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1
00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:26,942
Tyler Wiley, you like me, right?
2
00:00:26,976 --> 00:00:30,445
It doesn't matter.
Just listen to your body, girl.
3
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:35,617
Yes, listen to your body, Becky.
We can all hear it.
4
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,729
Sir, there's a meteor headed
straight for Langley Falls!
5
00:00:47,764 --> 00:00:50,499
Take it easy, Joeson.
It's probably nothing.
6
00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:52,768
Also, we're running low
on dot matrix ink,
7
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:57,113
- and no one sells it anymore.
- Noooo!
8
00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:03,679
Daddy, please don't leave.
9
00:01:03,713 --> 00:01:06,982
Son, I'm just going to the store
to get some cigarettes.
10
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:25,300
No. Your son needs you.
End the cycle.
11
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,758
Well, this is strange.
12
00:01:49,792 --> 00:01:54,096
This is the nighttime, a time we
don't normally receive visitors.
13
00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:56,531
Hey, Mr. S.
I'm home.
14
00:01:56,566 --> 00:01:58,367
Jeff's back.
15
00:01:58,401 --> 00:02:00,869
Francine, honey,
can you bring me my gun?
16
00:02:00,904 --> 00:02:03,505
- Jeff, don't go anywhere.
- Okay.
17
00:02:06,009 --> 00:02:08,744
# Good morning, U.S.A. #
18
00:02:08,778 --> 00:02:12,614
# I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day #
19
00:02:12,649 --> 00:02:15,751
# The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face #
20
00:02:15,785 --> 00:02:20,022
# And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race #
21
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:25,360
# Oh, boy, it's swell to say #
22
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,830
# Good morning, U.S.A. #
23
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:33,302
# Good morning, U.S.A. #
24
00:02:33,536 --> 00:02:36,238
Hey, mister.
How was space?
25
00:02:36,272 --> 00:02:39,808
- Vast.
- Hayley, your husband's back.
26
00:02:39,843 --> 00:02:43,746
Oh, she's gonna be so excited.
Oh, here's your gun, honey.
27
00:02:43,780 --> 00:02:46,782
Jeff!
You're finally home!
28
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,486
Oh, I missed you so much!
29
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,554
Oh, your hat stinks so good.
30
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:55,624
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah,
mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
31
00:02:55,658 --> 00:02:58,193
Hayley, cover your ears.
Daddy's gonna make a bang.
32
00:02:58,228 --> 00:03:00,462
- Dad, what are you doing?
- I'm sorry, Hayley.
33
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:02,264
I know you're excited Jeff's back.
34
00:03:02,298 --> 00:03:04,166
But he knows that Roger's an alien,
35
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,535
and he can't stop himself
from telling everyone.
36
00:03:06,569 --> 00:03:08,470
So he has to die.
Mom, do something.
37
00:03:08,505 --> 00:03:11,673
- You know how your father gets.
- Before you kill me, mr. S.,
38
00:03:11,708 --> 00:03:13,509
I want you to know
that I've changed.
39
00:03:13,543 --> 00:03:16,211
In space, all you have
is time to think about
40
00:03:16,246 --> 00:03:18,413
what you'd do different
in your life.
41
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,582
That and what you would
call the offspring
42
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,552
- of a labradoodle and a cheagle.
- Chalabradeagle. Easy.
43
00:03:23,586 --> 00:03:25,621
I won't say anything.
I promise.
44
00:03:25,655 --> 00:03:27,222
Dad, you have to
give him a chance.
45
00:03:27,257 --> 00:03:30,859
Oh, Mr. S. I got you
something while I was in space.
46
00:03:30,894 --> 00:03:34,963
You can open it now
or after you kill me.
47
00:03:34,998 --> 00:03:37,833
- It reminded me of you.
- Ha! You don't know me.
48
00:03:37,867 --> 00:03:41,303
It's a souvenir from
the Haverglack galaxy.
49
00:03:41,337 --> 00:03:44,807
It's like a clock,
except it makes fart noises.
50
00:03:46,743 --> 00:03:48,510
This is amazing!
51
00:03:48,545 --> 00:03:50,813
I'm gonna set an alarm
for tomorrow morning!
52
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,751
Ha ha!
That last one was me!
53
00:03:55,785 --> 00:03:57,019
'Sup?
54
00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:02,457
I know that guy.
55
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,893
Is that the guy
who works at Panera Bread?
56
00:04:04,928 --> 00:04:06,829
No, no.
That guy died.
57
00:04:06,863 --> 00:04:08,831
Oh, wait. That's Jeff!
58
00:04:08,865 --> 00:04:12,701
I sent him into space.
I wonder if he remembers that.
59
00:04:12,735 --> 00:04:14,937
God, I could go for a panera.
60
00:04:14,971 --> 00:04:19,675
Oh, "Kate & Leopold."
Hi, Jeff.
61
00:04:24,406 --> 00:04:27,215
I still can't belive you're back.
62
00:04:27,216 --> 00:04:30,818
I feel like when you left,
my whole life got put on pause.
63
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,887
A-And now I get to un-pause it.
64
00:04:32,921 --> 00:04:35,189
And I'd like to start by smoking a bowl
65
00:04:35,224 --> 00:04:38,059
and un-pausing
"Transformers: Dark of the Moon,"
66
00:04:38,093 --> 00:04:40,127
the movie we paused
right before you left
67
00:04:40,162 --> 00:04:41,929
and our lives were put on pause.
68
00:04:43,512 --> 00:04:45,713
I'd love to catch up
with Bumblebee and the gang,
69
00:04:45,748 --> 00:04:47,615
but I don't smoke anymore.
70
00:04:47,650 --> 00:04:49,751
What?
Wait, I'm sorry. Huh?
71
00:04:49,785 --> 00:04:52,487
Look, Hayley.
I meant what I told your family.
72
00:04:52,521 --> 00:04:55,490
- I wanna be a better man.
- But pot's basically legal.
73
00:04:55,524 --> 00:04:58,926
Prop 87 said cops have to be
super-chill about it now.
74
00:04:58,961 --> 00:05:02,130
Ooh, I know.
How about a little mood music?
75
00:05:03,866 --> 00:05:08,870
- Oh, god. What is this?
- It's your favorite jam band ... Fish.
76
00:05:08,904 --> 00:05:12,373
I-I can't make out to this.
There's no song structure.
77
00:05:12,408 --> 00:05:15,977
The drummer's just waiting for
the guitarist to do something.
78
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,513
Okay.
How about this song, then?
79
00:05:20,716 --> 00:05:22,717
Are we gonna [bleep] or what?
80
00:05:24,186 --> 00:05:27,188
Snot let me borrow his hamster
while he's at Jewish camp.
81
00:05:27,222 --> 00:05:29,524
I'm so excited to take care of him.
82
00:05:29,558 --> 00:05:31,693
For the hamster's sake,
I hope you do a better job
83
00:05:31,727 --> 00:05:33,828
of taking care of him
than you do of me.
84
00:05:33,862 --> 00:05:37,699
- You're not my pet, Klaus.
- Well, why not, Steve?! Why not?!
85
00:05:37,733 --> 00:05:40,501
Klaus wants a teenage boy
to take care of him?
86
00:05:40,536 --> 00:05:42,970
I guess you can take the brain
out of a German,
87
00:05:43,005 --> 00:05:45,606
but you can't take the German
out of a brain.
88
00:05:46,842 --> 00:05:48,710
Ooh, Jeff.
Burning Klaus.
89
00:05:48,744 --> 00:05:51,079
I hope you like your fish blackened.
90
00:05:51,113 --> 00:05:53,614
I told you space changed me.
It opened my eyes.
91
00:05:53,649 --> 00:05:55,750
And one of the things
I realized up there
92
00:05:55,784 --> 00:05:57,685
was what a great role model you are.
93
00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,187
- Me?
- Him?
94
00:05:59,221 --> 00:06:01,422
You have a job,
you provide for your family,
95
00:06:01,457 --> 00:06:03,191
you're a productive member of society.
96
00:06:03,225 --> 00:06:05,193
Wow.
You really know your stuff.
97
00:06:05,227 --> 00:06:07,729
I was hoping you could help me
learn to be a real man,
98
00:06:07,763 --> 00:06:10,732
- Mr. S., like you.
- Jeff, can I just say
99
00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:12,433
I am loving the new you.
100
00:06:12,468 --> 00:06:15,737
And I would love to take the new
you to the new Fro-Yo place
101
00:06:15,771 --> 00:06:18,106
that opened right after
Roger threw you into space.
102
00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:20,208
Look at that.
I made Jeff better.
103
00:06:20,242 --> 00:06:23,711
I guess that's just what Roger
does, makes things better.
104
00:06:23,746 --> 00:06:26,514
This is mine. I brought this.
105
00:06:26,548 --> 00:06:28,916
Dad, can I go with you?
I love that place.
106
00:06:28,951 --> 00:06:31,586
Sorry, Steve. Three people
make for a weird dynamic.
107
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,521
Two people always turn against one.
108
00:06:33,555 --> 00:06:35,223
- But, dad ...
- You'd be the one, Steve.
109
00:06:35,257 --> 00:06:38,960
- Look, it's already happening. Jeff?
- I'd love to go.
110
00:06:38,994 --> 00:06:43,192
I just have to go upstairs
to, um, take care of something.
111
00:06:43,532 --> 00:06:46,000
Does Jeff seem a little weird
to you guys since he got back?
112
00:06:46,034 --> 00:06:47,935
Like, a little different?
113
00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:50,238
- Hell yeah! He's better.
- Way better.
114
00:06:50,272 --> 00:06:53,040
If I were you, Hayley,
I'd lock that down.
115
00:06:53,075 --> 00:06:56,844
- Mom, we're already married.
- I mean lock it down for real.
116
00:06:56,879 --> 00:07:01,649
Rings catch girls.
Babies trap boys.
117
00:07:05,521 --> 00:07:07,021
Zebleer to mother ship.
118
00:07:07,055 --> 00:07:10,625
Greetings, Zebleer.
Please update mission status.
119
00:07:10,659 --> 00:07:13,694
The mission continues
as planned, brother.
120
00:07:13,729 --> 00:07:16,664
The simpleminded earthlings
suspect nothing.
121
00:07:16,698 --> 00:07:19,534
Good. Have you found
an acceptable specimen?
122
00:07:19,568 --> 00:07:21,736
Yes, an alpha male with a job ...
123
00:07:21,770 --> 00:07:25,907
the exact opposite of our first
earthling. I will earn his trust
124
00:07:25,941 --> 00:07:27,775
and then transport him
to the mother ship.
125
00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:30,878
Ever wonder why we don't
call it a father ship?
126
00:07:30,913 --> 00:07:32,530
Are you working on material
127
00:07:32,531 --> 00:07:35,583
for that stand-up thing
you invited us to?
128
00:07:35,617 --> 00:07:37,218
No. No, no, no, no.
129
00:07:37,252 --> 00:07:42,089
So, Andromedan pod monsters be shopping.
130
00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:49,140
I've initiated contact with
the host familly
131
00:07:49,141 --> 00:07:51,776
and have three Earth specimens
ready to Blorph.
132
00:07:51,811 --> 00:07:54,045
We are ready for your Blorph.
133
00:07:57,149 --> 00:07:59,384
First item is fork.
134
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:04,923
Next item is spoon.
135
00:08:07,293 --> 00:08:09,761
And now hamster.
136
00:08:12,064 --> 00:08:13,865
Oh, my god!
137
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:16,268
How could you send a living
animal through the Blorpher...
138
00:08:16,302 --> 00:08:19,371
without warning me he'd be so cute?!
139
00:08:19,405 --> 00:08:22,307
Excellent work, Zebleer.
Blorphs received.
140
00:08:22,341 --> 00:08:24,142
End transmission.
141
00:08:24,176 --> 00:08:26,350
"Blorph."
We have got to come up
142
00:08:26,385 --> 00:08:28,313
with a different name
for the Blorph machine.
143
00:08:28,347 --> 00:08:32,017
- I feel so stupid saying "Blorph."
- Well, you'll have to take that up
144
00:08:32,051 --> 00:08:35,120
with the inventor of the Blorph,
Dr. Blorph McBlorph-Blorph.
145
00:08:35,154 --> 00:08:36,988
Whoo!
146
00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:40,759
Aw, man. Nice slide!
You were going so fast.
147
00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:44,763
- Hey, babe, we'll be back soon.
- Okay, but real quick,
148
00:08:44,797 --> 00:08:47,132
why are you so eager
to hang out with my dad?
149
00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:48,800
- He's cool.
- Face!
150
00:08:48,834 --> 00:08:50,902
Has anyone seen Snot's hamster?
151
00:08:50,937 --> 00:08:53,238
No time to care about
your hamster, Steve.
152
00:08:53,272 --> 00:08:56,408
I'm taking Jeff to your
favorite Fro-Yo place.
153
00:09:00,346 --> 00:09:03,848
Okay, I know I should
be happy that Jeff's back,
154
00:09:03,883 --> 00:09:06,117
but something just doesn't feel right.
155
00:09:06,152 --> 00:09:08,186
You mean because he's an alien
who altered his appearance
156
00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,955
- to look like Jeff?
- What?!
157
00:09:09,989 --> 00:09:12,891
Oh, I thought we all knew and
we were just going along with it
158
00:09:12,925 --> 00:09:15,260
'cause he's so much better
than the actual Jeff.
159
00:09:15,294 --> 00:09:17,128
Did you guys really not know?!
160
00:09:17,163 --> 00:09:19,731
Oh!
Oh, that is so great.
161
00:09:19,765 --> 00:09:21,766
You're saying that's not Jeff?
162
00:09:21,801 --> 00:09:24,836
Oh, no. Honey, no.
That is definitely not Jeff.
163
00:09:24,870 --> 00:09:27,973
Only question is,
what is this alien doing here?
164
00:09:28,007 --> 00:09:30,442
We'll have to investigate.
Ooh! Detective time!
165
00:09:30,476 --> 00:09:32,210
Outfit change!
166
00:09:32,244 --> 00:09:34,813
Ooga-booga!
Me hate fire!
167
00:09:34,847 --> 00:09:38,283
Open your mind, Hayley.
Anyone can be a detective.
168
00:09:41,954 --> 00:09:43,788
Mm-mmm. Wow.
169
00:09:43,823 --> 00:09:47,158
This has got to be
the best thing on the planet.
170
00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:50,362
Oh, yeah, it's one of the finer
things a man can enjoy in life,
171
00:09:50,396 --> 00:09:52,230
like driving with your knees
172
00:09:52,264 --> 00:09:55,200
or shooting your name into an
old metal sign with a handgun.
173
00:09:55,234 --> 00:09:57,736
I never even shot a handgun.
174
00:09:58,393 --> 00:09:59,871
We're changing that.
175
00:09:59,905 --> 00:10:03,808
We're changing that right now.
But where?
176
00:10:08,948 --> 00:10:10,815
Okay, let's see how you did.
177
00:10:10,850 --> 00:10:12,751
"Zebleer"?
178
00:10:12,785 --> 00:10:15,120
No, doofus, you were
supposed to spell your name.
179
00:10:15,154 --> 00:10:17,956
- Oh, right. My name's Jeff.
- No problem, Jeff.
180
00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:19,391
You emptied the clip and hit the sign,
181
00:10:19,425 --> 00:10:21,426
which means your only problem
is spelling.
182
00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:24,496
Good thing that's easily fixable
with a second gun.
183
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:30,535
Well, you spelled "Zebleer" again.
184
00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:35,340
Okay, clues...
185
00:10:35,374 --> 00:10:37,909
- Oh! A Blorpher!
- What's that?
186
00:10:37,943 --> 00:10:40,311
Works kind of like a fax machine
but for solid objects.
187
00:10:40,346 --> 00:10:42,447
Humans would probably
have something like this
188
00:10:42,481 --> 00:10:44,582
if they hadn't abandoned
facsimile technology.
189
00:10:44,617 --> 00:10:46,951
I still have a fax machine,
but it's just so
190
00:10:46,986 --> 00:10:49,354
my commercial agent
can send me sides for auditions.
191
00:10:49,388 --> 00:10:52,057
Did I tell you I'm on hold for
a Langley Mutual commercial?
192
00:10:52,091 --> 00:10:54,259
Roger!
What does all this mean?
193
00:10:54,293 --> 00:10:56,961
It means it's between me
and like one other person.
194
00:10:56,996 --> 00:10:59,464
It's probably this guy ... Brad.
He books everything.
195
00:10:59,498 --> 00:11:01,332
No, the Blorpher! Jeff!
196
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:04,169
Oh, it means that the "Jeff"
who is with Stan
197
00:11:04,203 --> 00:11:07,072
is a species of alien called
the Collectors.
198
00:11:07,106 --> 00:11:09,174
They're kind of like
space's zookeepers.
199
00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:10,575
Then where's my Jeff?
200
00:11:10,609 --> 00:11:13,314
They probably have a research
ship in orbit. He'll be up there.
201
00:11:13,404 --> 00:11:15,313
A-And this machine
can get me to him?
202
00:11:15,347 --> 00:11:17,115
Look, if you go up there,
203
00:11:17,149 --> 00:11:19,050
- there's no guarantee you'll come back.
- I don't care.
204
00:11:19,085 --> 00:11:21,419
I'd rather die up there,
trying to get Jeff,
205
00:11:21,454 --> 00:11:24,849
- than stay down here without him.
- Okay.
206
00:11:26,225 --> 00:11:28,226
I think I'm finally
starting to understand
207
00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:29,894
what it feels like to be a man.
208
00:11:29,929 --> 00:11:32,030
Thanks again for showing me
how to shoot.
209
00:11:32,064 --> 00:11:34,532
Where I come from, we're
expected to figure everything
210
00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:37,001
- out on our own.
- Where you come from?
211
00:11:37,036 --> 00:11:38,903
Ha, you're from Langley, ya goofball.
212
00:11:38,938 --> 00:11:40,939
Man, you used to confuse
the hell out of me
213
00:11:40,973 --> 00:11:42,974
with your stupid jokes
I didn't understand.
214
00:11:43,008 --> 00:11:45,026
But since you've come
back, you are killing
215
00:11:45,027 --> 00:11:47,045
me with all these jokes
I don't understand.
216
00:11:47,079 --> 00:11:49,547
Smith.
217
00:11:49,582 --> 00:11:51,549
Ah, damn. We just went!
218
00:11:51,584 --> 00:11:53,551
Couple of my homeboys
from the C.I.A.
219
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:56,471
- are hitting up the Fro-Yo stand.
- What if we went back
220
00:11:56,472 --> 00:11:58,990
and got some more,
double dipped?
221
00:11:59,024 --> 00:12:02,060
I don't know what happened
to you out there in the
222
00:12:02,061 --> 00:12:05,096
frozen void of space, but you
came back a goddamn genius.
223
00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:10,068
Oh, god! Oh, god!
It hurts! Oh, god!
224
00:12:10,102 --> 00:12:13,404
Relax. All the pain immediately
stops on the other side.
225
00:12:13,439 --> 00:12:15,874
What are you doing?
You're coming with me!
226
00:12:15,908 --> 00:12:19,310
No, I'm not. Let go.
Hayley! Let go, Hayley!
227
00:12:19,345 --> 00:12:24,616
Yep, this is a deep pain ...
a very, very deep pain.
228
00:12:32,558 --> 00:12:35,560
The Blorph alert?
This is strange.
229
00:12:35,594 --> 00:12:39,631
This is the nighttime, a time we
don't normally receive Blorphs.
230
00:12:43,235 --> 00:12:47,238
Uh, um, mmm.
Oh, man. I'm out.
231
00:12:47,273 --> 00:12:49,541
No, you're not.
Hold out your cup.
232
00:12:52,378 --> 00:12:54,179
Fro-Yo bros!
233
00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:56,314
You would all share
your bounty with me?
234
00:12:56,348 --> 00:12:59,184
All we're doing is sacrificing
a little frozen yogurt
235
00:12:59,218 --> 00:13:01,506
- for our new best friend.
- Wow.
236
00:13:01,541 --> 00:13:04,522
Mankind has a surprising
proclivity for sacrifice.
237
00:13:04,557 --> 00:13:07,292
Why did you say "mankind" like that?
238
00:13:07,326 --> 00:13:09,194
Yeah. Nobody that's
part of mankind
239
00:13:09,228 --> 00:13:11,563
would ever say "mankind" like that.
240
00:13:11,597 --> 00:13:15,617
Uh, I guess I used to be
such a slacker that I'm still
241
00:13:15,618 --> 00:13:19,637
learning to speak like a cool,
responsible human like you guys.
242
00:13:42,561 --> 00:13:44,262
Not cool.
This is not cool.
243
00:13:44,296 --> 00:13:46,464
I'm on hold for Langley Mutual, Hayley.
244
00:13:46,498 --> 00:13:48,366
I'm not supposed to leave town.
245
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,401
God, they're gonna move on to Brad.
246
00:13:50,436 --> 00:13:53,204
Mother...
Ugh. Brad's gonna get it.
247
00:13:56,408 --> 00:14:00,678
So, no game plan?
Just gonna run through an alien ship?
248
00:14:02,514 --> 00:14:06,618
Did you know Jacques Cousteau
had a sex room just like this?
249
00:14:09,154 --> 00:14:11,022
Hayley!
Hayley Smith, right?
250
00:14:11,056 --> 00:14:13,458
Who are you,
and how do you know my name?
251
00:14:13,492 --> 00:14:16,261
You don't recognize Sinbad
from "Houseguest"?
252
00:14:16,295 --> 00:14:18,429
He beat Dennis Miller
on "Star Search."
253
00:14:18,464 --> 00:14:21,032
What are the schools
even teaching these days?
254
00:14:21,066 --> 00:14:23,301
Hayley, I recognize you
because I was with Jeff
255
00:14:23,335 --> 00:14:25,169
when we got caught
by these aliens.
256
00:14:25,204 --> 00:14:26,738
You were with Jeff?
Where is he?
257
00:14:26,772 --> 00:14:28,740
Oh, you are in luck.
He's right there.
258
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:36,207
Hmm. "You're in luck" may have
been a bad choice of words.
259
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:37,876
Oh, god. Jeff!
260
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:40,278
You know what I'm just
remembering right now?
261
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:43,081
When the collectors encounter
something new, they dissect it.
262
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:46,251
Can't believe I forgot that.
It's, like, their most famous thing.
263
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,253
That's why they're called
the Dissectors.
264
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,488
You said they were called
the Collectors.
265
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,191
Oh, they are now.
They used to be the Dissectors.
266
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:57,084
Did a bit of rebrand in the '80s.
Same people who did new Coke.
267
00:15:00,054 --> 00:15:04,146
Ah, look at this.
More species for our collection.
268
00:15:04,181 --> 00:15:07,505
- Seize them!
- Hayley, run!
269
00:15:12,765 --> 00:15:15,888
I looked everywhere for Snot's
hamster and I can't find it.
270
00:15:15,922 --> 00:15:19,124
Maybe it's time to focus
on the pet you can find.
271
00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:20,492
You know, in Germany,
272
00:15:20,527 --> 00:15:23,895
goldfish are considered
the hamsters of the sea.
273
00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:24,263
Hmm.
274
00:15:24,297 --> 00:15:27,533
I know you're lying,
but maybe you're right, Klaus.
275
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,338
Check it out! I'm taking small bites
276
00:15:32,339 --> 00:15:34,874
- to make it last longer.
- Me, too!
277
00:15:34,908 --> 00:15:36,108
Mmm.
278
00:15:36,142 --> 00:15:38,177
I'm pretending
I'm a little baby mouse.
279
00:15:38,211 --> 00:15:40,312
That's so smart!
280
00:15:42,449 --> 00:15:43,849
Uh-oh.
281
00:15:45,285 --> 00:15:48,320
Mr. S., I have to tell you something.
282
00:15:48,355 --> 00:15:51,924
There's a reason I'm so much
different from when I left Earth.
283
00:15:51,958 --> 00:15:54,159
I'm not actually Jeff.
284
00:15:54,194 --> 00:15:56,829
I'm not even human.
285
00:15:56,863 --> 00:16:00,299
- I'm following. Continue.
- My people came across the real Jeff
286
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:03,135
and the ghost of Sinbad
traveling the galaxy.
287
00:16:03,169 --> 00:16:07,006
- Uh-huh. Go on.
- My species are Collectors.
288
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,042
For eons,
we have traveled the universe
289
00:16:10,076 --> 00:16:11,560
trying to gather, collect,
290
00:16:11,561 --> 00:16:14,313
- and catalog what we find.
- Naturally.
291
00:16:14,347 --> 00:16:16,482
We had never encountered a human before,
292
00:16:16,516 --> 00:16:19,451
so it was decided that
I would travel back to Earth
293
00:16:19,486 --> 00:16:22,955
disguised as Jeff to collect
more information about humanity.
294
00:16:22,989 --> 00:16:26,542
- Well, you came to the right place.
- And Jeff told me everything
295
00:16:26,543 --> 00:16:28,027
I needed to know to blend in.
296
00:16:28,061 --> 00:16:30,596
So I came to Earth to live amongst you.
297
00:16:30,630 --> 00:16:33,832
I was supposed to bring you back
to the ship for dissection,
298
00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:36,135
- but I grew fond of you.
- Ditto.
299
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:38,137
But there's something
you should know.
300
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:41,540
- The real Jeff is dead.
- Good.
301
00:16:41,574 --> 00:16:43,337
Fingers crossed you feel the same way
302
00:16:43,338 --> 00:16:45,100
- about your daughter.
- What?!
303
00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:47,913
She went to rescue Jeff, and now
they're gonna dissect her, too.
304
00:16:47,948 --> 00:16:49,781
Get me to that ship!
305
00:16:55,595 --> 00:16:58,163
Something tells me
this isn't hair removal!
306
00:16:58,198 --> 00:17:01,533
What ... nothing?
I'm trying to keep it light here.
307
00:17:05,004 --> 00:17:07,973
- Stop right there!
- Dad!
308
00:17:08,007 --> 00:17:10,375
Brothers, we must stop the collection.
309
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:12,177
- Hubbub, hubbub.
- Peas and carrots, peas and carrots.
310
00:17:12,312 --> 00:17:13,745
- Hubbub, hubbub.
- Peas and carrots, peas and carrots.
311
00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:15,481
We can't kill her.
312
00:17:15,515 --> 00:17:18,183
- She's important to this man here.
- Hey there.
313
00:17:18,218 --> 00:17:20,252
And he's important to me
314
00:17:20,286 --> 00:17:23,122
because he taught me
what it is to be Human.
315
00:17:23,156 --> 00:17:24,623
They love. They laugh.
316
00:17:24,657 --> 00:17:28,760
They take prescription medication
to help them love and laugh.
317
00:17:28,795 --> 00:17:31,530
Humans may do all those
wonderful things,
318
00:17:31,564 --> 00:17:36,768
- But we must collect.
- Perhaps this will change your mind.
319
00:17:36,803 --> 00:17:41,540
It's called Fro-Yo, and
it's proof of mankind's value.
320
00:17:41,574 --> 00:17:44,676
This is delicious.
321
00:17:44,711 --> 00:17:49,114
In return for giving us
this savory cosmic treat,
322
00:17:49,149 --> 00:17:53,685
I will spare the lives of your
human and your alien sex slave.
323
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,156
Stan, what did you tell him?
324
00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:01,560
We did it!
I'm so glad everyone's okay.
325
00:18:01,594 --> 00:18:03,662
Not everyone.
326
00:18:08,134 --> 00:18:09,668
Hayley, don't be sad.
327
00:18:09,702 --> 00:18:13,105
Alien Jeff is gonna stay on Earth
and be the new Jeff.
328
00:18:13,139 --> 00:18:16,508
So you get Jeff back, and I get
to hang out with my new bud.
329
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:17,809
I don't want him.
330
00:18:17,844 --> 00:18:20,646
But I'm an exact replica
of the Jeff you lost.
331
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:24,316
You may be Jeff on the outside,
but you're not Jeff up here.
332
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,722
Look, Hayley,
I know how much you love Jeff,
333
00:18:26,756 --> 00:18:28,590
but there's no bringing him back.
334
00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:30,726
If there was a way,
I-I'd do it for you.
335
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,994
- Except there is a way.
- I won't do it for you.
336
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,696
I can't.
My hands are tied.
337
00:18:34,731 --> 00:18:37,632
I will have Jeff's brain
implanted in my head,
338
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:41,970
which means I will die,
but Jeff will live on in my body.
339
00:18:42,004 --> 00:18:43,472
You would do that?
340
00:18:43,506 --> 00:18:45,874
Back on Earth,
your dad and his friends
341
00:18:45,908 --> 00:18:48,944
made a sacrifice by giving me
their frozen yogurt,
342
00:18:48,978 --> 00:18:50,979
and now I will make a sacrifice
of my own!
343
00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:52,931
Whoa, whoa.
Let's slow down there.
344
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,968
- It was just a little Fro-Yo.
- No, the gestures are equal.
345
00:18:57,003 --> 00:19:00,772
The universe is in balance.
346
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:06,578
Thanks for watching my hamster
while I was away.
347
00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,747
- So, where is he?
- Right here.
348
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,083
And good news ...
I taught him to swim
349
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:14,686
and hold his breath
for the rest of his life.
350
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,857
I can't wait to tell you
about Jewish camp.
351
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:22,093
Wait. You came
back from Jewish camp?
352
00:19:28,714 --> 00:19:32,451
It'll feel so good to have
Jeff back ... the real Jeff.
353
00:19:32,485 --> 00:19:36,621
Oh, god!
I'll never forget you, alien Jeff!
354
00:19:36,656 --> 00:19:39,925
Actually, you will.
The Collectors said this ship is equipped
355
00:19:39,959 --> 00:19:42,361
with "Men in black" technology.
It was weird that they
356
00:19:42,362 --> 00:19:44,763
referred to it as
"Men in black" technology, right?
357
00:19:44,797 --> 00:19:46,698
Like, did they get the idea
from the movie
358
00:19:46,732 --> 00:19:48,400
and then set out to create it?
359
00:19:48,434 --> 00:19:50,669
And how did they see "Men in black"?
So many questions.
360
00:19:50,703 --> 00:19:52,871
Anyway, you won't remember
any of this, but I will.
361
00:19:52,905 --> 00:19:54,840
- How?
- I'm immune ... space stuff.
362
00:19:54,874 --> 00:19:56,608
So, a-after we leave the ship,
363
00:19:56,642 --> 00:20:00,111
- none us will know Jeff's an alien?
- Nope, not even Jeff.
364
00:20:00,146 --> 00:20:02,581
But what if he has, like,
a-a medical emergency
365
00:20:02,615 --> 00:20:05,250
- and we have to ...
- Why don't we just wait and see?
366
00:20:05,251 --> 00:20:06,051
Okay? Can we do that?
367
00:20:06,085 --> 00:20:08,153
Can we wait and see?
Why don't we just do that?
368
00:20:09,655 --> 00:20:13,391
- Babe? You found me!
- Jeff!
369
00:20:13,426 --> 00:20:16,828
- I love you!
- I love you, too, babe.
370
00:20:16,863 --> 00:20:18,997
And, babe, I did a lot
of thinking in space,
371
00:20:19,031 --> 00:20:21,066
and I decided that,
if we ever have a kid,
372
00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:23,034
I'm willing to be
a stay-at-home dad.
373
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,537
And you don't have to work, either.
374
00:20:25,571 --> 00:20:28,291
We can stay at your parents' house
and live off the government.
375
00:20:28,303 --> 00:20:30,742
- Oh, god.
- Oh, hey, Mr. S.
376
00:20:30,776 --> 00:20:33,211
Well, since no one's
gonna remember this...
377
00:20:33,246 --> 00:20:36,038
B-B-B-Body slam!
378
00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:39,534
We had a lot of fun here
on American Dad tonight
379
00:20:39,535 --> 00:20:41,636
but we also encountered
a lot of danger ...
380
00:20:41,671 --> 00:20:44,206
guns, dissection, meteors.
381
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,541
Really makes you think
that you should be prepared.
382
00:20:46,576 --> 00:20:50,312
Hi. I'm Brad for
Langley Mutual Life insurance.
383
00:20:50,346 --> 00:20:52,013
Maybe it's time to make sure
you're prepared
384
00:20:52,048 --> 00:20:56,099
if something bad happens.
I know I am.
385
00:20:56,319 --> 00:20:58,019
Langley Mutual!
386
00:20:58,054 --> 00:20:59,921
# Langley Mutual #
387
00:20:59,956 --> 00:21:02,147
# We don't cover floods #
388
00:21:02,325 --> 00:21:04,374
Bye! Have a beautifull day!
31511
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