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1
00:00:06,827 --> 00:00:08,034
[rock music]
2
00:00:08,103 --> 00:00:09,344
- Some of the parishioners
3
00:00:09,413 --> 00:00:11,034
didn't like
the statue he bought,
4
00:00:11,103 --> 00:00:13,448
but then Pastor Ted explained
that with all the walking
5
00:00:13,517 --> 00:00:16,413
He did, Jesus probably
did have abs,
6
00:00:16,482 --> 00:00:17,827
so we're gonna keep it.
7
00:00:17,896 --> 00:00:20,517
- Oh, looks like we got
a new neighbor.
8
00:00:20,586 --> 00:00:21,551
- Ugh, good.
9
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:23,586
That old couple
was so annoying.
10
00:00:23,655 --> 00:00:25,620
The husband getting wheeled out
for dialysis every day,
11
00:00:25,689 --> 00:00:28,172
it's like, we get it.
You're dying.
12
00:00:30,689 --> 00:00:31,655
- Seems nice.
13
00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:33,517
- I wonder if they've got kids.
14
00:00:33,586 --> 00:00:36,206
[mischievous music]
15
00:00:36,275 --> 00:00:37,517
[bear grunts]
16
00:00:38,689 --> 00:00:41,103
- Is that a...
17
00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:44,724
- Yep, that's a bear.
18
00:00:47,724 --> 00:00:49,931
[rock music]
19
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,034
- ♪ Teachers ♪
20
00:00:51,103 --> 00:00:53,000
♪ ♪
21
00:00:53,068 --> 00:00:54,344
- The sitch is cray.
22
00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:55,896
- Why would anyone
own a bear,
23
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:57,379
especially near a school?
24
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,137
I mean, what's to stop it
from walking onto campus?
25
00:00:59,206 --> 00:01:00,724
- If it's a pet,
he's overcompensating.
26
00:01:00,793 --> 00:01:03,586
You know what they say:
big pet, little dick.
27
00:01:03,655 --> 00:01:04,965
- I'll go talk to him.
28
00:01:05,034 --> 00:01:06,551
I'm sure once
I express our concerns,
29
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:08,896
he'll be reasonable
and put up a fence.
30
00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:11,310
- Aloha!
- Hey!
31
00:01:11,379 --> 00:01:12,586
- Look at your fun hair.
32
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:14,344
- Thanks.
- What are you doing here?
33
00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:16,310
I thought you had two more
weeks of maternity leave?
34
00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:18,758
- Ugh, I needed a leave
from my leave.
35
00:01:18,827 --> 00:01:21,448
Compared to staying home
and taking care of a newborn,
36
00:01:21,517 --> 00:01:23,206
work is a vacation.
37
00:01:23,275 --> 00:01:24,689
I can't spend any more time
38
00:01:24,758 --> 00:01:27,517
with that gassy,
defecating blob of fat.
39
00:01:27,586 --> 00:01:29,517
- [gasps]
Deb!
40
00:01:29,586 --> 00:01:32,965
- Relax, I'm talking
about Damien.
41
00:01:33,034 --> 00:01:34,586
Oh, hello there,
42
00:01:34,655 --> 00:01:37,103
coffee I didn't have to make
with one hand.
43
00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:38,172
- That's from yesterday.
44
00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:40,862
- Mmm, tastes like freedom.
45
00:01:40,931 --> 00:01:42,758
- Good morning, ladies.
Uh-oh.
46
00:01:42,827 --> 00:01:46,379
- Oh, I never realized
there was a rug here.
47
00:01:46,448 --> 00:01:47,931
How interesting.
48
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,862
Hmm, squares and squares.
49
00:01:51,931 --> 00:01:53,827
- Okay, what was that?
50
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:56,793
- Yeah, I thought your breakup
wasn't that bad.
51
00:01:56,862 --> 00:01:58,034
- It wasn't.
52
00:01:58,103 --> 00:01:59,724
I just never want
to see him again, ever,
53
00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:02,655
and if he gets by a bus,
then so be it.
54
00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:04,655
- Oh, good, I thought
there was an issue.
55
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,586
- I just really
need a break from him.
56
00:02:06,655 --> 00:02:08,103
Luckily, I have jury duty
tomorrow.
57
00:02:08,172 --> 00:02:10,448
I hope I get sequestered
for one of those cases
58
00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:12,034
where they catch a guy
who's been eating people
59
00:02:12,103 --> 00:02:13,620
and using their skulls
as soup bowls.
60
00:02:13,689 --> 00:02:17,551
- Honestly,
that sounds delightful.
61
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:22,793
[rock music]
62
00:02:22,862 --> 00:02:24,172
- Look what I drew,
Miss Cannon.
63
00:02:24,241 --> 00:02:25,448
- Oh, it's a bear,
64
00:02:25,517 --> 00:02:27,034
and you're riding it.
65
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:29,793
- Yeah.
- Another reason why art sucks.
66
00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:32,965
- Miss Snap, at recess, can we
please go play with the bear?
67
00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:33,965
- No!
68
00:02:34,034 --> 00:02:35,551
No one go near the bear.
69
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:36,689
Bears are dangerous.
70
00:02:36,758 --> 00:02:38,379
- Pooh bear isn't dangerous.
71
00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:40,827
He spends all of his time
with a tiny pig,
72
00:02:40,896 --> 00:02:42,206
and he never eats him.
73
00:02:42,275 --> 00:02:43,482
- Man, I wish I had a bear.
74
00:02:43,551 --> 00:02:45,241
I'd trick it out
like a Build-A-Bear
75
00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:46,931
and make him
look like my uncle.
76
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,586
I'd give him wraparound
sunglasses, cutoff jean shorts,
77
00:02:50,655 --> 00:02:52,551
and put him on a Jet Ski.
78
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:55,103
- Okay, I know bears seem cool
on TV and in books,
79
00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:57,620
but real bears aren't like
Paddington or Yogi
80
00:02:57,689 --> 00:02:59,724
or big hairy rugged
masculine gay guys.
81
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:01,862
That bear across the street
could kill you.
82
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,172
- If bears aren't awesome,
then why did Chicago
83
00:03:04,241 --> 00:03:07,206
name a football
and a baseball team after them?
84
00:03:07,275 --> 00:03:09,896
[rock music]
85
00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:14,482
- [snoring]
86
00:03:17,379 --> 00:03:20,172
- Good morning.
87
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,586
- This is the worst.
88
00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:22,827
We could be here forever.
89
00:03:22,896 --> 00:03:25,068
- [gasps]
Oh, do you really think so?
90
00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:28,241
- Caroline?
91
00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:30,206
- Toby.
92
00:03:30,275 --> 00:03:31,448
What are you doing here?
93
00:03:31,517 --> 00:03:33,551
- I'm here for jury duty.
94
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:34,827
What are you doing here?
95
00:03:34,896 --> 00:03:37,758
- I'm here for jury duty too.
96
00:03:37,827 --> 00:03:39,379
- Ah.
97
00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:52,724
So how are you doing?
98
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,172
- Great, really great.
99
00:03:56,241 --> 00:03:57,379
I love my new apartment.
100
00:03:57,448 --> 00:03:59,103
It's magical.
101
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,689
Even with my limited finances,
102
00:04:00,758 --> 00:04:02,827
I found a place where I can't
see my kitchen from my bed.
103
00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:04,793
- That's nice.
- It is.
104
00:04:04,862 --> 00:04:07,379
Did I tell you I've been taking
spontaneous bike rides?
105
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,310
I've also
rediscovered my passion
106
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,862
for cooking eggplant dishes,
107
00:04:10,931 --> 00:04:13,758
and I just found out I have
an aunt I didn't know about.
108
00:04:13,827 --> 00:04:17,206
I can honestly say I've never
been happier in my life.
109
00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:25,448
- I just got a new Instapot,
so I'm doing great too.
110
00:04:25,517 --> 00:04:28,724
[rock music]
111
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,137
[seagulls cawing]
112
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:36,034
- Mrs. Adler, Tommy
won't let me on the slide.
113
00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:39,172
- Uh, did he crap in his pants,
make you change his diaper,
114
00:04:39,241 --> 00:04:42,034
then puke on you while you
wiped cream onto his butthole?
115
00:04:42,103 --> 00:04:43,448
- No...
116
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,965
- Then roll with it, Jude.
117
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:47,896
The sun is shining.
The birds are chirping.
118
00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:49,310
Mahalo.
119
00:04:49,379 --> 00:04:51,620
[rock music]
120
00:04:51,689 --> 00:04:54,103
- Hidey ho, neighbor.
121
00:04:54,931 --> 00:04:55,724
- Hey there.
122
00:04:55,793 --> 00:04:56,965
- I'm Mary Louise Bennigan.
123
00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:59,379
I teach across the street
at Fillmore.
124
00:04:59,448 --> 00:05:00,896
I just wanted to stop by
125
00:05:00,965 --> 00:05:02,586
and welcome you
to the neighborhood.
126
00:05:02,655 --> 00:05:04,310
- Oh, I'm Gary.
Nice to meet you.
127
00:05:04,379 --> 00:05:06,620
My wife and I
just moved here from Wyoming.
128
00:05:06,689 --> 00:05:08,448
- Oh, well, welcome.
129
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:11,793
And it's lovely to see what
you've done with the place,
130
00:05:11,862 --> 00:05:14,103
the porch furniture,
the potted plants,
131
00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:17,724
and did I happen to notice
a loose bear?
132
00:05:17,793 --> 00:05:21,034
- Oh, yeah, that's my boy,
Chaucer.
133
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:21,827
[chuckles]
134
00:05:21,896 --> 00:05:23,275
He's a real pistol.
135
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:25,034
- I bet he is.
136
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:29,034
It's just, I'm a little
concerned about a bear
137
00:05:29,103 --> 00:05:31,413
living across the street
from a school.
138
00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:34,758
- Don't worry, I would never
let Chaucer off my property.
139
00:05:34,827 --> 00:05:37,068
- Oh, I know
you wouldn't, Gary,
140
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:40,000
but you can't be with Chaucer
24 to the 7.
141
00:05:40,068 --> 00:05:43,551
And since it seems
fairly easy breezy,
142
00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:45,724
you know, maybe you could
put up a little fence
143
00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:47,965
so the big guy
doesn't get out.
144
00:05:48,034 --> 00:05:50,689
- I completely
understand your concern,
145
00:05:50,758 --> 00:05:52,689
but I'm a very responsible
bear owner.
146
00:05:52,758 --> 00:05:54,275
Actually, at one point,
147
00:05:54,344 --> 00:05:56,137
I thought about
getting rid of Chaucer,
148
00:05:56,206 --> 00:05:57,620
but we had a break-in,
149
00:05:57,689 --> 00:06:00,310
and having a bear
makes my wife feel safer.
150
00:06:00,379 --> 00:06:01,517
- Uh-huh.
151
00:06:01,586 --> 00:06:02,862
But what if a child
152
00:06:02,931 --> 00:06:04,241
tries to put his hand
in the bear's mouth?
153
00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:05,793
[bear growls]
154
00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:08,137
- If a kid wants to put
his hand in Chaucer's mouth,
155
00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:09,000
he's gonna do it.
156
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:10,620
A fence won't stop him.
157
00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:12,931
- Yeah, I guess
you have a point.
158
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,344
- Plus I checked the ordinances
before I moved,
159
00:06:15,413 --> 00:06:17,689
and there's no law
saying I need a fence.
160
00:06:17,758 --> 00:06:19,655
- Oh, really,
no law?
161
00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:21,620
Oh, you can't argue with that.
162
00:06:21,689 --> 00:06:23,241
Snickerdoodle?
- Oh!
163
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:28,172
Mmm, now,
these are dangerous.
164
00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:30,310
[bear groans]
165
00:06:35,965 --> 00:06:36,965
[rock music]
166
00:06:37,034 --> 00:06:38,620
- We got so lucky
with the weather,
167
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:41,034
and nobody's
hanging off my tits.
168
00:06:41,103 --> 00:06:42,482
Life is good.
169
00:06:42,551 --> 00:06:44,137
- [gasps]
How'd it go with grizzly man?
170
00:06:44,206 --> 00:06:45,413
- Great.
171
00:06:45,482 --> 00:06:46,724
- So he's gonna
put up a fence?
172
00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,551
- Oh, no.
Legally, he doesn't have to.
173
00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:49,931
- Right, but he should.
174
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,482
- Yeah, but he's
a responsible bear owner,
175
00:06:51,551 --> 00:06:52,965
so I don't think
we need to worry.
176
00:06:53,034 --> 00:06:55,344
- So, what, he's just gonna
Jedi mind trick the bear
177
00:06:55,413 --> 00:06:56,413
into never leaving his yard?
178
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:57,896
- Yeah, this is ridiculous.
179
00:06:57,965 --> 00:06:59,517
After school,
we're taking some real action.
180
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,206
- Okay, Cecelia, but don't dump
red paint on the bear.
181
00:07:02,275 --> 00:07:03,965
It's his own fur.
He's allowed to wear it.
182
00:07:04,034 --> 00:07:05,827
- We're going
to the city council.
183
00:07:05,896 --> 00:07:08,413
So, Councilwoman Taylor, that's
why we'd like some legislation
184
00:07:08,482 --> 00:07:11,586
requiring bear owners to have
fences around their yards.
185
00:07:11,655 --> 00:07:13,827
- You want me to ban bears?
186
00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:15,413
- No, never said that.
187
00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:16,931
Didn't even imply it.
188
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,379
- What's next, you don't
like the way some Shih Tzu
189
00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:21,862
looks at you,
so we outlaw all Shih Tzus?
190
00:07:21,931 --> 00:07:24,379
"Oh, that Shih Tzu
might bite my finger."
191
00:07:24,448 --> 00:07:25,482
Bye-bye, Mr. Scrunch!
192
00:07:25,551 --> 00:07:26,586
- Who's Mr. Scrunch?
193
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,310
- My Shih Tzu.
- Oh.
194
00:07:28,379 --> 00:07:33,068
- Listen, my constituents
all have varying beliefs.
195
00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:36,241
I can't force your particular
opinions on everyone.
196
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:38,896
- Okay, first of all,
enough with the condensation.
197
00:07:38,965 --> 00:07:40,000
- [whispers]
Condescension.
198
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,793
- Do not correct me in public!
199
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,517
Second of all, we don't
want to get rid of bears.
200
00:07:43,586 --> 00:07:44,758
We just want our neighbor
201
00:07:44,827 --> 00:07:46,482
to take some
extra safety measures.
202
00:07:46,551 --> 00:07:48,103
- Okay.
203
00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:50,137
Ladies, I understand
your concerns,
204
00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:53,034
and I promise you that
I will look into this issue
205
00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:55,965
and find a fair
and reasonable compromise.
206
00:07:58,241 --> 00:08:01,758
- Ew, who are you,
Howie Mandel?
207
00:08:01,827 --> 00:08:03,793
[chuckles]
208
00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:05,310
[rock music]
209
00:08:05,379 --> 00:08:07,689
- [laughing]
210
00:08:07,758 --> 00:08:09,137
I'm telling you, Apollonia,
211
00:08:09,206 --> 00:08:11,517
you've got to watch
"The Golden Girls."
212
00:08:11,586 --> 00:08:13,931
Fair warning:
you will crave cheesecake.
213
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,586
[laughs]
214
00:08:15,655 --> 00:08:17,793
- I don't have good English.
215
00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:19,758
- Apollonia, you flirt.
[laughing]
216
00:08:19,827 --> 00:08:21,620
- What is this guy's deal?
217
00:08:21,689 --> 00:08:24,068
- I know, right?
218
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,241
Jacob.
219
00:08:25,310 --> 00:08:26,586
- Hi, Caroline.
220
00:08:26,655 --> 00:08:27,827
- What are you doing here?
221
00:08:27,896 --> 00:08:29,655
- I'm defending a client.
222
00:08:29,724 --> 00:08:32,034
- You finally
went back to law school.
223
00:08:32,103 --> 00:08:35,275
Wow, I'm so glad
you improved yourself
224
00:08:35,344 --> 00:08:36,689
after we broke up.
225
00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:38,206
- [laughing]
226
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:42,275
- So when was the last time
we saw each other?
227
00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:46,724
- When I proposed to my wife
and you told me to eat shit...
228
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,068
repeatedly.
229
00:08:48,137 --> 00:08:52,000
- [laughs]
230
00:08:52,068 --> 00:08:54,103
Oh, we did have some fun,
didn't we?
231
00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:56,379
- That's too much,
way too much.
232
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,827
You're pathetic, bringing your
ex-boyfriend to jury duty.
233
00:08:59,896 --> 00:09:02,000
- What?
I didn't.
234
00:09:02,068 --> 00:09:03,448
And you should talk,
trying to make me jealous
235
00:09:03,517 --> 00:09:06,103
with that woman
in the jewel-toned tracksuit.
236
00:09:06,172 --> 00:09:07,724
- I didn't think
it would bother you.
237
00:09:07,793 --> 00:09:09,862
How's your stupid new aunt?
238
00:09:09,931 --> 00:09:12,827
- How dare you talk
about my new Aunt Connie!
239
00:09:12,896 --> 00:09:15,034
That's it.
You need to get a postponement.
240
00:09:15,103 --> 00:09:16,896
Go up to the woman
behind the bulletproof glass--
241
00:09:16,965 --> 00:09:19,000
- This is exactly
why we broke up.
242
00:09:19,068 --> 00:09:21,827
You have to control
every situation.
243
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:23,965
- We didn't break up
because I'm controlling.
244
00:09:24,034 --> 00:09:26,827
We broke up because you
can't handle a strong woman.
245
00:09:26,896 --> 00:09:29,620
- Jacob, my man,
you get it.
246
00:09:29,689 --> 00:09:30,965
Whose fault
do you think it was?
247
00:09:31,034 --> 00:09:32,517
- I'm just here
for a client.
248
00:09:32,586 --> 00:09:34,310
- Oh! You want to bring
other people into this?
249
00:09:34,379 --> 00:09:36,793
Great, we've got a room
full of jurors here.
250
00:09:36,862 --> 00:09:38,275
- You want
to take me to court?
251
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:39,724
- Oh, absolutely.
252
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:41,724
- Then consider me
subpoenaed.
253
00:09:41,793 --> 00:09:43,344
♪ Bum, bum ♪
254
00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:44,724
[rock music flourish]
255
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,034
- They're gonna
teach me how to teach?
256
00:09:46,103 --> 00:09:47,344
I don't want to be taught
how to teach.
257
00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:50,344
I'm a teacher.
That's why I teach.
258
00:09:50,413 --> 00:09:52,206
- Change of plans, people.
259
00:09:52,275 --> 00:09:55,724
There's a new agenda for today.
260
00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:57,172
[box slams]
- Oh!
261
00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:59,172
- Councilwoman Taylor
talked the district
262
00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:03,275
into mandatory
bear preparedness training.
263
00:10:03,344 --> 00:10:07,206
I will be taking you
through a series of exercises
264
00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:12,655
and familiarizing you
with various weapons...
265
00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:15,931
[grunts]
In order to protect yourselves
266
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,551
in the event of a bear attack.
267
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,862
- Are you kidding me?
268
00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:23,758
Cantaloupe,
grocery store muffins,
269
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,931
hard-boiled eggs.
[gasps]
270
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,689
And I'm the only one
I have to feed.
271
00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:32,793
- Is being sad and having low
expectations a hormonal thing?
272
00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:33,896
[rock music flourish]
273
00:10:33,965 --> 00:10:35,344
- Mr. Pearson,
274
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:39,758
would you say that you
can sometimes be insecure?
275
00:10:39,827 --> 00:10:41,896
- No, I don't think
that's true.
276
00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:45,034
- Do you remember the events
of August 4th, 2017,
277
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,448
when I hired an electrician?
278
00:10:46,517 --> 00:10:48,068
- Vaguely.
279
00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:50,068
- Let me refresh your memory.
280
00:10:50,137 --> 00:10:52,103
You made me fire
the electrician
281
00:10:52,172 --> 00:10:53,724
so you could prove
what a man you were
282
00:10:53,793 --> 00:10:56,310
and do the work yourself.
283
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:57,931
And what happened?
284
00:10:59,344 --> 00:11:01,689
- [quietly]
I zapped my testicles.
285
00:11:01,758 --> 00:11:03,103
- I'm sorry?
286
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:04,655
A little louder so the jury
can please hear you?
287
00:11:04,724 --> 00:11:06,379
- I zapped my testicles.
288
00:11:07,655 --> 00:11:10,724
- You zapped your testicles.
289
00:11:10,793 --> 00:11:12,586
- The outlet was waist-level.
290
00:11:12,655 --> 00:11:15,379
Anyone my height would have
zapped their testicles.
291
00:11:15,448 --> 00:11:17,931
- No further questions.
292
00:11:19,241 --> 00:11:19,965
- Mm-mm.
293
00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:21,793
[intense music]
294
00:11:21,862 --> 00:11:24,344
- "When you encounter a bear,
295
00:11:24,413 --> 00:11:27,344
shield yourself
and slowly back away."
296
00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:28,724
- [gasps]
297
00:11:28,793 --> 00:11:30,689
I know it's tempting to eat me
because my ass
298
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,689
looks big, plump,
round, and juicy,
299
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,344
but it's actually
just gel pads.
300
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,000
That's not true.
301
00:11:37,068 --> 00:11:38,482
I was just trying
to trick the bear.
302
00:11:38,551 --> 00:11:41,137
- Pass, and no one thinks
your ass looks like that.
303
00:11:41,206 --> 00:11:43,000
- [gasps]
304
00:11:43,068 --> 00:11:44,517
- "River rocks
are an excellent way
305
00:11:44,586 --> 00:11:46,689
to deter an attacking bear."
306
00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:47,896
- Ow!
307
00:11:47,965 --> 00:11:49,000
- And after
seeing you throw,
308
00:11:49,068 --> 00:11:51,137
it's no wonder you teach art.
309
00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:51,965
Pass.
310
00:11:52,034 --> 00:11:54,724
Okay, now, distract him.
311
00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:56,413
Spray the bear musk.
312
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,586
Spray the musk!
313
00:11:57,655 --> 00:11:59,206
Spray the musk!
314
00:12:01,724 --> 00:12:03,551
- Mr. Franklin, as someone
315
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:07,275
who was romantically involved
with Ms. Watson,
316
00:12:07,344 --> 00:12:10,034
how would you describe
that experience?
317
00:12:10,103 --> 00:12:13,275
- Uh, fun at first.
318
00:12:13,344 --> 00:12:14,655
She was smart,
319
00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:16,448
put together,
beautiful,
320
00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:18,172
could wear the hell
out of a headband,
321
00:12:18,241 --> 00:12:22,482
but, uh, after a few months,
she became very controlling.
322
00:12:23,551 --> 00:12:25,000
- Oh?
323
00:12:25,068 --> 00:12:26,586
Can you give us an example?
324
00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:29,931
- She used to make me listen
to a lot of Broadway musicals.
325
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000
I mean, what man
really wants to listen
326
00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:33,862
to the soundtrack
to "Carousel," right?
327
00:12:33,931 --> 00:12:35,137
- Right?
328
00:12:35,206 --> 00:12:37,206
I mean, real men
prefer something sexier,
329
00:12:37,275 --> 00:12:38,413
like "Pippin."
330
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,931
- Also, she used to go
"eh, eh, eh"
331
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,344
every time
I didn't use a coaster.
332
00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:45,379
- Members of the jury,
there you have it,
333
00:12:45,448 --> 00:12:50,517
proof that Ms. Watson destroys
every relationship she enters.
334
00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:52,275
I rest my case, Your Honor.
335
00:12:52,344 --> 00:12:56,827
- Okay, you guys huddle up
by the vending machine
336
00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:58,206
and decide who did the murder.
337
00:12:58,275 --> 00:13:00,241
[rock music flourish]
338
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:03,206
- "Congratulations
on completing
339
00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:05,758
"your bear attack
preparedness training.
340
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,793
"Use these skills wisely
341
00:13:07,862 --> 00:13:10,344
"to save the lives of your
students and colleagues.
342
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:13,827
Be the hero your local
government knows you can be."
343
00:13:13,896 --> 00:13:16,068
- This training was stupid.
344
00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:18,000
It would have been so much
easier to build a fence.
345
00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:20,689
- Really?
I legit enjoyed being here.
346
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,482
The food was great,
the time was relaxing,
347
00:13:23,551 --> 00:13:25,620
and the company
was enjoyable.
348
00:13:25,689 --> 00:13:26,758
Five stars.
349
00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:28,241
- Come on, Chelsea, chase me.
350
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:29,275
Try to eat me up
like a bear.
351
00:13:29,344 --> 00:13:31,413
- [gasps]
Mary Louise, no!
352
00:13:31,482 --> 00:13:33,241
[gasps]
353
00:13:38,689 --> 00:13:41,379
[intense music]
354
00:13:41,448 --> 00:13:42,448
[bear roars]
355
00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:47,413
[bear roars]
356
00:13:47,482 --> 00:13:49,241
- Oh, shit.
357
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:51,827
- Remember your training.
358
00:13:51,896 --> 00:13:53,827
[bear growls]
359
00:13:53,896 --> 00:13:56,586
- Okay, Mr. Bear,
just so you know,
360
00:13:56,655 --> 00:13:59,000
I do wear gel pads.
361
00:13:59,068 --> 00:14:00,482
[bear growls]
362
00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:02,034
[all gasp]
363
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:05,482
[bear roars]
364
00:14:05,551 --> 00:14:08,620
[all screaming]
365
00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:11,310
[bear growling]
366
00:14:13,448 --> 00:14:14,827
[cup bangs]
367
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,379
- Will the woman with
the bald spot please stand?
368
00:14:19,448 --> 00:14:21,068
Yeah, girl, you.
369
00:14:23,034 --> 00:14:24,551
Have you all decided
who's guilty?
370
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:28,275
- No, we got close,
but Henry pointed out
371
00:14:28,344 --> 00:14:29,551
that she wears loafers,
372
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,862
which turns
some people against her,
373
00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:34,172
and Ned thinks
that he wears makeup,
374
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,482
and, well, that threw
everybody off,
375
00:14:36,551 --> 00:14:40,103
so, no, we ended up
with a hung jury.
376
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:42,517
- No! You have to tell us
whose fault it is!
377
00:14:42,586 --> 00:14:44,689
- And we have to clear up
this makeup thing!
378
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,931
- Your Honor, I'm sorry, I know
this is highly unorthodox,
379
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,241
but I--I need to say something.
380
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:53,965
I can see that you both
have a lot of anger,
381
00:14:54,034 --> 00:14:57,000
but anger is almost
always downstream
382
00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:58,586
of some other strong emotion,
383
00:14:58,655 --> 00:15:01,931
and, in this case,
I think that emotion is love.
384
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,137
[tender music]
385
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,931
Relationships
are a two-way street,
386
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,241
and--and for whatever reasons,
it didn't work out for you two,
387
00:15:08,310 --> 00:15:11,586
but you both
tried your best, right?
388
00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:14,758
And--and I don't think
either of you are to blame.
389
00:15:14,827 --> 00:15:16,620
- Thank you, Jacob.
390
00:15:16,689 --> 00:15:20,137
That was really touching,
eloquent, and thoughtful.
391
00:15:20,206 --> 00:15:21,827
♪ ♪
392
00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:23,551
But you can still eat shit.
393
00:15:24,275 --> 00:15:25,965
[bear roaring]
394
00:15:26,034 --> 00:15:27,655
- Mary Louise,
spray on the musk!
395
00:15:27,724 --> 00:15:29,068
Oh, oh, great!
396
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,517
Now he's gonna fuck us
before he eats us!
397
00:15:31,586 --> 00:15:33,965
[bear roaring]
398
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:37,965
- Ow!
399
00:15:38,034 --> 00:15:39,620
- Oh, God,
I didn't sign up for this!
400
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,034
I just want to teach!
401
00:15:41,103 --> 00:15:42,620
- Oh, my God, ow!
402
00:15:42,689 --> 00:15:44,068
Literally no!
403
00:15:44,137 --> 00:15:47,482
None of these rocks
are hitting the bear!
404
00:15:47,551 --> 00:15:49,724
[bear growling]
405
00:15:52,379 --> 00:15:55,758
- Caroline, I'm sorry
for the way I acted.
406
00:15:55,827 --> 00:15:58,034
I want you
to be happy.
407
00:15:58,103 --> 00:16:00,241
- I want you
to be happy too.
408
00:16:00,310 --> 00:16:02,379
You're a good man,
and I'm sorry
409
00:16:02,448 --> 00:16:06,206
if my issues with control
ever made you doubt that.
410
00:16:06,275 --> 00:16:08,344
- And I'm sorry
if my insecurity
411
00:16:08,413 --> 00:16:10,310
sometimes caused me
to act like a fool.
412
00:16:10,379 --> 00:16:14,482
I think I just...
didn't want to lose you.
413
00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:18,137
- [moaning]
- Oh, yeah! Yeah!
414
00:16:18,206 --> 00:16:19,413
[intense music]
415
00:16:19,482 --> 00:16:21,724
- Chelsea,
take off your shoe!
416
00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,137
- These are Aldo!
417
00:16:23,206 --> 00:16:27,931
♪ ♪
418
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,655
- Come on.
419
00:16:31,103 --> 00:16:33,034
[bear growls]
420
00:16:33,103 --> 00:16:34,310
This is crazy!
421
00:16:34,379 --> 00:16:36,586
He's never
gonna stop chasing us!
422
00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:39,068
I'm gonna fight the bear!
423
00:16:48,448 --> 00:16:50,034
[screams]
424
00:16:50,724 --> 00:16:53,689
[bear roars]
425
00:16:53,758 --> 00:16:56,241
[whimpering]
426
00:17:04,379 --> 00:17:06,551
- [whispers]
I think he's gone.
427
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:24,689
[bear groans]
428
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,965
- Excuse me, Miss.
429
00:17:30,034 --> 00:17:31,448
You forgot your headband.
430
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,482
- You never fail
to bang it right off.
431
00:17:33,551 --> 00:17:35,413
- Care Bear,
what are we doing?
432
00:17:35,482 --> 00:17:38,931
We clearly still have
feelings for each other.
433
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,655
Why don't we
get back together?
434
00:17:40,724 --> 00:17:42,310
- Uh...
435
00:17:42,379 --> 00:17:44,413
I don't think
that's a good idea.
436
00:17:44,482 --> 00:17:46,103
- Why?
437
00:17:47,586 --> 00:17:49,724
- I think we should
just be friends.
438
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:51,517
- Friends?
439
00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:53,827
We just made love
in the bathroom
440
00:17:53,896 --> 00:17:55,551
of the county courthouse.
441
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:57,379
- I know,
and it wasn't smart.
442
00:17:57,448 --> 00:18:00,275
Seeing both you and Jacob today
made me realize
443
00:18:00,344 --> 00:18:02,310
that I have to stop
depending on a man
444
00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:05,620
to make my life complete.
445
00:18:05,689 --> 00:18:08,103
I need some time
to focus on myself.
446
00:18:08,172 --> 00:18:10,793
- So it was just sex?
447
00:18:10,862 --> 00:18:12,931
You--you trollop.
448
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,206
- Oh, give me a break.
449
00:18:14,275 --> 00:18:16,793
You got your rocks off too,
asshole.
450
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:18,896
[soft music]
451
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,344
- [clears throat]
452
00:18:20,413 --> 00:18:25,448
Uh, I want
to make this work.
453
00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:29,000
- Oh, Apollonia.
454
00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:36,275
♪ ♪
455
00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:58,206
- Today I join with you
in mourning the loss
456
00:18:58,275 --> 00:19:00,931
of property and productivity
457
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,448
caused by yesterday's
senseless bear attack.
458
00:19:04,517 --> 00:19:07,103
I feel your pain,
459
00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:12,344
but I urge us all
not to politicize this moment.
460
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:14,793
Sadly, there is no way
461
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:18,206
to prevent something like this
from happening.
462
00:19:18,275 --> 00:19:19,827
I wish there were.
463
00:19:19,896 --> 00:19:24,551
But today my thoughts
and prayers are with all those
464
00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:27,310
affected by this tragedy.
465
00:19:27,379 --> 00:19:28,724
God bless.
466
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,448
- [scoffs]
467
00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:34,275
- Hi, Gary!
468
00:19:35,413 --> 00:19:36,689
I got your check!
469
00:19:39,896 --> 00:19:42,551
[rock music]
470
00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:44,379
[bear roars]
471
00:19:45,413 --> 00:19:47,724
- Miss Snap,
that bear sucks.
472
00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:49,310
He ruined all of my artwork.
473
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,758
Paddington would never
have done this.
474
00:19:52,827 --> 00:19:54,344
- I know.
475
00:19:54,413 --> 00:19:57,137
- If there's no fence, the bear
can still get out, right?
476
00:19:57,206 --> 00:19:58,137
- That's right.
477
00:19:58,206 --> 00:20:00,586
- So what do we do now?
478
00:20:02,103 --> 00:20:04,310
- We wait.
33499
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