Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:41,772
Oh, go on! Oh!
3
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:55,219
What - What - What are you doing?
4
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:01,522
You're hurting me!
5
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,568
I'm gonna tell my Bernard of you!
6
00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:11,637
You're fucking dead!
7
00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:53,204
Oi! Come back here, you!
8
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:56,147
Ronnie!
9
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,615
Get off that couch
and come out here!
10
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,618
Ronnie!
11
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:35,202
Oh, shit! Sorry.
I didn't see you there.
12
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,242
Do you live here?
13
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:40,278
Yeah, I do, unfortunately.
14
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,211
Do you know Louise Clancy?
15
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:44,078
Yeah. Are you a friend of hers?
16
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:46,151
Know where she is?
17
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:48,880
She's at work.
18
00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:52,719
- What time does she get back?
- Don't know. About 7:00 or something.
19
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,690
Fuckin' hell.
20
00:04:59,198 --> 00:05:01,723
Do you want to come in
for a cup of tea?
21
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:07,137
Is that all right with you, love?
It's just, you know, cold.
22
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,504
Listen, have you got anything
for a headache?
23
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,941
Ah. Yeah, we have, as it happens.
24
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:15,503
Like a monkey wrench or something.
25
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:18,175
- What's all this about?
- Oh, yeah.
26
00:05:18,284 --> 00:05:21,811
- That's Sandra, that is.
- Hello, Sandra.
27
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:24,913
This is her place.
She's a fucking nurse.
28
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:27,754
That's her idea of interior design.
29
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,760
Oh, yeah, it's a skeleton.
30
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:32,330
And this is her cocktail cabinet and all.
31
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:35,630
There you go.
That should do it.
32
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,169
No, it's too big.
33
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:41,604
- Do you want a cup of tea?
- Yeah.
34
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:45,235
So, are you Louise's boyfriend?
35
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,540
- No.
- Oh, right.
36
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,343
- What, you're just, like, a mate?
- Primate.
37
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:53,681
- You must be the missing link then.
- Yeah, that's me.
38
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,654
- You're not gonna tell me your name.
- No.
39
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:02,023
- I'm not gonna tell you mine neither.
- All right. We'll be strangers.
40
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,854
- I see your boomerang came back then, love.
- It's not my fuckin' boomerang.
41
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:09,434
What about the old diminishing
pachyderm formation there?
42
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:14,404
No, that's all Sandra's collection.
She's in Zimbabwe at the moment.
43
00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:17,806
And fuck knows what she's
gonna bring back from there.
44
00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:20,504
Polagra or hepatitis "B" or something.
45
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,581
She's with her boyfriend.
46
00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:33,658
So, how is Louise?
47
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,160
I don't know.
I don't know her as well as you.
48
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:40,164
- Do you get on with her?
- Well, been out a couple of times.
49
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:43,133
- Does she like you?
- I don't know.
50
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,704
You better ask her.
51
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,864
Most people don't.
52
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:50,442
Do you find that she's
at all jealous of you?
53
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,979
No.
54
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:02,486
So - So, would you describe yourself
as a happy little person?
55
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:05,182
Yeah. I'm the life and soul.
56
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,129
Have you ever thought, right-
I mean, you don't know...
57
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:15,428
but you might already have had the happiest moment
in your whole fucking life...
58
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:19,665
and all you've got to look forward to
is sickness and purgatory?
59
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:23,641
Oh, shit.
60
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:27,543
Well, I just live from day to day myself.
61
00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:30,207
I tend to skip a day now and again.
You know what I mean?
62
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:34,047
I used to be a werewolf,
but I'm all right now!
63
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:38,249
Fuckin' hell.
I bet they're happy, eh?
64
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:41,849
All they got to do is sit round,
howling at the moon.
65
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,930
It's better than standing on the
cheesy fucking thing. Know what I mean?
66
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,829
I mean, tossing all these satellites
and shuttles out into the cosmos.
67
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,562
What do they think they're gonna find
up there that they can't find down here?
68
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,925
They think if they piss high enough...
69
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:55,266
they're gonna come across the monkey
with the beard and the crap ideas?
70
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,365
And it's, like,
"Oh! There you are, captain!
71
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,607
Are you busy? Because I've got
a few fundamental questions for you."
72
00:08:01,714 --> 00:08:04,512
- Are you with me?
- Yeah.
73
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,745
'Cause let's face it, right?
What are rockets?
74
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,823
I mean, they're just big, metal pricks.
75
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:15,724
You know, I mean, the bastards
aren't satisfied with fucking the Earth up.
76
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:19,389
- They've gotta fuck space and all.
- Tell me something, love.
77
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,725
Are you aware of the effect...
78
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,499
you have on the average mammalian,
Mancunian...
79
00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,734
X-Y'ly chromosome, slavering...
80
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:32,504
lusty male member of the species?
81
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:34,807
Uh... yeah.
82
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,973
I thought so.
83
00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:55,490
- Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
- No.
84
00:08:55,601 --> 00:09:00,004
- Do you think women like being raped?
- You talk a lot, don't you?
85
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,975
Do you like Japanese food?
86
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:06,704
Look, I've told you, I'm not interested.
All right?
87
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:09,576
- Could I have that a touch harder, please?
- Yes.
88
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:34,902
All right?
Enjoying yourself, are you?
89
00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:38,568
I'm having a great time, actually.
90
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:46,747
- Bloody hell.
- Ah, friendly.
91
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:49,150
What are you doing here?
You look like shit.
92
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,383
Just trying to blend in
with the surroundings.
93
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:58,854
Halitosis, halitosis, halitosis
94
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,003
- I can't believe you're here.
- I'm not here.
95
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:09,768
I tell you what.
It's a crackin' place you got, love.
96
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:13,174
- Good. I'm glad you like it.
- No, I was being sarcastic.
97
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,840
Why didn't you tell me you were coming?
I would have met you off the train.
98
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,782
- I didn't come on the fucking train.
- Off the bus then.
99
00:10:19,885 --> 00:10:22,376
- I didn't come on the bus either.
- So how did you get here then?
100
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:26,083
Well, basically, there was this little dot,
right, and the dot went bang...
101
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,660
and the bang expanded -
energy formed into matter.
102
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:31,059
Matter cooled, matter lived,
the amoeba to fish, the fish to fowl...
103
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,961
the fowl to froggy, the froggy to mammal,
the mammal to monkey, the monkey to man.
104
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:37,126
Amo, amas, amat. Quid pro quo.Memento mori. Ad infinitum.
105
00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:40,694
Sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese
and leave under the grill till doomsday.
106
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:44,572
- I see you haven't changed.
- He's a fuckin' genius, this geezer.
107
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,202
I take it you met
my wicky-wacky friend Sophie.
108
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,381
Oh, no. Actually, we haven't been
formally introduced.
109
00:10:50,413 --> 00:10:51,281
- Have we, love?
- No.
110
00:10:51,383 --> 00:10:55,242
No, we've been sat here
in embarrassing silence all afternoon.
111
00:10:56,689 --> 00:11:00,056
- So, how are you?
- Peachy creamy.
112
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:07,162
Are you really?
I'm very pleased.
113
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:10,724
So, how's, um -
Work?
114
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,000
- It's all right.
- "It's all right."
115
00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:13,600
It's all right.
116
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,970
- Is it everything you hoped it would be?
- Yeah.
117
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:19,407
What did you hope it would be?
118
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,544
I'm so - I'm sorry.
Did you get that?
119
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,020
It's everything she hoped it would be...
120
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,520
but she doesn't fucking know
what she hoped it would be.
121
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:34,252
Oh, and by the way,
thank you for this.
122
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,693
I mean, are you taking a piss or what?
123
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:41,427
"So, Johnny, my address is" -
124
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,029
I'm touched.
125
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:56,212
- Why have you come?
- Oh, can you tell from there?
126
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:58,943
Do you want a cup of tea?
127
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:03,351
I'd love a cup of tea!
You're fucking generous, you Cockneys, aren't ya?
128
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,151
- Sophie?
- Oh, yeah. Ta.
129
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,718
- How's your mum?
- Fine. How's yours? Still pulling pints?
130
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:44,728
She's dead.
She's still a good fuck though.
131
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,697
I mean, the rates are a bit extortionate...
132
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,701
but I do get a discount
what with being the son and everything.
133
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:54,933
Apparently, you shouldn't stick anything
up your cunt that you can't put in your mouth.
134
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,668
Give us that mug.
135
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,838
Can I try your coat on, Johnny?
136
00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:05,582
Yeah.
137
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:08,620
So what you been up to?
Have you seen anybody?
138
00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,951
Have you seen anybody?
139
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,689
Have you spoken to anybody
from Manchester?
140
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,762
Yeah, I phoned June
a couple of times.
141
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:19,922
And was June interested
in what you had to say?
142
00:13:21,433 --> 00:13:24,368
Fuckin' hell. I've seen more life
in an open grave.
143
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,111
Come on!
144
00:13:25,161 --> 00:13:26,370
- What?
- What!
145
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,339
- You don't seem very pleased to see me.
- I am pleased to see ya!
146
00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:33,434
You too good for us? Now you've got yourself
a posh job in the big "shitty."
147
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,446
- Me and her are on the fucking dole.
- Right.
148
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:36,914
- You're a career girl. You happy with that?
- Yeah.
149
00:13:37,148 --> 00:13:38,371
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
150
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,042
I'm delighted!
151
00:13:46,258 --> 00:13:49,489
Do you want some of this, Johnny?
152
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,996
Fuckin' hell, love.
What are you trying to do to me?
153
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:02,140
Right. Well, I'm going up to my room.
Do you want to see it, Johnny?
154
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,801
Is it worth the bother?
Is there anything worth seeing?
155
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:07,640
Why don't you come and find out?
It's not very far.
156
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:20,357
I'm sorry about this.
157
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,161
Yeah.
158
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:36,901
Oh, move, move.
159
00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:46,677
- Where are you?
- I'm in here.
160
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,155
Oh, it's de-lovely.
161
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:54,488
I see you've got a ceiling at the top
with a floor on the lower level...
162
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:56,686
and a wall at either side.
163
00:14:56,795 --> 00:14:59,923
And only a single bed.
Sad, really.
164
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:14,838
- You've got wonderful breasts.
- Don't you mean "tits"?
165
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:18,883
Are they both the same size,
or is one bigger than the other?
166
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,179
I don't know.
Do you want to weigh them?
167
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:25,483
- Is that a proposition?
- No, it's a threat.
168
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,135
Are you rich?
169
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,204
Life is for enjoying.
170
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,398
What about a family?
Have you got any brothers or sisters?
171
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,475
I try not to remember.
172
00:15:45,177 --> 00:15:49,443
You're sexually frustrated, aren't you?
173
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,243
- What's funny?
- Are you a feminist?
174
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:54,046
- No.
- Do you like fucking?
175
00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:56,621
- Do you like wanking?
- Not on my own, no.
176
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:07,328
That's a very ornithological mutilation
you've got there, love.
177
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,765
That's my tribal initiation.
178
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,171
Is it really?
179
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,741
- That was fuckin' athletic, that was.
- I think I ruptured my chakras.
180
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:28,943
Is there an instruction manual for this garb?
181
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:31,614
No. It's an intelligence test.
182
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,158
Now, what is this?
A granny, a sheepshank...
183
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,887
or the infamous round turn
and two half hitches...
184
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,191
as mentioned in the Book of Ezekiel?
185
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:42,426
- Are you finished?
- Hardly fuckin' begun.
186
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:45,901
It's just I think I'm gonna get into difficulties
when I reach the hippie shit up here.
187
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,634
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah. Well, you've tried the stairs.
188
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,438
I think we should take the escalator.
189
00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,535
Simple really.
190
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:58,446
- So is this.
- Thanks for the mammaries.
191
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,881
Could you ask her to order me a taxi, please?
192
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:06,947
- This is terribly disappointing.
- You don't like rejection, do you, Jeremy?
193
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:10,517
- Could we have a taxi, please?
- No problem... sir.
194
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,014
Whee!
195
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,171
It's really cozy, this.
196
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:05,576
Will you let me come again, Jerry?
197
00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:10,314
You're dead handsome, you know.
198
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,054
What work do you do?
199
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:20,925
I'm a dancer, actually.
200
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,254
Don't you wanna know me name?
201
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,265
It's Giselle.
202
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:32,770
Are you married?
203
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:39,265
What?
204
00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:43,713
Kiss me.
205
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:03,095
Oh, don't. It's yucky!
206
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,102
Get it off!
207
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:11,466
Are you glad I came?
208
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:14,375
What are you doing?
Get off me!
209
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:20,712
You're hurting me!
210
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:23,686
- Have you ever thought of committing suicide?
- No.
211
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:27,350
I'm going to commit suicide
on my 40th birthday...
212
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,359
if I'm still around.
213
00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:31,395
- Why?
- I don't want to be old.
214
00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,987
Do you?
215
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:57,522
Fuck.
216
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,161
Oh, God.
217
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:33,953
- Oh. Have a fag.
- Yeah, thanks. I will.
218
00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:47,600
What are you reading?
219
00:21:58,016 --> 00:22:01,577
Will you stop fucking about and fidgeting
in my peripherals? I'm trying to concentrate.
220
00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:04,952
She's got a very little waist,
Sophie, ain't she?
221
00:22:06,224 --> 00:22:08,590
She's got little tits and all.
222
00:22:12,864 --> 00:22:15,731
- Are you not cold?
- I'm reading about the butterfly effect.
223
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,665
What's the butterfly effect?
224
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:20,294
Every time a butterfly
flaps its wings in Tokyo...
225
00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:22,930
this old granny in Salford
gets a bilious attack.
226
00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:25,771
What happens if a butterfly
flaps its wings in Salford?
227
00:22:27,112 --> 00:22:29,740
- That's not the point.
- Oh, is it not?
228
00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:35,446
- What are you doing in London, Johnny?
- What are you doing in London?
229
00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:38,819
- I've told you what I'm doing in London.
- You've told me nothing.
230
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:44,095
- The last time I saw you, I told you -
- Fuckin' hell! Were you born irritatin'?
231
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:47,857
What have you come downstairs for anyway?
232
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:50,434
I fell asleep with the window open.
I was cold. I came down.
233
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:52,935
I had to pee. I've made some tea.
I'm here. All right?
234
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:56,201
- What's that, the greatest story ever told?
- I live here.
235
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:04,209
So what happened?
Were you bored in Manchester?
236
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:08,184
Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin' bored.
I'm never bored.
237
00:23:08,286 --> 00:23:11,153
That's the trouble with everybody.
You're all so bored.
238
00:23:11,256 --> 00:23:13,724
You've had nature explained to you,
and you're bored with it.
239
00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:16,521
You've had the living body explained to you,
and you're bored with it.
240
00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:19,222
You've had the universe explained to you,
and you're bored with it.
241
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:21,458
So now you just want cheap thrills
and plenty of 'em...
242
00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:24,228
and it don't matter how tawdry
or vacuous they are as long as it's new...
243
00:23:24,336 --> 00:23:27,863
as long as it's new, as long as it flashes
and fucking bleeps in 40 different colors.
244
00:23:27,973 --> 00:23:31,272
Well, whatever else you can say about me,
I'm not fuckin' bored.
245
00:23:31,376 --> 00:23:33,344
Yeah. All right.
246
00:23:34,446 --> 00:23:36,710
So how's it all going for you?
247
00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:38,680
It's a bit boring, actually.
248
00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:41,876
You're not enjoying yourself?
249
00:23:43,822 --> 00:23:46,313
Have you made many friends?
250
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,325
No.
251
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:52,022
Have you got a goblet or something,
because me heart's bleedin'.
252
00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:57,093
When are you going back to Manchester?
253
00:23:57,202 --> 00:23:59,830
- When are you going back to Manchester?
- I'm not going back.
254
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:01,838
- Why not?
- You know why not.
255
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,532
Do I?
256
00:24:05,577 --> 00:24:07,875
I thought you said
you never wanted to see me again.
257
00:24:07,979 --> 00:24:10,447
I don't ever want to see you again.
So will you fuck off back upstairs?
258
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:14,349
- Why are you such a bastard, Johnny?
- Monkey see, monkey do.
259
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:19,117
What does that mean?
260
00:24:21,092 --> 00:24:25,290
- Oh, this fucking cough.
- A butterfly must have flapped its wings.
261
00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:31,594
So have you got to get up
for work now, yeah?
262
00:24:33,004 --> 00:24:35,700
No. It's too early.
263
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:39,277
I'm going back to bed.
264
00:24:51,756 --> 00:24:55,783
So is she, uh, a Buddhist or something,
this nurse?
265
00:24:55,894 --> 00:24:58,419
No, she's a Catholic.
266
00:24:58,530 --> 00:25:01,055
What's she doing with the old fat chap
in the house then?
267
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:04,602
I don't know.
I think she fancies him or something.
268
00:25:04,703 --> 00:25:06,796
Louise is a Catholic.
Did you know that?
269
00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:09,874
- She's not, is she?
- Oh, fuckin' hell!
270
00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:21,381
You know what frightens me
about the human body?
271
00:25:21,486 --> 00:25:23,283
What?
272
00:25:23,388 --> 00:25:26,755
Well, it's like the, uh, most sophisticated
mechanism in the entire universe...
273
00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:28,985
and yet it's so fuckin' quiet, isn't it?
274
00:25:29,094 --> 00:25:33,963
- Know what I mean?
- Don't know. Mine makes enough noise.
275
00:25:34,065 --> 00:25:36,863
It's like this, uh, wet, pink factory.
276
00:25:36,968 --> 00:25:39,436
What the fuck are they making in there?
I mean, what's the product?
277
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:42,996
You never see no delivery trucks
coming or going, do you?
278
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:48,240
- I could have been a doctor.
- Do you wanna examine me?
279
00:25:48,346 --> 00:25:51,315
- You don't believe me, do you?
- I believe everything you say.
280
00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:54,044
- I've got "A" level psychology.
- You haven't.
281
00:25:56,521 --> 00:26:00,423
"Resolve is never stronger than in the morning
after the night it was never weaker."
282
00:26:00,525 --> 00:26:02,993
- What do you think of that?
- It's a load of bollocks.
283
00:26:04,829 --> 00:26:06,797
I thought of that.
284
00:26:07,832 --> 00:26:11,029
- Do you not agree with it?
- Don't know.
285
00:26:11,136 --> 00:26:13,934
Well, that's 'cause you weren't
fuckin' listening, were you?
286
00:26:14,039 --> 00:26:17,008
What's this?
A test or something?
287
00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:32,318
Don't. Stop it.
288
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,517
Just pack it in. Stop it!
289
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,528
Keep buggering about.
290
00:26:40,565 --> 00:26:43,363
- Let me get a watch, Johnny.
- Will you keep still?
291
00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:46,767
- Look, you can get me a watch.
- Don't want a fucking watch.
292
00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:00,618
I really like you, Johnny.
293
00:27:02,654 --> 00:27:05,088
You don't know me.
294
00:27:05,190 --> 00:27:07,181
I think I do.
295
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:09,988
- But you don't fucking know me!
- Oh, shit!
296
00:27:10,095 --> 00:27:11,995
Fucking hell!
297
00:27:12,097 --> 00:27:14,031
- You still like me?
- I love you.
298
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,066
- What?
- I'm in love with you, Johnny.
299
00:27:16,167 --> 00:27:18,362
Don't laugh. I'm serious.
300
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:30,042
I understand you, Johnny. I do.
301
00:27:44,095 --> 00:27:46,461
Johnny! No! No!
302
00:27:46,564 --> 00:27:49,226
Johnny!
303
00:27:53,238 --> 00:27:55,206
Ta-ra, Mr. Halpern.
304
00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:31,409
What's the matter?
What's going on?
305
00:28:31,509 --> 00:28:33,477
Fucked if I know.
306
00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:45,212
I'm too old for all this.
307
00:28:46,958 --> 00:28:50,223
Why don't we go out?
Go out for a drink or somethin'?
308
00:28:50,328 --> 00:28:52,660
Why don't you go out?
Go for a drink or somethin'.
309
00:28:52,764 --> 00:28:54,959
'Cause I want to go out with you.
310
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,968
Is this good?
311
00:29:04,809 --> 00:29:08,040
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
312
00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:10,114
- I'm cold.
- Johnny, I just -
313
00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:12,183
Get off of me.
314
00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:23,624
How - Do you ever get the feeling
that you're being followed?
315
00:29:24,662 --> 00:29:28,359
Look, will you just leave me alone,
give me a bit of room or something?
316
00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:54,223
Fucking hell!
317
00:29:56,561 --> 00:29:59,121
Johnny! Johnny!
318
00:30:00,732 --> 00:30:03,701
What's all that about?
What are you playin' at?
319
00:30:07,539 --> 00:30:09,439
- Where are you going, Johnny?
- Off my head.
320
00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:11,736
- I'm coming with you.
- No, you're not.
321
00:30:11,843 --> 00:30:14,197
- I want to come with you!
- Don't you fucking come with me!
322
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,942
- Are you comin' back?
- What the fuck for?
323
00:31:12,103 --> 00:31:14,003
Maggie!
324
00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:27,116
Maggie!
325
00:31:29,187 --> 00:31:32,156
You all right there, chief?
326
00:31:37,762 --> 00:31:39,855
- Have you lost somebody?
- Yeah?
327
00:31:39,964 --> 00:31:43,923
- Are you looking for somebody?
- Fuck off, cunt!
328
00:31:55,813 --> 00:31:58,077
- Got a fag?
- Yes, thanks.
329
00:31:58,182 --> 00:32:00,514
- Yeah, I got one.
- Giz one.
330
00:32:00,618 --> 00:32:02,245
- Please.
- What?
331
00:32:02,353 --> 00:32:05,481
- Say please.
- Just fucking giz one. Come on, mister.
332
00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:08,991
You've got a lovely way about you.
Has anybody ever told you that?
333
00:32:09,093 --> 00:32:11,653
"Thank you." It's all right.
334
00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:24,141
Maggie!
335
00:32:24,242 --> 00:32:26,369
- She's gone, mate.
- Eh?
336
00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:29,002
Those days are over.
337
00:32:29,113 --> 00:32:32,082
Have you seen a lassie
wandering about here?
338
00:32:32,183 --> 00:32:35,380
- What?
- A lassie - black hair, blue jeans.
339
00:32:35,486 --> 00:32:38,717
I saw a little border collie
padding off down there towards the fire.
340
00:32:38,823 --> 00:32:40,791
Yeah?
341
00:32:41,826 --> 00:32:44,795
- Have you lost your bird or something?
- Aye. Have you seen her?
342
00:32:44,896 --> 00:32:46,989
Black hair.
343
00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:48,998
- No.
- Fuckin' hell!
344
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:51,898
Stupid fuckin' cunt's gone and got lost.
345
00:32:52,003 --> 00:32:54,130
- Are you from Scotland?
- Uh?
346
00:32:54,238 --> 00:32:56,001
- Are you Scots?
- Aye.
347
00:32:56,107 --> 00:33:00,441
- What's it like up there?
- Fucking shite. I'll kick her fanny, man.
348
00:33:00,545 --> 00:33:03,013
- Do you dream in Scotch?
- Uh?
349
00:33:03,114 --> 00:33:05,742
Like, dream about sporran-clad,
caber-tossing haggis...
350
00:33:05,850 --> 00:33:07,818
galloping over porridge-covered glens?
351
00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:09,546
Fucking shite!
352
00:33:09,654 --> 00:33:12,851
I sent off for one of those little Linguaphone
packages - "Talk Shite in a Fortnight."
353
00:33:12,957 --> 00:33:16,415
It's all going very well. I haven't quite got
the hang of the transitive verbs yet.
354
00:33:16,527 --> 00:33:18,995
Will you fuckin' shut it?
355
00:33:23,735 --> 00:33:26,101
- So, what you doin' down here?
- Eh?
356
00:33:26,204 --> 00:33:29,196
Why are you here in London,
old Bodhi Dharma?
357
00:33:29,307 --> 00:33:31,798
Put my old man in hospital.
358
00:33:31,909 --> 00:33:33,570
- Your dad?
- Aye.
359
00:33:33,678 --> 00:33:36,340
- How did you do that then?
- Cracked him on the nut with a poker.
360
00:33:36,447 --> 00:33:39,075
- What for?
- He was fuckin' asking for it!
361
00:33:39,183 --> 00:33:42,118
- Maggie!
- So, what, is he in a bad way?
362
00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:44,120
Fuckin' right. He's half dead.
363
00:33:44,222 --> 00:33:47,589
- What does your mum think about it?
- She's off her fuckin' nut.
364
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,819
- So, you're, like, on the run, yeah?
- Aye.
365
00:33:49,927 --> 00:33:53,363
- Yeah, me too.
- Yeah? The cops after you? Yeah?
366
00:33:53,464 --> 00:33:56,399
- Can you tell me something, jock?
- What?
367
00:33:56,501 --> 00:33:59,629
- What's all that about?
- Eh?
368
00:33:59,737 --> 00:34:03,036
That - the old Highland fling there.
You know you're doing that?
369
00:34:03,141 --> 00:34:05,609
- What?
- That - you know, "and for my next tick" -
370
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:08,736
That. Look, it - it just happened again.
I'm not imagining it.
371
00:34:08,846 --> 00:34:10,111
Fuck off, eh?
372
00:34:10,201 --> 00:34:12,976
You do that in the sack,
with the old tick, spit - "Maggie!"
373
00:34:13,084 --> 00:34:15,382
- Must be a great fucking shag.
- Are you taking a piss?
374
00:34:15,486 --> 00:34:18,114
- You're fucking giving it away, aren't ya?
- Fucking come on, cunt!
375
00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:21,191
Cut your fucking head open!
Eh?
376
00:34:21,292 --> 00:34:23,886
- What's it like being you?
- Eh?
377
00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:26,623
- A bit hectic?
- Fuck off, poof!
378
00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:31,968
Do you believe in self-fulfilling prophecy?
379
00:34:32,070 --> 00:34:34,595
Eh?
380
00:34:34,705 --> 00:34:36,673
You know, like Nostradamus.
381
00:34:38,009 --> 00:34:40,443
He was, like,
this 16th-century astrologer...
382
00:34:40,545 --> 00:34:44,606
and he wrote in one of his quatrains that
this goon called Hister would invade Poland.
383
00:34:44,715 --> 00:34:46,945
So Hitler reads that and thinks,
"Hister, Hitler.
384
00:34:47,051 --> 00:34:48,985
Must mean me",
and invades Poland.
385
00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:52,545
So when the guy prophesied that the world
would end in 1999, which he did...
386
00:34:52,657 --> 00:34:55,285
does that therefore mean
that we're fulfilling the prophecy...
387
00:34:55,393 --> 00:34:57,293
by precipitating the Apocalypse?
388
00:34:57,395 --> 00:34:59,022
- You with me?
- What?
389
00:34:59,130 --> 00:35:02,099
You think the world will end in 1999?
390
00:35:04,268 --> 00:35:06,168
Listen, mate, what do you think of this?
391
00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:09,239
Why don't you go have a little wander around
and go look for the wee lassie, and I'll wait here?
392
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:11,365
- If she turns up, I'll keep her here until you get back.
- Aye?
393
00:35:11,476 --> 00:35:13,376
- How does that grab ya?
- You gonna be here, eh?
394
00:35:13,478 --> 00:35:15,708
- Yeah.
- Right. If she gets back, right...
395
00:35:15,813 --> 00:35:17,872
tell her to fucking wait here
till I get back.
396
00:35:17,982 --> 00:35:20,576
If she wanders off, knock her out.
You slap her good for me, right?
397
00:35:20,685 --> 00:35:22,676
- Yeah, I'll tie her up.
- Aye.
398
00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:25,551
- You gonna be here, eh?
- Yeah. Oh, listen. What's her name again?
399
00:35:25,656 --> 00:35:27,556
- Maggie.
- Oh, yeah.
400
00:35:27,658 --> 00:35:29,626
Be back in a minute, right?
401
00:35:45,710 --> 00:35:47,678
Excuse me, love.
402
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,646
Hello!
403
00:35:51,749 --> 00:35:54,718
- Are you Maggie?
- Piss off!
404
00:36:01,225 --> 00:36:03,352
- Oh, you're Maggie.
- What?
405
00:36:03,461 --> 00:36:05,725
- Is your name Maggie?
- How'd you ken that?
406
00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:09,527
It's just a hunch.
Are you looking for the, uh, petulant dwarf?
407
00:36:09,634 --> 00:36:12,068
- Eh?
- Sprechen Sie Deutsches?
408
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,730
- Archie!
- Yeah, th - that's the fella.
409
00:36:14,839 --> 00:36:18,275
I was told to wait here for you.
You're Maggie, he's Archie, I'm nobody.
410
00:36:18,376 --> 00:36:20,844
- He's gone off looking for you, love.
- What, you've seen him?
411
00:36:20,945 --> 00:36:23,072
Look, would you just come
and sit over here now?
412
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,547
Fuck off, you dirty cunt.
413
00:36:25,650 --> 00:36:29,450
I know I've not had a bath for a good few seasons,
but there's no need to hurt my feelings.
414
00:36:29,554 --> 00:36:31,988
He'll be back in a minute.
415
00:36:32,089 --> 00:36:34,717
- What, he's been here?
- He's been here, he's been there.
416
00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:36,725
He's been all over the fuckin' shop.
417
00:36:36,827 --> 00:36:39,352
- Did he have the chips with him?
- He had a huge one on his shoulder.
418
00:36:39,463 --> 00:36:42,432
- Fuckin' wee radge!
- Come on. No need to knock the young lad.
419
00:36:42,533 --> 00:36:45,366
He's a wonderful exponent
of the old Socratic debate.
420
00:36:49,941 --> 00:36:53,069
Listen, love,
I've got this great idea.
421
00:36:53,177 --> 00:36:55,805
Why don't you have a little wander round,
see if you can find the wee lad?
422
00:36:55,913 --> 00:36:59,371
I'll wait here. And if he turns up,
I'll keep him here till you get back.
423
00:36:59,483 --> 00:37:02,281
I'm fucking starvin'.
424
00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:04,946
- Do you wanna get something to eat?
- He's got all the money, hasn't he?
425
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:07,024
- Who, laughing boy?
- Aye.
426
00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:11,322
- Well, I've got a few bob on me.
- What if he comes back and we're no here?
427
00:37:11,429 --> 00:37:14,398
- We'll leave him a note.
- He won't be able to read it.
428
00:37:16,634 --> 00:37:19,102
Well, we'll get him on his bleeper.
Come on.
429
00:37:32,950 --> 00:37:35,111
Can you feel all those vibrations?
430
00:37:35,219 --> 00:37:37,779
No.
431
00:37:37,888 --> 00:37:41,517
Just stand still a minute, love.
Try and feel it through your feet.
432
00:37:43,628 --> 00:37:46,825
Do you not get all those tremblings
and mumblings coming up through your bones?
433
00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:49,695
Not really, no.
434
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:53,236
Do you not get, like, a sense of, like,
a whole other world underneath all this?
435
00:37:53,337 --> 00:37:55,305
You know, like, the guts of London?
436
00:37:55,406 --> 00:37:57,874
What with all the tube trains
and everything, the city's viscera...
437
00:37:57,975 --> 00:38:01,103
and the subterranean fucking fistulas
and conduits and colons...
438
00:38:01,212 --> 00:38:03,680
and bunkers and dungeons and tombs
and all that.
439
00:38:03,781 --> 00:38:06,341
What, about hell and the sewers, like?
440
00:38:06,450 --> 00:38:09,579
You know that wherever you are in London,
you're only 30 feet away from a rat.
441
00:38:09,687 --> 00:38:10,580
Aye.
442
00:38:10,687 --> 00:38:12,451
- Does that freak you out?
- No.
443
00:38:12,556 --> 00:38:15,354
- Do you believe in hell?
- Aye.
444
00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:17,825
- So do you believe in the devil?
- Aye.
445
00:38:17,928 --> 00:38:20,897
- What do you think he looks like?
- He looks like that, doesn't he?
446
00:38:20,998 --> 00:38:24,297
What, a little nudist homonculus
with a pink quiff?
447
00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:27,132
- No, he looks like a snake.
- Let's have a look at that.
448
00:38:28,472 --> 00:38:31,168
- It's Archie, isn't it?
- It's my good luck charm.
449
00:38:31,275 --> 00:38:33,800
- Has it brought you much?
- Has it fuck.
450
00:38:33,911 --> 00:38:36,038
- Are you superstitious?
- No.
451
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,547
What do you wear
a good luck charm for then?
452
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:41,117
Are we gonna get something to eat
or what?
453
00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:48,150
Have you ever seen a dead body?
454
00:38:48,259 --> 00:38:50,659
Only me own.
455
00:38:55,666 --> 00:38:58,226
Where was you thinking
of sleeping tonight?
456
00:38:58,336 --> 00:39:01,237
- Don't know.
- Where did you kip down last night?
457
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:03,466
- In the park.
- Was that not cold?
458
00:39:03,574 --> 00:39:05,667
Aye.
459
00:39:05,776 --> 00:39:07,744
Where are you thinking of sleeping, like?
460
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:09,813
Wherever I drop.
461
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:14,079
- How old are you, love?
- Twenty-three.
462
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:17,279
- Do your mum and dad know you're down here?
- No.
463
00:39:17,388 --> 00:39:20,152
- Will they not be worried about you?
- No.
464
00:39:20,257 --> 00:39:22,225
How old are you, like?
465
00:39:23,294 --> 00:39:26,195
- How old do you think I am?
- About 40.
466
00:39:28,099 --> 00:39:30,533
- I'm 27.
- Oh, get the fuck.
467
00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:41,808
- Where the fuck have you been?
- Where the fuck have you been?
468
00:39:41,912 --> 00:39:45,541
- Eh?
- I've been waitin' on you!
469
00:39:45,649 --> 00:39:48,209
- What the fuck you been doin' now?
- You've got all the money!
470
00:39:48,319 --> 00:39:50,617
- I've been fucking looking all over for ya!
- Well, I was with him.
471
00:39:50,721 --> 00:39:54,521
- What do you - Fuck!
- I was fucking with him!
472
00:39:54,625 --> 00:39:56,752
- Daft cunt.
- Fuckin' ask him!
473
00:39:56,861 --> 00:39:58,761
- Fuck off!
- Fuckin' ask him!
474
00:39:58,863 --> 00:40:00,990
- Fuckin' daft bitch! Eh?
- Where's my chips?
475
00:40:01,098 --> 00:40:04,397
That was fuckin' years ago.
476
00:40:04,502 --> 00:40:07,630
- Fucking here are your fucking chips!
- Don't come near me!
477
00:40:07,738 --> 00:40:09,638
Fucking cunt!
478
00:40:54,685 --> 00:40:56,653
Did he hurt you?
479
00:40:58,522 --> 00:41:00,547
What do you mean?
480
00:41:00,658 --> 00:41:04,185
You know, when you were fucking.
481
00:41:04,295 --> 00:41:06,490
Why? Did he hurt you?
482
00:41:10,367 --> 00:41:13,734
Do you think you were made
for each other?
483
00:41:13,838 --> 00:41:16,932
- Well, we went out for a year.
- A year?
484
00:41:17,041 --> 00:41:19,669
Fucking hell, give me a year!
485
00:41:21,679 --> 00:41:25,137
Do you ever feel like topping yourself?
486
00:41:27,351 --> 00:41:31,481
- Oh, God. I wish I was at home.
- Glad I'm not.
487
00:41:31,589 --> 00:41:35,582
Yeah, well, I don't mean with me mum and dad.
I just mean in Manchester.
488
00:41:35,693 --> 00:41:39,185
- You reckon it's different there, do you?
- Yeah. People talked to you.
489
00:41:39,296 --> 00:41:42,754
- Well, I'm talking to you.
- Yeah, but you talk a pile of shit.
490
00:41:44,568 --> 00:41:49,528
Doesn't matter where you are anyway.
Might as well be in Zimbabwe with Sandra.
491
00:41:51,742 --> 00:41:54,540
Are you gonna do any washing up
before she gets back?
492
00:41:54,645 --> 00:41:57,773
Yeah, of course I am.
When is she getting back?
493
00:41:58,916 --> 00:42:01,146
Sunday.
494
00:42:01,252 --> 00:42:04,050
Well, it's four fucking days away, innit?
495
00:42:14,064 --> 00:42:17,192
"Thou shalt not consent unto him,
nor harken unto him...
496
00:42:17,301 --> 00:42:19,997
"neither shall thou pity him,
neither shall thou stare...
497
00:42:20,104 --> 00:42:22,766
"neither shall thou conceal him,
but thou shalt surely kill him...
498
00:42:22,873 --> 00:42:25,000
with thy hand" -
499
00:42:37,955 --> 00:42:39,923
Lost me place now.
500
00:42:41,759 --> 00:42:44,227
"And thou shalt stone him
with stones till he die...
501
00:42:44,328 --> 00:42:47,456
"because he has sought to force thee away
from the Lord, thy God, and" -
502
00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:49,863
Fuckin' hell.
Why hast thou forsaken me?
503
00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,867
Bastard.
504
00:42:59,443 --> 00:43:01,343
Hmm.
505
00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:20,796
Is that it now then?
Are you through with the regulation pacing?
506
00:43:20,898 --> 00:43:22,866
Are you all set to deploy
the fatuous sarcasm?
507
00:43:22,967 --> 00:43:25,162
Well, I've beaten you to it.
508
00:43:25,269 --> 00:43:27,396
Would you like a mint?
509
00:43:27,504 --> 00:43:30,166
What's this, a new policy?
Ply the culprit with menthol?
510
00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:32,242
Extra strong.
511
00:43:35,346 --> 00:43:37,507
I get through four packets
of these a night.
512
00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:40,607
You want to be careful, don't you?
I don't want your poxy mint.
513
00:43:40,718 --> 00:43:44,552
Oh. Waste not, want not.
514
00:43:44,655 --> 00:43:46,520
And other clich�s.
515
00:43:46,624 --> 00:43:49,354
Ah, but a clich� is full of truth,
otherwise it wouldn't be a clich�.
516
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:51,428
Which is in itself a clich�.
517
00:43:54,865 --> 00:43:57,925
- Tell me, have you read the book of Hosea?
- What now?
518
00:43:58,035 --> 00:44:01,562
- "For they are the children of whores."
- There's no need to get personal, mate.
519
00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:06,198
What, will you stop fucking about?
If you're gonna stick the boot in, get on with it.
520
00:44:20,224 --> 00:44:22,158
Have you got nowhere to go then?
521
00:44:22,259 --> 00:44:25,626
I've got an infinite number of fucking places
to go. The problem is where you stay.
522
00:44:25,729 --> 00:44:29,096
- You with me?
- Indeed. Yes.
523
00:44:29,199 --> 00:44:31,463
So, listen, is there much security
in this job?
524
00:44:33,137 --> 00:44:35,162
Too much.
525
00:44:39,043 --> 00:44:42,843
What is it that goes on in this particular
postmodernist gas chamber?
526
00:44:44,048 --> 00:44:46,881
Nothing. It's empty.
527
00:44:47,918 --> 00:44:50,910
So what is it that you're guarding?
528
00:44:51,021 --> 00:44:53,319
Space.
529
00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:56,656
You guarding space?
530
00:44:56,760 --> 00:45:00,355
That's stupid, isn't it, because someone could
break in there and steal all the fucking space...
531
00:45:00,464 --> 00:45:02,932
and you wouldn't know it had gone,
would you?
532
00:45:04,068 --> 00:45:05,968
Good point.
533
00:45:08,739 --> 00:45:10,639
All right.
534
00:45:52,216 --> 00:45:56,846
All right, pally, I appreciate you've got a job to do,
and it's, "Move on! Move on! Move on!"
535
00:45:56,954 --> 00:45:58,922
But it's fucking freezing out there,
and I was a Caesarean.
536
00:45:59,022 --> 00:46:00,922
- Come on, quick.
- What?
537
00:46:01,024 --> 00:46:02,924
Come in.
538
00:46:06,630 --> 00:46:09,428
- You serious?
- Through that door, smartish.
539
00:46:15,939 --> 00:46:18,407
It's a funny smell in here.
540
00:46:18,509 --> 00:46:20,409
Come on.
541
00:46:23,847 --> 00:46:26,315
Quite a waste of space,
all this, isn't it?
542
00:46:26,416 --> 00:46:29,078
Could sleep a thousand
flea-bitten tramps in here.
543
00:46:29,186 --> 00:46:31,279
What's all that?
544
00:46:31,388 --> 00:46:33,856
They say it's a fucking jungle out there.
Have you seen it in here?
545
00:46:33,957 --> 00:46:36,425
I mean, where's the bloody monkeys?
546
00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:38,791
Look, dad! Will you just back off?
547
00:46:38,896 --> 00:46:41,364
- What is it you're after?
- You must be invisible.
548
00:46:41,465 --> 00:46:44,400
- What?
- I must be seen.
549
00:46:44,501 --> 00:46:46,401
Follow me.
550
00:46:59,383 --> 00:47:01,283
Sit there.
551
00:47:02,786 --> 00:47:06,620
- Am I allowed to smoke in here?
- No. You'll set off the alarm.
552
00:47:08,058 --> 00:47:10,492
Now, I'm not gonna look at you.
553
00:47:10,594 --> 00:47:12,994
It mustn't look
like I'm talking to anybody.
554
00:47:13,096 --> 00:47:15,963
If you're seen in here,
I'm out of a job.
555
00:47:16,066 --> 00:47:18,330
See what I mean?
556
00:47:18,435 --> 00:47:21,404
If they see you talking to yourself like that,
you'll be out of a job anyway.
557
00:47:21,505 --> 00:47:24,065
They'll come after you
with a big butterfly net.
558
00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:27,632
Oh, yes.
I'll stand like this then.
559
00:47:29,479 --> 00:47:31,640
- Well, that's better, isn't it?
- What?
560
00:47:31,748 --> 00:47:33,739
In, out of the cold.
561
00:47:35,252 --> 00:47:37,720
Yeah.
562
00:47:37,821 --> 00:47:39,789
Yeah. Thanks very much.
563
00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:45,718
It's funny being inside, innit?
564
00:47:45,829 --> 00:47:49,424
'Cause when you are inside,
you're still actually outside, aren't ya?
565
00:47:49,533 --> 00:47:51,831
And then you can say,
when you're outside, you're inside...
566
00:47:51,935 --> 00:47:54,301
because you're always inside your head.
567
00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:56,304
- Do you follow that?
- Yes.
568
00:47:56,406 --> 00:47:59,534
Sometimes when I'm sitting here,
I turn the lights off, sit in the dark.
569
00:47:59,643 --> 00:48:02,737
That always makes me feel
like I'm sitting outside.
570
00:48:02,846 --> 00:48:05,474
So, what do you do with yourself
here every nighttime?
571
00:48:05,582 --> 00:48:07,982
I read, and I think.
572
00:48:08,085 --> 00:48:10,315
What do you think about?
573
00:48:10,420 --> 00:48:12,547
- I think about my life.
- And is that horrendous for you?
574
00:48:12,656 --> 00:48:14,317
No, certainly not.
575
00:48:14,424 --> 00:48:18,360
Is it horrendous for your wife?
Are you married, mate?
576
00:48:18,462 --> 00:48:20,726
Well, technically I'm married...
577
00:48:20,831 --> 00:48:25,165
although my wife is 5,919 miles away
and I haven't seen her for 13 years.
578
00:48:25,269 --> 00:48:27,999
It's all going very well then?
Where is she?
579
00:48:28,105 --> 00:48:30,073
- She's in Bangkok.
- Saucy.
580
00:48:34,311 --> 00:48:37,610
- They're not worth it, are they?
- Whores and harlots.
581
00:48:38,782 --> 00:48:40,875
When was the last time you had a fuck?
582
00:48:43,587 --> 00:48:45,646
Is that an embarrassing question for you?
583
00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:48,486
It is, rather. Yes.
584
00:48:48,592 --> 00:48:50,526
I'm sorry.
585
00:48:52,796 --> 00:48:54,696
Step this way.
586
00:48:54,798 --> 00:48:57,596
I want to reveal to you
the mysteries of my trade.
587
00:49:01,738 --> 00:49:05,071
- What do you think that is?
- A, uh, Dadaist nun?
588
00:49:05,175 --> 00:49:08,975
Wrong. This little lady
is the representative of my employer.
589
00:49:09,079 --> 00:49:11,513
- How do you do, love?
- Watch.
590
00:49:11,615 --> 00:49:15,244
Very Zen.
591
00:49:15,352 --> 00:49:20,790
My existence at this moment, on this spot,
is now trapped and recorded.
592
00:49:20,891 --> 00:49:24,588
Twenty-three moments, 23 sites,
every two hours.
593
00:49:24,695 --> 00:49:27,061
That's my job.
594
00:49:27,164 --> 00:49:29,860
Well, could they not train
a tall chimpanzee to do that?
595
00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:33,425
Or a small chimpanzee
with a bigger gizmo?
596
00:49:33,537 --> 00:49:35,664
I expect they could, yes.
597
00:49:35,772 --> 00:49:38,138
- What's your name, son?
- Brian.
598
00:49:38,241 --> 00:49:40,209
Hello, Brian. Johnny.
599
00:49:40,310 --> 00:49:42,244
Well, Brian, congratulations.
600
00:49:42,346 --> 00:49:45,975
You succeeded in convincing me that you
do have the most tedious fucking job...
601
00:49:46,083 --> 00:49:48,051
in England.
602
00:49:49,319 --> 00:49:51,287
Come on.
603
00:50:02,065 --> 00:50:05,796
- Yes, it is a boring job. Bloody boring, actually.
- All right, all right.
604
00:50:05,902 --> 00:50:10,100
But all you can see is the tip of the iceberg,
the present, the tedious here and now.
605
00:50:10,207 --> 00:50:14,268
What you're incapable of seeing is
the rest of time, the rest of the iceberg -
606
00:50:14,378 --> 00:50:16,972
past and the future, my future...
607
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,640
which is a very interesting place to be.
608
00:50:19,750 --> 00:50:21,945
The good thing about this job
is that it gives me time and space...
609
00:50:22,052 --> 00:50:25,488
to contemplate the future at my leisure,
whilst the city sleeps...
610
00:50:25,589 --> 00:50:29,582
free from the cacophonous curiosity
of the hoi polloi.
611
00:50:29,693 --> 00:50:32,161
So, you see, it's not a boring job.
612
00:50:33,397 --> 00:50:35,490
And I'm not boring either.
613
00:50:35,599 --> 00:50:39,729
- Am I allowed to smoke on the stairs?
- No. There's alarms all over the building.
614
00:50:41,104 --> 00:50:44,403
So you think you can make the present palatable
by projecting into the future?
615
00:50:44,508 --> 00:50:47,807
You're living in the past, pal.
It's the future that fucks you up, Brian.
616
00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:49,970
It's the maggot in the apple.
617
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,548
See, you're all pissed off
with the present, Bri...
618
00:50:52,649 --> 00:50:54,549
and there's nothing wrong
with the present.
619
00:50:54,651 --> 00:50:58,109
The present's fine. The present's perfect.
The present's peachy fucking creamy.
620
00:50:58,221 --> 00:51:01,679
The only thing wrong with the present
is the bastard doesn't exist...
621
00:51:01,792 --> 00:51:04,590
because the present is the future,
and the future is the past...
622
00:51:04,694 --> 00:51:06,992
and it's all the same
fucking bag of bones anyway.
623
00:51:07,097 --> 00:51:09,565
It's a constant process
of coming into being and passing away...
624
00:51:09,666 --> 00:51:11,566
coming into being and passing away.
625
00:51:11,668 --> 00:51:14,796
- The future is now.
- But the present does exist. We're in it now.
626
00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:18,306
You were just then, when you said it, but you're not
in it now, you're not in it now, you're not in it now.
627
00:51:18,408 --> 00:51:21,172
You're forever being kicked up the ass
by the future. You with me?
628
00:51:21,278 --> 00:51:23,212
That's what I mean.
629
00:51:23,313 --> 00:51:26,282
See, I'm in the present,
but I'm not in the present.
630
00:51:26,383 --> 00:51:28,647
I'm in the future.
631
00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:31,016
Exactly.
632
00:51:31,121 --> 00:51:35,421
Has nobody not told you, Brian, that you've got
this kind of gleeful preoccupation with the future?
633
00:51:35,525 --> 00:51:37,823
I wouldn't even mind,
but you don't even have a fucking future.
634
00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:40,123
I don't have a future.
Nobody has a future.
635
00:51:40,230 --> 00:51:44,030
The party's over. Take a look around you, man.
It's all breaking up.
636
00:51:44,134 --> 00:51:46,762
Are you not familiar with the
Book of Revelations of Saint John...
637
00:51:46,870 --> 00:51:49,168
the final book of the Bible
prophesying the Apocalypse?
638
00:51:49,272 --> 00:51:51,365
Yes, as it happens, I'm familiar
with all the books of the Bible.
639
00:51:51,475 --> 00:51:55,571
I'm very happy for you. "He forced everyone
to receive a mark on his right hand...
640
00:51:55,679 --> 00:51:58,876
"or on his forehead so that no one
shall be able to buy or sell...
641
00:51:58,982 --> 00:52:01,280
"unless he has the mark,
which is the name of the beast...
642
00:52:01,384 --> 00:52:03,852
or the number of his name,
and the number of the beast is 666."
643
00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:05,922
- 666! I know about it.
- Great.
644
00:52:06,022 --> 00:52:09,287
I know about Nostradamus.
Nostradamus talked about three brothers.
645
00:52:09,392 --> 00:52:13,920
Did he mean the Kennedy brothers or was he talking
about three bits of the Soviet Union?
646
00:52:14,030 --> 00:52:16,498
- You see? You just can't tell.
- Fuck Nostradamus!
647
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:20,195
I'm not talking about Nostradamus or Mother Shipton
or Russell Grant or Mystic-fucking-Meg.
648
00:52:20,303 --> 00:52:23,204
I'm talking about the holy fucking book!
649
00:52:23,306 --> 00:52:27,003
What can such a specific prophecy mean?
650
00:52:27,110 --> 00:52:29,544
What is the mark?
651
00:52:29,646 --> 00:52:33,343
Well, the mark, Brian, is the bar code,
the ubiquitous bar code...
652
00:52:33,450 --> 00:52:35,782
that you'll find on every bog roll
and every packet of johnnies...
653
00:52:35,886 --> 00:52:37,786
and every poxy pork pie.
654
00:52:37,888 --> 00:52:41,517
And every fucking bar code is divided
into two parts by three markers.
655
00:52:41,625 --> 00:52:44,890
And those three markers are always represented
by the number six.
656
00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:47,259
Six, six, six.
657
00:52:47,364 --> 00:52:52,267
Now, what does it say? "No one shall be able
to buy or sell without that mark."
658
00:52:52,369 --> 00:52:56,169
And now, what they're planning to do
in order to eradicate all credit card fraud...
659
00:52:56,273 --> 00:52:59,242
and in order to precipitate
a totally cashless society...
660
00:52:59,342 --> 00:53:02,311
what they're planning to do,
what they've already tested on the American troops...
661
00:53:02,412 --> 00:53:06,974
they're gonna subcutaneously laser-tattoo
that mark onto your right hand or forehead.
662
00:53:07,083 --> 00:53:09,210
They're gonna replace plastic with flesh.
663
00:53:09,319 --> 00:53:10,809
Fact!
664
00:53:10,921 --> 00:53:14,288
In the same Book of Revelations,
when the seven seals are broken open...
665
00:53:14,391 --> 00:53:17,019
on the Day of Judgment
and the seven angels blow the trumpets...
666
00:53:17,127 --> 00:53:20,893
when the third angel blows her bugle,
wormwood will fall from the sky...
667
00:53:20,997 --> 00:53:23,795
wormwood will poison a third part
of all the waters...
668
00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:26,994
and a third part of all the land,
and many, many, many people will die.
669
00:53:27,103 --> 00:53:30,800
Now, do you know what
the Russian translation for "wormwood" is?
670
00:53:30,907 --> 00:53:32,841
- No.
- Chernobyl.
671
00:53:32,943 --> 00:53:34,410
Fact!
672
00:53:34,511 --> 00:53:37,139
On August the 18th, 1999...
673
00:53:37,247 --> 00:53:40,705
the planets of our solar system
are gonna line up into the shape of a cross.
674
00:53:40,817 --> 00:53:43,285
- I don't believe in astrology.
- I'm not talking about astrology!
675
00:53:43,386 --> 00:53:45,286
I'm talking about astronomy.
676
00:53:45,388 --> 00:53:49,188
They're gonna line up in the fixed signs
of Aquarius, Leo, Taurus and Scorpio...
677
00:53:49,292 --> 00:53:52,750
which just happen to correspond
to the four beasts of the Apocalypse...
678
00:53:52,862 --> 00:53:54,762
as mentioned in the Book of Daniel.
679
00:53:54,864 --> 00:53:56,764
Another fucking fact!
680
00:53:56,866 --> 00:53:59,892
Do you want me to go on?
The end of the world is nigh, Bri.
681
00:54:00,003 --> 00:54:01,971
The game is up!
682
00:54:03,573 --> 00:54:05,939
I don't believe that.
683
00:54:06,042 --> 00:54:08,510
Life can't just come to a stop.
684
00:54:13,783 --> 00:54:16,251
All right, I'm not saying
that life will end...
685
00:54:16,353 --> 00:54:19,345
or the world will end
or the universe will cease to exist...
686
00:54:19,456 --> 00:54:21,356
but man will cease to exist.
687
00:54:21,458 --> 00:54:24,894
Just like the dinosaurs passed into extinction,
the same thing will happen to us.
688
00:54:24,995 --> 00:54:28,556
We're not fucking important.
We're just a crap idea.
689
00:54:28,665 --> 00:54:31,031
I'm not gonna cease to exist.
690
00:54:31,134 --> 00:54:33,227
I'm gonna be here in the future.
691
00:54:33,336 --> 00:54:36,931
What is this fucking fixation
with the future?
692
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,009
Listen, pal,
I've got chronic systolic palpitations...
693
00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:42,135
and acute fucking neuralgia.
694
00:54:42,245 --> 00:54:45,112
- What about these toilets? Can I smoke in here?
- No, you fucking can't!
695
00:54:46,850 --> 00:54:48,875
- Let me ask you a question.
- What?
696
00:54:48,985 --> 00:54:51,613
Have you ever had the sense that you've lived
in a time different from this one?
697
00:54:51,721 --> 00:54:53,689
- What, you mean, like, in a past life?
- Could be, yeah.
698
00:54:53,790 --> 00:54:56,759
- Well, in my past life, I was dead.
- Ah, well, you see, I wasn't.
699
00:54:56,860 --> 00:54:59,829
I know I was here in the past,
before I was born.
700
00:54:59,929 --> 00:55:02,557
So I know I'm gonna be here
in the future, after I've died.
701
00:55:02,666 --> 00:55:07,968
I see. And in this alternative existence,
did you still have the same noxious body odor?
702
00:55:08,071 --> 00:55:10,699
There's no need to be personal.
It's what I believe.
703
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:12,934
- Shall I tell you what I believe?
- You don't believe in anything.
704
00:55:13,043 --> 00:55:15,477
- Oh, I do, Brian.
- Yeah? What do you believe?
705
00:55:15,578 --> 00:55:19,742
Do you think that the amoeba ever dreamed
that it would evolve into the frog?
706
00:55:19,849 --> 00:55:21,749
Of course it didn't.
707
00:55:21,851 --> 00:55:25,150
And when that first frog shimmied out
of the water and employed its vocal cords...
708
00:55:25,255 --> 00:55:28,224
in order to attract a mate
or to retard a predator...
709
00:55:28,325 --> 00:55:31,123
do you think that that frog ever imagined
that that incipient croak...
710
00:55:31,227 --> 00:55:34,390
would evolve into all the languages of the world,
into all the literature of the world?
711
00:55:34,497 --> 00:55:36,397
Of course it fucking didn't.
712
00:55:36,499 --> 00:55:40,060
And just as that froggy could never possibly
have conceived of Shakespeare...
713
00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:43,003
so we can never possibly
imagine our destiny.
714
00:55:43,106 --> 00:55:45,734
I know what my destiny is.
715
00:55:45,842 --> 00:55:48,811
Yeah, but what you're experiencing,
as far as I can gather...
716
00:55:48,912 --> 00:55:52,279
with all these manifestations of, uh,
regression and precognition...
717
00:55:52,382 --> 00:55:55,351
and transmigratory astral
fucking chatterings...
718
00:55:55,452 --> 00:55:58,910
is just the equivalent
of that first primeval grunt...
719
00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:01,149
because evolution isn't over.
720
00:56:01,257 --> 00:56:04,556
Man isn't the be-all
and fucking end-all.
721
00:56:06,062 --> 00:56:09,429
Look, if you take the whole of time,
represented by one year...
722
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:12,228
we're only in the first few moments
of the first of January.
723
00:56:12,335 --> 00:56:14,303
There's a long way to go.
724
00:56:14,404 --> 00:56:17,134
Only now we're not gonna sprout
extra limbs and wings and fins...
725
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:19,538
because evolution itself is evolving.
726
00:56:19,642 --> 00:56:23,442
And whereas you, through some process
of extrasensory recall...
727
00:56:23,546 --> 00:56:27,175
might imagine that you were some -
I don't know - some 17th-century Dutch girl...
728
00:56:27,283 --> 00:56:29,251
living in a windmill in old Amsterdam...
729
00:56:29,352 --> 00:56:33,550
one day you'll realize that you've had not
just one or two past or future existences...
730
00:56:33,656 --> 00:56:37,490
but that you were, and are, everybody
and everything that has ever been...
731
00:56:37,594 --> 00:56:40,062
or will ever be.
732
00:56:40,163 --> 00:56:42,723
Hang on a minute.
You just contradicted yourself.
733
00:56:42,832 --> 00:56:44,732
Oh, how'd you make that out?
734
00:56:44,834 --> 00:56:48,031
Downstairs you were predicting the end of the world.
Now you're talking about the future.
735
00:56:48,138 --> 00:56:50,834
- How do you explain that, eh?
- Easy.
736
00:56:50,940 --> 00:56:53,204
When it comes,
the Apocalypse itself...
737
00:56:53,309 --> 00:56:56,938
will be part of the process
of that leap of evolution.
738
00:56:57,046 --> 00:56:59,674
Yeah. Well, whatever happens...
739
00:56:59,783 --> 00:57:02,251
mankind will not cease to exist.
740
00:57:02,352 --> 00:57:06,618
He must. By the very definition of apocalypse,
mankind must cease to exist...
741
00:57:06,723 --> 00:57:08,816
at least in a material form.
742
00:57:08,925 --> 00:57:10,825
What do you mean,
"in a material form"?
743
00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:12,895
- Well, he'll evolve.
- What into?
744
00:57:12,996 --> 00:57:15,521
Into something that transcends matter.
745
00:57:15,632 --> 00:57:18,294
Into a species of pure thought.
Are you with me?
746
00:57:18,401 --> 00:57:20,528
Yeah. Like a ghost.
747
00:57:20,637 --> 00:57:23,606
No, not like a fucking ghost,
you big girl's blouse!
748
00:57:23,706 --> 00:57:26,334
Into something that's, like,
well beyond our comprehension.
749
00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:28,411
Into a universal consciousness.
750
00:57:28,511 --> 00:57:32,003
Into God, who is,
by the same principle...
751
00:57:32,115 --> 00:57:34,743
that time is.
752
00:57:34,851 --> 00:57:39,117
- You don't believe in God.
- Of course I believe in God.
753
00:57:42,258 --> 00:57:44,726
You see, the thing is, Brian...
754
00:57:45,962 --> 00:57:48,294
that God is a hateful god.
755
00:57:49,866 --> 00:57:51,766
Must be...
756
00:57:51,868 --> 00:57:55,565
because if God is good,
then why is there evil in the world?
757
00:57:55,672 --> 00:57:59,199
Why is there pain and hate
and greed and war?
758
00:58:00,543 --> 00:58:02,511
Doesn't make sense.
759
00:58:04,380 --> 00:58:07,975
But if God is a nasty bastard, then you can say,
"Why is there good in the world?
760
00:58:08,084 --> 00:58:10,951
Why is there love and hope and joy?"
761
00:58:13,122 --> 00:58:17,650
Well, let's face it. Good exists
in order to be fucked up by evil.
762
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:20,991
The very existence of good
enables evil to flourish.
763
00:58:21,097 --> 00:58:23,725
Therefore, God is bad.
764
00:58:25,134 --> 00:58:28,035
And it doesn't matter how many past
or future existences you have...
765
00:58:28,137 --> 00:58:31,800
because they're all gonna be riddled
with grief and anguish...
766
00:58:31,908 --> 00:58:33,876
and sickness and death.
767
00:58:36,012 --> 00:58:38,344
You see, Brian, God doesn't love you.
768
00:58:39,382 --> 00:58:41,976
God despises you.
769
00:58:42,085 --> 00:58:44,053
So there's no hope...
770
00:58:45,321 --> 00:58:48,085
and mankind is just
a component of the device...
771
00:58:48,191 --> 00:58:51,092
by which the devil creates itself.
772
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:53,162
Are you with me?
773
00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:57,299
You see, what I'm saying,
basically, is...
774
00:58:57,400 --> 00:58:59,868
you can't make an omelet
without cracking a few eggs...
775
00:58:59,969 --> 00:59:02,335
and humanity is just a cracked egg...
776
00:59:02,438 --> 00:59:05,896
and the omelet... stinks.
777
00:59:14,183 --> 00:59:16,617
Yeah.
778
00:59:35,004 --> 00:59:38,030
Oh. And what's through
the round window?
779
00:59:43,346 --> 00:59:47,248
- Who's that?
- Good question.
780
00:59:47,350 --> 00:59:49,648
Have you seen her before?
781
00:59:49,752 --> 00:59:52,220
Oh, yeah.
She's there every night.
782
00:59:54,223 --> 00:59:57,818
- Good-looking young girl, isn't she?
- She's all right.
783
00:59:57,927 --> 01:00:00,157
Does she ever have fellas up there?
784
01:00:00,263 --> 01:00:02,163
No.
785
01:00:03,499 --> 01:00:06,468
Have you ever seen her, like,
you know, totally naked?
786
01:00:09,005 --> 01:00:10,905
Once.
787
01:00:12,175 --> 01:00:14,075
What's she up to, eh?
788
01:00:14,177 --> 01:00:17,203
I mean, what's her game,
taunting people in the middle of the night, eh?
789
01:00:18,514 --> 01:00:22,314
She probably gets a kick out of it,
like you get a kick out of watching her.
790
01:00:22,418 --> 01:00:25,444
- I'm doing no such thing.
- Well, I am.
791
01:00:25,555 --> 01:00:27,523
Have you got a hard-on?
792
01:00:28,658 --> 01:00:31,525
No, I haven't, as a matter of fact.
793
01:00:31,628 --> 01:00:34,096
You wouldn't tell me if you had,
would you?
794
01:00:34,197 --> 01:00:36,324
No, I don't think I would.
795
01:00:40,436 --> 01:00:42,904
- Did you make these yourself?
- I did, yeah.
796
01:00:43,006 --> 01:00:44,906
I thought so.
797
01:00:45,008 --> 01:00:48,273
Well, listen, I might be back
in a couple of minutes.
798
01:00:48,378 --> 01:00:51,176
Be good.
If you can't be good, be careful.
799
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:54,147
- And other clich�s.
- Yeah.
800
01:00:54,250 --> 01:00:57,708
Well, tatty-bye, Bri.
801
01:00:59,856 --> 01:01:01,756
Yes.
802
01:01:14,103 --> 01:01:17,129
Charles? What?
803
01:01:21,644 --> 01:01:23,908
Hello?
804
01:01:24,013 --> 01:01:26,573
What the fuck's going on?
Where the bloody hell's Dorfman?
805
01:01:26,683 --> 01:01:29,481
The bastard's cost me 30 grand already.
806
01:01:33,389 --> 01:01:36,358
Fuck!
807
01:01:36,459 --> 01:01:38,552
Sorry about that.
808
01:01:47,470 --> 01:01:49,438
Oh, I'm sorry, love.
809
01:01:49,539 --> 01:01:52,372
That's not you on the top floor,
is it, dancin'?
810
01:01:52,475 --> 01:01:54,375
Yeah. Why?
811
01:01:54,477 --> 01:01:57,708
Oh, right.
Um, you're a lovely mover.
812
01:02:00,049 --> 01:02:02,074
I'm sorry, pet.
I'm, uh, freaking you out.
813
01:02:02,185 --> 01:02:04,813
- Where's Bhapu?
- Bhapu?
814
01:02:04,921 --> 01:02:07,719
- It's cold.
- Listen, I'd better explain meself.
815
01:02:07,824 --> 01:02:10,292
You see, me brother's working
as an "insecurity" guard...
816
01:02:10,393 --> 01:02:13,885
in that fucking monstrosity round the back,
and we can see straight into your room.
817
01:02:14,997 --> 01:02:17,227
It's very nice.
818
01:02:17,333 --> 01:02:20,200
Anyway, he's got his boss coming round,
so he's told me to schlep round the streets...
819
01:02:20,303 --> 01:02:23,329
for a couple of hours, and I said I'd come
and say hello to Isadora Duncan...
820
01:02:23,439 --> 01:02:25,737
keep you company.
821
01:02:25,842 --> 01:02:29,243
I know it's a bit cheeky, but, uh,
I'm a cheeky young monkey.
822
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:34,012
- Do you want to come in?
- Is that all right?
823
01:02:43,226 --> 01:02:46,218
Hmm. How long have you been growing that?
824
01:02:46,329 --> 01:02:49,298
- About two inches.
- Hmm. It's nice.
825
01:02:50,366 --> 01:02:53,028
You've had a few, haven't you, love?
826
01:02:53,136 --> 01:02:56,105
- Do you want to come in?
- Thought you'd never ask.
827
01:03:07,016 --> 01:03:10,247
- Am I allowed to smoke in here?
- Yeah.
828
01:03:10,353 --> 01:03:12,947
Thank Christ for that.
829
01:03:13,055 --> 01:03:15,023
Do you want a drink?
830
01:03:16,092 --> 01:03:18,925
- Mmm.
- I think I better have, don't you?
831
01:03:19,028 --> 01:03:21,895
Got a bit of fucking catching up to do, huh?
832
01:03:22,932 --> 01:03:25,230
Here's to the monarchy.
833
01:03:26,602 --> 01:03:28,297
What's funny?
834
01:03:28,404 --> 01:03:30,372
I'm not laughing.
835
01:03:31,774 --> 01:03:34,242
So do you live here on your own, yeah?
836
01:03:36,546 --> 01:03:38,639
Is this what you're reading?
837
01:03:38,748 --> 01:03:41,478
Jane Austen by Emma.
838
01:03:41,584 --> 01:03:44,382
- It's my favorite book.
- Is it really?
839
01:03:46,522 --> 01:03:48,490
I don't read much myself.
840
01:03:57,166 --> 01:04:00,033
You from Ireland?
841
01:04:00,136 --> 01:04:03,663
No. Why?
842
01:04:05,208 --> 01:04:07,199
What's that, a damp patch?
843
01:04:08,544 --> 01:04:10,444
Oh.
844
01:04:12,248 --> 01:04:14,546
I never noticed that before.
845
01:04:31,934 --> 01:04:34,368
How's it going inside there?
846
01:04:35,404 --> 01:04:38,032
Mmm. Baby.
847
01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:45,475
Baby.
848
01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:00,628
How old are you, love?
849
01:05:03,299 --> 01:05:06,029
It's funny, 'cause from over there,
you look a lot younger.
850
01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,565
I think me big brother's
quite taken with you.
851
01:05:09,672 --> 01:05:12,334
He's up there every night,
having a bit of a wank about you.
852
01:05:12,441 --> 01:05:15,239
Are you with me?
853
01:06:06,529 --> 01:06:08,292
What's the matter?
854
01:06:09,365 --> 01:06:11,663
Don't do that.
855
01:06:11,767 --> 01:06:13,860
What, that?
856
01:06:13,970 --> 01:06:15,437
Or that?
857
01:06:17,773 --> 01:06:19,741
Don't you like that?
858
01:06:21,043 --> 01:06:23,011
You don't have to hurt me.
859
01:06:25,781 --> 01:06:27,578
I'm sorry.
860
01:07:41,357 --> 01:07:42,915
Bite me.
861
01:07:45,528 --> 01:07:47,496
Fucking bite me.
862
01:07:49,799 --> 01:07:51,926
- Come on.
- Hey!
863
01:07:52,034 --> 01:07:54,002
Hey! Hey!
864
01:08:14,623 --> 01:08:16,591
Who's this?
865
01:08:18,661 --> 01:08:20,629
Who's this?
866
01:09:01,036 --> 01:09:03,436
Please, will you?
867
01:09:37,806 --> 01:09:39,364
I can't, love.
868
01:09:42,178 --> 01:09:44,146
You look like me mother.
869
01:09:59,395 --> 01:10:02,364
Think you can recapture your youth
by fuckin' it?
870
01:10:05,134 --> 01:10:08,365
You don't wanna fuck me.
You'll catch something cruel.
871
01:11:08,931 --> 01:11:10,831
Bonjour.
872
01:11:10,933 --> 01:11:13,333
What's going on?
What are you doing here?
873
01:11:13,435 --> 01:11:16,836
Well, I was over here, like this,
but that didn't really work for me...
874
01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:18,839
so I thought I'd try over here.
875
01:11:18,941 --> 01:11:21,842
But I don't think there's much future
in this one either.
876
01:11:21,944 --> 01:11:25,004
Fuckin' hell.
Have you got any suggestions?
877
01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:27,844
- Nope.
- So what do you do now?
878
01:11:28,917 --> 01:11:31,317
- I'm gonna get some breakfast.
- Yeah, I could do with something to eat.
879
01:11:31,420 --> 01:11:33,820
- Can I come with ya?
- Have you got any money?
880
01:11:33,922 --> 01:11:36,823
- Nope.
- Well, how are you gonna pay for it?
881
01:11:36,925 --> 01:11:38,825
I'm not.
882
01:11:38,927 --> 01:11:41,953
Well, I'm hungry.
883
01:11:44,533 --> 01:11:47,991
- Did you have to go and beat her up?
- I never beat her up.
884
01:11:50,205 --> 01:11:53,299
- You shagged her though?
- No.
885
01:12:01,216 --> 01:12:03,184
You don't believe me, do you?
886
01:12:05,020 --> 01:12:08,217
- She's older than you.
- Bollocks.
887
01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:10,292
Poached egg.
888
01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:16,128
That skirt's a bit short, innit, love?
It's disgraceful.
889
01:12:23,839 --> 01:12:27,297
- What's this?
- That's where I'm gonna live.
890
01:12:29,144 --> 01:12:31,112
Where is it?
891
01:12:31,213 --> 01:12:33,181
Ireland.
892
01:12:33,282 --> 01:12:35,682
I've lived in that cottage before.
893
01:12:35,784 --> 01:12:37,752
What, in one of your past lives?
894
01:12:39,221 --> 01:12:41,951
Yes, as a matter of fact.
895
01:12:44,026 --> 01:12:45,994
Fuckin' shit-hole, innit?
896
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:53,494
- Don't waste your life.
- What?
897
01:12:53,602 --> 01:12:56,833
Don't waste your life.
898
01:13:12,054 --> 01:13:15,217
- What time does this place close?
- 4:00.
899
01:13:15,290 --> 01:13:18,487
Uh, listen, can you tell me
where I can get something to eat round here?
900
01:13:18,594 --> 01:13:20,494
What?
901
01:13:20,596 --> 01:13:22,496
- You've got a very nice smile.
- Have I?
902
01:13:22,598 --> 01:13:24,225
Oh, yeah.
903
01:14:09,711 --> 01:14:11,679
Sorry, sir.
904
01:14:19,655 --> 01:14:21,623
I'll take that, sir.
905
01:14:24,993 --> 01:14:27,461
Your lady companion is joining you, sir?
906
01:14:29,431 --> 01:14:33,128
Uh, no, she can't make it today, pal.
The old sciatica's playing up and everything.
907
01:14:33,235 --> 01:14:35,567
- You know?
- Come on.
908
01:14:36,805 --> 01:14:38,796
What?
909
01:14:39,842 --> 01:14:42,777
- Out of the car.
- Well, I've only just got in the car.
910
01:14:42,878 --> 01:14:44,641
Get out of the fucking car!
911
01:14:44,746 --> 01:14:48,238
All right, Parker.
Keep your hat on.
912
01:14:57,993 --> 01:15:01,326
Well, that was lovely.
Thank you.
913
01:15:01,430 --> 01:15:03,557
Keep in touch.
914
01:15:28,257 --> 01:15:30,225
Oh, fuck.
915
01:15:38,934 --> 01:15:42,028
- Who are you?
- Sebastian Hawks.
916
01:15:42,137 --> 01:15:44,037
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
917
01:15:44,139 --> 01:15:46,039
Um, what you doin' here?
918
01:15:46,141 --> 01:15:48,439
- I'm an acquaintance of Sandra's.
- Oh, yeah?
919
01:15:48,544 --> 01:15:52,446
- I just popped round to say hello.
- Well, Sandra's away at the moment, actually.
920
01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,448
Really.
921
01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:57,451
I hope you don't mind,
but I helped myself to a beer.
922
01:15:57,553 --> 01:16:01,250
Yeah, I noticed.
Is that your champagne and all?
923
01:16:02,591 --> 01:16:06,721
- You like champagne, do you?
- Yeah. I do, as it happens.
924
01:16:06,828 --> 01:16:08,853
This is a very nice flat.
Don't you think?
925
01:16:08,964 --> 01:16:11,125
How did you get in here?
926
01:16:11,233 --> 01:16:13,292
Tell me, do you have any problems
with the central heating?
927
01:16:13,402 --> 01:16:14,892
Oh, are you the plumber?
928
01:16:15,003 --> 01:16:17,164
Let's just say I've got
a vested interest in the property.
929
01:16:17,272 --> 01:16:19,832
Fuckin' hell.
You're the landlord.
930
01:16:19,942 --> 01:16:23,639
- I'd rather you thought of me as a friend.
- Oh, shit.
931
01:16:23,745 --> 01:16:26,839
What, is Sandra behind on the rent
or something?
932
01:16:26,949 --> 01:16:29,076
Was your tattoo painful?
933
01:16:29,184 --> 01:16:30,651
Yeah.
934
01:16:30,752 --> 01:16:33,152
Good.
935
01:16:35,257 --> 01:16:37,191
You're very beautiful, aren't you?
936
01:16:38,293 --> 01:16:39,817
Am I?
937
01:16:40,963 --> 01:16:43,591
In a quirky sort of way.
938
01:16:45,701 --> 01:16:47,601
- Are you a nurse?
- Yeah.
939
01:16:47,703 --> 01:16:49,603
Psychiatric.
940
01:16:53,141 --> 01:16:55,405
These are a very fetching
pair of tights.
941
01:16:55,510 --> 01:16:58,343
Oh, you like them, do ya,
Mr. Landlord?
942
01:16:58,447 --> 01:17:01,348
Can we have that champagne now, please?
943
01:17:01,450 --> 01:17:04,044
Did you buy them like this,
or are the holes self-inflicted?
944
01:17:04,152 --> 01:17:07,849
Nah. A spider spun them,
and that's where he had a tea break.
945
01:17:09,157 --> 01:17:11,853
Fucking hell!
That's a bit excessive, innit?
946
01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:14,861
- I rather like this belt too.
- Oh, God.
947
01:17:14,963 --> 01:17:18,399
Here we go.
948
01:17:20,135 --> 01:17:23,036
- Excuse me. Where do you think you're going?
- I'm going home.
949
01:17:23,138 --> 01:17:25,038
- What, you're leaving me?
- Yeah.
950
01:17:25,140 --> 01:17:28,041
I've come all this way to see you,
and you're going. I can't believe it.
951
01:17:28,143 --> 01:17:31,044
- I'm stunned. I'm flabbergasted.
- So we'll get you a tissue.
952
01:17:31,146 --> 01:17:33,774
Sounds promising.
Do you live nearby?
953
01:17:33,882 --> 01:17:37,045
- I might do.
- I mean, is it within walking distance?
954
01:17:40,322 --> 01:17:43,917
No, 'cause, you see, I've got this fascination
with all things peripatetic.
955
01:17:44,026 --> 01:17:46,790
- See ya.
- Cheeky, aren't I?
956
01:17:49,698 --> 01:17:51,598
Have you stolen the tea cozy?
957
01:17:51,700 --> 01:17:55,363
Love, people can see you wearing that thing.
You're not embarrassed? No?
958
01:18:17,426 --> 01:18:19,826
Don't give up.
959
01:18:19,928 --> 01:18:21,828
Oh! Oww!
960
01:18:30,539 --> 01:18:32,439
Put this on.
961
01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,441
Oh, what?
962
01:18:34,543 --> 01:18:36,943
Gonna play doctors and nurses now,
are we?
963
01:18:37,045 --> 01:18:39,673
Hurry up.
964
01:18:45,454 --> 01:18:48,014
Oh, this is ridiculous.
965
01:18:48,123 --> 01:18:53,356
Listen, I'm really sorry, right,
but I've had a bit of a rough week...
966
01:18:53,462 --> 01:18:56,488
and I just don't think
I can go through with this.
967
01:18:56,598 --> 01:19:00,034
No!
968
01:19:00,135 --> 01:19:02,535
Oh, you fucker!
969
01:19:02,637 --> 01:19:05,538
Fuck off! Leave me alone!
970
01:19:08,143 --> 01:19:10,304
Oh, don't!
971
01:19:10,412 --> 01:19:12,380
You bastard!
972
01:19:17,652 --> 01:19:19,620
Do you want some beans?
973
01:19:21,656 --> 01:19:23,886
Yeah, cheers.
974
01:19:23,992 --> 01:19:27,393
So, what would you be doing now
if I wasn't here?
975
01:19:27,496 --> 01:19:29,396
Don't know.
976
01:19:29,498 --> 01:19:32,023
Having a shower, relaxing.
977
01:19:32,134 --> 01:19:34,034
I could do with a shower meself.
978
01:19:34,136 --> 01:19:37,697
I haven't washed for about a week,
as you've probably noticed.
979
01:19:37,806 --> 01:19:40,206
You can have one if you like.
980
01:19:40,308 --> 01:19:42,435
- You sure?
- Yeah.
981
01:19:43,478 --> 01:19:45,446
Bathroom's just here.
982
01:19:47,015 --> 01:19:49,040
Fuckin' hell.
983
01:19:49,151 --> 01:19:51,449
What did I do to deserve you, love?
984
01:19:52,487 --> 01:19:54,387
Just press this button.
985
01:19:57,559 --> 01:19:59,459
Now, listen...
986
01:19:59,561 --> 01:20:03,691
you're not gonna creep up on me with a big knife,
dressed up as your mother, are you?
987
01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:05,426
No.
988
01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:12,774
But it looks like you already
are dressed up as your mother.
989
01:20:25,220 --> 01:20:29,020
Can I have me bag?
It's got me duck in it.
990
01:20:36,364 --> 01:20:38,423
Ta.
991
01:21:09,197 --> 01:21:11,791
Oh, dear.
992
01:21:13,134 --> 01:21:15,534
Who lives here, then? Zeus?
993
01:21:18,640 --> 01:21:22,098
- Is all this stuff yours?
- No.
994
01:21:22,210 --> 01:21:25,976
All these pseudo Doric midgets
with their novelty underpants.
995
01:21:26,081 --> 01:21:28,982
Oh, look at this one,
touching time with a barge pole.
996
01:21:29,084 --> 01:21:31,052
I wouldn't.
997
01:21:34,823 --> 01:21:37,383
Is he a Homer-sexual, yeah?
998
01:21:37,492 --> 01:21:39,722
What do you think?
999
01:21:39,828 --> 01:21:42,296
- Where is he?
- They're in America.
1000
01:21:42,397 --> 01:21:44,763
- They?
- Yeah.
1001
01:21:44,866 --> 01:21:47,198
- When are they gettin' back?
- Don't know.
1002
01:21:48,503 --> 01:21:50,630
And they're just letting you
stop here for nothing?
1003
01:21:50,739 --> 01:21:53,401
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1004
01:21:53,508 --> 01:21:56,409
- I don't know them.
- I don't know.
1005
01:21:56,511 --> 01:21:59,844
- I find all this a bit sad.
- Why?
1006
01:21:59,948 --> 01:22:02,610
No, I don't mean that
to sound Homer-phobic.
1007
01:22:02,717 --> 01:22:05,049
I mean, I like The Iliad.
1008
01:22:05,153 --> 01:22:07,747
And The Odyssey.
Did you get that?
1009
01:22:07,856 --> 01:22:09,323
No.
1010
01:22:13,061 --> 01:22:15,859
So, have you read
many of these books?
1011
01:22:15,964 --> 01:22:18,228
No, I haven't.
1012
01:22:18,333 --> 01:22:20,801
Oh. I've read quite a few.
1013
01:22:22,203 --> 01:22:24,694
Oh, look!
Do you get it now?
1014
01:22:25,840 --> 01:22:28,434
Do you know this?
1015
01:22:28,543 --> 01:22:32,206
I bet you do. You've most likely done it
at school. You just can't remember.
1016
01:22:32,314 --> 01:22:36,045
You know, like, uh, Achilles heel,
the wooden horse, Helen of Troy.
1017
01:22:36,151 --> 01:22:38,381
- You know them?
- Yeah.
1018
01:22:38,486 --> 01:22:41,751
Yeah, well, that's all it is.
Good stuff.
1019
01:22:41,856 --> 01:22:43,687
Cyclops.
1020
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:45,692
Oh, hello.
1021
01:22:45,794 --> 01:22:47,853
It's, uh, pizza delivery man.
1022
01:22:53,902 --> 01:22:56,666
Do you want those beans?
1023
01:22:56,771 --> 01:22:58,363
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
1024
01:23:29,938 --> 01:23:31,838
Sebastian Hawks.
1025
01:23:31,940 --> 01:23:33,908
Good evening.
1026
01:23:35,276 --> 01:23:37,608
Very nice to meet you, Louise.
1027
01:23:37,712 --> 01:23:39,805
Very nice to meet you.
1028
01:23:39,914 --> 01:23:41,882
I've heard a lot about you.
1029
01:23:48,256 --> 01:23:50,349
- Sophie?
- Yeah?
1030
01:23:50,458 --> 01:23:52,358
Yeah, I'm in here.
1031
01:23:52,460 --> 01:23:56,021
- Oh. You all right?
- I've never been better.
1032
01:23:56,131 --> 01:23:59,032
We've had a very interesting afternoon.
Haven't we, Sophie?
1033
01:23:59,134 --> 01:24:01,034
It's been fascinating.
1034
01:24:14,716 --> 01:24:17,116
For services rendered.
1035
01:24:17,218 --> 01:24:19,709
Fuck off.
1036
01:24:22,323 --> 01:24:25,417
- Who's your friend?
- He's the landlord, isn't he?
1037
01:24:25,527 --> 01:24:27,722
- Whose landlord?
- Our fucking landlord.
1038
01:24:27,829 --> 01:24:30,127
- Oh, get out of town.
- Ask him.
1039
01:24:32,434 --> 01:24:36,234
- What you wearin' Sandra's uniform for?
- I don't wanna talk about it. All right?
1040
01:24:37,539 --> 01:24:39,803
- You want a cup of tea?
- Yeah.
1041
01:24:44,813 --> 01:24:47,304
So, have you been sittin'
on his face all afternoon?
1042
01:24:47,415 --> 01:24:49,542
- I don't need this.
- Jesus Christ.
1043
01:24:49,651 --> 01:24:53,348
I get home from work, all I wanna do
is put my feet up and watch the telly...
1044
01:24:53,455 --> 01:24:55,480
not get involved in one of your orgies.
1045
01:24:55,590 --> 01:24:57,558
Do you know what I mean?
1046
01:25:01,696 --> 01:25:03,664
What happened to your arm?
1047
01:25:07,435 --> 01:25:09,562
Sophie, what's been going on?
1048
01:25:11,775 --> 01:25:14,674
- Have you put the kettle on?
- Yeah.
1049
01:25:14,776 --> 01:25:17,267
Any chance of a coffee, Louise?
1050
01:25:17,378 --> 01:25:19,346
Yeah. Sure.
1051
01:25:21,082 --> 01:25:24,745
- These are a very nice pair of shorts.
- Would you take your hands off me, please?
1052
01:25:25,787 --> 01:25:27,687
I apologize.
1053
01:25:31,126 --> 01:25:34,323
Right, pal. Here's your clothes.
Get your kit on and sling your hook.
1054
01:25:34,429 --> 01:25:36,693
Here's your shoes, mate.
1055
01:25:39,801 --> 01:25:42,065
Hope I haven't given you AIDS, Sophie.
1056
01:25:42,170 --> 01:25:44,968
- Jesus Christ!
- Fucking hell! Are you serious?
1057
01:25:46,040 --> 01:25:48,065
- Merely jesting.
- Very funny.
1058
01:25:48,176 --> 01:25:50,644
Mind you, I think AIDS is rather healthy,
in its way.
1059
01:25:50,745 --> 01:25:53,873
- You what?
- I realize that's not the fashionable thing to say.
1060
01:25:53,982 --> 01:25:56,917
- No, it's not.
- But the world is overcrowded, isn't it?
1061
01:25:57,018 --> 01:25:59,782
- Could do with a bit of pruning.
- You fucking better be joking.
1062
01:25:59,888 --> 01:26:02,083
You're not going to have children,
are you, Louise?
1063
01:26:02,190 --> 01:26:04,090
I might do one day.
1064
01:26:04,192 --> 01:26:06,251
I loathe children, I must say.
1065
01:26:06,361 --> 01:26:09,330
I bet they're not too keen on you neither.
1066
01:26:10,398 --> 01:26:12,298
I'm sure you like fucking.
Don't you, Louise?
1067
01:26:12,400 --> 01:26:14,630
- Are you going?
- I'm rather enjoying myself, actually.
1068
01:26:14,736 --> 01:26:16,795
- Yeah, well, we're not.
- That's a pity.
1069
01:26:16,905 --> 01:26:21,308
You may be the landlord from hell, but that
doesn't give you the right to lie on our couch.
1070
01:26:22,477 --> 01:26:25,105
- Whose couch?
- Do you want me to phone the police?
1071
01:26:25,213 --> 01:26:27,477
Be my guest.
1072
01:26:27,582 --> 01:26:30,210
Right.
1073
01:26:34,589 --> 01:26:37,080
- Listen, I can't have them in here.
- Why not?
1074
01:26:37,192 --> 01:26:41,128
They're gonna look at him in his suit, look at us,
and who do you think they're gonna believe?
1075
01:26:41,229 --> 01:26:43,424
There's fucking dope all over the place.
1076
01:26:43,531 --> 01:26:46,022
Well, we're just winding him up.
He's loving this.
1077
01:26:46,134 --> 01:26:48,102
What are we gonna do?
1078
01:26:53,141 --> 01:26:55,109
It's very peaceful here, innit?
1079
01:26:56,611 --> 01:26:58,579
Suppose so.
1080
01:27:01,382 --> 01:27:03,441
Are you warm enough?
1081
01:27:03,551 --> 01:27:05,519
Yeah, it's nice. Thanks.
1082
01:27:07,222 --> 01:27:10,191
It's funny, 'cause the silence
usually freaks me out.
1083
01:27:11,226 --> 01:27:14,457
You start to pick up on all the small sounds.
You know what I mean?
1084
01:27:14,562 --> 01:27:16,894
Like that clock.
1085
01:27:19,400 --> 01:27:21,960
I hate that fucking clock.
1086
01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:24,470
Course you do.
It's a clock.
1087
01:27:26,107 --> 01:27:29,076
Is it all right
if I stay here tonight?
1088
01:27:32,380 --> 01:27:34,348
Have you ever had a dog?
1089
01:27:37,819 --> 01:27:39,446
No.
1090
01:27:41,789 --> 01:27:44,849
- I don't like dogs.
- Why?
1091
01:27:44,959 --> 01:27:47,325
Well, they're either vicious or daft.
1092
01:27:48,229 --> 01:27:50,197
- Why? Have you?
- Yeah.
1093
01:27:51,766 --> 01:27:53,757
- Is it dead now?
- Yeah.
1094
01:27:53,868 --> 01:27:55,768
Did you bury it?
1095
01:27:55,870 --> 01:27:58,134
Don't know.
Me dad took it.
1096
01:28:00,375 --> 01:28:03,208
And what about you?
Would you like to be buried or cremated?
1097
01:28:03,311 --> 01:28:05,279
I couldn't give a shit.
1098
01:28:10,118 --> 01:28:15,385
I had this, uh, dream the other night
about these two skeletons havin' a fuck.
1099
01:28:15,490 --> 01:28:18,254
Was a right bloody racket.
Woke me up.
1100
01:28:18,359 --> 01:28:20,259
Have you got a photo of your mum?
1101
01:28:25,199 --> 01:28:27,429
- What, on me?
- Yeah.
1102
01:28:29,537 --> 01:28:31,368
No.
1103
01:28:31,472 --> 01:28:34,441
I think you might find one over
at the news agent's, on the top shelf.
1104
01:28:36,144 --> 01:28:38,112
Do you want some beans?
1105
01:28:46,754 --> 01:28:48,654
You've got a very sad face.
1106
01:28:48,756 --> 01:28:51,156
Have I?
1107
01:28:51,259 --> 01:28:54,319
It's all right.
I mean, I find that attractive.
1108
01:28:56,331 --> 01:28:58,390
But that's me.
1109
01:29:00,501 --> 01:29:03,470
So, have you got a boyfriend
or anything?
1110
01:29:14,382 --> 01:29:16,350
What are you gonna do for Christmas?
1111
01:29:18,486 --> 01:29:20,454
I don't know.
What are you gonna do?
1112
01:29:23,091 --> 01:29:25,559
You all right?
1113
01:29:27,929 --> 01:29:30,489
- What's the matter?
- Fuck off!
1114
01:29:58,793 --> 01:30:00,761
What's up, love?
1115
01:30:02,797 --> 01:30:05,527
- Is it something I said?
- I want you to go.
1116
01:30:05,633 --> 01:30:08,431
- Why?
- Can you go, please?
1117
01:30:09,470 --> 01:30:12,667
- Is it 'cause I don't like dogs?
- Get out!
1118
01:30:13,775 --> 01:30:16,744
- Don't quite follow, love.
- Just fuck off!
1119
01:30:16,844 --> 01:30:19,574
Oh. I see.
1120
01:30:19,680 --> 01:30:21,910
Um -
1121
01:30:22,016 --> 01:30:24,041
Well, perhaps I was jumping to conclusions...
1122
01:30:24,152 --> 01:30:27,053
but I got the impression that I could
kip down on the sofa or something.
1123
01:30:27,155 --> 01:30:29,680
- Go!
- Go where?
1124
01:30:29,791 --> 01:30:32,692
Have you got any suggestions? 'Cause it's like
a fucking Eskimo's grave out there.
1125
01:30:32,794 --> 01:30:35,058
Hey! Hey!
1126
01:30:35,163 --> 01:30:36,858
All right, I'm going!
1127
01:30:36,964 --> 01:30:39,228
Hey!
1128
01:31:28,382 --> 01:31:30,475
It's not easy, is it?
1129
01:31:33,688 --> 01:31:35,656
Do you find that?
1130
01:31:42,563 --> 01:31:44,895
Well...
1131
01:31:44,999 --> 01:31:46,899
just goes to show ya...
1132
01:31:47,001 --> 01:31:49,799
that no matter
how many books you read...
1133
01:31:49,904 --> 01:31:53,237
there's some things in this world
that you never, ever, ever, ever...
1134
01:31:53,341 --> 01:31:56,970
ever fuckin' understand.
1135
01:32:14,395 --> 01:32:19,890
Oh, thank you for the tea
and the bath and the booze.
1136
01:32:21,669 --> 01:32:23,637
And the beans.
1137
01:32:30,444 --> 01:32:35,507
And listen, love, I hope that when
you're tucked up tonight all snug and warm...
1138
01:32:35,616 --> 01:32:37,982
underneath your tear-sodden fuckin' duvet...
1139
01:32:38,085 --> 01:32:40,019
and your ankle-length
Emily Bront� winding sheet...
1140
01:32:40,121 --> 01:32:43,682
that you spare a thought for me with me head
in a puddle of cold dog's piss.
1141
01:32:43,791 --> 01:32:48,160
And I hope that you dream about me.
And I hope that you wake up screamin'.
1142
01:32:50,264 --> 01:32:52,664
And I hope that all your fuckin' children...
1143
01:32:52,767 --> 01:32:56,203
are born blind, bow-legged,
hare-lipped, homeless hunchbacks!
1144
01:33:10,985 --> 01:33:13,453
Have you ever had an abortion?
1145
01:33:14,655 --> 01:33:16,555
- Have you?
- No.
1146
01:33:16,657 --> 01:33:19,888
- I thought I was pregnant once.
- Would you have had one?
1147
01:33:19,994 --> 01:33:23,623
In the end, it turned out I wasn't,
and he left me anyway, so -
1148
01:33:24,832 --> 01:33:26,732
I wanted to keep mine.
1149
01:33:26,834 --> 01:33:28,734
What happened?
1150
01:33:28,836 --> 01:33:32,237
All my mates said
I couldn't look after a baby.
1151
01:33:32,340 --> 01:33:34,240
Too fucking right.
1152
01:33:34,342 --> 01:33:36,902
Did it make you feel shitty?
1153
01:33:37,011 --> 01:33:39,241
It was a nightmare.
1154
01:33:39,347 --> 01:33:41,508
I really loved 'im.
1155
01:33:43,050 --> 01:33:45,951
- He was a philosopher.
- Where was this?
1156
01:33:46,053 --> 01:33:47,953
- Paris.
- Paris?
1157
01:33:48,055 --> 01:33:51,354
Should have seen the state
of his girlfriend.
1158
01:33:53,094 --> 01:33:55,756
Had one when I was 15 and all.
1159
01:33:55,863 --> 01:33:57,854
Jesus, Sophie.
1160
01:33:57,965 --> 01:34:02,425
And that one was worse for my mum.
Fucking drama she made out of it.
1161
01:34:05,072 --> 01:34:08,974
I could have been married by now
with a four-year-old.
1162
01:34:09,076 --> 01:34:11,374
Do you wanna get married?
1163
01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:13,447
Don't know.
1164
01:34:15,449 --> 01:34:19,783
Just 'cause you have a kid with someone
doesn't mean they're gonna stick around.
1165
01:34:19,887 --> 01:34:23,288
My dad didn't.
Couldn't fucking wait to get out.
1166
01:34:23,391 --> 01:34:26,292
Well, I don't know
if I want to get married...
1167
01:34:26,394 --> 01:34:29,295
but I wouldn't say no
to a proper relationship.
1168
01:34:29,397 --> 01:34:31,865
What is a proper relationship?
1169
01:34:33,067 --> 01:34:36,628
Living with someone who talks to ya
after they've bonked ya.
1170
01:34:38,239 --> 01:34:41,640
I don't know what they want from you
half the time.
1171
01:34:41,742 --> 01:34:46,145
What they start off liking you for,
they end up hating you for.
1172
01:34:46,247 --> 01:34:49,774
Don't like you if you're strong.
Don't like you if you're weak.
1173
01:34:49,884 --> 01:34:53,376
Hate you if you're clever.
Hate you if you're stupid.
1174
01:34:53,487 --> 01:34:56,456
They don't know what they want.
1175
01:35:01,228 --> 01:35:04,322
You think that bastard's fucked off yet?
1176
01:35:05,499 --> 01:35:07,967
Yeah, he must have done by now.
1177
01:35:46,307 --> 01:35:48,207
Is this a stick-up?
1178
01:35:50,311 --> 01:35:52,711
- So you must get that all the time, yeah?
- Yeah.
1179
01:35:52,813 --> 01:35:54,440
Just got it again.
1180
01:35:55,816 --> 01:35:59,843
So, is this your job,
or a nice little hobby you've got for yourself?
1181
01:35:59,954 --> 01:36:01,922
You're a lovely mover.
1182
01:36:10,498 --> 01:36:12,398
- This your van, yeah?
- Yeah.
1183
01:36:12,500 --> 01:36:15,401
It's, like, uh, I don't know,
top of the range.
1184
01:36:15,503 --> 01:36:17,403
Very nice.
1185
01:36:17,505 --> 01:36:20,406
- Are you going up the road?
- You want a lift?
1186
01:36:20,508 --> 01:36:23,068
- That all right with ya?
- Yeah.
1187
01:36:23,177 --> 01:36:25,077
Cheers.
1188
01:36:25,179 --> 01:36:28,580
It's just I been walkin' round the streets
all night. You know what I mean?
1189
01:36:28,682 --> 01:36:31,651
These fuckin' feet are on their last legs,
I'm tellin' ya.
1190
01:36:35,523 --> 01:36:39,220
- So, how much do you earn for doin' this?
- It's none of your fuckin' business.
1191
01:36:39,326 --> 01:36:42,227
I mean, is the pay as substantial
as, say, the wages of sin?
1192
01:36:42,329 --> 01:36:44,763
Know what I mean?
You with me?
1193
01:36:44,865 --> 01:36:48,492
Listen, captain, is it all right
if I have a go at doing this, yeah?
1194
01:36:48,502 --> 01:36:50,402
Oh! God love ya.
1195
01:36:50,504 --> 01:36:54,634
Or does it take, like, thousands of years
of state-subsidized government training...
1196
01:36:54,742 --> 01:36:56,642
to do this clobber, yeah?
1197
01:36:56,744 --> 01:37:01,647
You gotta slap on, like, copious quantities
of the old industrial sputum there.
1198
01:37:01,749 --> 01:37:03,649
Beg your pardon.
1199
01:37:03,751 --> 01:37:06,652
It's a wonderful career opportunity for me.
You know what I mean?
1200
01:37:06,754 --> 01:37:10,053
- I'm gonna play the joker on this one.
- Shift -
1201
01:37:10,157 --> 01:37:12,557
- Very well - Aah!
- Shift out of the fucking way.
1202
01:37:12,660 --> 01:37:15,891
No, I like Laurel and Hardy, although
apparently they didn't get on in real life.
1203
01:37:15,996 --> 01:37:18,089
Another illusion shattered.
1204
01:37:20,000 --> 01:37:23,128
Sorry about that, pal. It's just, I've had
a lot of bad experience with walls, you know...
1205
01:37:23,237 --> 01:37:25,637
what with talking to them
and climbing them.
1206
01:37:25,739 --> 01:37:28,640
Me dad's driven me up a good few in his time.
You know what I mean?
1207
01:37:28,742 --> 01:37:31,643
But I think I've got a secret -
a saucy little secret.
1208
01:37:31,745 --> 01:37:35,181
The solipsistic, sagacious little secret
is just, you got - you just gotta...
1209
01:37:35,282 --> 01:37:37,182
bang your fuckin' head against 'em.
1210
01:37:37,284 --> 01:37:40,913
Just crack the old pate -
Are you with me?
1211
01:37:41,021 --> 01:37:44,457
Have you got it? And that's it.
That is the key to enlightenment, which is -
1212
01:37:44,558 --> 01:37:49,120
It's, like, that's why- that's why it's, like,
such a potent motif of civilization.
1213
01:37:49,230 --> 01:37:52,131
It's the wall - It's like
the Great Wall of China...
1214
01:37:52,233 --> 01:37:56,135
and the wall of Jericho
and the Berlin Wall and the wailing wall.
1215
01:37:56,237 --> 01:37:59,138
Now, you see, the Jews,
they've almost got it, haven't they?
1216
01:37:59,240 --> 01:38:02,368
A real rockin' and that, you know.
Just six inches away and they'll be there.
1217
01:38:02,476 --> 01:38:05,377
They'd have won the fucking race.
They'll be there. Are you with me?
1218
01:38:05,479 --> 01:38:08,380
What is all this, anyway?
What are you doin'? Cancel everything.
1219
01:38:08,482 --> 01:38:11,383
In the beginning was the word,
and the word was "canceled."
1220
01:38:11,485 --> 01:38:14,386
You get satisfaction out of this?
You think you're making a contribution?
1221
01:38:14,488 --> 01:38:16,922
You're, like,
sort of publicly promulgating vacuities.
1222
01:38:17,024 --> 01:38:19,584
Are you with me?
Fuckin' hell!
1223
01:38:22,730 --> 01:38:24,755
That's it!
Blank it all out!
1224
01:38:24,865 --> 01:38:27,766
Blank it all out till you just atrophy
and die of fuckin' indifference!
1225
01:38:27,868 --> 01:38:30,769
Can I show you something, pal?
You see that at the top of your legs?
1226
01:38:30,871 --> 01:38:34,204
That's your ass, right, and that's your
fuckin' elbow. Do you wanna write it down or-
1227
01:38:34,308 --> 01:38:36,902
Oh!
1228
01:38:37,011 --> 01:38:38,911
Fuck. Ow.
1229
01:38:39,013 --> 01:38:40,913
Who's that supposed to be?
Me dad?
1230
01:38:41,015 --> 01:38:44,610
You wanna watch that, mate.
I've got a dicky sacrum here.
1231
01:38:44,718 --> 01:38:46,185
Shit.
1232
01:38:47,321 --> 01:38:50,222
F- Uh, can you, uh, come back here?
1233
01:38:50,324 --> 01:38:52,224
Uh, did I upset ya?
1234
01:38:56,163 --> 01:38:57,790
Mate!
1235
01:38:59,366 --> 01:39:01,357
You got me bag!
1236
01:39:01,468 --> 01:39:03,561
You fucking tosser!
1237
01:39:03,671 --> 01:39:06,139
You've got - Fuck!
1238
01:39:09,276 --> 01:39:11,369
Fuck!
1239
01:39:11,478 --> 01:39:14,379
All right, listen.
Does anybody mind if I scream here?
1240
01:39:14,481 --> 01:39:18,383
Is that okay with you all? 'Cause I'd feel
better for it. It won't take long.
1241
01:39:23,424 --> 01:39:25,392
Fuck.
1242
01:39:47,281 --> 01:39:49,511
Who's that?
1243
01:39:49,616 --> 01:39:51,516
Let's get him.
1244
01:39:53,620 --> 01:39:55,588
Let's go. Fuck.
1245
01:39:57,391 --> 01:39:59,359
Let's do it.
1246
01:40:39,600 --> 01:40:41,568
Who's that?
1247
01:41:07,861 --> 01:41:10,125
Oh, Jesus.
1248
01:41:10,230 --> 01:41:13,131
What's been happening to ya?
1249
01:41:13,233 --> 01:41:16,134
Will you shut up, for God's sake.
1250
01:41:22,109 --> 01:41:24,509
- Oww!
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1251
01:41:24,611 --> 01:41:27,011
Just give us a fag.
1252
01:41:28,215 --> 01:41:30,183
Fucking comedian.
1253
01:41:38,258 --> 01:41:40,158
It's not my fault.
1254
01:41:40,260 --> 01:41:42,160
What's not your fault?
1255
01:41:44,932 --> 01:41:47,833
- Where are you going?
- I just want to go to bed.
1256
01:41:47,935 --> 01:41:49,835
Will you be quiet!
1257
01:41:49,937 --> 01:41:52,906
- I fuckin' walked here.
- Where from?
1258
01:41:57,044 --> 01:41:59,512
- Which way?
- Um - I'm gon -
1259
01:42:01,648 --> 01:42:03,240
I'm gonna be sick.
1260
01:42:14,428 --> 01:42:16,328
Fuckin' hell.
What's happened to him?
1261
01:42:16,430 --> 01:42:18,330
Don't know.
1262
01:42:18,432 --> 01:42:20,332
- Johnny. Are you all right, Johnny?
- Get off!
1263
01:42:20,434 --> 01:42:22,402
Shh!
1264
01:42:25,372 --> 01:42:29,001
- Is he still here?
- I don't know.
1265
01:43:01,909 --> 01:43:04,469
- Right. We'd better get him into bed.
- Yeah.
1266
01:43:04,578 --> 01:43:07,979
- You take that end, I'll take this end.
- Okay. Don't push me, right?
1267
01:43:08,081 --> 01:43:10,208
I'm not pushin' ya.
1268
01:43:11,919 --> 01:43:15,150
- Careful. That's his bad leg.
- Well, what do you want me to do?
1269
01:43:15,255 --> 01:43:17,314
After three.
1270
01:43:17,424 --> 01:43:19,324
One, two, three.
1271
01:43:19,426 --> 01:43:22,657
I wanna go. I wanna go!
1272
01:43:22,763 --> 01:43:24,890
Johnny-
1273
01:43:27,034 --> 01:43:29,935
Johnny!
1274
01:44:11,645 --> 01:44:13,545
I know.
1275
01:44:13,647 --> 01:44:16,207
I know you told me.
1276
01:44:18,118 --> 01:44:22,748
And... I'm not here yet!
I'm still wet.
1277
01:44:25,425 --> 01:44:27,393
What did she mean?
1278
01:44:29,630 --> 01:44:31,757
Why not me brother?
1279
01:44:36,837 --> 01:44:39,635
Will it be quiet now? Yeah?
1280
01:44:47,014 --> 01:44:48,538
Are we going?
1281
01:44:48,649 --> 01:44:50,879
Oh, fuck. Shit.
1282
01:45:05,866 --> 01:45:08,266
- Who's this?
- It's all right. He's a friend of mine.
1283
01:45:08,368 --> 01:45:11,804
What extraordinary friends you have.
1284
01:45:11,905 --> 01:45:14,874
- He's only got one sock on.
- Shut up!
1285
01:45:14,975 --> 01:45:18,376
You seem a bit tense, Sophie.
Would you like a massage?
1286
01:45:18,478 --> 01:45:20,378
- A d-d-doctor -
- Pardon?
1287
01:45:20,480 --> 01:45:24,746
- Is he the doctor?
- You're rather disgusting, aren't you?
1288
01:45:29,389 --> 01:45:31,289
You're not crying, are you, Louise?
1289
01:45:31,391 --> 01:45:33,791
Oh, listen,
when are you gonna fuck off?
1290
01:45:33,894 --> 01:45:37,455
This has got nothing to do with you.
Right?
1291
01:45:37,564 --> 01:45:40,931
No! No! Stop!
1292
01:45:41,034 --> 01:45:43,594
Leave me alone!
1293
01:45:43,704 --> 01:45:45,672
Ow. Me leg.
1294
01:45:47,207 --> 01:45:48,970
You don't know.
1295
01:45:49,076 --> 01:45:50,907
Aren't people pathetic?
1296
01:45:55,248 --> 01:45:59,014
Right.
I'm going to beddy-byes.
1297
01:46:06,093 --> 01:46:09,062
If anyone wishes to join me,
I'll be under the duvet.
1298
01:46:16,269 --> 01:46:19,170
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. Are you?
1299
01:46:19,272 --> 01:46:21,240
Yeah.
1300
01:46:25,112 --> 01:46:27,012
Come on.
I'll give you a hand.
1301
01:46:27,114 --> 01:46:29,412
I'm all right.
I walked here.
1302
01:46:53,640 --> 01:46:55,665
Is it here?
1303
01:46:55,776 --> 01:46:57,744
Yeah.
1304
01:46:59,246 --> 01:47:02,147
- Who's that?
- Clancy.
1305
01:47:02,249 --> 01:47:04,217
I thought so.
1306
01:47:05,986 --> 01:47:08,955
- I used to know you, didn't I?
- Yeah.
1307
01:47:18,298 --> 01:47:20,892
Take me back to Manchester
1308
01:47:21,001 --> 01:47:24,903
When it's raining
1309
01:47:25,005 --> 01:47:27,371
I want to wet me feet
1310
01:47:27,474 --> 01:47:30,534
In Albert Square
1311
01:47:30,644 --> 01:47:33,044
I'm all agog
1312
01:47:33,146 --> 01:47:36,604
For a good, thick fog
1313
01:47:36,716 --> 01:47:38,911
I don't like the sun
1314
01:47:39,019 --> 01:47:42,614
I like it raining cats and dogs
1315
01:47:42,722 --> 01:47:45,247
I want to smell the odors
1316
01:47:45,358 --> 01:47:48,794
Of the Irwell
1317
01:47:48,895 --> 01:47:53,355
I want to feel the soot
get in me hair
1318
01:47:54,401 --> 01:47:57,165
Oh, I don't want to roam
1319
01:47:57,270 --> 01:48:00,967
I want to get back home
1320
01:48:01,074 --> 01:48:05,568
To rainy Manchester
1321
01:48:09,382 --> 01:48:11,350
I've got an hard-on.
1322
01:49:20,387 --> 01:49:22,355
What's -
1323
01:49:25,458 --> 01:49:28,359
What are you -
1324
01:49:28,461 --> 01:49:30,861
This is, uh -
1325
01:49:30,964 --> 01:49:32,864
It's disgusting!
1326
01:49:32,966 --> 01:49:35,161
Nobody in my-
1327
01:49:35,268 --> 01:49:37,498
Who's he?
1328
01:49:37,604 --> 01:49:40,232
Y-You've got your boots on it!
1329
01:49:40,340 --> 01:49:41,864
She's -
1330
01:49:41,975 --> 01:49:44,671
And what's this doing -
1331
01:49:44,778 --> 01:49:49,215
This is something I can't -
1332
01:49:49,316 --> 01:49:51,409
I don't -
1333
01:49:51,518 --> 01:49:53,713
It's not -
1334
01:49:53,820 --> 01:49:57,881
I just don't need all this...
palaver.
1335
01:49:59,659 --> 01:50:01,627
Oh, shit.
1336
01:50:14,007 --> 01:50:15,907
Okay, who's Jeremy?
1337
01:50:16,009 --> 01:50:18,409
- Who's Jeremy?
- What do you mean?
1338
01:50:18,511 --> 01:50:20,411
Sandra.
What a nice surprise.
1339
01:50:20,513 --> 01:50:22,413
What are you doing here?
1340
01:50:22,515 --> 01:50:25,177
- How was Zimbabwe?
- Shift!
1341
01:50:26,353 --> 01:50:28,253
- Good morning, Louise.
- Where's Jeremy?
1342
01:50:28,355 --> 01:50:30,983
- Who's Jeremy?
- These are Jeremy's.
1343
01:50:31,091 --> 01:50:33,286
- That's Sebastian's.
- No, look.
1344
01:50:33,393 --> 01:50:36,794
"Jeremy Smart." "Jeremy Smart."
"Jeremy G. Smart."
1345
01:50:36,896 --> 01:50:39,797
Well, I've never heard of him.
1346
01:50:39,899 --> 01:50:42,299
Sebastian, who -
1347
01:50:42,402 --> 01:50:44,302
Are you Jeremy G. Smart?
1348
01:50:44,404 --> 01:50:46,304
Are you?
1349
01:50:46,406 --> 01:50:48,806
Johnny. Johnny, wake up.
1350
01:50:48,908 --> 01:50:51,069
- Leave him.
- Oh, for fuck's sake, Sophie.
1351
01:50:51,177 --> 01:50:53,077
- Sandra's back.
- What day is it?
1352
01:50:53,179 --> 01:50:55,306
- It's Friday.
- Oh, fuck this.
1353
01:50:55,415 --> 01:50:57,315
- Look at his eye.
- Christ.
1354
01:50:57,417 --> 01:51:00,318
He can lie down in my room -
Oh, God!
1355
01:51:00,420 --> 01:51:02,820
What are you doing?
He's not harming anyone.
1356
01:51:02,922 --> 01:51:06,289
- Have you seen the state of her? Johnny!
- I'm here, Johnny.
1357
01:51:06,393 --> 01:51:07,951
Morning, everyone!
1358
01:51:08,061 --> 01:51:11,724
I would actually like to have some kind
of explanation for all this because -
1359
01:51:11,831 --> 01:51:14,129
- Having fun?
- Can you put these on, please?
1360
01:51:14,234 --> 01:51:17,135
Sophie and I had a fuck on your bed
yesterday afternoon, Sandra.
1361
01:51:17,237 --> 01:51:19,137
- Oh, God.
- You are just...
1362
01:51:19,239 --> 01:51:21,434
- She was very good, I must say.
- Filth!
1363
01:51:21,541 --> 01:51:24,169
- Not as good as you though.
- You lying -
1364
01:51:25,879 --> 01:51:28,347
- Nastiness!
- We must do it again sometime.
1365
01:51:33,119 --> 01:51:35,019
Will you -
1366
01:51:35,121 --> 01:51:37,715
How can you -
1367
01:51:37,824 --> 01:51:40,122
Everything -
1368
01:51:41,294 --> 01:51:43,194
I can't cope with this.
1369
01:51:43,296 --> 01:51:45,196
You've got five minutes.
1370
01:51:45,298 --> 01:51:48,597
Five minutes to get your things on
and get the hell ou-
1371
01:51:48,702 --> 01:51:51,762
I shouldn't worry about it so much
if I were you.
1372
01:51:51,938 --> 01:51:55,203
I'd forgotten what a beautiful bottom
you've got, Sandra.
1373
01:51:55,308 --> 01:51:57,776
Two minutes.
1374
01:52:00,947 --> 01:52:02,915
Marvelous tits.
1375
01:52:05,452 --> 01:52:08,683
Listen, Sandra, I'm really sorry.
We weren't expecting you back.
1376
01:52:08,788 --> 01:52:11,188
I fail to - Why -
1377
01:52:11,291 --> 01:52:13,191
I-It's a pig sty! It's -
1378
01:52:13,293 --> 01:52:15,853
- I know. It just got out of hand.
- Obviously!
1379
01:52:15,962 --> 01:52:18,362
- A-And what's all that?
- He's a friend of mine.
1380
01:52:18,465 --> 01:52:22,196
- Can I make you a cup of tea?
- I don't want tea. I don't want -
1381
01:52:22,302 --> 01:52:24,532
I just want - My journey was -
1382
01:52:24,637 --> 01:52:27,057
- He's not very well!
- What's the matter with him?
1383
01:52:27,140 --> 01:52:31,270
He's got a lump on his face the size
of a boiled egg, and he won't wake up.
1384
01:52:40,420 --> 01:52:42,183
- Did he do this?
- Who?
1385
01:52:42,288 --> 01:52:45,553
- Sebasti - Jeremy!
- You never warned me about him, did ya?
1386
01:52:45,658 --> 01:52:49,059
- What are you talking about?
- Fucking letting himself in with the keys.
1387
01:52:49,162 --> 01:52:51,892
- Bastard!
- I don't -
1388
01:52:51,998 --> 01:52:54,967
Right. Let's get this shoe off.
1389
01:52:56,269 --> 01:52:59,932
Have you ever had smoked salmon
after making love, Louise?
1390
01:53:00,039 --> 01:53:03,031
- Don't like smoked salmon.
- I think you should try it.
1391
01:53:03,143 --> 01:53:05,043
It's rather wonderful.
1392
01:53:05,145 --> 01:53:07,443
Will you undo your fly, Sebastian?
1393
01:53:10,283 --> 01:53:12,251
Would you like me to?
1394
01:53:18,158 --> 01:53:20,126
Honest.
1395
01:53:42,148 --> 01:53:46,482
Oh, do you not want me to slice
your prick off and shove it up your ass?
1396
01:53:56,362 --> 01:53:58,853
Maggot-dick.
1397
01:54:08,875 --> 01:54:11,776
- Could you pass me that pillow, please?
- Here you go.
1398
01:54:11,878 --> 01:54:14,779
- I can't move, Sandra.
- You are worse than useless.
1399
01:54:14,881 --> 01:54:16,781
You all right?
1400
01:54:16,883 --> 01:54:19,784
- You don't think it's broken, do ya?
- No, he can move it.
1401
01:54:19,886 --> 01:54:22,855
- You can do that, can't you?
- Why would I want to do that?
1402
01:54:22,956 --> 01:54:26,187
Don't even -
Not in my room, Sophie!
1403
01:54:26,292 --> 01:54:28,624
- I need a fag.
- I don't care.
1404
01:54:28,728 --> 01:54:32,095
- Cop hold of that.
- Oh, just don't start, right?
1405
01:54:32,198 --> 01:54:36,464
It really is beyond me the way you girls
choose to live your lives.
1406
01:54:36,569 --> 01:54:40,505
My mind just... boggles.
1407
01:54:40,607 --> 01:54:43,838
He's gone back to sleep.
1408
01:54:44,878 --> 01:54:46,743
Was that the front door?
1409
01:54:46,846 --> 01:54:48,780
- He's gone.
- Thank God.
1410
01:54:57,991 --> 01:54:59,891
Go slowly, Johnny.
1411
01:54:59,993 --> 01:55:01,893
Now, what you two must do...
1412
01:55:01,995 --> 01:55:06,022
is take this one to Casualty and make sure
he gets himself looked at before he goes home.
1413
01:55:06,132 --> 01:55:08,032
- Gonna be sick.
- Are you?
1414
01:55:08,134 --> 01:55:11,035
- Get him into the bathroom.
- All right! All right! Let's not-
1415
01:55:11,137 --> 01:55:13,037
Just a minute. That's it.
1416
01:55:13,139 --> 01:55:15,403
Make it steady.
1417
01:55:15,508 --> 01:55:17,476
- Here you are.
- Okay.
1418
01:55:17,644 --> 01:55:20,135
It's in me tash.
1419
01:55:20,213 --> 01:55:22,408
You wanna get it cut.
1420
01:55:26,185 --> 01:55:28,153
It's in your mouth.
1421
01:55:29,656 --> 01:55:31,817
Have you had a bath lately?
1422
01:55:31,925 --> 01:55:34,155
- I had one yesterday.
- As if!
1423
01:55:34,260 --> 01:55:36,194
- I did.
- Where have you been, Johnny?
1424
01:55:36,296 --> 01:55:39,732
Down the Via De La Rosa.
Don't be nosy.
1425
01:55:41,834 --> 01:55:43,734
- You not going to work?
- I'm late.
1426
01:55:43,836 --> 01:55:47,101
- Ah. You'll get the sack.
- Yeah.
1427
01:55:47,206 --> 01:55:50,107
It's all right.
You can put all your troubles in it.
1428
01:55:50,209 --> 01:55:53,770
- Hey, I lost me bag.
- Yeah, I noticed. Where is it?
1429
01:55:53,880 --> 01:55:56,246
- I don't know. It's lost.
- Any valuables?
1430
01:55:56,349 --> 01:55:59,750
Yeah, it's got me collection
of famous retired glove puppets in there.
1431
01:55:59,852 --> 01:56:02,013
That's it. All gone.
1432
01:56:02,121 --> 01:56:04,385
Did you get it nicked?
1433
01:56:04,490 --> 01:56:08,392
Would you put that out?
1434
01:56:21,975 --> 01:56:24,535
I haven't cleaned me teeth yet.
1435
01:56:24,644 --> 01:56:27,477
Could you not just put 'em
in a glass or something, no?
1436
01:56:43,730 --> 01:56:46,494
I remember when you bought these shorts.
1437
01:56:46,599 --> 01:56:48,794
I warned you about 'em then.
1438
01:56:48,901 --> 01:56:50,960
Yeah, well...
1439
01:56:55,274 --> 01:56:58,300
- I only got 'em to piss you off.
- Mission accomplished.
1440
01:57:00,713 --> 01:57:04,171
- Is he all right?
- Yeah.
1441
01:57:08,054 --> 01:57:12,286
What, is this a spectator sport or something?
The hundred-meter vomit?
1442
01:57:17,597 --> 01:57:21,158
Sophie, do you mind if I have
a word with Johnny on me own?
1443
01:57:27,540 --> 01:57:30,509
Do you want a word with Louise
on your own?
1444
01:57:30,610 --> 01:57:32,874
- Are you being sarcastic?
- No.
1445
01:57:33,980 --> 01:57:36,505
Well, do as you're told.
1446
01:57:37,750 --> 01:57:39,718
Right.
1447
01:57:42,688 --> 01:57:45,623
Whose is all this money?
Three hundred and eighty pounds.
1448
01:57:45,725 --> 01:57:49,525
It really oughtn't to be left laying,
waiting for-
1449
01:58:00,406 --> 01:58:03,375
- Whose is all that?
- Don't know.
1450
01:58:10,049 --> 01:58:12,244
Who's been playing ping-pong
with your face?
1451
01:58:12,351 --> 01:58:14,911
Sky fell in on me.
1452
01:58:15,021 --> 01:58:17,319
A cloud caught me across the cheek.
1453
01:58:19,992 --> 01:58:23,428
- So, why did you come to London?
- Come to run in the marathon.
1454
01:58:23,529 --> 01:58:25,724
Will you give me
a straight answer, please?
1455
01:58:27,700 --> 01:58:31,329
Well, I had to get out of Manchester
'cause I was gonna get a beating...
1456
01:58:31,437 --> 01:58:35,168
and I come down here and, uh...
get a beating.
1457
01:58:35,274 --> 01:58:37,333
- Were you asking for it?
- No.
1458
01:58:37,443 --> 01:58:39,502
I wasn't.
They just come out of nowhere.
1459
01:58:39,612 --> 01:58:41,910
- Honest?
- Yeah.
1460
01:58:46,652 --> 01:58:48,847
- So, what you gonna do?
- What you gonna do?
1461
01:58:49,956 --> 01:58:52,254
What are you gonna do?
1462
01:58:52,358 --> 01:58:54,952
Don't know.
Might go home for the weekend.
1463
01:58:55,061 --> 01:58:57,154
Well, there's no place like it.
1464
01:58:57,263 --> 01:58:59,231
Might not come back.
1465
01:59:00,833 --> 01:59:02,801
Are you going back?
1466
01:59:08,207 --> 01:59:10,175
Is that nice?
1467
01:59:11,944 --> 01:59:15,141
- Yeah.
- I'm puttin' the "fun" back in fundament.
1468
01:59:15,248 --> 01:59:17,239
Are ya?
1469
01:59:18,818 --> 01:59:21,946
- Well, I'll have to go back sometime, won't I?
- And what about us?
1470
01:59:22,054 --> 01:59:24,420
What about us?
1471
01:59:29,128 --> 01:59:31,926
- Do ya hate me?
- Fuck off.
1472
01:59:36,335 --> 01:59:38,769
My mum was seven years younger than you
when she had me.
1473
01:59:38,871 --> 01:59:39,517
- Don't.
- What?
1474
01:59:39,511 --> 01:59:40,896
- Just -
1475
01:59:42,675 --> 01:59:45,405
Well, she was.
1476
01:59:47,513 --> 01:59:49,504
- I'm full of shit, aren't I?
- Sometimes.
1477
01:59:49,615 --> 01:59:53,483
- Well, I've had it all kicked out of me now.
- Oh. Good.
1478
01:59:55,254 --> 01:59:59,156
What if God just put us here
for his own entertainment?
1479
01:59:59,258 --> 02:00:03,661
That's all we are - just something for him
to have a bit of a laugh at.
1480
02:00:03,763 --> 02:00:05,424
Could be, couldn't it...
1481
02:00:05,531 --> 02:00:07,624
if you think about it?
1482
02:00:10,770 --> 02:00:13,330
Give us your right hand.
1483
02:00:13,439 --> 02:00:15,407
The other way up.
1484
02:00:23,049 --> 02:00:25,847
What's that?
1485
02:00:27,720 --> 02:00:30,484
- That's funny to me.
- You're daft, you.
1486
02:00:30,590 --> 02:00:32,888
It's, uh, toilet humor.
1487
02:00:36,596 --> 02:00:39,360
Will you give me a cuddle, Johnny?
1488
02:00:39,465 --> 02:00:41,433
Yeah.
1489
02:01:08,194 --> 02:01:10,094
What's the matter?
1490
02:01:10,196 --> 02:01:13,165
Can you not tell me?
1491
02:01:26,946 --> 02:01:30,347
If no one tells me what's going on,
then how am I supposed to-
1492
02:01:30,449 --> 02:01:32,349
I don't understand, Johnny!
1493
02:01:32,451 --> 02:01:34,885
- How was Zambia?
- It was Zimbabwe!
1494
02:01:34,987 --> 02:01:38,354
I went to Zimbabwe
with my wanker boyfriend - my ex -
1495
02:01:38,457 --> 02:01:40,357
What did I do wrong?
1496
02:01:40,459 --> 02:01:42,359
Did you see any big animals?
1497
02:01:42,461 --> 02:01:46,898
Yes! We saw elephants and rhinos
and zebras and lions and vultures.
1498
02:01:46,999 --> 02:01:49,399
- Did you see any monkeys?
- We saw many monkeys.
1499
02:01:49,502 --> 02:01:51,402
Were they cheeky?
1500
02:01:51,504 --> 02:01:53,904
It's not good for me, is it,
all this, in my condition?
1501
02:01:54,006 --> 02:01:57,840
Well, yes - No - Yes -
It's not good for me, it's not good for you.
1502
02:01:57,943 --> 02:02:01,845
- It's not good for any of us! It's utterly-
- Oh, excuse me for living!
1503
02:02:05,718 --> 02:02:07,948
Is - Is this it, Johnny?
1504
02:02:08,054 --> 02:02:09,954
Is what it?
1505
02:02:10,056 --> 02:02:12,684
I can't bear it!
1506
02:02:14,393 --> 02:02:16,293
Right. I'm off!
1507
02:02:16,395 --> 02:02:18,295
Off your trolley.
1508
02:02:18,397 --> 02:02:22,458
Oh, don't fucking take the piss
out of me, you bastard!
1509
02:02:22,568 --> 02:02:24,468
You don't know!
1510
02:02:24,570 --> 02:02:28,631
All I want -
Nobody has any-
1511
02:02:28,741 --> 02:02:31,141
Can you just please try and-
1512
02:02:31,243 --> 02:02:34,337
- I've had enough! Oh, God!
- This is a nightmare!
1513
02:02:36,449 --> 02:02:39,350
- If you could just try and pull yourself together-
- Where you going?
1514
02:02:39,452 --> 02:02:42,353
- I don't know!
- Why don't you come and have a lie-down?
1515
02:02:42,455 --> 02:02:44,355
- I don't care!
- Sophie!
1516
02:02:44,457 --> 02:02:46,857
- Here's the keys!
- I don't want the keys.
1517
02:02:46,959 --> 02:02:51,055
- Well, I don't fucking want 'em!
- I'm not a social worker!
1518
02:02:51,163 --> 02:02:53,063
Sophie.
1519
02:02:53,165 --> 02:02:55,065
Don't be fucking stupid.
1520
02:02:55,167 --> 02:02:57,658
What's the point, Louise?
1521
02:02:57,770 --> 02:03:01,171
Sophie!
1522
02:03:02,007 --> 02:03:04,703
I'm sorry.
1523
02:03:29,135 --> 02:03:31,105
Johnny.
1524
02:03:39,645 --> 02:03:41,545
You all right?
1525
02:03:41,647 --> 02:03:44,707
- Mmm?
- I'm going.
1526
02:03:44,817 --> 02:03:47,718
- Where?
- Work, to hand me notice in.
1527
02:03:47,820 --> 02:03:50,721
Then I'm coming back here
and packing me bags and I'm going home.
1528
02:03:50,823 --> 02:03:53,087
- Do you want to come?
- Today?
1529
02:03:53,192 --> 02:03:54,420
- Yeah.
- You serious?
1530
02:03:54,527 --> 02:03:56,085
- Yeah.
- How?
1531
02:03:56,195 --> 02:03:57,822
Bus.
1532
02:04:00,666 --> 02:04:02,566
- Well, have you got enough dough?
- Yeah.
1533
02:04:02,668 --> 02:04:04,795
- 'Cause I've not got nothin'.
- I know.
1534
02:04:07,506 --> 02:04:10,407
Do you think you can make it?
1535
02:04:10,509 --> 02:04:12,136
Don't know.
1536
02:04:13,679 --> 02:04:16,978
Well, if you can't,
we can stay here till tomorrow.
1537
02:04:28,861 --> 02:04:30,829
I'll see you later.
1538
02:04:32,097 --> 02:04:34,759
Uh, can you leave us a few fags
for cancer research?
1539
02:04:34,867 --> 02:04:36,835
Here are your sh -
1540
02:04:38,003 --> 02:04:40,904
I was actually hoping
that the air could-
1541
02:04:41,006 --> 02:04:43,634
What are we gonna do about all this?
1542
02:04:43,742 --> 02:04:45,642
I don't know, Sandra.
1543
02:04:45,744 --> 02:04:47,712
Look, I'll see you
in a couple of hours.
1544
02:04:47,813 --> 02:04:50,043
- Fine.
- Uh, you will come back?
1545
02:04:50,149 --> 02:04:52,049
Yeah. Of course I will.
1546
02:04:52,151 --> 02:04:54,244
- Because I need -
- You'll be all right, won't ya?
1547
02:04:54,353 --> 02:04:58,653
- Will I be all right, love?
- I'm gonna get the bath cleaned.
1548
02:05:16,609 --> 02:05:19,237
You all know what it does to you...
1549
02:05:19,345 --> 02:05:22,906
and yet you still insist on doing it,
so do it.
1550
02:05:23,015 --> 02:05:25,449
Smoke yourself to...
1551
02:05:25,551 --> 02:05:27,451
Well, birds do it, bees do it.
1552
02:05:27,553 --> 02:05:29,919
High heaven.
1553
02:05:30,022 --> 02:05:31,922
Can you tell me something, love?
1554
02:05:32,024 --> 02:05:34,925
Is it true that some babies
are born covered in fur?
1555
02:05:35,027 --> 02:05:37,257
Up.
1556
02:05:37,363 --> 02:05:39,263
Thank you.
1557
02:05:39,365 --> 02:05:42,266
And you know, at birth,
when you cut the umbilical cord...
1558
02:05:42,368 --> 02:05:45,769
what would happen if, uh-
well, if it was never cut?
1559
02:05:45,871 --> 02:05:48,840
I don't need this. I just -
1560
02:05:48,941 --> 02:05:51,637
Well, it'd be embarrassing, wouldn't it?
Especially at my age.
1561
02:05:51,744 --> 02:05:54,645
Why do you feel the need
to take the piss?
1562
02:05:54,747 --> 02:05:56,510
I'm not taking a piss.
1563
02:05:56,615 --> 02:05:59,311
- It's nice, that. Where is it from?
- I don't know.
1564
02:05:59,418 --> 02:06:01,113
It's something my dad -
1565
02:06:01,220 --> 02:06:03,484
Now, you see,
Sophie just turned that to the wall.
1566
02:06:03,589 --> 02:06:06,786
She's got this kind of
irritating proclivity for negation.
1567
02:06:06,892 --> 02:06:08,860
Suppose she thinks
it's progressive or something.
1568
02:06:08,961 --> 02:06:12,124
- What is your problem?
- Nothing. What's your problem?
1569
02:06:12,231 --> 02:06:15,462
All these silly questions and -
1570
02:06:15,568 --> 02:06:19,629
Well, look, I've never met a nurse before,
and I'm just interested in, uh - well, in life.
1571
02:06:19,738 --> 02:06:22,002
I mean, do you think it's worth savin'?
1572
02:06:22,107 --> 02:06:24,007
Of course I do!
1573
02:06:24,109 --> 02:06:26,771
But there is a time and a place...
1574
02:06:26,879 --> 02:06:30,872
and, actually,
this isn't the time or-
1575
02:06:31,650 --> 02:06:33,743
- The place?
- No.
1576
02:06:33,852 --> 02:06:37,447
And this is where I -
1577
02:06:37,556 --> 02:06:39,751
- Live?
- Yes!
1578
02:06:39,858 --> 02:06:41,758
And I'm not feeling very-
1579
02:06:41,860 --> 02:06:43,487
- Sexy?
- Comfortable, actually.
1580
02:06:43,596 --> 02:06:45,325
I'm not feeling very comfortable.
1581
02:06:45,431 --> 02:06:48,992
Well, make yourself comfortable, love,
or slip into something more.
1582
02:06:51,070 --> 02:06:52,970
My bath -
1583
02:06:53,072 --> 02:06:58,203
Hot toast, hot milk,
hot water bottle, bed, sleep.
1584
02:06:58,310 --> 02:07:00,801
- Do you like me?
- I don't know you.
1585
02:07:00,913 --> 02:07:03,643
- So -
- Do you find me attractive?
1586
02:07:05,517 --> 02:07:07,451
Well, listen, love, it's like this -
I find you attractive.
1587
02:07:07,553 --> 02:07:10,454
- Very attractive.
- Enough.
1588
02:07:10,556 --> 02:07:12,456
I've had enough.
1589
02:07:12,558 --> 02:07:16,892
It comes at me from all angles.
1590
02:07:16,996 --> 02:07:18,896
Y-You - All of you just -
1591
02:07:18,998 --> 02:07:21,023
I-It's the tin lids -
1592
02:07:21,133 --> 02:07:25,399
When - How will the world ever -
1593
02:07:26,372 --> 02:07:28,465
- End?
- Yes!
1594
02:07:29,305 --> 02:08:29,477
Watch any video online with Open-SUBTITLES
Free Browser extension: osdb.link/ext127954
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.