Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:08,310
[baby crying]
- Please stop crying.
2
00:00:08,379 --> 00:00:10,137
Oh, I know.
I know.
3
00:00:10,206 --> 00:00:12,310
Mama's gonna find your pacie.
4
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:15,137
Oh, it's gotta be
here somewhere.
5
00:00:15,206 --> 00:00:17,413
Oh.
6
00:00:17,482 --> 00:00:20,206
It's not a pacie,
but it's something.
7
00:00:20,275 --> 00:00:23,344
-Hola, kids.
Let's do the guacamole mambo.
8
00:00:23,413 --> 00:00:24,827
[trills tongue]
- Jesus.
9
00:00:24,896 --> 00:00:27,310
We gotta turn you on
to Swedish death metal.
10
00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:29,241
- ♪ Mash, mash,
mash the avocado ♪
11
00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:31,206
♪ Dash, dash, dash a little ♪
12
00:00:31,275 --> 00:00:34,758
♪ And a wiggle to the left,
a wiggle to the right ♪
13
00:00:34,827 --> 00:00:38,241
♪ Holy moly, it's guacamole ♪
14
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:41,724
♪ Do the guacamole mambo ♪
15
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:44,275
- ♪ Get in line and follow ♪
16
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:47,413
♪ Do the guacamole mambo ♪
17
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:53,172
♪ ♪
18
00:00:53,241 --> 00:00:54,586
- Good morning, everyone.
19
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,896
We have a new student
joining us today.
20
00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:58,586
This is Caleb.
21
00:00:58,655 --> 00:01:01,827
Caleb, why don't you tell us
a little about your old school?
22
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,275
- Well, it was good.
23
00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:06,827
My old teacher was Ms. Benson,
and she was really nice.
24
00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:10,413
Until she choked on a corn dog
in the cafeteria and died.
25
00:01:11,448 --> 00:01:13,068
- A corn dog?
26
00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:15,034
Whoa, what a rough way to go.
27
00:01:15,103 --> 00:01:18,137
Well, I'm sure you had
many other teachers there
28
00:01:18,206 --> 00:01:19,551
who meant a lot to you.
29
00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:22,413
- Yeah, before her,
I had Ms. Humphrey.
30
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,586
And she was my favorite.
31
00:01:24,655 --> 00:01:27,448
But she got hit
in the head by a swing.
32
00:01:27,517 --> 00:01:30,448
It made her brain bleed,
and her personality changed.
33
00:01:30,517 --> 00:01:32,724
Eventually she died too.
34
00:01:34,241 --> 00:01:37,241
- So your last two
teachers died?
35
00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:38,862
- Yup.
36
00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:40,310
- Okay.
37
00:01:42,379 --> 00:01:46,551
Well, thank you,
Caleb, for sharing.
38
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:50,000
Everyone, be sure to give him
a pencil if he needs one.
39
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:53,000
And maybe a hug too.
40
00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:58,620
- And pop goes the kernel!
41
00:01:58,689 --> 00:01:59,827
[laughs]
42
00:01:59,896 --> 00:02:01,241
- Wow.
43
00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:03,172
A lot of people would have
chosen the popcorn
44
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:04,896
or the kernel,
but you were...
45
00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:06,448
brave enough
to tell the whole story.
46
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:08,344
- [laughs]
- Thanks for auditioning.
47
00:02:08,413 --> 00:02:10,551
Uh, we will be in touch.
48
00:02:11,655 --> 00:02:13,517
This one was definitely good.
49
00:02:13,586 --> 00:02:16,275
- Uh, before I go,
I just want to say
50
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,689
my daughter and I
love listening
51
00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:19,379
to your music together.
52
00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:21,931
I think what you do
is really important.
53
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,793
You make people happy.
54
00:02:23,862 --> 00:02:25,620
I'm normally the type
of person who could
55
00:02:25,689 --> 00:02:28,172
kick someone's teeth in
for jacking my parking spot,
56
00:02:28,241 --> 00:02:30,034
but since listening
to you guys,
57
00:02:30,103 --> 00:02:33,862
I've been able to stop,
take a breath,
58
00:02:33,931 --> 00:02:36,000
and remember,
59
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,689
"Holy moly, it's guacamole."
60
00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:41,724
- Wow, that--that means a lot.
61
00:02:41,793 --> 00:02:44,241
Not, uh--not a lot of grown-ups
get what we do, so...
62
00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,758
thank you.
63
00:02:45,827 --> 00:02:47,379
- [chuckles]
64
00:02:47,448 --> 00:02:48,862
- Hey, Deb, stop!
Wait.
65
00:02:48,931 --> 00:02:52,034
Um, before you wiggle hop
out of here,
66
00:02:52,103 --> 00:02:53,827
could you hang on for one sec?
67
00:02:53,896 --> 00:02:55,000
- Sure, sure.
68
00:02:55,965 --> 00:02:59,379
[all whispering indistinctly]
69
00:02:59,448 --> 00:03:02,724
- Deb, auditions
aren't technically over.
70
00:03:02,793 --> 00:03:06,620
But your passion for the group
speaks volumes.
71
00:03:06,689 --> 00:03:10,793
We would like to offer you
the role of Mary Bop.
72
00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:12,931
- Oh!
Oh, oh, my God!
73
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,034
Thank you, Mr. Bop!
- Oh, please.
74
00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,586
Please, call me Larry.
- Got it. [laughs]
75
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,137
- Hey, and could you
do me a favor?
76
00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:23,379
On the way out, could you tell,
um, Gloria and Carol
77
00:03:23,448 --> 00:03:25,655
that they did not get it?
78
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:27,689
I hate to disappoint people.
79
00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:29,517
- Yeah, of course.
Okay.
80
00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:30,931
- That was a long piece.
- That was great.
81
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,482
- That was gr--commitment.
- Yeah, truly.
82
00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:34,448
- 'Cause the middle
was terrible.
83
00:03:34,517 --> 00:03:35,586
[rock music]
84
00:03:35,655 --> 00:03:37,413
- And they reinterred my coffin
85
00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:39,655
under ten feet of concrete
86
00:03:39,724 --> 00:03:42,413
to prevent further
grave robbery attempts.
87
00:03:42,482 --> 00:03:44,551
- I remain buried
next to my wife,
88
00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:46,241
who people say was crazy.
89
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,586
But we don't know if that's
historically accurate
90
00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:51,931
or just what men say
about women they don't like.
91
00:03:53,862 --> 00:03:56,344
- Well, that's history,
everyone.
92
00:03:56,413 --> 00:03:57,896
Time for silent reading.
93
00:04:00,862 --> 00:04:03,448
Oh, I'm so glad we're
team teaching this week.
94
00:04:03,517 --> 00:04:05,931
- Me too.
[chuckles]
95
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,172
Uh-oh.
96
00:04:07,241 --> 00:04:09,620
Someone's been passing notes.
97
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,482
"Your teacher is pathetic.
98
00:04:14,551 --> 00:04:16,275
"Anyone who acts that sunny
all the time
99
00:04:16,344 --> 00:04:18,517
is an insecure loser."
100
00:04:18,586 --> 00:04:20,965
- Whoa, baby.
That's a zinger.
101
00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:22,241
- Seriously.
102
00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:23,344
But don't feel bad.
103
00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:25,241
They're just idiot kids.
104
00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:26,551
- Oh, I don't feel bad.
105
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:28,586
The note's about you.
106
00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:30,482
- Don't be ridiculous,
Mary Louise.
107
00:04:30,551 --> 00:04:31,655
It's about you.
108
00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:34,310
- Nope,
it's obviously about you.
109
00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:36,034
- Except for that it's not.
110
00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,137
It's about you.
111
00:04:37,206 --> 00:04:38,655
- Oh, come on, Caroline.
112
00:04:38,724 --> 00:04:40,551
You're the one who's got things
to be insecure about.
113
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:42,241
You got dumped
in a parking lot.
114
00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:45,000
- And you didn't get fingered
until last year!
115
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:47,448
- [gasps]
[student clears throat]
116
00:04:49,241 --> 00:04:52,758
Who here wrote this note
about Ms. Watson?
117
00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:56,206
'Cause it's really not nice.
118
00:04:56,275 --> 00:04:58,206
[rock music]
119
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,448
- Are you busy?
- Yeah, actually,
120
00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:08,137
these grades are due at noon.
- Great.
121
00:05:08,206 --> 00:05:11,620
I have a child in my class
whose last two teachers died.
122
00:05:11,689 --> 00:05:13,137
Isn't that crazy?
123
00:05:13,206 --> 00:05:15,655
It's got me thinking
about my mortality.
124
00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,689
- Are you talking about Caleb?
125
00:05:17,758 --> 00:05:19,310
I had a premonition about him.
126
00:05:19,379 --> 00:05:21,275
I'm mildly clairvoyant.
127
00:05:21,344 --> 00:05:23,034
- Mildly clairvoyant?
128
00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:24,206
- I have visions.
129
00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:26,586
And I recently had one
about you and Caleb.
130
00:05:26,655 --> 00:05:28,344
It--it wasn't completely clear,
131
00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:30,448
but there was
some kind of ending.
132
00:05:30,517 --> 00:05:32,517
A break in the continuity
of things.
133
00:05:32,586 --> 00:05:35,344
A--an expiration.
A terminus.
134
00:05:35,413 --> 00:05:36,793
- That sounds like death.
135
00:05:36,862 --> 00:05:39,413
- Well, visions are always
open to interpretation.
136
00:05:39,482 --> 00:05:40,620
- [sighs]
137
00:05:40,689 --> 00:05:43,379
- But yeah,
it's definitely death.
138
00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:45,413
[vending machine clangs]
139
00:05:45,482 --> 00:05:47,448
[door squeaks]
140
00:05:47,517 --> 00:05:49,689
[hip-hop music playing]
141
00:05:49,758 --> 00:05:53,724
all: ♪ Aww,
shake your sandwich ♪
142
00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,896
♪ Shake, shake your sandwich ♪
143
00:05:55,965 --> 00:06:00,379
♪ Turkey, lettuce,
cheese, and mayo ♪
144
00:06:00,448 --> 00:06:04,758
♪ Mix it all together
and say, "Hey, yo" ♪
145
00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:07,551
♪ Hey, yo ♪
146
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:10,000
- [mimics DJ scratching]
147
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,413
It had moments.
Let's take a five.
148
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:15,241
[sighs]
149
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,206
- When we get back, I've got
a new spread move I wanna try
150
00:06:17,275 --> 00:06:19,689
for "What's the Difference
Between Jam and Jelly?"
151
00:06:19,758 --> 00:06:21,068
- You're better than that.
152
00:06:21,137 --> 00:06:23,103
- These rehearsals
have been so fun.
153
00:06:23,172 --> 00:06:24,689
I've been happy
every day this week,
154
00:06:24,758 --> 00:06:26,034
and that has literally
never happened.
155
00:06:26,103 --> 00:06:28,344
- Well, your week's
about to get even better.
156
00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:29,655
- We just booked a gig.
157
00:06:29,724 --> 00:06:31,689
We're about to wiggle
pop your cherry.
158
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,379
- Get out!
Where?
159
00:06:33,448 --> 00:06:34,379
- Give me a wiggle beat.
160
00:06:34,448 --> 00:06:35,862
[both beatboxing]
161
00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:38,344
Fillmore Elementary!
162
00:06:38,413 --> 00:06:41,275
[dramatic music]
163
00:06:43,517 --> 00:06:44,413
- Uh-uh. Uh...
164
00:06:44,482 --> 00:06:46,620
- Deb?
Is everything okay?
165
00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:47,586
- Do you really think
that Fillmore
166
00:06:47,655 --> 00:06:48,931
is the best place for us?
167
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,931
I mean, I hear that they
have a ton of, uh,
168
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,827
Crips and Bloods
activity there.
169
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:53,896
- You know, those
are West Coast,
170
00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:55,551
and it's an elementary school.
171
00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:57,551
- Oh, and I hear that
the teachers there sell oxy
172
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:58,896
at drop off/pick up.
173
00:06:58,965 --> 00:07:00,620
- Hey, Deb.
- Hmm?
174
00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:02,965
- It seems like you're
trying to back out.
175
00:07:03,034 --> 00:07:04,862
- No, no.
I just can't go there.
176
00:07:04,931 --> 00:07:06,965
I love being a Wiggle Bop.
177
00:07:07,034 --> 00:07:09,310
- Then you wanna stay one?
178
00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,551
So we have a dress rehearsal
tomorrow at 1:00
179
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:13,413
before the show.
180
00:07:13,482 --> 00:07:14,965
Are you in?
181
00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:20,517
- Absolutely.
182
00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:21,655
Mary Bop is in.
183
00:07:21,724 --> 00:07:23,103
[rock music]
184
00:07:23,172 --> 00:07:26,344
- Have fun at phys ed,
my little gym-thusiasts.
185
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:29,275
Oh, look.
Another note.
186
00:07:29,344 --> 00:07:30,793
Probably about you again.
187
00:07:30,862 --> 00:07:32,172
- Please.
You're so dumb,
188
00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:33,965
you didn't know the last one
was about you.
189
00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:35,275
- I'm not dumb.
190
00:07:35,344 --> 00:07:36,862
- You think Hannah Montana
and Miley Cyrus
191
00:07:36,931 --> 00:07:38,448
are two different people.
192
00:07:38,517 --> 00:07:40,793
- I hope your fragile ego
can take this.
193
00:07:40,862 --> 00:07:42,551
And they are
two different people.
194
00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,620
They just have similar teeth.
195
00:07:46,551 --> 00:07:48,310
"I bet your teacher wonders
196
00:07:48,379 --> 00:07:50,965
how anyone could ever
love her."
197
00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:54,689
both: It's me.
198
00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:56,275
- I do wonder that.
199
00:07:56,344 --> 00:07:58,620
I know I need therapy,
but my family only believes
200
00:07:58,689 --> 00:08:00,655
in medicating
with a dry chardonnay.
201
00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:02,482
- I'm a weirdo.
I know I am.
202
00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:06,000
You guys are really nice to me,
but I'm a total weirdo.
203
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,310
It's me.
204
00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:08,413
I'm unlovable.
205
00:08:08,482 --> 00:08:09,724
- No, it's me.
206
00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:11,103
I'm unlovable.
207
00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:13,310
What kind of sick freak
makes mosaics
208
00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:16,413
out of HDTV power couples
using spare buttons?
209
00:08:16,482 --> 00:08:17,689
- That's nothing.
210
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:18,827
I have special voices
for the two snails
211
00:08:18,896 --> 00:08:20,000
that live in my garden.
212
00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:21,206
[with high voice]
One's like this.
213
00:08:21,275 --> 00:08:23,000
[with low voice]
And one's like this.
214
00:08:26,551 --> 00:08:28,689
- I'm sure a lot
of people do that.
215
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:33,068
- How dare this kid
pass judgment on us?
216
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:37,517
We gotta find out which little
butthole wrote this note.
217
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:40,517
[dramatic music]
218
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,620
♪ ♪
219
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,344
- Mr. Pearson?
- [screams]
220
00:08:44,413 --> 00:08:46,000
[breathing heavily]
221
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,103
Don't sneak up on people
like that, Caleb.
222
00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:51,000
- Sorry, but I just wanted
to give you this.
223
00:08:51,068 --> 00:08:52,517
I made it special for you.
224
00:08:52,586 --> 00:08:54,620
- Oh, how nice.
225
00:08:54,689 --> 00:08:55,862
You can just leave it there.
226
00:08:55,931 --> 00:08:57,448
- But I want you
to look at it now.
227
00:08:57,517 --> 00:08:59,482
- Mm.
228
00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:00,793
[groans]
229
00:09:00,862 --> 00:09:02,344
[shouts]
[thuds]
230
00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:04,517
[groaning]
231
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,586
- It's you and me.
232
00:09:07,655 --> 00:09:09,586
- Is that a corn dog
in my hand?
233
00:09:09,655 --> 00:09:11,689
♪ ♪
234
00:09:11,758 --> 00:09:14,241
[crowd cheering]
235
00:09:14,310 --> 00:09:16,310
- What is so special
about these losers?
236
00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:17,965
They're like a low-rent
"Yo Gabba Gabba!"
237
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:20,413
- They're local celebrities,
Chelsea.
238
00:09:20,482 --> 00:09:21,862
- Hey, guys.
239
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:23,689
- Why are you dressed
like Mr. Robot?
240
00:09:23,758 --> 00:09:25,206
- No reason.
241
00:09:25,275 --> 00:09:27,344
Hey, Cecelia, I have a doctor's
appointment right now.
242
00:09:27,413 --> 00:09:28,551
Can you watch my class?
243
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:29,586
- Yeah, sure.
[horn honks]
244
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:30,551
- Thanks.
- [screams]
245
00:09:30,620 --> 00:09:32,275
- Gotta go.
246
00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:34,448
[crowd cheering]
247
00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:37,137
[horn honks]
248
00:09:37,206 --> 00:09:38,517
- Hey, guys.
249
00:09:38,586 --> 00:09:39,862
- Hey.
250
00:09:39,931 --> 00:09:42,862
[sultry music]
251
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:46,137
♪ ♪
252
00:09:46,206 --> 00:09:49,758
- Ding-dong,
the witch is wet.
253
00:09:49,827 --> 00:09:51,448
- Hi, Larry!
254
00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:52,862
- Oh!
[laughs]
255
00:09:52,931 --> 00:09:55,103
- Hey, we're not signing
stuff today, guys, okay?
256
00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:56,586
Nobody--nobody touch.
Nobody touch.
257
00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:58,689
- This rocks.
258
00:09:58,758 --> 00:09:59,758
- What are you doing?
259
00:09:59,827 --> 00:10:01,758
- Stretching out my mouth.
260
00:10:01,827 --> 00:10:04,965
[percussive music]
261
00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:06,344
- Oh, did your appointment
get canceled?
262
00:10:06,413 --> 00:10:07,724
Great.
263
00:10:07,793 --> 00:10:09,068
That gives me time
to go through the garbage
264
00:10:09,137 --> 00:10:10,896
for my co-op's trash to table
dinner tonight.
265
00:10:10,965 --> 00:10:14,034
Now you can watch your class.
266
00:10:14,103 --> 00:10:15,379
- Balls.
267
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,827
♪ ♪
268
00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:19,586
- Five, six, seven, and--
269
00:10:19,655 --> 00:10:21,896
- Okay, I'm here.
From the top.
270
00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:24,310
- Deb, where have you been?
- Traffic. Let's do this.
271
00:10:24,379 --> 00:10:26,137
- Whoa, Deb,
Larry Bop is supposed to be
272
00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:28,241
in the front of the line.
- Well, you snooze, you lose.
273
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:31,034
One, two, three.
♪ Do the guacamole mambo ♪
274
00:10:31,103 --> 00:10:33,275
Something about avocado!
Something, something, lemon.
275
00:10:33,344 --> 00:10:34,931
Lemon, this, this,
chicken, chicken, chicken.
276
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,551
And great.
We all know what comes next.
277
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:39,517
Let's take five.
- We just started.
278
00:10:39,586 --> 00:10:41,827
- Well, I have to pump.
279
00:10:41,896 --> 00:10:46,724
Otherwise we'll be doing
the breast milk boogie.
280
00:10:49,517 --> 00:10:51,137
- Did she say, "Chicken dick,
chicken dick,"
281
00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:52,482
when she was going
in the circle?
282
00:10:52,551 --> 00:10:56,172
[rock music]
283
00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:57,241
all: Oh!
284
00:10:57,310 --> 00:10:59,931
- Frankie, step away
from the Bunsen!
285
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,758
You could have set
the room on fire.
286
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,689
- But you always say
someone should burn
287
00:11:03,758 --> 00:11:04,827
this dump to the ground.
288
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:06,965
- [scoffs]
That's hyperbole.
289
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,965
Now, everyone listen up
for the instructions
290
00:11:09,034 --> 00:11:11,000
for the actual experiment.
291
00:11:11,068 --> 00:11:14,103
"You will turn on your
Bunsen burners safely.
292
00:11:14,172 --> 00:11:16,137
"Using tongs, pick up
one magnesium ribbon
293
00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:17,344
and hold it over the flame."
294
00:11:17,413 --> 00:11:18,482
Yada yada yada.
295
00:11:18,551 --> 00:11:20,413
Observe the results.
I'll be right back.
296
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,758
And no more do-it-yourself
flamethrowers.
297
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,517
[percussive music]
298
00:11:29,586 --> 00:11:31,068
♪ ♪
299
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:33,000
- How long are we gonna
talk about this?
300
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,689
- They can't be
the same person.
301
00:11:34,758 --> 00:11:36,172
Miley Cyrus has brown hair,
302
00:11:36,241 --> 00:11:37,862
and Hannah Montana
has blonde hair.
303
00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,689
- It's a wig, Mary Louise.
304
00:11:39,758 --> 00:11:40,793
- On a child?
305
00:11:40,862 --> 00:11:42,551
I don't think so.
306
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:45,275
♪ ♪
307
00:11:45,344 --> 00:11:48,448
all: ♪ I said shimmy shake ♪
308
00:11:48,517 --> 00:11:50,965
♪ Carrot cake ♪
309
00:11:51,034 --> 00:11:53,655
♪ Shimmy shake ♪
310
00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:55,310
♪ Carrot cake ♪
311
00:11:55,379 --> 00:11:57,655
- Deb.
Deb!
312
00:11:57,724 --> 00:11:59,517
- Nice.
313
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,862
Where's Deb?
- Um--
314
00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:02,068
- Don't lie for her!
315
00:12:02,137 --> 00:12:05,275
[rock music]
316
00:12:05,344 --> 00:12:08,931
♪ ♪
317
00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:13,034
- Frankie, where's
your emo swoop?
318
00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:14,965
- I don't know.
319
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,586
- Give it to me.
320
00:12:17,827 --> 00:12:20,724
No more flamethrowers!
321
00:12:20,793 --> 00:12:22,655
- What kind of socks are those?
322
00:12:22,724 --> 00:12:25,172
[percussive music]
323
00:12:26,034 --> 00:12:30,241
- They're compression socks
for circulation.
324
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,344
And that was very insensitive.
325
00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:34,275
[spooky music]
326
00:12:34,344 --> 00:12:35,689
- Mr. Pearson.
327
00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:36,689
- [groans]
328
00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:38,620
♪ ♪
329
00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:39,655
- Mr. Pearson.
330
00:12:39,724 --> 00:12:41,034
♪ ♪
331
00:12:41,103 --> 00:12:42,034
- Oh, my God.
- Mr. Pearson.
332
00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:44,551
[both scream]
333
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,620
- Watch it!
I was running with scissors.
334
00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:49,551
- [gasping]
335
00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:50,724
[yelps]
336
00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:52,344
- Be careful, Mr. Pearson.
337
00:12:52,413 --> 00:12:54,931
I don't wanna lose
another teacher.
338
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,034
♪ ♪
339
00:12:57,103 --> 00:13:00,517
- Someone here wrote
some very heinous notes.
340
00:13:00,586 --> 00:13:03,827
- And hurtful.
- Hurtful and heinous notes.
341
00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:06,793
And until someone comes forward
to claim responsibility
342
00:13:06,862 --> 00:13:09,724
for them,
no one will leave this room.
343
00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:13,413
And that includes missing
the Wiggle Bops performance.
344
00:13:13,482 --> 00:13:16,379
all: No!
345
00:13:16,448 --> 00:13:17,482
- We'll wait.
346
00:13:17,551 --> 00:13:20,448
[quirky music]
347
00:13:20,517 --> 00:13:23,448
♪ ♪
348
00:13:23,517 --> 00:13:25,482
Uh-uh-uh!
349
00:13:25,551 --> 00:13:27,137
No bathroom either.
350
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:31,103
If you gotta go,
you can use this.
351
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,517
- [sighs]
352
00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:36,689
Now, where's my wig?
353
00:13:36,758 --> 00:13:37,862
- ♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me ♪
354
00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:39,793
Whoa, Deb.
Wow.
355
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,068
You're actually here.
356
00:13:41,137 --> 00:13:42,413
You know what?
357
00:13:42,482 --> 00:13:43,586
You gotta get
your head in the game.
358
00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:44,689
- Yeah, I know.
359
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:45,655
I'm really sorry about earlier.
360
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:46,758
- Thank you.
361
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:47,862
I'm gonna 10-200.
362
00:13:47,931 --> 00:13:50,137
That's showbiz for pooping.
363
00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,896
- Ew.
[door opens]
364
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,896
- Larry Bop.
365
00:13:53,965 --> 00:13:55,206
[giggles]
366
00:13:55,275 --> 00:13:58,206
Hey there,
you furry little Muppet.
367
00:13:58,275 --> 00:14:02,137
Can you tell me how to get
to Sex With Me Street?
368
00:14:02,206 --> 00:14:04,448
- Uh, yeah, I can.
369
00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:05,689
- Oh!
370
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,103
They make you tuck
when you perform?
371
00:14:07,172 --> 00:14:08,620
Oh, I get it.
Kids.
372
00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:10,172
Let's get you untucked.
373
00:14:10,241 --> 00:14:11,931
- Um, stop!
I don't like you like that!
374
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,931
Leave!
- Are you effing serious?
375
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,482
- Uh-huh.
376
00:14:15,551 --> 00:14:17,137
- Okay, well, you're the one
who asked for my number
377
00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:18,724
and then texted me the emoji
of the wind-blowing lady
378
00:14:18,793 --> 00:14:19,724
and a rooster!
379
00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:23,137
[door opens]
380
00:14:23,206 --> 00:14:26,896
- Well, these shoes are toast.
- You scumbag.
381
00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:28,482
I'm unprofessional?
382
00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:30,137
You tried to have sex
with a teacher.
383
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:31,275
- I have no idea what
you're talking about.
384
00:14:31,344 --> 00:14:32,724
- [scoffs]
- And by the way,
385
00:14:32,793 --> 00:14:33,965
you might have a big dick,
386
00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:36,344
but you have a weird
woman's body.
387
00:14:36,413 --> 00:14:37,655
Wait, Deb?
388
00:14:37,724 --> 00:14:39,344
- Wait, you know Deb?
389
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:42,620
- Wait, are you a Wiggle Bop?
- Wait, do you teach here?
390
00:14:42,689 --> 00:14:44,103
Why didn't you tell us?
391
00:14:44,172 --> 00:14:46,206
[percussive music]
392
00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:48,137
- I can't do this anymore.
393
00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:50,241
I'm sorry, Larry Bop.
I quit.
394
00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:55,793
[suspenseful music]
395
00:14:55,862 --> 00:15:00,310
♪ ♪
396
00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:02,517
- Toby?
- [screams]
397
00:15:02,586 --> 00:15:04,275
- What are you doing?
398
00:15:04,344 --> 00:15:05,689
I saw your class
walking themselves
399
00:15:05,758 --> 00:15:07,068
down to the assembly.
400
00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:08,620
- I am kill-proofing my room.
401
00:15:08,689 --> 00:15:10,620
I can't be around Caleb.
402
00:15:10,689 --> 00:15:13,482
Death is coming for me,
but I'm gonna stop it.
403
00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,551
- If you're destined to die,
you can't avoid it.
404
00:15:15,620 --> 00:15:16,724
Death won't be cheated.
405
00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:18,137
- But I'm not ready.
406
00:15:18,206 --> 00:15:21,241
My love life is in shambles,
I'm a glorified sub,
407
00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:23,896
and I've never even cracked
open my home pickling kit.
408
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,448
- Toby, if Caleb
is your agent of death,
409
00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:29,448
you should just accept it and
enjoy the time you have left.
410
00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:31,965
- Is that meant
to be comforting?
411
00:15:32,034 --> 00:15:32,965
[quirky music]
412
00:15:33,034 --> 00:15:34,448
- We're waiting.
413
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,896
♪ ♪
414
00:15:37,965 --> 00:15:39,689
- [crying]
415
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:44,000
- Don't do this.
- [crying]
416
00:15:45,517 --> 00:15:48,413
[sniffles]
417
00:15:48,482 --> 00:15:49,793
- We're waiting.
418
00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:51,379
- [sighs]
419
00:15:52,137 --> 00:15:54,000
- Look what I found
in the hallway.
420
00:15:54,068 --> 00:15:55,310
- I don't wanna hear it,
Chelsea.
421
00:15:55,379 --> 00:15:56,655
I'm embarrassed enough.
422
00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:57,965
- I am not saying anything.
423
00:15:58,034 --> 00:15:59,206
You had a psychotic break.
424
00:15:59,275 --> 00:16:01,241
It happens, like,
every day to Kanye,
425
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:02,896
and he still gets rewarded by
getting to spend holidays
426
00:16:02,965 --> 00:16:04,241
with Kris Jenner.
427
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,551
- Actually, this is
the healthiest thing
428
00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:07,586
I've done for myself
in months.
429
00:16:07,655 --> 00:16:08,724
- Okay.
430
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,034
Maybe you do need help.
431
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,482
- I know it's weird.
432
00:16:11,551 --> 00:16:13,379
But those dumb-ass
kid songs make me happy,
433
00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:15,896
and they really helped me
bond with Hag.
434
00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:18,793
I didn't tell you guys
because I didn't wanna ruin
435
00:16:18,862 --> 00:16:20,413
my cool-girl image.
436
00:16:20,482 --> 00:16:21,517
- Oh, Deb.
437
00:16:21,586 --> 00:16:23,310
You do not have
to worry about that.
438
00:16:23,379 --> 00:16:25,034
None of us think you're cool.
439
00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:26,965
And we won't judge you.
440
00:16:27,034 --> 00:16:28,448
You guys didn't judge me
when I confessed
441
00:16:28,517 --> 00:16:30,448
I didn't know
what an adverb was.
442
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:31,896
- Mm-hmm.
443
00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:33,413
- We will always support you.
444
00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:35,827
- You're right.
I shouldn't have quit.
445
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,724
I love it.
446
00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:40,034
- The show does not start
for five minutes.
447
00:16:40,103 --> 00:16:43,241
You can probably make it
if you go...fastly.
448
00:16:44,413 --> 00:16:45,517
- Wow.
449
00:16:45,586 --> 00:16:47,172
- In the tradition
of the Greeks
450
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:51,689
at the theater of Dionysus,
give--
451
00:16:51,758 --> 00:16:54,310
[dramatic music]
452
00:16:54,379 --> 00:16:57,172
Deb.
You're here.
453
00:16:57,241 --> 00:16:59,965
- No.
Mary Bop's here.
454
00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:01,965
That is,
if you'll still have her.
455
00:17:02,034 --> 00:17:05,482
♪ ♪
456
00:17:05,551 --> 00:17:06,931
- Get in here, you crazy bop.
457
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,862
[all laughing]
458
00:17:08,931 --> 00:17:10,379
[upbeat music playing]
459
00:17:10,448 --> 00:17:12,275
[cheers and applause]
- Whoo!
460
00:17:12,344 --> 00:17:15,275
all: ♪ Mash, mash, mash
the avocado ♪
461
00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:17,517
♪ Dash, dash, dash a little ♪
462
00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:20,965
♪ And a wiggle to the left,
A wiggle to the right ♪
463
00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:24,517
♪ Holy moly, it's guacamole ♪
464
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:27,241
♪ Do the guacamole mambo ♪
465
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:28,758
- Can you believe it?
466
00:17:28,827 --> 00:17:30,000
- I know.
467
00:17:30,068 --> 00:17:31,413
I have no idea
how he dances around
468
00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:33,206
with that monster dick.
469
00:17:33,275 --> 00:17:34,793
- I was talking about Deb.
470
00:17:34,862 --> 00:17:36,379
She's amazing up there.
471
00:17:36,448 --> 00:17:37,965
- Oh, yeah.
Totally.
472
00:17:38,034 --> 00:17:43,034
♪ ♪
473
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,586
[cheers and applause]
474
00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:50,448
- Still waiting.
475
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:53,758
[upbeat music]
476
00:17:53,827 --> 00:17:56,655
- Now I need
a teacher volunteer
477
00:17:56,724 --> 00:17:59,758
for a super special
magic trick.
478
00:17:59,827 --> 00:18:03,172
How about...you?
479
00:18:03,241 --> 00:18:05,586
Yes, you, silly.
Get on up here.
480
00:18:05,655 --> 00:18:08,172
[applause]
481
00:18:08,241 --> 00:18:11,137
- Hey!
Now, what's your name?
482
00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:12,758
- Mr. Pearson.
483
00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:13,862
- [laughs]
484
00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:14,862
- Off you go. Go.
- Okay.
485
00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:16,275
- Go, go.
486
00:18:16,344 --> 00:18:18,793
And now I just need
one more volunteer.
487
00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:22,482
How about somebody
in Mr. Pearson's class?
488
00:18:22,551 --> 00:18:23,413
Huh? Huh?
489
00:18:23,482 --> 00:18:25,068
Oh, yeah!
You!
490
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,137
- Yes!
491
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,172
- Get on up here.
- Oh, no!
492
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,517
No, I can't do this!
493
00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:30,448
I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
494
00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:34,068
- What's your name?
- Caleb.
495
00:18:34,137 --> 00:18:36,448
- Oh, do you like magic, Caleb?
496
00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:39,068
- Of course he does,
because everybody likes magic.
497
00:18:39,137 --> 00:18:40,206
Right?
- Not me! No!
498
00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:42,000
I-I do not like magic!
499
00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:43,586
It's for witches and heathens!
500
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:47,241
- You're going to stick
this sword through the box
501
00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:49,586
with Mr. Pearson inside!
502
00:18:49,655 --> 00:18:50,827
- No, please!
503
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,103
- Let's count him in
on "Whee."
504
00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:56,103
One, a-two, a...
505
00:18:56,172 --> 00:18:57,344
all: Whee!
506
00:18:57,413 --> 00:19:00,827
- [screaming]
507
00:19:00,896 --> 00:19:02,413
[all gasping]
508
00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:04,379
I'm dead!
I'm dead!
509
00:19:04,448 --> 00:19:05,724
I died!
- You're not dead, Toby.
510
00:19:05,793 --> 00:19:07,172
You're fine.
511
00:19:07,241 --> 00:19:09,448
- It is so embarrassing that
you just fell off the stage.
512
00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:11,103
- I guess my vision
didn't mean death.
513
00:19:11,172 --> 00:19:13,068
It was just a tragic end
to a magic trick.
514
00:19:13,137 --> 00:19:16,000
- I think I hurt my leg.
515
00:19:16,068 --> 00:19:18,620
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
516
00:19:20,758 --> 00:19:21,793
[bell rings]
517
00:19:21,862 --> 00:19:24,586
[dramatic music]
518
00:19:24,655 --> 00:19:28,137
- It's 3:00, so legally
we have to let you go,
519
00:19:28,206 --> 00:19:29,551
or it's considered kidnapping.
520
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:32,655
- Do not think
this is over.
521
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:39,068
- Hey, I'm sorry,
but if an eight-year-old
522
00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:42,620
calling you an insecure loser
can make you openly cry,
523
00:19:42,689 --> 00:19:45,689
then maybe there's
something deeper going on.
524
00:19:46,275 --> 00:19:47,862
- You're right, Ronan.
525
00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:51,068
- Yeah, you've really
put things into perspective.
526
00:19:53,344 --> 00:19:56,655
- Wait.
Insecure loser?
527
00:19:56,724 --> 00:19:58,862
How would he know
that was on the notes?
528
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,517
[dramatic music]
529
00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:02,793
That little asshole wrote
the notes, didn't he?
530
00:20:02,862 --> 00:20:05,241
- Yeah.
Ronan, wait!
531
00:20:05,310 --> 00:20:07,206
Tell me what I can do
to do better.
532
00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:08,793
- Oh, my God.
533
00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:10,827
[rock music]
534
00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:12,758
- ♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪
535
00:20:12,827 --> 00:20:15,000
♪ La-la, la-la ♪
536
00:20:15,068 --> 00:20:17,241
♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪
537
00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:19,689
♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪
538
00:20:19,758 --> 00:20:21,068
♪ La-la, la-la ♪
539
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,206
- ♪ I'm gonna teach ya ♪
540
00:20:22,275 --> 00:20:24,103
- ♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪
541
00:20:24,172 --> 00:20:25,620
♪ La-la, la-la ♪
542
00:20:25,689 --> 00:20:27,034
- ♪ Give you what you need,
ah ♪
543
00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:28,793
- ♪ La-la, la-la-la ♪
544
00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:30,103
♪ La-la, la-la ♪
545
00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:31,655
- ♪ Said I'm gonna teach ya ♪
546
00:20:31,724 --> 00:20:34,034
- ♪ La-la ♪
37048
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.