All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S03E06 Come as You Are 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," presented by--

- [SINGING] Hotpoint,
Hotpoint, Hotpoint

changes your viewpoint,
automatically.

Because Hotpoint makes the
finest things electrically.

New push button
ranges that you adore.

Refrigerator superstore.

So keep the food
that suits your mood.

Get your wishes and
wash those dishes.

Everyone knows Hotpoint
is best for clothes.

Washes them clean and
dries them smooth.

Your disposition, it
will surely soothe.

Hotpoint brings all this to you,
with the Nelson family, too--

Ozzie, Harriet, David, Ricky!

"The Ozzie and Harriet Show."

[theme music]

- And now, Hotpoint presents
America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And, of course, his lovely
wife Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next-door
neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

[doorbell rings]

- Wally!

Come on in.

- Well, how are you, Oz?
How's my boy?

- Oh, fine.
Thanks.

I hope you'll forgive
my appearance.

I wasn't expecting company.

Come on in and sit down.

- No, no, no, I can't stay.

I just came by to extend an
invitation to you and Harriet.

- Hello, Wally.
- Hello, Harriet.

How's my girl?
- Just fine.

Thanks.
Come on in and sit down.

- No, I just dropped
by for a moment.

- Hi, Mr. Dipple.
- Hello, Ricky!

How's my boy?

- Gee, I don't know.

I haven't seen him today.

- No, I mean you.

How are you?

- Oh, fine, thanks.

- Uh, Wally, what's this
about an invitation?

- Oh, Oz, I have had
my annual brainstorm.

- Oh, I bet I know what it is.

- Now, Harriet, let
me do the honors.

I have here a scroll.

"Hear ye, hear ye.

All ye olde friends and ye old
neighbors are invited to ye

olde Dipple's house for ye
olde come-as-ye-are party.

And all ye whosoever
chicken out are dirty dogs."

- Oh!

Another one of those
crazy parties, eh?

- Yes, siree.

It's at our house, as usual.

And you're liable to get the
call anytime this afternoon

or tonight.
- Oh, boy.

Me, too?

- No, I'm afraid not, Rick.

Ye aren't old enough.

- That's right, Ricky.

This is for us
grown-up children.

Now, remember the rules, Oz.

When the phone rings,
drop everything

and come running
just as you are,

no matter how you're dressed.

- Yeah, I know.

Just drop everything
and come running.

- Yeah.

Of course, if you were
fasting on your suspenders,

you'd better pick up your
pants before you try and run.

- That might be a good idea.

- Now remember, you're on your
honor to come just as you are.

- Oh, uh, Wally,
uh, you wouldn't

want to give us just a
little hint as to when it is,

would you?

- Why, Oz!

- We'll see you later, Wally.

- Right you are, Harriet.

- Uh, Wally, uh, just want
to get this straight now.

You say it is at your
house, that's right?

- That's right,
Oz, at our house.

- And what time did you
say it was going to be?

- Oh, about-- oh, no you don't.

You thought you could make me
say, drop over to our house

at 730, didn't you?

- Oh, well, 7:30?
So that's it?

- That's right, Oz.

730 Oak Street, where we've
lived for the last 10 years.

- What is this
party anyway, Pop?

- Oh, it's just a party, son.

- How come Mr. Dipple wouldn't
tell you what time to come?

- Oh, well, that's
the point of it.

You're not supposed to know.

- Kind of like a secret, huh?

- Well, in a way it is.

See, Mr. Dipple's going to
phone us a little later on,

and whatever we're
wearing when he phones,

that's what we'll have
to wear to the party.

- Even if you have
your old clothes on?

- Well, sure.

See, that's the fun of it,
getting caught unawares.

- Heck, that doesn't
sound like much fun to me,

getting caught in
your underwear.

- No, no.

You'd have to be pretty dumb to
get caught in your underwear.

- Oh, I don't know.

You did pretty well last year.

As I recall, you were
the hit of the party.

- Oh--

- What were you wearing, Pop?

- It's what he wasn't wearing.

- Well, I was wearing my
pajamas and an old bathrobe.

But the unfortunate part of
it was almost everybody else

in the party was all dressed up.

Well, I'll be right back.

- Hey, where are you going?

- Well, I'm going upstairs
to put my new suit on.

Then, I'll be all
set when he calls.

- I thought you're supposed
to wear whatever you have on.

- Well, you are, and that's
what I'll have on when he calls,

my new suit.

- Wouldn't that spoil the fun?

- No, not for me it won't.

My fun will be not knowing
what everybody else is

going to wear.
- But, Ozzie--

- Now, Harriet, I'm not going
to get stuck in my pajamas

and bathrobe again this year.
- But, dear--

- And wait a minute.

I know just what
you're going to say.

Where's my sense of humor?

Where's my sense
of sportsmanship?

Where is my sense of fair play?

And I say to you,
where's my new suit?

I'm not going to get
stuck again this year.

- Well, all right.

But I think you're taking
this thing too seriously.

- Crazy, mixed up adults.

- For goodness sakes.

Whoever heard of sweeping off
a walk in a formal party dress?

Where's your sense of humor?

Where's your sense
of sportsmanship?

Where's your sense of fair play?

- The same place yours are,
upstairs in the bedroom closet.

Get out of here before I
lose my sense of direction

with this broom.
- Oh, no, no, no!

Hey, hey, come on.

Watch the material.

Now, I think this
is a wonderful idea.

There's no sense going to the
Dipples' party dressed in rags,

you know.
- Oh, you're so right.

I'm sorry I got dust on you.
Here, I'll brush it off.

- No, no, no.

That's OK.

I think I'll go over and tell
Thorny about my little scheme.

- Well, looks like
you won't have to.

- Hey, Thorny!

- Hi, Oz!

- Holy smokes.

I didn't realize this was going
to be such a formal affair.

Head waiter and everything.

- [laughs] Just relax, Oz.

I don't want to get caught
like I was last year.

- Well, how is that?

- You mean you don't remember?

- Well, no.

I was wearing my pajamas
and an old bathrobe.

I thought I was the
hit of the party.

- Oz, you were just
the opening act.

I was the featured attraction.

When that phone rang last
year, I was taking a shower.

- Sure, I remember now.

- Yeah, I thought you would.

- And you were wearing that
old, silly-looking robe.

- Oh, no, no.

That was a shower curtain.

I'm not worried this year.

Ol' Wally Dipple can
call any time he chooses.

- I'm sort of ready
for him myself.

- Yeah, you do
look pretty sharp.

- Oh, thanks.

It's a new suit.

- Oh, I thought I
smelled mothballs.

- You smell
mothballs, all right,

but it's from that old full
dress job you're wearing.

- [laughs] So how do you
like this soup and fish?

- It looks pretty classy.

I think those white
work gloves give it

sort of an unusual touch.

- Well, I think I'll
get back in the house.

- I thought you were going
to take out the trash.

- I am, but I think I'd better
get my top hat and cane,

just in case he
calls a little early.

- Oh, hiya, boys.

- Oh, hiya, Pop.

- Hiya, Pop.

- Be careful of the soapy water.

Where are you going
all dressed up?

- Oh, uh, no place right now.

Your mother and I have been
invited to a come-as-you-are

party at the Dipples.

They're gonna phone
us a little later

on when they're ready for us.

So you're washing the car.

- Yes, sir.

Mom asked me to.

- Well, it's nice of
you guys to wash it

when your mother asks you to.

- Of course, the
dollar he's getting

has nothing to do with it.

- You're getting your share too.

- What kind of soap
you using there, Dave?

- I don't know, Pop.

Some stuff I got
from the kitchen.

- Careful.

Don't use too much soap.

- Why not, Pop?

- Well, it, uh,
oxidizes the, uh--

the surface of the--

it has some sort of
a chemical reaction.

I don't know exactly
what it is technically,

but I know I've read
somewhere not too much soap.

Don't you think you'd better
hose it down now, Dave?

- OK, Pop?

- You're not going to want a
consultation fee now, are you,

Pop?
- No.

Oh!
Oh, Dave.

- I'm sorry, Pop.

- I don't want to get
this new suit messed up.

- Can't you get it cleaned, Pop?

The cleaner's coming today.

- Well, yeah, but I want
to wear this to the party.

- Hey, Dad.

[clattering]

[splash]
- [groans]

- Did you hurt yourself, Pop?

- Oh, boy, this new
suit is just ruined.

Ugh!

Darn!

- Ozzie!

For goodness sakes,
what happened to you?

- Oh, I fell in a darn
tub of soapy water.

Look at my good suit.

- Oh!

Oh, what a shame, dear.

- I'll get up and change.

- Well, you'd better hurry up.

We don't know when
Wally's gonna call.

- Hey, Harriet!

Harriet, where's the key
to the bedroom closet?

- The bedroom
closet isn't locked.

It's open.

- I have been trying to open
it, and you can't open it!

- Well, it sticks a little.

Give it a pull.

[phone ringing]

[door rattling]

- Hey, Pop, the phone's ringing.
- Yes, I know!

Just let it ring!
- Aren't you going to answer it?

- No, no!
Just let it ring, son!

- Yeah, but it
might be Mr. Dipple.

You wouldn't want to miss
the party, would you?

I'd better answer--
- No, no!

Oh!

Hey, here's what I
want, a pair of pants.

[phone ringing]

Wait a minute.

These aren't my pants.
- I know.

They're mine.

I was taking them
to the cleaners.

Hello?

- Just a minute.

It's for you, Pop.

- I might as well
face the punishment.

You'll be hearing about this
for the next 20 years, son.

OK, Wally, you got me.

- It's not Wally, Oz.

It's me, Thorny.

- Thorny!

Oh, it's good to
hear your voice.

Listen, just hang on to the
phone for a few minutes,

will you?
I don't want anybody to ring it.

I know this isn't
exactly cricket,

but I'm in a bit of a jam.

I'll explain later.

So keep the phone off the hook.

- I was going to ask you to
do the same thing for me, Oz.

I had a little accident
with a trash can.

- Oh!

Hey, what have we here?

- Well, it's kind of
a festive occasion,

and we're all dressed
up, so I thought I'd

whip up a few hors d'oeuvres.

- Oh, boy, do they look good.

- Well, try one.

- Well, I think I'd
better get prepared first.

I've already ruined
one good suit.

I don't want to ruin another.

[knock on door]

- Oh, come on in, Thorny.

- Hi, Oz.
Hi, Harriet.

- Well, Beau Brummell himself.

- Hiya, Thorny.

I see you're going
formal tonight.

- Yep, this is one time the joke
is going to be on Wally Dipple.

- Have you heard from him yet?

- No, I thought I'd drop in
and see if he called you.

- No, I haven't heard
a word from him.

- Say, what do we have here?

Ooh, hors d'oeuvres!

- Thorny, how do you
always manage to drop in

on us just when we're eating?

- Well, you know, Oz, I've often
wondered about that myself.

Don't let me interrupt you.

I'll just sit over here
quietly, quietly and hungrily.

- Oh, help yourself, Thorny.

- Thanks, Harriet.

That's mighty neighborly of you.

- Nuh, uh, uh, uh.

Wait a minute.

- Thanks, Oz.

Boy, these sure look delicious.

There's only one
thing missing, though.

- What's that?
- Champagne.

- Champagne?

- Sure.

You ought to have champagne to
go with these wonderful hors

d'oeuvres.

- You know, for a
moocher, you have

the most expensive tastes of
anybody I've ever encountered.

- Oh, Oz, you only
need a small bottle,

say about the size of the
one in your refrigerator.

- Oh, wait a minute.

That was a Christmas present.

I'm saving that for
a special occasion.

- Well, this is a
special occasion.

We're finally going
to put one over

on that joker, Wally Dipple.

- Say, you know, you
got something there.

I wonder what Harriet
would think about this.

Yeah, I think I'll
crack it open.

- Good boy, Oz.

You're a real sport.

- Oh, Harriet, Thorny
and I were just talking.

We thought it might
be a good idea

to pop open that bottle
of Christmas champagne.

Is it OK with you?
- Oh, sure.

Whatever you say.

- Oh, I'll get the glasses, too.

- Where's Catherine, Thorny?

- Oh, she's home
fixing her face.

Boy, you should
have heard her laugh

when she saw me in my tuxedo.

She thinks I'm being silly
about the whole thing.

- What's she going to wear?

- Whatever she's wearing
when Wally calls.

She says that's the fun of
a come-as-you-are party.

- Well, I expect she's right.

- Of course, for the
last three or four hours,

she's been wearing
her best party dress.

- Well, I don't plan to be
trapped this time either.

- What a laugh at
ol' Wally Dipple,

when he sees us walking
there all dressed up.

- Champagne coming right up.

- Oh!

- Is this an old
enough vintage for you?

- Well, let me see.

'53!

Yes, it was a very good year.

Want me to show you
how to open that?

- Now, please.

The host always opens the wine.

- I think I'll get out
of the line of fire.

- Harriet, I'm an
expert at this.

- Harriet, has he ever opened
a bottle of champagne before?

Oh!

- Oh, oh, oh!

- Oh!

What are you doing
with my tuxedo?

- [laughs]

- Oh, Oz, this is
not funny, you know!

- I'm sorry.

I never liked that
tuxedo on you anyway.

Your pocket's too big.

- What are you doing, Oz?!

How would you like
champagne all over you?!

Give me that thing, will you?!

- Cut it out, will you?!
- Fellas.

- Hey!

Hey, cut it out!

Thorny, cut it out!

- Would you like to go
to the party like this?

- Holy smokes!
She's right!

Wally's liable to
phone any minute.

Come on, Thorny,
change your clothes!

- Care for anything else?

- No, thanks.

This is a wonderful
dinner, Harriet.

- Oh, you were so
nervous, I figured you'd

spill something on your suit.

I bet you don't even
know what we had.

- Well, sure I do.

We had the meatloaf, the mashed
potatoes, gravy, and apple pie.

I could tell by the spots.

[chuckles]

- Still, with all that,
you really were nervous.

- It's lucky I had this on me.

Do you want me to help you clear
off the table or something?

- No.

You go on in the
living room and relax.

You've had a busy day.

I wonder when Wally's
going to call.

The suspense is killing me.

- If I know Wally, he'll
wait till the last minute.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Oh.

Oh, no, no.

I'm sorry, you've
got the wrong number.

- Hey, Pop.

There's something wrong
with this darn pen.

- Oh, careful, Ricky!

It'll splatter all over.

- Oh, don't worry, Pop.

I can't get any ink out of it.

- Well, I'm sure I could,
and all over myself, too.

This is my day for
doing things like that.

- Hey, maybe it just
needs to be refilled.

- Well, maybe so.

Do it yourself, would
you, please, son?

Oh, no, no.

Rick, please, take the ink up
to your bedroom or some place.

This is my last good suit,
and I have to go to the party.

- Pop, would you help me get
the top off this shoe polish?

It's stuck.
- Oh, no!

Dave, uh, please, take it out
on the back porch or something,

will you?

All I need is to get
shoe polish on this suit.

- Ozzie, it's almost 7:30.

Shouldn't Wally
be calling by now?

- Well, yeah.

- Hasn't he called yet, Pop?

- No.

Ol' Dipple always
works it that way.

He figures to call you
when you least expect it

and catch you off guard.

- That's a nice suit, dear.

Stand up and let me see it.

- Oh.

Uh, it's an old suit.

It's been hanging in
the closet, Harriet.

It's kind of conservative.

- I like those
natural shoulders.

- Uh, I really should wear a
vest with a suit like this.

Oh, there's a thread here.

- Oh, you'd better let
me get the scissors.

- No, that's all right.

I don't think it leads anywhere.

- Dear, you'd better
let me get the scissors.

- Well, my curiosity
is aroused now.

There it is.

I think it's a nice suit.

Could stand a little pressing.

Well, I have exactly
two wearable outfits

left in the closet, my overalls
and my swimming trunks.

- You have a couple of
more suits at the cleaners.

But those slacks look very nice.

Why don't you come over
here and sit down now?

- Uh, no.

I think I'll just
stand right out

here in the middle of the
living room where it's safe.

Nothing can possibly
happen to me

here unless the roof caves in.

- What's the matter?

- I'm just looking at that
crack in the ceiling there.

You know, the next time Dipple
gives a party like this,

remind me to buy a plastic
slipcover for myself.

[phone ringing]

Oh.

Well, at least we're
ready for him this time.

Hello?

- Oh, hello, Oz.

This is Wally Dipple.

- Hello, Wally.

I kind of thought
it might be you.

- Well, I've got some
bad news for you.

I'm afraid we're going to
have to postpone the party.

- Oh, no.

You're kidding.

- Oz, I hate to call you
up at this last minute,

but, well, it's just
one of those things.

- Oh, gee, but we've been
sitting here waiting--

I mean, you know, we've been
counting on going to the party

tonight.

- Oh, I'm sure sorry.

I hope you're not
too disappointed.

- Oh, well, naturally,
we're disappointed,

but I understand how
those things are.

- Yeah, well, I've got
a lot of people to call.

So long, Oz.

- So long, Wally.

Fine.

The Dipples have had
to postpone the party.

- Well, is somebody sick?

- Yeah, I am.

- I mean, why did they
have to postpone it?

- Well, I don't know.

I didn't ask him.

- Well, what do we do now?

- I know what I'm going to do.

I'm going to go upstairs
and change my clothes.

- What?
Again?

- Yes, but for the last time.

I'm going to put on my
pajamas and watch television

for a little while
and then turn in.

- Good idea.

- Uh, Harriet?

- Yes, dear?

- Uh, the Dipples
are real nice people.

I'm very fond of Wally,
and I know you like Marge.

But the next time they decide
to give one of these parties,

let's make arrangements to
be out of town, shall we?

- I know what you mean.

Well.

- Oh, hiya, fellas.

- Hiya, Pop.

- Hiya, Pop.

- Gee, what'd you spill
on yourself this time?

- Oh, nothing at all.
Why?

- Well, how come you
have on your pajamas?

- Oh, well, Mr. Dipple phoned,
and the party's been postponed.

- Oh, gee, that's too bad, Pop.

- Well, I'm just as glad, Dave.

I'd just leave stay
home and relax.

Frankly, I feel comfortable
for the first time today.

[phone ringing]

- Do you want me to get it?

- No, thanks, Dave.
It's probably Mr. Thornberry.

I'll get it.

Hello?

- Hi, Oz.

Wally Dipple again.

- Oh, hi, Wally.

- OK, you know the party rules.

No fair cheating, either.

You've got to wear just
what you have on right now.

- What are you talking about?

- The come-as-you-are
party tonight.

- Tonight?

You said you were
going to postpone it!

- That's right.

We postponed it from 8
o'clock until 9 o'clock.

[chuckles] I'll
see you later, Oz.

- Now, wait a minute.

Wally, Wally?

Of all the dirty tricks!

Harriet!

Harriet!

Harriet!

Harriet?

Ha--
- For goodness sakes, dear.

What are you shouting about?

- It's good to get home.

- Yeah, I'm tired myself.

- Well, at least we were
all dressed for bed.

- I thought everybody
was a very good sport

about the whole thing.
Didn't you?

- Yeah, I did.

Poor ol' Dunkle was caught
with only half his face shaved.

- What about Fred Peterson?

I didn't know men wore
night shirts anymore.

- I have to admit it turned out
to be a pretty hilarious party.

[phone ringing]

- I wonder who that could be.

- Hello?

- Oz?

This is Thorny.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

- What's up?

- Oz, you know when
I was caught taking

a shower when Wally called?

- [laughs] Yeah.

- And you know
what I had to wear?

The shower curtain?

- Yes.

- You know, it was one of those
parties where the host calls

up and says, "Come as you are."

- Yes, Thorny.

I know all that.

- Well, will you please
explain it to this policeman?

[ending theme]

- You can find where to
buy your new Hotpoint

by checking your local
classified telephone directory.

Look for Hotpoint under
the appliance you want.

Ask your local Hotpoint dealer
to show you the new Hotpoint

ranges, the new Hotpoint
refrigerators, the new Hotpoint

automatic washers and dryers,
and the new Hotpoint automatic

dishwashers.

Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to
you by Antizyme.

Listerine Antizyme toothpaste
stops the major cause

of tooth decay every
minute of every day.

- Well, good night, folks.

We'll see you again next week.

- Good night.

And remember, Hotpoint changes
your viewpoint, automatically.

- That's what I always say, boy.

- What do you always
say, little man?

- Hotpoint changes your
viewpoint, automatically.

- The part of Wally Dipple
was played by Lloyd Corrigan.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

- The fact that there are two
million additional children

in our schools this year has
caused the overcrowded school

problem to grow worse.

Three classrooms out of
every five are overcrowded.

Some localities
need more buildings.

Some, more textbooks
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Some, more transportation.

They all need our help.

Join and work with local
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actively seeking to improve
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