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1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,296
-I think you do.
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,589
But it also has creatine.
3
00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,299
And
4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:10,428
Well, yeah, I do, but I
also want liver function.
5
00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:12,805
Well, don't call me
crying from your plateau.
6
00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,057
Stop pretending that you
know about this stuff.
7
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:18,310
When we first got divorced,
we weren't nearly this chummy,
8
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,603
but time had passed.
9
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:20,980
Okay, hot oven!
10
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,982
Martin:
Things have become chill.
11
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,859
Mmm, cinnamon!
Nice touch, Mom!
12
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:28,237
We were both thankful, and so
was the rest of the family.
13
00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,364
Because even though
we were no longer together...
14
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:33,492
It just made sense for us
to do things together.
15
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,995
Football time for me, guys.
I will clean up later.
16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,663
I promise.
I promise.
17
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,833
Which made every day feel
like Christmas morning.
18
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,877
We need to get
batteries for that.
19
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:46,213
Anybody want anything?
- I'll have a mimosa.
20
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,757
Kids, school!
21
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,050
And by the time spring
rolled around...
22
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,761
We were total buds.
23
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:54,638
It was hard to believe,
but we'd recovered from...
24
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,849
I am done!
I am done with this group.
25
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,851
That fight changed us.
26
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,269
You deserve someone who...
27
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,855
I realized I wasn't
ready to be dating.
28
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:05,608
And I realized I was.
29
00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:10,070
♪ When I'm feeling blue ♪
30
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,072
Lisa?
31
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,365
- Oh, hey!
- Hey.
32
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,159
Martin, right?
You're Milo's dad.
33
00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:17,161
Amongst other things.
34
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,871
Such as?
35
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,706
Lover of romaine.
36
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:21,874
It is a great lettuce.
37
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,375
Yes.
38
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,796
♪ Nothing seems to matter ♪
39
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:27,922
♪ My whole world... ♪
40
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:29,673
Why are they playing this song?
41
00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:30,800
I don't know.
42
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,219
I feel weirdly emotional.
43
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,095
Oh. Well, here.
44
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,347
Oh!
45
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,933
So, how's Milo?
46
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,893
Uh, oh, good. He's...
He's good. He, uh...
47
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,853
Going into second grade,
so he made it.
48
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,064
I always felt bad I couldn't
help more with his issue.
49
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,233
Oh, what with the peeing
in the flower bed thing?
50
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,109
Oh, he stopped that
on his own months ago.
51
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,861
Kid's got a bright future.
52
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:53,697
No, I meant the whole
"serial-killer" handwriting.
53
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,616
Oh, right. Yeah. That.
54
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,743
I kept telling your
wife his penmanship
55
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,119
was totally age-appropriate.
56
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,764
Well, I kept telling her
we're all gonna be
57
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:02,248
speaking Mandarin soon, right?
58
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:05,292
So, who cares?
- Apparently she did.
59
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,920
She did.
60
00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:10,089
So, you've been good?
61
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,715
Me? Very!
62
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:13,425
Very good.
63
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,552
Not that good.
64
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,720
No, Lena and I s-separated.
65
00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,764
Actually, we divorced,
66
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:22,142
and we're living
together still for now,
67
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,144
but divorcedly so.
68
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,521
That's not a word.
69
00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:27,982
I ramble when I...
When I get nervous.
70
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:30,359
I'm... I'm divorced.
71
00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:31,944
Okay.
72
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,779
Well, my number's still good.
73
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,281
Give me a call if you ever feel
74
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,949
like getting brunch
or something.
75
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,535
Oh, yeah! I always feel like
getting brunch or something.
76
00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:41,120
I... But I never, ever do.
77
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,539
Maybe you should change that.
78
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:49,628
Ugh. Was that
Lisa Apple?
79
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,797
God, we hated her.
80
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,382
Did we?
81
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:56,552
Yeah. Remember those big,
fake glasses she used to wear?
82
00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:58,178
Ugh, and she was so
"holier than thou."
83
00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,680
She was always
giving us kid advice
84
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,140
even though she
doesn't have kids.
85
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,558
Well, she is a tutor.
86
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,643
What does that mean?
She's not a very good tutor.
87
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,162
How much money
did we pay her for Milo
88
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,147
to still write like
the Zodiac Killer?
89
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,483
Hm, I didn't realize how
strongly we felt about her.
90
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,569
Well, we did.
91
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,654
Thank God she's not
in our lives anymore.
92
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,657
Yeah. Thank God.
93
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:23,996
♪ Keep giving me hope
for a better day ♪
94
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:27,166
♪ Keep giving me love
to find a way ♪
95
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,502
♪ Through this heaviness
I feel ♪
96
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:36,800
♪ I just need someone to say
everything's okay ♪
97
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:39,929
♪ Everything's okay ♪
98
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,139
Hey, Mom. I signed you up for
the bake sale at school,
99
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:44,141
and it has to be something good.
100
00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:45,392
So, dig deep.
101
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,810
Oh, can I pitch you some ideas?
102
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,228
Go.
103
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,772
What about one of those rainbow
104
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,357
No, Eric's mom is
already doing that.
105
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:52,691
It's all over her Pinterest.
106
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,568
You follow Eric's
mom on Pinterest?
107
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:56,528
She has great boards.
108
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,865
Oh! How about this...
I reinvent a classic.
109
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,992
I like where this is going.
110
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,370
Sea-salt dusted brondie.
111
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,955
-Brondie.
112
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,207
I-Is that even a word
or did you just coin that?
113
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,726
Oh, my gosh. I think
I just coined that.
114
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,169
And the Nobel Prize
for brondies goes to...
115
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,801
A lot of homework?
116
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:21,595
Just an English paper
on female role models
117
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,347
called "Nevertheless."
118
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,265
We have to complete the phrase
119
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:27,744
by writing something remarkable
our female role model has done.
120
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,187
Oh, well, if you need
to interview me,
121
00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:31,355
I'm available.
122
00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:32,690
I chose Maya.
123
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:33,941
Maya Angelou?
124
00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:36,193
Aunt Maya.
She's a trailblazer.
125
00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:37,903
Uh, what has she ever blazed
126
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,447
besides those weed cigarettes
for her "anxiety."
127
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,199
It's more about
what she doesn't do,
128
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,617
which is conform
to the antiquated
129
00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,703
cis-gender norms
of patriarchal society.
130
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,204
Okay, if this is
an English paper,
131
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:49,289
you should start
by speaking English.
132
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,709
She decided to have
a kid on her own.
133
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,085
We should celebrate that.
134
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,546
Celebrate her decision
to have baby?
135
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:56,922
She hasn't even done it yet.
136
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,967
I've been boots on
the ground for 15 years!
137
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:01,760
Yeah, but, Mom, it's 2018,
138
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,054
and you still get giddy
about bake sales
139
00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:06,807
and stocking the pantry
with apple juice.
140
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:09,476
I'm sorry, but you're
part of the problem.
141
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:10,936
I'm part of the problem?
142
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,688
You don't wanna shatter
the glass ceiling.
143
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,816
You want to clean it
with Windex.
144
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,109
Okay.
145
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,987
First of all, I make
my own window cleaner
146
00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,573
with a combination
of white distilled vinegar
147
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,158
and freshly squeezed
lemon juice,
148
00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,219
and the fresh lemon juice is
the most important part!
149
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:30,039
Okay, listen, we're gonna finish
this conversation later!
150
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:35,878
Oh, man! Look at all these
people having brunch.
151
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,421
Is brunch funny?
152
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,882
It is to me. I haven't had
brunch in 15 years.
153
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,925
- You must be starving.
- I am.
154
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,594
Oh, thank you.
155
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,554
Thank you.
156
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:46,680
Uh-oh.
157
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,432
Something wrong?
158
00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:51,769
You ordered pico on the side.
That is pico on the top.
159
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,479
Oh, no biggie.
160
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,731
Huh
161
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,441
You don't wanna send it back?
162
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:58,984
Or make me send it back
163
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,195
so the waiter doesn't hate
you for sending it back?
164
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,072
'Cause I will.
I-I can get her over here.
165
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,532
No. All ends up
in the same place.
166
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,535
♪♪
167
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,705
It... It does end up
in the same place.
168
00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:13,874
That's exactly right!
169
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,418
Were you in a long-term marriage
or an underground bunker?
170
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,088
I am starting to wonder.
171
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:22,758
And I'm seeing
the world through...
172
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,301
brand-new eyes.
173
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:26,720
You are?
174
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:33,811
I'm noticing things that
I've never noticed before.
175
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,188
Me
176
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,273
I am noticing
the hell out of you.
177
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:43,320
♪♪
178
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,613
Is this okay?
179
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:47,116
I'll tell you in a second.
180
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:50,452
♪♪
181
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:54,289
♪♪
182
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,416
Yep, it is.
183
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,960
Were you wearing those glasses
184
00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,504
when I saw you the other
day at the market?
185
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:02,840
I'm sure I was.
They're my glasses.
186
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:05,008
Yeah.
They're your glasses.
187
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,594
Come on.
188
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,849
Wow!
189
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:16,353
Look at all this stuff.
Dad really saved everything.
190
00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:20,649
Including Mom.
She looks great, though.
191
00:07:20,691 --> 00:07:21,942
Can I have her?
192
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:26,989
She always hated
physical affection.
193
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,992
- Yeah.
- Sorry, Mom.
194
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,536
Yes, every awkward
phase of your lives
195
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:35,330
has been lovingly preserved.
196
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,000
You're welcome, girls.
197
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,127
What are we even
looking for here?
198
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,503
I don't know.
199
00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,338
Something that proves
that before I was a mom
200
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,675
and just momming all the time,
that I was a female role model.
201
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:49,261
-Oh, look!
202
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,638
My old Girl Scout sash!
I got every badge.
203
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,224
Uh, that's my Halloween
costume from college.
204
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,310
These are joke badges.
205
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,395
See? This one's
for binge drinking.
206
00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:00,230
I earned a lot of
those sophomore year.
207
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:03,233
Okay, fine.
So I'm not a role model.
208
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,527
Not a Michelle or a Malala
or an Amal
209
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,988
or a Hillary or an Oprah
or even a Gayle.
210
00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,823
If Mae did a report on me,
211
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:13,952
it'd probably be titled
"Nevertheless, she did dishes."
212
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,246
Uh, I think you're being
a little hard on yourself.
213
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:18,123
Well, that's easy
for you to say.
214
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:22,878
She picked you.
Mae is doing her essay on you.
215
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,465
Really?
Wow, I don't even like Mae.
216
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,091
Ditto.
217
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,594
I'm just kidding.
She's wonderfully acerbic.
218
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:32,429
I mean, could they
be less grateful?
219
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:35,682
Come on. All kids are rotten.
You know that. Especially girls.
220
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,768
Besides, Mae is wrong about you.
221
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,103
As I recall, you had
a great deal of gumption.
222
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,855
- Gumption!
- Sure.
223
00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:43,440
You were early to
join the workforce.
224
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,150
Uh-huh.
You in high school.
225
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,528
Didn't you work
in that mailbox store?
226
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,280
It was a FedEx Kinkos.
227
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,116
And I'm the only employee
who survived the merger.
228
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,451
There you go!
229
00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:56,161
Well, my daughter
doesn't look up to me.
230
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:59,915
In fact, she looks down on me.
Why? Because I take care of her.
231
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,668
So, tonight, I'm gonna
teach her a lesson.
232
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,341
Big date alert!
My buddy's getting laid tonight.
233
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,426
First time in two years.
- Hot damn.
234
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,303
Hey. Can you not
tell people that?
235
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:16,848
Come on, man. Don't worry.
It's a code of silence in here.
236
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,310
So, what did Lena say about you
going out with Lisa Apple?
237
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:21,853
I didn't tell her.
238
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,748
Martin, you and Lena are
in a good place right now.
239
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,375
What are you...
She didn't tell me
who she was dating.
240
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,150
Lena has history
with this woman.
241
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:30,070
She finds out that you're
doing stuff behind her back,
242
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,822
there will be blood.
243
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,925
Full disclosure is the key
to all healthy relationships.
244
00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:36,243
Yeah.
What do you think, A
245
00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:39,329
- Let me run it by Camille.
- You got it.
246
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:42,541
And that is how it's done.
247
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,629
Hey, baby. Cy's gonna send you
a photo of my new haircut.
248
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,964
Approve please.
249
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,343
Hey, gang.
250
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:55,721
So, I'm out.
251
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,514
-I'm out.
252
00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,391
I feel like too much
of my identity
253
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,976
is wrapped in being a mom,
254
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,978
so I'm gon' go get turnt.
255
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,439
That's hilarious.
256
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,149
Mae, how do I look?
257
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,526
Like someone who wants to
regarded as a sexual object
258
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,278
rather than
a three-dimensional person.
259
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,699
Oh, you are so second wave
sometimes, Mae.
260
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,869
Hey. What about my bake
sale tomorrow
261
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:21,496
The recipe and ingredients
are on the kitchen counter.
262
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,707
You're 14 and almost 16.
263
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,375
I had a job when I was your age.
264
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,420
So, I heard. She worked
in a mailbox store.
265
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,590
Hey! It was a FedEx Kinkos.
266
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,925
And I survived the merger!
267
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,304
♪♪
268
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,764
Derek: So, where we going
tonight?
269
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,575
Actually I just need you
to drive around the block
270
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,060
for like an hour so that my kids
think I'm out on the town.
271
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,561
They You... You...
272
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,064
You all dressed up
to not go out on the town?
273
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:48,482
What's up with that?
274
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,233
My daughter thinks
I'm a bad role model.
275
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,319
Look, you need to stop
worrying about Little Mama
276
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:55,030
and start worrying
about Big Mama.
Big Mama?
277
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:57,616
Look, you looking all good.
You better go and hit that club.
278
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,534
And I ain't talking
about no Sam's.
279
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:02,162
- Are you talking about...
- The club club.
280
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:04,581
The clurb.
281
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:05,707
Huh.
282
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,918
The clurb.
283
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,505
Yeah, I don't think
Big Mama can do that.
284
00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:15,217
Can Big Mama?
285
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,721
It's getting kinda dark.
Why's it getting so dark?
286
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:22,224
Because that's what happens
when the sun goes down.
287
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,684
Why is nobody taking care of me?
288
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:26,727
Who's there?
289
00:11:27,813 --> 00:11:29,064
What was that?
290
00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:30,649
Milo, stop rolling
around for a second.
291
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,194
Milo isn't here.
292
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:36,571
Tell me you heard that.
293
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:37,989
Okay.
294
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,950
Since I am the oldest
and least stupid,
295
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,743
everyone follow me.
296
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,703
-Somewhere safe.
297
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,542
Everybody in.
298
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:51,920
This will be our panic room
until Mom gets home.
299
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:54,714
Good call. If we get hungry,
we can eat Mom's insoles.
300
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,801
And if we get bored, we can
journey into the dark web.
301
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,306
♪ Blame it on the
a-a-a-alcohol ♪
302
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,724
♪ Blame it on the vodka ♪
303
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,476
♪ Blame it on the Henny ♪
304
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,812
♪ Blame it on the blue tap,
got you feeling dizzy ♪
305
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,606
♪ Blame it on the a-a-alcohol ♪
306
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,317
♪ Blame it on the a-a-alcohol ♪
307
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,154
Hey, this place is pretty lit!
308
00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,655
We're not really open yet.
309
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,199
Still, it's pretty lit.
310
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:26,371
Oh, my God.
I love this song!
311
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,581
Turn it up! Turn it up!
312
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,584
♪♪
313
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,961
♪ On the floors of Tokyo ♪
314
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,839
♪ or down in London Town
to go, go ♪
315
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:38,800
♪ With the record selection
and the mirror's reflection ♪
316
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,219
♪ I'm dancing with myself ♪
317
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:44,014
♪ When there's no
one else in sight ♪
318
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:46,683
♪ In the crowded lonely night ♪
319
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:49,519
♪ Well, I wait so long
for my love vibration ♪
320
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,522
♪ And I'm dancing
with myself, oh, oh ♪
321
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,192
♪ Dancing with myself, oh, oh ♪
322
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,569
♪ Dancing with myself ♪
323
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,237
♪ Well, there's nothing
to prove ♪
324
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,574
♪ And there's nothing to lose ♪
325
00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:06,036
God, what am I doing here?
326
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:09,372
Zoey:
Hello
327
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:10,373
Can you hear me?
328
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,708
Yes.
329
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,878
I drank too much
and it's your fault.
330
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,379
My fault?
331
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,216
Because you were rude to me!
332
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,884
-I... Yes, you were!
333
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:24,304
Tell me the truth.
Do you want to break up with me?
334
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:25,555
Do you?
335
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,140
Hold on a sec.
336
00:13:31,102 --> 00:13:33,021
-Oh, God.
337
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,363
Hold on, honey. Come on.
Hold on. I'm coming in.
338
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,744
Heey. Hi.
339
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:50,580
Oh, God.
340
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:51,915
Hi.
341
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:55,126
Hi. Okay.
342
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,587
Ooh, wow.
343
00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:00,340
How are you
this drunk at 6:45?
344
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:02,425
I don't think he loves me.
345
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,053
Oh, oh, it's okay.
346
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:07,305
No, it isn't!
I love him.
347
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,100
Like, I'm in love with him.
348
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,309
I need his kisses.
349
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,310
No, you don't.
350
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,478
I need kisses.
351
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,938
No, you don't.
352
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,457
- I needed kisses.
- Stop. Stop saying "kisses".
353
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,066
I need kisses.
354
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:21,736
Listen. What you need is
a wet wipe, some Advil,
355
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,655
and a travel-sized
bottle of mouthwash.
356
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,575
Oh, my God. That purse
has everything.
357
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:27,617
It's magical.
358
00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,412
Okay.
You're magical. You are.
359
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:34,124
Yeah, and it's time that
you embrace that, okay?
360
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:38,169
If we are going to give away
the best parts of ourselves,
361
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,965
then it better to someone
who deserves it.
362
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,467
Alright?
Because you're great.
363
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,760
I'm great.
364
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,013
Here.
365
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:51,057
You have a little ranch
on your dress.
366
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,559
God, I hope it's ranch.
367
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,356
I bet you'd be
a really great mom.
368
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,858
You know what?
369
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,110
I am a great mom.
370
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:09,326
Oh, come...
You're going to be okay.
371
00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:11,745
Things are going to be okay.
372
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,913
They are, you know?
373
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,167
Hello?
374
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,421
Oh, my God.
375
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,653
Did you hear that?
Did you hear that, Mae?
376
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:28,970
Yes, I did.
377
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,139
- Stranger danger!
- Please don't kill us!
378
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,186
How did you know
we were in here?
379
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,687
Milo texted me.
380
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:40,190
Are you here to help me
with my homework?
381
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:43,068
♪♪
382
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,367
Okay, so, what happened to Mom?
383
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,451
She just went AWOL.
384
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,370
She didn't go AWOL!
385
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:57,332
Why are you yelling? You don't
even know what "AWOL" means.
386
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,376
I'd like to believe our mother
has embarked
387
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,544
on a spiritual journey
to discover who she is
388
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:04,297
outside of the label
she uses to define herself.
389
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,007
On the eve of my bake sale.
390
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,051
Okay, stop talking, all of you.
391
00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:09,552
I hope you little rats know
392
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,434
that the only reason anything
ever good happens
393
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,264
in this house
is because of your mother.
394
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,183
Every birthday, every Christmas.
395
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,560
If it were up to me,
you would all live unfed
396
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,230
and unclothed in the yard.
397
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,398
Now do your homework.
398
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,440
I did my homework.
399
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,068
Can you make dinner?
400
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:27,737
Hey, don't ask her.
She's not here for you.
401
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,406
She's here for me.
402
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:30,573
Gross.
403
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,036
I will make dinner.
404
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:37,872
Hey, can you also make
brondies for my bake sale?
405
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,833
-Yeah.
406
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:40,917
Lisa: Martin.
407
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:46,047
Bake sale?
This is going to be a disaster.
408
00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:49,509
The only baking I do
is directly after waking.
409
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:50,719
I'm not a baker.
410
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,804
Lucky for you,
this little lady is.
411
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,889
-No, not me. Her.
412
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,434
Grandma Flour's Bakery
is only 1.3 miles away.
413
00:16:57,475 --> 00:17:03,314
They have 160 five-star reviews
and their specialty is brownies.
414
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,775
I don't know. Lena always
bakes from scratch.
415
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,861
Why make things harder
than they have to be?
416
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,071
♪♪
417
00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:14,284
"Why make things harder
than they have to be?"
418
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,494
Kids,
I'm going 1.3 miles.
419
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,246
You guys going to be okay
for a minute?
420
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,247
We'll be fine.
421
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:20,248
Uh, keys.
422
00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,958
Oh, there.
423
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,920
♪♪
424
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,213
I want to kiss you right now,
425
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:28,631
but I can't
because of these kids.
426
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,259
♪♪
427
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,181
Lisa: You're so funny.
428
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,057
Oh, hello.
429
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,392
Hi, Lena.
430
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:41,436
- Lisa Apple's here.
- Dad invited her.
431
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,229
Oh!
432
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,939
Lisa, Lisa.
433
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,275
And the Cult Jam.
434
00:17:47,317 --> 00:17:50,236
You're looking
very scholarly tonight.
435
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:53,573
Uh, I didn't realize
that Martin had hired you
436
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:56,534
to help with the kids,
so what do we owe you?
437
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,704
♪♪
438
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:03,333
♪♪
439
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:07,504
What'd we say... we said $13?
440
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:09,339
- Yep.
- One, two, $12.
441
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,757
It was $12.
442
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,842
♪♪
443
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:14,260
Lena, where the hell were you?
444
00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,679
I was trying to
teach Mae a lesson.
445
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,033
And I do think those kids are
ready for more responsibility.
446
00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:20,433
I mean, when I was
their age, I...
447
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:22,644
Both:
#SurvivedTheMerger.
448
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,521
We know.
449
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:27,857
But I agree, those kids should
be fending for themselves.
450
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:30,443
And I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about Lisa Apple.
451
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,695
I didn't want you to know
that Lisa was a thing
452
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,197
until I knew that
Lisa was a thing.
453
00:18:34,239 --> 00:18:35,591
And I certainly didn't
want to bring her
454
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,950
around the kids that early.
455
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,577
It's okay.
It's Lisa Apple.
456
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,330
You get to be with
someone young and fun.
457
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,375
And I get to find out why she
wears those ridiculous glasses.
458
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,961
I'm really glad that
we can have this conversation
459
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:49,254
without fighting.
460
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,256
Me, too. We're good.
461
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,299
We are good.
462
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,760
Okay, well, we're gonna...
We're gonna get going.
463
00:18:55,802 --> 00:19:00,056
We?
Oh, Lisa Apple and you.
464
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:01,516
Right.
465
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,357
Mae: Mom?
466
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:12,277
Mae?
467
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,570
You okay?
468
00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,655
No.
469
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:23,413
I'm a bad feminist
and daughter, too.
470
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:27,000
What?
Why would you say that?
471
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,043
I mom-shamed you,
472
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,963
which isn't at all in the
spirit of the movement.
473
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,007
Oh, it's okay, sweetie.
474
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,801
No, it isn't.
475
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,013
And although I want you
to break free
476
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:42,098
of the domestic
chains that bind you...
477
00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,058
Nothing is binding me.
478
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:47,729
No one is binding me, okay?
479
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:50,064
I chose to do things this way.
480
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:53,776
Work part-time so that
I can be home with you kids.
481
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:56,070
And I think I'm doing
a pretty good job
482
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:58,239
because look at how cool
you turned out.
483
00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:00,992
I know an entire cheerleading
squad that would beg to differ.
484
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,411
Who cares about
the cheerleading squad?
485
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:06,456
It's the band geeks who are
going to be running the world.
486
00:20:06,497 --> 00:20:09,125
The band geeks hate me, too.
487
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:12,670
Sorry I acted like being
a mom wasn't important.
488
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,590
I really didn't like how it felt
when you weren't home tonight.
489
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:21,387
Because, nevertheless...
490
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,681
she makes everyone feel safe.
491
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:30,647
Wait, why would
the band geeks hate you?
492
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,274
I licked the clarinet
player's reed.
493
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:36,945
♪♪
494
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:44,702
Wow.
495
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,329
Yeah.
496
00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:48,456
That was worth
more than 12 bucks.
497
00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,041
Gee, thanks.
498
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:52,669
No, I'm serious.
You could go pro.
499
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:55,338
Your pillow talk
could use some work.
500
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,674
Ugh, I'm sorry.
501
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,595
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry...
502
00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:07,517
for what happened at our house
with Lena and the kids.
503
00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:10,353
I know that's not what
either of us had in mind.
504
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,854
Oh, what are you going to do?
505
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,439
It is what it is.
506
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,360
"It is what it is".
507
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:19,737
I love this woman's outlook!
508
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:23,992
♪♪
509
00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:26,035
♪♪
35759
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