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1
00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:04,488
Your son?
2
00:00:05,413 --> 00:00:07,131
Uh, ah, Dad?
3
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,725
Well, um... What?
4
00:00:10,973 --> 00:00:14,011
Oh, my God!
5
00:00:14,974 --> 00:00:17,693
This is where I wish
I had one of those remotes...
6
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:22,052
...that could reset time
about 15 seconds. The "poise" delay.
7
00:00:25,614 --> 00:00:27,047
Here's your brother.
8
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:30,128
Ally, this is my son, Jonathan.
9
00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:31,364
I think we've met.
10
00:00:31,575 --> 00:00:33,725
Met? We've been on a date together.
11
00:00:33,975 --> 00:00:35,203
Hello again.
12
00:00:35,455 --> 00:00:37,685
- You what?
- Well, now it makes sense.
13
00:00:37,935 --> 00:00:42,053
I've been thinking, "How could
I have met two men in the same week...
14
00:00:42,255 --> 00:00:45,089
...who resemble each other
in such flattering ways?"
15
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,809
Now I understand. How funny.
16
00:00:47,016 --> 00:00:49,974
But not having
one of those remotes...
17
00:00:50,696 --> 00:00:54,609
Oh. I totally have to pee.
18
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,135
I've been down this road
19
00:00:58,656 --> 00:01:00,648
Without A Net
20
00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:04,816
Walking the line
That's painted by pride
21
00:01:05,377 --> 00:01:07,652
And I have made mistakes in my life
22
00:01:07,897 --> 00:01:11,572
That I just can't hide
23
00:01:12,177 --> 00:01:14,771
Oh, I believe I am ready
24
00:01:15,017 --> 00:01:18,727
For what love has to bring
25
00:01:19,338 --> 00:01:21,852
I got myself together
26
00:01:22,058 --> 00:01:26,290
Yeah, now I'm ready to sing
27
00:01:26,538 --> 00:01:29,689
I've been searching my soul tonight
28
00:01:29,938 --> 00:01:33,249
I know there's so much more to life
29
00:01:33,459 --> 00:01:36,257
Now I know I can shine a light
30
00:01:36,499 --> 00:01:39,855
To find my way back home
31
00:01:41,259 --> 00:01:44,649
Oh, baby, yeah
32
00:01:45,019 --> 00:01:47,693
Oh, yeah
33
00:02:03,661 --> 00:02:06,573
One day I will look back
at this and laugh.
34
00:02:07,621 --> 00:02:11,614
Or cry. One or the other,
I'm sure of it.
35
00:02:11,821 --> 00:02:13,220
Ally?
36
00:02:13,981 --> 00:02:16,415
Kimmie. Kimmie Bishop.
37
00:02:16,781 --> 00:02:18,294
Kimmie...
38
00:02:18,541 --> 00:02:20,339
- Hi!
- How are you?
39
00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:21,611
Oh, I'm great.
40
00:02:22,502 --> 00:02:25,016
Ally McBeal, the girls.
Girls, Ally.
41
00:02:25,222 --> 00:02:26,974
I am here with the officers...
42
00:02:27,182 --> 00:02:29,901
...of the Women of Virtue Bar Chapter
of Massachusetts.
43
00:02:30,142 --> 00:02:31,621
Of which I'm president.
44
00:02:31,862 --> 00:02:34,980
That's fantastic!
God, after all these years.
45
00:02:35,543 --> 00:02:39,013
Ally was voted "Biggest Prude"
three years running.
46
00:02:39,223 --> 00:02:40,497
Actually, two.
47
00:02:40,823 --> 00:02:43,621
I tried to recruit her
for our Christian Coalition...
48
00:02:43,823 --> 00:02:45,814
...but she wouldn't commit.
I thought:
49
00:02:46,023 --> 00:02:49,732
"We have to get her.
She is poster material. " Am I wrong?
50
00:02:49,983 --> 00:02:53,294
Well, I almost joined.
Especially when you promised me...
51
00:02:53,504 --> 00:02:55,859
...that free spermicide
underneath the table.
52
00:02:56,104 --> 00:02:58,254
But when I went down there
to get it...
53
00:02:58,464 --> 00:03:00,819
...I found you munching away
on my boyfriend.
54
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:07,500
- Ally was always such a kidder.
- I'd love to stay and chat.
55
00:03:08,185 --> 00:03:10,699
But I'm on a date
with a father and son team.
56
00:03:10,905 --> 00:03:13,783
And tonight they brought
the sister, which...
57
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,941
Well, things could get really wild.
58
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:23,102
Hi. What did I miss?
59
00:03:23,346 --> 00:03:25,302
Well, obviously, we have...
60
00:03:25,546 --> 00:03:29,425
...a rather impossible situation,
but I...
61
00:03:30,546 --> 00:03:33,219
I'm going to remove myself
from the equation.
62
00:03:33,626 --> 00:03:35,059
Dad, I'm opting out. Okay?
63
00:03:35,306 --> 00:03:36,819
I won't date a woman...
64
00:03:37,066 --> 00:03:39,786
...who harbors interest in my son.
- Like I want a girl...
65
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:43,059
...who's got the hots for my dad?
- Men my age don't get hots.
66
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:46,105
Come on, Dad.
You sang Neil Diamond to her.
67
00:03:46,347 --> 00:03:47,462
Jonathan, forget it.
68
00:03:47,867 --> 00:03:50,904
- Do I get an opinion in all of this?
- Of course.
69
00:03:51,107 --> 00:03:52,506
Like you say, obviously...
70
00:03:52,747 --> 00:03:57,299
...we have some pretty
unusual circumstances.
71
00:03:57,508 --> 00:03:58,861
I'm sorry, I've gotta go.
72
00:04:01,268 --> 00:04:05,022
I'm sorry, Ally. Maybe some guys
could get past this, but...
73
00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:07,818
...he is my son, and...
74
00:04:09,228 --> 00:04:12,665
I'm sorry, I think I need
some time too. I apologize.
75
00:04:21,589 --> 00:04:24,387
- So they both dumped you?
- Well, sort of.
76
00:04:24,749 --> 00:04:26,627
I wouldn't want to go out
with a guy...
77
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:28,582
...who was interested in my mother.
78
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:29,779
That's different.
79
00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:33,619
Your mother's an old wrinkly thing.
Michael's at least half cute.
80
00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:36,464
- For a relic.
- I think these slumber parties...
81
00:04:36,670 --> 00:04:38,069
...have served their purpose.
82
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:41,023
- I don't see why you can't date both.
- Excuse me?
83
00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:43,062
I agree.
We've all sat in this room...
84
00:04:43,311 --> 00:04:45,222
...belaboring the dearth of good men.
85
00:04:45,471 --> 00:04:47,541
You've met two,
and neither are married.
86
00:04:48,151 --> 00:04:50,267
The relationship poses obstacles...
87
00:04:50,511 --> 00:04:54,424
...to you having a relationship
with either, but it isn't prohibitive.
88
00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,821
And in light of the dearth...
89
00:05:04,632 --> 00:05:05,747
Oh.
90
00:05:09,872 --> 00:05:12,306
- Jonathan.
- Please, don't say anything.
91
00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:15,989
I apologize for walking out.
But I was pretty...
92
00:05:16,753 --> 00:05:18,186
...well, devastated.
93
00:05:18,473 --> 00:05:22,625
I've never met somebody where
I felt such an innate connection.
94
00:05:22,833 --> 00:05:25,506
I wanted to make love to you
as soon as I saw you...
95
00:05:25,713 --> 00:05:26,907
...sitting at that table.
96
00:05:27,153 --> 00:05:28,905
- Even looking at you now...
- Jonathan.
97
00:05:29,153 --> 00:05:31,622
Please, I need to say this.
I just came here...
98
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:34,473
...to make sure that you know
that me walking away...
99
00:05:34,674 --> 00:05:37,234
...had nothing to do
with being indifferent...
100
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,943
Can I ask you one thing?
101
00:05:41,154 --> 00:05:43,827
- Before you do...
- No, just let me ask. Do you...
102
00:05:44,114 --> 00:05:46,788
...like my father
because he's a great guy?
103
00:05:47,835 --> 00:05:51,145
Or are you really attracted
to him sexually?
104
00:05:58,235 --> 00:06:00,430
Can I get back to you on that?
105
00:06:01,516 --> 00:06:02,631
Yeah, um...
106
00:06:03,716 --> 00:06:05,229
I wish you would.
107
00:06:20,197 --> 00:06:23,633
It brings me comfort knowing
everything happens for a reason.
108
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:26,710
It would just be nice once
to be let in on it.
109
00:06:26,957 --> 00:06:30,029
Hey!
- I'm walking here.
110
00:06:30,997 --> 00:06:32,635
You!
111
00:06:35,838 --> 00:06:36,827
Kimmie.
112
00:06:37,038 --> 00:06:39,598
You humiliated me
in front of my friends.
113
00:06:39,798 --> 00:06:41,151
People who look up to me.
114
00:06:41,358 --> 00:06:42,473
Oh.
115
00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:46,432
Oh, Kimmie, I'm so sorry. I had no
idea that they looked up to you.
116
00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:49,517
I'm disappointed you've become
such a coarse person.
117
00:06:50,199 --> 00:06:53,236
I can't believe I could even say
what I'm about to say.
118
00:06:53,439 --> 00:06:55,953
May you never find a man.
119
00:07:00,399 --> 00:07:03,630
Oh, the reason we're crossing paths...
It isn't coincidence...
120
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:07,908
- I've just dropped off a complaint
and a summons at your office.
121
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,838
- Excuse me?
- I'm suing you...
122
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,553
...for defamation, you bitch.
123
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,828
I'm so sorry, Sister.
I didn't mean it.
124
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:19,636
Oh, she's put on a little weight
and her diaphragm is pinching.
125
00:07:21,521 --> 00:07:23,989
Add that to your complaint, you witch.
126
00:07:26,921 --> 00:07:28,991
Come on, it's...!
127
00:07:29,201 --> 00:07:32,273
If I'd seen you,
I'd have lowered my shoulder.
128
00:07:32,561 --> 00:07:34,836
Larry. Hey!
129
00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:36,235
- How's it going?
- Good.
130
00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:39,042
On my way to work,
plowing down pedestrians.
131
00:07:39,282 --> 00:07:42,240
- You've had that first cup of coffee.
- Exactly.
132
00:07:42,602 --> 00:07:43,830
- How are you?
- Good.
133
00:07:44,082 --> 00:07:46,391
Still making people think
I'm a therapist...
134
00:07:46,642 --> 00:07:48,917
...by putting "Attorney at Law"
on my door.
135
00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:55,642
- Ally?
- Hi.
136
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,196
Hi. How's Bryan?
137
00:07:57,763 --> 00:08:00,641
Oh, he's past-tense.
138
00:08:00,843 --> 00:08:03,880
I'm dating a father and son now.
It's a long story.
139
00:08:04,123 --> 00:08:06,114
I met the father. I dated him.
140
00:08:06,363 --> 00:08:07,921
I met the son. I dated him.
141
00:08:08,163 --> 00:08:10,155
- I didn't know, and now...
- It happens.
142
00:08:11,404 --> 00:08:13,042
If you need a sympathetic ear...
143
00:08:13,244 --> 00:08:14,472
...I can fake it.
- Thanks.
144
00:08:14,764 --> 00:08:17,836
- Okay. Good to see you again.
- You too.
145
00:08:43,326 --> 00:08:45,965
First up, Ally,
what's this about you being sued?
146
00:08:46,206 --> 00:08:49,403
Oh, Kimmie Bishop.
Remember her from law school?
147
00:08:49,646 --> 00:08:51,477
Remember her? Androgynous beast.
148
00:08:51,726 --> 00:08:54,445
Talk about a woman
with stones of her own.
149
00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:59,240
Oh, hi, Mark. No, we weren't talking
about your girlfriend, I promise.
150
00:08:59,487 --> 00:09:02,320
Why is she suing you, Ally?
- Defamation, libel.
151
00:09:02,807 --> 00:09:04,320
It's ridiculous.
152
00:09:04,527 --> 00:09:09,555
- This is going to sound cold-hearted...
- Coming from you, I can't believe it.
153
00:09:10,247 --> 00:09:13,718
While I consider myself
to be a very tolerant person...
154
00:09:14,528 --> 00:09:18,840
...Mark's dating a person who...
Yuck! It's disgusting.
155
00:09:19,048 --> 00:09:20,481
And when word gets out...
156
00:09:20,688 --> 00:09:24,044
...which it will
because it's such a good story...
157
00:09:24,248 --> 00:09:26,842
...it'll not only embarrass you,
but the firm.
158
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,728
- How so?
- Well, you're a litigator.
159
00:09:29,969 --> 00:09:32,563
You stand up
in front of judges and juries.
160
00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:35,317
How much credibility
do you think you'll have...
161
00:09:35,569 --> 00:09:38,288
...when your brethren find out
your girlfriend...
162
00:09:38,529 --> 00:09:40,042
...has a man-missile?
163
00:09:41,689 --> 00:09:44,841
It's not gay rights. It's...
164
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:49,409
...a circus act, and it's disgusting.
- It's my private life.
165
00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:53,279
It doesn't involve this firm.
And this conversation is over.
166
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:58,044
Okay.
167
00:09:58,410 --> 00:10:02,040
Next up. Michaels versus Henderson.
I believe...
168
00:10:02,971 --> 00:10:04,245
Ally?
169
00:10:04,851 --> 00:10:06,603
Michael Bassett is here.
170
00:10:09,811 --> 00:10:11,039
Michael!
171
00:10:12,771 --> 00:10:16,526
I came to apologize
for fleeing the scene last night.
172
00:10:16,772 --> 00:10:19,445
I was...
I guess I came rather undone.
173
00:10:19,692 --> 00:10:21,569
Well, I can understand.
174
00:10:22,172 --> 00:10:24,083
- But...
- You had high hopes for me...
175
00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:27,648
...and they were a little dashed
at the sight of your son?
176
00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:32,247
Look, I'm not going to compete
with Jonathan.
177
00:10:33,213 --> 00:10:35,773
But that's why you're here,
aren't you?
178
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:40,284
What are your feelings for Jonathan?
I only ask because...
179
00:10:40,533 --> 00:10:43,252
I just met you,
and I just met him...
180
00:10:43,453 --> 00:10:45,967
...and you both seem
like really nice guys.
181
00:10:46,173 --> 00:10:50,645
But it's just too early
for me to know anything really.
182
00:10:50,854 --> 00:10:55,086
Yeah, I guess...
Well, why don't I just say it?
183
00:10:55,814 --> 00:10:57,486
Jonathan and I both agree...
184
00:10:57,694 --> 00:11:00,845
...that you might be
the most amazing woman on earth...
185
00:11:01,054 --> 00:11:04,764
...and it would be a tragedy
if at least one of us didn't get you.
186
00:11:05,655 --> 00:11:07,373
Now that was a good answer.
187
00:11:07,615 --> 00:11:10,652
And I'm here now
to say we won't compete.
188
00:11:10,895 --> 00:11:13,045
This has to be your choice.
189
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:15,564
But I'm not equipped
to make that choice...
190
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:19,085
...and if you're asking me
to flip a coin, I just won't do it.
191
00:11:19,335 --> 00:11:23,648
For me to make an informed decision,
I have to continue seeing both of you.
192
00:11:23,896 --> 00:11:25,124
Did I just say that?
193
00:11:27,816 --> 00:11:29,374
It's a little strange, Ally.
194
00:11:30,976 --> 00:11:34,764
I won't exchange saliva
or bodily fluids with either of you.
195
00:11:36,417 --> 00:11:38,806
Not until I narrow the field to one.
196
00:11:39,057 --> 00:11:41,287
Now, go.
197
00:11:42,537 --> 00:11:46,052
Go and take your son to a ball game.
198
00:11:46,617 --> 00:11:49,848
And I will give you
the first date tonight.
199
00:11:53,618 --> 00:11:55,051
I'll look back and laugh.
200
00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:59,046
I'll look back and laugh.
I'll look back and laugh.
201
00:12:07,939 --> 00:12:09,258
You're gonna date them both?
202
00:12:09,499 --> 00:12:11,376
- Am I crazy?
- That's beside the point.
203
00:12:11,619 --> 00:12:13,291
It's hard to meet a normal guy...
204
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:16,855
...who doesn't turn out to be
an escaped prisoner, or a woman.
205
00:12:17,099 --> 00:12:18,293
Hey, lay off it.
206
00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:20,734
- Could you do that, please?
- Sorry.
207
00:12:20,979 --> 00:12:23,733
What if it works out with one?
You could marry.
208
00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:26,454
The in-law comes
for Thanksgiving wanting...
209
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:29,260
...your thigh over the turkey's.
- This is private.
210
00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:32,249
- Your wages have been garnished.
- Excuse me?
211
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,049
I got the notice from the court.
Kimmie Bishop went in ex parte.
212
00:12:36,260 --> 00:12:37,454
- What?
- A court order.
213
00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:40,653
I have to start withholding wages,
put them in escrow.
214
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:41,930
Elaine?
215
00:12:42,621 --> 00:12:45,055
I want to respond to this.
216
00:12:49,341 --> 00:12:53,254
- Are you okay?
- Fine. I was just startled.
217
00:12:55,062 --> 00:12:56,654
- Cindy, hi.
- Mark, hi.
218
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,574
- What's up?
- I had some business...
219
00:12:58,782 --> 00:13:01,854
...across the street.
I thought I'd stop by and say hello.
220
00:13:04,942 --> 00:13:09,493
Anyway, I'm gonna be done around noon.
You want to have some lunch?
221
00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:10,731
- Sure.
- Great.
222
00:13:10,983 --> 00:13:13,258
- I'll come by when I'm done.
- Great.
223
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,055
Yeah. Okay.
224
00:13:28,984 --> 00:13:30,463
Hello again.
225
00:13:31,304 --> 00:13:32,453
Hello.
226
00:13:35,104 --> 00:13:37,060
My penis makes you nervous.
227
00:13:50,785 --> 00:13:51,854
Hey!
228
00:13:52,785 --> 00:13:56,619
Ally. Don't tell me.
The son has a twin.
229
00:13:56,985 --> 00:13:58,464
Funny.
230
00:14:00,066 --> 00:14:01,499
I'm here to hire you.
231
00:14:02,346 --> 00:14:03,335
Hire me?
232
00:14:03,626 --> 00:14:05,184
I've been sued.
233
00:14:05,426 --> 00:14:08,543
I could have a member of my own firm
to represent me...
234
00:14:08,746 --> 00:14:10,304
...but I think it makes sense...
235
00:14:10,506 --> 00:14:13,464
...to hire outside counsel.
- I assume you checked me out?
236
00:14:19,387 --> 00:14:22,584
You seem smart, and since
you're a solo practitioner...
237
00:14:22,787 --> 00:14:25,062
...I figure you must be
a decent litigator.
238
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:27,337
- Lf you don't want to do it...
- I want it.
239
00:14:27,587 --> 00:14:31,467
- Well, good. Excellent. Great.
- Great.
240
00:14:31,868 --> 00:14:34,063
Okay, then.
241
00:14:36,868 --> 00:14:39,860
Ally, is there something
you'd like to talk about?
242
00:14:40,108 --> 00:14:43,817
What? No, no, why?
What would I have to talk about?
243
00:14:44,428 --> 00:14:46,259
- The case?
- Oh.
244
00:14:47,549 --> 00:14:49,983
Oh. That's... I forgot.
245
00:14:52,389 --> 00:14:54,459
Oh, that's funny. Yeah.
246
00:14:54,709 --> 00:14:57,781
While having dinner
with the father and son...
247
00:14:58,029 --> 00:15:00,702
...I passed a puritanical witch
I knew in law school.
248
00:15:00,949 --> 00:15:04,181
She was with her friends, wearing
their Gucci chastity belts...
249
00:15:04,430 --> 00:15:07,388
...and I said something
about her slipping me spermicide.
250
00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:09,905
She says it impugned her.
She filed suit.
251
00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:13,620
She amended the complaint
after I said something in passing...
252
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:17,345
...about a pinching diaphragm
within the earshot of a nun.
253
00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:21,140
And now I sit before you, garnished.
254
00:15:21,511 --> 00:15:24,184
So, do you have any thoughts?
255
00:15:24,511 --> 00:15:25,739
Are you wealthy?
256
00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:29,061
That's not an appropriate question.
257
00:15:29,311 --> 00:15:32,189
To garnish a defendant's wages,
you have to show...
258
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,230
...that she has no obvious means
of settling a judgment...
259
00:15:35,432 --> 00:15:37,388
...should one be rendered against her.
260
00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:42,467
If you're wealthy, we could dissolve
the garnishment with little argument.
261
00:15:42,672 --> 00:15:46,267
That was my reason for asking.
I didn't mean to be inappropriate.
262
00:15:47,192 --> 00:15:50,344
I make my rent
and I can buy nice outfits.
263
00:15:50,553 --> 00:15:52,350
But it's not like I'm wealthy.
264
00:15:52,593 --> 00:15:54,151
Okay. Single.
265
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:57,347
- Ever been married?
- No.
266
00:15:58,353 --> 00:16:01,663
- How is that relevant?
- It isn't. I was just curious.
267
00:16:02,353 --> 00:16:04,787
I'm not wealthy. I need my paycheck.
268
00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:08,709
- How do we lift the garnishment?
- Let's go right into court.
269
00:16:08,954 --> 00:16:11,707
Challenge libel law.
I think it's gender-biased.
270
00:16:11,954 --> 00:16:15,230
We'll show the witch
that we're not gonna fool around.
271
00:16:16,034 --> 00:16:17,831
Did she slip you spermicide?
272
00:16:18,074 --> 00:16:22,865
- No. I was being caustic.
- I'll mark up the motion for 3:00.
273
00:16:23,075 --> 00:16:24,986
- Can you meet me there?
- I can.
274
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,509
Good. Good.
275
00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:30,073
- Complaint?
- No, everything sounds great.
276
00:16:30,315 --> 00:16:34,228
- The complaint. Did you bring it?
- Oh, yeah, I did.
277
00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,190
I'll see you in court.
278
00:16:40,676 --> 00:16:44,510
- Anything else I need to know?
- The son will probably live longer.
279
00:16:56,317 --> 00:16:57,670
John?
280
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:01,112
- Yes?
- What are you doing?
281
00:17:01,317 --> 00:17:04,275
I'm either playing Ping-Pong
or hanging upside down.
282
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:06,951
Want to guess,
or use up one of your lifelines?
283
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,313
- May I speak to you?
- Certainly.
284
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:12,749
Could I do it upright?
285
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:15,512
Does this involve
your girlfriend's genitalia?
286
00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:17,954
Yes, actually. How'd you know?
287
00:17:18,198 --> 00:17:22,635
There could only be so many things
on your mind, Mark. All right.
288
00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:30,677
I need an honest, open-minded,
grounded opinion.
289
00:17:31,199 --> 00:17:33,155
- Dump it.
- Dump it?
290
00:17:33,599 --> 00:17:35,635
He, she, whatever. Dump it.
291
00:17:36,159 --> 00:17:39,674
I know I can never have sex with her.
Can you imagine?
292
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,437
I would certainly prefer not to.
293
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,395
Look, Mark, platonic love affairs
have been known to exist.
294
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,950
There are perhaps countless reasons
to pursue this woman.
295
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,631
And only one not to.
296
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,671
But, as flaws go...
297
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,717
...she has a penis!
298
00:17:59,201 --> 00:18:03,080
Nelle was right. You draw a negative
conclusion about a man who...?
299
00:18:03,281 --> 00:18:07,354
I wish I could say I'm tolerant enough
to support this, but...
300
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:09,200
...I can't say it.
301
00:18:21,962 --> 00:18:23,600
I know what you're doing.
302
00:18:24,162 --> 00:18:27,359
- What am I doing?
- Trying to schedule a lot of motions.
303
00:18:27,562 --> 00:18:31,522
Send a message that this will cost me
bigtime to prosecute this case.
304
00:18:31,763 --> 00:18:34,482
I am in it for the long haul.
If you want to know why...
305
00:18:34,683 --> 00:18:36,082
She impugned you?
306
00:18:37,643 --> 00:18:39,440
Off the record, I'm smitten.
307
00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:45,075
What are you, snide? I'd expect her
to go out and hire a snide lawyer.
308
00:18:45,284 --> 00:18:46,922
- That is just like her.
- Kim?
309
00:18:48,404 --> 00:18:50,076
All rise.
310
00:18:50,524 --> 00:18:52,640
Never mind rise. You can all sit.
311
00:18:53,004 --> 00:18:55,677
On what basis do you move
to dismiss a claim...
312
00:18:55,924 --> 00:18:58,563
...on the very day it's filed?
313
00:18:59,204 --> 00:19:02,003
The claim is predicated
on common law principles...
314
00:19:02,245 --> 00:19:05,476
...which consider an attack
on a woman's chastity to be libel.
315
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,075
This law is archaic and gender-biased.
316
00:19:08,285 --> 00:19:11,595
Why is it illegal to call
a woman unchaste, but not a man?
317
00:19:11,805 --> 00:19:15,639
- It implied that she's promiscuous.
- Most girls would say thanks...
318
00:19:15,845 --> 00:19:19,839
...for the compliment. Promiscuous
isn't derogatory in today's society.
319
00:19:20,046 --> 00:19:22,606
- It is to my client.
- Lf Ms. McBeal's words...
320
00:19:22,806 --> 00:19:25,274
...offended Ms. Bishop,
the test for liability...
321
00:19:25,526 --> 00:19:27,357
...is whether they would cause her...
322
00:19:27,606 --> 00:19:29,881
...to be held in disrepute by others.
- Exactly.
323
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,646
And the others at the table
were all members...
324
00:19:32,887 --> 00:19:35,845
...of the Massachusetts
Women of Virtue Bar Chapter.
325
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,965
Ms. McBeal accused her
of passing spermicide...
326
00:19:39,207 --> 00:19:42,279
...and of performing a vile,
disgusting oral sexual act...
327
00:19:42,527 --> 00:19:44,324
...on her boyfriend under the table.
328
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,680
One second, Your Honor.
329
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:52,359
- Did we forget to tell me something?
- Whatever.
330
00:19:54,368 --> 00:19:57,041
These laws were passed
in a day not only where...
331
00:19:57,248 --> 00:20:00,320
...Congress and the public
considered premarital sex shameful...
332
00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:05,485
...but where oral sex was actually
a criminal offense in most states.
333
00:20:06,729 --> 00:20:10,119
- These are more enlightened times.
- Your client made the remarks...
334
00:20:10,329 --> 00:20:13,287
...to a group where she knew
it would cause embarrassment.
335
00:20:13,649 --> 00:20:15,241
Your motion to dismiss denied.
336
00:20:19,289 --> 00:20:21,360
I don't like being surprised in court.
337
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:25,165
If I'm to continue representing you,
you will fill me in...
338
00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:27,201
...on all the incidental tidbits.
339
00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:30,123
It's when he got strict with me
I knew I liked him.
340
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:33,640
I hope this doesn't mean deep down
I want to be spanked.
341
00:20:34,130 --> 00:20:37,089
- Satisfied?
- Kimmie, this is for you.
342
00:20:37,331 --> 00:20:39,367
- What's this?
- A notice of your deposition.
343
00:20:39,611 --> 00:20:41,920
We're going to have
a little conversation...
344
00:20:42,131 --> 00:20:45,089
...with a court reporter
writing everything down. Ally?
345
00:20:54,412 --> 00:20:58,724
I owe you an apology.
I shouldn't have imposed my bigotry.
346
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,005
You're hardly the only one.
347
00:21:05,772 --> 00:21:09,891
I had a bad experience once
as a teenager.
348
00:21:10,693 --> 00:21:15,244
I asked this beautiful boy, who
I thought was a girl, out on a date.
349
00:21:16,133 --> 00:21:19,011
When he accepted,
I, of course, became suspicious.
350
00:21:19,253 --> 00:21:21,847
I checked around.
The mistake was caught.
351
00:21:22,293 --> 00:21:26,082
But to this day, if a woman
is beautiful and wants to date me...
352
00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:28,609
...I immediately ask myself:
353
00:21:28,814 --> 00:21:30,167
"Has she got one?"
354
00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:31,409
John...
355
00:21:31,614 --> 00:21:34,492
I'm heading somewhere with this.
Please be patient.
356
00:21:35,254 --> 00:21:38,485
Several years ago, I dated
a lovely woman with a moustache.
357
00:21:39,054 --> 00:21:41,808
It was dyed, hard to see,
but when I kissed her...
358
00:21:42,015 --> 00:21:44,688
...I felt the bristle. It was there.
359
00:21:49,215 --> 00:21:50,648
I developed that twitch.
360
00:21:50,855 --> 00:21:53,369
Just thinking of the bristle
brings it back.
361
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:55,972
This is where you were headed?
362
00:21:56,216 --> 00:21:58,935
We went to see this therapist
who specializes...
363
00:21:59,176 --> 00:22:01,565
...in couples facing
unique challenges...
364
00:22:01,776 --> 00:22:05,325
...be it the disparity of backgrounds,
religion, lip bristle.
365
00:22:06,096 --> 00:22:07,848
His expertise is not only...
366
00:22:08,096 --> 00:22:10,564
...getting the individuals
to accept each other...
367
00:22:10,816 --> 00:22:14,571
...but gaining acceptance for them
as a couple from society.
368
00:22:14,817 --> 00:22:17,206
I think it would behoove you
to see him...
369
00:22:17,417 --> 00:22:21,695
...if for no other reason than to see
whether your hurdles are surmountable.
370
00:22:32,778 --> 00:22:35,338
To no one there
371
00:22:37,938 --> 00:22:40,691
And no one heard at all
372
00:22:40,938 --> 00:22:44,648
Not even the chair
373
00:22:47,779 --> 00:22:51,931
The thrill's gone. He's singing
Neil Diamond, and it's doing nothing.
374
00:22:52,179 --> 00:22:55,091
I'm not even fantasizing
over his son.
375
00:22:58,499 --> 00:23:00,297
And no one heard at all
376
00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:03,060
Not even the chair
377
00:23:14,940 --> 00:23:18,900
- Did you break up with him?
- No, but I'm getting the "ick" on him.
378
00:23:19,101 --> 00:23:21,615
Did he sing
"You Don't Bring Me Flowers"?
379
00:23:21,861 --> 00:23:25,376
No. I think he's saving it.
380
00:23:25,581 --> 00:23:28,857
- What'd you tell him?
- I need more space on this lawsuit.
381
00:23:29,061 --> 00:23:32,498
I could get nailed. The group
I made those remarks to...
382
00:23:32,702 --> 00:23:36,581
...are so virtuous that with libel,
they don't have to show damages.
383
00:23:37,102 --> 00:23:39,297
Why'd you hire Larry Paul
to defend you?
384
00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:42,771
I thought it made sense
to get outside counsel.
385
00:23:42,982 --> 00:23:44,256
I'm outside counsel.
386
00:23:44,582 --> 00:23:45,697
Oh.
387
00:23:46,422 --> 00:23:49,972
But you and I are roommates.
We have a personal relationship.
388
00:23:50,223 --> 00:23:51,656
I see.
389
00:23:53,423 --> 00:23:57,655
- Anything personal with Larry Paul?
- What? No. Him? Right.
390
00:23:57,903 --> 00:24:01,134
He's just... He's just...
He's just, you know...
391
00:24:01,383 --> 00:24:02,862
...so...
392
00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:05,457
...yummy.
393
00:24:12,064 --> 00:24:14,976
Did you check up on him...
394
00:24:15,224 --> 00:24:17,784
...to see if he's even capable
of defending you?
395
00:24:18,104 --> 00:24:22,098
You should have seen how smart he was
in court. This guy is a litigator.
396
00:24:22,385 --> 00:24:25,457
Well, I checked up on him
just the same.
397
00:24:25,705 --> 00:24:27,457
He's married.
398
00:24:30,465 --> 00:24:32,057
He is?
399
00:24:32,265 --> 00:24:33,618
Yeah.
400
00:24:35,266 --> 00:24:38,656
Well, he's just my lawyer, Renee.
There's nothing between us.
401
00:24:39,026 --> 00:24:41,620
- Okay.
- It doesn't mean he can't defend me.
402
00:24:41,866 --> 00:24:46,496
I have a lot of guys coming at me now,
of all ages. Related, even.
403
00:24:51,147 --> 00:24:54,856
I have a really big day tomorrow.
We're gonna depose Kimmie...
404
00:24:55,067 --> 00:24:57,945
...and then I might get deposed,
so I should go kill myself.
405
00:24:59,347 --> 00:25:00,382
Prepare...
406
00:25:00,747 --> 00:25:04,262
...myself.
407
00:25:34,029 --> 00:25:35,542
Ally, what brings you here?
408
00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:39,869
What brings me here?
The deposition. Remember?
409
00:25:40,510 --> 00:25:44,219
I scheduled it for your place
since my conference room is missing.
410
00:25:44,430 --> 00:25:48,309
I don't know how you plan to practice
law without a conference room.
411
00:25:48,550 --> 00:25:51,986
- Something's the matter. Have a seat.
- I'm not gonna sit.
412
00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:56,065
I bet you just love that, getting
all the girls to come in and sit.
413
00:25:56,271 --> 00:25:58,739
If it's not about the case,
I don't sit.
414
00:25:59,071 --> 00:26:03,587
All right. I've been meaning to
ask you something for a while now...
415
00:26:03,831 --> 00:26:06,265
...and it seems this would be
a good time.
416
00:26:08,271 --> 00:26:10,581
Ally, are you nuts? What's wrong?
417
00:26:10,832 --> 00:26:13,187
I'm erratic, okay? It's my right.
418
00:26:13,552 --> 00:26:16,669
I've got a lawsuit
my homeowner's policy doesn't cover.
419
00:26:16,912 --> 00:26:18,982
And I've been told I'm gonna lose.
420
00:26:19,232 --> 00:26:21,905
Two guys are chasing me.
Both I sort of like.
421
00:26:22,152 --> 00:26:26,270
But it would be rude to juggle them
since one comes from the other's seed.
422
00:26:26,513 --> 00:26:28,469
- Then there's...
- There's what?
423
00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:31,066
Nothing. That's it.
424
00:26:35,633 --> 00:26:36,827
I'll handle the suit.
425
00:26:37,033 --> 00:26:39,388
As for the father and son,
it's not that big a deal.
426
00:26:39,633 --> 00:26:41,624
Women date men to be with the brother.
427
00:26:41,953 --> 00:26:44,912
Also guys with girlfriends
who end up with the sisters.
428
00:26:45,114 --> 00:26:48,948
It happens. It's more unusual
with a father and son, but so what?
429
00:26:49,194 --> 00:26:52,823
- Date them both. The world won't end.
- Certainly not yours.
430
00:26:53,794 --> 00:26:56,672
- What am I missing here?
- Nothing. You've got it all.
431
00:27:04,155 --> 00:27:08,068
The thing is, we're all different.
432
00:27:08,435 --> 00:27:11,984
Some dissimilarities are latent.
Some are obvious.
433
00:27:12,235 --> 00:27:15,308
The physical ones, well...
They're easy.
434
00:27:15,556 --> 00:27:19,151
Those gaps are bridged
simply by acceptance.
435
00:27:19,396 --> 00:27:23,548
It's the mental
or emotional disparities...
436
00:27:23,796 --> 00:27:26,071
...that prove to be
much more malignant...
437
00:27:26,276 --> 00:27:29,188
...especially when these disparities
are internalized.
438
00:27:29,436 --> 00:27:32,395
You're all fragile creatures
with feelings.
439
00:27:32,597 --> 00:27:36,829
And as a couple,
those fragilities compound.
440
00:27:40,237 --> 00:27:41,875
Taxi!
441
00:27:42,157 --> 00:27:43,476
Cindy!
442
00:27:44,517 --> 00:27:46,270
That was humiliating.
443
00:27:46,518 --> 00:27:48,668
- I'm not a freak!
- I'm not saying you are.
444
00:27:48,918 --> 00:27:52,467
Then what was that?
A blob, a midget, a two-headed man?
445
00:27:52,678 --> 00:27:53,997
And a woman with a penis.
446
00:27:56,478 --> 00:27:57,877
I'm not a freak.
447
00:28:00,078 --> 00:28:02,468
And if that's how
you think of me, Mark...
448
00:28:03,559 --> 00:28:05,470
...then let's just forget this.
449
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,959
Kim Bishop is here
with her lawyer and the steno.
450
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,557
- Who's he?
- My lawyer, Larry Paul.
451
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:28,475
- My assistant, Elaine Vassal.
- It's nice to meet you.
452
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,997
Before we go in, very important:
You cannot antagonize her.
453
00:28:36,241 --> 00:28:40,234
I'll make it go away, but you have to
behave. I'd like you to be quiet.
454
00:28:40,441 --> 00:28:41,430
Okay.
455
00:28:42,321 --> 00:28:43,800
- Who's that?
I don't know.
456
00:28:44,001 --> 00:28:45,992
Some guy who has yet to drool over me.
457
00:28:46,241 --> 00:28:49,074
Ling, do you think
every man wants you?
458
00:28:50,002 --> 00:28:51,481
Yes.
459
00:28:52,562 --> 00:28:54,792
Let's get right on the record,
shall we?
460
00:28:55,002 --> 00:28:58,961
Shall we waive objections until trial,
except as to the form of the question?
461
00:28:59,162 --> 00:29:00,595
- Fine.
- Okay.
462
00:29:00,842 --> 00:29:02,673
Kimmie, I'll ask you questions...
463
00:29:02,882 --> 00:29:04,873
...as I'm sure your lawyer
has explained.
464
00:29:05,082 --> 00:29:07,119
If you don't understand
the question...
465
00:29:07,323 --> 00:29:09,883
...let me know,
and I'll try to be more clear.
466
00:29:11,243 --> 00:29:13,916
Okay, I think the statements
made by Ms. McBeal...
467
00:29:14,163 --> 00:29:18,475
...are on record, as is your umbrage.
And my question to you is:
468
00:29:19,243 --> 00:29:21,040
Why are you so upset?
469
00:29:21,444 --> 00:29:24,197
- How could you ask...?
- Before you answer, let me ask:
470
00:29:24,444 --> 00:29:29,472
Do people truly, truly think of you
as a chaste person?
471
00:29:30,044 --> 00:29:33,036
- They most certainly do.
- I mean the people who know you.
472
00:29:33,244 --> 00:29:35,314
The people who know me
know I'm chaste.
473
00:29:35,564 --> 00:29:38,682
Couldn't Ally have been mistaken?
474
00:29:38,925 --> 00:29:41,598
About me passing her spermicide?
475
00:29:42,005 --> 00:29:44,394
About me munching her boyfriend?
476
00:29:44,645 --> 00:29:49,480
If these things happened, couldn't
she mistakenly think it was you?
477
00:29:49,685 --> 00:29:52,563
Oh, please. She knows I could
never do those things.
478
00:29:52,805 --> 00:29:56,719
The people in the Virtue Club could
have made the mistake Ally made...
479
00:29:56,966 --> 00:29:59,275
Those people especially know me.
480
00:29:59,686 --> 00:30:02,120
They couldn't confuse you
for a spermicide vendor?
481
00:30:02,326 --> 00:30:03,554
Not in a million years.
482
00:30:03,846 --> 00:30:05,643
- They didn't believe her?
- No.
483
00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:07,040
- Kim...
- You're sure?
484
00:30:07,286 --> 00:30:09,278
Absolutely!
485
00:30:09,727 --> 00:30:13,322
Okay, Kimmie, we're done.
That didn't hurt too much, did it?
486
00:30:18,287 --> 00:30:19,879
What did I say?
487
00:30:26,928 --> 00:30:28,407
Chains
488
00:30:28,648 --> 00:30:32,687
My baby's got me
Locked up in chains
489
00:30:33,088 --> 00:30:35,522
And they ain't the kind
490
00:30:37,008 --> 00:30:39,442
That you can see
491
00:30:39,688 --> 00:30:41,088
He was so smooth.
492
00:30:41,329 --> 00:30:44,639
She admitted things before she had
time to realize what she was saying.
493
00:30:45,649 --> 00:30:46,798
Is the case over?
494
00:30:47,009 --> 00:30:49,204
No, those women might've
believed me...
495
00:30:49,409 --> 00:30:52,719
...so we have a settlement tomorrow
and hopefully we'll get rid of it.
496
00:30:53,209 --> 00:30:56,885
You'll be lucky. A woman's chastity
is liable per se. You'd have to...
497
00:30:57,090 --> 00:30:58,808
Show damages, I know.
498
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:04,083
- How's your dad?
- He's better.
499
00:31:04,290 --> 00:31:08,203
He said he had the whole room singing
last night, and you just sat there.
500
00:31:08,730 --> 00:31:11,688
Well, Jonathan, it's a little
conspicuous.
501
00:31:15,811 --> 00:31:17,085
What's wrong?
502
00:31:17,451 --> 00:31:21,444
Oh, it's just my lawyer
with somebody from my firm.
503
00:31:21,691 --> 00:31:24,080
- Small world, I guess.
- Itsy-bitsy.
504
00:31:25,091 --> 00:31:28,163
- Could you excuse me for one second?
- Sure.
505
00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:42,802
Hi, Ally. You know Larry.
506
00:31:43,012 --> 00:31:44,411
Yes, I do.
507
00:31:44,853 --> 00:31:48,050
Larry, do you mind if I talk to you
about our conference?
508
00:31:54,533 --> 00:31:58,208
- You know Nelle?
- I met her in your office today.
509
00:31:58,453 --> 00:32:00,888
She invited me for a drink.
She seems nice.
510
00:32:03,014 --> 00:32:04,083
Good hair.
511
00:32:04,854 --> 00:32:06,173
D- d... I... D-d... Think...
512
00:32:06,374 --> 00:32:08,251
You're married, Larry.
513
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,847
Don't you think
that's a little inappropriate?
514
00:32:12,054 --> 00:32:13,169
- No.
- No?
515
00:32:13,374 --> 00:32:14,602
I'm divorced.
516
00:32:16,174 --> 00:32:17,403
Oh.
517
00:32:17,695 --> 00:32:20,732
Good, I mean, no. I mean...
Never mind, I guess.
518
00:32:23,055 --> 00:32:27,287
Hate to interrupt, Ally, but your date
looks a little insecure over there.
519
00:32:27,495 --> 00:32:29,372
Elaine's putting out the pheromones.
520
00:32:30,295 --> 00:32:31,728
Thank you, Nelle.
521
00:32:32,776 --> 00:32:34,653
- See you tomorrow.
- I'll be there.
522
00:32:36,416 --> 00:32:38,407
And they ain't the kind
523
00:32:39,856 --> 00:32:42,575
That you can see
524
00:32:46,856 --> 00:32:49,530
- Everything okay?
- Fine.
525
00:33:06,618 --> 00:33:08,097
It's really all for the best.
526
00:33:08,298 --> 00:33:11,210
I have nothing against transgender
people, I really don't.
527
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:14,416
But no one should ever touch one,
much less... You know.
528
00:33:14,658 --> 00:33:16,091
Why can't you just be friends?
529
00:33:16,338 --> 00:33:18,613
Maybe that's the way it'll have to be.
530
00:33:18,858 --> 00:33:22,329
It's just she's the first woman
I've been able to talk to in...
531
00:33:22,579 --> 00:33:24,376
Let me tell you something about women.
532
00:33:24,939 --> 00:33:27,499
Don't talk to them.
They'll talk back.
533
00:33:27,699 --> 00:33:30,896
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Fish-ism.
534
00:33:31,139 --> 00:33:32,857
Cindy, she is obscene. Hi.
535
00:33:33,259 --> 00:33:34,897
She'll never be the mother...
536
00:33:35,980 --> 00:33:39,097
Cindy, hi, hey, hi.
We were just talking about you.
537
00:33:39,300 --> 00:33:41,734
Yeah. I heard you, Richard.
538
00:33:41,940 --> 00:33:45,819
I was representing the homophobic
point of view. I know it's out there.
539
00:33:46,060 --> 00:33:49,291
- Can I have a moment with Mark?
- Absolutely. I was on my way.
540
00:33:50,620 --> 00:33:52,896
Sorry. Excuse me.
541
00:34:02,941 --> 00:34:04,499
Do you think of me as a freak?
542
00:34:05,381 --> 00:34:08,852
I think of you as aberrant.
543
00:34:09,582 --> 00:34:12,892
The other night, you told me
that you saw me as a woman.
544
00:34:13,782 --> 00:34:15,534
One you wanted to continue seeing.
545
00:34:16,782 --> 00:34:20,457
I could never be sexual with you.
I think you're a great person.
546
00:34:20,702 --> 00:34:24,218
But maybe I'm influenced
by the way others see us.
547
00:34:24,423 --> 00:34:29,292
Then let's just be adult about this
and admit that it's not gonna work.
548
00:34:35,583 --> 00:34:36,857
Goodbye, Mark.
549
00:34:37,383 --> 00:34:38,372
Bye.
550
00:34:42,544 --> 00:34:46,093
- Richard, for all your support.
- Oh.
551
00:35:02,665 --> 00:35:05,020
- Ally.
- Nelle.
552
00:35:05,225 --> 00:35:07,136
- Is Larry here yet?
- No.
553
00:35:07,385 --> 00:35:09,296
We're still waiting for him.
554
00:35:09,545 --> 00:35:12,014
You two stay out late last night?
555
00:35:12,226 --> 00:35:14,342
I didn't check my watch.
556
00:35:14,586 --> 00:35:16,178
I rarely do when I'm having fun.
557
00:35:19,946 --> 00:35:23,222
So, you two hit it off?
558
00:35:24,106 --> 00:35:25,095
Well...
559
00:35:25,786 --> 00:35:28,347
- You're late!
- Sorry.
560
00:35:28,587 --> 00:35:29,986
- Hey, Nelle.
- Larry.
561
00:35:33,587 --> 00:35:35,305
Let's go.
562
00:35:37,987 --> 00:35:39,420
The fact that Ms. Bishop thinks...
563
00:35:39,627 --> 00:35:43,337
...those women would fail to attach
credibility to the remarks tendered...
564
00:35:43,548 --> 00:35:44,947
...that is not dispositive.
565
00:35:45,188 --> 00:35:47,224
If they did believe
those statements...
566
00:35:47,428 --> 00:35:52,058
...or if they made room for the
comments to have a basis in truth...
567
00:35:52,268 --> 00:35:54,224
...the action is still colorable.
568
00:35:55,308 --> 00:35:57,776
Kimmie, I checked. You are
very respected...
569
00:35:57,988 --> 00:36:01,026
...within your peer group.
Personally, I admire virgins.
570
00:36:01,269 --> 00:36:03,339
Privately, I collect them.
I'm sure you do.
571
00:36:03,709 --> 00:36:04,937
Snide.
572
00:36:05,149 --> 00:36:08,505
Here's my point. You called Ally
the poster child for prudeness.
573
00:36:08,709 --> 00:36:10,904
That can be considered as an insult...
574
00:36:11,109 --> 00:36:14,499
You said, "My point is this. "
You're not getting to it.
575
00:36:18,110 --> 00:36:21,898
The women probably considered
it nothing more than a catty fight.
576
00:36:22,110 --> 00:36:25,022
I'm sure they didn't think
what she said was true...
577
00:36:25,270 --> 00:36:29,309
...but when you sue over it,
when you go to trial...
578
00:36:29,750 --> 00:36:32,743
...they might think, "Maybe there
is something to it. "
579
00:36:32,991 --> 00:36:34,310
You don't want to do that.
580
00:36:34,591 --> 00:36:35,740
You're angry.
581
00:36:36,191 --> 00:36:39,069
I think what you're really
looking for is an apology.
582
00:36:39,591 --> 00:36:42,230
And you deserve one.
Ally insulted a woman...
583
00:36:42,471 --> 00:36:45,110
...who she probably deep down
wishes she could be.
584
00:36:45,791 --> 00:36:48,829
Let her apologize.
And let us all move on.
585
00:36:49,312 --> 00:36:54,227
Forgiveness is a virtue too, you know,
even more divine than chastity.
586
00:36:58,192 --> 00:37:00,308
If she apologizes.
587
00:37:01,392 --> 00:37:02,586
Ally.
588
00:37:06,793 --> 00:37:10,422
I'm sorry, Kimmie.
589
00:37:12,313 --> 00:37:13,507
I was wrong.
590
00:37:13,713 --> 00:37:17,501
I hope you accept my apology.
591
00:37:21,274 --> 00:37:23,504
- Okay, with attorney fees.
- Lf you think...
592
00:37:23,714 --> 00:37:24,908
That would be acceptable.
593
00:37:25,394 --> 00:37:26,713
I think we have a deal.
594
00:37:27,394 --> 00:37:28,952
Yes. Bravo.
595
00:37:31,954 --> 00:37:35,345
How dare you make me apologize
to that vile, rabid yak.
596
00:37:35,595 --> 00:37:37,187
Talk about groveling!
597
00:37:37,395 --> 00:37:39,431
I wanted to make the lawsuit
go away, which it did.
598
00:37:39,635 --> 00:37:40,465
It wasn't worth...
599
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:43,189
- Yes, it was.
- To have to suck up to her?
600
00:37:43,395 --> 00:37:45,033
This was a stupid case.
601
00:37:45,275 --> 00:37:47,425
- Any half-assed lawyer...
- That would be me.
602
00:37:47,635 --> 00:37:49,785
...would've declared it
"Nelle" and void with one motion.
603
00:37:50,075 --> 00:37:51,873
Null and void. Nelle's your colleague.
604
00:37:52,076 --> 00:37:55,512
Who you're dating. It's inappropriate.
I suppose you're seeing her tonight?
605
00:37:55,716 --> 00:37:57,388
No, I'll be with her mother.
606
00:37:57,876 --> 00:38:00,026
This case is over. You can go now.
607
00:38:02,356 --> 00:38:03,345
I don't want to go.
608
00:38:04,116 --> 00:38:07,666
Ditch the father-and-son act. I
declare Nelle void, we'll get dinner.
609
00:38:07,877 --> 00:38:08,707
Done.
610
00:38:09,397 --> 00:38:11,706
It happened that fast.
611
00:38:12,797 --> 00:38:15,106
It wasn't hard ending things
with the boys.
612
00:38:15,317 --> 00:38:20,516
I didn't want to be Michael's daughter
or have Jonathan calling me "mom. "
613
00:38:20,877 --> 00:38:22,834
They were both relieved, actually...
614
00:38:23,078 --> 00:38:27,833
...though Michael went right to
the piano and sang "September Morn. "
615
00:38:28,158 --> 00:38:29,307
And me...
616
00:38:29,918 --> 00:38:32,352
...I finally felt that wonderful
feeling of terror.
617
00:38:32,558 --> 00:38:35,914
You know, that feeling you get
when you're up there without a net?
618
00:38:36,758 --> 00:38:37,952
Every minute, every hour
619
00:38:38,199 --> 00:38:40,235
I'm going to shower you
620
00:38:40,479 --> 00:38:42,913
With love and affection
621
00:38:43,159 --> 00:38:45,309
Look out, baby
I'm coming in your direction
622
00:38:45,519 --> 00:38:49,910
I'm gonna make you love me
623
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:52,030
Yes, I will
624
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,510
I can't believe he chose her over you.
625
00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:05,919
He's just more comfortable in his own
league. He can do better than that.
626
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,710
But she went out with him.
627
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,670
I don't appreciate you bringing
that candy-ass in this bar.
628
00:39:13,081 --> 00:39:17,120
It's bad enough Ally hires him. You
bringing him into this establishment...
629
00:39:17,321 --> 00:39:19,710
Lawyer likes to mark his own turf.
630
00:39:19,921 --> 00:39:22,754
- I've marked all over this room.
- I'll keep that in mind.
631
00:39:24,281 --> 00:39:27,513
Will you stop? I'm not kissing you
tonight. I have a canker.
632
00:39:28,002 --> 00:39:30,311
It isn't about that. Trust me.
633
00:39:33,602 --> 00:39:34,717
Look at them.
634
00:39:36,842 --> 00:39:38,514
I think they like each other.
635
00:39:43,923 --> 00:39:47,040
Baby, baby, baby, baby
636
00:39:47,283 --> 00:39:48,398
Yes, I will
637
00:39:49,563 --> 00:39:53,192
Why did you encourage me to date the
father and son if you were interested?
638
00:39:53,403 --> 00:39:57,157
Lt'd be unethical for a therapist
to hit on his patient.
639
00:39:57,363 --> 00:40:00,162
- And a lawyer hitting on his client?
- I can only be so ethical.
640
00:40:00,364 --> 00:40:01,433
- Larry?
- Hm.
641
00:40:02,604 --> 00:40:04,720
- Shut up.
- Done.
642
00:40:13,805 --> 00:40:18,117
Ally: The thing about walking alone is
it allows you to reflect on the day.
643
00:40:18,325 --> 00:40:21,317
And I couldn't wait
to reflect on this one.
644
00:40:21,525 --> 00:40:24,119
But I guess that'll have to wait.
645
00:41:18,489 --> 00:41:19,558
You stinker!
646
00:41:19,809 --> 00:41:20,798
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