged, 521 00:32:40,658 --> 00:32:43,422 then you go to a very chic, tasteful burial. 522 00:32:43,494 --> 00:32:47,294 The dead man can be no older than 40, because he'll have loads 523 00:32:47,365 --> 00:32:50,425 of really sad lonely friends you'll have to comfort. 524 00:32:50,501 --> 00:32:54,096 On Day Three, if you haven't shagged by then 525 00:32:54,172 --> 00:32:57,699 we'll just have to go to some club, and you'll just 526 00:32:57,775 --> 00:33:00,300 take the first randy stranger. 527 00:33:00,378 --> 00:33:04,371 And take him back to a hotel, it's easier to escape. 528 00:33:04,449 --> 00:33:08,681 And I do know of a really fabulous hotel near the club I've in mind. 529 00:33:08,753 --> 00:33:12,348 And if we do get to Day Four, Justin, darling, my pet, 530 00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:15,449 I'll even get you a hotel room. 531 00:33:15,526 --> 00:33:18,154 I think you should definitely buy some sperm 532 00:33:18,229 --> 00:33:20,060 just in case the plan is a flop. 533 00:33:20,131 --> 00:33:24,534 Justin? I think with you on hand for the top-up, 534 00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:28,504 this plan is foolproof. 535 00:33:57,769 --> 00:34:00,067 So Lizzie decided to get a lodger. 536 00:34:00,138 --> 00:34:01,571 She puts one ad in The Post 537 00:34:01,639 --> 00:34:03,971 and the first guy that walks in within 10 seconds 538 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:06,909 they're having sex all over the apartment. So... 539 00:34:06,978 --> 00:34:08,878 No, that's it, that's it. 540 00:34:08,946 --> 00:34:11,847 Day One, we advertise your house to let, 541 00:34:11,916 --> 00:34:14,749 by luring the Sexy Stranger to your house. 542 00:34:14,819 --> 00:34:16,787 Have to tidy up Zak's stuff. 543 00:34:16,854 --> 00:34:20,381 But you're really getting the hang of it! 544 00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:23,757 Oh Clem, look. There's Ben. 545 00:34:23,828 --> 00:34:25,762 Maybe he knows how to get hold of Zak. 546 00:34:25,830 --> 00:34:27,297 Oh God. 547 00:34:27,365 --> 00:34:29,265 All right? 548 00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:31,563 Stop it, stop it. Don't, don't. 549 00:34:31,636 --> 00:34:32,660 Why? 550 00:34:32,737 --> 00:34:34,227 Don't call him over, please. 551 00:34:34,305 --> 00:34:35,465 Have you and Ben...? 552 00:34:35,540 --> 00:34:36,939 I have not and I never will. 553 00:34:37,008 --> 00:34:37,997 All right, girls? 554 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:39,543 Ben! 555 00:34:39,610 --> 00:34:41,168 (dryly Hello. 556 00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:43,645 Interesting tree? 557 00:34:43,714 --> 00:34:48,879 Yes, I happen to like the bark and the leaves on the tree very much. 558 00:34:48,953 --> 00:34:50,716 Getting in shape? 559 00:34:50,788 --> 00:34:55,282 I don't think there's anything wrong with my shape, thank you. 560 00:34:55,359 --> 00:34:57,657 I know. 561 00:34:57,728 --> 00:35:01,164 We're in a park, and Clem needed a wee, so... 562 00:35:01,232 --> 00:35:03,132 The tree gets it. 563 00:35:03,201 --> 00:35:07,831 If you don't mind, I'd actually like a bit of privacy. 564 00:35:07,905 --> 00:35:09,964 I'm really glad we bumped into you, 565 00:35:10,041 --> 00:35:12,236 I really need to get hold of Zak. 566 00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:15,336 Sorry, I don't do domestics. Keep me out. 567 00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:18,712 I know it's a lot to ask, but it's really urgent. 568 00:35:18,783 --> 00:35:22,446 [sigh] If he gets in touch, I'll tell him to call. 569 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,215 Thanks, Ben. 570 00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:25,983 Ben, 571 00:35:26,057 --> 00:35:28,184 can you please go back to your friends 572 00:35:28,259 --> 00:35:30,523 so I can have a wee? Thanks. 573 00:35:30,595 --> 00:35:32,222 Watching is out of the question? 574 00:35:32,296 --> 00:35:33,695 Ew. 575 00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:39,198 All right, lads, slide it over here. 576 00:35:39,270 --> 00:35:40,328 Shut up. 577 00:35:40,404 --> 00:35:41,428 I like bark. 578 00:35:41,506 --> 00:35:43,736 Shut up. Stop it. 579 00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:45,241 What was wrong with you? 580 00:35:53,784 --> 00:35:55,877 (Clem) Beautiful apartment for rent. 581 00:35:55,953 --> 00:35:58,080 Open for viewing between six and eight. 582 00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,386 It's not too early for you to have sex, is it? 583 00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:04,895 Hello? Yes, it would suit a young professional person 584 00:36:04,962 --> 00:36:09,831 Dark, handsome males in prime physical condition. 585 00:36:09,901 --> 00:36:11,892 (female) Maybe you'd prefer to place it 586 00:36:11,969 --> 00:36:13,698 in the 'lonely hearts' section? 587 00:36:13,771 --> 00:36:15,966 This is a serious advertisement. 588 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,338 The apartment just happens to be very manly. 589 00:36:18,409 --> 00:36:23,073 Of course, madam. Can I take your credit card details, please? 590 00:36:23,147 --> 00:36:24,842 [squeal] 591 00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:29,216 (Clem) Are you sure you want to go through with this? 592 00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:33,815 I want to be pregnant. I want to be a mother. 593 00:36:33,891 --> 00:36:36,121 I want the whole experience. 594 00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:39,254 My whole body is just aching for it. 595 00:36:42,099 --> 00:36:43,088 All right. 596 00:36:43,167 --> 00:36:48,503 [opera music] 597 00:36:48,573 --> 00:36:49,835 Justin! 598 00:36:49,907 --> 00:36:50,874 [gasp] 599 00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:52,876 Justin, for fuck's sake! 600 00:36:52,944 --> 00:36:53,842 Sorry, Coco. 601 00:36:56,447 --> 00:36:58,938 Hello. Be careful. 602 00:36:59,016 --> 00:36:59,914 Hello. 603 00:36:59,984 --> 00:37:02,043 Hello. 604 00:37:02,119 --> 00:37:05,953 So, Georgie has hundreds of professional young males 605 00:37:06,023 --> 00:37:08,924 coming tomorrow, so can you make her look fabulous 606 00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:11,018 and just do your magicky things? 607 00:37:11,095 --> 00:37:12,528 Right. 608 00:37:12,597 --> 00:37:16,294 And, Justin, I want to be sexy but not too slutty. 609 00:37:21,505 --> 00:37:24,201 (Clem) Only one ovum left. 610 00:37:24,275 --> 00:37:26,106 (Georgina) I need more than one egg. 611 00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:28,168 On Day One, a sexy handpicked stranger 612 00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:29,907 will be lured to your apartment, 613 00:37:29,981 --> 00:37:32,006 but we need to find a way to lure him back. 614 00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:33,812 [alarm clock rings] 615 00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:28,261 "My belly is a welcoming womb of warmth and willingness." 616 00:38:28,339 --> 00:38:36,610 My belly is a welcoming womb of warmth and willingness. 617 00:38:44,455 --> 00:38:46,787 I didn't realize microphones were so fluffy. 618 00:38:46,857 --> 00:38:50,224 The mic is inside. 619 00:38:50,294 --> 00:38:52,091 Do they come in different colors? 620 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:53,926 A pink one would look really cool. 621 00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:55,590 Great idea. 622 00:39:04,041 --> 00:39:05,599 Ow! 623 00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:08,979 So, 624 00:39:11,415 --> 00:39:16,352 we'll spend the first few days shooting G Vs, landscapes, etcetera. 625 00:39:16,420 --> 00:39:17,546 Pretty pictures? 626 00:39:18,823 --> 00:39:20,552 Yeah, yeah. 627 00:39:20,624 --> 00:39:23,718 And when people are used to seeing us, 628 00:39:23,794 --> 00:39:26,024 when we've had a few drinks 629 00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:27,928 we can start doing some interviews. 630 00:39:27,998 --> 00:39:30,228 Try to fit in, gain people's trust. 631 00:39:30,301 --> 00:39:32,360 Integrity, that sort of thing. 632 00:39:32,436 --> 00:39:36,839 Oh, you're so cute and so fluffy and adorable! 633 00:39:36,907 --> 00:39:39,307 Zak, take a picture of this! 634 00:39:41,479 --> 00:39:44,846 You do realize that donkey probably has rabies. 635 00:39:44,915 --> 00:39:48,851 [whimpers] 636 00:39:54,992 --> 00:39:57,620 [gasps] 637 00:39:59,463 --> 00:40:01,192 [gasp] 638 00:40:01,265 --> 00:40:03,790 Are you sure we're doing the right thing? 639 00:40:03,868 --> 00:40:06,701 Stop panicking. It's really going to be fine. 640 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,804 Darling, what's all this? 641 00:40:12,877 --> 00:40:15,345 (Georgina) I thought I'd make a casual reference 642 00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:17,108 and see how compatible we are. 643 00:40:17,181 --> 00:40:19,649 You're not going to marry them, you want their sperm. 644 00:40:19,717 --> 00:40:23,448 But if I want a nice baby it helps to have similar interests. 645 00:40:23,521 --> 00:40:25,284 Have you prepared your story? 646 00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:27,256 Uh, no. 647 00:40:27,324 --> 00:40:29,383 What are you going to say about yourself? 648 00:40:29,460 --> 00:40:31,951 I'm Georgina Salt, I own a construction company. 649 00:40:32,029 --> 00:40:33,018 No! 650 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:34,394 No? 651 00:40:34,465 --> 00:40:35,830 No. 652 00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:38,460 I'm Georgina Salt, I own a construction company. 653 00:40:38,536 --> 00:40:40,527 No, they don't want a girl in a hard hat, 654 00:40:40,604 --> 00:40:45,371 they want a woman who is strange and mysterious and fabulous. 655 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:49,038 Strange, mysterious, fabulous. 656 00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:50,444 Try these. 657 00:40:50,514 --> 00:40:53,039 They're sort of... 658 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:54,948 They're just... 659 00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:57,820 We should go. 660 00:40:57,888 --> 00:40:59,753 Good luck. 661 00:41:05,095 --> 00:41:07,086 (Justin) Hang on. Another dog. 662 00:41:07,164 --> 00:41:10,895 No. We asked for handsome professional males. 663 00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:12,196 Quick! 664 00:41:13,804 --> 00:41:17,934 Hi. Sorry. Are you here to rent that apartment? 665 00:41:18,008 --> 00:41:22,843 No, I'm so sorry, but it's been rented by me and my fiance. 666 00:41:22,913 --> 00:41:24,778 We're just so in love. Sorry. 667 00:41:24,849 --> 00:41:25,838 [mumbles] 668 00:41:25,916 --> 00:41:27,076 Oh God. 669 00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:36,923 Did you not put "straight" in the ad? 670 00:41:52,142 --> 00:41:54,872 Oh God, this is a complete waste of time. 671 00:41:54,945 --> 00:41:57,470 [groan] Hello, soldier. 672 00:42:00,017 --> 00:42:01,382 [doorbell] 673 00:42:03,654 --> 00:42:06,088 Hi. Bob Tushy. 674 00:42:06,156 --> 00:42:08,351 You have a really nice place. 675 00:42:08,425 --> 00:42:09,915 Thank you. 676 00:42:09,994 --> 00:42:14,294 So, where are you heading? 677 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:19,132 Ummm, I've been headhunted to head-up the head office. 678 00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:21,967 It's very exciting stuff. 679 00:42:22,039 --> 00:42:25,406 So where's head office? Anywhere nice? 680 00:42:25,476 --> 00:42:28,343 Ummm, Kazakhstan. 681 00:42:30,247 --> 00:42:31,236 Wow. 682 00:42:34,818 --> 00:42:38,777 What will a... beautiful lady like you do out there? 683 00:42:38,856 --> 00:42:43,054 Umm, it's very hush-hush, on the QT, but 684 00:42:43,127 --> 00:42:45,925 I'll probably be killed while I'm away. 685 00:42:51,635 --> 00:42:53,159 Right. 686 00:42:53,237 --> 00:42:54,636 Would you like to sit down? 687 00:42:54,705 --> 00:42:56,229 Okay. 688 00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,275 Do you like Italian food? 689 00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:05,440 I love it. 690 00:43:05,516 --> 00:43:06,744 Oh! 691 00:43:06,817 --> 00:43:08,614 I started making my own pasta recently. 692 00:43:08,686 --> 00:43:10,813 Messy, but it's worth it. 693 00:43:10,888 --> 00:43:12,651 What do you make? 694 00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:16,454 Linguine, tortellini... All kinds. 695 00:43:19,496 --> 00:43:20,588 Do you like France? 696 00:43:20,664 --> 00:43:23,895 I just went there on my holidays. 697 00:43:23,968 --> 00:43:24,957 Yeah. 698 00:43:25,035 --> 00:43:27,333 Oh! Where did you go? 699 00:43:27,404 --> 00:43:30,965 Paris, and then Versailles, which is amazing. 700 00:43:31,041 --> 00:43:33,134 I've been there. It's so beautiful. 701 00:43:33,210 --> 00:43:34,370 Stunning, really. 702 00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:36,037 Yes. 703 00:43:37,848 --> 00:43:39,645 Do you like architecture? 704 00:43:39,717 --> 00:43:42,743 My sister's an architect. 705 00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:46,381 [phone rings] I have a lot of respect for what she does 706 00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:48,982 because, um, she builds things... 707 00:43:49,059 --> 00:43:51,289 then, they're always there. 708 00:43:53,130 --> 00:43:55,564 (Zak, phone beeps) Georgina, darling, it's me! 709 00:43:55,633 --> 00:43:58,227 Baby, if you're there, pick up please! 710 00:43:58,302 --> 00:43:59,701 Hello? 711 00:44:01,405 --> 00:44:03,430 Darling, it's me. 712 00:44:03,507 --> 00:44:05,873 Baby, if you're there, can you pick up please? 713 00:44:05,943 --> 00:44:06,841 Zak! 714 00:44:06,910 --> 00:44:08,468 Darling? 715 00:44:08,545 --> 00:44:10,069 Thank God. I'm so glad you called. 716 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:11,842 Just, um, hold on. 717 00:44:11,915 --> 00:44:13,314 Have you got someone there? 718 00:44:13,384 --> 00:44:14,442 Mr. Tushy. 719 00:44:14,518 --> 00:44:15,610 Hello? 720 00:44:15,686 --> 00:44:17,153 I am so sorry, but the apartment 721 00:44:17,221 --> 00:44:20,054 has just been rented by a very nice man. 722 00:44:20,124 --> 00:44:21,455 Well, maybe I could call. 723 00:44:21,525 --> 00:44:22,753 Maybe not. 724 00:44:24,795 --> 00:44:28,128 Zak, are you still there? You'll never guess what's happened. 725 00:44:28,198 --> 00:44:29,790 I have to see you. 726 00:44:29,867 --> 00:44:32,859 (Alexandra) Zakkie, honey, could you zip me up? 727 00:44:32,936 --> 00:44:35,598 Georgie? Georgina? 728 00:44:37,841 --> 00:44:38,808 [groan] 729 00:44:43,714 --> 00:44:46,877 What?! I only asked if you could zip me up? 730 00:44:51,588 --> 00:44:54,921 (Georgina) I don't understand. Why call if he's still with her? 731 00:44:54,992 --> 00:44:58,018 Who knows what's running through his head. 732 00:44:58,095 --> 00:45:03,260 He probably wants his pie and his chips. 733 00:45:03,333 --> 00:45:04,994 He wouldn't do that. 734 00:45:05,069 --> 00:45:09,802 George, he's a man. And he's selfish, and, darling, 735 00:45:09,873 --> 00:45:14,105 he's let you down when you needed him the most. 736 00:45:14,178 --> 00:45:17,477 What do you know about it? You don't know what it's like, do you? 737 00:45:17,548 --> 00:45:20,278 The longest you've been with someone is three weeks. 738 00:45:20,350 --> 00:45:24,252 You don't know what it's like to be with someone for the longterm. 739 00:45:24,321 --> 00:45:28,587 That's not true. I was with with Greg for one year. 740 00:45:28,659 --> 00:45:32,288 Whoop dee doo. You had a teenage crush on some boy 13 years ago. 741 00:45:38,502 --> 00:45:41,699 Did you know that I was pregnant? 742 00:45:45,843 --> 00:45:49,176 You know, 743 00:45:49,246 --> 00:45:51,111 I was so scared. 744 00:45:53,984 --> 00:45:56,043 And I thought 745 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,816 I don't want to get fat. 746 00:45:58,889 --> 00:46:00,151 And I want... 747 00:46:00,224 --> 00:46:03,387 and I still want to go to parties. 748 00:46:05,529 --> 00:46:09,590 And I want to wear short dresses. So we... 749 00:46:09,666 --> 00:46:12,430 I made the decision. 750 00:46:16,406 --> 00:46:18,203 And it was gone. 751 00:46:20,444 --> 00:46:22,344 And I thought, "Right, 752 00:46:22,412 --> 00:46:25,575 now everything's going to just go back to normal" and... 753 00:46:29,753 --> 00:46:30,651 he left. 754 00:46:30,721 --> 00:46:32,848 I'm so sorry. 755 00:46:34,224 --> 00:46:37,785 Do you know that he used to... 756 00:46:37,861 --> 00:46:39,761 kiss me right here... 757 00:46:39,830 --> 00:46:42,890 to wake me up in the morning... 758 00:46:42,966 --> 00:46:47,733 Just move the hair out of my eyes. 759 00:46:50,407 --> 00:46:51,965 Fucking coconuts. 760 00:46:55,012 --> 00:46:57,742 He always smelled of coconut shampoo. 761 00:46:59,550 --> 00:47:01,541 Oh, Clem. 762 00:47:01,618 --> 00:47:05,577 Why didn't you tell me? I would have been there. I would have helped you. 763 00:47:05,656 --> 00:47:07,749 I didn't tell you because I don't want to be 764 00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:12,262 one of those really sad dreary women. 765 00:47:18,135 --> 00:47:21,366 You won't be. I won't let you. 766 00:47:24,341 --> 00:47:26,070 And I won't let you either. 767 00:47:30,814 --> 00:47:31,746 Come here. 768 00:47:44,228 --> 00:47:46,162 (Georgie) My belly is a welcoming womb 769 00:47:46,230 --> 00:47:48,664 of warmth and willingness. 770 00:47:48,732 --> 00:47:50,461 [alarm clock rings] 771 00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:52,263 [gasp] 772 00:48:15,692 --> 00:48:17,751 "I am a fertile female 773 00:48:17,828 --> 00:48:20,797 "full of fecundity and fruitfulness. 774 00:48:20,864 --> 00:48:23,332 "I am a fertile female 775 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:27,097 full of fecundity and fruitfulness." 776 00:48:27,170 --> 00:48:29,866 [thunder and rain] 777 00:48:29,940 --> 00:48:32,135 (Zak) For fuck's sake! It's just a drizzle! 778 00:48:32,209 --> 00:48:33,403 Come on! 779 00:48:33,477 --> 00:48:35,206 Know how frizzy this'll get? 780 00:48:35,279 --> 00:48:40,012 You are about as much use as an ejector seat in a helicopter! 781 00:48:41,485 --> 00:48:42,952 [groan] 782 00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:47,754 Come on, Georgie, pick up. 783 00:48:47,824 --> 00:48:50,725 [beeps] 784 00:48:50,794 --> 00:48:53,194 No signal. Great. 785 00:48:53,263 --> 00:48:57,859 [bell tolling] 786 00:49:01,538 --> 00:49:03,529 (Clem So many men, so little time. 787 00:49:03,607 --> 00:49:05,632 How did this guy Benny die? 788 00:49:05,709 --> 00:49:07,506 Parachute jump. 789 00:49:07,577 --> 00:49:08,669 Ouch. 790 00:49:08,745 --> 00:49:10,042 Come on. 791 00:49:11,281 --> 00:49:12,646 Hello! 792 00:49:12,716 --> 00:49:14,115 Hello. 793 00:49:14,184 --> 00:49:16,345 Hi. Our friend seems to have disappeared. 794 00:49:16,420 --> 00:49:18,786 Can we get a lift to the party? I mean, the wake? 795 00:49:18,855 --> 00:49:20,379 Sure. Hop in. I'm Malcolm. 796 00:49:20,457 --> 00:49:21,321 Georgina. 797 00:49:21,391 --> 00:49:22,517 Clem. 798 00:49:22,592 --> 00:49:24,150 There you go. 799 00:49:24,227 --> 00:49:25,319 Thank you. 800 00:49:33,637 --> 00:49:35,628 [chatter and music] 801 00:49:38,241 --> 00:49:40,334 (DJ, over PTA) This one is for Benny boy. 802 00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:44,170 This looks promising. 803 00:49:47,784 --> 00:49:49,445 Bubbly. 804 00:49:51,755 --> 00:49:54,315 Excuse me, darling, how did you know Benny? 805 00:49:54,391 --> 00:49:55,790 Everyone knew Benny. 806 00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:57,954 Hello. Thank you. 807 00:49:58,028 --> 00:50:00,553 He owned the club. Boy's Night. 808 00:50:05,168 --> 00:50:07,762 (DJ) Yeah, you're with me, love. 809 00:50:14,611 --> 00:50:16,977 Isn't this great? They are well up for it. 810 00:50:17,047 --> 00:50:18,605 If I can't pull one of this lot, 811 00:50:18,682 --> 00:50:20,206 you might as well shoot me now. 812 00:50:25,555 --> 00:50:27,785 I better load both barrels. 813 00:51:10,700 --> 00:51:12,133 [sigh] They're... 814 00:51:12,202 --> 00:51:13,328 Yes. 815 00:51:13,403 --> 00:51:15,530 All of them? 816 00:51:15,605 --> 00:51:17,038 Well, maybe not them. 817 00:51:19,676 --> 00:51:21,667 But the rest? 818 00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:24,908 At a guess, yes. 819 00:51:24,981 --> 00:51:27,711 (man in drag) Hello. Dressing down for this one. 820 00:51:42,265 --> 00:51:43,630 Do you mind? 821 00:51:43,700 --> 00:51:44,724 Carry on. 822 00:51:50,907 --> 00:51:52,340 He would have loved this. 823 00:51:52,409 --> 00:51:53,398 Who? 824 00:51:53,477 --> 00:51:56,173 Well, Benny. 825 00:51:56,246 --> 00:52:00,376 Oh, yes. He would, wouldn't he? 826 00:52:00,450 --> 00:52:02,645 I'm James, by the way. Benny's accountant. 827 00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:04,050 Oh, his ex-accountant. 828 00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:05,611 You're his ex-accountant? 829 00:52:05,689 --> 00:52:09,386 No, I mean you are with him being dead and everything. 830 00:52:09,459 --> 00:52:10,721 Oh, right. 831 00:52:15,232 --> 00:52:18,724 It's a nice disco, isn't it? Do you like disco dancing? 832 00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:21,930 Mm. My girlfriend, well, my ex-girlfriend 833 00:52:22,005 --> 00:52:25,168 I danced like I had a poker up my arse, which put me off. 834 00:52:25,242 --> 00:52:26,834 No shit?! 835 00:52:26,910 --> 00:52:28,275 Yeah. 836 00:52:32,382 --> 00:52:35,146 Right. Well, it was nice to meet you, um...? 837 00:52:35,218 --> 00:52:37,584 Georgina. I'll look out for the poker dancing. 838 00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:39,713 I'm afraid you'll be looking for a while. 839 00:52:39,789 --> 00:52:42,417 I'm off home. It's been a long day. 840 00:52:42,492 --> 00:52:45,757 Oh, er, wait... could I, um, 841 00:52:45,829 --> 00:52:50,232 could I go home with you? I mean, wait, sorry, 842 00:52:50,300 --> 00:52:55,135 could I get a lift home to my home? Um... 843 00:52:55,205 --> 00:52:57,332 Would I have to dance? 844 00:52:57,407 --> 00:53:00,865 Um, dancing is not obligatory. 845 00:53:03,313 --> 00:53:04,803 I'd love to. 846 00:53:21,464 --> 00:53:23,329 [Clem shouts] 847 00:53:27,437 --> 00:53:30,497 I'm sorry about the mess. I've been so busy with work lately. 848 00:53:30,574 --> 00:53:31,836 Busy, busy, busy. 849 00:53:31,908 --> 00:53:33,500 Yes... Busy. 850 00:53:38,682 --> 00:53:40,980 Oh, it's... homely. 851 00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:43,019 [both chuckle] 852 00:53:48,992 --> 00:53:52,723 Would you like some wine before...? 853 00:53:52,796 --> 00:53:55,264 Wine would be lovely before... 854 00:53:56,833 --> 00:53:59,631 Um, take a seat, make yourself comfortable. 855 00:54:12,716 --> 00:54:16,846 It was so sad when I heard about... Benny. 856 00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,548 It was such a shock. 857 00:54:19,623 --> 00:54:22,183 Well, he liked to take risks, didn't he? 858 00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:26,821 I suppose knowing he lived his life to the full is some comfort. 859 00:54:26,896 --> 00:54:29,763 We had some crazy times together. 860 00:54:33,003 --> 00:54:34,027 Did you now? 861 00:54:36,172 --> 00:54:37,366 Like what, exactly? 862 00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,603 The usual crazy stuff. It's madness. 863 00:54:40,677 --> 00:54:42,668 Anyway, let's not talk about Benny. 864 00:54:42,746 --> 00:54:45,044 It's so sad. Let's just talk about us. 865 00:54:45,115 --> 00:54:48,084 Yes. Let's. 866 00:54:48,151 --> 00:54:50,676 Oh, shit. 867 00:54:50,754 --> 00:54:53,086 Hm. Shit just about covers it. 868 00:54:53,156 --> 00:54:58,423 Oh. Er, no, er, look, it's very complicated. 869 00:54:58,495 --> 00:55:00,554 No, it's very simple. "Day one" 870 00:55:00,630 --> 00:55:02,894 No, you don't understand. Some more wine? 871 00:55:02,966 --> 00:55:04,661 What kind of sick person are you? 872 00:55:10,540 --> 00:55:12,007 And for the record, 873 00:55:12,075 --> 00:55:14,407 your flat has gone way past homely. 874 00:55:14,477 --> 00:55:16,240 [clack] 875 00:55:28,792 --> 00:55:31,556 (Georgina) I need more than one egg. 876 00:55:31,628 --> 00:55:34,096 I don't want sperm, I want a baby. 877 00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:38,362 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th. Zak, where are you? 878 00:55:38,435 --> 00:55:39,868 [alarm clock rings] 879 00:55:39,936 --> 00:55:42,404 [sigh] 880 00:55:47,410 --> 00:55:49,742 Oh, Zak, where are you? 881 00:55:49,813 --> 00:55:54,182 (Mum) Let's get you something nice for your birthday. 882 00:55:54,250 --> 00:55:56,218 What do you need, dear? 883 00:55:56,286 --> 00:55:58,345 They don't sell what I need here. 884 00:55:58,421 --> 00:56:00,548 I don't feel like partying this year. 885 00:56:00,623 --> 00:56:02,318 All right, love. 886 00:56:02,392 --> 00:56:05,418 But at least let me make you a birthday cake. 887 00:56:22,612 --> 00:56:25,342 Why don't we split up and we'll have it done in no time? 888 00:56:25,415 --> 00:56:26,973 All right, love. 889 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:32,955 [whimsical music] 890 00:57:02,685 --> 00:57:04,277 (Mum) Someone likes his nuts! 891 00:57:04,354 --> 00:57:05,343 Mom! 892 00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:09,222 [whimsical music] 893 00:57:09,292 --> 00:57:12,352 Nice young man. 894 00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:15,159 Now, dear, have we got everything? 895 00:57:17,567 --> 00:57:21,697 [bell tolling] 896 00:57:26,109 --> 00:57:28,839 What may be boring for you may not be for other people. 897 00:57:28,912 --> 00:57:30,641 Christ, if it's... 898 00:57:30,713 --> 00:57:32,977 You can't say that, okay? Not here. 899 00:57:33,049 --> 00:57:34,539 Jesus. 900 00:57:34,617 --> 00:57:38,212 Or that! They'd prefer if you swore. 901 00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:39,983 You'd be better off with a "shit." 902 00:57:40,056 --> 00:57:42,354 Or, just a good loud "fuck." 903 00:57:42,425 --> 00:57:44,222 Hi. 904 00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:48,424 Welcome. Please, follow me. 905 00:57:58,508 --> 00:58:02,706 Upstairs are the dormitories and the prayer rooms. 906 00:58:02,779 --> 00:58:05,441 Not you, sir. Only the young lady can come. 907 00:58:08,651 --> 00:58:11,381 Um, uh... 908 00:58:14,958 --> 00:58:16,858 Look... if you want decent funding 909 00:58:16,926 --> 00:58:18,791 for this precious series of yours, 910 00:58:18,862 --> 00:58:21,387 it's gonna have to be great, not good. 911 00:58:21,464 --> 00:58:24,399 So just relax, and let me do what I do best. 912 00:58:24,467 --> 00:58:26,230 And what is that, exactly? 913 00:58:26,302 --> 00:58:28,236 Girl talk. 914 00:58:28,304 --> 00:58:31,705 [giggles] Hey! Wait up! 915 00:58:55,231 --> 00:58:56,721 Beautiful, isn't it? 916 00:58:59,869 --> 00:59:01,097 Yeah. 917 00:59:01,170 --> 00:59:04,799 A mother and her newborn child. 918 00:59:04,874 --> 00:59:08,401 Creation. Nothing is more divine. 919 00:59:08,478 --> 00:59:10,105 I suppose not. 920 00:59:11,981 --> 00:59:17,009 I wouldn't have thought that you think about that stuff. 921 00:59:17,086 --> 00:59:19,714 You know, you being a nun. 922 00:59:25,261 --> 00:59:27,456 Must be hard for you. 923 00:59:27,530 --> 00:59:30,590 For a woman to... give that up. 924 00:59:30,667 --> 00:59:35,434 I think for me, as a woman... it's the hardest sacrifice. 925 00:59:45,048 --> 00:59:46,481 I think you're right. 926 01:00:09,739 --> 01:00:12,708 Oh, Zak. I miss you. 927 01:00:19,349 --> 01:00:21,715 [soft footsteps] 928 01:00:21,784 --> 01:00:23,217 Brian. 929 01:00:25,521 --> 01:00:26,749 You all right, boss? 930 01:00:26,823 --> 01:00:29,690 Sorry, I didn't get much sleep. 931 01:00:29,759 --> 01:00:31,590 I hope he was worth it. 932 01:00:31,661 --> 01:00:35,893 There's nothing like that going on at all. Zak and I broke up. 933 01:00:35,965 --> 01:00:37,728 Oh great. 934 01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:42,237 It's not, because I just told you my six-year relationship has ended. 935 01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:43,932 So, it's not great. 936 01:00:44,007 --> 01:00:47,170 No, it's not great for you, and it's not great for him, but... 937 01:00:47,243 --> 01:00:51,202 but for other available men 938 01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,248 it's great. 939 01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:59,179 Well, uh, 940 01:01:01,290 --> 01:01:04,623 it's really hot in here. 941 01:01:04,694 --> 01:01:05,456 Uh, 942 01:01:05,528 --> 01:01:09,055 um, what, um... 943 01:01:10,433 --> 01:01:15,063 [moans and groans] 944 01:01:15,138 --> 01:01:15,934 Georgina? 945 01:01:16,806 --> 01:01:17,795 Georgina? 946 01:01:17,874 --> 01:01:20,399 Um, 947 01:01:20,476 --> 01:01:22,842 Women have needs, Brian, 948 01:01:22,912 --> 01:01:26,473 and I need these needs to be 949 01:01:26,549 --> 01:01:29,074 tended to. 950 01:01:30,420 --> 01:01:33,981 Bloody hell, that's fantastic. 951 01:01:34,057 --> 01:01:36,252 I'll knead your needs any time, love. 952 01:01:36,325 --> 01:01:37,349 Oh yeah. 953 01:01:37,427 --> 01:01:38,917 Great. 954 01:01:38,995 --> 01:01:41,759 What about the weekend of the 25th, 955 01:01:41,831 --> 01:01:43,890 which happens to be tomorrow? 956 01:01:43,966 --> 01:01:45,558 Eh? 957 01:01:45,635 --> 01:01:48,604 We could do the morning, or I could slip you in after lunch. 958 01:01:48,671 --> 01:01:50,138 Oh, slip me in... 959 01:01:50,206 --> 01:01:51,673 No pressure. 960 01:01:51,741 --> 01:01:53,800 It's a bit formal. Want me to sign a contract? 961 01:01:53,876 --> 01:01:56,276 Actually, do you want to do that? No? 962 01:02:00,883 --> 01:02:03,181 I'll get back to you. 963 01:02:03,252 --> 01:02:04,879 Great. 964 01:02:06,155 --> 01:02:07,144 Alright. 965 01:02:13,930 --> 01:02:16,330 Okay, so the nuns are a little pissy. So what? 966 01:02:16,399 --> 01:02:18,959 Pissy? Just don't get it, do you? 967 01:02:19,035 --> 01:02:24,496 You've ruined everything. Without the nuns, we have nothing. Okay? 968 01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:27,668 Without me, you have nothing, Zak Solomon. So I suggest 969 01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:30,440 if you want my daddy funding this silly documentary 970 01:02:30,513 --> 01:02:33,346 you start being nicer to me. A lot nicer. 971 01:02:33,416 --> 01:02:37,477 Well, frankly, my dear, I don't give a fuck anymore, okay?! 972 01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:40,848 Sorry. 973 01:02:43,559 --> 01:02:45,356 I'd like a ticket to London, please. 974 01:02:48,364 --> 01:02:52,232 Hi, I need to be on the next flight to London, please. 975 01:02:54,470 --> 01:02:55,459 Thank you. 976 01:02:57,540 --> 01:02:59,337 The last ticket has just gone. 977 01:02:59,408 --> 01:03:00,807 What? 978 01:03:04,714 --> 01:03:06,682 Please, I need to be on that flight. 979 01:03:06,749 --> 01:03:08,649 Well, maybe you could ask the lady. 980 01:03:10,553 --> 01:03:12,248 I'd rather cover my balls in honey 981 01:03:12,321 --> 01:03:14,186 and stick them in an ants' nest. 982 01:03:14,257 --> 01:03:17,852 I'm very sorry, sir, there's nothing more I can do for you. 983 01:03:19,328 --> 01:03:21,319 Okay, where's the next flight from? 984 01:03:21,397 --> 01:03:22,659 Anywhere? 985 01:03:22,732 --> 01:03:25,758 Okay. The Dublin flight is full. 986 01:03:25,835 --> 01:03:26,961 Right. 987 01:03:27,036 --> 01:03:29,027 I'm just checking Belfast for you. 988 01:03:29,105 --> 01:03:30,094 Good. 989 01:03:30,173 --> 01:03:33,506 Yes. No. That's full, too. 990 01:03:33,576 --> 01:03:35,874 There must be something you can do. 991 01:03:35,945 --> 01:03:37,503 You thought about the ferry? 992 01:03:47,089 --> 01:03:49,785 Hi. I need to get to Cork for the ferry. 993 01:03:49,859 --> 01:03:52,123 Can you get me there in three hours? 994 01:03:52,195 --> 01:03:53,958 You must be joking. 995 01:03:54,030 --> 01:03:55,622 No? ...Okay. 996 01:03:55,698 --> 01:03:57,529 How about now? 997 01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:58,567 [mumbles] 998 01:03:58,634 --> 01:03:59,794 Brilliant. 999 01:03:59,869 --> 01:04:01,359 I did it in four hours once. 1000 01:04:08,010 --> 01:04:12,572 (male announcer) Boarding for the Pembroke ferry is now closing. 1001 01:04:12,648 --> 01:04:14,411 Excuse me. 1002 01:04:14,483 --> 01:04:15,347 Oi! 1003 01:04:19,689 --> 01:04:21,281 Alright, look, 1004 01:04:21,357 --> 01:04:26,761 "After insemination, keep legs raised for 15 minutes. " Oh. 1005 01:04:26,829 --> 01:04:29,662 "Sperm must be used before it separates and gets cold." 1006 01:04:29,732 --> 01:04:31,597 Yuk. That's disgusting. 1007 01:04:31,667 --> 01:04:34,135 All right, moving on. Look, look. 1008 01:04:34,203 --> 01:04:37,900 Here's a list of loads and loads of potential daddies. 1009 01:04:37,974 --> 01:04:41,637 4-50 looks good. He's German, Scottish and Italian. That's nice. 1010 01:04:41,711 --> 01:04:44,942 No, no. Your baby will then work 1011 01:04:45,014 --> 01:04:49,849 really hard at making loads of teeny-weeny little pizzas. 1012 01:04:49,919 --> 01:04:53,719 Look, what about there, number four. That one. 1013 01:04:53,789 --> 01:04:57,555 Look at him. English and Hungarian. There we go. 1014 01:04:57,627 --> 01:05:01,996 You could pretend it's Zak's, and then I can sue him for maintenance. 1015 01:05:02,064 --> 01:05:05,465 Shouldn't have to pretend, he should be here. 1016 01:05:09,505 --> 01:05:11,370 Just call me 'one egg'. 1017 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:12,372 No. 1018 01:05:12,441 --> 01:05:14,306 No boyfriend, one egg. 1019 01:05:14,377 --> 01:05:15,537 No, but, darling, 1020 01:05:15,611 --> 01:05:19,604 Happy. We're going to be happy now. 1021 01:05:19,682 --> 01:05:20,706 Happy one egg. 1022 01:05:20,783 --> 01:05:22,307 Look, was that a smile? 1023 01:05:22,385 --> 01:05:25,445 There we go, there's a smile. I like that. 1024 01:05:25,521 --> 01:05:26,749 Come here. 1025 01:05:28,357 --> 01:05:29,984 I wish I could see their faces. 1026 01:05:34,430 --> 01:05:36,830 (doorman) Evening, ladies. Having fun? 1027 01:05:36,899 --> 01:05:40,357 [fake accent] Mm, Ignita sad. 1028 01:05:40,436 --> 01:05:44,202 She not want to go back to Stockholm. 1029 01:05:44,273 --> 01:05:46,138 Away you go. Enjoy yourselves. 1030 01:05:47,410 --> 01:05:48,570 [dance music] 1031 01:06:06,862 --> 01:06:08,989 (Georgina) I can see that girl's arse. 1032 01:06:09,065 --> 01:06:10,589 I can actually see her arse. 1033 01:06:10,666 --> 01:06:12,327 She'll catch pneumonia. 1034 01:06:14,904 --> 01:06:18,396 Look, darling, do you see what I see? 1035 01:06:18,474 --> 01:06:20,999 (girl) Yeah, and the rest! 1036 01:06:31,454 --> 01:06:33,422 Think there's room for a brain? 1037 01:06:33,489 --> 01:06:35,354 Perfect. 1038 01:06:35,424 --> 01:06:39,520 But the thing about slappers is that they consider sex their job 1039 01:06:39,595 --> 01:06:43,190 and condoms are like their uniform, so they just buckle up. 1040 01:06:45,334 --> 01:06:47,063 That sort of defeats the purpose. 1041 01:06:47,136 --> 01:06:49,900 Well, tell him that you're a virgin. 1042 01:06:49,972 --> 01:06:51,803 I'm 30 bloody 4 tomorrow. 1043 01:06:51,874 --> 01:06:53,136 Yes, but you're Irish. 1044 01:06:53,209 --> 01:06:55,541 I'm half Irish. And tonight I'm Swedish. 1045 01:06:55,611 --> 01:06:58,341 Well, new plan. You're Irish again. 1046 01:06:58,414 --> 01:07:01,247 I don't really think they have virgins in Sweden. 1047 01:07:01,317 --> 01:07:03,808 Now go. Go get him, darling. 1048 01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:39,419 [thud] 1049 01:07:39,488 --> 01:07:42,946 [ripping and groans] 1050 01:07:59,408 --> 01:08:03,174 Ciao, bella. Where hid you all my lives? 1051 01:08:18,527 --> 01:08:19,789 (receptionist Hello. 1052 01:08:19,862 --> 01:08:22,524 Room 8-42, please. 1053 01:08:25,301 --> 01:08:27,667 You come party with us? 1054 01:08:27,736 --> 01:08:29,328 No, thank you, sir. 1055 01:08:29,405 --> 01:08:32,169 I'm sure madam will see to all your needs. 1056 01:08:32,241 --> 01:08:34,539 [giggles] 1057 01:08:34,610 --> 01:08:36,578 Hope they're not next to us. 1058 01:08:36,645 --> 01:08:38,237 [groan] 1059 01:08:38,314 --> 01:08:41,147 [squeals and giggles] 1060 01:08:41,217 --> 01:08:42,809 Mamma mia. 1061 01:08:42,885 --> 01:08:47,288 [groan] Ha! Bellisima! 1062 01:08:54,130 --> 01:08:55,825 Zak, I'll never forgive you. 1063 01:09:06,909 --> 01:09:10,504 So, princess, you miss Ireland? 1064 01:09:10,579 --> 01:09:13,104 No, but I was the runner-up for Miss Jamaica. 1065 01:09:14,450 --> 01:09:15,417 Up your bottom. 1066 01:09:15,484 --> 01:09:17,452 Not on a first date. 1067 01:09:24,593 --> 01:09:27,790 Luca, you're a very handsome man. 1068 01:09:27,863 --> 01:09:30,423 Yeah... me, too. 1069 01:09:30,499 --> 01:09:33,093 Um, I want you to be my first. 1070 01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:34,830 Yeah. Madonna! 1071 01:09:34,904 --> 01:09:38,396 Madonna, but not the singer. Like... 1072 01:09:41,110 --> 01:09:43,374 Oh my God! 1073 01:09:43,445 --> 01:09:45,413 Oh shit! 1074 01:09:45,481 --> 01:09:49,042 I have to go to the bathroom. Be back in a minute. 1075 01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:52,046 Don't move a muscle. 1076 01:10:15,544 --> 01:10:19,571 Yeah, Colin? I'll be outside in two minutes, mate. 1077 01:10:19,648 --> 01:10:24,551 No, nothing much. Just a card, and some cash. 1078 01:10:31,093 --> 01:10:33,118 No, I don't think I'll bother... 1079 01:10:33,195 --> 01:10:35,060 She's a bit soft in the head. 1080 01:10:42,204 --> 01:10:45,765 Luca, please be gentle with me. 1081 01:10:47,109 --> 01:10:48,371 Luca? 1082 01:10:56,051 --> 01:10:57,382 [sigh] 1083 01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:03,422 Fuck! 1084 01:11:03,492 --> 01:11:05,187 [groan] 1085 01:11:05,261 --> 01:11:06,785 Fuck! 1086 01:11:13,736 --> 01:11:15,067 (Clem, sleepy) Hello? 1087 01:11:15,137 --> 01:11:17,537 Clem, it's me. Let's do it. 1088 01:11:17,606 --> 01:11:21,235 Right. Is it the pizza man or Mr Goulash? 1089 01:11:28,183 --> 01:11:30,515 (Georgina) I don't want sperm, I want a baby. 1090 01:11:30,586 --> 01:11:33,282 (Clem) And Justin on hand for the task. 1091 01:11:33,355 --> 01:11:35,152 I need more than one egg. 1092 01:11:35,224 --> 01:11:37,055 If we even get to Day Four, 1093 01:11:37,126 --> 01:11:40,391 you need to seriously consider replacing your entire wardrobe. 1094 01:11:40,462 --> 01:11:41,690 [groaning] 1095 01:11:47,703 --> 01:11:49,762 [groans] 1096 01:12:09,358 --> 01:12:12,054 Excuse me, I'm looking for a turkey baster. 1097 01:12:12,127 --> 01:12:17,190 You're well-organized, girls. Come in handy for Christmas there. 1098 01:12:17,266 --> 01:12:19,928 (Clem) Coming in handy will be no use to us, 1099 01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:24,905 you see, my friend, she went on the Internet and she ordered... 1100 01:12:24,973 --> 01:12:26,406 No, no. 1101 01:12:26,475 --> 01:12:28,909 You don't want to waste your money on one of those. 1102 01:12:31,747 --> 01:12:36,548 Have one of these. I know. She's a beauty. 1103 01:12:36,618 --> 01:12:39,314 And she'll always double up as a spoon. 1104 01:12:39,388 --> 01:12:42,789 That's lovely. It's a top of the range spoon. 1105 01:12:42,858 --> 01:12:45,656 Bit of a squeeze. What I need is a turkey baster. 1106 01:12:45,728 --> 01:12:48,060 Yeah, the one with the huge squishy balls 1107 01:12:48,130 --> 01:12:50,189 and the long plastic thingy. 1108 01:12:50,265 --> 01:12:54,668 Something really... big and, like, hard. 1109 01:12:57,339 --> 01:13:01,070 Do you think one day I'm gonna meet a turkey baster of my own? 1110 01:13:01,143 --> 01:13:05,273 I think it's talking to me. Hello. And what do you do? 1111 01:13:05,347 --> 01:13:09,283 He bastes turkeys. That's really fascinating. 1112 01:13:09,351 --> 01:13:12,081 Darling, I'm being an insensitive cow, I'm sorry. 1113 01:13:12,154 --> 01:13:14,452 I want Zak. I only want Zak. 1114 01:13:14,523 --> 01:13:18,755 You can't speak about other men in front of Mr Turkey Baster. 1115 01:13:18,827 --> 01:13:21,261 I just never thought it would come to this. 1116 01:13:21,330 --> 01:13:24,595 The potential father of my child is a sodding kitchen utensil. 1117 01:13:26,034 --> 01:13:29,162 Stop it. Stop it. Come on. 1118 01:13:29,238 --> 01:13:31,570 [ferry horn] 1119 01:13:37,012 --> 01:13:38,502 Excuse me, I'm sorry! 1120 01:13:43,318 --> 01:13:46,879 Hi. How you doing? I need to to get to London. 1121 01:13:46,955 --> 01:13:48,183 London, is it? 1122 01:13:48,257 --> 01:13:49,349 Yeah. 1123 01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:51,120 That's an hundred pound each way. 1124 01:13:51,193 --> 01:13:54,959 Do you take credit cards? No? Visa, Mastercard, American Express? 1125 01:13:55,030 --> 01:13:57,726 There's an 'hole in the wall' up the road. 1126 01:13:57,800 --> 01:13:59,392 Right. Don't go anywhere. 1127 01:14:16,819 --> 01:14:18,548 Fuck!! 1128 01:14:27,196 --> 01:14:28,254 Morning, boss. 1129 01:14:28,330 --> 01:14:29,456 Good morning, Brian. 1130 01:14:29,531 --> 01:14:32,125 It's a bit of a mess. 1131 01:14:32,201 --> 01:14:33,793 Which bathroom? 1132 01:14:33,869 --> 01:14:36,360 Up the stairs. It's only because people were using the lav 1133 01:14:36,438 --> 01:14:38,303 that we found out there was a problem. 1134 01:14:39,908 --> 01:14:43,241 Yuk. Can't believe people use the toilet in a show home. 1135 01:14:43,312 --> 01:14:46,941 Yep as funny as folk. Let's check upstairs. 1136 01:14:47,015 --> 01:14:50,951 Anyway, it just means that this unit 1137 01:14:51,019 --> 01:14:52,486 will be out of order for a bit. 1138 01:14:52,554 --> 01:14:53,885 That can't be helped. 1139 01:14:53,956 --> 01:14:55,617 Hm. 1140 01:15:01,029 --> 01:15:03,862 I wonder if it's only the toilets that they use. 1141 01:15:03,932 --> 01:15:05,559 Well, you never know. 1142 01:15:08,370 --> 01:15:12,033 I, um... I phoned you. 1143 01:15:13,709 --> 01:15:17,475 Last night. I left a message about our date today. 1144 01:15:17,546 --> 01:15:19,309 Right. 1145 01:15:20,916 --> 01:15:23,043 We hadn't confirmed times or what, but... 1146 01:15:24,686 --> 01:15:27,746 So, boss, here we are... How about it? 1147 01:15:27,823 --> 01:15:31,122 Oh... we couldn't. I mean, what if someone came in? 1148 01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:33,491 There's only two sets of keys 1149 01:15:33,562 --> 01:15:36,258 and I've got one and you've got the other. 1150 01:15:37,966 --> 01:15:40,935 So why don't you... 1151 01:15:41,003 --> 01:15:44,166 get yourself comfy... and I'll go and lock up. 1152 01:15:52,481 --> 01:15:55,450 Here we go, here we go, here we go 1153 01:16:03,225 --> 01:16:05,352 Come on! Come on! 1154 01:16:07,162 --> 01:16:08,424 Brian, I just wanna say... 1155 01:16:08,497 --> 01:16:09,486 Come here. 1156 01:16:13,468 --> 01:16:15,402 Right, you ready for this? 1157 01:16:15,470 --> 01:16:16,596 Yeah... I just wanna 1158 01:16:16,672 --> 01:16:18,572 Yeah, go, go. I'll be in here. 1159 01:16:23,078 --> 01:16:25,046 (Brian) I'll tell you what, love, 1160 01:16:25,113 --> 01:16:27,775 I've been thinking about this for absolutely ages. 1161 01:16:27,849 --> 01:16:29,214 Really? 1162 01:16:29,284 --> 01:16:31,047 Wait and see what I've got for you. 1163 01:16:31,119 --> 01:16:32,848 It's an absolute belter. 1164 01:16:34,957 --> 01:16:38,950 Hey, I've not had any complaints... I'm not gonna start now. 1165 01:16:39,027 --> 01:16:42,019 Hey, don't worry about precautions. 1166 01:16:42,097 --> 01:16:46,932 I had a bad case of mumps last year, so I'm infertile. 1167 01:16:49,104 --> 01:16:50,503 What? 1168 01:16:50,572 --> 01:16:52,665 It's fine. I had kids early. 1169 01:16:52,741 --> 01:16:55,801 I've got a ten year old and an eight year old with my first wife. 1170 01:16:55,877 --> 01:16:58,675 It comes in handy, now I'm back on the market. 1171 01:16:58,747 --> 01:17:01,580 Mind you, it was a nasty business. 1172 01:17:01,650 --> 01:17:04,585 My bollocks swelled to the size of a watermelon. 1173 01:17:04,653 --> 01:17:07,554 They took on a life of their own. 1174 01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:10,592 I had to sit on a special cushion. 1175 01:17:10,659 --> 01:17:14,095 Anyway... you nearly ready? 1176 01:17:19,434 --> 01:17:21,299 I've just got to go to the bathroom. 1177 01:17:21,370 --> 01:17:24,100 That one is broken, so I'm going to run downstairs. 1178 01:17:24,172 --> 01:17:26,970 Hey, no problemo. Whatever. 1179 01:17:27,042 --> 01:17:28,270 Come on, lad! 1180 01:17:47,362 --> 01:17:50,297 [workmen whistle and shout] 1181 01:18:10,752 --> 01:18:15,121 "After insemination, keep legs raised for 20 minutes." 1182 01:18:29,771 --> 01:18:31,466 [doorbell] 1183 01:18:33,575 --> 01:18:34,735 Miss Salt? 1184 01:18:34,810 --> 01:18:35,834 Yes. 1185 01:18:35,911 --> 01:18:38,311 Your, um... Sign here, please. 1186 01:18:40,082 --> 01:18:43,574 Don't forget, keep it warm, and use it before it separates. 1187 01:19:14,649 --> 01:19:16,708 Oh. 1188 01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:24,119 Oh, shit, it's too big. [groan] 1189 01:19:40,308 --> 01:19:42,833 Right, little ones, I want you to swim, swim, swim. 1190 01:19:42,911 --> 01:19:43,878 (Mum) Georgina? 1191 01:19:43,945 --> 01:19:46,379 [shout] Mum! 1192 01:19:46,448 --> 01:19:50,248 Happy birthday, dear. I wanted to surprise you. 1193 01:19:50,318 --> 01:19:54,516 Oh dear, the icing is not dry. 1194 01:19:54,589 --> 01:19:57,057 I'll just pop it in the fridge. 1195 01:19:57,125 --> 01:20:00,185 Or should we have a piece now? 1196 01:20:00,262 --> 01:20:02,492 Oh, no, no. 1197 01:20:02,564 --> 01:20:05,055 It's so lovely, I just want to save it 1198 01:20:05,133 --> 01:20:06,998 to show it to Justin and Clem. 1199 01:20:07,068 --> 01:20:10,936 Oh, Justin. He's a nice boy, isn't he? 1200 01:20:11,006 --> 01:20:13,304 Yes, he's nice. 1201 01:20:29,024 --> 01:20:31,891 God... no-one said it would be easy 1202 01:20:31,960 --> 01:20:34,793 but I for one never thought that it would come to this. 1203 01:20:34,863 --> 01:20:40,028 Hm. Nor me, l... [sigh] 1204 01:20:40,101 --> 01:20:42,069 Oh, darling. 1205 01:20:42,137 --> 01:20:46,938 If I had the necessary machinery, I'd step in and I'd do it. 1206 01:20:47,008 --> 01:20:50,876 No, I haven't got it. So I can't do it. 1207 01:20:50,946 --> 01:20:53,073 Right, no, of course. 1208 01:20:53,148 --> 01:20:54,877 And I want you to remember that... 1209 01:20:54,950 --> 01:20:59,683 "It is a far greater thing that..." 1210 01:20:59,754 --> 01:21:02,882 you do today... than... 1211 01:21:02,958 --> 01:21:04,482 Done, are you? 1212 01:21:04,559 --> 01:21:06,390 I don't know what it is but... 1213 01:21:06,461 --> 01:21:08,929 Anyway, listen. The thing is, 1214 01:21:08,997 --> 01:21:11,397 you're standing in 'the last chance saloon. ' 1215 01:21:13,935 --> 01:21:16,563 You fuck this up... 1216 01:21:16,638 --> 01:21:19,004 and you fuck up her life. 1217 01:21:22,277 --> 01:21:23,403 Okay. 1218 01:21:23,478 --> 01:21:26,606 Anyway, darling... have fun. 1219 01:21:26,681 --> 01:21:27,670 Right. 1220 01:21:27,749 --> 01:21:30,115 Bye. Alright. 1221 01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:35,220 Hello. 1222 01:21:38,994 --> 01:21:41,258 [both chuckle nervously] 1223 01:21:41,329 --> 01:21:43,422 Thank you so much for doing this. 1224 01:21:50,005 --> 01:21:52,098 Hello. We've booked a room for Jones. 1225 01:21:52,173 --> 01:21:53,640 Mr. and Mrs. A suite, please. 1226 01:22:05,854 --> 01:22:07,253 (Zak Taxi! Taxi! 1227 01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:09,883 Taxi! 1228 01:22:09,958 --> 01:22:10,982 Homeless git! 1229 01:22:11,059 --> 01:22:12,788 Yeah, you too, mate. 1230 01:22:12,861 --> 01:22:14,624 Taxi! 1231 01:22:26,041 --> 01:22:27,668 [chuckles nervously] 1232 01:22:27,742 --> 01:22:30,643 Look, I know it's awkward, but I want you to know, 1233 01:22:30,712 --> 01:22:32,407 I'm really grateful. 1234 01:22:32,480 --> 01:22:33,504 Ah! 1235 01:22:44,526 --> 01:22:45,686 Fuck. 1236 01:22:45,760 --> 01:22:47,387 Just breathing. Feeling good. 1237 01:22:47,462 --> 01:22:49,521 Just a child, just the rest of your life. 1238 01:22:49,597 --> 01:22:51,690 It's nothing, it's fine. Breathe in. 1239 01:22:51,766 --> 01:22:54,530 [mumbles] 1240 01:22:54,602 --> 01:22:57,127 Breathe. Just feeling good. 1241 01:22:57,205 --> 01:23:02,074 [breathes, chuckles nervously] Fuck. 1242 01:23:02,143 --> 01:23:07,843 Come on. Come on! God. 1243 01:23:07,916 --> 01:23:11,374 Come on. Up you get. [groan] 1244 01:23:11,453 --> 01:23:14,354 How's it going? 1245 01:23:14,422 --> 01:23:17,016 Not very well. Uh... 1246 01:23:17,092 --> 01:23:19,117 Anything I can do? 1247 01:23:23,698 --> 01:23:24,960 I don't know, uh, 1248 01:23:25,033 --> 01:23:27,092 Well, you could... 1249 01:23:28,670 --> 01:23:30,900 I don't know, you could... 1250 01:23:30,972 --> 01:23:32,803 you could pretend to be Brian. 1251 01:23:41,082 --> 01:23:44,142 (deep voice I'm Brian. Sex god of Salt Construction. 1252 01:23:44,219 --> 01:23:48,349 I'm wearing tight jeans, and sweat is dripping off my big bulging muscles. 1253 01:23:48,423 --> 01:23:53,861 I've got a huge belter waiting for you, and I want to grab your arse. 1254 01:23:56,331 --> 01:23:58,265 [cell phone rings] 1255 01:23:58,333 --> 01:23:59,994 That was great. 1256 01:24:05,173 --> 01:24:07,698 Yes! Yes! 1257 01:24:07,776 --> 01:24:12,076 Oh my God! Oh yes! Yes! Oh my God! 1258 01:24:12,147 --> 01:24:15,014 Georgie, you're not gonna believe it. It's amazing! 1259 01:24:15,083 --> 01:24:18,678 George Michael has just called me, and he said that 1260 01:24:18,753 --> 01:24:21,813 he wants me to do his costumes for his next tour. 1261 01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:23,517 What?! 1262 01:24:23,591 --> 01:24:27,118 Yes! And I have to go now. He wants me to go to a fitting now. 1263 01:24:27,195 --> 01:24:30,358 I want it. I want that spunk. So you get back in there. 1264 01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:32,789 George. 1265 01:24:36,805 --> 01:24:37,703 I can't do it. 1266 01:24:39,741 --> 01:24:41,800 It's a huge responsibility. 1267 01:24:41,876 --> 01:24:47,075 I can't have a baby with you because Clem ordered me to. 1268 01:24:47,148 --> 01:24:48,911 I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 1269 01:24:48,983 --> 01:24:50,780 You can't pull out now. I forbid you. 1270 01:24:50,852 --> 01:24:54,686 We'll go down to the bar, and I will find you a man. 1271 01:24:54,756 --> 01:24:58,089 No way. I'm sick of looking at every man like he's a dick on legs. 1272 01:24:58,159 --> 01:25:00,559 I have one day left, and you promised! 1273 01:25:00,628 --> 01:25:02,186 You're my best friend! 1274 01:25:02,263 --> 01:25:04,026 No, I'm not gonna get my pants off. 1275 01:25:04,099 --> 01:25:06,124 You're not taking off my trousers. 1276 01:25:06,201 --> 01:25:07,725 I am not having sex with you! 1277 01:25:07,802 --> 01:25:10,794 I'm walking out of this room. Ow! 1278 01:25:10,872 --> 01:25:13,466 You deserve a whipping! I'm going to give it to you! 1279 01:25:13,541 --> 01:25:17,443 (Justin) Stop it! Stop it! Help! Help me! 1280 01:25:17,512 --> 01:25:18,979 Can you come back later? 1281 01:25:19,047 --> 01:25:20,674 (manager) Come along. 1282 01:25:20,748 --> 01:25:23,717 What I do in the privacy of my own room...! We were wrestling! 1283 01:25:23,785 --> 01:25:26,913 Hang on, it was role playing. You're gonna hear from me. 1284 01:25:26,988 --> 01:25:28,387 Yes. 1285 01:25:28,456 --> 01:25:30,856 We're two consenting adults and he was up for it! 1286 01:25:30,925 --> 01:25:31,914 Thank you, madam. 1287 01:25:31,993 --> 01:25:34,655 And... good night! 1288 01:25:34,729 --> 01:25:35,696 Good night. 1289 01:25:45,173 --> 01:25:47,573 Taxi. Taxi! 1290 01:25:47,642 --> 01:25:49,007 Taxi! 1291 01:25:49,077 --> 01:25:51,807 Please! ...Yes! 1292 01:25:58,553 --> 01:26:03,581 (Ben) I said, "I'll not go near that thing. You're crazy. " 1293 01:26:03,658 --> 01:26:05,125 Ben! 1294 01:26:05,193 --> 01:26:07,559 You alright? 1295 01:26:07,629 --> 01:26:09,290 [sigh] 1296 01:26:09,364 --> 01:26:10,422 What's wrong? 1297 01:26:16,838 --> 01:26:19,033 I had a dream of my life. 1298 01:26:19,107 --> 01:26:21,871 I would marry Zak and we would have 1299 01:26:21,943 --> 01:26:23,808 a few children and a lovely home. 1300 01:26:23,878 --> 01:26:27,370 I'm sure that's what Zak wants, too. Deep down. 1301 01:26:27,448 --> 01:26:29,507 I know about Alexandra. 1302 01:26:29,584 --> 01:26:31,051 The daddy's girl? 1303 01:26:31,119 --> 01:26:33,849 Mouth with more teeth than a shark? 1304 01:26:33,922 --> 01:26:36,447 I know all about their affair. It's okay. 1305 01:26:36,524 --> 01:26:39,550 No, he thinks she's a complete pain in the arse. 1306 01:26:39,627 --> 01:26:42,790 Well, even if he wasn't with her, I can't force him to be with me. 1307 01:26:42,864 --> 01:26:44,764 I miss him so much. 1308 01:26:44,832 --> 01:26:46,265 Georgina, it's all right. 1309 01:26:46,334 --> 01:26:49,269 [keys turning] 1310 01:26:49,337 --> 01:26:50,929 Hey, Zak! 1311 01:26:51,005 --> 01:26:52,336 What's going on? 1312 01:26:52,407 --> 01:26:56,173 Zak! I'm so glad you're back! Thank God. 1313 01:26:56,244 --> 01:26:57,973 Zak, it's not what you think. 1314 01:26:58,046 --> 01:26:59,035 Not what I think? 1315 01:26:59,113 --> 01:27:00,375 Wait! 1316 01:27:00,448 --> 01:27:02,609 You can't keep your hands off her! 1317 01:27:02,684 --> 01:27:05,847 It's taken half my life to get here! 1318 01:27:05,920 --> 01:27:07,444 Georgina was very upset. 1319 01:27:07,522 --> 01:27:09,956 No, no, no. This is upset. You absolute arse! 1320 01:27:10,024 --> 01:27:11,514 Wait! Stop! Stop! 1321 01:27:11,593 --> 01:27:12,617 Wanker! 1322 01:27:12,694 --> 01:27:18,997 [angry shouting] 1323 01:27:21,803 --> 01:27:24,397 [groan and gasp] 1324 01:27:24,472 --> 01:27:26,337 Oh my God. I'm so sorry. 1325 01:27:26,407 --> 01:27:28,967 I'm sorry. Wait, Zak! 1326 01:27:31,846 --> 01:27:33,973 Zak! Zak! 1327 01:27:40,955 --> 01:27:44,891 You've reached Zak Solomon's voicemail. Please leave a message. 1328 01:27:44,959 --> 01:27:48,520 I have something important to tell you. Please call me. 1329 01:27:48,596 --> 01:27:52,032 I need to see you tonight, before it's too late. 1330 01:29:02,103 --> 01:29:05,402 Maybe God has other plans for me. 1331 01:29:05,473 --> 01:29:08,203 All right, uhh... 1332 01:29:08,276 --> 01:29:11,575 Would you like some vodka? 1333 01:29:11,646 --> 01:29:13,409 No. 1334 01:29:13,481 --> 01:29:17,110 What about some beer or whiskey? 1335 01:29:17,185 --> 01:29:18,482 No. 1336 01:29:18,553 --> 01:29:23,923 No? All right, I know, what about echinacea, 1337 01:29:23,991 --> 01:29:27,392 with sort of ginger? Do you like that? 1338 01:29:27,462 --> 01:29:29,396 All right, I'll have a weak one. 1339 01:29:29,464 --> 01:29:30,522 Alright. 1340 01:29:30,598 --> 01:29:31,963 [doorbell] 1341 01:29:32,033 --> 01:29:34,558 Oh, I'll be right back. 1342 01:29:42,710 --> 01:29:45,440 Oh. Hello. 1343 01:29:47,014 --> 01:29:48,675 [stutters] What do you want? 1344 01:29:48,750 --> 01:29:52,652 I had a wee spot of bother with Georgina and Zak. Have you... 1345 01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:55,814 Hey, Georgina! Did you find Zak? 1346 01:29:55,890 --> 01:29:59,519 Are you all right? I felt bad. 1347 01:29:59,594 --> 01:30:00,959 I tried calling him. 1348 01:30:01,028 --> 01:30:02,757 I'm sorry I ran out. 1349 01:30:02,830 --> 01:30:03,819 [doorbell rings] 1350 01:30:05,533 --> 01:30:06,591 Clem, hi. 1351 01:30:06,667 --> 01:30:08,259 Zak. 1352 01:30:08,336 --> 01:30:11,271 I need to find out what's going on between Georgina and Ben. 1353 01:30:11,339 --> 01:30:13,239 (Georgina) You're all right? 1354 01:30:13,307 --> 01:30:15,275 (Ben) I'm absolutely fine. 1355 01:30:15,343 --> 01:30:17,573 Or maybe I should just see for myself. 1356 01:30:17,645 --> 01:30:19,840 I don't believe this. 1357 01:30:19,914 --> 01:30:21,939 You're getting this all wrong. 1358 01:30:22,016 --> 01:30:23,176 Oh really?! 1359 01:30:26,554 --> 01:30:29,114 Ow! That really hurt! 1360 01:30:29,190 --> 01:30:31,624 Right... get down! 1361 01:30:31,692 --> 01:30:33,159 [groaning] 1362 01:30:33,227 --> 01:30:37,288 Do as you're told! How many times...? 1363 01:30:37,365 --> 01:30:38,832 Oh, great, I'm bleeding. 1364 01:30:38,900 --> 01:30:40,367 [groans] 1365 01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:42,665 I've been telling you, I don't fancy Georgina. 1366 01:30:42,737 --> 01:30:47,071 She's all right, but... she's no Clem, is she? 1367 01:30:47,141 --> 01:30:48,870 What? 1368 01:30:48,943 --> 01:30:50,137 What? 1369 01:30:51,746 --> 01:30:53,304 Well, you're just so... 1370 01:30:53,381 --> 01:30:54,712 What? 1371 01:30:54,782 --> 01:30:56,716 What I mean is you're really... 1372 01:30:59,654 --> 01:31:00,678 Do you like me? 1373 01:31:00,755 --> 01:31:02,188 Well, yeah. 1374 01:31:02,256 --> 01:31:03,223 Yeah? 1375 01:31:03,291 --> 01:31:04,519 Is that okay? 1376 01:31:04,592 --> 01:31:06,321 That's fine, good, thank you. 1377 01:31:10,965 --> 01:31:12,557 Don't. Stop looking. 1378 01:31:12,633 --> 01:31:13,622 Excuse me. 1379 01:31:13,701 --> 01:31:14,861 Aye. 1380 01:31:16,971 --> 01:31:19,667 So now that we've established that 1381 01:31:19,740 --> 01:31:22,106 I'm not the hot property that you think I am 1382 01:31:22,176 --> 01:31:23,473 what do you want? 1383 01:31:23,544 --> 01:31:26,308 Then you can go crawling back to Alexandra. 1384 01:31:26,380 --> 01:31:27,711 What? 1385 01:31:27,782 --> 01:31:32,651 [scoffs] Alexandra? 1386 01:31:32,720 --> 01:31:35,245 You are joking, aren't you? 1387 01:31:38,559 --> 01:31:41,551 Okay, you're not. Sure, she's beautiful, 1388 01:31:41,629 --> 01:31:45,030 but that's not what I look for in a person, George, you know that. 1389 01:31:47,001 --> 01:31:50,937 What I mean is that you are way past beautiful. 1390 01:31:51,005 --> 01:31:54,304 You're not past it, obviously. 1391 01:31:54,375 --> 01:31:59,438 I mean, you're beautiful, but you're so much more than that. 1392 01:31:59,514 --> 01:32:02,881 Oh shit, um... 1393 01:32:02,950 --> 01:32:06,750 Georgie... I love you, okay? 1394 01:32:06,821 --> 01:32:09,449 I've never stopped loving you. Not for a second. 1395 01:32:09,524 --> 01:32:12,925 Life without you doesn't make any sense. 1396 01:32:15,229 --> 01:32:17,527 Georgie, please, can we just, can we... 1397 01:32:23,404 --> 01:32:25,998 Look... I want what you want. 1398 01:32:26,073 --> 01:32:29,634 And not because you want me to want it but because I want it too. 1399 01:32:29,710 --> 01:32:32,076 Does that make sense? 1400 01:32:32,146 --> 01:32:34,910 Well, unfortunately for me, it's too bloody late. 1401 01:32:34,982 --> 01:32:37,951 I've become your ideal woman, but I can't have children. 1402 01:32:38,019 --> 01:32:40,817 What? Georgie! 1403 01:32:40,888 --> 01:32:44,255 Georgie! What do you mean? 1404 01:32:44,325 --> 01:32:45,758 Ask them, they'll tell you. 1405 01:32:45,826 --> 01:32:46,918 I wanna ask you. 1406 01:32:46,994 --> 01:32:48,018 Leave me alone. 1407 01:32:58,339 --> 01:33:00,204 Well? 1408 01:33:28,035 --> 01:33:31,596 (Zak) They've explained everything. I'm so sorry. 1409 01:33:31,672 --> 01:33:34,607 I really meant what I said. Let's still try. 1410 01:33:34,675 --> 01:33:36,336 Okay? I love you. 1411 01:33:57,064 --> 01:33:58,258 [knocking] 1412 01:33:58,332 --> 01:34:00,459 Can I come in, boss? 1413 01:34:00,534 --> 01:34:04,265 Brian, come in. Hi. 1414 01:34:04,338 --> 01:34:06,568 About the other day, uh... 1415 01:34:06,641 --> 01:34:09,872 Look, don't say another word. 1416 01:34:09,944 --> 01:34:11,878 Yeah, I know. 1417 01:34:13,848 --> 01:34:15,008 I know. 1418 01:34:15,082 --> 01:34:17,107 It was my bollocks, weren't it? 1419 01:34:17,184 --> 01:34:19,880 Not exactly. It... 1420 01:34:19,954 --> 01:34:21,546 Look... I know. 1421 01:34:21,622 --> 01:34:26,821 Sometimes the sheer size of my down belows scares people off. 1422 01:34:26,894 --> 01:34:28,293 That was before the mumps. 1423 01:34:28,362 --> 01:34:30,523 Oh! 1424 01:34:30,598 --> 01:34:32,293 Yeah, well. 1425 01:34:32,366 --> 01:34:34,266 Thank you for this lovely chat. 1426 01:34:34,335 --> 01:34:37,133 Maybe we could just put it behind us? 1427 01:34:37,204 --> 01:34:40,139 Yeah, no problemo. It'll just be our little secret. 1428 01:34:40,207 --> 01:34:41,572 Thank you, Brian. 1429 01:34:41,642 --> 01:34:45,305 And all the lads who saw you running off. 1430 01:34:45,379 --> 01:34:49,042 It'll be their little secret as well. Okay. 1431 01:35:05,399 --> 01:35:06,832 [soft knocking] 1432 01:35:06,901 --> 01:35:08,300 Come in! 1433 01:35:19,980 --> 01:35:21,242 Hi. 1434 01:35:37,331 --> 01:35:38,855 (male jogger) Hello. 1435 01:35:38,933 --> 01:35:40,059 Ow. 1436 01:35:44,405 --> 01:35:45,804 (second male jogger) Hi. 1437 01:35:45,873 --> 01:35:46,669 (Georgina) Hi. 1438 01:35:47,641 --> 01:35:48,608 Ouch! 1439 01:35:51,512 --> 01:35:52,843 (3rd male jogger) Hello. 1440 01:35:52,913 --> 01:35:54,141 Hi. 1441 01:36:38,826 --> 01:36:40,919 (Linda) Miss Salt. This is Linda, 1442 01:36:40,995 --> 01:36:42,792 at the Park Mews Clinic. 1443 01:36:42,863 --> 01:36:45,923 As you requested, we've rechecked your positive urine test. 1444 01:36:46,000 --> 01:36:48,468 And the result of your blood test shows 1445 01:36:48,536 --> 01:36:51,266 that you are 100% pregnant! 1446 01:37:15,529 --> 01:37:17,929 [laughter] 1447 01:37:17,998 --> 01:37:20,466 [chatter and music] 1448 01:37:22,536 --> 01:37:24,936 Zachariah, darling. 1449 01:37:25,005 --> 01:37:26,563 Lovely party. 1450 01:37:26,640 --> 01:37:29,200 She's so sweet, how she's sleeping. 1451 01:37:29,276 --> 01:37:30,573 Show me again. 1452 01:37:32,613 --> 01:37:35,138 It's just gorgeous. 1453 01:37:56,704 --> 01:37:59,229 Don't worry, it'll be fine. 1454 01:38:06,447 --> 01:38:08,312 I want to give you your real present. 1455 01:38:08,382 --> 01:38:10,543 Mm. My real present. 1456 01:38:14,088 --> 01:38:16,955 Come and get it. You have to look for it 1457 01:38:17,024 --> 01:38:20,551 Okay, do you wanna give me a clue? 1458 01:38:20,628 --> 01:38:22,118 Cold. 1459 01:38:26,400 --> 01:38:27,662 Warmer. 1460 01:38:34,341 --> 01:38:36,036 Very, very hot. 1461 01:38:40,214 --> 01:38:43,650 [chuckles] You're... 1462 01:38:51,992 --> 01:38:53,016 you're... 1463 01:38:53,093 --> 01:38:55,721 um, uh, 1464 01:39:03,904 --> 01:39:05,997 God! Wow, it's... 1465 01:39:06,073 --> 01:39:07,631 Woo! 1466 01:39:07,708 --> 01:39:12,577 Hip hip... Hooray! Hip hip... Hooray! Hip hip... Hooray! 1467 01:39:15,449 --> 01:39:16,746 Oh, come here! 1468 01:39:16,817 --> 01:39:19,547 [sighs and groans] 1469 01:39:19,620 --> 01:39:21,247 I love you. 1470 01:39:21,322 --> 01:39:23,007 I love you too. 1471 01:42:22,585 --> 01:42:23,585 Subtitles by LeapinLar 107869