All language subtitles for Splitting Up Together S01E07 Star of Milo 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,796 ♪♪ 2 00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:08,384 More matcha? 3 00:00:08,426 --> 00:00:09,427 I'm good. Thanks. 4 00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:10,845 You're probably wondering 5 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:12,722 why I summoned you here into the kitchen. 6 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,265 No, not really. 7 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:16,058 I was just a few feet away swapping out laundry, so... 8 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,602 As I'm sure you're aware, Milo's 8th birthday is upon us. 9 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,563 And I thought we might discuss the best ways 10 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,398 to orchestrate the festivities 11 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,192 based on our new system of boundaries. Mm-hmm. Okay. 12 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,987 And what kind of orchestrating did you have in mind? 13 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,113 Two parties -- 14 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:30,740 one day of, one day after. 15 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,616 Two separate guest lists, two separate themes, 16 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,410 no mixed messages. 17 00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:35,619 Separate themes? 18 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,371 [ Laughs ] Good luck. 19 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,081 I mean, the only thing Milo cares about is deep space. 20 00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:41,667 False. He has diverse interests. 21 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,210 He's teaching himself witchcraft. 22 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,587 Okay, wait. 23 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:47,047 Not only is it financially irresponsible 24 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,467 to have two parties, it's plain, old unnecessary. 25 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:50,676 We get along. 26 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:51,969 Why do we have to pretend we don't? 27 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,679 Well, Mae's school psychologist -- 28 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,222 Look, we are more than capable 29 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,141 of jointly hosting a birthday party. 30 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,228 Well, it would be a lot simpler. 31 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,938 Yeah. And Milo isn't Mae. 32 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,690 He's still little. He would want us both there. 33 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,275 You had me at "isn't Mae." I'm in. 34 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,152 Heck yeah, you're in! We're co-parents, right? 35 00:01:08,194 --> 00:01:09,862 Yeah. Let us co-parent. 36 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,489 I can't find Josh. 37 00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,573 Seriously? 38 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:13,699 Did you look under your bed? 39 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,992 You know he likes it there. 40 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,410 Bed. Did -- Did you look under the bed? 41 00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,412 Please file this missing-turtles report 42 00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:20,790 with the proper authorities. 43 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,876 ♪♪ 44 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,211 Martin? Hm? 45 00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,295 Have you seen Josh? 46 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:27,421 I didn't hear you. 47 00:01:27,463 --> 00:01:28,714 I said have you seen Josh? 48 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,883 Um... 49 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,802 Maybe he's -- 50 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:33,886 Maybe he ran away. 51 00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:35,054 Josh can't run. 52 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,931 Maybe he went away. 53 00:01:36,972 --> 00:01:38,766 Maybe he just left. 54 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:41,060 Why would he do that? 55 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,728 That's a good question, honey. 56 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,647 Oh, come on. 57 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,273 You both know Josh sought freedom. 58 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,733 It wasn't a secret. 59 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,861 You saw how depressed he was, how trapped he felt. 60 00:01:52,071 --> 00:01:53,572 Now he's free. 61 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,033 I don't want him to be free. 62 00:01:56,075 --> 00:01:57,952 That's why I kept him in a cage. 63 00:01:57,993 --> 00:02:00,913 Hey, that turtle was not put on this Earth to be your prisoner. 64 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:02,998 Are you having a stroke? Sorry. 65 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,209 I don't trust you to file this paperwork. 66 00:02:06,377 --> 00:02:08,170 [ Inhales deeply ] 67 00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:09,964 [ Sighs, chuckles ] 68 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:13,008 Ah, the big 8, huh? Look at our boy. 69 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,343 What did you do to the turtle? 70 00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:17,555 I let him go, okay? I released him. 71 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,849 No one even paid any attention to him. 72 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,392 Oh, okay. 73 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,518 So then are you gonna release Mason, as well? 74 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,936 Eh. 75 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,646 You know what? I'm gonna let this go. 76 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,857 But it's only because Josh smelled like hot kimchi 77 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,900 and I never really understood his allure. 78 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,861 And besides, we have a party to plan. 79 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,779 When I say "party," you say -- 80 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,322 [ Groans ] 81 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:38,701 ♪ Keep giving me hope for a better day ♪ 82 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,912 ♪ Keep giving me love to find a way ♪ 83 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:45,249 ♪ Through this heaviness I feel ♪ 84 00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:51,547 ♪ I just need someone to say everything's okay ♪ 85 00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:55,175 ♪ Everything's okay ♪ 86 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:58,178 So when do you find out if you're with child? 87 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,055 I'll know at my next appointment if it took. 88 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,391 So exciting! [ Chuckles ] 89 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:03,976 Which donor did you end up going with? 90 00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,144 860A. 91 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,395 He sounds great. 92 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:07,563 Mm. 93 00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:09,023 No history of mental illness. 94 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:12,651 And he's a Kumon teacher, so he's basically Mensa. 95 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,278 I hope it's a baby of color. 96 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,530 This family could really use some flavor. 97 00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:19,074 Mm. Mm. 98 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,826 So you think we got everyone? 99 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,494 Oh, I almost forgot. 100 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,122 The woman responsible for my very great handwriting 101 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:27,708 and guest of honor, Lisa Apple. 102 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,960 Honey, you're the guest of honor. 103 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,253 It's your birthday. 104 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:32,755 Maybe Lisa could be an alternate 105 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,256 if one of the Jaspers drops out. 106 00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,133 But I want her to be there. 107 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,928 Well, then say no more. 108 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,220 It's your birthday. 109 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,514 The lettered and bespectacled Lisa Apple 110 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,766 will be in attendance. 111 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,601 Yay! 112 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,394 Yay! Yay. 113 00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:50,230 ♪♪ 114 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,233 [ Knock on door ] 115 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,027 Martin: Door's open. 116 00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:58,822 Hey, I'm just on my way out. 117 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,741 What's up? Everything okay? 118 00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:02,451 Wow! Stop it. 119 00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:03,452 Stop what? 120 00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:04,954 What's up, Bill Nye? 121 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:08,082 Oh. Yeah. It was a gift from Lisa. 122 00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,625 She's been so fantastic with me and the kids, 123 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,377 I feel the least I can do is wear it for her. 124 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,461 Mm. 125 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,129 Guess she wants a smart guy. 126 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,965 You never role-played with me. 127 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,841 Would you have wanted me to? 128 00:04:19,093 --> 00:04:20,219 Oh, that was a burn. 129 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,845 Oh, sorry. It took me a sec. 130 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,223 Mm. I guess I really shouldn't be wearing this. 131 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,975 Nope. Here you go. 132 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:28,268 Oh. Whoa. 133 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,562 Birthday invite for the guest of honor. 134 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,399 I see. And you're okay with this? 135 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,486 If Milo wants Lisa Apple at his party, then...so do I. 136 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:38,821 And there's no anthrax in here? 137 00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:41,240 No. Just a lot of glitter. 138 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,241 Which might be worse. 139 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,951 Worse? 140 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,828 Take it off. 141 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,329 [ Door closes ] 142 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,248 [ Birds chirping ] 143 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,250 [ Children laughing ] 144 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,336 ♪♪ 145 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,798 [ Doorbell rings ] 146 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:02,052 Maya: Hi. Come on in. 147 00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,762 Are you expecting someone else? 148 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,097 [ Door closes ] 149 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,016 Just a colleague I invited. 150 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,767 Well, the turnout is great. 151 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,437 Both Jaspers are in attendance. I know. 152 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,896 And they don't say yes to just any party. 153 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,273 Mm. This is true. 154 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,692 And thank you for taking a lead on decorations. 155 00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:19,236 Thank you for setting up the hydration station. 156 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:20,571 Well, I didn't have much of a choice, 157 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:21,613 'cause that's what you told me to do. 158 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,866 Correct. 159 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,034 [Imitates respirator hissing] 160 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,703 Ground control to Major Mom! 161 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,414 Oh! Are you ground control? 162 00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:32,875 Because you look like the person who's in space. 163 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:34,501 Did I mess that up? Shucks. 164 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:35,836 Yeah, that's okay. 165 00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:37,546 There's intelligent life on this planet. 166 00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,215 Uh-oh. This mission might be doomed. 167 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,217 I'm afraid the atmosphere is inhospitable. 168 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,802 She said she was okay with it. 169 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,054 Lisa Apple! 170 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,514 [ Chuckling ] Hey! 171 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,391 [ Monotone voice ] Take me to your leader. 172 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,893 Are you an alien? 173 00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,896 Yeah, are you an alien or an astronaut? 174 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,564 Make up your mind, Lisa Apple! 175 00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:57,649 Zorkul-sneedlium. 176 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,650 Jerggil-knee-kilp! 177 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,861 [ Chuckles ] 178 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,905 [ Monotone voice ] Gabourey Sidibe. 179 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,240 [ Normal voice ] Isn't that an actress? 180 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,284 It can only be made-up words, Mommy. 181 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,704 Mm. Show me your party. 182 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,081 Okay! Okay! 183 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,465 ♪♪ 184 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:23,008 Lisa: Major Mom. 185 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:26,011 I just wanted to say thank you for having me today. 186 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,513 Oh, not a problem, Lisa. 187 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,931 I know you could've blocked it if you wanted to, 188 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:29,932 but you didn't. 189 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,433 I did not. 190 00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:32,935 The kid stuff can be tricky after a divorce. 191 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,603 Have you had kids or a divorce? 192 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:36,355 I haven't, no. 193 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,398 Even my parents are still madly in love 40 years later. 194 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,441 Can you believe it? 195 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,110 I cannot. 196 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,695 But you and Martin are pros. 197 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,239 I mean, you guys make it seem easy. 198 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,282 It's not easy. 199 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,659 But thank you. 200 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:50,869 Milo's a really special kid. 201 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,579 I'm just happy to be back in his life. 202 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,081 He is a special kid. 203 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,290 He also eats Chapstick. 204 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,583 [ Chuckles ] [ Doorbell rings ] 205 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,584 Totally age-appropriate, if you ask me. 206 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,710 But I didn't. 207 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,588 Oh! Excuse me. 208 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,215 My colleague has arrived. 209 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,758 [ Trash bag thuds ] Toby! 210 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,135 Toby. 211 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,344 [ Door closes ] Oh. 212 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:08,929 I'm so glad you could be here. 213 00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:09,972 You live here? 214 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,557 I do. Come in. 215 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:13,976 Ah, yes. Gracias, señorita. 216 00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,018 No problem. [ Laughs ] 217 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,645 None for me, thank you. 218 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:17,646 You on medication? 219 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:18,897 What? No. 220 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,065 Then why aren't you drinking? 221 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,942 Do I need a reason? 222 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:25,654 When a booze-thusiast refuses booze 223 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:26,947 at an 8-year-old's birthday party, 224 00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:28,115 yes, Maya, mm-hmm, yes, you do. 225 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:30,993 Okay, Camille, fine. You win. 226 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,954 I am...slightly pregnant. 227 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,414 [ Gasps ] Yes. 228 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,915 Yes. I am pregnant. 229 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,000 I've been fertilized. 230 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,502 Maya! Oh, my gosh! 231 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,087 Oh, my God! Maya: I wanted to wait 232 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,630 till the three-month mark, 233 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,674 but, okay, what's one more curse 234 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,176 on an otherwise high-risk pregnancy? 235 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,343 I'm gonna be a single mom. 236 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,636 [ Cheers ] 237 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,805 Who cares? Time to open presents. 238 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,765 I'm proud of you, honey. Way to get knocked up. 239 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,975 Do you know the race yet? 240 00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,393 We're gonna let that be a surprise. 241 00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:58,312 Oh, my gosh! 242 00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,480 Oh, we're gonna have, like, a little niece or nephew. 243 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:01,565 I know! 244 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,025 Or I will. 245 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,194 You'll have an ex-niece or ex-nephew. 246 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,029 Ex-Uncle Martin. 247 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,364 I love babies. 248 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,241 We were good at babies. 249 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,784 Yeah, we were. 250 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,453 [ Indistinct chatter ] 251 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,123 Lena: A toast... Milo. 252 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,875 ...to my incredible sister, Maya, 253 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,294 for taking matters into her own hands. 254 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,795 Mazel! [ Laughs ] [ All cheer ] 255 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,714 Cut this guy off. 256 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,633 [ Indistinct conversations ] 257 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,552 Hey. Where's the birthday boy? 258 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,471 In his room, cursing up a storm. 259 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,723 How old is he turning? Zero? 260 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,558 You little rat bastard -- 261 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,977 Hey, hey, hey. Arthur, Arthur. 262 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,855 [ Space alien voice ] Oh, Planet Cranet to Milo. 263 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,315 Come in, Milo. 264 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:46,318 What is your emotional location? 265 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:50,906 Astronaut Milo? 266 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:52,866 Have you gone dark? 267 00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:55,077 I hate Aunt Maya and I hate this party 268 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,162 and I hate her stupid, ugly baby, 269 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,081 and I'm not sharing my birthday with it! 270 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,375 And if I were any better at witchcraft, I swear -- 271 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,543 [ Normal voice ] Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 272 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,337 You know that's not how it works, right? 273 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,382 That baby will have its own birthday, 274 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,050 and when your new baby cousin comes along, 275 00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,551 you won't be the youngest anymore. 276 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:12,844 So you know what that means? 277 00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,391 I can beat the baby up? 278 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:21,728 Um, or you can teach it things, like... 279 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,021 Who got you into deep space? 280 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,356 Mason. 281 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,233 He kept telling me I was from Uranus, 282 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:27,859 so I looked it up, 283 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,529 and I found out Uranus has 27 moons. 284 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,448 So Mason wound up introducing you to something super cool, 285 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,492 and you can do the same thing for the baby. 286 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:38,620 You can teach it all of your wisdom about Uranus. 287 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:41,373 I do have a lot of wisdom about Uranus. 288 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:44,084 Would you like to open up a present? 289 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,210 Maybe the one I got you? 290 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,253 Yes, please! 291 00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:49,131 [ Laughing ] Oh. 292 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,591 ♪♪ 293 00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:53,218 What is it? Very special. 294 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,970 I'm so excited. What is it? 295 00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:56,305 What is it? hat is it? [ Gasps ] 296 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:59,641 I just hope that he or she gets my ankles. 297 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,518 Does anyone know if ankles are recessive? 298 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,312 [ Laughter ] No. 299 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,647 Hey, everyone, I also have an announcement to make. 300 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,233 I got my own star! 301 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:11,570 Lisa Apple adopted it for me, and it has my name. 302 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,405 [ Laughs ] All right, buddy! 303 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,615 Yeah. You killed it, babe. 304 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:16,908 Hey, where's Mom? 305 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,578 [ Knock on door ] 306 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,662 Maya: Lena? 307 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,789 No. 308 00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:25,334 [ Sniffles ] 309 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:26,668 Is this about that star? 310 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:29,254 'Cause that was crap. No. 311 00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,507 Oh, God. 312 00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,634 ♪♪ 313 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:38,013 [ Sniffles ] I'm glad Milo got his star. 314 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,389 [ Sniffles ] 315 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:42,267 And I'm happy about Martin and Lisa Apple. 316 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,852 And I'm happy for you. 317 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:49,274 I just -- I just don't feel happy for me. 318 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,819 Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones. 319 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,863 You know sisters are like that sometimes. 320 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,281 [ Knock on door ] 321 00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,534 Family meeting? 322 00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,702 Yes, please. 323 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,704 [ Door closes ] 324 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,207 I'm sorry, you guys. 325 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,293 I just -- I feel so empty. 326 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:11,797 I feel like everything I had is just gone, 327 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,966 and I don't know what I'm supposed to replace it with. 328 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:19,054 Honey, you're not supposed to replace it with anything. 329 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,725 You know, when your mother died, 330 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,727 I really had no idea of what my life 331 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:28,105 was supposed to look like without her. 332 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,232 So I didn't look. 333 00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,526 I didn't ask any questions that couldn't be answered. 334 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:36,321 I just got out of bed in the morning, 335 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,823 tried to do the things I loved, 336 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,366 see the people I loved, 337 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:45,080 and then, one day, I woke up and I realized... 338 00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:47,082 I was doing it. 339 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:49,918 I was being okay. 340 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,711 And you're gonna be okay, too. 341 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,922 [ Knock on door ] 342 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:56,383 Did I just miss some deep [bleep] 343 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:58,260 I did, didn't I? 344 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,262 Okay. 345 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,139 This is about Lisa Apple. 346 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,599 [ Sighs ] Listen. 347 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:06,143 I know that it's tough 348 00:12:06,184 --> 00:12:09,229 to watch her cuddle with Milo, but remember -- 349 00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,148 Lisa Apples come and go. 350 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:15,444 The bond between a mother and a child is forever. 351 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,112 You don't even speak to your mother. 352 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:18,947 That's because she's a raging bitch. 353 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:19,948 [ Chuckles ] 354 00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,284 But you aren't. 355 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,119 [ Knock on door ] 356 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,328 Hey, buddy. Toby. 357 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,205 [ Door closes ] Hello, there. 358 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,623 [ Sniffles ] 359 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,960 Guys, I don't want to dump on Lisa Apple. 360 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:33,712 I really don't. 361 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,047 The truth is, I resented her being here, 362 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,217 but she's been nothing but kind to the people I love. 363 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,096 She's a really great person. 364 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,143 I have to make a B.M. 365 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,145 Oh, God. Okay. 366 00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:52,230 Camille: Thank you. When you put it that way... 367 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,777 Mm. Martin: Yeah? 368 00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,029 Best pregnant foot rub in the West. 369 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,113 Am I right? 370 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,698 This is really pretty great. 371 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,451 Well, I've had three opportunities to perfect it. 372 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,911 Which reminds me, if you ever need a crib built, 373 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,413 I can pretty much do it blindfolded. 374 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,748 Yo! Martin! 375 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,500 Artie. Hey, I love the party. 376 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,043 Youthful energy. I love it. 377 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,836 Anyway, um, Camille wants me 378 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,922 to get some juice boxes out of the garage. 379 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:17,964 Can you give me a hand? 380 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,341 You can get it. 381 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:21,676 I hurt my back waving to my neighbor, so... 382 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,471 I'll be back. Thank you. 383 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,472 [ Grunts ] [ Chuckles ] 384 00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:26,473 Hi. 385 00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:28,099 Hi. 386 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,310 ♪♪ 387 00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:32,479 Arthur: Martin, what the hell were you doing in there? 388 00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,813 Rubbing Maya's feet. 389 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,024 And acting all goo-goo over her unborn child. 390 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,651 In two seconds, Lisa Apple's gonna think 391 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:38,860 you want to get her pregnant. 392 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,070 What? No. 393 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,321 Martin, trust me -- 394 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:42,989 I have become very good at anticipating 395 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,866 things that women will get mad at you for. 396 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:48,161 In fact, Camille's probably on her way in here right now 397 00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,829 because I'm taking too long with the juices. 398 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,915 Okay, look. Lisa and I just started dating. 399 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,542 That would be a pretty big leap. 400 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,378 And for the record, I'm not leaping there. 401 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,964 I have three kids who can wipe their own butts. 402 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,507 I'm -- I'm done. 403 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:02,092 Well, then stop waxing nostalgic 404 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,385 and swooning over Maya. [ Door opens ] 405 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,220 You guys painting 406 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,805 each other's toenails out here or what? 407 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,391 Let's go with those juices! 408 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,811 ♪♪ 409 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,145 I know what I'm talking about. 410 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,022 Mm-hmm. 411 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,317 [ Indistinct chatter ] 412 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,990 [ Martin sighs ] 413 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,491 Such a good dad. 414 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,701 I don't want any more children. 415 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,619 What? I'm done. 416 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,371 Shop's closed, so... 417 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,206 Oh. Okay. 418 00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:34,457 Well, I haven't asked, 419 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,334 but actually, that works out well, 420 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,502 'cause with our age difference, 421 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,753 by the time I want to have kids, 422 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:40,088 you'll probably be dead anyway. 423 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,631 Yeah. Yeah. 424 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:42,757 That's awesome. 425 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,092 [ Laughs ] 426 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:46,428 ♪♪ 427 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,637 Did you hear that? 428 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,556 Uh-huh. 429 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,433 Stick a fork in 'em. 430 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,892 Hey. 431 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,687 Uh, Jasper number 1, Isaac, Oscar, Kevin -- 432 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,230 your folks are here! Let's go! 433 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:59,065 Here are your goodie bags. 434 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,191 Thank you. 435 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:02,944 I have some candy in here, 436 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,614 and I also included some literature on consent. 437 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:06,865 Thank you, ma'am. 438 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,869 Hey, I'm Basil. I'm here for Hazel. 439 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,454 Hazel, it's Basil! 440 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,580 Oh, hey, Base. Sup, Mase? 441 00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:15,123 Later, Haze. 442 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,626 My brain's gonna explode. 443 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,377 Hey, Milo. 444 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,379 Are you leaving? 445 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,798 [ Space alien voice ] I have a long journey home. 446 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,468 Your Earth party was most enjoyable. 447 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:27,969 Snickle-zorf mong! 448 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,722 Zorf mong li kling-klon. Zorf mong li kling-klon! 449 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,641 Zorf mong li kling-klon. 450 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:33,808 Martin: Blasting off, babe? 451 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,518 [ Normal voice ] Oh. Yeah. 452 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,853 Okay. 453 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,355 I'll text you later after clean-up. 454 00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,648 Oh. I can handle clean-up. 455 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,149 You guys can both blast off. 456 00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,567 No, no. 457 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,985 I wouldn't let you clean all this up on your own. 458 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,445 Oh, please. 459 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,113 I'm more than accustomed to cleaning up on my own. 460 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,531 It sounds like Martin 461 00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,158 really wants to stick around and help, so... 462 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,243 Thank you, again, Lena, for having me. 463 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,913 Oh, you were so great with Milo today. 464 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,915 Really. Thank you, Lisa. 465 00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,085 Thank you, Lena, for saying that. 466 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,670 Yeah. Oh, hey. 467 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,171 Can I get a picture of you with the sister wives? 468 00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,798 Oh, my gosh. Of course. 469 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,091 ♪♪ 470 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,884 -Oh. -Smile. 471 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:09,344 [ Camera shutter clicking ] Wow. Look at that. 472 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:10,929 Cheese. 473 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,514 [ Doorbell rings ] 474 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,393 Hi. Come on in. Hey. 475 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,770 [ Door closes ] 476 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,397 Ugh. So wet out there. 477 00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,856 Hi. Hi. 478 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,608 Hi. Um, I'm Jasper's dad. 479 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,026 My ex was supposed to pick up, 480 00:16:25,068 --> 00:16:26,861 but she got stuck, so... 481 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,029 Are you Milo's mom? 482 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:29,614 No. No, no. 483 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:30,782 I'm Auntie Maya. 484 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:33,201 I'm single Auntie Maya. 485 00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:36,162 Jasper number 2 isn't ready yet! 486 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,790 That's okay. Me neither. 487 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,875 You want some coffee? 488 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,210 I'd love that. 489 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,461 Okay. 490 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:47,006 ♪♪ 491 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,801 Lena: So, was it a great party? 492 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,678 I miss Josh. 493 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,805 I know, honey. Me too. Really? 494 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,182 What do you miss about him the most? 495 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,309 For me, it's his smile. 496 00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,228 You know what? 497 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,147 I think there's one other present 498 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,440 you haven't opened yet. 499 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:06,526 ♪♪ 500 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,912 It's Josh! 501 00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:20,540 It's Josh reincarnated 502 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,293 into a stuffed animal that has his soul. 503 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,836 Do you like it? 504 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,254 I know it wasn't on your list, but do you like it? 505 00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,715 I love it, Mom, and I love you, too. 506 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,175 I love you more. 507 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,801 Happy birthday. 508 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,220 Mom? Mm-hmm. 509 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,055 Will you lay with me until I fall asleep? 510 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,515 You know what? 511 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,684 I would love to lay with you until you fall asleep, 512 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:40,935 but there's a very good chance 513 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,437 that I'm gonna fall asleep first. 514 00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,564 Move over. Can you say that in alien, Mom? 515 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:45,940 Oh. 516 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:48,777 Um...Saoirse Ronan. 517 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,361 I love Saoirse Ronan. 518 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,988 Good night, Mom. Good night, Josh. 519 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,115 Good night, sweetie. 520 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,117 ♪♪ 521 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,787 There you go. Thank you. 522 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,163 Lena: Hey. 523 00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,289 Hey. Hey. Hi. 524 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:02,457 You fall asleep up there? 525 00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:03,458 No. 526 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,709 [ Chuckles ] You liar. 527 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,419 You guys, thank you so much. 528 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,630 The house looks amazing. You didn't have to do that. 529 00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,298 Just gonna take the trash out. 530 00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,382 Excuse me. Lena: Good night. 531 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,467 Good night. 532 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,804 Okay, I'm calling it. Yep! 533 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:16,805 Calling what? 534 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,640 Lisa Apple? 535 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,434 Not long for this world. Oh, you guys. 536 00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,269 He told her that he didn't want to have kids with her. 537 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,270 He did? 538 00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,022 Mm-hmm, and then he cringed 539 00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:29,651 when she made that annoying, possibly racist alien voice. 540 00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,319 Okay. That doesn't mean -- 541 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,529 And it's 9:00 at night. 542 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,738 Why isn't he out with her? 543 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,449 I don't know, but thank you very much. 544 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,326 I'm gonna bang out these dishes and go to bed. 545 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:39,661 Good night, Mama. 546 00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:41,538 [ Gasps ] Hey! I can say that to you now. 547 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,122 Mwah! Good night, Mama! I know. 548 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,958 Mwah! Good night, Mama. 549 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,669 Good night, Mama. 550 00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:49,212 And you're driving, Mama, 551 00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,338 'cause I'm a little buzzed. [ Door opens ] 552 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,506 [ Laughs ] [ Door closes ] 553 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,179 [ Sighs ] Need someone to dry? 554 00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,472 [ Exhales sharply ] 555 00:18:59,514 --> 00:19:00,849 I thought you were in the garage. 556 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,100 You scared me. 557 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,393 Sorry. 558 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,311 I still forget you're not expecting me. 559 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,023 What are you doing? No, Martin. 560 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,567 You did enough. 561 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:11,860 Seriously. You're off the hook. 562 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,653 I don't want to be off the hook. 563 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:17,448 We co-hosted this event, so this is my mess, too. 564 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,908 All right, fine. 565 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,910 Then get involved, you slacker. 566 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,289 Today felt really good, 567 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,999 all of us being in the house together again. 568 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,834 Yeah. 569 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:31,754 And...Lisa is awesome, I have to admit. 570 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:36,634 I caught her comforting Milo when he was upset, and... 571 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,011 she is a pretty special person. 572 00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,971 Well, I do have incredibly good taste. 573 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:45,894 You know, we were married for a very long time. 574 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:48,980 And I thought I knew everything there was to know about you. 575 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,274 In fact, I used to pride myself 576 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:52,901 on knowing exactly how 577 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,653 you would handle any given situation. 578 00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:58,990 You surprised me today. 579 00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:02,118 [ Plate thuds ] 580 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:06,164 Still have some tricks up these rubber gloves, I guess. 581 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,917 Um...this is dirty. 582 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,084 You're better than that. 583 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,878 What? 584 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,005 I mean, it's just going in a cabinet for a year. 585 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,757 I know. 586 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,425 ♪♪ 587 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:20,511 ♪ Float down the river ♪ 588 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,640 ♪ We pass by each other ♪ 589 00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:29,228 ♪ It's a great big world of light ♪ 590 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,319 ♪♪ 591 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:43,534 [ Sighs ] 592 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,536 [ Plug rattling ] What are you doing? 593 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,080 Oh. [ Chuckles ] 594 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,706 I was gonna get going, 595 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,709 and, um, I just wanted to get my phone charger. 596 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,336 I didn't want to leave anything behind. 597 00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,088 Because... 598 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:58,925 Because I didn't want to assume we'd be seeing each other again. 599 00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,636 Well, I already assumed that. 600 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:03,596 [ Gasps ] Really? 601 00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:04,973 Yeah. 602 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:07,517 [ Gasps ] 603 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:10,937 Child: Dad! I want some gluten-free waffles! 604 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,482 10 more years, and he's out of here. 605 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:15,817 [ Both laugh ] 606 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,485 And don't worry -- he's my last one. 607 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:20,238 ♪♪ 608 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,203 Anyway... 40885

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