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1
00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:57,222
The plane! The plane!
2
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,225
Good grief.
3
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,628
Boss, it's time to
Play you bet my face.
4
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,553
Try to guess. Who am I?
5
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,423
Um...
6
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,303
Humphrey bogart.
7
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:36,661
Oh, boss, stop kidding around.
8
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:46,083
I worked months on my
Impression of groucho marx.
9
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:49,586
You know, for the
Big amateur show.
10
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,122
Now, don't you think
It's too much, huh?
11
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:54,813
Definitely. Shall we
Greet our guests?
12
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:34,864
Smiles, everyone. Smiles.
13
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,023
♪♪
14
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:44,674
Boss, look, it's danny
Baker, the famous comedian.
15
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,343
He breaks me up.
16
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:49,179
As a matter of fact,
Mr. Baker is here for a holiday
17
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,648
And also to be the
Master of ceremonies
18
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,806
For the big fantasy
Island amateur night show.
19
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:58,388
Does he have a fantasy? No.
20
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,357
But the young man with him does.
21
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:02,259
He is mr. Jerry burton,
22
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:05,529
And for the past eight years,
He's been mr. Baker's writer.
23
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,631
Wow. What a terrific job.
24
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,998
Perhaps.
25
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,667
But it's a long way
26
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,836
From the excitement and
Warmth of the spotlight.
27
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,606
Mr. Burton wants to
Step out of oblivion
28
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,542
And into the
Center of the stage,
29
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:22,011
Where he can fulfill his fantasy
To be what his employer is...
30
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,547
A star comic.
31
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:26,771
Boss, I don't think
Even you can help him.
32
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:32,711
Mr. Burton looks like
A... A king-sized nothing.
33
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,195
Ms. Linda larson.
34
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:41,565
She looks like a lady who
Can handle her own fantasies.
35
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:43,300
Does she really need us?
36
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,435
She didn't come
For herself, tattoo.
37
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:48,205
She's here to help
Her sister, sandy.
38
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:51,374
Sandy was well on her way
To become a top fashion model
39
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:54,844
Until she was injured in an
Automobile accident five years ago.
40
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,346
That's very sad.
41
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,014
Yes, it is, tattoo.
42
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,584
Her desire to live
Seemed paralyzed
43
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:03,186
Along with her
Legs until a year ago,
44
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,489
When she began a pen pal
Relationship with a man in prison.
45
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:09,259
His letters seemed to
Fill her with happiness
46
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,728
And a desire to
Live and get well.
47
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,363
What did the letters say?
48
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:15,732
She never shared
The contents, tattoo.
49
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,034
She never told her
Pen pal she was crippled.
50
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:21,804
Then, three months ago, his letters
Stopped coming for some reason,
51
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,740
And she's been
Depressed ever since.
52
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:27,210
And that's why her sister
Brought her here... To cheer her up?
53
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:30,079
Much more than that, tattoo.
Sandy doesn't know it yet,
54
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:34,217
But she's here to finally meet
Her pen pal, mr. Michael banning.
55
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:37,086
But, boss, you said
He was in prison.
56
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,022
Unfortunately, yes.
Maximum security.
57
00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:41,858
And at this moment,
He is being flown
58
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,193
From a military prison in japan
59
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,963
To leavenworth prison in kansas.
60
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:50,088
But, boss, how are you
Going to bring them together?
61
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,275
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
62
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:01,466
Welcome to fantasy island.
63
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,336
And, uh, this is
Where we'll hold
64
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,771
The amateur night
Show, mr. Baker.
65
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:32,942
I think you'll find our
Stage rather well equipped.
66
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,877
Yeah. Yeah,
Everything looks okay,
67
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,879
But I'm gonna fix it up a
Little, if you don't mind.
68
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,816
Put some more speakers in the back of
The house. I wanna make sure they hear me.
69
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,117
And get some lights up
Front. Look how dark it is.
70
00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:44,153
What's with this
schmatta hanging here?
71
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,188
It's gonna block
About four tables.
72
00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:48,858
Let's hear it for
Another great impression
73
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:52,049
From the wonderful tattoo.
74
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,131
Good evening, music lovers.
75
00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:58,501
Tonight, I would
Like to play for you,
76
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,770
For my first selection,
77
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,406
One of my all-time favorites,
78
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:05,663
"The beer barrel polka."
79
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,571
♪♪
80
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,145
♪♪
81
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,509
Hey, that's great.
82
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,944
Put a couple of lines about
The shrimp in my act, huh?
83
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,448
See you later. Bye, roarke.
84
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,005
♪♪ uh, tattoo?
85
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:52,555
Tattoo!
86
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,123
Yes, boss?
87
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:58,428
I think that is sufficient.
Thank you so much.
88
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,296
It needs a lot of work, huh?
89
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,187
Uh, well...
90
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,907
Uh, mr. Burton, why
Don't you have a seat?
91
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,597
Oh, thank you.
92
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:19,582
Uh, danny baker relies
Heavily on you, doesn't he?
93
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,685
But I must say, he didn't
Seem unappreciative.
94
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,321
No, no, really, despite
His abrupt behavior.
95
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,557
Are you sure you
Want to quit your job
96
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,192
And become a stand-up
Comedian yourself?
97
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,194
Surer than ever, mr. Roarke.
98
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:35,631
You see, danny's planning to fire me
Next month when my contract runs out.
99
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,067
Why should he want
To fire you, after,
100
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:41,938
What is it now, eight years...
Eight successful years together?
101
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,173
Maybe because danny's a comic,
102
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,642
And comics always
Resent their writers.
103
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,612
You see, they think it's them
That's funny, not the material.
104
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,881
Whatever the reason,
My time's running out,
105
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,415
And I need that fantasy quick.
106
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:56,452
I see. Now, would tomorrow
Night be quick enough for you?
107
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,287
Tomorrow night?
108
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,422
You got me a date that quick?
109
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,859
Oh, that's great, mr. Roarke.
110
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:07,930
Yes, your first engagement
As a stand-up comedian. Yes.
111
00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,732
I've arranged for you
To be the opening act
112
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:12,256
At a small nightclub on
The north side of the island.
113
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:17,507
Uh, it's a bar, actually,
114
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:20,676
Called, uh, the bucket of suds.
115
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,613
Its clientele consists
Mostly of workers
116
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:27,216
From the pineapple
Plantation and off-duty sailors.
117
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:30,152
Heavy drinkers
But good laughers.
118
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,287
Mr. Roarke, I'll take it.
119
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:35,124
And you don't know
How grateful I am.
120
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,660
Fine. Then I'll tell them
To expect you, huh?
121
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,563
Great. Oh.
122
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:45,334
If you'll excuse me, I got about nine
Pounds of jokes to write for danny.
123
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,770
At least I can leave
Him laughing, hmm?
124
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:49,093
Thank you.
125
00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:06,522
Mr. Roarke, your island is the
Most beautiful place I've ever seen.
126
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,357
I am delighted.
127
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,694
Okay. Now do I find out why
You brought me here, linda?
128
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,462
Well, to cheer you up.
129
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:16,732
We're quite good at it, if
You'll give us the chance.
130
00:09:16,756 --> 00:09:19,535
I'm sure you do, mr. Roarke.
131
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,204
I just wish I could cheer up,
132
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,930
But I keep thinking of all
The things I can't do anymore.
133
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:37,219
Your sister's morale does
Seem very low, ms. Larson.
134
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,854
I told you, mr. Roarke.
135
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:42,058
She's been like that since mike
Banning's letters stopped coming.
136
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,393
I don't mind telling
You I'm very skeptical.
137
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,797
I mean, how can you
Possibly get mike banning
138
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,599
Out of prison
And on this island?
139
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:53,024
You must have faith, ms. Larson,
140
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,871
This is fantasy island.
141
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,773
mayday! Mayday! Pilot to tower!
142
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,776
this is air force zebra
Whiskey zulu 2-5-1-5.
143
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,717
What's going on?
What's happening?
144
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,919
We lost all pressure
In the starboard engine.
145
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,988
Fuel pump's gone
On the port side.
146
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,555
We're gonna have to set
Her down on the ocean.
147
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:15,491
If we're gonna crash,
Get me out of these.
148
00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:16,926
Mayday! Mayday!
149
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,995
This is air force zebra
150
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:22,598
whiskey zulu 2-5-1-5,
Calling anyone!
151
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,034
can you read us? Pilot to tower.
152
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,202
mayday! Mayday!
153
00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:30,139
Air force zebra
Whiskey zulu 2-5-1-5,
154
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,507
this is fantasy island.
155
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,610
you are approximately
40 miles northwest of us
156
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,846
on a bearing of 320 degrees.
157
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,648
we have an emergency
Landing strip
158
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,082
on the south end of the island.
159
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:42,785
please alter your
Heading to 1-6-0.
160
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,509
I repeat, 1-6-0.
161
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:03,438
air force zebra
Whiskey zulu 2-5-1-5,
162
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:05,607
I have you in sight, and
You're looking good.
163
00:11:05,631 --> 00:11:07,576
you have a 10-knot
Crosswind out of the east.
164
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,844
over.
165
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,546
roger, fantasy island tower.
166
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,581
10-knot crosswind
Out of the east.
167
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,349
we're now turning
On final approach,
168
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:15,851
wheels down and locked.
169
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,053
zebra whiskey zulu,
170
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,320
you're coming in too hot.
171
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,656
throttle back. Throttle back.
172
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,080
and good luck.
173
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,807
Ah, gentlemen, I am mr. Roarke.
174
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:14,165
Welcome to fantasy
Island. Well, thank you, sir.
175
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,545
My name's victor grennan.
176
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,180
I'm a federal marshal.
This is my prisoner.
177
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:19,548
You got some place
I can lock him up
178
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,917
While they're getting
The plane fixed?
179
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,853
Does your prisoner have a name?
180
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,944
Yeah. Mike banning, mr. Roarke.
181
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:31,693
Like I was saying,
Where can I lock him up?
182
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:33,729
Nowhere, marshal, uh...
183
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,898
Grennan. Marshal grennan.
184
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,100
I'm afraid that not only
Can you not lock him up,
185
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:41,270
I'll have to ask you to
Remove the restraining belt.
186
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,172
Oh, but you have
Nothing to worry about.
187
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,874
There is no escape
From the island.
188
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,642
Look, he's my prisoner,
And I'll chain him
189
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,043
To the plane if I have to.
190
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:51,814
Please, marshal...
Um, uh, grennan,
191
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:53,615
This is my island.
192
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,885
I am the law here,
193
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,142
The only law.
194
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,060
Now, you listen to me, punk.
195
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,728
I've never lost a prisoner,
196
00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:08,592
And you're not
Gonna be number one.
197
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,834
You try getting off this island,
198
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:13,618
You're gonna get
Yourself killed.
199
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,180
When you've had a
Chance to change,
200
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:29,151
There is someone on the
Island you might like to see.
201
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,908
I don't think I know
Anybody on this island.
202
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,552
I'm referring to
Miss sandy larson.
203
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,545
Your pen pal. You remember?
204
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,790
Yeah.
205
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:49,794
Uh, she here?
206
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,933
Sandy.
207
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:02,951
Yes, she's here, on
A little vacation.
208
00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,220
I'd, uh... I'd prefer
Not to see her.
209
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:07,456
Well, that's surprising,
Since the two of you
210
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,793
Have corresponded for
Over a year and haven't met.
211
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,828
Yeah, well, it was
All right for a while,
212
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,497
But I had my reasons.
213
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:15,986
I don't have them anymore.
214
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,303
I think you, uh, know how it is.
215
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,793
No, I don't.
216
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:25,574
Perhaps you should tell me.
217
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,910
Well, in prison, they take
Away all your privacies.
218
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:29,545
They search you down
To your underwear,
219
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,979
And they go
Through all your mail,
220
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:32,782
Incoming and outgoing.
221
00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:34,417
And in the outgoing,
222
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,185
I'd slide in all these
Little niceties...
223
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,587
You know, "Live good,
Do good, be good,"
224
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:39,789
To impress the board.
225
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:41,223
I see. Right.
226
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:43,091
Well, I went before the
Board three months ago,
227
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:47,896
And as you can see, they're not
Exactly taking me to the mardi gras.
228
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,833
No, they're not. I see.
229
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:55,170
Then her letters meant
Nothing at all to you.
230
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:56,505
Well, some, yeah.
231
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,341
She's good people.
232
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,543
It's just that, uh...
233
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,011
I think you should see
Miss larson anyway.
234
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,279
Oh, really?
235
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:05,881
Really.
236
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,850
If not,
237
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:11,976
A fuel pump to fix
Your airplane's engine...
238
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,514
Might conveniently be
Found in the next few minutes.
239
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,428
That's how it goes, huh?
240
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:20,885
That's how it goes.
241
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:24,967
Agreed?
242
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:26,223
Looks like I have no choice.
243
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:38,936
Come in.
244
00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:47,690
Where would you like
Your sandwiches, sir?
245
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:48,846
Uh...
246
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:54,597
One thing about mr. Roarke...
247
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,965
He has a great
Man at his side...
248
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:57,966
Tattoo.
249
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,402
Tattoo has to be at his side
250
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:01,003
Because if he stood
In front of him,
251
00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:02,438
He'd talk into his knee.
252
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,973
"Talk into his knee."
That's terrific.
253
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,341
Oh, thank you.
254
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,644
I never touched you.
255
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,780
Jerome burtinnowsky. What?
256
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,381
Uh, jerome burtinnowsky...
257
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,949
Miss henning's french class?
258
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,285
Erasmus dinowitz high?
259
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,188
Uh-uh, mary margaret doyle!
It's me... Margaret doyle!
260
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:21,757
Oh, gee, c'est tu?
261
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:23,258
vraiment?
262
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:26,429
Is it really you,
Mademoiselle doyle?
263
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,530
It's me.
264
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:28,764
Oh, gee...
265
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,566
Oh, but... But I can't
Believe that it's you.
266
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,536
You look so, uh, distingue.
267
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,905
Oh, merci beaucoup.
268
00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:39,642
I mean, back in high school you
Were always so shy and everything.
269
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,110
So yeah, you were
Always hunched over
270
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:44,346
With your face in that book bag.
271
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,882
That was because I was very
Sensitive about my braces.
272
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:47,917
Oh.
273
00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:49,284
I had so much wire in my mouth,
274
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,787
I couldn't even talk
During an electrical storm.
275
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,256
That's right. They
Used to call you, uh...
276
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,159
Metal mouth. Metal mouth, right.
277
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,962
Oh, and remember
What they called me?
278
00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:02,264
Skinny. Skinny.
279
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:05,067
Skinny, skinny, mary doyle.
280
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,603
Hands are built like olive oyl.
281
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,241
I filled out.
282
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,844
Um...
283
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,513
Oh.
284
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:21,149
Oh, mary, if I knew you were
Gonna turn out so great,
285
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:25,153
I probably would've taken my head
Out of my book bag a little earlier.
286
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:27,077
Sit down, please. Oh.
287
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:29,592
Gosh. Yeah.
288
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:32,194
Oh, I always thought
You were so funny.
289
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,896
Oh...
290
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,999
You must feel real proud about
Writing for a big star like danny baker.
291
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,167
You know what I
Do? Are you kidding?
292
00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:42,371
I mean, you always said you
Were gonna write broadway plays,
293
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,156
And I guess you've
Even done that. Not yet.
294
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:50,412
Mary, I'm gonna stop
Writing for danny.
295
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,414
I'm gonna be a stand-up
Comic on my own.
296
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:53,749
No more invisible man.
297
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,684
Oh, that's terrific!
298
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,787
I mean, if that's what you wanna
Do, I'm sure you're gonna make it.
299
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,023
You always were
Talented and a hard worker.
300
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,692
Uh, could I come watch your act?
301
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,528
I'd laugh like anything.
302
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,129
Yeah, sure. Of course.
303
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,097
Good.
304
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:11,199
Oh, golly.
305
00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:14,503
But right now, I gotta
Deliver these jokes to danny.
306
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,539
Uh...
307
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:20,042
But listen, we'll talk
About this later, okay?
308
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:21,076
Okay.
309
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,801
Wonderful to see you
Again, mary margaret.
310
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,951
Au revoir.
311
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,753
Au revoir.
312
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:50,573
Now? Now.
313
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,262
Not a bad-looking girl, huh?
314
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:03,185
Hello, sandy.
315
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:04,820
Mike!
316
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,122
Yeah, in the flesh.
317
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,092
You're taller than
I thought you'd be.
318
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,660
Oh, yeah?
319
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,897
Well, I told you how tall I was in
One of those letters. You remember?
320
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,332
That's right. I remember now.
321
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,635
You're prettier than
I thought you'd be.
322
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,259
Oh, thank you.
323
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,676
Are you finished... Eating?
324
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,814
We could, uh, take a walk if you
Want, talk someplace in private.
325
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:36,140
No. No. This... This is fine.
326
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:46,117
I thought the two of you
Might want to move around.
327
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,821
Mr. Roarke, how could you?
328
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,659
Does it make any
Difference, mr. Banning?
329
00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:00,009
No.
330
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,476
Well, then, why don't
You help the lady?
331
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,833
I don't need any help.
332
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,658
I want to go back
To my bungalow.
333
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:18,994
Oh, I suggest that our
Lagoon is much prettier.
334
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,663
Why don't you take
Miss larson there?
335
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,330
It's okay. I don't want to go.
336
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,800
I think you should, miss larson.
337
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,368
I don't need any help.
338
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:29,138
I wasn't gonna help. I was just
Gonna put my hands on the handles
339
00:20:29,162 --> 00:20:30,795
So it'd look like I was helping.
340
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:45,287
And there you are, my dear.
341
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:47,289
That'll be $1.80.
342
00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:50,025
Oh, you look gorgeous, honey.
343
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:53,662
That's a terrific suitless
Bathing strap you almost have on.
344
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:56,331
You better hide in the woods before
The board of health closes your body.
345
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:58,967
Rowr. There you go.
346
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,869
Hey, isn't this fun,
Playing in the woods?
347
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,106
Oh, mr. Roarke, tattoo.
348
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,874
Glad you're here to see this.
349
00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,743
After I deliver these, I'm free.
350
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,913
It's arrivederci danny,
Hello my new career.
351
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,982
Unfortunately, mr. Burton,
There is a slight problem.
352
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:15,317
Problem?
353
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:16,752
Yes.
354
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:20,122
Apparently the reputation
Of the bucket of suds
355
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:23,759
Wasn't as unjust as
The proprietor claimed.
356
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:26,561
It seems they had a brawl
There a few hours ago.
357
00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:29,297
Now, the proprietor
Apologized profoundly
358
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:32,134
And requested a 30-day
Delay for your opening.
359
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,536
Apparently that's the
Sentence he'll receive
360
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,740
For assault with intent to
Commit great bodily harm.
361
00:21:37,764 --> 00:21:40,475
Naturally, I told him to
Forget the whole thing.
362
00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:43,011
But, mr. Roarke, what
Am I gonna do now?
363
00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,647
I mean, you promised
Me my fantasy.
364
00:21:45,671 --> 00:21:49,017
And you shall have it,
Mr. Burton. You shall have it.
365
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:52,187
I have booked you a spot on the
Amateur show tomorrow night.
366
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,890
You will be seen not
Only by the audience,
367
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:58,426
But by several booking agents
Who have promised to attend.
368
00:21:58,450 --> 00:22:00,462
That's terrible. I
Beg your pardon?
369
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:03,365
Mr. Roarke, danny is
The emcee of that thing.
370
00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:05,868
When he sees me up there,
He'll slice me to ribbons.
371
00:22:05,892 --> 00:22:07,535
Believe me, he is
A master at that.
372
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:10,973
I have seen him
Tear comics apart.
373
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:14,609
I wouldn't stand a
Chance against him.
374
00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:17,112
He's just too good at
Putting people down.
375
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:18,803
Does that mean you are refusing?
376
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:24,674
If you'll excuse me, I better
Get these jokes to him.
377
00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:28,390
Boss, what's wrong with him?
378
00:22:28,414 --> 00:22:31,559
I thought his fantasy was to
Become a comic like danny baker.
379
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:35,264
It takes more than desire to
Fulfill any fantasy, my friend.
380
00:22:35,288 --> 00:22:37,132
The element of courage
381
00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:39,668
Is indispensable to the
Realization of any dream.
382
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:42,905
Folks, folks, if I can have your
Attention, please, everybody.
383
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:45,040
Please. Attention everybody.
384
00:22:45,064 --> 00:22:49,011
As you know, tomorrow night
Is our big amateur talent show,
385
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:51,146
And I want you all to be there,
386
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:54,249
Because I'm gonna be there,
And I hate to work alone.
387
00:22:54,273 --> 00:22:57,252
And just to give you a sample of the
Fun we're gonna have tomorrow night,
388
00:22:57,276 --> 00:23:00,856
I'd like to read you
Some of my latest ad libs.
389
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,925
Oh, but first, hey,
390
00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:06,094
Let's have a big hand
For our mr. Roarke, huh?
391
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,696
Ah.
392
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,866
And how about a
Pinkie for tattoo?
393
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:16,972
Oh, that tattoo... He really is
Something else, let me tell you.
394
00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:19,107
You know, mr. Roarke
Wanted to give him his fantasy,
395
00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:23,545
But it was a little hard to
Shrink down raquel welch.
396
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:27,972
Then he tried dehydrating dolly
Parton, but that was a bust too.
397
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:32,554
A bust. You know, a...
398
00:23:44,790 --> 00:23:49,004
Since you didn't know
About... This thing,
399
00:23:49,028 --> 00:23:51,840
Why'd you stop writing?
400
00:23:51,864 --> 00:23:54,009
I ran out of things to say.
401
00:23:54,033 --> 00:23:56,745
I don't believe you.
402
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:59,514
We were at it for a year.
403
00:23:59,538 --> 00:24:01,850
I got bored, you know?
404
00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:03,640
Bored of...
405
00:24:05,011 --> 00:24:06,955
Your letters didn't
Sound like you were bored.
406
00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:09,457
You know, if I wanted to, I
Could probably sell a wristwatch
407
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:11,593
To anybody with
Nothing on the inside.
408
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,595
Your letters had insides.
409
00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:15,597
They weren't the
Letters of a game player,
410
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,665
They were filled with feeling.
411
00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:20,568
But sharing a few
Fantasies with you
412
00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:22,905
About our making love
413
00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:24,561
Is...
414
00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:29,711
Well, it's... It's not
Very hard to do
415
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:32,480
For a guy that's locked up.
416
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:33,982
I don't care what
Anybody thinks.
417
00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:36,351
All I care about is
Getting out of prison.
418
00:24:36,375 --> 00:24:38,987
You know what's really sad?
419
00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:41,790
Here we are in person
For the first time.
420
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:46,428
All we can do is
Argue over what was.
421
00:24:46,452 --> 00:24:49,998
I guess I don't know why
You wrote what you wrote,
422
00:24:50,022 --> 00:24:53,090
But I do know what
Your letters meant to me.
423
00:25:13,812 --> 00:25:15,991
No, you can't come
In! I told you no!
424
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,693
Come on. Get out of
My way, short stuff.
425
00:25:18,717 --> 00:25:20,417
I gotta see that boss of yours.
426
00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,802
And what is the
Meaning of this, marshal?
427
00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:30,038
Everything is
Under control, huh?
428
00:25:30,062 --> 00:25:31,706
Nothing to worry about, right?
429
00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:34,609
Well, that's what you
Said, wasn't it, mr. Big shot?
430
00:25:34,633 --> 00:25:37,379
Hmm? Uh, approximately, yes.
431
00:25:37,403 --> 00:25:39,448
Uh-huh.
432
00:25:39,472 --> 00:25:42,817
Well, then, suppose you
Tell me where my prisoner is.
433
00:25:42,841 --> 00:25:45,420
I saw him with
That crippled girl,
434
00:25:45,444 --> 00:25:47,677
And now he's disappeared.
435
00:25:49,115 --> 00:25:54,262
But like I told you, he
Can't get off the island.
436
00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:57,065
Well, now, I'm telling you,
437
00:25:57,089 --> 00:25:59,923
He's attempting escape, and
That's gonna get him killed.
438
00:26:10,969 --> 00:26:12,947
Speaking of drunks,
What about the drunk
439
00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:14,683
That put a dime in the
Parking meter and said,
440
00:26:14,707 --> 00:26:16,551
"Hey, what do you
Know? I weigh an hour."
441
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:17,941
Hey!
442
00:26:19,077 --> 00:26:21,456
Oh, come on! How about
A game of one-on-one?
443
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,226
Oh, no. No, no. First
Rule of basketball...
444
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:26,628
Never play with a girl...
Taller than yourself.
445
00:26:26,652 --> 00:26:28,763
It's my ball. I'm
Gonna take it and go.
446
00:26:28,787 --> 00:26:30,354
Sorry.
447
00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:37,572
I heard today that you
Turned down a performance
448
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:40,808
That mr. Roarke set up for you.
449
00:26:40,832 --> 00:26:42,810
I didn't know I was
Important enough
450
00:26:42,834 --> 00:26:44,879
To make the local gossip.
451
00:26:44,903 --> 00:26:47,148
Well, actually,
Nobody's talking about it.
452
00:26:47,172 --> 00:26:49,917
I just happened to ask tattoo
453
00:26:49,941 --> 00:26:52,387
What was going on
With your new career.
454
00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:55,590
Why'd you wanna know?
455
00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:57,125
Because.
456
00:26:57,149 --> 00:26:58,848
Because why?
457
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:06,635
Because I like you,
Jerome burtonowski,
458
00:27:06,659 --> 00:27:09,771
And I remember how,
When you were a little kid,
459
00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:12,274
You were always
Kind of shy and afraid.
460
00:27:12,298 --> 00:27:14,276
But it never stopped you.
461
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:17,545
Not even when that big bully
Dared you to fight him. Remember?
462
00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:20,448
Oh, uh... Maniac malone.
463
00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:23,618
Right. Right. Was he mean.
464
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:26,488
He used to go
Around biting dogs.
465
00:27:26,512 --> 00:27:30,124
Yeah, and you showed up in this huge
Pair of pants pulled up around your chin,
466
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:34,384
And you said, "No
Hitting below the belt."
467
00:27:40,859 --> 00:27:42,870
So what's really the matter?
468
00:27:42,894 --> 00:27:45,106
Why won't you do it?
469
00:27:45,130 --> 00:27:48,209
I'm scared stiff... Of danny.
470
00:27:48,233 --> 00:27:51,946
I know what he can do to
Me. Why put myself through it?
471
00:27:51,970 --> 00:27:55,283
Oh, I see. So you
Have changed then.
472
00:27:55,307 --> 00:27:58,420
When you were a kid, you would
At least show up to face the bully.
473
00:27:58,444 --> 00:28:01,155
You won't even do that now,
Will you? Will you stop it already?
474
00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:03,692
He'd make a fool out of
Me in front of everybody.
475
00:28:03,716 --> 00:28:06,728
Not everybody!
476
00:28:06,752 --> 00:28:09,197
I wouldn't think of you as a
Fool no matter what happened
477
00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:10,787
Or how it turned out.
478
00:28:12,725 --> 00:28:16,526
In fact, I'd be
Very proud of you.
479
00:28:18,731 --> 00:28:21,064
Suppose nobody
Laughed at my material?
480
00:28:22,167 --> 00:28:23,812
I'll laugh,
481
00:28:23,836 --> 00:28:26,414
'cause I happen to think
482
00:28:26,438 --> 00:28:29,906
You're the funniest person
In the whole wide world.
483
00:28:36,281 --> 00:28:38,682
And an excellent
Basketball player.
484
00:28:48,159 --> 00:28:50,472
You kiss much better
Without braces.
485
00:29:19,892 --> 00:29:21,870
Hold it right there.
486
00:29:21,894 --> 00:29:24,193
I told you you was
Gonna get yourself killed.
487
00:29:41,914 --> 00:29:44,125
Marshal grennan!
488
00:29:44,149 --> 00:29:47,295
As I warned you, you have
No jurisdiction on this island.
489
00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:49,664
You pull the trigger,
And it's murder.
490
00:29:49,688 --> 00:29:52,500
You will be treated and
Tried like a common criminal.
491
00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:56,059
And guys all over the world in
Prisons would like to see you again, ape.
492
00:29:59,998 --> 00:30:02,398
I suggest you go
Back to your quarters.
493
00:30:09,975 --> 00:30:12,175
You can ride with
Me, mr. Banning.
494
00:30:14,613 --> 00:30:16,546
Thanks. I owe you one.
495
00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:20,995
I believe you left miss larson
In the middle of a conversation.
496
00:30:21,019 --> 00:30:24,219
Perhaps you should explain
To her why you stopped writing.
497
00:30:29,461 --> 00:30:31,439
It's terrible. You better
Do something quick.
498
00:30:31,463 --> 00:30:32,941
About what, tammy?
What happened?
499
00:30:32,965 --> 00:30:35,176
We were out on a boat
Ride with danny baker,
500
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:36,644
And the engine conked out.
501
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:38,546
We swam ashore,
But danny can't swim,
502
00:30:38,570 --> 00:30:40,381
And he's stuck out in the bay.
503
00:30:40,405 --> 00:30:41,983
But he's got a
Show to do tonight.
504
00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:44,018
No way.
505
00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:46,488
Uh, well, there is
Only one answer.
506
00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:48,623
Instead of just a
Guest appearance,
507
00:30:48,647 --> 00:30:52,326
You will have to go on in
Mr. Baker's place as emcee tonight.
508
00:30:52,350 --> 00:30:53,327
Me?
509
00:30:53,351 --> 00:30:54,328
Yes.
510
00:30:54,352 --> 00:30:55,497
Tonight?
511
00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:56,664
Yes.
512
00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:59,634
I can't do that. Oh,
Well, of course you can.
513
00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:02,036
You can use the material
That you wrote for danny.
514
00:31:02,060 --> 00:31:04,472
Certainly. I will make
An announcement
515
00:31:04,496 --> 00:31:06,307
And then call you
At the proper moment.
516
00:31:06,331 --> 00:31:07,609
Mr. Roarke...
517
00:31:07,633 --> 00:31:12,135
Oh, and, mr. Burton,
Break a leg.
518
00:31:14,773 --> 00:31:16,250
"Break a leg"?
519
00:31:16,274 --> 00:31:19,387
Yeah. That means, uh,
Good luck in show business,
520
00:31:19,411 --> 00:31:21,411
And, boy, am I gonna need it.
521
00:31:33,525 --> 00:31:35,803
What brings you back?
522
00:31:35,827 --> 00:31:37,872
Well, I got caught.
523
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:40,708
I just thought you had a
Right to know the truth.
524
00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:43,700
It doesn't matter. Yes, it does.
525
00:31:45,336 --> 00:31:47,882
I had a hassle with one of
The guards back in the prison.
526
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,417
He had it in for me, see?
527
00:31:49,441 --> 00:31:52,921
Tried to do me in with his club.
528
00:31:52,945 --> 00:31:54,656
He's the one that got done-in.
529
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,960
Anyway, he told the brass,
Of course, that I started it,
530
00:31:58,984 --> 00:32:02,096
So they denied me parole and
Gave me another three years.
531
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:03,865
What's that got to do with me?
532
00:32:03,889 --> 00:32:05,600
It's got everything
To do with you.
533
00:32:05,624 --> 00:32:07,334
You're a good girl,
And I didn't want you
534
00:32:07,358 --> 00:32:09,437
To sit around for three years
Waiting for those dumb letters.
535
00:32:09,461 --> 00:32:11,706
Dumb letters?
536
00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:13,541
I'll tell you about
Those letters.
537
00:32:13,565 --> 00:32:18,145
I was lying in bed, rotting away, waiting
To die, when that first letter arrived.
538
00:32:18,169 --> 00:32:20,882
Do I look like I'm lying in
Bed waiting to die right now?
539
00:32:20,906 --> 00:32:23,618
No. No but nothing.
540
00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:27,221
What was it you said when you were writing
All those positive things for the censors?
541
00:32:27,245 --> 00:32:29,791
"No one should give
Up, play it straight,
542
00:32:29,815 --> 00:32:33,160
Find out where you fit
And keep reaching higher."
543
00:32:33,184 --> 00:32:34,696
Well, maybe you didn't
Believe that stuff,
544
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:36,019
But you sure convinced me.
545
00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:50,277
What are you trying
To do, drown yourself?
546
00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:53,481
Let go of me! It's those
Dumb letters you wrote
547
00:32:53,505 --> 00:32:55,972
That gave me the
Idea to get in the pool.
548
00:33:21,099 --> 00:33:23,266
No, no. No, I can do it.
549
00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:37,313
Well, you're a good swimmer.
550
00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:41,295
Those dumb letters
Had reason and purpose.
551
00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:45,432
You know, I fantasized long
Before I came to this island
552
00:33:45,456 --> 00:33:46,801
About you and me
553
00:33:46,825 --> 00:33:50,404
I even thought that maybe my
Legs wouldn't matter to you.
554
00:33:50,428 --> 00:33:53,474
Was that dumb? No, it wasn't.
555
00:33:53,498 --> 00:33:56,711
Don't move. Stay there.
556
00:33:56,735 --> 00:33:59,313
What are you doing?
557
00:33:59,337 --> 00:34:02,383
I'm good in the water.
I fit in the water.
558
00:34:02,407 --> 00:34:07,088
But you said, "Keep reaching
Higher. Don't let anyone limit you."
559
00:34:07,112 --> 00:34:10,091
You said you'd hang in there
560
00:34:10,115 --> 00:34:12,493
And keep trying.
561
00:34:12,517 --> 00:34:15,697
You said, "With
Love in your heart
562
00:34:15,721 --> 00:34:19,567
And faith in your mind,
You can do anything."
563
00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:22,759
You see? You were right?
564
00:34:24,495 --> 00:34:27,742
It's not bad for a girl who
Was lying there waiting to die
565
00:34:27,766 --> 00:34:30,377
When a dumb letter
From a convict showed up.
566
00:34:32,237 --> 00:34:34,949
You know, it took
A beautiful man
567
00:34:34,973 --> 00:34:37,741
To write those
Thousands of words.
568
00:34:41,379 --> 00:34:44,013
I'm not going for it.
569
00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:46,928
You did it, not me.
570
00:34:46,952 --> 00:34:50,531
I'm no hero, and I'm no god.
571
00:34:50,555 --> 00:34:52,533
I don't want any credit,
572
00:34:52,557 --> 00:34:55,036
And I sure don't want
Any responsibility for you.
573
00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:57,026
So just forget it.
574
00:34:58,529 --> 00:35:00,830
Mike?
575
00:35:12,043 --> 00:35:16,746
Let us give a fantastic
Welcome to mr. Freddy weller.
576
00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:25,321
♪♪
577
00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:36,243
♪ I wanna go to fantasy island ♪
578
00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:38,245
♪ fantasy island ♪
579
00:35:38,269 --> 00:35:41,938
♪ and let my desires run free ♪
580
00:35:44,977 --> 00:35:49,023
♪ I wanna go where
There's nothing but fun ♪
581
00:35:49,047 --> 00:35:54,618
♪ and I can become someone
I've always wanted to be ♪
582
00:35:57,122 --> 00:36:02,069
♪ I see me now on
Fantasy island ♪
583
00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:04,105
♪ fantasy island ♪
584
00:36:04,129 --> 00:36:07,375
♪ where everyone's
Smiling with me ♪
585
00:36:10,502 --> 00:36:12,780
♪ with someone to fan me ♪
586
00:36:12,804 --> 00:36:14,616
♪ and someone to hand me ♪
587
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,851
♪ a drink when I want it ♪
588
00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:21,322
♪ as I lay beneath
The coconut tree ♪
589
00:36:21,346 --> 00:36:23,057
Maybe danny...
590
00:36:23,081 --> 00:36:26,427
Maybe danny will show up...
591
00:36:26,451 --> 00:36:30,665
Maybe danny will get back in
Time, and I won't have to go on.
592
00:36:30,689 --> 00:36:33,935
Come on now. You're
Gonna be great.
593
00:36:33,959 --> 00:36:36,660
Now shh.
594
00:36:38,897 --> 00:36:43,633
♪ let's take a trip
To fantasy island ♪
595
00:36:53,278 --> 00:36:54,756
Thank you so much, mr. Weller.
596
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:56,758
You see, I promised
You a pleasant surprise.
597
00:36:56,782 --> 00:36:59,994
And now, to kick off
Our amateur contest,
598
00:37:00,018 --> 00:37:02,664
Your master of ceremonies
For the evening is a young man
599
00:37:02,688 --> 00:37:06,167
Who will be making his own
Comedy debut on our stage.
600
00:37:06,191 --> 00:37:08,436
I think you'll find
Him most amusing.
601
00:37:08,460 --> 00:37:10,605
It gives me great pleasure,
Ladies and gentlemen,
602
00:37:10,629 --> 00:37:12,807
To present to you
Mr. Jerry burton.
603
00:37:12,831 --> 00:37:14,191
♪♪
604
00:37:15,701 --> 00:37:17,478
Thank you. Thank you very much.
605
00:37:17,502 --> 00:37:19,380
Thank you, mr. Roarke,
And thanks to all of you.
606
00:37:19,404 --> 00:37:22,416
I'd just like to say right at the
Outset what a tremendous thrill it is
607
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,053
To be working in a classy
Place like fantasy island,
608
00:37:25,077 --> 00:37:27,689
Because most of the joints
I work in are very tough.
609
00:37:27,713 --> 00:37:29,123
And I'm talking tough here.
610
00:37:29,147 --> 00:37:31,392
I mean, I worked in a
Place that was so tough,
611
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:34,095
The doorman used to shove
You through the mail slot.
612
00:37:34,119 --> 00:37:36,898
Just like... Like that.
613
00:37:36,922 --> 00:37:39,433
And, uh, this place was tough. I
Said to the bartender in this place...
614
00:37:39,457 --> 00:37:41,769
I said, "Hey, I'm looking
For a very cold martini."
615
00:37:41,793 --> 00:37:43,793
He showed me a dead
Italian in a meat locker.
616
00:37:45,831 --> 00:37:47,742
Freezer! Excuse me.
It was in a freezer.
617
00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:50,111
It wasn't in the meat
Locker there, and, uh...
618
00:37:50,135 --> 00:37:52,814
The food in this place...
Tough food. Tough.
619
00:37:52,838 --> 00:37:55,138
They had a thing there
That they call, um...
620
00:37:57,275 --> 00:38:00,154
They call it a
Do-it-yourself ham sandwich.
621
00:38:00,178 --> 00:38:02,790
Loaf of bread and a live pig.
622
00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:04,659
Or a loaf of pig
And a live bread.
623
00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:07,829
I don't remember
Which one, but, uh...
624
00:38:07,853 --> 00:38:09,597
I found a fly in my
Soup at this place.
625
00:38:09,621 --> 00:38:12,388
Had cement around its feet.
626
00:38:14,993 --> 00:38:17,238
Or asphalt.
627
00:38:17,262 --> 00:38:18,773
But this is tough.
628
00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:21,308
I mean, it's not
As tough as this.
629
00:38:21,332 --> 00:38:25,279
But, ladies and gentlemen, the first
Contestant on the amateur night bill.
630
00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:29,316
He is the one man on fantasy
Island with a one-man band.
631
00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:30,606
Come on out here, don.
632
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:42,329
♪ rock it, roll it, we're
Gonna rock it everywhere ♪
633
00:38:42,353 --> 00:38:43,831
You were wonderful.
634
00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:45,533
Oh, sure. They loved me.
635
00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:47,334
That's why they didn't laugh.
636
00:38:47,358 --> 00:38:49,336
Mary, I... I can't get to them.
637
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:50,838
I'm not funny.
638
00:38:50,862 --> 00:38:53,174
Not the way danny is.
639
00:38:53,198 --> 00:38:55,231
There is only one danny baker.
640
00:38:56,868 --> 00:38:59,881
But there is also
Only one jerry burton.
641
00:38:59,905 --> 00:39:03,951
Don't try to do your material
The way danny would do it.
642
00:39:03,975 --> 00:39:05,452
Be yourself.
643
00:39:05,476 --> 00:39:09,023
♪ rock and roll, rock and roll ♪
644
00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:11,525
♪ rock it, roll it ♪
645
00:39:11,549 --> 00:39:14,595
♪ we're gonna roll
It everywhere ♪
646
00:39:14,619 --> 00:39:16,998
♪ rock and roll, rock and roll ♪
647
00:39:17,022 --> 00:39:19,488
♪ rock it, roll
It, rock and roll ♪
648
00:39:20,959 --> 00:39:22,859
♪♪
649
00:39:26,497 --> 00:39:28,743
Boss, danny baker is back.
650
00:39:28,767 --> 00:39:30,433
He's gonna kill jerry.
651
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,952
Thank you, don. What's this?
652
00:39:37,976 --> 00:39:40,487
Looks like a knockwurst wrapped
In a french flag. Who needs it?
653
00:39:42,948 --> 00:39:46,327
Hey, listen, folks. You know,
Don is not a professional musician.
654
00:39:46,351 --> 00:39:48,696
He is actually a v.I.P...
Very important person.
655
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:51,398
He's got 5,000 people under him.
656
00:39:51,422 --> 00:39:53,256
Mows lawns in a cemetery.
657
00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:03,945
Um, you all know mr. Tattoo.
658
00:40:03,969 --> 00:40:07,014
He's a wonderful
Guy. So is mr. Roarke.
659
00:40:07,038 --> 00:40:08,872
They gave me a big
Opportunity here tonight...
660
00:40:10,776 --> 00:40:13,888
And I'm blowing it.
661
00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:16,279
I'm... I'm sorry.
662
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:24,232
Hey, burton, do you know you
Happen to be my favorite comedian?
663
00:40:24,256 --> 00:40:26,600
Danny, is that you?
664
00:40:26,624 --> 00:40:28,369
No, it's fidel castro,
665
00:40:28,393 --> 00:40:30,638
But since I shaved,
Nobody knows me.
666
00:40:30,662 --> 00:40:32,774
Of course it's me,
Silly, in the flesh.
667
00:40:32,798 --> 00:40:35,743
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Danny baker.
668
00:40:44,676 --> 00:40:47,688
Well, I don't care
About anything.
669
00:40:47,712 --> 00:40:49,190
I think you're hilarious.
670
00:40:49,214 --> 00:40:52,794
As a matter of fact, I was
Gonna send you a fan letter.
671
00:40:52,818 --> 00:40:55,029
Why couldn't you
Send me a fan letter?
672
00:40:55,053 --> 00:40:57,098
Well, I didn't know
How to spell...
673
00:40:58,690 --> 00:41:01,102
Listen, danny, I'm not gonna
Get into a battle of wits with you.
674
00:41:01,126 --> 00:41:03,671
Yeah, why not? Because I
Never fight an unarmed man.
675
00:41:05,197 --> 00:41:10,011
But seriously, folks, you have
To admire a man like danny baker.
676
00:41:10,035 --> 00:41:13,347
He has probably the finest
Comedy mind in the world.
677
00:41:13,371 --> 00:41:15,983
That's true. Unfortunately,
It happens to be in my head.
678
00:41:16,007 --> 00:41:18,686
Hey, danny, come
On. Isn't that true?
679
00:41:18,710 --> 00:41:20,922
Haven't I written all your
Lines for the last eight years?
680
00:41:20,946 --> 00:41:22,924
Well, I can't answer
That right now.
681
00:41:22,948 --> 00:41:25,726
Why not? Because you
Didn't give me anything to say.
682
00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:27,829
But I don't need a
Writer to say this, kid,
683
00:41:27,853 --> 00:41:30,064
And this comes
Right from the gut.
684
00:41:30,088 --> 00:41:32,099
You make me sick.
685
00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:35,036
But seriously, jerry, why
Don't you tell the folks
686
00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:37,038
What you really and
Truly think of me, huh?
687
00:41:37,062 --> 00:41:38,539
I'd be glad to, danny.
688
00:41:38,563 --> 00:41:41,642
I always look upon you
As my melancholy baby.
689
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:43,377
Your melancholy baby.
690
00:41:43,401 --> 00:41:46,736
Head like a melon,
Face like a collie.
691
00:41:48,673 --> 00:41:50,784
Hey, look, I'm
Making them laugh.
692
00:41:50,808 --> 00:41:54,055
No, we're making them laugh, together,
And we'll go on doing it this way.
693
00:41:54,079 --> 00:41:56,490
This is great. Hey, how
About this fantasy island?
694
00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,425
Is this some terrific
Island? Some...
695
00:41:58,449 --> 00:42:01,295
And what about this
Hotel? What a hotel.
696
00:42:01,319 --> 00:42:03,630
Listen, I wouldn't want to say
The bellboys are tip-hungry,
697
00:42:03,654 --> 00:42:06,667
But when I ordered a deck
Of cards, they made 52 trips.
698
00:42:06,691 --> 00:42:08,702
52 trips!
699
00:42:08,726 --> 00:42:11,272
And the rooms. You believe
How small these rooms are?
700
00:42:11,296 --> 00:42:14,275
Small rooms. My
Room is so small.
701
00:42:14,299 --> 00:42:16,143
How small is your room?
702
00:42:16,167 --> 00:42:18,946
My room is so small,
When you get into bed,
703
00:42:18,970 --> 00:42:21,048
The doorknob gets
In there with you.
704
00:42:21,072 --> 00:42:24,151
And you gotta go out in the
Hallway to change your mind.
705
00:42:24,175 --> 00:42:27,855
Right. My room is so small,
Even the mice are hunchbacked.
706
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,678
Terrific!
707
00:43:04,282 --> 00:43:06,215
I was hoping you'd come.
708
00:43:08,386 --> 00:43:11,565
There's something
I have to tell you.
709
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,522
Your letters did me good too.
710
00:43:17,162 --> 00:43:21,008
I've been bad since
The day I was born.
711
00:43:21,032 --> 00:43:23,710
And after you, I started
To straighten my act out.
712
00:43:23,734 --> 00:43:25,879
I stopped taking
Things from guys.
713
00:43:25,903 --> 00:43:27,881
I stopped intimidating people.
714
00:43:27,905 --> 00:43:29,850
I was what you'd
Call a model prisoner
715
00:43:29,874 --> 00:43:32,086
Until that guard
Gave me that hassle.
716
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:34,188
What happened back
At the swimming pool?
717
00:43:34,212 --> 00:43:35,889
Why'd you leave me?
718
00:43:35,913 --> 00:43:38,059
You just scared me.
719
00:43:38,083 --> 00:43:39,293
How?
720
00:43:39,317 --> 00:43:42,330
Well, you thought I
Did something great,
721
00:43:42,354 --> 00:43:43,998
And I didn't.
722
00:43:44,022 --> 00:43:46,968
I'm not always
Faith-filled and strong,
723
00:43:46,992 --> 00:43:50,471
And I can get weak, scared.
724
00:43:50,495 --> 00:43:53,307
You started to depend on me.
725
00:43:53,331 --> 00:43:55,642
I was afraid one
Day you'd turn to me,
726
00:43:55,666 --> 00:43:58,501
And I couldn't deliver
When you needed me most.
727
00:43:59,971 --> 00:44:03,150
I needed you when you
Wrote that first letter,
728
00:44:03,174 --> 00:44:06,709
And I needed you desperately when
You walked in here and sat down.
729
00:44:09,947 --> 00:44:12,059
You've always delivered
When I needed you.
730
00:44:12,083 --> 00:44:15,329
Yeah, but don't
You see? All that...
731
00:44:15,353 --> 00:44:19,233
That faith stuff and reaching
High and all that... That's...
732
00:44:19,257 --> 00:44:21,502
That came from inside
Of me after I knew you.
733
00:44:21,526 --> 00:44:24,571
Don't you realize why
I stopped writing you?
734
00:44:24,595 --> 00:44:27,130
'cause I was falling
In love with you.
735
00:44:30,235 --> 00:44:34,081
Those are the nicest
Words I've ever heard.
736
00:44:34,105 --> 00:44:35,971
I love you too.
737
00:44:37,442 --> 00:44:39,375
We don't have much of a chance.
738
00:44:41,112 --> 00:44:43,157
Don't we?
739
00:44:43,181 --> 00:44:45,859
A year ago, you didn't
Care about anybody,
740
00:44:45,883 --> 00:44:48,162
And I was a cripple.
741
00:44:48,186 --> 00:44:50,231
Now you tell me you love me,
742
00:44:50,255 --> 00:44:52,500
And I've taken a
Couple of steps.
743
00:44:52,524 --> 00:44:55,691
I'd say together
We've done a great job.
744
00:44:56,761 --> 00:44:58,739
Do you...
745
00:44:58,763 --> 00:45:01,130
Do you have any idea
How much I love you?
746
00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:05,212
How afraid I am of losing you?
747
00:45:05,236 --> 00:45:07,381
Are you afraid
Right this minute?
748
00:45:07,405 --> 00:45:09,272
No.
749
00:45:10,675 --> 00:45:13,287
Neither am I.
750
00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:16,090
Can you imagine what we'll do
When there's no mailman in the middle?
751
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:31,772
I want to thank you, mr. Roarke.
752
00:45:31,796 --> 00:45:33,607
Three years should
Go by pretty fast
753
00:45:33,631 --> 00:45:35,442
As long as she's waiting for me.
754
00:45:35,466 --> 00:45:37,711
Oh, you may not have
To wait three years.
755
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:40,781
Information has come to light
That the guard was responsible
756
00:45:40,805 --> 00:45:43,384
For the incident that
Prevented your parole,
757
00:45:43,408 --> 00:45:45,386
And they've sent another
Marshal from japan
758
00:45:45,410 --> 00:45:48,811
To take you back for
A new parole hearing.
759
00:45:51,682 --> 00:45:53,849
No more mailman.
760
00:46:07,898 --> 00:46:10,777
Well, I learned a great
Lesson, mr. Roarke.
761
00:46:10,801 --> 00:46:12,980
Never let tattoo
Set up your boat trips.
762
00:46:13,004 --> 00:46:15,249
You might not make
It back to shore.
763
00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:17,584
But I'm really glad
It happened, though.
764
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:20,587
It made me realize that
Jerry was more than just a kid,
765
00:46:20,611 --> 00:46:23,590
And if I'd let him go when
His contract ran out,
766
00:46:23,614 --> 00:46:26,961
I'd be losing the
Best part of my act.
767
00:46:26,985 --> 00:46:28,329
Good-bye, mr. Roarke.
768
00:46:28,353 --> 00:46:30,664
Good-bye, mr. Baker.
769
00:46:30,688 --> 00:46:32,866
Good-bye, mr. Roarke.
Thanks for me too.
770
00:46:32,890 --> 00:46:34,368
Oh, a pleasure, mr. Burton.
771
00:46:34,392 --> 00:46:36,325
Bye-bye. Good-bye.
772
00:46:45,336 --> 00:46:48,915
And thanks for making
My fantasy come true too.
773
00:46:48,939 --> 00:46:52,139
I guess I've been in love
With jerry since high school.
774
00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:07,968
too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral ♪
775
00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:13,507
♪ too-ra-loo-ra-li ♪
776
00:47:13,531 --> 00:47:19,846
♪ too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral ♪
777
00:47:19,870 --> 00:47:27,121
♪ hush, now don't you cry ♪
778
00:47:27,145 --> 00:47:29,289
Hey, boss, how do you like it?
779
00:47:29,313 --> 00:47:32,726
Amazing. Tattoo, I take it back.
780
00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:37,231
That is the best bing crosby
Impersonation I have ever heard.
781
00:47:37,255 --> 00:47:39,536
Please sing some
More. Please, please.
782
00:47:41,725 --> 00:47:45,539
♪ over in killarney ♪
783
00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:49,843
♪ many years ago ♪
784
00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:54,581
♪ my mother sang a song to me ♪
785
00:47:54,605 --> 00:48:00,354
♪ in tones so soft and low ♪
786
00:48:00,378 --> 00:48:03,023
and low ♪ ♪ and low ♪
787
00:48:03,047 --> 00:48:06,293
♪ and low ♪
♪ and low ♪
788
00:48:06,317 --> 00:48:08,695
♪ and low ♪
789
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,631
♪ and low ♪
♪ and low ♪
790
00:48:11,655 --> 00:48:14,368
♪ and low ♪
♪ and low ♪
791
00:48:14,392 --> 00:48:16,703
♪ and low ♪
♪ and low ♪
792
00:48:16,727 --> 00:48:19,706
♪ and low ♪
793
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:22,976
♪ and low ♪
794
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,079
♪ and low ♪
795
00:48:25,103 --> 00:48:26,846
♪ and low ♪
796
00:48:37,381 --> 00:48:40,341
Closed-captioned by j.R.
Media services, inc. Burbank, ca
60350
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