All language subtitles for 2-14 New Girl in Town

¶ Someone once told me
the grass is much greener ¶

¶ On the other side. ¶

¶ Well, I paid a visit ¶

¶ While it's possible
I missed it ¶

¶ It seemed different
yet exactly the same ¶

¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶

¶ Till further notice ¶

¶ Till further notice ¶

¶ I'm in between ¶

¶ I'm in between ¶

¶ From where I'm standing ¶

¶ From where I'm standing ¶

¶ My grass is green. ¶

¶ Someone once told me
the grass is much greener ¶

¶ On the other side. ¶

Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

Oh! "Kick me?"

I didn't even feel it.

You never do.

( gasps )

( guffawing )

It's not funny, Mitchell.

Could have slipped a disk,
you know.

Why do we always
seem to be

the butt of
practical jokes?

Well, it's because

the dominant social group
sees us as indifferent,

and therefore a threat
to the stability
of their status.

You've been reading
up on this, haven't you?

( scoffs )

Ever since I found
my locker filled

with prune custard
and analgesic balm.

PRINCIPAL MILTY:
Sorry to interrupt
math class,

but I'd like to introduce
a new student.

This is Laetitia Bowers.

I'm sure you'll all make
her feel right at home.

( student coughs )

Now, my job here is done.

Being principal is such cake.

Nice to have you
aboard, Laetitia,

and I hope you like
the isosceles triangle.

Three lines
looking for trouble.

Hmm, looks like
there's an alien

bursting out
of the tangelo.

Which is why I am calling it,
"Alien Bursting out of Tangelo."

The idea was
to paint a still life,
not a disturbed one.

And this is
supposed to be...

An ashtray.

But no one
in your family smokes.

Oh, I'm going for
the ironic statement.

( groans in exasperation )

Don't sweat it, Hoods.

The Impressionists
were ridiculed at first,

but then
they cleaned up.

Big time, from what I hear.

BRANDON:
Hello, boys.

Nice alien bursting out
of a tangelo, Carl.

Anyway, I want to give
you two some invitations.

To... what?

My birthday party.

Sorry, Brando, can't
take them right now--

dirty hands,
might smudge.

Same here.

Maybe you should
try back later.

Well, okay, if you think
that'd be for the best.

Dodged that
incoming.

Yah-hah.

Her father's a mortician,
and there's no mother in sight.

What's that about?

You think he had something to do

with her disappearance?

That's what I'm thinking.

Who's your source in this?

My mother's cousin

is the school
secretary's podiatrist.

And podiatrists have
the best dirt.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway,

they live up above
the mortuary/funeral home.

Do you think it
was a real skull?

Of course!

And she had it
at lunch.

And you notice
how she doesn't talk?

Well, maybe
it's because

she can't get a word
in edgewise.

I mean, she's new.

Why should she say anything?

And has anybody even bothered
to talk to her?

Because you're making
a whole lot of mean comments

based on, well...

The loose lips of
some foot fancier.

Yeah, that.

Well, I guess
you'll be the first

to talk to her,
Ginger,

and you can
fill us all in.

Maybe I will.

( bell rings )

Oh!

Sorry about that.

Didn't want to be late
for my next class.

At least you've got
an excuse,

being new
and everything.

By the way, I'm Ginger.

Laetitia.

Well, guess
I better go.

Uh, nice meeting you.

Yeah, you...
you, too.

Oh, hey, um, you
want to hang out

at my place
after school?

I mean, my friends
and I can fill you in

on everything that's
going on at good
old Lucky Junior.

Sure.

My dad's picking me up,

but if you want, he can
drop us off at your house.

He just has a quick
errand to run first.

Sounds great.

Meet you out front
after school.

Oh, great,
now I'm late.

Ha! See you later.

Okay, no sign
of Brandon.

Remember, Hoods,
move fast

and keep low
to the ground.

Right.

( yelling )

Sorry, dropped my lemon balls.

Well, since you're here,
saved your invites.

And don't forget
a timely RSVP.

Wow, talk about
your neat handwriting.

And your waste
of 30-pound
cotton bond

because I say
we dump them.

I don't know, Carl.

You're not going to say
you feel bad, are you,

and that we have to go?

No, I'm not going to say I feel
bad and that we have to go...

Except...

we have to go.

Why?

Because if we do,

and, you know,
we bring a gift,

then he owes us presents
on our birthdays,

and Brandon's cash-rich.

We could ask for
something expensive.

I like your thinking,
Hoods, I like it a lot.

An addition to
the doghouse, perhaps.

Oh, sure, the doghouse.

It's always about what you want.

And she was
really nice,

so, anyway, I asked her
to hang out with us

at my house.

Her dad's even going
to give us a ride.

MIRANDA:
Is that so?

Well, Ginger, I'm impressed.

I guess all that gossip
didn't get to you.

I'm pretty hard to rattle.

Well, maybe you'll
change your mind

about getting
a ride from her

when you hear
the Bowers
had to move.

Turns out
there was
quite a scandal.

Mr. Bowers embalmed someone
who wasn't dead yet!

( gasps )

Mrs. Bowers... I knew it.

Oh, I just...

Not Mrs. Bowers.

It turns out
they're divorced.

Ginger...

think you'll
be rattled by that?

I, um, forgot
something
in my locker.

( door creaks )

Well, they
finally left.

I can't believe
I bailed on Laetitia.

Ginger, don't be
so hard on yourself.

I mean, she commutes
in a hearse,

she carries a skull.

Well, her father
is a mortician,

and if anyone's
supposed to understand

what it's like to
be different, it's me,

and was I understanding?

Not one whit.

Ginger, you should not--

I repeat, not-- feel
about what happened.

It was brave of you

to make the initial
offer of friendship,

but really, a hearse?

Avec coffin?

There's making an entrance,

and then there's
making an entrance.

And that was
definitely not
making an entrance.

It's like we're all lining up
against her, including me.

But Ginger,
you didn't
do anything.

Exactly.

Where is this

mortuary/
funeral home?

Fifth and Harbor.

Then Fifth
and Harbor it is.

Ginger,
wait.

Wait up, Ginger.

Why don't we get him
some hair gel?

We could whip some up
at home.

I've got some
siphoned-off
bacon grease

cooling in a coffee can.

I don't think Brandon
uses hair gel.

And anyway, I'm opposed
to the bodily use
of pork products.

( sighs )

It would be easier

finding something
for Mr. Licorice.

At least that monkey's
got attitude,

a point of view, moxie.

In fact, Brandon
could tear a page out

of the Mr. Licorice
playbook.

Think he has one?

And this is
the eternal journey model.

Um, Laetitia?

These coffins are
great and everything,

but the real reason
I came by was

to say I'm sorry
for ditching out on you.

It's just that when I saw
the hearse pull up, I...

My fault; I should have
warned you

about that errand
Dad had to run.

Does everyone at school
think I'm strange?

To be honest,

the skull in math
class had everyone...
confused.

( laugh nervously )

They thought it was real.

It wasn't, was it?

( laughing ):
No!

Plastic, from a novelty store.

My mom once told me

if you bring an interesting
object to a situation

where you don't know anyone,
it makes it easier

for people to strike up
conversations with you.

See, I figured I'd get people
asking about the skull,

then segue into my dad
being a mortician.

My sense of humor, I guess.

And it's funny.

( laughs feebly )

Now that we
understand it.

I don't think anyone
understood it

at my last school, either.

So, um, where is your dad?

Downstairs working
on Mr. Wiznitsky.

Are you sure
he's dead?

Sorry.

Laetitia?

Now I should explain.

See, there's this story
going around.

Um, your dad
didn't once, um...

you know, kind of...

embalm someone while they
were still alive, did he?

And then you got
run out of town

by an angry mob
and had to move here?

( laughs )

Yuck. No.

We moved here

because my dad
got a great deal
on the property.

It used to be
a youth hostel.

( whistling )

Hiya, Muggy Doodle.

Hey, Dad, this is Ginger,
Dodie and Macy,

new friends
from school.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hi!
Cool house.

Hello,
Mr. Bowers.

It's nice to meet you, ladies.

You know, I think
there just might be

some homemade jelly bean and
puffed rice bars in the kitchen.

Sir, you wouldn't kid about a
thing like that, would you?

Never. Mortician's honor.

Wow, he's
really nice.

With a droll wit.

And he didn't smell
like embalming fluid at all.

Not that I thought he would.

Hey, maybe you should
throw a party.

You know, let people get to know
you and your world.

I mean, coming here
sure helped me.

Socializing outside school,
a far more relaxed atmosphere.

Excellent suggestion, Ginger.

Wow, you get me
enough to do that?

I think I finally
fit in somewhere.

But what if nobody comes?

What if they're too freaked out?

Well, I'll talk to them.

I'm kind of tight with some
of the in crowd

and once the in crowd's in,
so is everyone else, right?

( all laughing )

You think Mr. Licorice
will like wintergreen?

Who wouldn't?

They spark
when you chew them.

Trust me, he'll spend
many a happy hour

keeping old Brandon awake.

GINGER:
Can you believe
how cool she is with it?

Why wouldn't she be?

Her dad's been
a mortician her whole life.

And she's always
lived above mortuaries.

GINGER:
And now, a party
at her place

on Saturday.

DODIE:
Okay, let's start

putting together
the set list.

I'm thinking we start
with hip-hop,

move to
contemporary pop

and then finish
with something soulful.

Right, bring them up high,
then ease them on down.

Hoods...

did... they... say...?

They said it, Carl!

Party at a mortician's!

On Saturday.

That's the same day
as Brandon's.

You know,
we should

take a moment
to think about...

I'm all for bailing
on Brandon.

Me, too.

GINGER:
It's going fun,

so wear your
dancing shoes.

You make it sound
like we're going.

Aren't you?

Do you think

we'd be caught dead
in a morgue?

( laughs )

Miranda, you just made a joke.

It isn't a morgue,
it's a mortuary/funeral home.

And it's
really nice.

I think you should know:

No one's going to this party.

But I told Laetitia
I kind of had an in
with the in-crowd.

If no one goes,
I'll look really um...

Stupid?

Foolish?

Like a wannabe?

What I'm saying is,

people will go
if you do, Courtney.

I mean, she's
really excited

because I promised her
people would come.

I'm afraid
my hands are tied, Ginger.

You see, even though

I'm the acknowledged
leader of my social stratum,

even I must
occasionally conform

to the will
of the group,

and since the group
will not go,

neither will I.

I've got to get
that book;

apparently,
it's a must-read.

Aw, just when I thought
I was kind of in,

they push me right back out.

But what am I
going to tell Laetitia?

I really let her down.

Uh, listen,
about this whole
RSVP-thing, um...

We won't
be doing it.

( wailing )

Wow, Carl.

Makes you wonder
what RSVP stands for.

We still got a gift for you.

HOODSEY:
And one for
Mr. Licorice,

even though technically we
didn't have to get him one.

( Brandon sniffling )

I want you boys
to see something.

Do we have to?

Yeah, well, okay,
sure, fine.

( wailing )

Now I'm going to be
all by my lonesome,
lonesome self

on my birthday,
yes, I will!

You've got Mr. Licorice.

HOODSEY:
Not the same thing, Carl.

Hoods, you're making it
sound like we got...

( clears throat )
excuse us, Brandon.

( weakly ):
Okay.

All right, this time
you're feeling bad,
I can smell it.

But do you
have any idea

what we'll be giving up
if we go to Brandon's party?

Embalming fluid,
instruments with
hooks on the end,

weird stuff in jars.

You're over-thinking
the time spread.

Brandon's party's
in the afternoon.

The mortuary one
isn't until later.

They'll only overlap
a little.

Right!

You're a genius.

We go to Brandon's,
stay a while,

then ditch out
and crash Ginger's.

What a great idea.

I know, that's why
I came up with it.

Well, Brandon, you're in luck.

Me and Hoods
rearranged our schedule

and it looks like
we'll be RSVP-ing after all.

I can't wait!

This'll be the best party ever,

even better than the time

we rented a lady monkey
we called "Mrs. Licorice,"

and had ourselves
a little monkey wedding,

¶ yes, we did. ¶

I think I'm going to hurl.

You did promise her
a crowd and, well...

there isn't going to be one.

Well, we're
a crowd, kind of.

DARREN:
Heard about
everyone refusing

to go to Laetitia's party,
so I'm here

to throw my hat
into the ring as
a definite attendee.

Aw, thanks, Darren.

I feel bad, because
she thinks she fits in

and it turns out
she doesn't.

What are you
going to do?

There's just
no convincing

the dominant
social group.

That's why they're
the dominant
social group.

Unless we convince an
even more dominant
social group.

You want me and my friends
to go to some tweener thing?

Uh-uh, no way.

But Will, I once crashed
a party you were at.

Big, big, big, big,
big difference,
Little Red.

You crashed up.

I'd be crashing down.

MACIE:
No arguing with that.

GINGER:
Anyone got any more ideas?

Tell Laetitia the truth
and be okay with it.

BRANDON:
And thank you
for all the presents

from Mommy and Daddy
and Stuart

and Aunt Portia
and Uncle Alex...

Do you think you could

tap the accelerator
there a bit, Brandon?

And Carl and Hoodsey, amen.

Ditto.

Uh-huh.

By the handle,
Brandon.

We don't want
to cut ourselves.

Yes, Mommy.

( Mr. Licorice chattering )

How big a slice would you like?

This big?

Or this big?

Or this big?

Or this big?

Any size would be fine.

Tastes a bit... off.

You're just not used
to dietetic sugar.

Real sugar can make
little boys hyperactive.

Hey...

nice poured cement
swimming hole

you've got there,
Brando.

Bet you've got, like,
tons of kids

coming to your door
all summer long.

I've never heard
of such a thing.

Aunt Portia-- sonic toothbrush.

Ah, just what
every little boy needs--

a way to clean
below the gumline.

And that's just what we'll say
in the thank you card.

Good for you, Brandon.

Uh-uh-uh--
we don't put our feet

on the furniture
in this house.

FATHER:
Don't worry,
honey.

I can edit him out.

So I'm really sorry
I talked you into

throwing this party.

I think I sort of
gave you the impression

I was in with the "in"
crowd, and it turns out...

She isn't.

I didn't tell you
because I wanted to avoid...

humiliating
herself.

Thanks, Dodie--
humiliating myself.

I'm really sorry.

Well, I've got to admit
I kind of had my hopes up

I was finally
going to become popular,

but hey, as far as
I'm concerned,

you guys are the "in" crowd.

You talked to me
before anyone
else did,

and since technically
it only takes two
to make a party...

We're practically a bash.

GINGER:
Yeah, right.

A toast...

to the new "in" crowd.

( kids laugh
and toast each other )

It's an original,

so you might want to
hang it somewhere special.

Why, thank you, Carl.

I can see you worked
very hard on this.

( softly ):
I'll hang it

in the guest
bedroom bathroom.

Hardly anyone ever
goes in there.

( footsteps fade away )

Well, it's been
a swell party,
but, uh...

We've got other
social obligations.

( gasps )

You can't leave!

Brandon, we did the cake, we did
the gifts, what more is there?

Right, because
we don't do games.

I... I have to
tell you something.

My parents think I'm popular.

No way!
Get out!

It's true.

I told them no one
could come to my party

because they all suffered
inner ear imbalances

when the carousel at
the mall spun out of control

on account of the power surge.

Smooth lie.

Nice details.

So if you leave now,
they'll get suspicious!

And I can't let
my parents find out

I don't have any friends.

I'd be humiliated!!

( sobbing noisily )

Well, it's just that...

I mean, we've only got to...

See, there's this other...

( awkward pause )

( wailing hopelessly )

( sobbing )

No!

I can't
help it, Carl.

I feel
really bad.

Hey, Brandon,
you're in luck.

See, it turns out
there's this other

birthday party being
thrown for you.

Really?

Don't run so fast.

My sandals are
giving me blisters!

( panting )

You think we should
have told him

where it's being held?

You want to play,
you've got to pay.

Hey, Carl.

( panting ):
Can't stop.

Got a mortuary
shindig to crash.

WILL:
Mortuary shindig?

You know someone
who lives in a mortuary?

CARL:
I said "crash."

Meaning
we don't.

It's my sister's friend.

( rap music playing
on car radio )

BRANDON:
Gosh-darn socks.

( loud music continues )

( doorbell ringing )

GINGER:
Courtney?

Hi, Ginger.

The thing of it is,

I got to thinking
about what you said,

and I really hate it
when I do that.

Basically, you made her feel
guilty, spineless, amoral.

Yes, Miranda, I think
we all get the point.

Anyway, your taking a stand

by going ahead
with this party,

well, it made me
want to take
a stand, too.

Really?

Well, you know how I hate

being left out of anything,

although I'm still
not entirely convinced.

Just pretend they're
tanning beds.

But my party's upstairs.

I can hear people talking.

Well, uh, yeah...

You'd be right about that,
uh, but, um...

But we
have to crawl

through a window
and sneak up on them

because it's
a reverse surprise party.

Uh-huh.

You don't
miss a trick,
do you, Brando?

( Courtney screams )

I told you
we shouldn't have come.

That rumor was true.

( screaming )

Mr. Wiznitzsky.

( screaming )

COURTNEY:
That's it.

I've taken a stand
long enough--

I'm out of here.

Yo, Courtney.

Yo, yourself.

Not leaving already, are you?

Of course not.

Well?

You didn't say

this party was
at a funeral home--

major selling point.

Ooh, check out the caskets.

GINGER:
Carl, what were you
doing down there?

CARL:
Being profoundly moved.

Don't ask me
how a minus
turned into a plus.

( party music jamming )

Hey, drinks off the caskets,
you'll leave water marks.

Right-- you stain it,
you bought it.

( laughing )

and NICKELODEON

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