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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,923 --> 00:00:04,172 - Do I need that much protein? - I think you do. 2 00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:05,586 But it also has creatine. 3 00:00:05,592 --> 00:00:07,340 And? You want gainz? 4 00:00:07,346 --> 00:00:09,996 Well, yeah, I do, but I also want liver function. 5 00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:12,532 Well, don't call me crying from your plateau. 6 00:00:12,539 --> 00:00:14,773 Stop pretending that you know about this stuff. 7 00:00:14,779 --> 00:00:17,735 When we first got divorced, we weren't nearly this chummy, 8 00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:19,168 but time had passed. 9 00:00:19,175 --> 00:00:20,509 Okay, hot oven! 10 00:00:20,515 --> 00:00:21,942 Things have become chill. 11 00:00:22,535 --> 00:00:24,384 Mmm, cinnamon! Nice touch, Mom! 12 00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:27,925 We were both thankful, and so was the rest of the family. 13 00:00:27,931 --> 00:00:29,966 Because even though we were no longer together... 14 00:00:29,972 --> 00:00:32,836 It just made sense for us to do things together. 15 00:00:33,038 --> 00:00:34,553 Football time for me, guys. 16 00:00:34,559 --> 00:00:37,139 I will clean up later. I promise. I promise. 17 00:00:37,227 --> 00:00:40,884 Which made every day feel like Christmas morning. 18 00:00:41,121 --> 00:00:43,970 We need to get batteries for that. Anybody want anything? 19 00:00:43,976 --> 00:00:45,723 I'll have a mimosa, if you're making them. 20 00:00:45,802 --> 00:00:47,236 Kids, school! 21 00:00:47,242 --> 00:00:49,481 And by the time spring rolled around... 22 00:00:49,557 --> 00:00:51,038 We were total buds. 23 00:00:51,497 --> 00:00:54,256 It was hard to believe, but we'd recovered from... 24 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:56,497 I am done! I am done with the scrutiny. 25 00:00:56,503 --> 00:00:58,132 That fight changed us. 26 00:00:58,138 --> 00:01:00,409 - You deserve someone who feels that way about you. - I realized... 27 00:01:00,416 --> 00:01:02,141 I wasn't ready to be dating. 28 00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,593 And I realized I was. 29 00:01:06,131 --> 00:01:09,185 ♪ When I'm feeling blue ♪ 30 00:01:09,191 --> 00:01:11,538 - ♪ All I have to do... ♪ - Lisa? 31 00:01:11,544 --> 00:01:13,378 - Oh, hey! Martin, right? - Hey. 32 00:01:13,384 --> 00:01:14,646 You're Milo's dad. 33 00:01:14,918 --> 00:01:16,547 Amongst other things. 34 00:01:16,553 --> 00:01:17,791 Such as? 35 00:01:18,071 --> 00:01:19,823 Lover of romaine. 36 00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:22,288 - It is a great lettuce. - Yes. 37 00:01:22,602 --> 00:01:26,066 ♪ Nothing seems to matter ♪ 38 00:01:26,072 --> 00:01:28,933 - ♪ My whole world could shatter... ♪ - Why are they playing this song? 39 00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:31,038 - I don't know. - I feel... 40 00:01:31,044 --> 00:01:33,972 - weirdly emotional. - Oh. Well, here. 41 00:01:34,317 --> 00:01:35,542 Oh! 42 00:01:36,503 --> 00:01:37,811 So, how's Milo? 43 00:01:37,817 --> 00:01:39,451 Uh, oh, good. He's... he's good. 44 00:01:39,457 --> 00:01:41,822 He, uh... Going into second grade, so he made it. 45 00:01:41,828 --> 00:01:44,162 I always felt bad I couldn't help more with his issue. 46 00:01:44,168 --> 00:01:46,325 Oh, what with the peeing in the flower bed thing? 47 00:01:46,332 --> 00:01:48,258 No, he stopped that on his own months ago. 48 00:01:48,264 --> 00:01:49,997 The kid's got a bright future. 49 00:01:50,003 --> 00:01:52,804 No, I meant the whole "serial-killer" handwriting. 50 00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:54,727 Oh, right. Yeah. That. 51 00:01:54,733 --> 00:01:58,321 I kept telling your wife his penmanship was totally age-appropriate. 52 00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,533 Yeah, well, I kept telling her we're all gonna be speaking Mandarin 53 00:02:00,539 --> 00:02:03,195 - soon, right? So, who cares? - Apparently she did. 54 00:02:04,092 --> 00:02:05,318 She did. 55 00:02:06,851 --> 00:02:08,792 So, you've been good? 56 00:02:08,798 --> 00:02:10,109 Me? Very! 57 00:02:10,503 --> 00:02:11,728 Very good. 58 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:15,794 Not that good. No, Lena and I s-separated. 59 00:02:16,191 --> 00:02:17,684 Actually, we... we divorced, 60 00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:21,056 and we're living together still for now, 61 00:02:21,062 --> 00:02:24,113 but divorcedly so. That's not a word. 62 00:02:24,119 --> 00:02:26,739 I ramble when I... when I get nervous. 63 00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:28,474 I'm... I'm divorced. 64 00:02:28,996 --> 00:02:30,232 Okay. 65 00:02:30,663 --> 00:02:32,578 Well, my number's still good. 66 00:02:32,784 --> 00:02:35,753 Give me a call if you ever feel like getting brunch or something. 67 00:02:35,759 --> 00:02:37,889 Oh, yeah! I always feel like getting brunch or something. 68 00:02:37,895 --> 00:02:39,839 I... But I never, ever do. 69 00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:41,546 Maybe you should change that. 70 00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:48,220 Ugh! Was that Lisa (BLEEP) Apple? 71 00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:50,082 God, we hated her. 72 00:02:50,359 --> 00:02:51,584 Did we? 73 00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:55,075 Yeah. Remember those big, fake glasses she used to wear? 74 00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:57,004 Ugh, and she was so "holier than thou." 75 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,348 She was always giving us kid advice 76 00:02:58,354 --> 00:02:59,579 even though she doesn't have kids. 77 00:02:59,586 --> 00:03:00,912 Well, she is a tutor. 78 00:03:00,918 --> 00:03:03,132 What does that mean? She's not a very good tutor. 79 00:03:03,138 --> 00:03:04,579 How much money did we pay her for Milo 80 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,610 to still write like the Zodiac Killer? 81 00:03:06,616 --> 00:03:10,011 Hm, I didn't realize how strongly we felt about her. 82 00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:11,830 Well, we did. 83 00:03:12,132 --> 00:03:14,296 Thank God she's not in our lives anymore. 84 00:03:14,302 --> 00:03:17,453 Yeah. Thank God. 85 00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:22,408 ♪ Keep giving me hope for a better day ♪ 86 00:03:22,414 --> 00:03:25,990 ♪ Keep giving me love to find a way ♪ 87 00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:30,491 ♪ Through this heaviness I feel, I just need ♪ 88 00:03:30,497 --> 00:03:35,907 - ♪ Someone to say everything's okay ♪ - Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com - 89 00:03:35,913 --> 00:03:37,756 ♪ Everything's okay ♪ 90 00:03:39,057 --> 00:03:41,496 Hey, Mom. I signed you up for the bake sale at school, 91 00:03:41,503 --> 00:03:43,043 - and it has to be something good. - _ 92 00:03:43,049 --> 00:03:44,470 So, dig deep. 93 00:03:44,477 --> 00:03:47,084 - Oh, can I pitch you some ideas? - Go. 94 00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,527 What about one of those rainbow-layer cakes? 95 00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:52,165 No, Eric's mom's already doing that. It's all over her Pinterest. 96 00:03:52,171 --> 00:03:54,222 You follow Eric's mom on Pinterest? 97 00:03:54,228 --> 00:03:55,577 She has great boards. 98 00:03:56,254 --> 00:03:57,797 Oh! How about this... 99 00:03:58,075 --> 00:03:59,515 I reinvent a classic. 100 00:03:59,701 --> 00:04:01,870 I like where this is going... 101 00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:04,446 Sea-salt dusted brondie. 102 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,687 - Brondie? Is-is that even a word? Di... - Brondie. 103 00:04:06,693 --> 00:04:08,040 did you just coin that? 104 00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:09,781 Oh, my gosh. I think I just coined that. 105 00:04:09,787 --> 00:04:12,232 And the Nobel Prize for brondies goes to... 106 00:04:17,119 --> 00:04:18,582 Lot of homework? 107 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:23,881 Just an English paper on female role models called "Nevertheless." 108 00:04:23,887 --> 00:04:26,546 We have to complete the phrase by writing something remarkable 109 00:04:26,552 --> 00:04:28,180 our female role model has done. 110 00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:31,761 Oh, well, if you need to interview me, I'm available. 111 00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:32,993 I chose Maya. 112 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,387 Maya Angelou? 113 00:04:34,466 --> 00:04:36,832 Aunt Maya. She's a trailblazer. 114 00:04:36,838 --> 00:04:38,752 Uh, what has she ever blazed 115 00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:41,624 besides those weed cigarettes for her "anxiety." 116 00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,163 It's more about what she doesn't do, 117 00:04:43,169 --> 00:04:44,479 which is conform to the antiquated 118 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,608 cis-gender norms of patriarchal society. 119 00:04:46,614 --> 00:04:48,133 Okay, if this is an English paper, 120 00:04:48,139 --> 00:04:50,285 you should start by speaking English. 121 00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,605 She decided to have a kid on her own. 122 00:04:52,611 --> 00:04:54,171 We should celebrate that. 123 00:04:54,177 --> 00:04:56,760 Celebrate her decision to have baby? 124 00:04:56,766 --> 00:04:58,070 She hasn't even done it yet. 125 00:04:58,076 --> 00:05:01,244 I've been boots on the ground for 15 years! 126 00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:03,070 Yeah, but, Mom, it's 2018, 127 00:05:03,076 --> 00:05:05,327 and you still get giddy about bake sales 128 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,877 and stocking the pantry with apple juice. 129 00:05:08,078 --> 00:05:11,025 I'm sorry, but you're part of the problem. 130 00:05:11,031 --> 00:05:12,477 I'm part of the problem? 131 00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:14,120 You don't wanna shatter the glass ceiling. 132 00:05:14,127 --> 00:05:17,094 You want to clean it with Windex. 133 00:05:17,101 --> 00:05:18,326 Okay. 134 00:05:18,332 --> 00:05:21,480 First of all, I make my own window cleaner 135 00:05:21,486 --> 00:05:24,236 with a combination of white distilled vinegar 136 00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:25,972 and freshly squeezed lemon juice, 137 00:05:25,978 --> 00:05:27,725 and the fresh lemon juice is the most important part! 138 00:05:27,731 --> 00:05:30,758 Okay, listen, we're gonna finish this conversation later! 139 00:05:33,194 --> 00:05:37,283 Oh, man! Look at all these people having brunch. 140 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,117 Is brunch funny? 141 00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:41,966 It is to me. I haven't had brunch in 15 years. 142 00:05:41,972 --> 00:05:43,906 - You must be starving. - I am. 143 00:05:43,912 --> 00:05:45,413 Oh, thank you. 144 00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:47,245 Thank you. 145 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,909 - Uh-oh. - Something wrong? 146 00:05:50,515 --> 00:05:53,900 You ordered pico on the side. That is pico on the top. 147 00:05:53,906 --> 00:05:55,539 Oh, no biggie. 148 00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:57,948 Huh? "No biggie"? 149 00:05:58,554 --> 00:06:00,071 You don't wanna send it back? 150 00:06:00,077 --> 00:06:01,307 Or make me send it back 151 00:06:01,314 --> 00:06:03,546 so the waiter doesn't hate you for sending it back? 152 00:06:03,552 --> 00:06:05,668 'Cause I-I will. I-I can get her over here. 153 00:06:05,674 --> 00:06:07,820 Nope. All ends up in the same place. 154 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:14,250 It... it does end up in the same place. 155 00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:16,366 That's exactly right! 156 00:06:16,549 --> 00:06:19,112 Were you in a long-term marriage or an underground bunker? 157 00:06:20,144 --> 00:06:21,671 I am starting to wonder. 158 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:24,839 And I'm seeing the world through... 159 00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:26,887 brand-new eyes. 160 00:06:26,973 --> 00:06:29,390 - You are? Mmm. - Mm-hmm. 161 00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:36,744 Mmm. I'm noticing things that I've never noticed before. 162 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:39,143 Me? You're noticing me? 163 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,395 I am noticing the hell out of you. 164 00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:47,629 Is this okay? 165 00:06:47,635 --> 00:06:49,574 I'll tell you in a second. 166 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,781 Yep, it is. 167 00:06:59,722 --> 00:07:01,120 Were you wearing those glasses 168 00:07:01,126 --> 00:07:03,263 when I saw you the other day at the market? 169 00:07:03,574 --> 00:07:05,919 I'm sure I was. They're my glasses. 170 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,659 Yeah. They're your glasses. 171 00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:09,613 Come on. 172 00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:13,955 Wow! 173 00:07:14,821 --> 00:07:17,287 Look at all this stuff. 174 00:07:17,294 --> 00:07:19,432 Dad really saved everything. 175 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:23,723 Including Mom. She looks great, though. 176 00:07:23,729 --> 00:07:24,975 Can I have her? 177 00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:26,485 Mm-hmm. 178 00:07:27,908 --> 00:07:30,031 She always hated physical affection. 179 00:07:30,037 --> 00:07:31,896 - Yeah. - Sorry, Mom. 180 00:07:32,908 --> 00:07:38,181 Yes, every awkward phase of your lives has been lovingly preserved. 181 00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:39,650 You're welcome, girls. 182 00:07:40,887 --> 00:07:42,941 What are we even looking for here? 183 00:07:42,947 --> 00:07:44,178 I don't know. 184 00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:46,382 Something that proves that before I was a mom 185 00:07:46,388 --> 00:07:49,645 and just momming all the time, that I was a female role model. 186 00:07:49,652 --> 00:07:51,969 - You were? - Oh, look! 187 00:07:52,183 --> 00:07:54,636 My old Girl Scout sash! I got every badge. 188 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,307 Uh, that's my Halloween costume from college. 189 00:07:57,314 --> 00:07:59,065 - These are joke badges. - Mmm. 190 00:07:59,172 --> 00:08:01,404 - See? This one's for binge drinking. - _ 191 00:08:01,411 --> 00:08:03,227 I earned a lot of those sophomore year. 192 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,892 Okay, fine. So I'm not a role model. 193 00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:08,449 Not a Michelle or a Malala or an Amal 194 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,988 or a Hillary or a... Oprah or even a Gayle. 195 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,817 If Mae did a report on me, 196 00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:16,620 it'd probably be titled "Nevertheless, she did dishes." 197 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,335 Uh, I think you're being a little 198 00:08:18,341 --> 00:08:19,567 - hard on yourself. - Mmm. 199 00:08:19,573 --> 00:08:21,030 Well, that's easy for you to say. 200 00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:25,647 She picked you. Mae is doing her essay on you. 201 00:08:25,653 --> 00:08:27,003 Really? 202 00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:30,434 - Wow, I don't even like Mae. - Ditto. 203 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,634 I'm just kidding. She's wonderfully acerbic. 204 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,526 I mean, could they be less grateful? 205 00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:38,724 Come on. All kids are rotten. You know that. Especially girls. 206 00:08:38,730 --> 00:08:40,757 Besides, Mae is wrong about you. 207 00:08:40,852 --> 00:08:43,345 As I recall, you had a great deal of gumption. 208 00:08:43,351 --> 00:08:45,190 - Gumption, yeah! - Sure. 209 00:08:45,196 --> 00:08:48,531 - You were early to join the workforce. - Uh-huh. You in high school. 210 00:08:48,537 --> 00:08:51,202 Didn't you work in that mailbox store? 211 00:08:51,728 --> 00:08:53,498 It was a FedEx Kinkos. 212 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,048 And I'm the only employee who survived the merger. 213 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:57,631 There you go! 214 00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:59,552 Well, my daughter doesn't look up to me. 215 00:08:59,633 --> 00:09:03,485 In fact, she looks down on me. Why? Because I take care of her. 216 00:09:03,491 --> 00:09:06,388 So, tonight, I'm gonna teach her a lesson. 217 00:09:08,902 --> 00:09:10,371 - Big date alert! - _ 218 00:09:10,377 --> 00:09:13,033 My buddy's getting laid tonight. First time in two years. 219 00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:14,454 - Hot damn. - Hey. 220 00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:16,058 Can you not tell people that? 221 00:09:16,064 --> 00:09:19,030 Come on, man. Don't worry. It's a cone of silence in here. 222 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,997 So, what did Lena say about you going out with Lisa Apple? 223 00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:23,842 I didn't tell her. 224 00:09:23,848 --> 00:09:25,861 Martin, you and Lena are in a good place right now. 225 00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:27,533 - What are you... - She didn't tell me who she was dating. 226 00:09:27,539 --> 00:09:29,654 Lena has history with this woman. 227 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:32,107 She finds out that you're doing stuff behind her back, 228 00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,638 there will be blood. 229 00:09:33,645 --> 00:09:36,383 Full disclosure is the key to all healthy relationships. 230 00:09:36,389 --> 00:09:38,664 - Yeah. - What do you think, A-town? 231 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,507 - Let me run it by Camille. Mmm. - You got it. 232 00:09:41,627 --> 00:09:44,904 And that is how it's done. 233 00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:49,777 Hey, baby. Cy's gonna send you a photo of my new haircut. 234 00:09:49,783 --> 00:09:51,008 Approve please. 235 00:09:54,074 --> 00:09:55,367 Hey, gang. 236 00:09:55,373 --> 00:09:57,721 So, I'm out. 237 00:09:57,825 --> 00:09:59,492 - What? - I'm out. 238 00:09:59,694 --> 00:10:01,395 I feel like too much of my identity 239 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,084 is wrapped in being a mom, 240 00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,951 so I'm gon' go get turnt. 241 00:10:06,047 --> 00:10:07,272 That's hilarious. 242 00:10:07,278 --> 00:10:08,713 Mae, how do I look? 243 00:10:08,719 --> 00:10:11,475 Like someone who wants to regarded as a sexual object 244 00:10:11,481 --> 00:10:13,100 rather than a three-dimensional person. 245 00:10:13,106 --> 00:10:17,279 Oh, you are so second wave sometimes, Mae. 246 00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:20,744 Hey. What about my bake sale tomorrow? Brondies? 247 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,089 The recipe and ingredients are on the kitchen counter. 248 00:10:23,095 --> 00:10:25,440 You're 14 and almost 16. 249 00:10:25,446 --> 00:10:27,148 I had a job when I was your age. 250 00:10:27,154 --> 00:10:30,008 So, I heard. She worked in a mailbox store. 251 00:10:30,014 --> 00:10:32,767 Hey! It was a FedEx Kinkos. 252 00:10:33,252 --> 00:10:35,622 And I survived the merger! 253 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,303 So, where we going tonight? 254 00:10:40,309 --> 00:10:42,786 Actually I just need you to drive around the block for like an hour 255 00:10:42,793 --> 00:10:44,556 so that my kids think I'm out on the town. 256 00:10:44,562 --> 00:10:47,919 Hey... what? You-you-you all dressed up to not go out on the town? 257 00:10:47,925 --> 00:10:49,651 What's up with that? 258 00:10:49,657 --> 00:10:51,894 My daughter thinks I'm a bad role model. 259 00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,952 Look, you need to stop worrying about Little Mama 260 00:10:53,958 --> 00:10:56,432 - and start worrying about Big Mama. - Big Mama? 261 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:59,063 Look, you looking all good. You better go and hit that club. 262 00:10:59,069 --> 00:11:00,922 And I ain't talking about no Sam's. 263 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:03,347 - Are you talking about... - The club club. 264 00:11:03,465 --> 00:11:05,102 The clurb. 265 00:11:05,794 --> 00:11:08,880 Huh. The clurb. 266 00:11:10,384 --> 00:11:12,774 Yeah, I don't think Big Mama can do that. 267 00:11:14,893 --> 00:11:16,442 Can Big Mama? 268 00:11:18,789 --> 00:11:21,056 It's getting kinda dark. Why's it getting so dark? 269 00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:23,503 Because that's what happens when the sun goes down. 270 00:11:23,509 --> 00:11:26,352 Why is nobody taking care of me? 271 00:11:26,778 --> 00:11:28,003 Who's there? 272 00:11:29,006 --> 00:11:31,859 What was that? Milo, stop rolling around for a second. 273 00:11:33,072 --> 00:11:35,146 Milo isn't here. 274 00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:37,501 Tell me you heard that. 275 00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:42,351 Okay. Since I am the oldest and least stupid, everyone follow me. 276 00:11:42,764 --> 00:11:44,814 - Where we going? - Somewhere safe. 277 00:11:47,545 --> 00:11:48,771 Everybody in. 278 00:11:49,615 --> 00:11:51,984 This will be our panic room till Mom gets home. 279 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:55,804 Good call. If we get hungry, we can eat Mom's insoles. 280 00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:59,360 And if we get bored, we can journey into the dark web. 281 00:12:01,913 --> 00:12:04,554 ♪ Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol ♪ 282 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,876 ♪ Blame it on the vodka ♪ 283 00:12:05,882 --> 00:12:07,306 ♪ Blame it on the Henny ♪ 284 00:12:07,312 --> 00:12:09,866 ♪ Blame it on the blue tap, got you feeling dizzy ♪ 285 00:12:09,872 --> 00:12:12,634 ♪ Blame it on the a-a-alcohol ♪ 286 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,916 ♪ Blame it on the a-a-alcohol, blame it on the... ♪ 287 00:12:15,922 --> 00:12:17,990 Hey, this place is pretty lit! 288 00:12:18,062 --> 00:12:19,706 We're not really open yet. 289 00:12:19,713 --> 00:12:21,443 Still, it's pretty lit. 290 00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:25,903 Oh, my God. I love this song! 291 00:12:27,225 --> 00:12:28,669 Turn it up! Turn it up! 292 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,045 ♪ On the floors of Tokyo ♪ 293 00:12:34,051 --> 00:12:36,794 ♪ Or down in London Town to go, go ♪ 294 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,639 ♪ With the record selection and the mirror's reflection ♪ 295 00:12:39,645 --> 00:12:42,157 ♪ I'm dancing with myself ♪ 296 00:12:42,163 --> 00:12:45,027 ♪ When there's no one else in sight ♪ 297 00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:47,552 ♪ In the crowded lonely night ♪ 298 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,481 ♪ Well, I wait so long for my love vibration ♪ 299 00:12:50,487 --> 00:12:53,552 ♪ And I'm dancing with myself, oh, oh ♪ 300 00:12:53,558 --> 00:12:56,224 ♪ Dancing with myself, oh, oh ♪ 301 00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:58,461 ♪ Dancing with myself ♪ 302 00:12:58,467 --> 00:13:00,069 ♪ Well, there's nothing to lose ♪ 303 00:13:00,075 --> 00:13:01,592 ♪ And there's nothing to prove ♪ 304 00:13:03,522 --> 00:13:05,356 God, what am I doing here? 305 00:13:06,809 --> 00:13:10,000 - Hello? - Hello? 306 00:13:10,096 --> 00:13:12,226 - Can you hear me? - Yes. 307 00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,989 I drank too much and it's your fault. 308 00:13:15,496 --> 00:13:16,818 My fault? 309 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,978 Because you were rude to me! 310 00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:21,855 - What? I... - Yes, you were! 311 00:13:21,943 --> 00:13:24,604 Tell me the truth. Do you want to break up with me? 312 00:13:24,908 --> 00:13:26,133 Do you? 313 00:13:26,343 --> 00:13:28,114 Hold on a sec. 314 00:13:32,257 --> 00:13:33,482 Oh, God. 315 00:13:39,311 --> 00:13:41,873 Hold on, honey. Come on. Hold on. I'm coming in. 316 00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:46,642 Hey. 317 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,392 Hi. 318 00:13:48,780 --> 00:13:50,005 Oh, God. 319 00:13:51,052 --> 00:13:52,364 Hi. 320 00:13:52,495 --> 00:13:55,953 Hi. Okay. 321 00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,306 Ooh, wow. 322 00:13:58,312 --> 00:14:00,954 How are you this drunk at 6:45? 323 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,299 I don't think he loves me. 324 00:14:03,305 --> 00:14:05,798 Oh, oh, it's okay. 325 00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:08,430 No, it isn't! I love him. 326 00:14:08,437 --> 00:14:10,287 Like, I'm in love with him. 327 00:14:10,495 --> 00:14:12,658 - I need his kisses. - No, you don't. 328 00:14:12,664 --> 00:14:15,087 - And I need kisses. - No, you don't. 329 00:14:15,093 --> 00:14:17,129 - I need kisses. - Stop. Stop saying "kisses". 330 00:14:17,349 --> 00:14:18,675 I need kisses. 331 00:14:18,681 --> 00:14:22,328 Listen. What you need is a wet wipe, some Advil, 332 00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:24,164 and a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash. 333 00:14:24,170 --> 00:14:26,808 Oh, my God. That purse is everything. 334 00:14:26,963 --> 00:14:28,385 - It's magical. - Okay. 335 00:14:28,391 --> 00:14:29,795 You're magical. 336 00:14:30,289 --> 00:14:34,078 You are. Yeah, and it's time that you embrace that, okay? 337 00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:38,573 If we are gonna give away the best parts of ourselves, 338 00:14:38,579 --> 00:14:41,855 then it better to someone who deserves it. 339 00:14:42,274 --> 00:14:44,709 Alright? Because you're great. 340 00:14:44,806 --> 00:14:46,065 I'm great. 341 00:14:46,071 --> 00:14:47,296 Here. 342 00:14:48,786 --> 00:14:50,828 You have a little ranch on your dress. 343 00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,902 God, I hope it's ranch. 344 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:57,343 I bet you'd be a really great mom. 345 00:14:58,779 --> 00:15:00,081 You know what? 346 00:15:00,795 --> 00:15:02,615 I am a great mom. 347 00:15:06,712 --> 00:15:09,657 Oh, come... You're going to be okay. 348 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:14,490 Things are going to be okay. They are, you know? 349 00:15:16,507 --> 00:15:17,733 Hello? 350 00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:21,442 Oh, my God. 351 00:15:26,656 --> 00:15:29,646 - Did you hear that? Did you hear that, Mae? - Yes, I did. 352 00:15:29,652 --> 00:15:32,099 - Stranger danger! - Please don't kill us! 353 00:15:35,481 --> 00:15:37,126 How did you know we were in here? 354 00:15:37,132 --> 00:15:38,591 Milo texted me. 355 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:41,112 Are you here to help me with my homework? 356 00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:45,151 Um... 357 00:15:47,284 --> 00:15:50,261 Okay, so, what happened to Mom? 358 00:15:50,609 --> 00:15:53,592 - She just went AWOL. - She didn't go AWOL! 359 00:15:53,598 --> 00:15:56,420 Why are you yelling? You don't even know what "AWOL" means. 360 00:15:57,341 --> 00:15:59,103 I'd like to believe our mother has embarked 361 00:15:59,109 --> 00:16:01,530 on a spiritual journey to discover who she is 362 00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:04,458 outside of the label she uses to define herself. 363 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:08,031 - On the eve of my bake sale. - Okay, stop talking, all of you. 364 00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,442 I hope you little rats know 365 00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:11,084 that the only reason anything ever good happens 366 00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,244 in this house is because of your mother. 367 00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:15,177 Every birthday, every Christmas. 368 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,475 If it were up to me, you would all live unfed 369 00:16:17,481 --> 00:16:19,541 and unclothed in the yard. 370 00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:22,180 - Now do your homework. - I did my homework. 371 00:16:22,186 --> 00:16:23,919 Can you make dinner? 372 00:16:24,827 --> 00:16:26,556 Hey, don't ask her. 373 00:16:26,562 --> 00:16:28,850 She's not here for you. She's here for me. 374 00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,273 Gross. 375 00:16:32,753 --> 00:16:34,169 I will make dinner. 376 00:16:34,666 --> 00:16:37,206 Hey, can you also make brondies for my bake sale? 377 00:16:37,514 --> 00:16:39,568 - Brondies? - Yeah. 378 00:16:39,575 --> 00:16:40,800 Martin. 379 00:16:43,106 --> 00:16:45,948 Bake sale? This is going to be a disaster. 380 00:16:45,954 --> 00:16:48,611 The only baking I do is directly after waking. 381 00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,435 I'm not a baker. 382 00:16:50,441 --> 00:16:52,478 Lucky for you, this little lady is. 383 00:16:52,484 --> 00:16:54,563 - You? - No, not me. Her. 384 00:16:54,569 --> 00:16:57,246 Grandma Flour's Bakery is only 1.3 miles away. 385 00:16:57,252 --> 00:16:59,779 They have 160 five-star reviews 386 00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:02,556 and their specialty is brownies. 387 00:17:02,865 --> 00:17:05,403 I don't know. Lena always bakes from scratch. 388 00:17:05,409 --> 00:17:07,167 Why make things harder than they have to be? 389 00:17:09,597 --> 00:17:12,851 "Why make things harder than they have to be?" 390 00:17:13,876 --> 00:17:16,227 Kids, I'm going 1.3 miles. 391 00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:18,582 - You guys going to be okay for a minute? - We'll be fine. 392 00:17:18,588 --> 00:17:20,014 Uh, keys. 393 00:17:20,117 --> 00:17:21,434 Oh, there. 394 00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:28,052 I wanna kiss you right now, but I can't 'cause of these kids. 395 00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,273 You're so funny. 396 00:17:35,594 --> 00:17:37,535 Oh, hello. 397 00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:38,888 Hi, Lena. 398 00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:41,015 - Lisa Apple's here. - Dad invited her. 399 00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:42,576 Oh! 400 00:17:42,882 --> 00:17:45,980 Lisa, Lisa. And the Cult Jam. 401 00:17:46,873 --> 00:17:49,123 You're looking very scholarly tonight. 402 00:17:49,918 --> 00:17:52,561 Uh, I didn't realize that Martin had 403 00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:55,513 hired you to help with the kids, so what do we owe you? 404 00:18:03,077 --> 00:18:07,063 What'd we say... we said $13? 405 00:18:07,070 --> 00:18:09,111 - Yep. Okay. - One, two, $12. 406 00:18:09,118 --> 00:18:10,395 It was $12. 407 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,937 Lena, where the hell were you? 408 00:18:13,943 --> 00:18:16,316 I was trying to teach Mae a lesson. 409 00:18:16,322 --> 00:18:18,637 And I do think those kids are ready for more responsibility. 410 00:18:18,643 --> 00:18:20,070 I mean, when I was their age, I... 411 00:18:20,076 --> 00:18:22,299 #SurvivedTheMerger. 412 00:18:22,305 --> 00:18:23,633 We know. 413 00:18:23,943 --> 00:18:26,797 But I agree, those kids should be fending for themselves. 414 00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:29,682 And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Lisa Apple. 415 00:18:29,688 --> 00:18:32,316 I just... I didn't want you to know that Lisa was a thing 416 00:18:32,322 --> 00:18:33,831 until I knew that Lisa was a thing. 417 00:18:33,837 --> 00:18:36,378 And I certainly didn't want to bring her around the kids that early. 418 00:18:36,384 --> 00:18:38,663 It's okay. It's Lisa Apple. 419 00:18:39,046 --> 00:18:41,794 You get to be with someone young and fun. 420 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,857 And I get to find out why she wears those ridiculous glasses. 421 00:18:44,863 --> 00:18:47,348 I'm really glad that we can have this conversation 422 00:18:47,558 --> 00:18:49,505 - without fighting. - Me, too. 423 00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:52,262 - We're good. - We are good. 424 00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:55,218 Okay, well, we're gonna... we're gonna get going. 425 00:18:55,224 --> 00:18:59,124 We? Oh, Lisa Apple and you. 426 00:18:59,449 --> 00:19:00,674 Right. 427 00:19:07,533 --> 00:19:08,820 Mom? 428 00:19:09,294 --> 00:19:10,519 Mae? 429 00:19:11,592 --> 00:19:14,092 - You okay? - No. 430 00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:22,460 I'm a bad feminist and daughter, too. 431 00:19:22,664 --> 00:19:25,764 What? Why would you say that? 432 00:19:26,477 --> 00:19:28,120 I mom-shamed you, 433 00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:31,286 which isn't at all in the spirit of the movement. 434 00:19:31,292 --> 00:19:33,655 Oh, it's okay, sweetie. 435 00:19:34,221 --> 00:19:36,191 No, it isn't. 436 00:19:36,197 --> 00:19:38,642 And although I want you to 437 00:19:38,648 --> 00:19:41,567 break free of the domestic chains that bind you... 438 00:19:41,573 --> 00:19:43,309 Nothing is binding me. 439 00:19:43,509 --> 00:19:46,908 No one is binding me, okay? 440 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,445 I chose to do things this way. 441 00:19:49,452 --> 00:19:53,019 Work part-time so that I can be home with you kids. 442 00:19:53,328 --> 00:19:55,575 And I think I'm doing a pretty good job 443 00:19:55,581 --> 00:19:57,818 because look at how cool you turned out. 444 00:19:57,824 --> 00:20:00,875 I know an entire cheerleading squad that would beg to differ. 445 00:20:00,881 --> 00:20:02,955 Who cares about the cheerleading squad? 446 00:20:03,096 --> 00:20:06,066 It's the band geeks who are going to be running the world. 447 00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,997 The band geeks hate me, too. 448 00:20:08,923 --> 00:20:12,183 Sorry I acted like being a mom wasn't important. 449 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,512 I really didn't like how it felt when you weren't home tonight. 450 00:20:17,846 --> 00:20:21,238 Because, nevertheless... 451 00:20:21,525 --> 00:20:23,499 she makes everyone feel safe. 452 00:20:26,841 --> 00:20:30,008 Wait, why would the band geeks hate you? 453 00:20:30,914 --> 00:20:33,511 I licked the clarinet player's reed. 454 00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:45,224 - Wow. - Yeah. 455 00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:48,032 Well, that was worth more than 12 bucks. 456 00:20:48,153 --> 00:20:52,205 - Gee, thanks. - No, I'm serious. You could go pro. 457 00:20:52,525 --> 00:20:54,966 Your pillow talk could use some work. 458 00:20:55,498 --> 00:20:57,218 Ugh, I'm sorry. 459 00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:02,664 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... 460 00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:06,633 for what happened at our house with Lena and the kids. 461 00:21:07,281 --> 00:21:10,033 I know that's not what either of us had in mind. 462 00:21:10,039 --> 00:21:13,206 Oh, what are you gonna do? It is what it is. 463 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,109 "It is what it is". 464 00:21:17,705 --> 00:21:19,804 I love this woman's outlook! 34496

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