All language subtitles for Starsky & Hutch S02e16 The Set-Up (1)_track3_[eng]

[]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[TYRES SCREECHING]

[EXPLODES]

[STEAM HISSING]

Mr. And Mrs. Irving Caplan.

They're $100 behind
to my father.

Make them sorry...

and then make them pay.

I guess you know
what's coming,
don't you, folks?

You should have thought
about that before you tried
holding out on "Dad" Watson.

Now, when we get through with you,
you're gonna feel real bad.

The same to you, moose-breath.
This is a bust.

Forget it, cop,
or I'll break the old lady's head.

Watch your hands, clown.
I ain't that kind of girl.

[]

HUTCH:
Starsk!

STARSKY:
Got him. Hutch!

Hang on there, meatball.
You ain't going nowhere.

THUG: You ain't taking me in on this...
STARSKY: Hutch!

Hold it. Okay.

Come on, now, buddy.
You're not taking me in

on this lousy rap!
Come on, will you?

Starsky, where are your cuffs?
They're in my bra.

HUTCH:
Wait. I got him.

Officer Hutchinson!
Remember me, Foxy Baker?

Hiya, Foxy.
Hiya, Foxy. How you doing?

Look, uh, we're a little busy right now.
STARSKY: Will you come on?

Please, Hutch, my husband, Walter T.,
he's been missing for three days,

and I'm going out of my mind
with worry. Please help me.

Foxy, we really don't deal
in domestic relations.

But you're supposed
to help people.

I came all the way downstairs
because I saw you out here.

Go see a guy by the name
of Huggy and the Turk.

Huggy and the Turk?

A couple of private investigators,

you can find them anytime after noon
down at a club called The Pits.

All right, thank you.
Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Will you relax?
Will you relax?

[]

[PIANO PLAYING]

You know, Huggy, my old grandpappy,
he used to always say...

that you can lead a horse
to water...

but a jackass
usually finds his own way.

How did a redneck clod-kicker
like you learn how to
throw darts that good?

My five.

Put it on my
charge account.

Hold it, sports fans.
You got a live one.

The lady's name is Foxy Baker,

and she says she was sent
by Starsky and Hutch.

Hey, I know Foxy Baker.

She says she's looking
for her missing husband.

Oh, good for her.
You tell her to write
"Dear Abby," okay?

Hey, partner,
we find Foxy Baker's old man,
she's gonna spread the word,

and we're gonna have more
business than we can handle.

This neighbourhood is
wall-to-wall missing husbands.

People around here, they
don't get marriage licences.
They get learners' permits.

And now for the good news.

She has $200, cash money.

TURK: Well, Mrs. Baker,
how do you do?

My name is J.D. Turquet,
and as I understand it...

You know my partner here,
Huggy Bear Brown.

Please, sit down.

Now, when did you first notice
that your husband was missing?

Since Tuesday.

He works as a delivery man
for a laundry service,

but he went out on his route
and didn't come back.

I brought his picture.

It's Walter T. Yeah.

He always did look
like a black Bugs Bunny.

I mean, he's got character
and, uh, good teeth.

Is he still betting heavy
on the horses?

That never bothered me.

Oh, I know Walter T. Is no beauty,
but I love him.

He doesn't drink
or fool around and...

Oh, please, please,
find him for me.

I miss him so bad.

About his gambling, um,
did he have a special bookie,

uh, friends at the track,
coworkers, anything like that?

Well, I asked everybody I could
think of, and they don't know a thing.

Just leave everything to us, Foxy.

We'll start looking
for Walter T. Right away.

If he's out there,
we'll find him.

Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

Bye.

Are you loco?

Why did you send her on her way
before we had anything to go on?

You know,
we have a handful of nothing.

We got blind Bessie.

Who?
Blind Bessie.

The woman who gets her racing tips
direct from the spirit world

and sells them
to fish like Walter T.

Well, if you know where to find her,
what are we doing sitting
around here? Come on.

There's just one slight problem.

Bessie's not too partial
to honkies.

[]

Turk. Turk!

Just like I thought.

She wants you
to come up too.

Hey, man, that doesn't make
any sense at all.

Now, you told me yourself
she hated honkies.

She don't know you white.

She just heard I had a partner,
so she set three plates for dinner
and she wants you to come up.

So all you got to do is just like I said.
Uh-uh.

Just skip it.
What do you mean, "skip it"?

I can't do it.
Of course you can.

I can't.
Okay.

I'll give back the $200 retainer
to Foxy Baker,

and you can explain
to the phone company

why the cheque we sent them's
gonna bounce all the way home.

Look... Now, Huggy, look,
that's not fair.

In the first place,
soul food turns me off.

In the second place, well,
you know, I can't sound black

any more than you can sound
like, uh, Laurence Olivier.

IN BRITISH ACCENT:
The prime minister was mugged
by a Negro in Chicago,

and the Queen went bananas.

IN NORMAL VOICE: Go on.
Just say something coloured.

Give it a try.

IN URBAN ACCENT: When does
the new Cadillacs come in?

Just say it blacker.

Oh, tell me, uh, when do
the new Cadillac come in?

Blacker.

Tell me, when do
the new Cadillac come in,
or I'm gonna cut you, sucker.

I think you got it.
IN NORMAL VOICE: Ain't gonna work.

HUGGY: Of course it's gonna work.
TURK: I'm telling you, it ain't working.

[]

HUGGY: Be cool, man.
TURK: No, I don't think I can do it.

Let me try. Tell me...
Say it again.

HUGG Y: When do your new Cadillacs
come in? You all right, blood?

TURK:
I hear you. Uh...

IN URBAN ACCENT: When do
the new Cadillacs come in?

Come on in.
Stop pussyfooting out there.
Food's about ready.

Let's not keep
Lady Bessie waiting, blood.
How's the pots coming, Bessie?

Just got to put in the hot sauce,
then we eat.

Here. Here, I got it.

Don't help me.

Don't help me!
Don't help me.
I can find anything I want.

Only thing I can't find out
is about your partner,

until he open his mouth.

You heard me, chump.
I want to know who and what you are.

So say something.

Uh, when do the new Cadillacs
come in?

That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard.

Huggy, I believe your friend is simple.

Well, sit down. Sit! Sit!
No, not there!

In the dining room.
Might as well feed your bellies.

Mm-mm! This is
gonna be good.

IN NORMAL VOICE:
I am not eating that slop.

Aw, look, it won't hurt you.
Look what it did for me.

I hate to have a tasty meal
mixed up with business talk. Mm-hm.

So lay the word on me now.
What you want from old Bess?

Well, Bess, we thought you'd...

Don't you tell me.
I want to hear it from your friend.

Start talking, Leroy.

IN URBAN ACCENT: Uh, Foxy Baker
hired us to, uh, locate her husband,

and we thought maybe that, uh,
you might be able to give us a lead.

Yeah, I know Foxy's
old man real well.

Spirits helped me to give him
lots of winners at the track,

but it wasn't horses he came
looking for three days ago.

You like soul food,
don't you, boy?

Oh, lawsy, yes, ma'am!

I just loves my chitlins
and hushpuppies.

Down home, he's known
as the "Pharaoh of Fatback."

Hmm! Ain't that a kick in the head.

Mm-hm.
Ah!

Don't help me. Don't help me.

Uh, Bessie,
what did Foxy's husband ask you?

Lord, thank you for this
simple fare before us,

and thank you
for thy numerous blessings,

some of which we already have

and some which
we expect to receive any minute.

[]

Walter T. Baker wanted
a phoney passport to Brazil,

so I sent him
to see Doc Rafferty.

Want more, talk to the Doc.

Passport to Brazil?
Well, you heard the lady.

Let's, uh...
Let's go talk to the Doc.

Uh, Bessie, we ain't gonna
be able to stay for dinner.
Thank you.

Hey, wait a minute.

You mean to tell me
you're leaving before I get a chance

to spill boiling coffee
over your ofay turkey?

IN NORMAL VOICE:
You knew I wasn't black all along?

I can hear a gnat
spitting on cotton,

and you think I don't know
a good old boy from a soul brother?

I heard you practising
all the way to my door.

"When does the new
Cadillac come in?"

[CLATTERING]

Don't help me. Don't help me.

Besides, if I didn't like you,

it would have been more than
your hand I hit with that hot stew.

Bye, Bessie.

Oh, "When does the new
Cadillacs come in?"

[LAUGHS WILDLY]

"When does
the new Cadillacs come in?"

[BESSIE LAUGHING]

TURK:
Excuse me.

[]

Hold it, brother.
This is the end of the line.

HUGG Y: Hey, come on!
TURK: Hey!

[]

Okay. This can go easy or hard.
Now, who you working for?

Oh, that's privileged
information between...

We're employed
by Mrs. Foxy Baker,

321 Chandler Ave.
Telephone number, 321-1321.

You want the zip code,
I'll be glad to look it up for you, okay?

What'd she hire you for?

Hey, I like using this thing.

Her husband's missing,
she hired us to find him.

We're looking for Walter T. Baker too,
and when we find him,

we don't want you or your skinny
partner there getting in our way.

Comprende?
Yeah, comprende.

[]

Hey, you okay, man?
You okay?

Yeah. I'm okay. I'm okay.
Come on, let's hit the road.

He called me skinny.

I should have busted him
in his chops.

Huggy, for those two,
you need a big club or a gun.

Oh, you gotta be kidding.
I'm a lean, mean fighting machine.

[TYRES SCREECHING]

[]

We're drawing hoods like flies.
Dig it.

[TYRES SCREECH]

MAN:
We want to talk to you.

[]

You get a feeling there's something
about Walter T.'s disappearance

that your friend Foxy
didn't tell us?

My friend?
You're the one who got
glued onto her $200.

Come on, hit it.
They're gaining on us.

Man, I got the thing
on the floor.

Didn't you take this thing
to the shop last week?

Yeah, I took it to the shop,
but it's still burning
a pinch of oil.

[HONKING]

[TYRES SCREECHING]

MAN:
Okay, clowns, let's go.

Nice going.
All they got to do now is bury us.

[]

This way.

Give the man the card.

"Brown and Turkey"?

Uh, that's Turquet, and it's me,
and this is Brown.

If that's how you like it.
Turquet.

All right. I'm sure Brown here
can tell you who I am.

I'm rather well-known
in the neighbourhood.

That's bad Dad Watson.

Him and his hoods
have been top dogs
around this neighbourhood

since anybody can remember.

And I mean to keep it that way.

That's why I wanted to speak to you
about that... That Walter T...

[COUGHS]

Baker.

Well, now, if that's all
that's troubling you, look,

there's no need to fret anymore,
because we already got that message

from your good old boys,
Sugar and Milo.

Milo and Sugar don't work for me,
you stupid, simple-minded cracker.

They're the ones
who robbed me three days ago.

Them and that cockamamie
black laundryman, Walter T...

[COUGHING]

Take it easy. Take it easy.
You know you're not
supposed to get excited.

See, nobody ever
paid attention

to Walter T. Bringing in
clean tablecloths every day,

but it wasn't clean tablecloths
he had in his hamper three days ago.

You mean Walter T. Wheeled
in good old Milo and Sugar?

Right under our very noses,
and with some very heavy hardware.

And when they left,
they left with $300,000.

[COUGHS]

Well, we're gonna get
every cent of it back

and make examples of the thieves
and anyone who is helping them.

Very messy examples.

Well, that is the kind
of gumption and determination
that made America great.

You know, my old grandpappy,
he used to always...

Brown, you're black.
Mm-hm.

And that means you might have
better luck finding out where that...

That Walter T. Is holed up
in the neighbourhood.

[COUGHING]

Well... Well, we'd like to
be obliging, Dad, but, uh...

Milo and Sugar said if we stayed
on the case that it was gonna be...

You see, Dad wasn't asking.
Dad never asks.

We don't particularly care
what Milo and Sugar told you.

You're to look for Walter T.,
and you're to find him.

And when you find him, you call us
and not his wife. Right, Pop?

Cross me and you'll wish
you'd never been born.

And that, you'd better understand.

Your old grandpappy
have a saying about that?

[]

TURK: Man, my old maiden aunt would
have something to say about this.

HUGGY:
What would she say?

TURK: When people start talking
about busting heads, baby, adios.

Hey, Turk, do you think we should
head for the mountains or the beach?

What do you care? Wherever we go,
your wardrobe is wrong.

Huh.

Hi, Cousin Huggy.

Hey, Mr. Turk, I got what you wanted.
Here it is right here.

Here what is?

The heater Mr. Turk
told me to get.

He said get the biggest one
I could find, so here it is.

I meant a heater, as in "gun."

Whew. We are gonna do
real great in a shootout.

Bad guys,
they pull their.44 Magnum,

we let them have it
with our water heater.

I don't know why I let you
talk me out of not carrying
a gun in the first place.

Because when you carry a gun,
only one thing can happen,
and it's all bad.

Okay, uh...

So, I'm...

I'm sorry I let you down.

Hey. Hey, Leotis?

Hey, man. Come on.
Wait a minute.

Put that thing down.
Now, come on here.
Come on back in here.

Come on. You see, that isn't
really what I meant, you see?

Uh, you see,
your mind is just, uh...

It's grooving on a different plane,
that's all.

Now, you see, the point
that I'm trying to make
is that everybody

has got something
that they're good at.

Now, look at you and numbers.

Yeah, but that's nothing.

Hey, come on, tell Huggy
how much is 721 times, uh...

9,261.

6,677, 181.

Whoo!
266 times 13,424.

3,570,784.

Huggy, what's that
got to do with detecting?

Nothing, but you see,
that's just the point.

You see, you are a genius
when it comes to numbers,

but I wish you'd do me a favour
the next time you take your classes.

See if they have one
in criminology?

Mm-mm. You see if they got one
in basic logic.

[DOOR OPENS]

I know. You have a right
to be upset with me.

We also have a right
to say goodbye. Bye.

I know I should have told you about
Walter T.'s involvement in a robbery,

but I was afraid if I did,
you wouldn't want to take the case.

That's the first true thing
I've heard out your lips, woman.
But, please, stay out of our way.

Oh, please, give me
one more minute.

I wanted you to find
my husband before his enemies did

so that I could beg him to take back
the money and save himself,

but that's not necessary anymore.

I know where Walter T. Is hiding.

He phoned me. He doesn't want
to spend the rest of his life running.
He wants to negotiate.

So did Jimmy Hoffa.

Wait. All you have to do is get
the $300,000 from Walter T.

And take it to Dad Watson
in exchange for my husband's life.
You won't be in any danger.

That's right,
because we're gonna be out of town.

All I have is $250 more.
Keep it.

The word on the street is
that Sonny Watson's ready
to pay a 10 percent finder's fee

for the return
of his father's bank.

Ten percent. That's $30,000.
I don't need Leotis
to tell me that, huh?

That's right.

I mean, that's the kind of big money
we got into this business for.

I got a feeling I'm gonna regret this,
but, uh, we'll do it.

Oh. Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.

Walter T. Is waiting for you out at
the old Bayshore Amusement Park.

He's hiding in the fun house.
Hey, Cousin Huggy,

there are two mean-Iooking
dudes out here, and they're
spying on the building.

FOXY:
Oh, no.

[]

TURK: I don't want to get
you guys riled up, but I'd say
we're in a heap of trouble here.

Now, how are we gonna
drive out of here with those
two punks watching the car?

With $30,000 on the line,
we'll find a way.

How about a diversion?
Look, Leotis, listen carefully.

I want you go down
to the bus stop on the corner.

Foxy, I want you to stay here
until we're gone, okay?

[]

You, uh, sure Leotis
knows what he's doing?

I told Leotis when we move,
he's gotta attract their attention.

Yeah.

[WHISTLES]

That's the signal.
Leotis is ready.

Yeah, he's ready
for what?

Just pull out real slow,
make a right turn, then hit it.

Look, those punks are
gonna be right on our tail.

Well, you gotta have faith,
Turk, baby.

We got them now,
baby. Come on.

Okay, brother,
go get them.

Whoo!

[LAUGHING]

Crude but effective. Yeah!

They're up to their hubcaps
in dresses.

[ENGINES REVS]

[]

HUGGY:
Walter T.?

I wish Leotis had gotten a gun.

TURK: Well, knowing him, he probably
would've forgotten the bullets.

Walter T.! Walter...

[CREAKING]

Dummy.

Walter T.!

Hey, Walter T.! Hey.

Hey!
Hey, Walter T. Foxy sent us!

[GUNSHOTS]

Walter T., it's Huggy Bear
and Turk Turquet!

I got you, Walter T.
It's me, Foxy.

[LAUGHING]

How'd we do?
Did we fool them?

All the way.

They'll probably die
convincing Milo and Sugar.

Now, all we have to do is make sure
that your dad still thinks

Walter T. Still has the money...
Uh-huh.

And is on the loose,
and we're home free.

I hope so.

[]

TURK: Walter T. Ran on us.
I don't know where we are.

HUGGY:
I don't either.

Hey, but I recognise him.
This must be the way out.

TURK:
Okay.

You know, for a man
dying to see us,

Walter T. Certainly took off like
a scared jackrabbit. I wonder why.

I don't know,
but I'm getting out of here.

Hey, maybe he don't like
interracial couples.

Hey, thanks for coming outside, boys.
Milo here's afraid of the dark.

I thought we left you up to
your hubcaps in dresses.

Oh, we phoned your office
and said we was the FBI.

See, the kid we talked to there,
he could hardly wait to tell us
where to find you.

MILO:
Come on, move it!

[]

TURK:
I don't know about you,

but I got a feeling
these guys aren't here
on a mission of mercy.

Yeah, that Sugar
is definitely unrefined.

You had your fill?
Up to my eyeballs.

All right, hold it right there.
End of the line, hotshots.

Watermelon man,
you got me into this.

Now I'm gonna die because
you couldn't pass up
a lousy 200 bucks!

Back off, turkey man!

How'd you like
a little black lightning
across your lips, huh?

Listen, I am sick
of you, boy!

[]

Uh-uh. Let them go.
Let's see the skinny one
get hurt a little here.

Come on.
Come on, you Chicken Little.

Come on.
Come on. Come on.

[]

[WHISTLES]

[GROWLS]

Okay, now it's our turn,
and we want some answers, friend.

Okay, I'm gonna
make it real simple.

Now, how did Walter T.
Get away with your share
of Dad Watson's payroll?

Stuff it.

[TUTS]

You get the feeling these guys
aren't gonna cooperate?

Mm-hm.

Now, either one of you
wanna say anything? Nothing?

Okay, kill them and
let's get out of here.

Now, wait, wait. Dad'll probably pay
a pretty penny for them.

No, Dad said dead or alive.
Now, we kill them, we collect twice.

The money Dad's promised, plus
the reputation we get on the street.

Go ahead, shoot them.

Wait a minute.
You made your point.

After the heist, we went back
to Walter's hamper,

and he pushed us
out to his truck,

past Dad Watson's guards.

Like nothing happened,
he drove away.

Hey, don't tell me
a couple of old hands like you

let him lock you in a hamper
with dirty wash.

He was low man in the operation,
a real nothing.

Now, who was the brains
behind it, then?

Who else? His old lady, Foxy.

Foxy Baker?
You better believe it, brother.

Are you beginning to get the feeling
that woman's been lying to us again?

I don't know,
but I'll tell you one thing.

It's about time we started
getting some straight answers.

I think we better call
Starsky and Hutch

and tell them where they can
pick up a couple of hunks
of garbage, gift-wrapped.

That's a good idea.

[]

[MOTOR HUMMING]

I think these are
probably hot anyway.

Let's get rid of them.
Oh, boy.

I got real fond of her.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, I got that kind of phobia
about these high things! Hey! Help!

[J AZZ MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO]

HUTCH: We're getting there,
sweetheart. We're getting there.

A few more minutes and you'll
look just like she does.

Do you really think so?
How can you miss?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Yeah.

Uh...

One minute.

Tyrone, phone.

Excuse me, darling.
I have to confer with my
associate here, Mr. Marlene.

Must be a customer calling
about some kind of a follicle
problem or something.

Tyrone? Phone.

Just hold the thought, huh?
You look ravishing.

What is it?
Answer the phone.

Who is it?
Huggy and Turk.

They collared a couple of punks.

They collared a couple of punks,
and they want us to bring them in.

I don't want to talk to them.
Why should I talk to them?

Because I got a couple of gorgeous
chicks coming in for a comb job,

and I have this fantastic stewardess,
whose house I'm going over to
to give her a wave and set.

What do you want me
to do about it?

Answer the phone.
Please? Go ahead.

Yeah, Turk? Huggy?
No, it's Turk.

Listen, uh, can you guys
get over here right away?

Uh, look, we'd love
to help you fellas out,

but we're really
kind of busy right now.

Listen, uh, has it got anything
to do with Dad Watson
and his protection racket?

Yeah, it has to do with
the protection racket.

Wait a second. How'd they know that?
Huh?

About the protection racket.
Shh!

Look, will you just call in
a patrol car or something?

We're really kind of
busy right now,
and stay off this line.

Yeah, well, you see,
this involves Dad Watson too.

[DIAL TONE HUMMING]

Yeah. Hutch?

You know, your eyes flash
when you get angry.

I hope you get peroxide
all over your turquoise.

Boy.

About your friends Starsky and Hutch,
a lot of help those two were.

Never mind them.

What we gotta do now
is pick up Walter T.'s trail.

Brilliant.
The question is, where?

Not where,
Turkey, my man. How?

What do you mean, "how"?

How's that wisdom tooth
that's been giving you that trouble?

Oh. Yeah.
Doc Rafferty.

Dr. Rafferty will see you now,
Mr. Turquet.

By the way, is your name French?
I certainly hope so.

Walk this way, please.

I think that I'm in love.

Careful. That body ought to be
registered as a dangerous weapon.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.
That'll be all, Nurse O'Toole.

Yes, doctor.
Au revoir, Froggy.

Now, then,
who wants to be first?

Just open up wide
and don't worry about a thing.

Believe me, I won't put the bite
on you. Get it, "bite"?

[LAUGHING]

Actually, we came
to talk to you
about Walter T. Baker.

Baker? Baker...
I don't believe I know the name.

Sir, we want to know
about the forged passport
he ordered from you.

Passport? Gentlemen,
you've come to the wrong place.

How would you like me
to play "Nola"
on your molar, Doc?

Are you guys the heat?
Private.

But we can, uh, make it public,
if that's the way you want it.

Now, what about the passport
for Walter T.?

What passport?
What are you guys talking about?

He said,
"What about the passport?"

Did you fix one
for his wife too? Huh?

Are you kidding me? Walter T. Was
scared to death of his wife.

He told me he wanted
one passport to Brazil,

and he didn't want
nobody to know about it,
especially his old lady.

Then something must have happened,
because he never picked it up.

I swear to you, I mean it.
It's over there in the top cabinet.

Check it out, Huggy.

You see?

He's got every country here.
Busy, aren't you?

Brazil.

[]

You ought to stick
to teeth, Doc.

Nurse?

[GRUNTS]

It's weird.

Man who hates his wife
gets away with...

300,000.

Three days
after the robbery,

he's still in town,

and his wife is supposed
to be helping him

to give the money back...

to save his life.
No, it don't figure.

A man who needs to run
as bad as Walter T.,

the only way to stop him
is tie him up or bury him.

Well, now, we know he's alive.
We saw him at the amusement park.

Or did we?
What are you talking about?

[CLANKING]

Hey, we don't need any steam.
Send them back for Christmas.

Did you really get a good look
at Walter T. Today?

No, but, uh...
Now, wait a minute.

Maybe it's beginning
to make sense.

Now, what happens
if Walter T. Is caught?

Not the money,
just him.

What do you mean,
without the money?

Now, just for instance...

Dad would, uh, probably
interrogate him to death.

[CLANKING]

Will you knock it off?

That's not the steam.

[]

Well, where's
Walter T. Now?

Oh, he's probably
out on some highway,
fleeing for his life.

Bugs Bunny.

MUFFLED: I'm Walter T. Baker,
and we gonna die! Die! Die!

[]

Yes.

Yes, I know this is
a beauty parlour.

Well, you have
to listen to me, ma'am.

Uh, sorry, sir.

Uh, you see, it's urgent that
we speak to two of your operators.

Mr. Marlene and Tyrone.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Starsky and Hutch.

Well, look, when they come in,
would you tell them that Huggy
and Turquet need them

and it's urgent?

Look, you better
make that critical. Okay.

Now, Walter T., we been here all
night long and getting nowhere,

and you been hitting that stuff
and going into a steady coma.

Now, just give us some answers.
We gonna die. We gonna die! Die! Die!

Stop grave-digging and start talking.

My wife...

My wife made me rob Dad Watson.

Now, I know that's a shameful thing
to admit, but I was more scared
of her than him.

Look, we're with you
so far. Go on.

Well, then, Foxy worked out
how I could cheat Milo and Sugar
out of their share.

I was supposed to meet her
with the dough, but I had other plans.

You mean
the passport to Brazil?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Only Foxy was waiting for me
before I could make my move.

She whomped me upside the head.
Next thing I know, I'm hogtied,

and Foxy is putting
on my clothes.

Hey, blood,
how about little drinky, huh?

So, it must have been Foxy
we saw at the fun house,

and she wanted us to think
that Walter T. Was still in town
and running scared.

Why'd she bring you here?
So we all could die, die, die, die!

I keep telling you that.

It wasn't just Foxy.
Sonny Watson is in it with her.

Well, that low-down,
no-account skunk.

What a way to treat
his own daddy.

They were gonna
watch this place,

and when you came back,
call Sonny.

And he's gonna bust in
and shoot us all at once

and then tell Dad we was all in
the robbery together and were
trying to make our getaway

when he caught us.

[]

Huggy.
What?

TURK: Look.
HUGGY: What is it?

Sonny Watson and Dad's hoods.
Hey, what are we gonna do?

We gonna die,
that's what we gonna do.

Look, give me that bottle,
you beaver-toothed rummy.

Now, we got to make tracks
out of here.

L... I can't walk.
My legs is stiff.

Come on.
Look, I'll get him.

You get that side. Come on.
Up you go. Come on.

Where we going?
Out.

Come on.
You can walk it off.

Leotis.
Hey, Cousin Huggy.

Where's everybody going?
I saw that you were up,
and I thought maybe

you'd like to have
a pizza for breakfast.

No, we ain't got time for pizza.
Did you see anybody downstairs
with guns?

With guns? No.
I took a shortcut,
like always.

What shortcut?
Over the roof next door.

Everybody, hold what you got.
This might be just what we needed.

[]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

They're coming up the stairway.
Can you give us another diversion?

Yeah. What you want me to do?
Get the heater.

Get the heater?
Get the heater!

They've got a heater.

Okay.

Drop it?
Drop it.

[]

I keep on saying,
we gonna die, man!

Shh, shh.
Come on.

Are you all right?

They had a heater.

Go get them.

Go get them. Go on!

WALTER: I can't stand it, man!
We all gonna die!
What y'all gonna do, man?

Wait. Where are we going, man?

[WALTER MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

TURK: That ain't gonna
hold them long. Leotis,
where's your shortcut?

LEOTIS:
Oh, there it is, right there.

WALTER:
Wait. Where are we going, man?

I keep telling you, man.

We gonna die, man!
I keep telling you!

What's wrong with you, Leotis?
You think we're a bunch
of hummingbirds or something?

Cousin Huggy, look, it's safe.
All the kids around here
use this all the time. Come on.

It's... It's not so bad.
Come on, Huggy.

You going up there.
I ain't going up there.

Come on.

WALTER: Wait a minute!
Please! Whoa! Whoa!

I can't do this.
I can't do this, man.

I get dizzy when I
put on platform shoes.

[GUNSHOT]

HUGGY:
Some shortcut, Leotis.

Come on, you guys.
It's only one more.

[SIREN WAILING]

What the hell are they
doing up there?

I don't know. They said it was critical.
I think it just got a lot worse.

I'll go the front.
Right.

[]

Surprise.

I told you we gonna die.
Well, life stinks, doesn't it?

[GUNSHOTS]

Come on out
and get it
over with!

What are you doing?
Get them! They don't have guns!

Yes, we have too, Mr. Turk.

TURK:
Oh, Leotis.

See?
Pass it down, Leotis.

I knew I made a mistake
about that heater,
so I went out and got that.

You call them off, boy,
or you bought it!

He can shoot the warts
off a kosher pickle at 50 yards.

You don't believe him?
Watch.

Hold it, hold it.

That boy is smart as a whip.

Now, where I come from,

what we have here
is called a Mexican...

[CLICKS]

Stand-off.
So much for the Alamo.

Get them.
The gun is empty. Go get them.

[GUNSHOT]

Tennis, anyone?

Anybody else? Hold it.

Drop it.

Okay, come on,
move!

STARSKY: Okay, okay. Up, up, up.
Give me your hands.

Hey, thanks for dropping in, men,

but me and my partner almost had
this case wrapped up, unassisted.

[]

Lovely to hear that, Hug.
Daddy's gonna kill me.

[]

Yeah.

Here, just sign right there,
and we'll take your formal
statement later, okay?

Okay, thank you.

We got lucky.
HUTCH: What?

They got Foxy at the airport,
and all the money.

You know, I gotta hand it to you guys.
You did a pretty good job.

Well, what do you expect
with you two as our ideals?

What are you guys gonna do now?
You got enough to keep you busy?

Busy? You got to be
shucking me. This is
just small potatoes here.

Most of the time,
we'll be up to our ears

in industrial espionage
and diamond heists.

[COUGHS]

Excuse me, I'd like to see
Detective Smithers.

Smithers?
Yes, it's about my 1854 Golden Eagle.

Did it get out?
It's a $20 gold piece worth $3,000.

I think someone must have
taken it from the party we
were giving the other day.

Oh, uh, Detective S...
Uh, Withers.

Well, that is
in Robbery Division.

Now, what you want to do
is you want to go
through those doors,

and there's this red line
along the corridor,

and you want to get
to three doors,

and you want to take
the third door on your left.

Thank you very much.

Look, I think we better
be moseying out of here.

Where you going?
I thought we were gonna have
a congratulatory cup of coffee.

TURK: Later. We'll see you.
Well, what's the hurry?

Can't you smell it?
Next month's rent.
Sir, uh, excuse me,

but we couldn't help
but overhear your tragic story

about the loss
of your Double Eagle.

Look, what you have
to understand, sir,

that to the police,
your coin is just
another case,

but to us,
it's a sacred trust.
Our card.

[]

Uh, which one of you
is Turkey?

[]

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