All language subtitles for Teachers (2016) S03E15 Face Your Peers 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 2 0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:08,310 [baby crying] - Please stop crying. 2 00:00:08,379 --> 00:00:10,137 Oh, I know. I know. 3 00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:12,310 Mama's gonna find your pacie. 4 00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:15,137 Oh, it's gotta be here somewhere. 5 00:00:15,206 --> 00:00:17,413 Oh. 6 00:00:17,482 --> 00:00:20,206 It's not a pacie, but it's something. 7 00:00:20,275 --> 00:00:23,344 -Hola, kids. Let's do the guacamole mambo. 8 00:00:23,413 --> 00:00:24,827 [trills tongue] - Jesus. 9 00:00:24,896 --> 00:00:27,310 We gotta turn you on to Swedish death metal. 10 00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:29,241 - ♪ Mash, mash, mash the avocado ♪ 11 00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:31,206 ♪ Dash, dash, dash a little ♪ 12 00:00:31,275 --> 00:00:34,758 ♪ And a wiggle to the left, a wiggle to the right ♪ 13 00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:38,241 ♪ Holy moly, it's guacamole ♪ 14 00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:41,724 ♪ Do the guacamole mambo ♪ 15 00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:44,275 - ♪ Get in line and follow ♪ 16 00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:47,413 ♪ Do the guacamole mambo ♪ 17 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:53,172 ♪ ♪ 18 00:00:53,241 --> 00:00:54,586 - Good morning, everyone. 19 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,896 We have a new student joining us today. 20 00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:58,586 This is Caleb. 21 00:00:58,655 --> 00:01:01,827 Caleb, why don't you tell us a little about your old school? 22 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,275 - Well, it was good. 23 00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:06,827 My old teacher was Ms. Benson, and she was really nice. 24 00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:10,413 Until she choked on a corn dog in the cafeteria and died. 25 00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:13,068 - A corn dog? 26 00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:15,034 Whoa, what a rough way to go. 27 00:01:15,103 --> 00:01:18,137 Well, I'm sure you had many other teachers there 28 00:01:18,206 --> 00:01:19,551 who meant a lot to you. 29 00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:22,413 - Yeah, before her, I had Ms. Humphrey. 30 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,586 And she was my favorite. 31 00:01:24,655 --> 00:01:27,448 But she got hit in the head by a swing. 32 00:01:27,517 --> 00:01:30,448 It made her brain bleed, and her personality changed. 33 00:01:30,517 --> 00:01:32,724 Eventually she died too. 34 00:01:34,241 --> 00:01:37,241 - So your last two teachers died? 35 00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:38,862 - Yup. 36 00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:40,310 - Okay. 37 00:01:42,379 --> 00:01:46,551 Well, thank you, Caleb, for sharing. 38 00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:50,000 Everyone, be sure to give him a pencil if he needs one. 39 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:53,000 And maybe a hug too. 40 00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:58,620 - And pop goes the kernel! 41 00:01:58,689 --> 00:01:59,827 [laughs] 42 00:01:59,896 --> 00:02:01,241 - Wow. 43 00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:03,172 A lot of people would have chosen the popcorn 44 00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:04,896 or the kernel, but you were... 45 00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:06,448 brave enough to tell the whole story. 46 00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:08,344 - [laughs] - Thanks for auditioning. 47 00:02:08,413 --> 00:02:10,551 Uh, we will be in touch. 48 00:02:11,655 --> 00:02:13,517 This one was definitely good. 49 00:02:13,586 --> 00:02:16,275 - Uh, before I go, I just want to say 50 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,689 my daughter and I love listening 51 00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:19,379 to your music together. 52 00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:21,931 I think what you do is really important. 53 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,793 You make people happy. 54 00:02:23,862 --> 00:02:25,620 I'm normally the type of person who could 55 00:02:25,689 --> 00:02:28,172 kick someone's teeth in for jacking my parking spot, 56 00:02:28,241 --> 00:02:30,034 but since listening to you guys, 57 00:02:30,103 --> 00:02:33,862 I've been able to stop, take a breath, 58 00:02:33,931 --> 00:02:36,000 and remember, 59 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,689 "Holy moly, it's guacamole." 60 00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:41,724 - Wow, that--that means a lot. 61 00:02:41,793 --> 00:02:44,241 Not, uh--not a lot of grown-ups get what we do, so... 62 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,758 thank you. 63 00:02:45,827 --> 00:02:47,379 - [chuckles] 64 00:02:47,448 --> 00:02:48,862 - Hey, Deb, stop! Wait. 65 00:02:48,931 --> 00:02:52,034 Um, before you wiggle hop out of here, 66 00:02:52,103 --> 00:02:53,827 could you hang on for one sec? 67 00:02:53,896 --> 00:02:55,000 - Sure, sure. 68 00:02:55,965 --> 00:02:59,379 [all whispering indistinctly] 69 00:02:59,448 --> 00:03:02,724 - Deb, auditions aren't technically over. 70 00:03:02,793 --> 00:03:06,620 But your passion for the group speaks volumes. 71 00:03:06,689 --> 00:03:10,793 We would like to offer you the role of Mary Bop. 72 00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:12,931 - Oh! Oh, oh, my God! 73 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,034 Thank you, Mr. Bop! - Oh, please. 74 00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,586 Please, call me Larry. - Got it. [laughs] 75 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,137 - Hey, and could you do me a favor? 76 00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:23,379 On the way out, could you tell, um, Gloria and Carol 77 00:03:23,448 --> 00:03:25,655 that they did not get it? 78 00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:27,689 I hate to disappoint people. 79 00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:29,517 - Yeah, of course. Okay. 80 00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:30,931 - That was a long piece. - That was great. 81 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,482 - That was gr--commitment. - Yeah, truly. 82 00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:34,448 - 'Cause the middle was terrible. 83 00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:35,586 [rock music] 84 00:03:35,655 --> 00:03:37,413 - And they reinterred my coffin 85 00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:39,655 under ten feet of concrete 86 00:03:39,724 --> 00:03:42,413 to prevent further grave robbery attempts. 87 00:03:42,482 --> 00:03:44,551 - I remain buried next to my wife, 88 00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:46,241 who people say was crazy. 89 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,586 But we don't know if that's historically accurate 90 00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:51,931 or just what men say about women they don't like. 91 00:03:53,862 --> 00:03:56,344 - Well, that's history, everyone. 92 00:03:56,413 --> 00:03:57,896 Time for silent reading. 93 00:04:00,862 --> 00:04:03,448 Oh, I'm so glad we're team teaching this week. 94 00:04:03,517 --> 00:04:05,931 - Me too. [chuckles] 95 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,172 Uh-oh. 96 00:04:07,241 --> 00:04:09,620 Someone's been passing notes. 97 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,482 "Your teacher is pathetic. 98 00:04:14,551 --> 00:04:16,275 "Anyone who acts that sunny all the time 99 00:04:16,344 --> 00:04:18,517 is an insecure loser." 100 00:04:18,586 --> 00:04:20,965 - Whoa, baby. That's a zinger. 101 00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:22,241 - Seriously. 102 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:23,344 But don't feel bad. 103 00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:25,241 They're just idiot kids. 104 00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:26,551 - Oh, I don't feel bad. 105 00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:28,586 The note's about you. 106 00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:30,482 - Don't be ridiculous, Mary Louise. 107 00:04:30,551 --> 00:04:31,655 It's about you. 108 00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:34,310 - Nope, it's obviously about you. 109 00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:36,034 - Except for that it's not. 110 00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,137 It's about you. 111 00:04:37,206 --> 00:04:38,655 - Oh, come on, Caroline. 112 00:04:38,724 --> 00:04:40,551 You're the one who's got things to be insecure about. 113 00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:42,241 You got dumped in a parking lot. 114 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:45,000 - And you didn't get fingered until last year! 115 00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,448 - [gasps] [student clears throat] 116 00:04:49,241 --> 00:04:52,758 Who here wrote this note about Ms. Watson? 117 00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:56,206 'Cause it's really not nice. 118 00:04:56,275 --> 00:04:58,206 [rock music] 119 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,448 - Are you busy? - Yeah, actually, 120 00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:08,137 these grades are due at noon. - Great. 121 00:05:08,206 --> 00:05:11,620 I have a child in my class whose last two teachers died. 122 00:05:11,689 --> 00:05:13,137 Isn't that crazy? 123 00:05:13,206 --> 00:05:15,655 It's got me thinking about my mortality. 124 00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,689 - Are you talking about Caleb? 125 00:05:17,758 --> 00:05:19,310 I had a premonition about him. 126 00:05:19,379 --> 00:05:21,275 I'm mildly clairvoyant. 127 00:05:21,344 --> 00:05:23,034 - Mildly clairvoyant? 128 00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:24,206 - I have visions. 129 00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:26,586 And I recently had one about you and Caleb. 130 00:05:26,655 --> 00:05:28,344 It--it wasn't completely clear, 131 00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:30,448 but there was some kind of ending. 132 00:05:30,517 --> 00:05:32,517 A break in the continuity of things. 133 00:05:32,586 --> 00:05:35,344 A--an expiration. A terminus. 134 00:05:35,413 --> 00:05:36,793 - That sounds like death. 135 00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:39,413 - Well, visions are always open to interpretation. 136 00:05:39,482 --> 00:05:40,620 - [sighs] 137 00:05:40,689 --> 00:05:43,379 - But yeah, it's definitely death. 138 00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:45,413 [vending machine clangs] 139 00:05:45,482 --> 00:05:47,448 [door squeaks] 140 00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:49,689 [hip-hop music playing] 141 00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:53,724 all: ♪ Aww, shake your sandwich ♪ 142 00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,896 ♪ Shake, shake your sandwich ♪ 143 00:05:55,965 --> 00:06:00,379 ♪ Turkey, lettuce, cheese, and mayo ♪ 144 00:06:00,448 --> 00:06:04,758 ♪ Mix it all together and say, "Hey, yo" ♪ 145 00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:07,551 ♪ Hey, yo ♪ 146 00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:10,000 - [mimics DJ scratching] 147 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,413 It had moments. Let's take a five. 148 00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:15,241 [sighs] 149 00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,206 - When we get back, I've got a new spread move I wanna try 150 00:06:17,275 --> 00:06:19,689 for "What's the Difference Between Jam and Jelly?" 151 00:06:19,758 --> 00:06:21,068 - You're better than that. 152 00:06:21,137 --> 00:06:23,103 - These rehearsals have been so fun. 153 00:06:23,172 --> 00:06:24,689 I've been happy every day this week, 154 00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:26,034 and that has literally never happened. 155 00:06:26,103 --> 00:06:28,344 - Well, your week's about to get even better. 156 00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:29,655 - We just booked a gig. 157 00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,689 We're about to wiggle pop your cherry. 158 00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,379 - Get out! Where? 159 00:06:33,448 --> 00:06:34,379 - Give me a wiggle beat. 160 00:06:34,448 --> 00:06:35,862 [both beatboxing] 161 00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:38,344 Fillmore Elementary! 162 00:06:38,413 --> 00:06:41,275 [dramatic music] 163 00:06:43,517 --> 00:06:44,413 - Uh-uh. Uh... 164 00:06:44,482 --> 00:06:46,620 - Deb? Is everything okay? 165 00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:47,586 - Do you really think that Fillmore 166 00:06:47,655 --> 00:06:48,931 is the best place for us? 167 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,931 I mean, I hear that they have a ton of, uh, 168 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,827 Crips and Bloods activity there. 169 00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:53,896 - You know, those are West Coast, 170 00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:55,551 and it's an elementary school. 171 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:57,551 - Oh, and I hear that the teachers there sell oxy 172 00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:58,896 at drop off/pick up. 173 00:06:58,965 --> 00:07:00,620 - Hey, Deb. - Hmm? 174 00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:02,965 - It seems like you're trying to back out. 175 00:07:03,034 --> 00:07:04,862 - No, no. I just can't go there. 176 00:07:04,931 --> 00:07:06,965 I love being a Wiggle Bop. 177 00:07:07,034 --> 00:07:09,310 - Then you wanna stay one? 178 00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,551 So we have a dress rehearsal tomorrow at 1:00 179 00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:13,413 before the show. 180 00:07:13,482 --> 00:07:14,965 Are you in? 181 00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:20,517 - Absolutely. 182 00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:21,655 Mary Bop is in. 183 00:07:21,724 --> 00:07:23,103 [rock music] 184 00:07:23,172 --> 00:07:26,344 - Have fun at phys ed, my little gym-thusiasts. 185 00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:29,275 Oh, look. Another note. 186 00:07:29,344 --> 00:07:30,793 Probably about you again. 187 00:07:30,862 --> 00:07:32,172 - Please. You're so dumb, 188 00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:33,965 you didn't know the last one was about you. 189 00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:35,275 - I'm not dumb. 190 00:07:35,344 --> 00:07:36,862 - You think Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus 191 00:07:36,931 --> 00:07:38,448 are two different people. 192 00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:40,793 - I hope your fragile ego can take this. 193 00:07:40,862 --> 00:07:42,551 And they are two different people. 194 00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,620 They just have similar teeth. 195 00:07:46,551 --> 00:07:48,310 "I bet your teacher wonders 196 00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:50,965 how anyone could ever love her." 197 00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:54,689 both: It's me. 198 00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:56,275 - I do wonder that. 199 00:07:56,344 --> 00:07:58,620 I know I need therapy, but my family only believes 200 00:07:58,689 --> 00:08:00,655 in medicating with a dry chardonnay. 201 00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:02,482 - I'm a weirdo. I know I am. 202 00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:06,000 You guys are really nice to me, but I'm a total weirdo. 203 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,310 It's me. 204 00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:08,413 I'm unlovable. 205 00:08:08,482 --> 00:08:09,724 - No, it's me. 206 00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:11,103 I'm unlovable. 207 00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:13,310 What kind of sick freak makes mosaics 208 00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:16,413 out of HDTV power couples using spare buttons? 209 00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:17,689 - That's nothing. 210 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:18,827 I have special voices for the two snails 211 00:08:18,896 --> 00:08:20,000 that live in my garden. 212 00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:21,206 [with high voice] One's like this. 213 00:08:21,275 --> 00:08:23,000 [with low voice] And one's like this. 214 00:08:26,551 --> 00:08:28,689 - I'm sure a lot of people do that. 215 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:33,068 - How dare this kid pass judgment on us? 216 00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:37,517 We gotta find out which little butthole wrote this note. 217 00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:40,517 [dramatic music] 218 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,620 ♪ ♪ 219 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,344 - Mr. Pearson? - [screams] 220 00:08:44,413 --> 00:08:46,000 [breathing heavily] 221 00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,103 Don't sneak up on people like that, Caleb. 222 00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:51,000 - Sorry, but I just wanted to give you this. 223 00:08:51,068 --> 00:08:52,517 I made it special for you. 224 00:08:52,586 --> 00:08:54,620 - Oh, how nice. 225 00:08:54,689 --> 00:08:55,862 You can just leave it there. 226 00:08:55,931 --> 00:08:57,448 - But I want you to look at it now. 227 00:08:57,517 --> 00:08:59,482 - Mm. 228 00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:00,793 [groans] 229 00:09:00,862 --> 00:09:02,344 [shouts] [thuds] 230 00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:04,517 [groaning] 231 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,586 - It's you and me. 232 00:09:07,655 --> 00:09:09,586 - Is that a corn dog in my hand? 233 00:09:09,655 --> 00:09:11,689 ♪ ♪ 234 00:09:11,758 --> 00:09:14,241 [crowd cheering] 235 00:09:14,310 --> 00:09:16,310 - What is so special about these losers? 236 00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:17,965 They're like a low-rent "Yo Gabba Gabba!" 237 00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:20,413 - They're local celebrities, Chelsea. 238 00:09:20,482 --> 00:09:21,862 - Hey, guys. 239 00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:23,689 - Why are you dressed like Mr. Robot? 240 00:09:23,758 --> 00:09:25,206 - No reason. 241 00:09:25,275 --> 00:09:27,344 Hey, Cecelia, I have a doctor's appointment right now. 242 00:09:27,413 --> 00:09:28,551 Can you watch my class? 243 00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:29,586 - Yeah, sure. [horn honks] 244 00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:30,551 - Thanks. - [screams] 245 00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,275 - Gotta go. 246 00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:34,448 [crowd cheering] 247 00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:37,137 [horn honks] 248 00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:38,517 - Hey, guys. 249 00:09:38,586 --> 00:09:39,862 - Hey. 250 00:09:39,931 --> 00:09:42,862 [sultry music] 251 00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:46,137 ♪ ♪ 252 00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:49,758 - Ding-dong, the witch is wet. 253 00:09:49,827 --> 00:09:51,448 - Hi, Larry! 254 00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:52,862 - Oh! [laughs] 255 00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:55,103 - Hey, we're not signing stuff today, guys, okay? 256 00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:56,586 Nobody--nobody touch. Nobody touch. 257 00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:58,689 - This rocks. 258 00:09:58,758 --> 00:09:59,758 - What are you doing? 259 00:09:59,827 --> 00:10:01,758 - Stretching out my mouth. 260 00:10:01,827 --> 00:10:04,965 [percussive music] 261 00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:06,344 - Oh, did your appointment get canceled? 262 00:10:06,413 --> 00:10:07,724 Great. 263 00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:09,068 That gives me time to go through the garbage 264 00:10:09,137 --> 00:10:10,896 for my co-op's trash to table dinner tonight. 265 00:10:10,965 --> 00:10:14,034 Now you can watch your class. 266 00:10:14,103 --> 00:10:15,379 - Balls. 267 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,827 ♪ ♪ 268 00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:19,586 - Five, six, seven, and-- 269 00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:21,896 - Okay, I'm here. From the top. 270 00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:24,310 - Deb, where have you been? - Traffic. Let's do this. 271 00:10:24,379 --> 00:10:26,137 - Whoa, Deb, Larry Bop is supposed to be 272 00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:28,241 in the front of the line. - Well, you snooze, you lose. 273 00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:31,034 One, two, three. ♪ Do the guacamole mambo ♪ 274 00:10:31,103 --> 00:10:33,275 Something about avocado! Something, something, lemon. 275 00:10:33,344 --> 00:10:34,931 Lemon, this, this, chicken, chicken, chicken. 276 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,551 And great. We all know what comes next. 277 00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:39,517 Let's take five. - We just started. 278 00:10:39,586 --> 00:10:41,827 - Well, I have to pump. 279 00:10:41,896 --> 00:10:46,724 Otherwise we'll be doing the breast milk boogie. 280 00:10:49,517 --> 00:10:51,137 - Did she say, "Chicken dick, chicken dick," 281 00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:52,482 when she was going in the circle? 282 00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:56,172 [rock music] 283 00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:57,241 all: Oh! 284 00:10:57,310 --> 00:10:59,931 - Frankie, step away from the Bunsen! 285 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,758 You could have set the room on fire. 286 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,689 - But you always say someone should burn 287 00:11:03,758 --> 00:11:04,827 this dump to the ground. 288 00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:06,965 - [scoffs] That's hyperbole. 289 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,965 Now, everyone listen up for the instructions 290 00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:11,000 for the actual experiment. 291 00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:14,103 "You will turn on your Bunsen burners safely. 292 00:11:14,172 --> 00:11:16,137 "Using tongs, pick up one magnesium ribbon 293 00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:17,344 and hold it over the flame." 294 00:11:17,413 --> 00:11:18,482 Yada yada yada. 295 00:11:18,551 --> 00:11:20,413 Observe the results. I'll be right back. 296 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,758 And no more do-it-yourself flamethrowers. 297 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,517 [percussive music] 298 00:11:29,586 --> 00:11:31,068 ♪ ♪ 299 00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:33,000 - How long are we gonna talk about this? 300 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,689 - They can't be the same person. 301 00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:36,172 Miley Cyrus has brown hair, 302 00:11:36,241 --> 00:11:37,862 and Hannah Montana has blonde hair. 303 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,689 - It's a wig, Mary Louise. 304 00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:40,793 - On a child? 305 00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:42,551 I don't think so. 306 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:45,275 ♪ ♪ 307 00:11:45,344 --> 00:11:48,448 all: ♪ I said shimmy shake ♪ 308 00:11:48,517 --> 00:11:50,965 ♪ Carrot cake ♪ 309 00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:53,655 ♪ Shimmy shake ♪ 310 00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:55,310 ♪ Carrot cake ♪ 311 00:11:55,379 --> 00:11:57,655 - Deb. Deb! 312 00:11:57,724 --> 00:11:59,517 - Nice. 313 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,862 Where's Deb? - Um-- 314 00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:02,068 - Don't lie for her! 315 00:12:02,137 --> 00:12:05,275 [rock music] 316 00:12:05,344 --> 00:12:08,931 ♪ ♪ 317 00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:13,034 - Frankie, where's your emo swoop? 318 00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:14,965 - I don't know. 319 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,586 - Give it to me. 320 00:12:17,827 --> 00:12:20,724 No more flamethrowers! 321 00:12:20,793 --> 00:12:22,655 - What kind of socks are those? 322 00:12:22,724 --> 00:12:25,172 [percussive music] 323 00:12:26,034 --> 00:12:30,241 - They're compression socks for circulation. 324 00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,344 And that was very insensitive. 325 00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:34,275 [spooky music] 326 00:12:34,344 --> 00:12:35,689 - Mr. Pearson. 327 00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:36,689 - [groans] 328 00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:38,620 ♪ ♪ 329 00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:39,655 - Mr. Pearson. 330 00:12:39,724 --> 00:12:41,034 ♪ ♪ 331 00:12:41,103 --> 00:12:42,034 - Oh, my God. - Mr. Pearson. 332 00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:44,551 [both scream] 333 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,620 - Watch it! I was running with scissors. 334 00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:49,551 - [gasping] 335 00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:50,724 [yelps] 336 00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:52,344 - Be careful, Mr. Pearson. 337 00:12:52,413 --> 00:12:54,931 I don't wanna lose another teacher. 338 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,034 ♪ ♪ 339 00:12:57,103 --> 00:13:00,517 - Someone here wrote some very heinous notes. 340 00:13:00,586 --> 00:13:03,827 - And hurtful. - Hurtful and heinous notes. 341 00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:06,793 And until someone comes forward to claim responsibility 342 00:13:06,862 --> 00:13:09,724 for them, no one will leave this room. 343 00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:13,413 And that includes missing the Wiggle Bops performance. 344 00:13:13,482 --> 00:13:16,379 all: No! 345 00:13:16,448 --> 00:13:17,482 - We'll wait. 346 00:13:17,551 --> 00:13:20,448 [quirky music] 347 00:13:20,517 --> 00:13:23,448 ♪ ♪ 348 00:13:23,517 --> 00:13:25,482 Uh-uh-uh! 349 00:13:25,551 --> 00:13:27,137 No bathroom either. 350 00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:31,103 If you gotta go, you can use this. 351 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,517 - [sighs] 352 00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:36,689 Now, where's my wig? 353 00:13:36,758 --> 00:13:37,862 - ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me ♪ 354 00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:39,793 Whoa, Deb. Wow. 355 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,068 You're actually here. 356 00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:42,413 You know what? 357 00:13:42,482 --> 00:13:43,586 You gotta get your head in the game. 358 00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:44,689 - Yeah, I know. 359 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:45,655 I'm really sorry about earlier. 360 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:46,758 - Thank you. 361 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:47,862 I'm gonna 10-200. 362 00:13:47,931 --> 00:13:50,137 That's showbiz for pooping. 363 00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,896 - Ew. [door opens] 364 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,896 - Larry Bop. 365 00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:55,206 [giggles] 366 00:13:55,275 --> 00:13:58,206 Hey there, you furry little Muppet. 367 00:13:58,275 --> 00:14:02,137 Can you tell me how to get to Sex With Me Street? 368 00:14:02,206 --> 00:14:04,448 - Uh, yeah, I can. 369 00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:05,689 - Oh! 370 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,103 They make you tuck when you perform? 371 00:14:07,172 --> 00:14:08,620 Oh, I get it. Kids. 372 00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:10,172 Let's get you untucked. 373 00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:11,931 - Um, stop! I don't like you like that! 374 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,931 Leave! - Are you effing serious? 375 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,482 - Uh-huh. 376 00:14:15,551 --> 00:14:17,137 - Okay, well, you're the one who asked for my number 377 00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:18,724 and then texted me the emoji of the wind-blowing lady 378 00:14:18,793 --> 00:14:19,724 and a rooster! 379 00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:23,137 [door opens] 380 00:14:23,206 --> 00:14:26,896 - Well, these shoes are toast. - You scumbag. 381 00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:28,482 I'm unprofessional? 382 00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:30,137 You tried to have sex with a teacher. 383 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:31,275 - I have no idea what you're talking about. 384 00:14:31,344 --> 00:14:32,724 - [scoffs] - And by the way, 385 00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:33,965 you might have a big dick, 386 00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:36,344 but you have a weird woman's body. 387 00:14:36,413 --> 00:14:37,655 Wait, Deb? 388 00:14:37,724 --> 00:14:39,344 - Wait, you know Deb? 389 00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:42,620 - Wait, are you a Wiggle Bop? - Wait, do you teach here? 390 00:14:42,689 --> 00:14:44,103 Why didn't you tell us? 391 00:14:44,172 --> 00:14:46,206 [percussive music] 392 00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:48,137 - I can't do this anymore. 393 00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:50,241 I'm sorry, Larry Bop. I quit. 394 00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:55,793 [suspenseful music] 395 00:14:55,862 --> 00:15:00,310 ♪ ♪ 396 00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:02,517 - Toby? - [screams] 397 00:15:02,586 --> 00:15:04,275 - What are you doing? 398 00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:05,689 I saw your class walking themselves 399 00:15:05,758 --> 00:15:07,068 down to the assembly. 400 00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:08,620 - I am kill-proofing my room. 401 00:15:08,689 --> 00:15:10,620 I can't be around Caleb. 402 00:15:10,689 --> 00:15:13,482 Death is coming for me, but I'm gonna stop it. 403 00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,551 - If you're destined to die, you can't avoid it. 404 00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:16,724 Death won't be cheated. 405 00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:18,137 - But I'm not ready. 406 00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:21,241 My love life is in shambles, I'm a glorified sub, 407 00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:23,896 and I've never even cracked open my home pickling kit. 408 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,448 - Toby, if Caleb is your agent of death, 409 00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:29,448 you should just accept it and enjoy the time you have left. 410 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:31,965 - Is that meant to be comforting? 411 00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:32,965 [quirky music] 412 00:15:33,034 --> 00:15:34,448 - We're waiting. 413 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,896 ♪ ♪ 414 00:15:37,965 --> 00:15:39,689 - [crying] 415 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:44,000 - Don't do this. - [crying] 416 00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:48,413 [sniffles] 417 00:15:48,482 --> 00:15:49,793 - We're waiting. 418 00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:51,379 - [sighs] 419 00:15:52,137 --> 00:15:54,000 - Look what I found in the hallway. 420 00:15:54,068 --> 00:15:55,310 - I don't wanna hear it, Chelsea. 421 00:15:55,379 --> 00:15:56,655 I'm embarrassed enough. 422 00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:57,965 - I am not saying anything. 423 00:15:58,034 --> 00:15:59,206 You had a psychotic break. 424 00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:01,241 It happens, like, every day to Kanye, 425 00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:02,896 and he still gets rewarded by getting to spend holidays 426 00:16:02,965 --> 00:16:04,241 with Kris Jenner. 427 00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,551 - Actually, this is the healthiest thing 428 00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:07,586 I've done for myself in months. 429 00:16:07,655 --> 00:16:08,724 - Okay. 430 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,034 Maybe you do need help. 431 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,482 - I know it's weird. 432 00:16:11,551 --> 00:16:13,379 But those dumb-ass kid songs make me happy, 433 00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:15,896 and they really helped me bond with Hag. 434 00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:18,793 I didn't tell you guys because I didn't wanna ruin 435 00:16:18,862 --> 00:16:20,413 my cool-girl image. 436 00:16:20,482 --> 00:16:21,517 - Oh, Deb. 437 00:16:21,586 --> 00:16:23,310 You do not have to worry about that. 438 00:16:23,379 --> 00:16:25,034 None of us think you're cool. 439 00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:26,965 And we won't judge you. 440 00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:28,448 You guys didn't judge me when I confessed 441 00:16:28,517 --> 00:16:30,448 I didn't know what an adverb was. 442 00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:31,896 - Mm-hmm. 443 00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:33,413 - We will always support you. 444 00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:35,827 - You're right. I shouldn't have quit. 445 00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,724 I love it. 446 00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:40,034 - The show does not start for five minutes. 447 00:16:40,103 --> 00:16:43,241 You can probably make it if you go...fastly. 448 00:16:44,413 --> 00:16:45,517 - Wow. 449 00:16:45,586 --> 00:16:47,172 - In the tradition of the Greeks 450 00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:51,689 at the theater of Dionysus, give-- 451 00:16:51,758 --> 00:16:54,310 [dramatic music] 452 00:16:54,379 --> 00:16:57,172 Deb. You're here. 453 00:16:57,241 --> 00:16:59,965 - No. Mary Bop's here. 454 00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:01,965 That is, if you'll still have her. 455 00:17:02,034 --> 00:17:05,482 ♪ ♪ 456 00:17:05,551 --> 00:17:06,931 - Get in here, you crazy bop. 457 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,862 [all laughing] 458 00:17:08,931 --> 00:17:10,379 [upbeat music playing] 459 00:17:10,448 --> 00:17:12,275 [cheers and applause] - Whoo! 460 00:17:12,344 --> 00:17:15,275 all: ♪ Mash, mash, mash the avocado ♪ 461 00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:17,517 ♪ Dash, dash, dash a little ♪ 462 00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:20,965 ♪ And a wiggle to the left, A wiggle to the right ♪ 463 00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:24,517 ♪ Holy moly, it's guacamole ♪ 464 00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:27,241 ♪ Do the guacamole mambo ♪ 465 00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:28,758 - Can you believe it? 466 00:17:28,827 --> 00:17:30,000 - I know. 467 00:17:30,068 --> 00:17:31,413 I have no idea how he dances around 468 00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:33,206 with that monster dick. 469 00:17:33,275 --> 00:17:34,793 - I was talking about Deb. 470 00:17:34,862 --> 00:17:36,379 She's amazing up there. 471 00:17:36,448 --> 00:17:37,965 - Oh, yeah. Totally. 472 00:17:38,034 --> 00:17:43,034 ♪ ♪ 473 00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,586 [cheers and applause] 474 00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:50,448 - Still waiting. 475 00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:53,758 [upbeat music] 476 00:17:53,827 --> 00:17:56,655 - Now I need a teacher volunteer 477 00:17:56,724 --> 00:17:59,758 for a super special magic trick. 478 00:17:59,827 --> 00:18:03,172 How about...you? 479 00:18:03,241 --> 00:18:05,586 Yes, you, silly. Get on up here. 480 00:18:05,655 --> 00:18:08,172 [applause] 481 00:18:08,241 --> 00:18:11,137 - Hey! Now, what's your name? 482 00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:12,758 - Mr. Pearson. 483 00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:13,862 - [laughs] 484 00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:14,862 - Off you go. Go. - Okay. 485 00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:16,275 - Go, go. 486 00:18:16,344 --> 00:18:18,793 And now I just need one more volunteer. 487 00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:22,482 How about somebody in Mr. Pearson's class? 488 00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:23,413 Huh? Huh? 489 00:18:23,482 --> 00:18:25,068 Oh, yeah! You! 490 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,137 - Yes! 491 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,172 - Get on up here. - Oh, no! 492 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,517 No, I can't do this! 493 00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:30,448 I'm sorry. I can't do this. 494 00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:34,068 - What's your name? - Caleb. 495 00:18:34,137 --> 00:18:36,448 - Oh, do you like magic, Caleb? 496 00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:39,068 - Of course he does, because everybody likes magic. 497 00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,206 Right? - Not me! No! 498 00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:42,000 I-I do not like magic! 499 00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:43,586 It's for witches and heathens! 500 00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:47,241 - You're going to stick this sword through the box 501 00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:49,586 with Mr. Pearson inside! 502 00:18:49,655 --> 00:18:50,827 - No, please! 503 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,103 - Let's count him in on "Whee." 504 00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:56,103 One, a-two, a... 505 00:18:56,172 --> 00:18:57,344 all: Whee! 506 00:18:57,413 --> 00:19:00,827 - [screaming] 507 00:19:00,896 --> 00:19:02,413 [all gasping] 508 00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:04,379 I'm dead! I'm dead! 509 00:19:04,448 --> 00:19:05,724 I died! - You're not dead, Toby. 510 00:19:05,793 --> 00:19:07,172 You're fine. 511 00:19:07,241 --> 00:19:09,448 - It is so embarrassing that you just fell off the stage. 512 00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:11,103 - I guess my vision didn't mean death. 513 00:19:11,172 --> 00:19:13,068 It was just a tragic end to a magic trick. 514 00:19:13,137 --> 00:19:16,000 - I think I hurt my leg. 515 00:19:16,068 --> 00:19:18,620 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 516 00:19:20,758 --> 00:19:21,793 [bell rings] 517 00:19:21,862 --> 00:19:24,586 [dramatic music] 518 00:19:24,655 --> 00:19:28,137 - It's 3:00, so legally we have to let you go, 519 00:19:28,206 --> 00:19:29,551 or it's considered kidnapping. 520 00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:32,655 - Do not think this is over. 521 00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:39,068 - Hey, I'm sorry, but if an eight-year-old 522 00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:42,620 calling you an insecure loser can make you openly cry, 523 00:19:42,689 --> 00:19:45,689 then maybe there's something deeper going on. 524 00:19:46,275 --> 00:19:47,862 - You're right, Ronan. 525 00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:51,068 - Yeah, you've really put things into perspective. 526 00:19:53,344 --> 00:19:56,655 - Wait. Insecure loser? 527 00:19:56,724 --> 00:19:58,862 How would he know that was on the notes? 528 00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,517 [dramatic music] 529 00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:02,793 That little asshole wrote the notes, didn't he? 530 00:20:02,862 --> 00:20:05,241 - Yeah. Ronan, wait! 531 00:20:05,310 --> 00:20:07,206 Tell me what I can do to do better. 532 00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:08,793 - Oh, my God. 533 00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:10,827 [rock music] 534 00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:12,758 - ♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪ 535 00:20:12,827 --> 00:20:15,000 ♪ La-la, la-la ♪ 536 00:20:15,068 --> 00:20:17,241 ♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪ 537 00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:19,689 ♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪ 538 00:20:19,758 --> 00:20:21,068 ♪ La-la, la-la ♪ 539 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,206 - ♪ I'm gonna teach ya ♪ 540 00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,103 - ♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪ 541 00:20:24,172 --> 00:20:25,620 ♪ La-la, la-la ♪ 542 00:20:25,689 --> 00:20:27,034 - ♪ Give you what you need, ah ♪ 543 00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:28,793 - ♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪ 544 00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:30,103 ♪ La-la, la-la ♪ 545 00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:31,655 - ♪ Said I'm gonna teach ya ♪ 546 00:20:31,724 --> 00:20:34,034 - ♪ La-la ♪ 37048

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