All language subtitles for Bones (2005) - S04E15 - The Princess and the Pear (1080p x265 EDGE2020).eng

[ Boy ]
Lo, the cave where
the princess doth dwell.

[ Sighs ] Let
the light of Mythryleen
guide our path.

It smells like ass
in here, yo.Yo?

Who is this Yo
of whom you speak?
I know him not.

For real, Trev. Let's go back.
Those other freaks are gonna
beat us to the treasure anyway.

The name's Blackthorne,
and you'd do well
to remember it.

Your name is Trevor Vertuca,
and thatis your mom's
cell phone.

Now call her to pick us up,
or I will. This is getting old.

Right, Ezra?[ Screaming ]

- [ Trevor ]
A rat? Come on.
- Wait for me! Wait for me!

[ Rat Squeaking ] [ Trevor ]
Look, I'm sorry about this.

We don't usually
break character, but--

I mean, you have to dock points.
I understand. [ Sighs ]

- [ Groans ] What the--
- [ Squeaking ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Knocking ] [ Brennan ]
Open up!

All right! All right!
All right, I'm coming.

It's--
Just keep it down.

What's taking so long?

[ Knocking ]

Hi.What's wrong?

Nothing.
Come on in.

How about some coffee?
Arabian bean!

- You hurt your back again?
- No, no, no.

Yeah.
It's that obvious, huh?

Your gait suggests you
re-strained your anterior
longitudinal ligament.

Yeah, well, I blame the couch.
All right?

I fell asleep last night
watching the game.

Look, I figured you fixed
my back last time really well.

And I just thought that maybe
you could fix it again.

So use your little magic
knuckles and hit it up,
and we're good to go.

Booth, if this has
become a recurring problem,
you should see a specialist.

Right. I get it.
All disclaimers apply.
Here we go. Hit the back.

Chop-chop.
We got a case.No.

What do you mean no?
Last time I had this,
you were begging to help me.

No.
I probably shouldn't have
touched you the last time.

You need a medical doctor.I'm not asking you
to perform surgery.

Just do what you did
last time and fix it
with your magic knuckles, and--

Look, there's no one
I trust more...

to get my back
and crack it than you.

Hmm?Wow.

You want more?No. That was effective.
Turn around.

Oh!

Okay. Ready?Uh! Okay.

This is gonna be good.
Believe me. I really am
not going to forget--

[ Bones Cracking ]Mmm! Oh! This.

How is he?Dr. Patel suspects...

a herniated disk
in Booth's lumbar region.

We'll know which vertebrae
when the X-rays get here.

So you didn't actually
paralyze him?

No. The Vicodin
seems to be working.

He claims it makes
the furniture
feel friendly.

But he'll be on bed rest
for the remainder
of the week.

Are you okay?Of course.

I wasn't the one
who was injured.

Admittedly,
I shouldn't have let Booth
talk me into adjusting him.

- Agent Perotta.
- Dr. Brennan, nice to see you.

I was honored you requested me
as a substitute for Agent Booth.

The variables involved in
breaking in a new person
outweigh the benefit...

of possibly finding
a better investigator.Let's not get gushy about it.

Agent Perotta and I
inspected the dump site,

and I cleared the body
to be transported
back to the lab.

We haven't determined
identity yet.

Booth usually waits
for me to conduct my own
examination of the scene.

Do you want
to go back there?No.

Mr. Fisher, welcome back.
What are your
preliminary findings?

Victim is female,
25 to 29 years old.

Severe damage to the skull.
The mandible's almost
completely severed.

Avulsions to
the tissue at the maxillary
and mandibular incisors.

That's very unusual.

It's like her face was hit
by a wrecking ball.

This damage is going to make
facial reconstruction
very difficult.

Yeah.

The flesh is all yours,
Dr. Saroyan.

Does that mean we're officially
investigating a murder?

She's just upset
because she put Booth
in the hospital.

Well, I understand that. [ Device Beeps ]

But I still need someone
to officially say "murder."Murder.

Thank you.

So, what do we make
of this clothing?

Huh. Like a costume out of
The Lord of the Rings--
porno version.

- Fisher,
you're into this stuff.
- Porn?

- Fantasy, sci-fi, geek stuff.
- Superficial judgment.

Both feet display erythema
and heavy blistering...

but no calluses.

My guess is she was standing
in those princess pumps
for hours.

The skin here on the back
of the hand is less desiccated
than the area surrounding it.

I'm not sure
what that means yet.

May I?

Hello.

[ Angela ]
It's a Spectroline U.V. stamp.

They're designed
to withstand evaporation.

No match to any
local bars or clubs,
but I'm still searching.

- Agent Perotta discovered this?
- Yes.

You should be nicer to her.

Well, I like working with Booth.
I'm nice to him.

Okay, I admit.
I'm a geek.

- You're Greek?
- No. A geek, sweetie.

I love it all.Star Trek,
Star Wars, Buffy, Xena,Akira.

I even watch Fringe.

My girlfriend Jill
dumped me because of it,
which is very depressing.

- Fisher, what doesn't
depress you?
- Answers. I know that insignia.

I bet the victim was
a booth babe at ImagiCon.

I don't know
what that means.ImagiCon?

It's a convention for fans
of genre movies, comic books,
video games, anime.

Yeah, and it's
at Union Center till
the end of the week.

[ Fisher ]
Click on "Gallery" for
Booth Babe Roundup. Yeah.

When Dr. Saroyan talked
about the victim standing
on her feet for hours,

it sort of started
to click for me.

[ Brennan ]
Stop.

- That's definitely our dress.
- And judging from...

her zygomatic arches
and facial contours,

there's a good chance that
that's our victim wearing it.

- Someone should inform
Agent Perotta.
- That'd be you, sweetie.

[ Sighs ]
Of course.

I will inform Agent Perotta.

- [ Crowd Chattering ]
- [ Perotta ] Well, these people
don't look like killers.

[ Growling ]

I... disagree.

[ Brennan ]
Fascinating. A summit
between the disenfranchised...

and the commercial
franchises.

I'm at a loss for
an anthropological
analogue.

[ Perotta Sighs ]
So you really did a number
on Booth's lower back, huh?

Well, he had a mechanical
problem which didn't show up
on his X-rays.

My adjustment aggravated it.So it was an accident?

Yes. Why?
Did Booth tell you
something different?

No. No, no. In fact,
"aggravated" was exactly
the word he used.

Oh! There's
the Grimoire 3.0 booth.

I'm Special Agent Perotta,
F.B.I. This is Dr. Brennan
from the Jeffersonian.

We need you to answer
a couple of questions.

Yeah, that's Kendra Kim.
You can call me Shiny.

Why?It's my name.
Shiny Kopinsky.

Shiny, you didn't find it
strange at all that Kendra
didn't show up for work?

I just figured
the Grimoire people fired her...

for her attitude.What are Grimoire people?

Grimoire 3.0 is the online
Encyclopedia Fantastica
for the mouth-breather crowd.

Your job is
to sexualize software?

You mentioned Kendra
had an attitude?

Kendra thought
she wasa princess.

She kept bragging
about the fact that this
was her last trade show...

and she was sitting
on some gold mine
and was gonna cash in big.

What was the gold mine?She wouldn't say.

But one day, I followed her
on a lunch break.

I figured I'd catch her
talking to some game developer.

I mean, those guys are loaded,
and some of them
even smell normal.

But the only person I saw
her talking to was some loser
at the blacksmith booth.

[ Perotta ]
Are you Kroon the blacksmith?

Kroon I am.
And who be ye,
fair maiden?

I be a special agent
in search of justice and truth.

Yea, thou art.
How can I assist thee?

By knocking off the medieval
stuff and answering some
questions.

That would make me feel
more comfortable.

I assume "Kroon the blacksmith"
is not on your driver's license.The name's Peter Kroon.

I don't know what you've heard,
but these weapons are all legal
and accounted for.

- Do you know this young woman?
- I know her first name.

- Kimba.
- Kendra.

Whatever. She's the girl
with Excalibur.

- You mean the sword
from the King Arthur mythos?
- Yes.

Though in this case,
it's a prop sword from
the film Le Morte d'Arthur.

Is she in trouble?
No.She's dead.

- Do you sell nunchaku?
- No.

No.Why do you ask
if she's in trouble?

Uh, she stopped by
and asked me how much
I'd give her for it-- Excalibur.

I take a look and go,
"Whoa. That ain't
no ordinary cutlery."

I have to wonder if it's hot--
you know, stolen.

- Did it have significant value?
- It was worth thousands--
tens of thousands.

You weren't tempted to kill her,
take it for yourself?

Look. I could've told her
it was worth 200 bucks,
ripped her off.

But I didn't.
I sent her to Carl Derf
to list it at the auction.

Why was this piece of cutlery
worth so much?

It was the actual prop wielded
by Guy Thivisol in the first
fantasy film ever made.

The Excalibur
from this film is...

the holy grail
of fantasy
memorabilia.

Here it is.
[ Sighs ]
Beautiful.

Mmm. And you have no idea
where Kendra Kim got it?

She said she got it
from her family. Huh!You don't believe her?

That sword hasn't been seen
in 20 years.

What I thought was that she got
it from someone else here.

- Stole it?
- Stole it, maybe.

The girl was hot.
[ Chuckles ]

That goes a long way
in a place like this.

Trauma is limited to the skull.

Once I clean the skeleton
and get a better look
at the mandibular damage,

I'll know more--
or get fired for incompetence.

Well, I am finished
with the soft tissue,
so you can remove the flesh now.

According
to our old friends
diptera and coleoptera,

I place actual
time of death
about 72 hours ago.

Also, I discovered soil under
her nails along with traces
of Virginia nailworts,

neither native
to the dump site. [ Fisher Scoffing ]

What's with the long face there,
sunshine?

Mr. Fisher just broke up
with his girlfriend,
and he's feeling a little down.

What about me? My girlfriend
and I broke up. I gotta see her
at work every day.

Well, obviously it hasn't
blackened your soul
like it has mine.

- There was some light charring.
- I'm dead inside.

Okay, you win. Happy?

Not that I can ever remember.

- So what did your doctor say?
- Something about
a possible herniation...

occurred on my disks L3, L4.

Nothing, you know,
a little rest, stretching--

Hey, maybe a good massage'll
just kick it right out.

Well, intervertebral
disk degeneration
shouldn't be taken lightly.

Are you wearing your
lumbosacral support belt?Yeah.

The girdle, you mean.
Yeah, it's nice and tight.

[ Line Chimes ]Oh, hold on.

[ Beeps ]It's Booth.

Hey, it's Perotta.
How you doing? Uh,
you need anything?

No. I am just dandy.

Well, if you do, um--

- Hey, we found
the victim's father.
- We did?

Who's that?It's Booth.

No, no, no.
Before it was you.

- Booth, you pressed
"Conference."
- Dr. Brennan?

- It's me, Booth.
- Booth is on painkillers.

Is the victim's father
coming in?[ Booth ] I want to be there!

- No, you can't! He can't.
- Uh, why?

Yes, I can. What are you
still doing on this call?

No. Agent Perotta,
his back is very bad.
He can't be there.

- You can't let him in.
- Oh! I say "can."

- I am the ranking officer.
- But you are incapacitated
by painkillers.

Bones, enough! Okay?
I'm not "incapacipatated."

Whatever you said there,
all right? I just--
Don't listen to her, Perotta.

Don't.[ Sighs ]

Did your daughter live
at home with you Mr. Kim?

No. Kendra lived
in a condo in Logan Circle.

[ Whispering ]
Look, ask him when was the
last time he saw his daughter.

- What was that?
- This is Agent, uh, Booth.

- Hello.
- He's unable to be
with us in person.

Kendra and I didn't see each
other much, despite the fact
that I put a roof over her head.

According to
the modeling agency
that booked your daughter,

all of her checks were
sent to your address.

The money went to pay
the mortgage on the condo,
which was also in my name.

That's kind of a weird
arrangement, now, isn't it?So is this.

Well, considering my situation
and my back, which is--

Continue.

Kendra was about
as irresponsible
as a person could be.

I told her, after she paid
her debt to me, she could
spend her money how she wanted.

Tough love.

- Did you give her a sword?
- A sword?

- It's a knife,
but it's only huge.
- No.

But did your daughter
mention she might have
something of value?

- No.
- Probably because you'd
take it away from her.

Okay, this doesn't work.No, don't shut me off!

[ Sighs ]

I'd like to take a look
at your daughter's condo,
Mr. Kim.

Looks like someone
really wanted that sword.

Precise slashes
to the couch and removal
of ventilation screens...

suggest perp was frustrated
in the search.

Digital answering machine
behind the bed.
It's cracked.

See if Computer Forensics
can get anything off of it.

Found some running shoes
in the closet. Soles contain
insects, soil and blood.

You want our lab
to analyze that or yours?

Yeah, I'd like to see you try
and get these away from me now.

Figuratively speaking,
of course.

Anything else, Dr. Hodgins?In some ways,
you're just like Booth.

Mean that as a compliment.I don't think you do.

Now check this out.
Mandibular trauma downward.

Maxillary trauma upward.
Trauma to the molars
extends bilaterally.

The force radiated symmetrically
from the center of her mouth.It's like her face exploded.

Certainly nothing
I've seen before.

- Very good, Mr. Fisher.
- Really?

Just seems like the truth is
further away than it was before
and, like, laughing at us.

Process of elimination
is a key step
to discovering the truth.

I've seen many
unusual murder weapons.

So the fact that
I don't recognize this one
rules out all of the others.

Wow.
My kind of silver lining.

It's depressing.

The blood I found on the
booth babe's running shoes--
not human.

I think our princess
kissed a toad.

Bufo americanus-- American toad.

So she stepped on a frog? A toad--
Bufo americanus--

which amphibian is down
to one local population
right here near the Potomac,

in an area which matches
the soil and flora found
beneath her fingernails.

She went for a run,
stepped on a frog
and buried something.

A toad. And yeah--
yeah, that's the picture
forming in my mind too.

We pulled this message off
the victim's answering machine.

[ Woman's Voice ]
I don't know who you think
you're fooling, little princess,

but you're playing with a woman
who gets what she wants.

You've got three days.
I want that sword.

[ Clicks Tongue ]
You want me to do a profile from
a voice on an answering machine?

- Give it a shot.
You're a smarty-pants.
- Okay, fine.

"You're playing with a woman"
suggests that the caller...

regards the victim
as a child in comparison.

Okay. So-- So, what?
An old woman?No, no, experientially--

probably in terms
of sexual experience.

So you're looking for
someone fairly promiscuous.

I think that she's
already tried to take
the sword from a man...

and now is truly annoyed that
she has to deal with a girl.

The auctioneer is a man,

and he evaluated the sword
before Kendra panicked
and buried it.

I can assure you that this
is a clean and fair auction.

We've been running
this auction for 15 years.

Please answer the question,
Mr. Dorf.Derf.

Yes, I certified
and registered the item.

I even gave the consignor
the option to store it in
our secure room. She declined.

Consignor has to give you
detailed contact information,
right?

- Huh! If they want to get paid.
- And sometimes you
give that information...

to certain parties interested
in illegal prebidding?

What? No. No, look.
I told you before--

Your pupils are constricted,
suggesting an increase
in adrenaline.

What?And the change
in voice pitch...

indicates increased
pressure in the neck
via the laryngeal prominence.

What-What are you saying?You're lying to us.

Kinesthesia is a clear
indicator of dissembling,
Mr. Dorf.

Derf. But--
Look, just-- Look--

Do you recognize this voice?I don't know who you think
you're fooling, little princess,

but you're playing with a woman
who gets what she wants.

You've got three days.
I want that sword.

Did that woman contact you
about the sword?Yes, she did.

Her name is Valerie Daniels.
She's a medieval-weapons
collector.

And you provided her
with Kendra Kim's address
and phone number.

E-Every auction
does private prebids.
And no one ever gets--

- Hurt?
- What--

Wait a minute.
What about the Excalibur?

Did you find it?
Is it still going up
for auction?

Booth is right.
You're like
a portable polygraph.

He didn't mean that
in a good way, though, did he?[ Inhales Sharply ]

[ Sweets ]
Hmm.

This is quite a collection
of medieval and fantasy weapons,
Miss Daniels.

My parents call it
a waste of my trust fund,
which is praise enough for me.

Seems an unlikely hobby
for a young woman.I like sharp edges.

I like...
sharp against soft.

What do you like,
Dr. Sweets?What?

- Can you account for your
whereabouts Wednesday night?
- Yeah.

I was somewhere not killing
Kendra Kim. That's what
you wanted to know, right?

That's not what I asked.I was at the Immortal Comics
after party.

You can ask Dean Noveck,
the publisher.

We slept together. The sex
was vanilla. At least I got
an alibi out of it, right?

You feel a need to be
in control, don't you,
Miss Daniels?

- I'd like to control you
if you're up for it.
- Oh, I assure you, I'm not.

And your attempt
to regain self-esteem
through sexual intimidation...

will not repair
the dysfunctional relationship
you had with your father.

Abandonment? Abuse?
Indifference?

You are far more ripped
under those schoolboy duds...

than one would think,
aren't you, Dr. Sweets?

Yes. But right now,
I'm more interested to hear...

why you trashed Kendra's condo
after you didn't kill her.

- Her condo was trashed?
- Mmm. They were looking
for Excalibur.

That's what you wanted, right?

I travel the world tracking down
rare and beautiful weapons.

I do research.
I develop contacts.
I put in serious work.

Along comes this booth babe
with a famous sword thought
to be lost for decades?

She didn't deserve it.

- But you deserved it.
- I asked her,
where did she get it.

She said somebody dressed as a
black knight just gave it to her
on the first day of ImagiCon.

Just walked up
and presented it to her
as a gift.

She expected me
to believe that?

I didn't kill the girl.

I just wanted the sword.

[ Frequency Chirping ]

Oh, man.
Feels good.Yeah.

- Thanks for comin' along.
- Yeah. Any chance
to get some fresh air.

Lone guy with a metal detector
in the bushes?
Looks kind of creepy.

It is.
And I know you.

- [ Trilling ]
- Oh, boy! Frog!

Toad, not frog.
Bufo americanus.

And Virginia nailwort.

We're close to where
she buried the sword.Hold on a second.

[ Rapid Beeping ]I got frequency response.

Whoa, ho, ho.

Excalibur.

I am the once
and future king!

Way to not be creepy.

Wow.

- [ Mock Scream ]
- [ Slow Groan ]

-That is not a toy, Dr. Hodgins.
-It kind of is.
It's a movie prop.

Stainless steel blade.
That was new technology
for the time.

Edge is dull, of course.May I see?

It's badly balanced.
The blade is warped. [ Device Beeps ]

All of the prints on the sword
belong to Kendra Kim.
Could this be the murder weapon?

She wasn't stabbed or slashed.
The damage to her jaw is unique.

It wasn't from being
struck with a sword. [ Device Beeps ]

Is that the sword?
Can I?

[ British Accent ]
An elegant weapon
for a more civilized age.

Actually, the age in which
swords were the primary
infantry weapon...

were some of the most
barbaric in history.

It's a line
from Star Wars.Obi-Wan Kenobi.

- What language
is that supposed to be?
- Why is he all excited?

Finding this sword has given us
a unique advantage in this case.

We now have what the killer
wants the most.

It only makes sense
that the killer's gonna
come after it again.

Dr. Sweets
wants to lay a trap.

You said that the auctioneer's
no longer a suspect, correct?

- So we lean on him
to fake the auction?
- We can't auction off evidence.

[ Groans ]
I never thought of that.

We could insert
an undercover asset who outbids
everyone for the item,

no matter how high
the price goes.

The auction's tomorrow.
I don't have time to set up
that kind of operation.

I'll do it. You and Dr. Brennan
have already been seen...

walking around ImagiCon
asking questions, right?

Whereas I am
an unknown quantity.

An enigma. Who is this man
bidding so aggressively
for Excalibur?

I'm confident that if our
killer is there, this will
provoke him to reveal himself.

I play the mystery bidder.
You observe
the unsuspecting suspects...

- via video feed
in a separate room.
- Who's gonna run the camera?

[ Sighs ]

We need someone who blends in--
someone who looks like
they belong there.

[ Fisher ]
♪ I drug your ghost
across the country ♪

♪♪ [ Rock On Earbuds ]♪ We plotted out my death
in every city ♪

♪ Memories would whisper
Here is where you rest, ah ♪♪

♪♪ [ Continues On Earbuds ]

What's wrong now?

[ Derf ] Sold to the Rancor
princess. Congratulations,
ma'am. You can pick that up--

Is there a special reason
why you wanted me here,
Agent Perotta?

I-- I thought you wanted to be
involved in the investigation.

- Uh, um, okay. [ On Earphones ]
Pan around, Fisher.
- [ Derf Continues, Indistinct ]

[ Perotta ]
Good. There is Peter Kroon.

[ Derf ]
Bidding starts at $5,000.

[ Perotta ] And there is
Valerie Daniels. Let's hope
she doesn't recognize Sweets.

Oh, there's the black knight.
Valerie Daniels said a black
knight gave Kendra the sword.

[ Perotta ]
All right.
Stay on this one, Fisher.

Okay, Lot 922.
We have here
the Geiger counter--

the actual Geiger counter--
used by Ron Berger
in The Day of the Atom.

Who can forget
that sound right before
the giant cockroach attack?

Click, click, click, click,
click, click, click, click,
click, click, click!

Bidding starts at 10,000.
Do I have 10?[ Growls ]

Ten to the elfin warrior.

Fifteen to the Snaarflap
in the front row.

Do I have 16?
Sixteen-- 20,000.

Going once, twice--
Sold to the gentleman Molnar!

Uh, sorry, ma'am.
Female Molnar.

Okay. Here we go. Sword is next.
[ On Earphones ]
Uh, Fisher, find Sweets.

Sweets, you gotta try to keep
that giant fuzzy thing between
you and Valerie Daniels, okay?

-She won't recognize me.
-Where did he get that disguise
on such short notice?

- My guess is his closet.
- [ Derf ] Our last item
needs no introduction.

- The Excalibur sword from
the film Le Morte d'Arthur.
- [ Crowd Exclaiming ]

[ Woman ]
That's great.

[ Derf ] As you may have heard,
the seller of this item
tragically died this week.

According to her family's
wishes, the proceeds for
this lot will go to charity.

Due to the rare nature
of this item,

bidding will start
at $50,000.

- [ Crowd Murmuring ]
- This will separate
the men from the boys.

Or the women!
50,000 to the lady in black.

Do I hear 55? Sixty?

Sixty to the gentleman from
the future with the red lips.
Do I hear 70?

70,000. Yes.
Do I hear 80?

- 80,000. Do I hear 90?
We have 80 on the table.
- [ Impressed Whistle ]

- Do I hear--
- [ Man ]
150.

- [ Murmurings ]
- [ Scattered Applause ]

Fisher, let me take
a look at this guy.

[ Derf ]
$150,000!
Going once, twice--

160. 170. Two?
200,000.

Ohh!

- Who is that guy?
- Who is that guy?

- This was Johnny Gerard's
first-ever fantasy film.
- Oh, it's exciting!

- 300,000.
- Sir?

- 400,000.
- [ Sighs ]

- $400,000!
- In 193 A.D., the praetorian
guard took over Rome...

and auctioned off
the entire empire
to the highest bidder.

- I don't know why I'm nervous,
but I am.
- Uh, Sweets, it's fake money!

[ On Earphones ]
Okay? Just do it! Going once-- twice--

Do it!500!

$500,000 for
the Excalibur sword.
A half a million dollars.

Sir?

- Ma'am?
- [ Chuckles ]

500,000 going once--

twice--

Sold to the skinny gentleman
dressed as a--

Congratulations, sir.

- And thank you, everyone.
- [ Man ]
Good job!

Join us at the medieval-weapons
demonstration
in the exhibit hall.

And you guys don't want to miss
the Blackthorne guest panel.How you doing?

That's tomorrow.Just making a documentary.

Well, I am gonna
go talk to James Bond.

Nice suit.
Got a minute?

Badgley Mormont?
Is that your real name?

Of course it's my real name.
It's a family name. Could I
possibly get my passport back?

You in a big hurry
to get somewhere?I need to make a flight, yes.

What's your business
with the sword?

I represent a group
of collectors known
as the Arthurium Consortium.

We house the world's largest
collection of materials
relating to Camelot.

- They wanted the sword.
- Wow. That was
actually pretty wild.

But I'm pretty sure no one
realized the auction was bogus.

- The auction was fixed?
- Uh-oh.

I'm going to sue you,
and I'm going to sue you.

[ Chuckles ]
Whoo! You know, intellectually,
I knew the auction was fixed.

But, man,
my heart was pumping!

Well, technically, your
adrenal glands were secreting.

Okay. Remember last session
when we talked about
the correcting...

and how it could be read
the wrong way?

Right.

So, how did it feel
when you won the sword?

Awesome!
Thank you for asking.

Though I gotta say,
I'll be glad to be
back behind my desk.

I had enough excitement
to last me--

[ Brennan Groans ]

Hey! Stop!

- [ Brennan Grunting ]
- [ Black Knight Groans ]

[ Groans ]

- [ Sweets Coughing ]
- Sweets, are you hurt?

I-- I don't know.
I don't know.

- Mad props.
- Thanks.

[ Tires Squeal,
Car Departs ]You okay?

[ Horn Blaring ]

Okay. You know what?
I'm comin' in. All right?

- You could've been killed.
- No. You shouldn't move,
Booth.

With a herniated disk,
the splintered cartilage
can irritate the nerves, and--

- I'm fine.
- So the-- the pain is gone?

[ Groans Quietly ]
Don't feel a thing.
I might not be moving as fast.

But, hey,
still haven't lost my edge.

- [ On Speakerphone ] So, why
wasn't Perotta with you?
- I was with Sweets.

That's like being protected
by a Smurf-- not the sheriff,
the guy who was in charge.

I don't even know his name.
But he was blue
and a small guy--

- Booth, have you
taken more Vicodin?
- Huh?

Look, Booth. I'm fine.
Sweets is fine--

a little shaken up,
but really, we're both fine.

Please, don't come in.If you think so.

- [ Straining ] But I'm ready.
- That's amazing
in your condition.

Yeah. Well, you know me.

I really think you should
just take your Vicodin and rest.

You're right. Okay.

I wanna talk
to Perotta.All right.

He wants to talk to you.

How are you,
Agent Booth?

The only reason that I am
not coming in right now is
because Bones told me not to.

But she is your responsibility.
Nothing can happen to her, okay?

If anything happens...
to her--

You know,
that silky black hair and--

Oh, that soft skin.

I will not let her
out of my sight.
You have my word.

Now, uh, we should really
get back to the case,
Agent Booth.

Am I stopping you?

Let me in!
[ Giggling ]

[ Horn Honks ][ Chuckles ]

All right. I'm gonna go
round up as many black knights
as I can at ImagiCon.

In the meantime, please don't
go out in the field without me.I don't need a sitter.

Booth gets needlessly
protective sometimes.
I have no idea why.

You really don't,
do you?No.

Just call me, please.

[ Hodgins ]
Matched paint chips that
we lifted from Sweets's car.

Copolymer comprised of
ethylenically unsaturated
monomers...

containing hydroxyl groups
and other vinyl monomers.

You know, they could've
been killed, Hodgins. Sweets
is way too young for this.

He still has to show
his I.D. to drink.But they weren't.

And Brennan--
She shouldn't be putting
herself in danger like this.

Angela, she cares too much
to keep it all in the lab, and
you're never gonna change her.

Why can't she just
get her rocks off through sex
like a normal person, right?

I agree.
And in the spirit
of friendship, if,

you know, you ever--

[ Computer Beeps ]Saved by the beep, huh?

[ Typing ]

The paint is from
an early '90s Ford Explorer.

Now all Perotta has to do
is find an evil black knight
that owns one.

There's blood on the blade,
so you landed some hits
on the errant knight.

He's injured.Can you pull D.N.A.?

Sure, but we have nothing
to compare it to.

There's some fresh nicks
on the blade.

Only metal would damage
the blade like this.

Was he wearing armor?No. His movement wasn't
constricted at all.

- He jangled.
- Sweets, how are you feeling?

Appreciative of the air bag.
Um, doctor says I'm fine.

Thanks.Jangled?

Yeah.A lot of change
in his pocket?

I wasn't particularly observant,
because during the attack...

I secreted copious quantities
of adrenaline.

An attack is
an acceptable excuse,
Dr. Brennan.

I'll have Hodgins examine the
sword and see what he can find.Okay.

I owe you a great deal.I'm sure you would've done
the same for me, Dr. Sweets,

if I had been
trapped in the car.Yeah.

Though I have to say,
you were quite impressive
with that sword.

Your moves-- very...
Xena-ish.Xena-ish?

Xena.
She's a tall warrior princess...

who's really... a fantasy.

Okay, thank you, I think.

Oh, uh, hey, since we shared
this brush with death,
Dr. Brennan,

I was wondering if I could also
call you Bones in future moments
of shared camaraderie?

Don't call me Bones.

You sure about that,
Bones?Please, don't.

[ Perotta ] None of them
drives a Ford Explorer,
and they all have alibis--

four that can be
corroborated by their moms.

Any way for you
to get blood samples? [ On Speakerphone ] No.

I mean, dressing like a medieval
knight isn't exactly enough to
get a warrant to collect D.N.A.

Maybe you could get the names
of a few more black knights
from these black knights.

Hmm. Okay.

But I gotta tell ya. Being
addressed as "milady" for two
hours makes one a little cranky.

Milady.Milady.

[ Saroyan ]
Mr. Fisher?This is the murder weapon.

Not the literal murder weapon.
I'm not that good.

But it certainly falls
within the genre or type.

What is it?The pear of anguish,
a medieval torture device.

Valerie had it.Valerie--

Valerie Daniels.One of the suspects in the case
Valerie Daniels?

Uh-huh.How did you get it?

- Oh, do we really
have to get into that?
- Now we do, yeah.

Our eyes met
at the auction.

We shared a bleak
and profound hopelessness.

- [ Smacks Lips ] You spent
the night with a suspect?
- Yes.

Valerie enjoys
quite a collection
of torture devices...

and other archaic implements
used for pleasure
rather than pain.

Uh, may I?Sure.
[ Clears Throat ]

This particular pear of anguish
is to be inserted in either
the vagina or the anus.

There are larger ones
for the mouth.

As it is opened, it expands
the hard palate and mandible
in equal proportions--

which would give
exactly these injuries--

crushing the maxilla
and zygomatic,

thrusting the bones
into the brain,
killing the victim.

That is one
horrible way to die.

I wish the depravity and cruelty
of human behavior surprised me.

Does that extend to disciplinary
action? 'Cause you are in big
trouble, my melancholy friend.

Of course I am.
Who could expect
a night of love to last?

- I've done every test
I can think of on the sword.
- Can I say something?

The only thing I'm willing
to hear from you right now,
Mr. Fisher,

is "I hereby tender
my resignation."

Practically speaking,
this sword is not worth
enough to kill for.

If anything is worth
killing for, then everything
is worth killing for.

- It's worth so much because
it appeared in the movie.
- That's conveyed value.

Intrinsically, it can't
be worth more than
a few hundred dollars.

You mean if it really was
a sword from 100 A.D., you'd
understand killing for it?

Yes, I would.
I'd very much like
to examine a sword like that.

- What about the marks
on this sword?
- Metal. You struck metal.

- You said he was a knight.
- Chain mail.
[ Clears Throat ]

I'm thinking chain mail.

Huh.

- What?
- The knight who attacked me
was authentic in his moves.

He used two attack maneuvers--
the serpent and the arrowhead.

Could've learned them
from movies.

Movies never show combatants
holding the sword correctly,

which is one hand on the handle
and the other on the blade.

Our assailant's form
was historically accurate.

So, uh, you believe
you were attacked by
an actual Arthurian knight?

No. Time travel
is scientifically impossible.

But I was attacked by someone
well trained in archaic martial
arts wearing chain mail.

Hodgins, we're gonna need to use
your metal detector again.Sure.

I think that she means
that you should go with her.

Oh, yeah. Right.
Hey, field trip.

[ Chirping, Beeping ]

What's that?

Part of Sweets's car.

Think he wants it back?I'll ask him.

So, what am I
looking for exactly?

Maybe the black knight
dropped his metal wallet?

Uh, no. Historically,
that would be a leather sack
held together with flax thread.

It wouldn't register
on your metal detector.

I hit him hard. Perhaps
hard enough to dislodge...

some of his chain mail.

What we're looking at is flat,
riveted chain mail.Is it real?

If by real you mean,
does it come from
medieval times? No. No.

But it's a very,
very good replica.

Made of wrought iron,
it's alternating rows of
solid rings and riveted rings.

It's historically accurate,
but the smelting methods for
the wrought iron are modern.

- Can you trace
the manufacturer?
- I had Fisher do it.

Hodgins, are you trying to help
someone? Because that's not
in your character.

Way I see it, Fisher's like
a deep-cover agent.

He infiltrated the enemy
to uncover secrets.

In order to do so, he had to
suffer a night of passion with
a beautiful but dangerous enemy.

- You have no idea
how dangerous.
- He's sort of my hero.

- All right. What have you got?
- Uh, I didn't have to go far.

There are only three
manufacturers working at
this level with these materials.

Can I please keep my job
if I promise never ever
to have sex again with anyone?

Which, by the way,
suits me temperamentally.

I happen to be
very self-sufficient.

I won't require that,
Mr. Fisher,

but I do require discretion.

Nothing will pass
these lips again, Dr. Saroyan,

even if a scary,
hot woman in black leather...

uses the pear of anguish
on me--

which I'm actually afraid
she will.

Kroon the blacksmith.

[ Brennan ]
You started out as
a serious historian at Yale.

You studied medieval warfare
and Chaucerian literature
at Oxford.

- You're a published poet.
- You're wondering how a man
with all my potential...

ended up selling artifacts
to fantasy geeks?

No. I don't care.

Your car shows you are
the person who drove Dr. Brennan
and Dr. Sweets off the road.

Your wound matches the one
Dr. Brennan delivered
to her assailant.

It was your blood on the sword,
and we found fragments
of your chain mail.

- [ Brennan ]
We know you did it.
- We just don't know why.

But we really
don't care why.Well, I kind of do.

I don't. The whole motive thing is
pretty central to a conviction.

I know why he did it.

Read this to him.
"What is a man
without his love?"

What is a man
without his love?

If love turn
its back on thee,

it is as a hearth
with no fire.

'Tis best to slay
the false heart,

to waken from the dream
that is life...

than live dark-hearted
in a dark world.

What's that?

It's mine.
I wrote that.

- It's a confession.
- It's a confession.

I loved her.

It's stupid, but...

love is stupid, you know?

You gave her the sword,
your most valuable possession,

and she tried
to sell it for rent?

You killed her because she
wanted to sell a movie prop?

You don't understand.

No one understands
true love anymore!

[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]
So he killed her
because he loved her so much?

The whole age of chivalry
was irrational.

You know, knights, maidens.
Thank goodness we moved
through the Reformation...

and the Enlightenment
into the Age of Reason.

Do you--
Do you see what I mean?

Not at all.
I gotta tell you, man.

I think they had a pretty
good idea with the whole
chivalry thing, you know?

Open car doors,
kill dragons,

small hearts.

- You still on Vicodin?
- Yeah, a little.

Okay. What I'm trying
to show you is that
your doctor is wrong.

- You've been misdiagnosed.
- Give me that! What? Ow!

No, just a slight misalignment.
I'd be happy to fix it for you.

Oh, no. Last time you did that,
I almost ended up
in a wheelchair.

- Don't you trust me?
- Let's not make it about trust.

Well, it's a fact.
A fact is not what I make of it.
It's just a fact.

Are you ready?[ Groans ] Nah, I'm definitely
not ready now, thanks.

[ Knocking ]Oh, G-- It's open!

[ Door Opens ]

[ Grunts ]
Oh! [ Bones Cracking ]

Oh. Uh--

I-I didn't--
I thought you said
the door was open.

It is open. I'm done.
I'm just leaving.

Oh, no. No, no.
I just, um, brought
some chili I made.

But, um-- You know what?
I'll just-- I'll just
leave that there,

and you can, um--

Are you all right?

He's fine now.I gotta tell ya.
I'm afraid to move.

He's fine.
Please, you stay.

No, no. I really--
I really can't.
So you-- you stay.

I've gotta go.
I can't stay.

Great.
Now-Now nobody's staying? [ Door Opens ]

[ Door Closes ]Hello?

What's that mean?