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1
00:00:01,923 --> 00:00:04,172
- Do I need that much protein?
- I think you do.
2
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:05,586
But it also has creatine.
3
00:00:05,592 --> 00:00:07,340
And? You want gainz?
4
00:00:07,346 --> 00:00:09,996
Well, yeah, I do, but I
also want liver function.
5
00:00:10,003 --> 00:00:12,532
Well, don't call me
crying from your plateau.
6
00:00:12,539 --> 00:00:14,773
Stop pretending that you
know about this stuff.
7
00:00:14,779 --> 00:00:17,735
When we first got divorced,
we weren't nearly this chummy,
8
00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:19,168
but time had passed.
9
00:00:19,175 --> 00:00:20,509
Okay, hot oven!
10
00:00:20,515 --> 00:00:21,942
Things have become chill.
11
00:00:22,535 --> 00:00:24,384
Mmm, cinnamon! Nice touch, Mom!
12
00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:27,925
We were both thankful, and
so was the rest of the family.
13
00:00:27,931 --> 00:00:29,966
Because even though we
were no longer together...
14
00:00:29,972 --> 00:00:32,836
It just made sense for
us to do things together.
15
00:00:33,038 --> 00:00:34,553
Football time for me, guys.
16
00:00:34,559 --> 00:00:37,139
I will clean up later.
I promise. I promise.
17
00:00:37,227 --> 00:00:40,884
Which made every day feel
like Christmas morning.
18
00:00:41,121 --> 00:00:43,970
We need to get batteries for
that. Anybody want anything?
19
00:00:43,976 --> 00:00:45,723
I'll have a mimosa,
if you're making them.
20
00:00:45,802 --> 00:00:47,236
Kids, school!
21
00:00:47,242 --> 00:00:49,481
And by the time
spring rolled around...
22
00:00:49,557 --> 00:00:51,038
We were total buds.
23
00:00:51,497 --> 00:00:54,256
It was hard to believe,
but we'd recovered from...
24
00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:56,497
I am done! I am done
with the scrutiny.
25
00:00:56,503 --> 00:00:58,132
That fight changed us.
26
00:00:58,138 --> 00:01:00,409
- You deserve someone who feels that way about you.
- I realized...
27
00:01:00,416 --> 00:01:02,141
I wasn't ready to be dating.
28
00:01:02,462 --> 00:01:04,593
And I realized I was.
29
00:01:06,131 --> 00:01:09,185
♪ When I'm feeling blue ♪
30
00:01:09,191 --> 00:01:11,538
- ♪ All I have to do... ♪
- Lisa?
31
00:01:11,544 --> 00:01:13,378
- Oh, hey! Martin, right?
- Hey.
32
00:01:13,384 --> 00:01:14,646
You're Milo's dad.
33
00:01:14,918 --> 00:01:16,547
Amongst other things.
34
00:01:16,553 --> 00:01:17,791
Such as?
35
00:01:18,071 --> 00:01:19,823
Lover of romaine.
36
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:22,288
- It is a great lettuce.
- Yes.
37
00:01:22,602 --> 00:01:26,066
♪ Nothing seems to matter ♪
38
00:01:26,072 --> 00:01:28,933
- ♪ My whole world could shatter... ♪
- Why are they playing this song?
39
00:01:28,939 --> 00:01:31,038
- I don't know.
- I feel...
40
00:01:31,044 --> 00:01:33,972
- weirdly emotional.
- Oh. Well, here.
41
00:01:34,317 --> 00:01:35,542
Oh!
42
00:01:36,503 --> 00:01:37,811
So, how's Milo?
43
00:01:37,817 --> 00:01:39,451
Uh, oh, good. He's... he's good.
44
00:01:39,457 --> 00:01:41,822
He, uh... Going into
second grade, so he made it.
45
00:01:41,828 --> 00:01:44,162
I always felt bad I couldn't
help more with his issue.
46
00:01:44,168 --> 00:01:46,325
Oh, what with the peeing
in the flower bed thing?
47
00:01:46,332 --> 00:01:48,258
No, he stopped that
on his own months ago.
48
00:01:48,264 --> 00:01:49,997
The kid's got a bright future.
49
00:01:50,003 --> 00:01:52,804
No, I meant the whole
"serial-killer" handwriting.
50
00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:54,727
Oh, right. Yeah. That.
51
00:01:54,733 --> 00:01:58,321
I kept telling your wife his
penmanship was totally age-appropriate.
52
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,533
Yeah, well, I kept telling her
we're all gonna be speaking Mandarin
53
00:02:00,539 --> 00:02:03,195
- soon, right? So, who cares?
- Apparently she did.
54
00:02:04,092 --> 00:02:05,318
She did.
55
00:02:06,851 --> 00:02:08,792
So, you've been good?
56
00:02:08,798 --> 00:02:10,109
Me? Very!
57
00:02:10,503 --> 00:02:11,728
Very good.
58
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:15,794
Not that good. No,
Lena and I s-separated.
59
00:02:16,191 --> 00:02:17,684
Actually, we... we divorced,
60
00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:21,056
and we're living
together still for now,
61
00:02:21,062 --> 00:02:24,113
but divorcedly so.
That's not a word.
62
00:02:24,119 --> 00:02:26,739
I ramble when I...
when I get nervous.
63
00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:28,474
I'm... I'm divorced.
64
00:02:28,996 --> 00:02:30,232
Okay.
65
00:02:30,663 --> 00:02:32,578
Well, my number's still good.
66
00:02:32,784 --> 00:02:35,753
Give me a call if you ever feel
like getting brunch or something.
67
00:02:35,759 --> 00:02:37,889
Oh, yeah! I always feel like
getting brunch or something.
68
00:02:37,895 --> 00:02:39,839
I... But I never, ever do.
69
00:02:40,014 --> 00:02:41,546
Maybe you should change that.
70
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:48,220
Ugh! Was that
Lisa (BLEEP) Apple?
71
00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:50,082
God, we hated her.
72
00:02:50,359 --> 00:02:51,584
Did we?
73
00:02:51,590 --> 00:02:55,075
Yeah. Remember those big,
fake glasses she used to wear?
74
00:02:55,081 --> 00:02:57,004
Ugh, and she was so
"holier than thou."
75
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,348
She was always
giving us kid advice
76
00:02:58,354 --> 00:02:59,579
even though she
doesn't have kids.
77
00:02:59,586 --> 00:03:00,912
Well, she is a tutor.
78
00:03:00,918 --> 00:03:03,132
What does that mean? She's
not a very good tutor.
79
00:03:03,138 --> 00:03:04,579
How much money did
we pay her for Milo
80
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,610
to still write like
the Zodiac Killer?
81
00:03:06,616 --> 00:03:10,011
Hm, I didn't realize how
strongly we felt about her.
82
00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:11,830
Well, we did.
83
00:03:12,132 --> 00:03:14,296
Thank God she's not
in our lives anymore.
84
00:03:14,302 --> 00:03:17,453
Yeah. Thank God.
85
00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:22,408
♪ Keep giving me hope
for a better day ♪
86
00:03:22,414 --> 00:03:25,990
♪ Keep giving me
love to find a way ♪
87
00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:30,491
♪ Through this heaviness
I feel, I just need ♪
88
00:03:30,497 --> 00:03:35,907
- ♪ Someone to say everything's okay ♪
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
89
00:03:35,913 --> 00:03:37,756
♪ Everything's okay ♪
90
00:03:39,057 --> 00:03:41,496
Hey, Mom. I signed you up
for the bake sale at school,
91
00:03:41,503 --> 00:03:43,043
- and it has to be something good.
- _
92
00:03:43,049 --> 00:03:44,470
So, dig deep.
93
00:03:44,477 --> 00:03:47,084
- Oh, can I pitch you some ideas?
- Go.
94
00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,527
What about one of those
rainbow-layer cakes?
95
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:52,165
No, Eric's mom's already doing
that. It's all over her Pinterest.
96
00:03:52,171 --> 00:03:54,222
You follow Eric's
mom on Pinterest?
97
00:03:54,228 --> 00:03:55,577
She has great boards.
98
00:03:56,254 --> 00:03:57,797
Oh! How about this...
99
00:03:58,075 --> 00:03:59,515
I reinvent a classic.
100
00:03:59,701 --> 00:04:01,870
I like where this is going...
101
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:04,446
Sea-salt dusted brondie.
102
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:06,687
- Brondie? Is-is that even a word? Di...
- Brondie.
103
00:04:06,693 --> 00:04:08,040
did you just coin that?
104
00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:09,781
Oh, my gosh. I think
I just coined that.
105
00:04:09,787 --> 00:04:12,232
And the Nobel Prize
for brondies goes to...
106
00:04:17,119 --> 00:04:18,582
Lot of homework?
107
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:23,881
Just an English paper on female
role models called "Nevertheless."
108
00:04:23,887 --> 00:04:26,546
We have to complete the phrase
by writing something remarkable
109
00:04:26,552 --> 00:04:28,180
our female role model has done.
110
00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:31,761
Oh, well, if you need to
interview me, I'm available.
111
00:04:31,768 --> 00:04:32,993
I chose Maya.
112
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,387
Maya Angelou?
113
00:04:34,466 --> 00:04:36,832
Aunt Maya. She's a trailblazer.
114
00:04:36,838 --> 00:04:38,752
Uh, what has she ever blazed
115
00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:41,624
besides those weed
cigarettes for her "anxiety."
116
00:04:41,630 --> 00:04:43,163
It's more about
what she doesn't do,
117
00:04:43,169 --> 00:04:44,479
which is conform
to the antiquated
118
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,608
cis-gender norms of
patriarchal society.
119
00:04:46,614 --> 00:04:48,133
Okay, if this is
an English paper,
120
00:04:48,139 --> 00:04:50,285
you should start
by speaking English.
121
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,605
She decided to have
a kid on her own.
122
00:04:52,611 --> 00:04:54,171
We should celebrate that.
123
00:04:54,177 --> 00:04:56,760
Celebrate her
decision to have baby?
124
00:04:56,766 --> 00:04:58,070
She hasn't even done it yet.
125
00:04:58,076 --> 00:05:01,244
I've been boots on the
ground for 15 years!
126
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:03,070
Yeah, but, Mom, it's 2018,
127
00:05:03,076 --> 00:05:05,327
and you still get
giddy about bake sales
128
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,877
and stocking the
pantry with apple juice.
129
00:05:08,078 --> 00:05:11,025
I'm sorry, but you're
part of the problem.
130
00:05:11,031 --> 00:05:12,477
I'm part of the problem?
131
00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:14,120
You don't wanna shatter
the glass ceiling.
132
00:05:14,127 --> 00:05:17,094
You want to clean
it with Windex.
133
00:05:17,101 --> 00:05:18,326
Okay.
134
00:05:18,332 --> 00:05:21,480
First of all, I make
my own window cleaner
135
00:05:21,486 --> 00:05:24,236
with a combination of
white distilled vinegar
136
00:05:24,242 --> 00:05:25,972
and freshly
squeezed lemon juice,
137
00:05:25,978 --> 00:05:27,725
and the fresh lemon juice
is the most important part!
138
00:05:27,731 --> 00:05:30,758
Okay, listen, we're gonna
finish this conversation later!
139
00:05:33,194 --> 00:05:37,283
Oh, man! Look at all
these people having brunch.
140
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,117
Is brunch funny?
141
00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:41,966
It is to me. I haven't
had brunch in 15 years.
142
00:05:41,972 --> 00:05:43,906
- You must be starving.
- I am.
143
00:05:43,912 --> 00:05:45,413
Oh, thank you.
144
00:05:46,016 --> 00:05:47,245
Thank you.
145
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,909
- Uh-oh.
- Something wrong?
146
00:05:50,515 --> 00:05:53,900
You ordered pico on the
side. That is pico on the top.
147
00:05:53,906 --> 00:05:55,539
Oh, no biggie.
148
00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:57,948
Huh? "No biggie"?
149
00:05:58,554 --> 00:06:00,071
You don't wanna send it back?
150
00:06:00,077 --> 00:06:01,307
Or make me send it back
151
00:06:01,314 --> 00:06:03,546
so the waiter doesn't hate
you for sending it back?
152
00:06:03,552 --> 00:06:05,668
'Cause I-I will. I-I
can get her over here.
153
00:06:05,674 --> 00:06:07,820
Nope. All ends up
in the same place.
154
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:14,250
It... it does end
up in the same place.
155
00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:16,366
That's exactly right!
156
00:06:16,549 --> 00:06:19,112
Were you in a long-term marriage
or an underground bunker?
157
00:06:20,144 --> 00:06:21,671
I am starting to wonder.
158
00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:24,839
And I'm seeing the
world through...
159
00:06:25,556 --> 00:06:26,887
brand-new eyes.
160
00:06:26,973 --> 00:06:29,390
- You are? Mmm.
- Mm-hmm.
161
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:36,744
Mmm. I'm noticing things that
I've never noticed before.
162
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:39,143
Me? You're noticing me?
163
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:41,395
I am noticing the
hell out of you.
164
00:06:46,232 --> 00:06:47,629
Is this okay?
165
00:06:47,635 --> 00:06:49,574
I'll tell you in a second.
166
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,781
Yep, it is.
167
00:06:59,722 --> 00:07:01,120
Were you wearing those glasses
168
00:07:01,126 --> 00:07:03,263
when I saw you the
other day at the market?
169
00:07:03,574 --> 00:07:05,919
I'm sure I was.
They're my glasses.
170
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,659
Yeah. They're your glasses.
171
00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:09,613
Come on.
172
00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:13,955
Wow!
173
00:07:14,821 --> 00:07:17,287
Look at all this stuff.
174
00:07:17,294 --> 00:07:19,432
Dad really saved everything.
175
00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:23,723
Including Mom. She
looks great, though.
176
00:07:23,729 --> 00:07:24,975
Can I have her?
177
00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:26,485
Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:27,908 --> 00:07:30,031
She always hated
physical affection.
179
00:07:30,037 --> 00:07:31,896
- Yeah.
- Sorry, Mom.
180
00:07:32,908 --> 00:07:38,181
Yes, every awkward phase of your
lives has been lovingly preserved.
181
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:39,650
You're welcome, girls.
182
00:07:40,887 --> 00:07:42,941
What are we even
looking for here?
183
00:07:42,947 --> 00:07:44,178
I don't know.
184
00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:46,382
Something that proves
that before I was a mom
185
00:07:46,388 --> 00:07:49,645
and just momming all the time,
that I was a female role model.
186
00:07:49,652 --> 00:07:51,969
- You were?
- Oh, look!
187
00:07:52,183 --> 00:07:54,636
My old Girl Scout
sash! I got every badge.
188
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,307
Uh, that's my Halloween
costume from college.
189
00:07:57,314 --> 00:07:59,065
- These are joke badges.
- Mmm.
190
00:07:59,172 --> 00:08:01,404
- See? This one's for binge drinking.
- _
191
00:08:01,411 --> 00:08:03,227
I earned a lot of
those sophomore year.
192
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,892
Okay, fine. So I'm
not a role model.
193
00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:08,449
Not a Michelle or
a Malala or an Amal
194
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,988
or a Hillary or a...
Oprah or even a Gayle.
195
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,817
If Mae did a report on me,
196
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:16,620
it'd probably be titled
"Nevertheless, she did dishes."
197
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,335
Uh, I think you're
being a little
198
00:08:18,341 --> 00:08:19,567
- hard on yourself.
- Mmm.
199
00:08:19,573 --> 00:08:21,030
Well, that's easy
for you to say.
200
00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:25,647
She picked you. Mae is
doing her essay on you.
201
00:08:25,653 --> 00:08:27,003
Really?
202
00:08:27,267 --> 00:08:30,434
- Wow, I don't even like Mae.
- Ditto.
203
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,634
I'm just kidding. She's
wonderfully acerbic.
204
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,526
I mean, could they
be less grateful?
205
00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:38,724
Come on. All kids are rotten.
You know that. Especially girls.
206
00:08:38,730 --> 00:08:40,757
Besides, Mae is wrong about you.
207
00:08:40,852 --> 00:08:43,345
As I recall, you had a
great deal of gumption.
208
00:08:43,351 --> 00:08:45,190
- Gumption, yeah!
- Sure.
209
00:08:45,196 --> 00:08:48,531
- You were early to join the workforce.
- Uh-huh. You in high school.
210
00:08:48,537 --> 00:08:51,202
Didn't you work in
that mailbox store?
211
00:08:51,728 --> 00:08:53,498
It was a FedEx Kinkos.
212
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,048
And I'm the only employee
who survived the merger.
213
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:57,631
There you go!
214
00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:59,552
Well, my daughter
doesn't look up to me.
215
00:08:59,633 --> 00:09:03,485
In fact, she looks down on me.
Why? Because I take care of her.
216
00:09:03,491 --> 00:09:06,388
So, tonight, I'm gonna
teach her a lesson.
217
00:09:08,902 --> 00:09:10,371
- Big date alert!
- _
218
00:09:10,377 --> 00:09:13,033
My buddy's getting laid
tonight. First time in two years.
219
00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:14,454
- Hot damn.
- Hey.
220
00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:16,058
Can you not tell people that?
221
00:09:16,064 --> 00:09:19,030
Come on, man. Don't worry.
It's a cone of silence in here.
222
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,997
So, what did Lena say about
you going out with Lisa Apple?
223
00:09:22,518 --> 00:09:23,842
I didn't tell her.
224
00:09:23,848 --> 00:09:25,861
Martin, you and Lena are
in a good place right now.
225
00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:27,533
- What are you...
- She didn't tell me who she was dating.
226
00:09:27,539 --> 00:09:29,654
Lena has history
with this woman.
227
00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:32,107
She finds out that you're
doing stuff behind her back,
228
00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,638
there will be blood.
229
00:09:33,645 --> 00:09:36,383
Full disclosure is the key
to all healthy relationships.
230
00:09:36,389 --> 00:09:38,664
- Yeah.
- What do you think, A-town?
231
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,507
- Let me run it by Camille. Mmm.
- You got it.
232
00:09:41,627 --> 00:09:44,904
And that is how it's done.
233
00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:49,777
Hey, baby. Cy's gonna send
you a photo of my new haircut.
234
00:09:49,783 --> 00:09:51,008
Approve please.
235
00:09:54,074 --> 00:09:55,367
Hey, gang.
236
00:09:55,373 --> 00:09:57,721
So, I'm out.
237
00:09:57,825 --> 00:09:59,492
- What?
- I'm out.
238
00:09:59,694 --> 00:10:01,395
I feel like too
much of my identity
239
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,084
is wrapped in being a mom,
240
00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,951
so I'm gon' go get turnt.
241
00:10:06,047 --> 00:10:07,272
That's hilarious.
242
00:10:07,278 --> 00:10:08,713
Mae, how do I look?
243
00:10:08,719 --> 00:10:11,475
Like someone who wants to
regarded as a sexual object
244
00:10:11,481 --> 00:10:13,100
rather than a
three-dimensional person.
245
00:10:13,106 --> 00:10:17,279
Oh, you are so second
wave sometimes, Mae.
246
00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:20,744
Hey. What about my bake
sale tomorrow? Brondies?
247
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,089
The recipe and ingredients
are on the kitchen counter.
248
00:10:23,095 --> 00:10:25,440
You're 14 and almost 16.
249
00:10:25,446 --> 00:10:27,148
I had a job when I was your age.
250
00:10:27,154 --> 00:10:30,008
So, I heard. She worked
in a mailbox store.
251
00:10:30,014 --> 00:10:32,767
Hey! It was a FedEx Kinkos.
252
00:10:33,252 --> 00:10:35,622
And I survived the merger!
253
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,303
So, where we going tonight?
254
00:10:40,309 --> 00:10:42,786
Actually I just need you to drive
around the block for like an hour
255
00:10:42,793 --> 00:10:44,556
so that my kids think
I'm out on the town.
256
00:10:44,562 --> 00:10:47,919
Hey... what? You-you-you all
dressed up to not go out on the town?
257
00:10:47,925 --> 00:10:49,651
What's up with that?
258
00:10:49,657 --> 00:10:51,894
My daughter thinks
I'm a bad role model.
259
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,952
Look, you need to stop
worrying about Little Mama
260
00:10:53,958 --> 00:10:56,432
- and start worrying about Big Mama.
- Big Mama?
261
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:59,063
Look, you looking all good.
You better go and hit that club.
262
00:10:59,069 --> 00:11:00,922
And I ain't talking
about no Sam's.
263
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:03,347
- Are you talking about...
- The club club.
264
00:11:03,465 --> 00:11:05,102
The clurb.
265
00:11:05,794 --> 00:11:08,880
Huh. The clurb.
266
00:11:10,384 --> 00:11:12,774
Yeah, I don't think
Big Mama can do that.
267
00:11:14,893 --> 00:11:16,442
Can Big Mama?
268
00:11:18,789 --> 00:11:21,056
It's getting kinda dark.
Why's it getting so dark?
269
00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:23,503
Because that's what happens
when the sun goes down.
270
00:11:23,509 --> 00:11:26,352
Why is nobody taking care of me?
271
00:11:26,778 --> 00:11:28,003
Who's there?
272
00:11:29,006 --> 00:11:31,859
What was that? Milo, stop
rolling around for a second.
273
00:11:33,072 --> 00:11:35,146
Milo isn't here.
274
00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:37,501
Tell me you heard that.
275
00:11:37,507 --> 00:11:42,351
Okay. Since I am the oldest and
least stupid, everyone follow me.
276
00:11:42,764 --> 00:11:44,814
- Where we going?
- Somewhere safe.
277
00:11:47,545 --> 00:11:48,771
Everybody in.
278
00:11:49,615 --> 00:11:51,984
This will be our panic
room till Mom gets home.
279
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:55,804
Good call. If we get hungry,
we can eat Mom's insoles.
280
00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:59,360
And if we get bored, we can
journey into the dark web.
281
00:12:01,913 --> 00:12:04,554
♪ Blame it on the
a-a-a-alcohol ♪
282
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,876
♪ Blame it on the vodka ♪
283
00:12:05,882 --> 00:12:07,306
♪ Blame it on the Henny ♪
284
00:12:07,312 --> 00:12:09,866
♪ Blame it on the blue
tap, got you feeling dizzy ♪
285
00:12:09,872 --> 00:12:12,634
♪ Blame it on the a-a-alcohol ♪
286
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:15,916
♪ Blame it on the a-a-alcohol,
blame it on the... ♪
287
00:12:15,922 --> 00:12:17,990
Hey, this place is pretty lit!
288
00:12:18,062 --> 00:12:19,706
We're not really open yet.
289
00:12:19,713 --> 00:12:21,443
Still, it's pretty lit.
290
00:12:24,169 --> 00:12:25,903
Oh, my God. I love this song!
291
00:12:27,225 --> 00:12:28,669
Turn it up! Turn it up!
292
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,045
♪ On the floors of Tokyo ♪
293
00:12:34,051 --> 00:12:36,794
♪ Or down in London
Town to go, go ♪
294
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,639
♪ With the record selection
and the mirror's reflection ♪
295
00:12:39,645 --> 00:12:42,157
♪ I'm dancing with myself ♪
296
00:12:42,163 --> 00:12:45,027
♪ When there's no
one else in sight ♪
297
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:47,552
♪ In the crowded lonely night ♪
298
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,481
♪ Well, I wait so long
for my love vibration ♪
299
00:12:50,487 --> 00:12:53,552
♪ And I'm dancing
with myself, oh, oh ♪
300
00:12:53,558 --> 00:12:56,224
♪ Dancing with myself, oh, oh ♪
301
00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:58,461
♪ Dancing with myself ♪
302
00:12:58,467 --> 00:13:00,069
♪ Well, there's nothing to lose ♪
303
00:13:00,075 --> 00:13:01,592
♪ And there's nothing to prove ♪
304
00:13:03,522 --> 00:13:05,356
God, what am I doing here?
305
00:13:06,809 --> 00:13:10,000
- Hello?
- Hello?
306
00:13:10,096 --> 00:13:12,226
- Can you hear me?
- Yes.
307
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,989
I drank too much
and it's your fault.
308
00:13:15,496 --> 00:13:16,818
My fault?
309
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,978
Because you were rude to me!
310
00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:21,855
- What? I...
- Yes, you were!
311
00:13:21,943 --> 00:13:24,604
Tell me the truth. Do you
want to break up with me?
312
00:13:24,908 --> 00:13:26,133
Do you?
313
00:13:26,343 --> 00:13:28,114
Hold on a sec.
314
00:13:32,257 --> 00:13:33,482
Oh, God.
315
00:13:39,311 --> 00:13:41,873
Hold on, honey. Come on.
Hold on. I'm coming in.
316
00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:46,642
Hey.
317
00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:48,392
Hi.
318
00:13:48,780 --> 00:13:50,005
Oh, God.
319
00:13:51,052 --> 00:13:52,364
Hi.
320
00:13:52,495 --> 00:13:55,953
Hi. Okay.
321
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,306
Ooh, wow.
322
00:13:58,312 --> 00:14:00,954
How are you this drunk at 6:45?
323
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,299
I don't think he loves me.
324
00:14:03,305 --> 00:14:05,798
Oh, oh, it's okay.
325
00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:08,430
No, it isn't! I love him.
326
00:14:08,437 --> 00:14:10,287
Like, I'm in love with him.
327
00:14:10,495 --> 00:14:12,658
- I need his kisses.
- No, you don't.
328
00:14:12,664 --> 00:14:15,087
- And I need kisses.
- No, you don't.
329
00:14:15,093 --> 00:14:17,129
- I need kisses.
- Stop. Stop saying "kisses".
330
00:14:17,349 --> 00:14:18,675
I need kisses.
331
00:14:18,681 --> 00:14:22,328
Listen. What you need is
a wet wipe, some Advil,
332
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:24,164
and a travel-sized
bottle of mouthwash.
333
00:14:24,170 --> 00:14:26,808
Oh, my God. That
purse is everything.
334
00:14:26,963 --> 00:14:28,385
- It's magical.
- Okay.
335
00:14:28,391 --> 00:14:29,795
You're magical.
336
00:14:30,289 --> 00:14:34,078
You are. Yeah, and it's time
that you embrace that, okay?
337
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:38,573
If we are gonna give away
the best parts of ourselves,
338
00:14:38,579 --> 00:14:41,855
then it better to
someone who deserves it.
339
00:14:42,274 --> 00:14:44,709
Alright? Because you're great.
340
00:14:44,806 --> 00:14:46,065
I'm great.
341
00:14:46,071 --> 00:14:47,296
Here.
342
00:14:48,786 --> 00:14:50,828
You have a little
ranch on your dress.
343
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,902
God, I hope it's ranch.
344
00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:57,343
I bet you'd be a
really great mom.
345
00:14:58,779 --> 00:15:00,081
You know what?
346
00:15:00,795 --> 00:15:02,615
I am a great mom.
347
00:15:06,712 --> 00:15:09,657
Oh, come... You're
going to be okay.
348
00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:14,490
Things are going to be
okay. They are, you know?
349
00:15:16,507 --> 00:15:17,733
Hello?
350
00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:21,442
Oh, my God.
351
00:15:26,656 --> 00:15:29,646
- Did you hear that? Did you hear that, Mae?
- Yes, I did.
352
00:15:29,652 --> 00:15:32,099
- Stranger danger!
- Please don't kill us!
353
00:15:35,481 --> 00:15:37,126
How did you know
we were in here?
354
00:15:37,132 --> 00:15:38,591
Milo texted me.
355
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:41,112
Are you here to help
me with my homework?
356
00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:45,151
Um...
357
00:15:47,284 --> 00:15:50,261
Okay, so, what happened to Mom?
358
00:15:50,609 --> 00:15:53,592
- She just went AWOL.
- She didn't go AWOL!
359
00:15:53,598 --> 00:15:56,420
Why are you yelling? You don't
even know what "AWOL" means.
360
00:15:57,341 --> 00:15:59,103
I'd like to believe
our mother has embarked
361
00:15:59,109 --> 00:16:01,530
on a spiritual journey
to discover who she is
362
00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:04,458
outside of the label she
uses to define herself.
363
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:08,031
- On the eve of my bake sale.
- Okay, stop talking, all of you.
364
00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,442
I hope you little rats know
365
00:16:09,448 --> 00:16:11,084
that the only reason
anything ever good happens
366
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,244
in this house is
because of your mother.
367
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:15,177
Every birthday, every Christmas.
368
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,475
If it were up to me,
you would all live unfed
369
00:16:17,481 --> 00:16:19,541
and unclothed in the yard.
370
00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:22,180
- Now do your homework.
- I did my homework.
371
00:16:22,186 --> 00:16:23,919
Can you make dinner?
372
00:16:24,827 --> 00:16:26,556
Hey, don't ask her.
373
00:16:26,562 --> 00:16:28,850
She's not here for
you. She's here for me.
374
00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:30,273
Gross.
375
00:16:32,753 --> 00:16:34,169
I will make dinner.
376
00:16:34,666 --> 00:16:37,206
Hey, can you also make
brondies for my bake sale?
377
00:16:37,514 --> 00:16:39,568
- Brondies?
- Yeah.
378
00:16:39,575 --> 00:16:40,800
Martin.
379
00:16:43,106 --> 00:16:45,948
Bake sale? This is
going to be a disaster.
380
00:16:45,954 --> 00:16:48,611
The only baking I do is
directly after waking.
381
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:50,435
I'm not a baker.
382
00:16:50,441 --> 00:16:52,478
Lucky for you,
this little lady is.
383
00:16:52,484 --> 00:16:54,563
- You?
- No, not me. Her.
384
00:16:54,569 --> 00:16:57,246
Grandma Flour's Bakery
is only 1.3 miles away.
385
00:16:57,252 --> 00:16:59,779
They have 160 five-star reviews
386
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:02,556
and their specialty is brownies.
387
00:17:02,865 --> 00:17:05,403
I don't know. Lena
always bakes from scratch.
388
00:17:05,409 --> 00:17:07,167
Why make things harder
than they have to be?
389
00:17:09,597 --> 00:17:12,851
"Why make things harder
than they have to be?"
390
00:17:13,876 --> 00:17:16,227
Kids, I'm going 1.3 miles.
391
00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:18,582
- You guys going to be okay for a minute?
- We'll be fine.
392
00:17:18,588 --> 00:17:20,014
Uh, keys.
393
00:17:20,117 --> 00:17:21,434
Oh, there.
394
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:28,052
I wanna kiss you right now, but
I can't 'cause of these kids.
395
00:17:33,869 --> 00:17:35,273
You're so funny.
396
00:17:35,594 --> 00:17:37,535
Oh, hello.
397
00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:38,888
Hi, Lena.
398
00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:41,015
- Lisa Apple's here.
- Dad invited her.
399
00:17:41,021 --> 00:17:42,576
Oh!
400
00:17:42,882 --> 00:17:45,980
Lisa, Lisa. And the Cult Jam.
401
00:17:46,873 --> 00:17:49,123
You're looking very
scholarly tonight.
402
00:17:49,918 --> 00:17:52,561
Uh, I didn't realize
that Martin had
403
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:55,513
hired you to help with the
kids, so what do we owe you?
404
00:18:03,077 --> 00:18:07,063
What'd we say... we said $13?
405
00:18:07,070 --> 00:18:09,111
- Yep. Okay.
- One, two, $12.
406
00:18:09,118 --> 00:18:10,395
It was $12.
407
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,937
Lena, where the hell were you?
408
00:18:13,943 --> 00:18:16,316
I was trying to
teach Mae a lesson.
409
00:18:16,322 --> 00:18:18,637
And I do think those kids are
ready for more responsibility.
410
00:18:18,643 --> 00:18:20,070
I mean, when I
was their age, I...
411
00:18:20,076 --> 00:18:22,299
#SurvivedTheMerger.
412
00:18:22,305 --> 00:18:23,633
We know.
413
00:18:23,943 --> 00:18:26,797
But I agree, those kids should
be fending for themselves.
414
00:18:27,305 --> 00:18:29,682
And I'm sorry I didn't
tell you about Lisa Apple.
415
00:18:29,688 --> 00:18:32,316
I just... I didn't want you
to know that Lisa was a thing
416
00:18:32,322 --> 00:18:33,831
until I knew that
Lisa was a thing.
417
00:18:33,837 --> 00:18:36,378
And I certainly didn't want to
bring her around the kids that early.
418
00:18:36,384 --> 00:18:38,663
It's okay. It's Lisa Apple.
419
00:18:39,046 --> 00:18:41,794
You get to be with
someone young and fun.
420
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,857
And I get to find out why she
wears those ridiculous glasses.
421
00:18:44,863 --> 00:18:47,348
I'm really glad that we
can have this conversation
422
00:18:47,558 --> 00:18:49,505
- without fighting.
- Me, too.
423
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:52,262
- We're good.
- We are good.
424
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:55,218
Okay, well, we're gonna...
we're gonna get going.
425
00:18:55,224 --> 00:18:59,124
We? Oh, Lisa Apple and you.
426
00:18:59,449 --> 00:19:00,674
Right.
427
00:19:07,533 --> 00:19:08,820
Mom?
428
00:19:09,294 --> 00:19:10,519
Mae?
429
00:19:11,592 --> 00:19:14,092
- You okay?
- No.
430
00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:22,460
I'm a bad feminist
and daughter, too.
431
00:19:22,664 --> 00:19:25,764
What? Why would you say that?
432
00:19:26,477 --> 00:19:28,120
I mom-shamed you,
433
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:31,286
which isn't at all in the
spirit of the movement.
434
00:19:31,292 --> 00:19:33,655
Oh, it's okay, sweetie.
435
00:19:34,221 --> 00:19:36,191
No, it isn't.
436
00:19:36,197 --> 00:19:38,642
And although I want you to
437
00:19:38,648 --> 00:19:41,567
break free of the domestic
chains that bind you...
438
00:19:41,573 --> 00:19:43,309
Nothing is binding me.
439
00:19:43,509 --> 00:19:46,908
No one is binding me, okay?
440
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,445
I chose to do things this way.
441
00:19:49,452 --> 00:19:53,019
Work part-time so that I
can be home with you kids.
442
00:19:53,328 --> 00:19:55,575
And I think I'm doing
a pretty good job
443
00:19:55,581 --> 00:19:57,818
because look at how
cool you turned out.
444
00:19:57,824 --> 00:20:00,875
I know an entire cheerleading
squad that would beg to differ.
445
00:20:00,881 --> 00:20:02,955
Who cares about the
cheerleading squad?
446
00:20:03,096 --> 00:20:06,066
It's the band geeks who are
going to be running the world.
447
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,997
The band geeks hate me, too.
448
00:20:08,923 --> 00:20:12,183
Sorry I acted like being
a mom wasn't important.
449
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,512
I really didn't like how it felt
when you weren't home tonight.
450
00:20:17,846 --> 00:20:21,238
Because, nevertheless...
451
00:20:21,525 --> 00:20:23,499
she makes everyone feel safe.
452
00:20:26,841 --> 00:20:30,008
Wait, why would the
band geeks hate you?
453
00:20:30,914 --> 00:20:33,511
I licked the clarinet
player's reed.
454
00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:45,224
- Wow.
- Yeah.
455
00:20:46,228 --> 00:20:48,032
Well, that was worth
more than 12 bucks.
456
00:20:48,153 --> 00:20:52,205
- Gee, thanks.
- No, I'm serious. You could go pro.
457
00:20:52,525 --> 00:20:54,966
Your pillow talk
could use some work.
458
00:20:55,498 --> 00:20:57,218
Ugh, I'm sorry.
459
00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:02,664
I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry...
460
00:21:02,670 --> 00:21:06,633
for what happened at our
house with Lena and the kids.
461
00:21:07,281 --> 00:21:10,033
I know that's not what
either of us had in mind.
462
00:21:10,039 --> 00:21:13,206
Oh, what are you gonna
do? It is what it is.
463
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,109
"It is what it is".
464
00:21:17,705 --> 00:21:19,804
I love this woman's outlook!
34496
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