All language subtitles for Definitely.Dusty.1999.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

You only had to hear three notes
and you knew it was her.

That's a great thing about a singer.

# The look of love

# Is in... #

Part of her attraction was that

she was a white girl who could sing
that fabulous black R'n'B music.

Because that's what I loved.
That, to me, was yes! Yes!

And that was what girl power
was in the 60s.

# The only one who could
ever reach me

# Was the son of a preacher man

# The only boy... #

I think Dusty does sum up
the fabness of the 60s

with her voice and with the hairdo.

The kind of bouffant hairdo.

And, of course, the trademark
eye make-up made her very iconic.

# I think I'm going back... #

There was a vulnerability
about her voice

and her personality
which attracted me to her.

I think that's what
attracts the public

to great singers and personalities
from show business,

is their vulnerability.

They're waiting for them
to crack open at any second.

# Dusty Springfield

# That's a pretty name,
it even sounds like a game

# In a green field

# Hobby horses play the dusty game
when it's May

# Pink and paisley skies

# Shining in green eyes,
a magic pinwheel

# London flowers fair

# Blooming in her hair

# Dusty Springfield. #

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much.

# When I said I needed you

# You said you would always stay

# It wasn't me who changed but you

# And now you're far away

# Don't you see that now you've gone

# And I'm left here on my own... #

Since the death of
Dusty Springfield in March 1999,

just short of her 60th birthday,

fans and musicians have
continued to celebrate

one of Britain's
greatest ever singers.

# You don't have to say
you love me... #

Born Mary Isobel Catherine O'Brien

to Anglo-Irish-Scottish parents,

she became the original
60s Brit girl,

the so-called "white negress,"
a gay icon, a diva.

# ..Till I do,
all I see is you... #

Over a career spanning four decades,

Dusty's glamorous image was to be
as much her hallmark as her voice.

But it masked
a deeply private person.

Dusty herself was torn between
two characters -

Mary O'Brien, the plain,
insecure redhead,

and Dusty Springfield,
the star she created.

A household name, she both
invited attention and shunned it.

This is the story of the Dusty
we thought we knew.

# You don't have to say you love me

# Just be close at hand

# You don't have to stay for ever

# I will understand

# Believe me

# Believe me

# You don't have to say
you love me... #

I have a theme song. It's Oh, Lord,
Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood.

I'm the most misquoted and
misunderstood person I know. Honest.

# Here she comes,
here she comes... #

Dusty hated work. She hated singing,
she hated performing.

Motivation was money.

It was a means to an end.

It was the only thing she could
think of to do to make any money,

and so she had to sing.

# See all her faces... #

I think she sang because

she needed to be loved
for who she was.

And she was never sure.

She didn't trust herself
and she didn't trust anybody

and she never trusted her ability to
sing and to move and to touch people.

# ..I'm looking for someone
of the gentle kind

# Knowing that looks can lie... #

Basically, she was very shy.

On stage, I don't know
what happened to her because
she became another person.

Before she went on she'd go red all
the way down here with sheer panic.

She couldn't find things, she'd be
nervous, she'd be tripping over.

"Is this right? Is that right?"

She'd go on and there was the star.

# Look at her now

# She needs love so much more,
so much... #

She used to call them somebody else.

Dusty was Dusty Springfield
and she was Mary O'Brien.

There was two people.

I mean, she transformed. As soon
as the fingernails went on and
the hair was done, that was Dusty.

She became Dusty then.
She was two people.

# ..See all her faces

# See all her faces... #

At 13, I was pure St Trinian's.

The hockey sticks, the works, round
glasses, Panama hat, a disaster area.

And then, I guess
it was really an overnight thing,

that I decided I must change.

I realised this person looking at me
in the mirror would not make it.

I decided I wanted to be someone
else so I became someone else.

Now I'm trying to find the other one.

# ..See all her faces... #

# All together, girls,
one, two, three... #

Dusty shocked the nuns by saying
she wanted to be a blues singer.

After playing the London folk clubs
with her brother Tom,

the 19-year-old Dusty joined vocal
harmony trio The Lana Sisters.

# Did you really

# Mighty colour of the moonlight

# Let my baby know I miss him

# Let him know
I long to kiss him... #

# Silver threads and golden needles
Cannot mend this heart... #

In 1960, Dusty rejoined her brother
Tom to form The Springfields.

Third member, Tim Field was replaced
the following year by Mike Hurst,

in time for their biggest
British hit, Island Of Dreams.

# I wander the streets

# And the gay crowded places

# Trying to forget you

# But somehow it seems

# That my thoughts ever stray... #

I was aware immediately
how great her voice was

compared to the other
female singers of the day.

1962-63. The quality
of her voice was unique.

# ..High in the sky

# Is a bird on the wing

# Please carry me with you... #

Smile. That was the whole thing.
Tom used to say it all the time,

"Just smile."
And he hated it anyway.

He had this sort of fixed smile
on his face which never left him.

So that's the way it was.
It was very, very MOR, very cabaret.

That isn't what Dusty wanted.

# Sing a little song
that you can't resist

# Que bonita maraca bamba

# Maraca bamba

# Round and round inside your brain

# Que bonita maraca bamba

# Hey, maraca bamba

# Well, now, we're gonna sing again

# Que bonita maraca bamba

# Bamba, bamba! #

# Get ready cos here I come

# I'm on my way

# Get ready cos here I come

# Get ready cos here I come

# Get ready cos here I come

# I'm on my way

# Get ready cos here I come

# Get ready cos here I come. #

# I don't know what it is
that makes me love you so

# I only know
I never wanna let you go

# Cos you've started something,
oh, can't you see

# That ever since we met
you've had a hold on me

# It happens to be true

# I only wanna be with you

# Yeah

# It doesn't matter where you go
or what you do

# I wanna spend each moment
of the day with you... #

Dusty the solo singer
burst onto the scene in 1963

and was an immediate success.

But her rise to stardom
was not without difficulty.

# ..I only wanna be with you,
yeah. #

# You stopped and smiled at me

# Asked if I care to dance... #

DUSTY: She's somebody else.

Basically, I'm quite a shy person to
take on the mantle of a performer.

It's not an easy act.

She had to go on stage

and be this big, strong woman

who had so much power and could
captivate thousands of people.

But when she went home,
she was that scared little girl
cos that's what she was.

I identified with her
in that situation.

She was very insecure about
the way she looked.

She had great self-doubt. But that
sometimes makes a great artist.

People think of, you know, the
glamorous Dusty that they saw on TV

but that wasn't probably
the real her.

# Why don't you stop

Stop

# And look me over

Me over

# Am I the same girl
you used to know...? #

I think she saw Dusty Springfield
as a creation

in many ways.

And a creation that took
a long time to dress up in.

Getting ready to be Dusty took hours.

She would have looked great
in half an hour, I'm sure.

But her insecurities were in charge.

And maybe a bit of obsessiveness too.

# Am I the same girl?

# Yes I am, yes I am... #

She really went through it
to be beautiful.

Because she was small,
she was only 5' 3".

So to have to wear high heels
but not too high because
she didn't want to look stupid

and this hair, and people said
"Does she take her make-up off?"

To my knowledge, she kept
the black on. She'd blot it.

But she would keep it on
and she could hide behind that.

I find it an effort
to keep up appearances.

Cos it takes so long.
I'd rather be asleep.

It's very hard to describe oneself
anyway because you don't see...

I'm very short-sighted so I'm
constantly peering in mirrors.

And people say, "God, isn't she
conceited!" and I can't see anything.

I can look in a mirror and I can't
see how much eye black I've got on.

I just know I've got a lot on.
I can't see the ends of my fingers.

She couldn't see people until
they were really close up to her

which, she said, was an advantage
because she was so insecure
of having to deal with people.

One of her... One of my
favourite of her expressions:

"Never let yourself be
too get-at-able."

And she said, "Being in my position,
being so short-sighted,

"it means people have to come close
in order for me to recognise them.

"If they're over there,
I don't have to speak to them -
I can't see them."

Her and Sandie Shaw were the two
blindest pop singers of the 60s.

Sandie Shaw was known for being
barefoot, she should have been
known for being partially blind.

Poor thing. But Dusty did use
the make-up as a bit of a mask.

Everything was all part of a mask.

# ..Bailando con mi amigo

# Aqui todos ven por aqui

# Chicos y chicas

# Ven a bailar

# El baile... #

# Let's take a trip in a trailer
No need to come back... #

With this transformation
to glamorous star complete,

Dusty had a string of hits
in the 60s and hosted a TV show.

# When I throw my arms out wide

# I find that you're not
by my side... #

She seemed to be able
to sing anything whilst remaining
distinctively Dusty.

# ..all I see is you. #

# Everybody, have you heard

# Gonna buy me a mockingbird
Mockingbird

# If that mockingbird don't sing

# If that mockingbird don't sing

# Gonna buy me
a diamond ring... #

She was a great pop singer,
a great soul singer,

a great ballad singer,

a great folk singer,
a great jazz singer.

She was so good
at so many different things.

I trusted what she sang.

It didn't make any difference if,
once in a while, the note
was a bit sharp or a bit flat.

They were jewels.

# The look of love

# Is in your eyes

# A look your heart can't disguise

# The look... #

I love the way Dusty sang The Look
Of Love. It was smoky. It was sexy.

It was restrained.

It was held in check
but underneath it was smouldering.

It was just on fire.

Just so much romance and passion
and coolness to her, you know.

# ..well, it takes my breath away

# I can hardly wait to hold you

# Feel my arms around you

# How long I have waited

# Waited just to love you

# Now that I have found you

# Don't ever go... #

When she sang one of those breathy
songs, it was like a reed instrument.

And it was such a fragile sound.

But then she was capable of
soaring above a great R'n'B song
and being so powerful,

you almost wouldn't believe
it was the same woman.

# Gonna build a mountain

# Gonna build a mountain

# Least I know I will

# I hope I will

# Gonna build a mountain

# Gonna build a mountain

# Gonna build it so high

# I don't know how
I'm gonna build it

# All I know I'm gonna try

# Gonna build a mountain

# Gonna build a mountain... #

Dubbed the queen of blue-eyed soul,

Dusty was often assumed to be black

by those who had heard
but not seen her.

She sometimes admitted
to feeling like an impostor.

But, with a few exceptions,
black musicians respected her.

She was a tireless promoter
of black music,

whether hosting Ready Steady Go,
or covering soul on her own show.

# Higher and higher
# Yeah, higher and higher

# Higher and higher
# Oh, higher and higher

# Higher and higher
# Just build a mountain

# Higher and higher
# Yeah

# Higher and higher
# Gonna build it

# Higher and higher
# Yeah... #

Well, I think she was...

If you scraped off the Irish

Mary Isobel Catherine
Bernadette O'Brien,

she was black underneath.

# Get ready cos here I come

# If you wanna play hide and seek
with love, let me remind you

# You're all right

# All the lovin' you're gonna miss
in the time it takes to find you... #

Before Dusty, British female singers
were still in the 50s.

Dusty changed it virtually overnight.

Suddenly she made records sounding
like they were made in America.

She was singing like an American.

But it didn't sound like an
impression. It was the real thing.

# Get ready, here I come

# Get ready cos here I come... #

Britain suddenly had a soul singer.

People forget that
when you say, "soul singer,"

you don't mean the person is black,
you just mean they sing from there.

Soul singers don't have a colour.

Everybody knows that Dusty
was mesmerised by black singers.

She just loved the Martha Reeves and
Aretha Franklins and Dionne Warwicks

and there is a tremendously
soulful spiritual feeling

even though she wasn't raised in a
Baptist church shaking a tambourine.

# Calling out around the world

# Are you ready for
a brand new beat?

# Yeah

# Summer's here and the time
is right for dancing in the street

# They're dancing in Chicago

# Down in New Orleans

# In New York City

# All is you need is music

# Sweet music

# There'll be music everywhere

# They'll be swinging and swaying
and records playing

# And dancing in the street... #

There were other ladies who embraced
our music and did cover versions -

Cilla Black, Petula Clark and Lulu -
that I can remember doing our songs.

However, Dusty was the one
who got into the music and did cover
versions and glorified the music.

She was in awe of us
and we were in awe of her.

# Like a heatwave

# Burning in my heart

# Heatwave

# I can't keep from crying

# Heatwave

# It's tearing me apart... #

I come from a white bread
English family

who were brought up on Gilbert
and Sullivan and South Pacific

and I'd never heard a black singer
and Dusty was playing me these
black soul records and I loved them.

So over the course of Ready Steady,
I could book who I wanted

so I'd book Otis Reading, Ike and
Tina Turner, James Brown and Motown.

We would play their records and none
of them had been to England and they
put together a Motown review.

We had a special and Dusty hosted it.

# Wishin' and hopin'
and thinkin' and prayin'... #

MARTHA REEVES: She welcomed Smokey,
and the Supremes weren't known then.

The Temptations with My Girl -
they were the stars of the show.

Stevie Wonder did Fingertips
and we did a great show.

The thrill of it all
was singing the duet with Dusty.

Wishin' and Hopin'.
I think our voices blended so well.

That was really a thrill.
And we were friends since then.

Dusty was cast as a hero
of the anti-apartheid movement

when her 1964 tour to South Africa
provoked a political storm.

Her contract stated she would play
only to mixed audiences.

Confronted with a sea of all-white
faces at a concert, Dusty rebelled.

She was forced to abandon the tour
and return home.

Why did you have the anti-apartheid
clause written into your contract?

Do you feel strongly politically
about this?

No, I don't know the first thing
about politics.

All I know is that if...
I think anybody,

if they want to buy a ticket,
should be allowed to do so.

This was the agreement I went under.

Why was your contract different
to previous ones?

I may be wrong about this,

but I think most British artists

that have been there before

have played one or two

segregated concerts

and I didn't want to do it.

# Can I get a witness?

# I want a witness

# Witness, witness

# Witness, witness

# Everybody knows

# Especially you, boy... #

Dusty was not to become known
for her politics

but the South African incident

underlined her emerging reputation
as a hell raiser.

Her hot temper and sense of humour
meant trouble followed her around.

Dusty's outsider status was fuelled
by rumours about her sexuality

which were countered with
carefully managed publicity

that presented her both as straight
and forever on the verge of romance.

The flip side was a punishing
schedule of touring and recording.

From the early days, she suffered
from nervous exhaustion.

Her workload was increased
by her hands-on approach.

I would see Dusty
actually take charge

and people weren't always happy she
was adamant about what she wanted.

I've kind of got
a bit more like that now.

But I admired that and I loved
that... I saw it as feistiness.

It was hard, no doubt about it,
because she's extremely musical

and knew sounds and knew
what she wanted on her records
and was influenced by America.

So she felt strongly that she wanted
certain sounds that English
musicians perhaps hadn't played,

arrangers hadn't thought about and
she was constantly playing records
saying, "This is what we want."

# I close my eyes

# And count to ten

# And when I open them
you're still here... #

She would like the bass player
to use his fingers,

because that's what she'd seen
in America.

Things that don't mean anything to
most people were important to her.

But she brought them over to the UK.

A lot of musicians didn't like that.
But she knew what she wanted.

# You don't own me

# I'm not just one of your many toys

# You don't own me... #

People never give women credit
for knowing that they can get it.

And Dusty did and in fairness Johnny
France, the producer, was excellent.

He was older and he was more than
happy to sit back, put his feet up
and let her get on with it.

# Don't tell me what to do

# And don't tell me what to say... #

When you think about it,
in the early 60s and mid-60s,

it was very male dominated.

So for this so-called "star"
to come along,

female, telling us what to do,

it wasn't really accepted.

But that's why she got
the reputation and she used to say,

When a man stands his ground,
it's, "Yeah, he stood his ground,"

but when a woman stands her
ground, she's a B-I-T-C-H.

My first consciousness of Dusty
Springfield was driving to work

one day in 1965 from Long Island

into our Atlantic Records office
in Manhattan.

And I had the radio on, of course,
and here comes this beautiful voice,

and I hadn't heard it before.

And it was mesmerising.

The song I heard on the radio
that day was Some Of Your Lovin'.

Her voice really struck me and I
knew this was somebody very special.

# I know a man likes to feel
that he's been around

# Before he decides to settle down

# I've no doubt, some day,
you're gonna feel that way too

# But, baby, just remember,
until you do

# You gotta give me some,
give me some of your lovin'

# You gotta give me some
of your lovin'

# Now I'm not a greedy girl

# I don't need the world

# Give me some of your lovin'

# Oh, some of your lovin'
# Some

# Oh-oh-oh-oh... #

Attracted by Jerry Wexler's work

with artists like Ray Charles
and Aretha Franklin,

Dusty teamed up with the legendary
producer to make her next album,

the classic Dusty In Memphis.

But it was to be a rocky road.

So we scheduled for American Studios
in Memphis. The band was brilliant.

But, to my dismay, Dusty
absolutely would not sing a note.

I don't know how many days we spent
in Memphis. Probably about two weeks.

She just wouldn't sing.

Jerry's said I'm the most insecure
singer he's ever come across,

and at that time,
he was quite right.

What he didn't realise
was how intimidated I was.

They were telling stories
and talking about Aretha

and I'm going,
"Why are they recording me?"

And that showed in the time it took
to get performances out of me.

We ended up in New York
in a hired studio on 57th Street

and that's where we did the vocals.

And there were just Arif, Tom Dowd
and myself in there to work with her.

And er... There was one...

During one song,
I had to duck a flying ashtray!

I haven't told that before.
I don't think I put it down!

Dusty had the stigmata
of perfectibility.

So when she did perform,

she was afraid to let it go
because her standards were so high

and it might not come out right.

# Just a little loving

# Early in the morning... #

DUSTY: There was an element in me

that always...often thought
I was a sham anyway.

It took a lot to break that down,

that critic in me.

And they did it.
They got it out of me somehow.

# I don't wanna hear it anymore

# I don't wanna hear it... #

She contravened all the
received and perceived notions
of how to do a vocal.

Because the band has finished
and she has earphones on

and Dusty kept calling
for more track, more track

and finally it reached the point,
I couldn't believe it,

she's doing a vocal and says, "More
track, I can still hear myself."

Imagine. She wanted so much track

that she couldn't hear the vocal
that she was projecting at the time.

I can't imagine how she did it,

how she stayed in tune,
stayed in time,

and sang with Dusty's personality
and created these marvellous vocals.

# Billy Ray was a preacher's son

# And when his daddy would visit,
he'd come along

# When they'd gather round
and started talking

# That's when Billy
would take me walking

# A-through the back yard
we'd go walking

# Then he looked into my eyes

# Lord knows to my surprise

# The only one
who could ever reach me

# Was the son of a preacher man

# The only boy
who could ever teach me

# Was the son of a preacher man

# Yes, he was, he was

# Oh, yes, he was... #

If you'd left it to her,

I don't think half her material
would have been released.

She was always striving to be better
and saying,

"I'd like to have sung
that like Aretha sung it."

Her own stuff was never good enough.

She always came away going,
"I could have done that better."

# You've been crying,
your face is a mess

# Come here, baby,
you can dry the tears on my dress

# She's hurt you again, I can tell

# Oh, I know that look so well

# Don't be shy... #

In 1970, Dusty gave an interview

to Ray Connolly
of the London Evening Standard

in which she admitted her
bisexuality for the first time.

Though many have claimed
she was simply a lesbian,

Dusty was adamant
she would not be confined

by other peoples' categories.

I always felt that the whole
gay scene was very open.

I mean, there was
never any problem with it.

For non-stars,
it was absolutely fine.

But for the business, nothing's
changed. It's the same today.

People don't announce their sexuality
because it's not good for business.

Although she has gone public
on two or three occasions,

I sometimes had the impression
that she wished she hadn't.

Although I believe
she'd have been a happier person,

if she'd been absolutely clear
and got the subject out of the way,

she obviously couldn't do it,
for whatever reason.

I think that was a pity.

If she did find out she was bisexual,

I think she would have thought,
"Oh, that's against my religion".

Maybe that's why
she became a lapsed Catholic.

I think it made her
more introvert about it.

She ALWAYS felt guilty.

I don't know if she'd have been
as brave as Ellen DeGeneres.

But she was as outrageous,

or would have liked to have been,

as Madonna, on occasion, has been.

The outrageousness of certain
people really appealed to her.

Dusty's love of the outrageous,

and a public persona that at once
suggested AND hid her sexuality,

ensured her status as a gay icon.

Her camp wit was to
land her in trouble

when she gave a concert
in front of Princess Margaret

at the Royal Albert Hall in 1979.

By then, Simon Bell
had become her backing singer.

Dusty noticed that the audience was
largely gay, especially at the front.

She made a remark that
it was nice to see that royalty
wasn't confined to the box.

Apparently, Princess Margaret
didn't like that.

I find it hard to believe
that Princess Margaret
hasn't had a sense of humour.

Apparently, she was not amused.

A letter came from St James' Palace

instructing Dusty
that she had to sign an apology

for having insulted the Crown.

Dusty signed it.
I was very surprised.

That proves she's not quite
the hell-raiser that we'd think.

DUSTY: This is for all the people
who have been legends in their time,

I'm sure you know...
CHEERING

Sometimes the ladies I'm speaking of
give too much of themselves,

sometimes not enough.

This song is really for
all those people, all those women,

no matter where they are now.

She was a great dramatic singer.

She fitted into the mould
drawn by Judy Garland.

And...later when she wasn't
at her peak, vocally,

there was always that element of,
"Was she going to make it?"

Again, drawing on
the same source as Judy.

It was easy to see why
she was going to be a gay icon.

She made wonderful,
heart-rending songs

that a certain kind of gay man,
and woman,

loved to sit and listen to, you know.

# Quiet please,
there's a lady on stage

# She may not be the latest rage

# But she's singing and she means it

# That deserves a little silence

# Quiet please,
there's a woman up there

# She's been honest
through her songs... #

She was a diva, and the fact that
she wasn't easy to deal with

and the vulnerability,
that appeals to gay people.

They see themselves, and they're a
bit tortured. She was a bit tortured.

# ...Put your hands together
and help her along

# All that's left of the singers

# All that's left of the song

# Rise to the occasion... #

Two things made Dusty a gay icon.

Firstly, the music.

Then, the look.

Dusty made a remark in the 1980s,

"I must be getting popular again,
the drag queens are doing me!"

She was just camp.
That's what attracted them.

Every drag queen
wanted to look like her.

I can't tell you how many parties
I've been to where some drag queen
turned up like her!

She was a camp icon.

Also, the hand movements.
The whole package.

At her funeral, Lulu told this story
that Dusty developed it

because she wrote
the lyrics on her arm.

Ah! I loved it when she'd go...

I can't remember which song.
Say it was:

# Where did our love lie?

# In the middle of nowhere. #

Because she'd forget the next...
That wasn't a good example.

But she'd have the words up her arms,
on her hands.

There was ink everywhere.

Because she'd forget.
She'd forget lines, which we all do.

But hers were so obvious,
but she turned it into...

# Where did our love lie? #
And she'd do that.

Cos she was partly blind, she'd
have to go right up to her nose!

# So if I give up
# Yes, I'm packin' up

# Movin' out of the town
# Movin' out of the town

# Packin' up
# Yes, I'm packin up

# I'm not chained
and I'm no longer bound

# So I'm packin' up... #

Dusty had left England
at the start of the 70s.

Her sales were dropping,

she had a horror of ending up
on the nostalgia circuit,

and she wanted to escape
the prying into her sexuality.

With her enduring love

of both the American pop scene
and Hollywood movies,

Dusty felt the time had come
to pursue her American dreams.

She got an American manager

who said he could do this,
he could do that.

But when she got there, they had no
idea what type of artist she was.

They thought she was a Peggy Lee
who sat down at the piano,

had a pianist
and sang in a nightclub.

That wasn't Dusty at all.
That wasn't her scene.

# She's a sweetheart,
except when she's moody

# It's hard to get through to her
then...#

She'd been so big in England

and it had been relatively easy,
I think she thought

that would happen in America.

She was inherently lazy,

and when it didn't
happen immediately,

she just went, "Shit! This isn't
so easy. "I'll find another way."

You think you have all the time
in the world and you really don't.

And suddenly it's too late for that.

# ...Cos she might take a drink
with the housework

# Or when Michael stayed late
at the shop

# A martini or two before dinner

# But she always knows
when to stop. #

What went wrong was a combination.

Yes, it was bad management.
It was also the drugs and the drink.

She was impossible. Nobody could
have helped her, made her do things.

Her decisions were wonky.
They just weren't right.

I'm hearing all these stories
coming back from different sources.

And I must own up, I did sometimes
feel guilty and think,

"I wish I had gone, because
I might have made a difference."

On the other hand, I might not have
and I'd have had to watch it.

I'd rather have not seen that period
of her life.

# ...She was doing the dishes

# When a glass fell
and broke on the tiles

# She cut her wrist,
quite by mistake

# It was real touch and go
for a while. #

A part of me was worried when
you'd pass newspaper stands and see,

"Pop Star..." and something tragic
had happened to them.

I always expected to see something
like that.

She was a self-destructive
type person as well. So...

In the hills above Los Angeles,

the Wildlife Waystation takes in
abused and neglected animals.

It became a place of sanctuary
for Dusty in her "Lost Years".

After her albums of the early 70s
met with indifference,

she mostly dropped out
of the music scene for several years

and turned her attention
to the women's tennis circuit
and Beverly Hills parties.

Increasingly depressed,

she attempted to replace
the highs of stardom

with alcohol, Mandrax and cocaine.

Eventually,
she attempted suicide several times.

Dusty met Helene Sellery in 1976,
at an alcoholics' support group.

Helene was on hand when Dusty
started recording again
in the late 70s,

And together, they were frequent
visitors to the Wildlife Waystation.

If I had to say where her heart
was in California, it would be here.

This was peace and quiet for her.

It was one-to-one rapport
with the animals.

Yes, she had her
cats and adored them,

but this was special,
she came to get renewed here.

She would sit in front of
the cat cages for hours, in silence.

She would try to mimic their sounds.

When I first knew her, she'd said,

"It gets lonely in the studios
and there's a lot of cocaine around.

"I'd like you to come to rehearsals."
I did for two-and-a-half albums.

She'd rehearse from 6pm till 4am.

Which is, in part,
why this issue is difficult.

She was used to night performances,
that's when her voice was ready.

I'd sit with earplugs
reading Scientific American!

After the years of virtual silence,

Dusty's latest albums proved that
although her voice was still alive,

her records were no longer selling.

Disillusioned, with America,

she stopped speaking of
her old self, Mary O'Brien,

as someone to erase, but rather
as the answer to her problems.

DUSTY: I've been singing all my life
since I left convent school.

I hadn't a chance to grow up,
I just became this monster

that I invented for myself to become.

# ...I was so frustrated,
wanted to tear my hair out

# Can't seem to get a grip
on your love. #

You get to Hollywood, and find
yourself playing mental games

by looking down your hill and
saying, "Well, it looks like Spain,"

because Spain is closer to England.

Did you ever really feel
you belonged there?

Did you ever emotionally accept
your life in Hollywood? Never.

I never came to terms with it.

I loved the last house I lived in

because it was five minutes
above Sunset Strip,

but I had coyotes and racoons
and it was utterly quiet.

I could look over the whole city.
That's an unbeatable feeling.

But outside of that, and that
breeds extreme laziness...in me.

I handle idleness badly. I had to
kick myself in the butt and get out.

My contribution was to
get her out of LA, into Amsterdam.

LA is a desert land. It's disastrous.

The sun shines every bloody day.

There's nothing to do, unless you're
rich and famous. She wasn't either.

# You always wanted a lover

# I only wanted a job... #

I didn't get involved
until The Pet Shop Boys.

The reason
I got involved was because

I just felt it was criminal
that nothing was happening.

She was trying to get herself
together, in terms of the drinking.

The record was brilliant,
and if I didn't do it, I felt,

"Nobody's gonna do it. It'll be one
record and she'll slip back again."

I think, by the 80s,
Dusty thought it was all over.

Then we did this record with her,
What Have I Done To Deserve This?

It was such a big hit,
it's quite remarkable to think now.

It was Number Two in America.
Number Two in Britain.

Number one in the US sales chart.

# What have I, what have I...

# Since you went away,
I've been hanging around

# I've been wondering why
I'm feeling down

# You went away,
it should make me feel better

# But I don't know, oh

# How I'm gonna get through

# How I'm gonna get through. #

So suddenly she realised it wasn't
all over. That she could be back.

And she really took that
very, very seriously.

Later, we said, "Do you want to do
this song from the film Scandal?"

It was set in 1963,
Dusty was around then,

yet she was around in the late 80s,

so it seemed very resonant
to get her to do it.

# It's a scandal
It's a scandal, such a scandal. #

She was very creative,
and a perfectionist.

So her way of recording
was to stand behind the microphone,

with a cigarette and a cup of coffee

and the lyric sheet
with lots of pencil marks on it,

and she would record word-by-word,
or syllable-by-syllable,

gradually changing it.
Very like someone doing a painting.

# Mandy's in the papers,
cos she tried to go to Spain

# She'll soon be in the dock,
then the papers once again

# Vicki's got her story
about the mirror and the cane

# It may be false... #

So in every verse and chorus,
the melody would be changed slightly.

Then, the last chorus
would go through the ceiling.

# ...they may be false

# They may be true

# But nothing has been proved. #

That's one with The Pet Shop Boys.

It's quite important because
it was them that brought her back,

bless their little hearts.

She'd be enormously grateful.

I didn't realise I had quite so many.

My favourite album. I loved that.

She did have beautiful eyes,
didn't she?

# Tell me where is a woman to go?

# When she's feelin' low

# And all she wants to do
is feel a little better... #

In 1994, soon after the completion

of the Nashville-recorded album,
A Very Fine Love,

Dusty was diagnosed
with breast cancer.

She'd only ever allowed her closest
friends to see her out of character,
without make-up.

She saw no reason now to challenge

the fans' image of
Dusty Springfield.

She retreated
to the Berkshire countryside,

away from the public gaze.

# ...All she wants to do is
# Is feel a little better

# Tell me where
# Where

# Pretty girl

# When she's feelin' low

# And all she wants to do
is feel a little better

# Do, da, do, da, do, da,
do, da, day

# Ahh! Do, da, do, da, do, da,
do, da, day

# Do, da, do, da, do, da,
do, dah, day. #

Dusty was a complete survivor.
She lived to be nearly 60.

Her life simply wasn't tragic.

When she died, she was on an up.
She'd sorted herself out financially.

She got the OBE from the Queen.

She got a beautiful house
because she knew she'd be ill

and she wanted lovely views
and friends nearby.

She wanted her cats around.

She was thrilled that the illness
took away the need to work.

She didn't have to feel guilty
about not working. That was gone.

# I think I'm goin' back

# To the things I learned so well

# In my youth

# I think I'm returning to

# Those days when I was young enough

# To know the truth

# Now there are no games

# To only pass the time... #

Dusty's funeral was
her last great performance.

She'd planned the horse and carriage

and stopped the traffic,
just as she had wanted to,

and received a standing ovation

as her coffin left the church
to the strains of Goin' Back.

# ..Growing older is no sin... #

It was an occasion that summed up
the contradiction and complexities

of being Dusty.

She was quoted as saying
she wanted to die as Mary O'Brien,

yet her funeral had
the flourishes of Dusty, the star.

# ...To reach out to a friend

# And now I think
I've got a lot... #

The Dusty I saw was different
with different people.

She could be charming and she could
be an absolute pain in the ass.

# ..Now there's more to do... #

Mary was a nice person.
Dusty had to be Dusty.

# ..And every day can be... #

Mary was the real Dusty
with Dusty bursting to get out!

# ..And I can play... #

It's easy to decide there
were two people - Mary and Dusty -

but they were the one person.

Dusty was most definitely Dusty
right to the end.

# ...I'm going back. #

I don't honestly think anybody

can truthfully say,
"I know Dusty Springfield."

Or, "I know Mary O'Brien."

She always kept part of herself
back from everybody.

I think that was her security.

Cos she knew she had a bit
that didn't belong to anyone else.

She always had that hint of mystery.

# You don't have to say you love me

# Just be close at hand

# You don't have to stay for ever

# I will understand

# Believe me, believe me

# You don't have to say you love me

# Just be close at hand

# You don't have to stay for ever

# I will understand

# Believe me
Ah! Believe me

# Believe me. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

MUSIC: "See All Her Faces"
by Dusty Springfield