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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:04,487 Right, well, if everyone's ready, then. 2 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,488 My name is Paula, 3 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:09,205 and I'm here to help you all get along a little better. 4 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,607 - Good luck with that. - Oh, isn't he a treasure? 5 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:15,008 Now, Marcus, we're going to meet here every few weeks, 6 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,169 and when it's time for me to report back to the court, 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,249 if your naughty daddy has failed to show that he can look after you properly, 8 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,250 then you will go straight back to live with your mummy. Is that all clear? 9 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,328 - Translucent. - Right, how have things been? 10 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,282 - Great. - Appalling. 11 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,004 - General agreement. - No agreement. 12 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,565 So, what problems have there been, living together? 13 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:31,840 - May I? - Yes, of course. 14 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:37,289 Thank you all for coming here today. This is obviously 15 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,688 a very difficult situation and I know we all want what's best for the child. 16 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,927 - Nicely articulated, Marcus. - Little bit pretentious. 17 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,962 How can I describe Tim's parenting skills? 18 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,286 - Exemplary? - Feeble. 19 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,209 Tim is a dreadful father. 20 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,004 - Oh, that's not true. - It is. 21 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,008 - He's always late... - I object! 22 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,246 This isn't a courtroom, Tim. 23 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,090 - His cooking is abysmal. - What? Updated classics, 24 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,407 - Gary Rhodes? - The house is a death trap. 25 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,283 - Terrifying! - Give me one example. 26 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,726 OK, so there might be a little tiny bit of snagging. 27 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,524 And he has unsuitable friends. 28 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,210 Right, well, that's absolutely not true, 29 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,164 because I don't have any friends, so... bad luck 30 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,490 Objection! 31 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,170 - Sustained! - I withdraw. 32 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,726 In summary, I humbly request that social services 33 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,842 allow me to live with my mother and Philip. 34 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,565 Really don't want to talk about Philip. 35 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,325 - No offence, Philip. - Don't worry about me, bro. 36 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,089 That was a very impressive presentation. 37 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,884 - It certainly was. - I want you. 38 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,046 I'm sorry? 39 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,605 - Sorry, what? - You said you want me? 40 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,086 I...don't think so. 41 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,282 - You disgust me, Tim. - Sly goat! 42 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,482 Tim and I would never enter into a relationship. 43 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,921 - No! - God, no! A forbidden romance? 44 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,883 - Absolutely not! - Like in The English Patient. 45 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,809 - Never! - Never? Very unlikely. 46 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:45,887 - Never! - Watch this space. 47 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,490 - Ignore the space. - We'll see. 48 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,205 But for now, to help everyone achieve their goals, 49 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,129 I have prepared this special chart. 50 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,448 Every time Daddy does something good, you give him a gold star. 51 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,404 And every time he does something bad, you give him a black star. 52 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,966 - That is genius! - It's not exactly scientific. 53 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,288 - It's for children, Tim. - Still, it's pretty meaningless. 54 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,484 Do you see how this works? 55 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:08,567 - I do. - Unfairly. 56 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:09,761 - And Tim? - Yes, Paula? 57 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,689 Do you know what I tell fathers? 58 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:13,529 Try and be a hero to your son. 59 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,767 - It's that simple. - Mm. That's not simple. 60 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,484 Negative attitude. 61 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,170 OK. 62 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,850 Good. 63 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,127 Scan in progress. 64 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,208 Identified - Louise Webster. 65 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,767 - Um, no, no, it's Tim Elliott. - Have a good day, Louise. 66 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,083 OK, come on! 67 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,327 - Yeah, yeah, sit anywhere. - So... 68 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,930 first day... 69 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,166 Nervous? 70 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,486 - No, sir! - Course you are. 71 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,204 Listen up, people. I... 72 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,651 am The Examiner. 73 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,523 It's a good title, isn't it? Powerful. 74 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,962 Over the next few months, you will be undergoing extensive training 75 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,002 in all the key operational areas. 76 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,681 But I will repeat, if anyone discovers you work for MI5, 77 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,848 you're out of here. Is that clear? 78 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,451 - Yes, sir. - I definitely haven't told anyone. 79 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:36,925 Now, what is the first rule of weaponry? 80 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,405 - Safety. - Restraint. 81 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:39,930 - Have fun! - Really? 82 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,405 - You bet! - I'd have gone with safety. 83 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,729 Have you seen this stuff? This is seriously cool. 84 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,922 Two-way earpieces, recordable pens, 85 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,531 smoke grenades. Check out the Taser. 86 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,325 50,000 volts. 87 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,169 Thank you very much. 88 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:58,010 Don't you just want to sink that charge into someone? 89 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,964 - Only if the use of force is reasonable. - But who's to say if it is reasonable? 90 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,240 - The courts. - Or is it us, Tim? 91 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,089 - No, the courts. - It's a grey area. 92 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,043 - Not really. - As long as we have fun, eh? 93 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,241 Am I right or am I right? 94 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,681 - Legally you're not right. - Absolutely spot-on, sir! 95 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,405 Good lad. OK, pair up, grab some gear. 96 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,046 Target acquisition exercise in 30 minutes. 97 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,046 Oh, brilliant. 98 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,531 Have you located the target? 99 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,927 I...am The Examiner. 100 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,851 Ohhh... stop messing about, Alpha One. 101 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,564 Sorry. 102 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,481 I've found it! 103 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,241 Ahh! Yes, OK! I heard you, Alpha One! 104 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,965 Just get the bag and bring it back to the RV. 105 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,010 - My bag! - Whoa! 106 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,610 - My bag, thank you! - No, no, it isn't. 107 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,244 It's evening bag. 108 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:02,762 - Ignore him and let's go! - OK, if it's your bag, what's in it? 109 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,564 - A dog? - A dog. 110 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:05,806 Microwave? 111 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,446 - Do you need backup? - No, no, negative, negative. 112 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,608 - I'm on my way, over. - You Immigration? 113 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,847 - No, I'm not with Immigration. - You spy on me naked. 114 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,962 - OK, bye-bye. - Oh! No! 115 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,411 - Yes, give me that bag back! - Spy! 116 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:17,327 - No! - Ah! 117 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,601 Alpha One, come in, Alpha One. 118 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,291 Oh, that's... that's disgusting. 119 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,922 - Aaagh! - Ohhh! 120 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,206 Sorry. 121 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,004 Are you OK? 122 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,931 Thank God. 123 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,882 Ohh! 124 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,489 Come in, Alpha One! 125 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,124 Tim? 126 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:27,048 - It really is an incredible story, Tim. - Stop it. 127 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,401 Are you kidding? My viewers are going to love this. 128 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,603 "Single father rescues terrorised homeless man." 129 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:33,687 Wow, when you put like that... 130 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,210 And to think that only yesterday 131 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,891 you were just a pointless civil service computer dweeb. 132 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,208 - Yeah, I wouldn't quite say... - And now you're this huge local hero! 133 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,571 Whoo-whoo! Come on! 134 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,410 This is ludicrous. 135 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,171 Your son must tell you all the time how proud he is of you. 136 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,645 Oh, he does. 137 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,010 - With his eyes. - I assume this earns you a gold star? 138 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,008 - Not yet! - Marcus! 139 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,690 Well, let's remedy that straightaway. 140 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,883 Do you want to give your dad a gold star for his bravery? 141 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,649 Sadly, we're all out of gold ones. 142 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:03,920 I bought some more. 143 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,490 How about that, Marcus? 144 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,364 - How about that, Marcus? - Well played, Tim. 145 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,243 And what about you, Jarek? 146 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,250 Can you still not remember anything about the attack? 147 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,691 Nothing. 148 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,404 One minute is OK, 149 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,204 next minute... 150 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,561 - blackness. - Pity. 151 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:22,965 - Isn't it? - Well, if you do remember 152 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,526 any of the details, I would love... 153 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,006 I think the viewers will have forgotten by then. 154 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,725 So, where will Jarek go now? 155 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,286 - I don't know, it's very sad. - I stay here. 156 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,607 No. No, I don't think that's ideal. 157 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,847 - Ideal. - Not really your call. 158 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,291 That's an excellent ideal 159 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,924 Perfect, yes! 160 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,282 - And what do you think, Marcus? - Can Jarek please stay with us, Daddy? 161 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:48,848 - Please? - This is turning into a terrific story. 162 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,407 You know what, I'm gonna fast-track you onto my show tomorrow. 163 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,761 - I beg you not to. - Don't mention it, Tim. 164 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,006 Urgent toilet. 165 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,202 Again? 166 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,608 We're joined now in the studio by single father Tim Elliott, 167 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,849 who really does have an extraordinary tale to tall. Tim, 168 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,769 welcome. Great to see you today. 169 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,802 - Thanks ever so much for coming - Yeah... 170 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:14,084 - I'm watching it now. - ...Mother Teresa meets Steven Seagal. 171 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,360 And? 172 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,243 - It's OK. You look a little... - Fat, I know. 173 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,521 I was gonna say effeminate, but who cares? 174 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,246 You're a bona fide hero! This is gonna net you some serious action, dude! 175 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,520 - Really? - Are you kidding? 176 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,803 For some women, being heroic is even more important than money. 177 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,002 You are a deeply cynical man. 178 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,441 - I'll see you later. - Word. 179 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,721 - There I was... - I know him! 180 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,731 A breathing and a man, yes, a homeless dirty man. 181 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:40,888 - A homeless dirty man.? - Yes. 182 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,648 Are we crazy? 183 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,848 - One of us might be! - This can't go on, Tim. 184 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,803 - OK! - And yet it must! 185 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,241 - Really? - You can't put a name on this. 186 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:00,011 - Sexual harassment? - Do you want me to lose my job? 187 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,611 - Increasingly, yes. - You must be strong for both of us. 188 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,130 - Tell me what to do. - Leave me alone? 189 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,969 - I'll do anything you say. - Leave me alone? 190 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,843 - Just say the word. - Leave me alone? 191 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,167 - Your silence says it all. - Sod off? 192 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,840 I know, baby... l know. 193 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,090 - So were you scared? - No, sweetheart, I don't do scared. 194 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,600 Listen, this isn't just my job, you know, this is... 195 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,005 - Excuse me. - ...who I am. 196 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,530 Sorry. Excuse me. 197 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,928 Ooh, sorry, love. Are you all right? Oi, Blue Thunder, 198 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,485 The Examiner wants you. 199 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,047 I'm sorry, ladies, duty calls. 200 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,444 Yeah. 201 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,081 Ah, Tim, come in. 202 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,406 - Sit down. - Thank you. 203 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,329 - Whisky? - Er, it's 10am, sir. 204 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,806 - Gin? - Er, I think I'm fine. 205 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,764 When I first started here, Tim, drinking was only allowed after hours. 206 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,450 But I changed that. You want to know why? 207 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,802 - You have a massive drinking problem? - Because I am a maverick, Tim. 208 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,889 I do what needs to be done. Man of action. 209 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,763 I think you are too. 210 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:13,881 Thanks. 211 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,201 - I like you, Tim. - Thank you. 212 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,561 - Almost too much. - Bit weird. 213 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,806 - You showed tremendous courage yesterday. - Yeah... 214 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,161 in a way. 215 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,043 So, Action Man... 216 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,602 - ...when are you going to kill the hobo? - I'm sorry? 217 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,688 The Bulgarian. When are you gonna punch his card? 218 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:31,881 I'm not sure I understand. 219 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:36,005 Well, obviously we can't have this Jarek creature discovering that you're MI5. 220 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,883 - No, obviously... - So when are you going to terminate him? 221 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,922 Sorry, I'm not going to terminate him. 222 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,440 Mmm... I get you. 223 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:43,811 What? 224 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:44,887 I get it. 225 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,285 Why are you winking? 226 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,323 - Am I? - Yeah. 227 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:54,729 Well, you know, winking is hard to prove in one of your... law courts, Tim. 228 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,444 It could be just a... 229 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,845 twitch 230 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,121 - Is it? - Who knows? 231 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,442 - Alrighty! - OK? 232 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,370 Hey, give me the nod when you need the cleaners. 233 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,004 Oh, I won't need the cleaners. 234 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,805 - Oh, you're gonna need the cleaners. - Not gonna need the cleaners. 235 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,604 - Hey, I hear you, Tim. - Pretty sure you don't. 236 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,211 - You and I are the same, Tim. - No, we're not. 237 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,321 Yeah, ruthless. 238 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,124 Ruthless man. 239 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,606 Get in there! 240 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,925 - You're looking guilty. - I'm not! 241 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,930 No breakfast. Jarek, a black star, if you please. 242 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,361 No, no, no, no, no. Not so fast. 243 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,085 There we are. 244 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,044 Two organic free-range Columbian blacktail eggs. 245 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,367 Poached for 4 minutes and 17 seconds. 246 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:59,485 Homemade soya flaxseed bread and unsalted Venezuelan goat's butter. 247 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,251 - I'm not hungry. - Good to know that now. Thank you. 248 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,806 - I have? - Knock yourself out! 249 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,006 No, no, no, no, no. 250 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,042 - Egg no good. - Oh, dear. 251 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,082 - What? - Again. 252 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,521 - What, you just want me to redo it? - Well, I am only homeless guy, 253 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,050 you treat like rubbish. 254 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,448 No, no, it's fine. I'll just redo it. 255 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,368 You fix wire. ls very dangerous. 256 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,482 Maybe you could have a little look at that while I'm at work 257 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,126 Oh, so Jarek only useful as house slave. 258 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,811 East European guy so you treat like animal! 259 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,481 Why not you put saddle on back and ride round kitchen like Eurasian moose? 260 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,286 I quite agree. 261 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,446 Whoa, hey! Why two stars? 262 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,086 One for each egg. 263 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,204 I have to go to work. 264 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,971 - Toilet blocked again. - Course it is! 265 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,162 And we need more black stars. 266 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,200 It's been like this all week! 267 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,969 - He's a nightmare. - So throw him out! 268 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,650 - I can't! - Why not? 269 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,364 Because! I'll get more black stars. 270 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,051 And then Paula will write up a bad report 271 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,481 and then I'll lose custody of Marcus. 272 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:19,047 Yes! I am your god and you worship me. 273 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,048 - Say it! - No. 274 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:25,090 Will you talk to him? He just ignores me. 275 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,451 You want me to talk to a tramp? 276 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:28,005 - Yeah. - Why would I do that? 277 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,043 Because that's what friends do for each other? 278 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,489 No. I don't understand. 279 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:39,241 Just talk to him. Please. I don't care where he goes, I just want him out. 280 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,964 OK. On one condition. 281 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,810 Yes, fine. You are my god and I worship you. 282 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,683 That is such a nice thing to say. 283 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,451 But I was actually going to ask you to help me move that display. 284 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,481 Oh. 285 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,364 Aren't you supposed to open up by now? 286 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,767 Yeah. Look at 'em. 287 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,041 Imbeciles. 288 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:57,967 Yaaaah! 289 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,924 Yah! Yah! Go on, get! 290 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,891 Sorry, could you make any more noise? 291 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:24,402 If you wanted to get someone out of your house, how would you go about doing that? 292 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:25,601 Ask him to many me? 293 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,244 Knowing my luck, Jarek would probably accept. 294 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,726 Ah, yes, your Bulgarian bromance. 295 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,285 - You live alone, don't you? - Why? 296 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:33,209 Maybe Jarek could come and stay with you. 297 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,083 Aww! 298 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,328 I've just got so much work to catch up on, and I don't get any peace at home. 299 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,771 Don't worry, I'm sure he'll leave soon. 300 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,564 I've asked my friend Chris to talk to him. 301 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,410 - Well, there you go, then. - Yeah. You haven't met Chris. 302 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,649 Tell you what, if Chris has no success, I suppose I could always help you study. 303 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:51,920 - Really? - Sure. Why not? 304 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,530 - I could come study at your place! - My place? 305 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,848 - I thought that's what you meant. - No. Yes! That is what I meant. 306 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,325 You come to mine. 307 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:02,046 You see, I mean, it's just a study session, it's not like it's a date! 308 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,366 No! 309 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,004 - How about Saturday night? - Saturday? 310 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,168 - It's when Marcus stays with his mother. - Right. 311 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,009 That is such a relief. 312 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,490 Oh, I feel less anxious already. 313 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,284 Mm, me too. 314 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,765 Phew! 315 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,202 First, may I say that my client 316 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,129 - has enjoyed your company? - Thank you. 317 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,891 But he feels the current situation cannot continue. 318 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,081 Why not? 319 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,168 Let's just say irreconcilable differences. 320 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,090 However, in recognition of your contribution, 321 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,930 we are prepared to offer you a very generous... 322 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,008 severance package. 323 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,521 That's not going to fly, Chris. 324 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,325 We think it's a pretty substantial offer, given the economic climate. 325 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,806 Fine. Well, we'll just have to see what the media make of it 326 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,730 when we disclose the real circumstances of Jarek's... 327 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,125 "accident". 328 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,571 - You mean...? - That's right, Chris, 329 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,001 we've known all along that Tim fell on Jarek. 330 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,520 - You wouldn't dare. - Try me. 331 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:18,331 Fine. �1,000 and a one-way flight to Bulgaria. On Ryanair. 332 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,249 �2,000 and a KLM flight. 333 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,362 - �1,500, EasyJet. - Bulkhead seats. 334 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,050 Regular seats, but priority boarding. 335 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,081 - Lunch. - A sandwich. 336 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,043 - On board. - You're dreaming! 337 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:31,130 Boots meal deal, and I don't introduce our friend to UK Immigration. 338 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:44,603 My client also wants 13 litres of industrial-strength toilet cleaner. 339 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,927 - Industrial! - Done. 340 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,531 As long as your client is out of the house within the hour. 341 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,050 Agreed. 342 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,401 - Thank you. - Thank you. 343 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,125 - Thank you very much. - Thank you. 344 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,970 Now, gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, Hannah Montana is on. 345 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:13,205 - How's our little problem? - Being handled, sir. 346 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,050 Alrighty. Just let me know when you need the cleaners. 347 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,003 - Not gonna need the cleaners. - Oh, you're gonna need... 348 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,610 Can we please not get into this again? 349 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,168 I like everything about you, Tim. 350 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,440 OK. 351 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:30,610 Ohhh! 352 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,923 Ah-ha-ha! 353 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:41,280 Jarek, your taxi will be here in ten minutes. 354 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,606 OK. OK. 355 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,842 Jarek? 356 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,609 Jarek! 357 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,161 Oh, dear... 358 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,726 - Still nothing? - I don't know what he's doing. 359 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,967 Told him to call me straight after. 360 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,083 So I was thinking for Saturday, I might as well make a bit of dinner. 361 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,963 Nothing flash, just a little nibble. 362 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,604 I was wondering, 363 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,449 is there anything you don't... 364 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:19,881 like? 365 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,564 I really wish people would stop doing that! 366 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:23,601 I'm sorry. 367 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,564 You know you're not supposed to come to my work. How did it go? 368 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,681 There's good news and bad news. 369 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,089 What's the bad news? 370 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:32,804 Jarek's dead. 371 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,527 Any chance the good news offsets the bad news? 372 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,641 Not really. 373 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,689 I asked you to negotiate with him! 374 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:41,767 I did! 375 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,928 Well, it sounds like you were a little inflexible! 376 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,804 He electrocuted himself on your dodgy light switches. 377 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,922 Oh, God. Does Marcus know? 378 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,725 Not yet. I hid the body in his yoga mat. 379 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:52,966 Eww! 380 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,684 What're we gonna do? 381 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:03,884 All right, leave it to me. 382 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,208 - OK. - I think I know someone who can help. 383 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,326 My fingerprints are everywhere. 384 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,569 Don't you worry about a thing, Tim, 385 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,285 - my boys will take it from here. - Really not what you think 386 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,561 - I know, of course, an accident. Boo-hoo. - It was. 387 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,809 Damn it, Tim, you complete me. 388 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,049 Everybody, that guy - ruthless. Learn from him. 389 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,689 - Permission to call an ambulance, sir. - Yeah, yeah, permission granted. 390 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,571 - That was a good result, then! - It's really not what it looks like. 391 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,284 I only asked him to go round and... 392 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,651 Actually, I'd rather not know the details, 393 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:45,966 - if that's OK? - OK. 394 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,803 I won't have to bother you at the weekend, so, you know, you're off the hook. 395 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,365 Hooray. 396 00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,769 I guaranteed my viewers a follow-up and now I'm going to look like a complete tit. 397 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,122 - Yeah, I just came home and he was gone. - Damn, damn, damn! 398 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,322 - Sorry. - Oh, it's OK. 399 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,250 I'll just have to make something up. 400 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,487 When you say "make up"...? 401 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,047 I don't know, the usual veiled character attack on you. Unsubtle innuendos 402 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,004 suggesting foul play and perversions. 403 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,929 I'll figure something out, don't worry about me. 404 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,201 - OK, good. - Unless, of course, 405 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,846 Tim comes on your show and confesses to... 406 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,451 I don't know, having Jarek deported? 407 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,847 - Absolutely not! - That's a brilliant idea. 408 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:34,044 - "Hero disgraced on national television." - It has a ring to it. 409 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,650 I'm never... There's no way I'm doing that. 410 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:39,321 But you see, if you don't, I'll have to dig into every part of your life... 411 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,011 your family, your girlfriends, your work.. 412 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,530 - My work? - Everything. 413 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,925 This is ridiculous! 414 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:49,760 And remember, Tim, we're going to need plenty of tears. 415 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,201 - Forget it! - Oceans of tears. 416 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,606 You are a despicable person, aren't you? 417 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:57,846 Yes. 418 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,522 You're a spiteful, heartless, perverted monster. 419 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,050 - Yes. - Say it. 420 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,884 - I am a spiteful, heartless... - Perverted. 421 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,843 Yes, thank you... perverted monster. 422 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,201 You're basically a total sh... 423 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,722 - I think we've seen enough. - It made it seem worse than it was. 424 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,330 This makes it hard for us to be together. 425 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,727 - Us? - There is no "us", Tim! 426 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,603 - Let it go! - But you just said... 427 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,120 But you just said this... 428 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,410 OK, fine. 429 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,047 Hey! 430 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,129 In anticipation. It's been a tough couple of weeks, Tim. 431 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,288 Currently there's no contest between you and Philip. 432 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,971 Really don't wanna talk about Philip. No offence, Philip. 433 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,128 None taken, bubba. 434 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,128 - Who's for giving Tim another chance? - No. 435 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:44,730 - No. - Absolutely! 436 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:49,762 So, let's see if we can't turn things around and start over. 437 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,883 - Oh, terrific - Oh, negative attitude! 438 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,446 OK. good 439 00:21:55,496 --> 00:22:00,046 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33475

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