All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S02E37 The Painter 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-ZEW_track3_[eng]

- Hey, what's all
the excitement?

- We got a special
message for your, Mom.

- Here it is, Mom.

- "Listerine
Antizyme Toothpaste,

stops the major cause of
tooth decay every minute

of every day."

Well, I know that.

- Yeah, but we just want to
make sure everybody knows it.

[engine sounds]

- ...and Antizyme, the first
all-day anti enzyme toothpaste,

presents "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course, his lovely
wife, Harriet, Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next
door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Well, Lillian Schellenberger
is finally getting married.

- Who?

- Lillian Schnellenberger.

You know, her father
owns the Emporium.

We went to school together.

- How come Little Orphan
Annie never grows up?

Is she a midget?

- Can I have the funnies, David?

- Read your own
section of the paper.

- OK.

OK.

Hey, United Smelting's going
to declare another dividend!

They must have sold
a lot of smelts, boy.

[laughter]

- How do you like this?

It says here in
the sports section,

Thornbury is expected to
win the rotary club golf

tournament again this year.

What do they mean again?

He beat me last year on a fluke.

- According to this,
Lillian's only 33.

She must be older than that,
because I can remember when we

graduated from school together.

I was-- well, it's
all right with me.

[laughter]

Too many sales in this paper.

- Hey, this is neat.

Car loadings are up.

- What's that mean?

- Who cares as
long as they're up?

[laughter]

- Emporium's having
a month end sale.

- Hey, Harriett, how about this?

It says Lillian Schellenberg
is getting married.

- Prices on those slip covers.

- What did Thorny
score last year?

- $16.95.

- No, no.

That's impossible.

[laughter]

- I know.

I've never seen them so cheap.

- Seen what?

- Slip covers.

- Harriet, what in the
world does slip covers

have to do with
Thorny's golf score?

- Well, if you'd spend less
time playing golf with him,

you'd notice that the slipcovers
in the den are all faded.

- Oh, I don't know.

I think they're a rather
nice shade of yellow.

- They were blue
when we bought them.

[laughter]

- Yeah, I think I'll take
advantage of this sale

and buy a whole new set.

- Just a second, Harriet.

Don't you think we ought to
talk this over a little bit?

- Can I be excused, please, Pop?

- Yeah, me too, Pop.

- Well, where are you going?

- I'm going to call my broker.

[laughter]

- No, no, no.

There's a little situation
that calls for a general family

discussion, I think.

- May I be excused?

- No, no, Harriet,
wait a minute now.

I think we ought
to talk this over.

In the first place,
where do you figure

I'm getting the money
to buy the slip covers?

- No, I plan to use the
money that Aunt Mary sent us

for our anniversary.

- Oh?

Well, yes, I suppose we
could use it for that.

- Unless you're planning to
do something special with it.

- Well, no, no.

- Good, then I'll
get slipcovers.

- I was in the Emporium
the other day, Harriet.

- In the sporting
goods department.

Pop was looking at--

- Just a second, Dave, please.
Let me tell you mother.

- I'm sorry.
I didn't know it was a secret.

- Well, it isn't
exactly, but it's

just one of those things you
let dribble out a little bit

at a time.

[laughter]

I thought I might buy a
new set of golf clubs.

- And you were planning to use
the money Aunt Mary sent us?

- Well, that's what
I figured I'm doing.

Isn't that OK?

- I suppose your old golf
clubs are all broken and bent.

- No.

- Are they rusty?

- No.

I wouldn't exactly say that.

Just a spot here and there.

- What is wrong with them?

- Well, let's put it this way.

Don't you get kind of tired
of a hat if you've worn it

several years?

- Yes, I guess I do.

- Well, that's the
same general idea.

- Well, look.

As a matter of curiosity, how
much are these golf clubs?

- Oh, they got plenty.

- They sure do, boy, plenty.

- Thank you, fellas.

Didn't you guys ask to
be excused a minute ago?

- Yeah, but this is
getting interesting, Pop.

- Harriet, you see,
the whole point of it

is, Thorny and I play
a pretty even game,

and I figure these
new golf clubs

would be just the edge I need
to beat him in the tournament.

Awful nice clubs.

They're designed by Mickey
Rockford, the famous golf pro.

- I hate to interrupt
you, but could we

get back to the slipcovers?

- Yes, as a matter of fact,
I wish we would discuss them.

Just what's wrong with
the old slip covers?

Is the material worn?
- Well, no.

But they're awfully faded.

- Can you still sit on them?

- Yes.

- You can even jump
up and down on them.

[laughter]

- In other words, the only thing
wrong with the old slip covers

is that the color
is depleted, right?

- Right.

- Then what do we do?

- Replete the colors.

- Exactly.

That is, we restore the
colors by dyeing them.

- Well, sending them out to be
dyed, it costs almost as much

as new ones.

- Well, I wasn't exactly
thinking of sending them out.

I thought that we
could dye them.

We could make this a
family project, eh, boys?

- Here comes another one
of those awkward pauses?

- May I be excused please, Pop?

- No, I'm sorry, boys.

But my offer has expired.

- You sure got short
leaves around here.

[laughter]

- What I figured, Harriet,
is we just get together

on this whole thing.

Now, for instance,
the boys and I

could take the slip
covers off the chairs.

And then I'd be willing to
drive all the way downtown

and go into the store,
and pick out the dyes,

and drive back in
the car with them.

And then you could take
it over from there.

Could anything be
fairer than that?

- Yes, anything.

[laughter]

Aunt Mary did send us
the money to buy a--

- Harriet, please.

Believe me, it isn't the money.

It's the principle of the thing.

- And the principal
thing is the golf clubs.

[laughter]

- No, David.

The principal is a much more
important thing than that.

In a situation like
this, this family

should use its American
heritage of know-how, ingenuity,

and stick-to-itiveness.

Can't emphasize too strongly.

- I surrender.

I'll dye the slipcovers.

[laughter]

- Now you see, boys?

Instead of laying out
this money for slip covers

that we don't need, we
make the old ones new.

This enables us to save the
balance of Aunt Mary's money

for a more worthwhile
thing, Harriet.

- Fore.

[laughter]

- I think I'll take a
little stroll downtown.

- Oh, just a second,
dear, before you tee off.

If we're not going to get
new slip covers for the den,

the least we can do is brighten
it up with a little paint.

- Well, now, wait a minute,
that's not fair, Harriet.

We never even
discussed painting.

- Well, let's discuss it now.

I'll sit down here, and you
bring up a chair over there.

- No, no, wait a minute.

If we paint the room,
I won't have any money

to buy the golf clubs.

- Well, sure you will,
if you paint it yourself.

- Paint it myself?

- Well, certainly!

You don't think I'm going
to call in a painter

after that beautiful
speech you made

about our American
heritage of know-how

and stick-to-itiveness.

- Looks like you're stuck
with your stuck-to-itivieness

on this, Pop.

- Getting in a little
sneaky practice, eh?

- Well, naturally I'll have
to beat you in the tournament

again this year.

I'll never hear the end of it.

- What makes you so confident?

- Oh, for one thing, Oz, I'll
be wearing my lucky golf outfit.

- You mean those tired old plus
fours and that corny golfing

cap?

- Yes, sir.

Besides that, I'll be wearing
my lucky red suspenders.

Worn them every time
I've beaten you.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to talk on
your back swing like that.

Thorny, just let me
interrupt you a minute.

Just a matter of
curiosity, have you

been slicing any balls
over the blanket here

and breaking any of
Duncan's windows?

- Oh, no, you don't, Oz.

It just so happens
that I know this

is one of your old
psychological tricks.

But it won't faze me.

- Go ahead.

You know what you're doing.

- I do have a little problem
here, but I'll figure it out.

- Oh, sure.

- Probably a little thing.

Like the thing that's
ruining your approach shot.

- Trying to put the
whammy on me, eh?

I tell you what I'll do, Thorny.

Just in the interest
of good sportsmanship,

you tell me what
I'm doing wrong,

and I'll see if I can
solve your other problem.

- OK, Oz.

Well, one of the
fundamentals of golf

is to always keep your
left arm straight.

You're bending yours.

- Say, by golly, you're right.

Gee, thanks a lot.

- Wait a minute, Oz.

What about me?

- Oh.

Well, let's see.

How can I explain this now?

Well, as you get up on
the tee and you're just

about ready to
address the ball, you

have a feeling of nervousness.

- What do you mean exactly?

- Well, I mean sort of
a feeling of insecurity,

as if all of a sudden,
people were going to burst

out laughing at you.

- As a matter of fact, I do.

Why is that, Oz?

- Well, you know those
old plus fours you wear?

- Yeah.

- Well, you need a new pair
of friendly suspenders.

[laughter]

- Come on back here!

- Oh, Mr. Nelson.
- Oh, yes.

How are you?

- You weren't going to walk
through the sporting goods

department without looking
at your clubs, were you?

- Well, to be honest
with you, I was on my way

to the paint shop.

- Aren't they beauties?

Here they are,
sitting right here,

just saying,
"Please, Mr. Nelson,

take me home and win the rotary
club tournament with me."

- Well, I have to pick up--

- Aren't they beauties?

Here, just take a
swing with this 9 iron.

- Such a beautifully
balanced club.

- Go ahead.

- How'd that look?

- Oh, fine, fine.

Mickey Rockford himself couldn't
have done it better, though.

Except for one thing,
you'd do much better

if you'd keep your
left arm straight.

- You know, it's funny.

My neighbor mentioned the same--

Say, wait a minute.

There's a scratch
on this 9 iron.

Look.

- I don't think so.

- Well, certainly, take a--

Somebody has been
using my clubs.

- They're not your clubs.

- Now, just a moment.

I happen to have paid
a deposit on these.

- Mr. Nelson, $1 wouldn't
buy the box they came in.

[laughter]

- When a man makes a deposit
in good faith, it's his right--

- I appreciate that, Mr.
Nelson, but that deposit

was three months ago.

Since then, you've had more than
$1 worth of practice with them

right here in the store.

And it's not the
policy of the Emporium.

- Now, just a moment.

I happen to know a little
bit about the policy

of the Emporium.

It so happens that
Lillian Schnellenberger,

the daughter of the owner, is
a very good friend of my wife.

- Now, Mr. Nelson--

- They went to school together.

- Let's not lose our temper.

- I'm sorry.

- No, it was my fault.
But you must admit,

it's unfair to tie up
these beautiful clubs.

- Is somebody else
interested in them?

- Several other people.

Matter of fact, I might have to
sell them today and order you

another set when you
are ready for them.

- I'll take them.

[laughter]

- You mean right now?

- Well, I'll go to the
paint shop and I'll pick--

- No, no, no, don't move.

- Yes, you have to
wrap them anyways.

- It'll only take
me just a minute.

Now you stay right
where you are.

I'll be right back.

- Oh, Ozzie.

- Oh.

- Have you picked a paint yet?

- No.

I'm just on my way
over to the paint shop.

- Isn't this where you're
going to get your golf clubs?

After you paint the
room, of course.

- Oh.

You're right.

- I'll be there in
a jiffy, Mr. Nelson.

- Did I hear somebody call you?

Sounded like somebody
said, "Mr. Nelson."

- Oh, well.

That's a very common
name, Harriet.

Lots of people are named Nelson.

It's a name similar to ours.

Let's get over to the
paint shop, shall we.

I want to get started.

- Nelson.

Here, they are Mr. Nelson,
your beautiful new golf--

Mr. Nelson?

Mr. Nelson?

Oh, darn it.

He got away again.

[laughter]

[lighthearted music]

- I just want to tell
you that we're getting

ready to dye the slip covers.

- Oh, fine.

How do you like the job so far?

- Oh, looks beautiful.

- Oh, thanks.

- What about the
top of the molding?

- You mean way up there?

Oh, nobody will ever see that.

- I will.

- Well, OK.

I'll get around
to it in a minute.

- Mom, the water's boiling!

- I'll be right there.

- We're all set, Mom.

- Can we throw the slip
covers in now, Mom?

- No, not yet.

- You have to put
the dye in first.

- How do you know?

- Because I read
the instructions.

- How do they know?

- Because they invented the dye.

- How do you know?

- Because I read
the instructions.

- I got the
instructions right here.

Here's what they say.

"When the water has come to
a boil, empty package of dye

into water first.

Then immerse the
article to be dyed."

- See, wise guy?

- I would have known that
if I had read it, too.

- "Caution, be sure
to use full amount.

Dye mixture will look
dark but dries lighter."

- What does that mean?

- It's what it says.

- That the slip covers
will look dark in the pot,

but they'll dry much lighter.

- Why don't they say so?

- They did.

- Some dopey instructions, boy.

[laughter]

- OK, fellas.

You can put the
slip covers in now.

Come in, Thorny.

- Hello, Harriet.

Hi, boys.

- Hello, Mr. Thornbury.
- Where's Oz?

- He's in the den painting.

Why don't you go and see?

- Thanks.
Well, well.

What's cooking?

Homemade creme de menthe?

- We're dyeing the slip covers.

- Well, this certainly
is a beehive of activity.

You're dyeing slip covers.

Oz is in painting the den.

You know, I think I'll go
and see how old Leonardo da

Vinci is doing.

[laughter]

Hi, Oz.

- Oh, hi, Thorny.

How do you like
the job I'm doing?

- That's a real nice job, Oz.

- Oh, thanks a lot.

- Oh, wait a minute.

Aren't you going to do
the top of the molding?

- I always do that last.

- Oh, I see.

And in case no one
says anything about it,

you don't have to do it.

- That's the general idea.

How come you're not out
practicing your golf swing?

You run out of window pane?

- I just don't see any point
in improving on perfection.

What about you?

- Well, I'm practicing mentally.

- How you doing, muscle head?

- Look, Thorny, even if
I don't practice at all,

I've got a better
swing than yours.

- Since when are
you left handed, Oz?

- Oh, well, I did the rest
of this with my right hand,

and my arm got kind
of tired, and I

didn't want to interfere
with the old putting touch,

you know?

- Oh, that's a dirty shame.

Here you're all crippled
up, and I'm still

in the peak of condition.
- Go on.

- Look, Oz.

If you want to get out
of playing with me,

I'll let you bow out gracefully.

That is, if you can
bend over to bow.

- Thorny, as long as I'm able
to be carried up to the tee,

I can beat you.

- Oh, look, Oz.

Why don't you knock
off for a while?

How about a couple of cookies?

- Yeah, I think I'll
take you up on that.

Thanks a lot.
Good suggestion.

- You usually keep them out
there in your cookie jar,

don't you?

- Oh, you don't--

[laughter]

- I wonder what Harriet's
cooking for dinner.

- Slip covers.

- Oh, I wonder
how they're doing.

- Look pretty tasty to me, Oz.

- Wait a minute.

For goodness sake!

These are about
five shades darker

than they're supposed to be.

Harriet!

- They don't look
that way to me, Oz.

- Oh, certainly.

Here, take this
over by the light.

Oh, they got them too dark.

I tell you what.

Let's carry the
tub into the den,

and then we can see how it
contrasts with the white paint

I've been putting on.

That green against
the white is supposed

to contrast beautifully.

- We don't have to do that.

You got some white
paint on your nose.

Put your head right
close to the tub.

Go a little closer than that.

Closer.

[laughter]

- Your scalding my eyebrows.

- Well, by golly,
what do you know?

It is five shades darker
than it should be.

- That's what I thought.

Why the heck don't
women follow directions?

Harriet probably put about twice
as much as she was supposed to.

Harriet!

- Well, if it's going
to look like that,

it isn't going to look good.

- Oh, of course not.

Harriet!

We better put something in
to lighten it up a little.

- Wait a minute.

This bottle here is the
stuff that bleaches it.

- I don't know.
I hate to fool around with this.

- No, not at all.
Go on.

Pour it in.

- Harriet!

She's not around.

I'd hate to ruin
the slip covers.

I'll put a little in.

- Oh, you can go ahead and
pour more than that in.

- Oh, Ozzie.

Look at my slip covers.

They're all blotched
and streaked.

I don't know what
could have happened.

I followed the
instructions to the letter.

- Oh, Harriet, I hate
to disagree with you,

but Thorny and I went in
and took a look at the stuff

a little while ago, and it
was about five shades darker

than it was supposed to be.

- Well, the instructions said it
would be, But it dries lighter.

- It dries lighter?

- Ozzie, did you and Thorny do
something to my slip covers?

- Well, see, I had a little
paint on the end of my nose.

It's still there.

And so we went in
the kitchen and we

matched my nose against
the dye, and found

that the dye was too dark.

So then I did what
any reasonable person

would do under the same
or similar circumstances,

and put in a little bleach.

- Bleach?

How much?

- Oh, only about
five or six glugs.

[laughter]

- For goodness sakes, you
ruined the slip covers.

Now we'll have to buy new ones.

- Gee, I'm awfully
sorry, Harriet.

It was all my
fault. I just should

have let well enough alone.

- Oh, that's all right.

But you've been working so hard.

Why don't you knock off and
go down and buy some new slip

covers?

- Oh, gee, Harriet.

I don't feel like it.

My arm is so tired
from all this painting,

I can scarcely move it.

I just ache all over.

I think I'll just go in and
stretch you out on the couch.

- Oh, well, I just
thought that you

could get them while you were
picking up your golf clubs.

- Golf clubs?

Oh.

[laughter]

- No.

- I'll tell that guy at the
sporting goods department,

when I make a dollar deposit,
it's as good as my word.

What the heck is this?

It's closed.

- Something the matter, general?

- Oh, yes.

I can't understand
this, officer.

The store is closed
and it's not a holiday.

- It is for Mr. Shellenberger.

His daughter Lillian is
finally getting married today.

[laughter]

- You boys see any sign
of your father yet?

- No, not yet, Mom.

- Well, the tournament
must be over by now.

I wonder what's keeping him.

- Maybe he won, mom.

Maybe he's drinking
champagne out of one

of those big silver cups.

Wow!

[laughter]

- I wish it were true.

Poor old dad, he was so
disappointed about not getting

the clubs after all that work.

- He was so stiff and sore this
morning, he could hardly walk,

too.

- Well, you got to hand
it to Pop, though, Mom.

He went out to
play just the same.

- That's the old Nelson spirit.

When at last the
great score comes

to mark against your
name, it matters

not whether you won or lost,
but how you play the game.

[laughter]

- Where'd you hear that?

- Last time we went to
that Chinese restaurant.

It was in my fortune cookie.

- Well, that's not Chinese.

- Neither was the dinner.

I had pork chops.

- There's your father now.

Well, Mr. Thornbury's
helping him out of the car.

- Gee, poor Pop.

He's had it.

- Now, look, boys.

Don't ask any
embarrassing questions.

He'll tell us about
it when he's ready to.

- Oh.
- Hi.

- Hi.

- Just let me
collapse on the couch.

- Oh, dear.

Was it pretty bad?

- Was it bad?

Harriet, it was murder.

This is one day I'll never
forget as long as I live.

- Oh.

- Eight pars, two
birdies, and one eagle.

- Oh, well.
Come on now, Thorny.

You don't have to rub it in.

You could have been a
little easier on him.

- A little easier on him?!

Harriet, I've never taken
such a beating in my life.

- What?
- Please, Thorny.

- This pitiful wreck lying
here is the new rotary club

champion.

[laughter]

- Thank you.

- Oh, I can't believe it.

You did it with your old clubs.

- It was nothing.

- Nothing, he says!

Harriet, I've never
seen such shots.

Every one straight
down the fairway.

Now, he keeps saying you're
responsible for his success.

Now, will you please
tell me what you did?

- Well, I didn't do anything.

- Well, sure you did, Harriet.

You were the one who made me
paint the den, weren't you?

- What's that got to do with it?

- Well, for the first
time in my life,

I had a completely
stiff left arm.

I couldn't have bent
it if I wanted to.

[laughter]

Bring out on the champagne!

I'll bend the right one.

[applause]

[lighthearted music]

- The old cup looks pretty
nice up there, doesn't it?

- Oh, I'm proud of you, dear.
- Oh, thank you.

- Is that all the
loot you get, Pop?

- Don't be so mercenary, Ricky.

- I just want to know
if he gets any prizes.

- Well, as a matter
of fact, the merchants

do get together and form sort
of a jackpot of extra prizes.

- Oh, what do you get, dear?

- Well, a merchandise order
for a set of slip covers,

any room in the house
painted free of charge,

and a set of Mickey
Rockford golf clubs.

[laughter]

[applause]

- Thank you very much.

Our show next week will
be sponsored by Hotpoint.

Meanwhile, remember it's
Hotpoint trade parade time,

right now at your
Hotpoint dealer.

- So be sure to
visit him and see

the wonderful special
values he's now

offering on all Hotpoint
quality appliances.

Oh, and be sure and get
the special free gift

he has for you just
for parading in, too.

- How about that?

[applause]

- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by
Hotpoint quality appliances.

Remember, Hotpoint changes
your viewpoint automatically.

The part of the
sporting goods salesman

was played by Frank Cady,
the policeman was Ray Hike.

This is Vern Smith speaking.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.