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~~
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There, that ought to do it.
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You did that good, daddy.
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Thank you very much, Rich. Will you please watch
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when you track mud in the house from now on?
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Okay, daddy, I'll be careful.
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Good. We want to keep the room nice and neat.
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Is company coming?
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Yeah, as a matter of fact, they are.
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Will I like the company?
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I don't think you know them. Mr. and Mrs. Bermont.
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Are they my uncles?
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( LAUGHTER ) No, Rich.
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Mr. Bermont's the sponsor of the show daddy writes.
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So why does the house have to be so clean?
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Actually, Mr. Bermont's daddy's boss.
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He pays my salary.
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Won't Mr. Bermont pay your salary
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if the house is dirty?
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Of course he will, Rich.
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Hey, don't you have something to do?
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Can I bring my puzzle in here?
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I just told you, we want to keep the room neat.
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It's a neat puzzle, daddy.
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Oh, please, Rich. Will you do it in your room?
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Okay. And put some shoes on.
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Okay.
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Daddy? Huh?
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Do I have to meet Mr. Bermont?
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No, you'll probably be asleep my then.
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Good. He sounds too clean.
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All right, everything you ordered.
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Salami, olives, gherkins, herring,
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four kinds of cheese.
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Honey, you think this is enough?
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Rob, there are only the four of us.
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I have just spent $28.37
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for a bag full of potential leftovers.
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Don't worry about leftovers.
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I'll eat 'em for breakfast.
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I still think we overdid it.
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I want to be prepared. Who knows what sponsors like?
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Honey, are you sure this is enough stuff?
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Rob, if I'd known this was gonna make you so nervous,
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I'd never have arranged this dinner, sponsor or not.
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I'm not nervous. It's just that Mr. Bermont
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looks forward to these dinners with his employees.
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I want everything to be right.
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It'll be right, darling.
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After all, Mr. Bermont is just another man.
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He's a very important man, he's my sponsor.
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Well, he may be your sponsor,
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but he's still a human being. It'll go all right.
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Help me unload the rest of the groceries from the car.
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Okay.
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Surprise!
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Laura? Sarge?
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Surprise!
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Surprise! Oof!
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( MUTTERING )
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Surprise!
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No beer?
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Crazy house.
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( DOOR CLOSES )
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Surprise! Aah!
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Sol! Hi, Sarge!
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Sol Pomeroy, you--
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you son of a gun!
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You army buddy, you!
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Sarge!
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You old yard bird!
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What are you doing here?
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Driving through on my way to Connecticut.
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I says to myself, "sergeant and Laura
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would never forgive me if I didn't come over and say hello."
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We sure wouldn't have.
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Laura, look who's here.
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Sol! Laura!
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You old son of a gun!
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Sol Pomeroy! Hiya, doll-face.
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What are you doing here? The last letter we had, you were in Michigan.
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I bought myself a partnership
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in a garage in Stanford, Connecticut.
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Sports cars. Sports cars?
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Yeah, nobody drives weapons carriers anymore, sarge.
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Same old sol. Let's go into the living room
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and sit down and get comfortable.
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Oh, Sol, it's good to see you again.
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What a nice house. Thank you.
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How long can you stay?
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I don't have to be in Stanford till Monday,
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so I could stay for the weekend, if you can stand me that long.
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Sol, we'd love to have you.
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You sure? We'll put a rollaway bed in the den.
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I don't want to be no trouble.
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Sol, you won't be any trouble at all.
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We're glad to have you.
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Good. I'm glad you're glad.
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And this must be Ritchie!
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What do you say, Ritchie? Ha ha!
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He don't look so neat, daddy.
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What kind of manners is that for a kid?
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He thought you were somebody else.
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Rich, this is my old army buddy Sol.
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Put it there, kid.
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I got something for you. It's in my car.
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Can you get it? Ritchie...
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That's not the way we behave, is it?
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Yes, it is. Ritchie...
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Leave him alone. He's only a kid.
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I'll get it, it's in my suitcase.
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I got something for you, too.
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Can you get it?
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Daddy, that's not the way we behave.
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Go get it, Sol.
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Sarge, I knew you'd have a goofy family.
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Come on, Ritchie.
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Boy, sure is great seeing you guys.
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Come on, Ritchie.
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Right over there.
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Honey, we've got ourselves a little problem.
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What do you mean?
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What'll we do about the dinner party?
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I'll just set an extra place at the table.
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I don't think Sol and Mr. Bermont
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are exactly compatible dinner companions.
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We'll just have to make the best of it.
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Well, here it is.
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Let me help you.
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What in the wor-- it's my toolbox.
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I don't like to leave it in the car.
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Somebody might steal it, you know?
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Here we go, Ritchie.
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Well, what do you say, dear?
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I got one.
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Ritchie!
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Thank you.
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I got one. Ritchie!
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He's a natural kid. If he's got one, he's got one.
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And here's for you and Sarge.
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Oh, Sol, you shouldn't have.
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And I wrapped it myself.
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Isn't that nice?
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Well...
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Oh. ( GASP )
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well, it's--it's--
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Isn't that-- Sol, it's just lovely.
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We don't even have one, Sol.
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Hey! Look at that!
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It goes up and down.
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Honey, you know what that is?
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It's one of those, uh...
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It's a beer opener.
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Screw it onto your kitchen table,
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you'll open 400 beers an hour.
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400 beers.
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400. An hour.
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Comes in handy at a party.
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Oh, gee, Sol, thanks a lot.
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You can use it tonight, mommy.
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Tonight? What's, uh--
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We're having a little dinner party tonight.
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Really? I'm just in time, huh?
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Yeah, just in time.
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What kind of bash is it?
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Just a quiet little dinner party.
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Right, honey? Yeah, just a quiet little dinner party.
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Well, don't worry, I'll liven it up.
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Who's coming?
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My sponsor and his wife.
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Oh, your sponsor?
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Think he'll bring a couple of free samples?
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I don't know, Sol.
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We were just planning to eat and talk.
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Great. Two of my favorite hobbies--
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eating and talking.
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I'd better unpack
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before my suit gets too wrinkled.
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I like to look nice when I eat.
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Rich, come on. Give uncle Sol a hand.
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Ritchie, show uncle Sol where the den is.
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Okay.
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Let's go.
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Boy, sure is great seeing you guys.
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Come on, can't you breathe?
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What do you think?
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Well, what do you think?
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I think I'm a snob.
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A snob? Yeah, a snob.
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My old army buddy comes to visit me.
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Instead of inviting him to dinner, I'm trying to think
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of a way to get rid of him.
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You're not a snob, darling.
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You're just thinking like any good host thinks.
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After all, Mr. Bermont and Sol
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just aren't ideal dinner companions.
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Neither one of them will be very comfortable.
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Keep talking, honey. I'm still feeling guilty.
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Let me give you a hand with that.
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No, Sol, you don't have to do that.
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Look, I'm your buddy, ain't I?
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So, I think I ought to warn you,
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these Bermonts are kind of stuffy people.
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What's the matter, you scared I'll be bored?
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Yeah, Sol, that's it.
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You might have a very, very boring evening.
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Don't you worry about that.
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Things get boring, good old Sol will liven things up.
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I'll play the spoons, you know?
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Or I'll do one of my selections on the water glasses.
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I'll play, um... Brother Jacques.
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In french. ~ Brother Jacques
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~ Brother Jacques
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~ Dormez-vous, Dormez-vous? ~
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Sounds better with water in there.
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Sol, you don't have to do any entertaining tonight.
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Hand me those napkins, will you, Sol?
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Yeah, here. Thank you.
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Hey, Sarge, you put two forks by this setting.
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That's a salad fork.
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Salad fork? What'll they gonna think of next?
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A special fork for lettuce.
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What's this? What is this?
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It's a shrimp fork, Sol. Shrimp fork?
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Heh! I always eat shrimps with a spoon.
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You get all the sauce that way, and it don't drip all over you.
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Sol? Yeah, Sarge?
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Will you put that down a second?
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Sol, you and I know each other a long time now.
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We're good friends.
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Yeah, Sarge, we are.
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Well, don't you think that good friends
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ought to come right out and say the truth?
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Friends understand. Yeah, friends understand.
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Well, Sol, this dinner party
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is very important to me.
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Oh. You want I should wear a tie, right?
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No, Sol.
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No tie? Good, good.
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But this dinner party's been planned for a long time.
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Oh, yeah, it looks great.
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A dinner party, in order to go right,
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has to be, uh, planned. Yeah, yeah, sure.
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Well, this party was planned for four.
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Four? Hey, it's almost that now. I better go get--
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No, Sol, four people.
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Yeah?
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Well, if you have dinner here,
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that'll make five.
250
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Yeah, five.
251
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Well, that's uneven.
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Uneven?
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Yeah, there's nothing worse
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than an uneven dinner party.
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Oh, yeah, I hate that.
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Oh! Oh, Sarge, I get you.
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You don't have to hit Sol Pomeroy on the head.
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Ha ha! I got you, Sarge.
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Sol, you don't mind? Mind? It's better this way.
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Five people at a dinner party is terrible.
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Laura: Darling, would you come in here and help me for a minute?
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Be right there, honey.
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Sarge, can I use your phone a minute?
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Help yourself. And thanks for understanding.
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Go on, what's to understand?
266
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:38,847
Crazy guy.
267
00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,557
I understand.
268
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,476
( MUTTERING )
269
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:52,361
Hello, Herman? Hiya. Yeah, Sol Pomeroy.
270
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,905
Listen, I'm staying at a friend of mine's house in New Rochelle.
271
00:10:54,947 --> 00:10:57,533
Well, I'll be there Monday like we planned, Herman.
272
00:10:57,574 --> 00:11:00,869
Fine. Listen, Herman, is your sister there?
273
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,747
Will you put her on please? Okay.
274
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:06,917
( WHISTLING FRERE JACQUES )
275
00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:09,837
Hello? Arlene? Hiya.
276
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,130
Yeah, it's Sol.
277
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,675
Pomeroy.
278
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:17,052
Yeah, Arlene, listen, I'm trying to help a buddy of mine out.
279
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:20,097
He's got himself stuck with an uneven dinner party.
280
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:23,058
How would you like to come over tonight and make it even?
281
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:26,436
What? Yes, I-- I'd be your date, yeah.
282
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,397
What's the difference what you're gonna eat?
283
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,566
It's a free meal, Arlene.
284
00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:33,485
Look, you'll be helping me and my buddy out.
285
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,737
Will you please-- oh, you will?
286
00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:37,781
Swell, I'll pick you up in a couple of hours.
287
00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,408
Yeah. huh?
288
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:40,868
Oh, no, no, no. It's, uh--
289
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,744
it's fancy and all that, yeah.
290
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,997
Everybody's got three forks, yeah.
291
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,675
Oh, honey, the table looks beautiful.
292
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,719
And the dinner smells wonderful.
293
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,888
And you--you look more beautiful tonight
294
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,723
than you did... This morning.
295
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,017
Oh. thank you.
296
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,436
Honey, I'm a little bit worried about Sol.
297
00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,104
Do you think his feelings were hurt?
298
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,148
No, honey, he'll have more fun tonight with his date
299
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:13,442
than he would spending an evening with the Bermonts.
300
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,152
I hope so.
301
00:12:15,194 --> 00:12:17,029
I'm sure he will.
302
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,655
You're probably right.
303
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,532
He wouldn't enjoy himself here.
304
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,075
It's the best thing. Sure, it is.
305
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:24,077
It's absolutely the best thing.
306
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,916
You feel like a heel, too?
307
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,834
No, I feel like a rat.
308
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,544
You know why?
309
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,671
Because you're fond of Sol.
310
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,632
Yeah. And so am I.
311
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,926
( DOORBELL RINGS ) That's the Bermonts.
312
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,928
We'll have to worry about Sol later.
313
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:44,640
( OVERLAPPING CHATTER )
314
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,600
Come on in. This is Mrs. Bermont.
315
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,685
Mrs. Petrie.
316
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:50,812
Mrs. Bermont, this is my wife Laura.
317
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,814
We just met. Oh.
318
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,650
Darling, will you take Mrs. Bermont's stole?
319
00:12:54,650 --> 00:12:56,109
Certainly. Thank you.
320
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,904
Won't you come in? Thank you very much.
321
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:01,031
I hope you didn't have any trouble finding the house.
322
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:04,535
Oh, no, Mr. Bermont never has any trouble finding anything.
323
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,578
He drove right straight to your door.
324
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,206
29 minutes and 49 seconds.
325
00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:11,834
How was the drive up? Not too much traffic, I hope.
326
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,710
Oh, it was a wonderful drive.
327
00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:17,005
It's good to have the open road under your wheels,
328
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:20,551
to feel the strong pull of a really good automobile.
329
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,010
You like to drive?
330
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:25,055
It's my only vice. Ha ha ha!
331
00:13:25,097 --> 00:13:27,641
( LAUGHING )
332
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,233
How about an hors d'oeuvre?
333
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:38,026
Yes, there's celery hearts there,
334
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,571
and anchovies, liver pate.
335
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,155
We never touch hors d'oeuvres.
336
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,032
Four kinds of cheese.
337
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,827
No, Martha and I
338
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,537
never eat before a meal.
339
00:13:48,579 --> 00:13:50,873
Except for breakfast. What?
340
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,125
Just a family joke. Oh.
341
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,626
How about a drink?
342
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,044
Martha and I don't drink.
343
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:59,673
I always say that...
344
00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:02,217
Alcohol is too rich for my carburetor.
345
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:05,512
( LAUGHTER )
346
00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,598
Well, there's nothing funny about that.
347
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:10,225
No. That's not funny.
348
00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,227
Pithy, though.
349
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,521
Yes, it is. It's pithy.
350
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,065
By the way, what did you think
351
00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,317
of last week's show?
352
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,235
I thought last week's show
353
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:21,695
was very funny.
354
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:22,905
Boy, so did I.
355
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,323
If you like slapstick humor.
356
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,116
Well, you can overdo it.
357
00:14:26,158 --> 00:14:28,285
I, of course, like slapstick humor. I love it.
358
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:31,079
But not on my show. No, not on our particular show.
359
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,999
Not every week. I like it once in a while.
360
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,792
That's me. I like it once in a while.
361
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,794
But generally you both enjoyed the show?
362
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:40,255
Yes, I did. No, I didn't.
363
00:14:43,175 --> 00:14:45,093
Uh, are you sure you wouldn't care for an hors d'oeuvre?
364
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:47,304
Or a drink? We don't drink.
365
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:49,932
Oh. heh heh. Too rich for your carburetor.
366
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:51,850
( DOORBELL RINGS )
367
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,936
I wonder who that could be.
368
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,687
I don't know.
369
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,357
Oh. ha ha ha!
370
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,984
I'll go see who that could be.
371
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,820
Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.
372
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,948
Hi, Sarge, I'm here! Hope I'm not late.
373
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,950
Sol! Yeah, see?
374
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,660
You were worried about an uneven dinner party?
375
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:10,994
Don't worry no more.
376
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,788
This is Arlene.
377
00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:16,208
Hiya, folks.
378
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:18,794
And she evens it up. Say hello. Hiya, folks.
379
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:21,004
And you must be Sarge's sponsor.
380
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:23,841
Hiya. I'm Sol Pomeroy, an old army pal.
381
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,717
And this is Arlene, my friend Herman's sister. Say hello.
382
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:26,969
Glad to meet you.
383
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,846
How do you do?
384
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,055
You, too, honey.
385
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:33,308
How do you do, Miss Herman?
386
00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:35,811
No, no, that's Herman's sister.
387
00:15:35,811 --> 00:15:37,145
Oh, Laura, this is Arlene,
388
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,814
my friend Herman's sister.
389
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,691
I brought her to even up the party.
390
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:42,860
So now we're three even couples, huh?
391
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,778
Right. Nice to meet you.
392
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:46,947
Sol's told me so much about you.
393
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,323
Let's sit down. You want to sit down?
394
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:49,908
Let me take that.
395
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,827
Oh, yeah.
396
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:53,745
Nice dress.
397
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,414
Come on, we'll sit inside there.
398
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,332
Go in there, and I'll--yeah.
399
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,334
Oh, no. I sit next to her, she's my date.
400
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,712
You sit here. I sit there.
401
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:04,006
( INDISTINCT CHATTER )
402
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,302
There's no room.
403
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,095
Honey, you want to move over a little bit?
404
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:11,847
Give us a little room.
405
00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:13,849
Yeah, now we can have a little--
406
00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:16,393
a little elbow room and talk a little bit.
407
00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:19,313
What's your first name, honey? Henry!
408
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:22,399
Henry? They gave you a fella's name?
409
00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:24,276
Henry is my name.
410
00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,695
You're both named Henry? That's crazy.
411
00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:28,447
( CLEARS THROAT ) Cute, though.
412
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,741
Sol, would you care for some hors d'oeuvres?
413
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,285
Oh, yeah. Oh, hey, caviar!
414
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,746
I love them little fish eggs.
415
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,915
Mr. Bermont, would you care for some?
416
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:39,374
No, thank you.
417
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:43,378
Is that your car parked out front?
418
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,047
Which car do you mean?
419
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,965
Little foreign job. Looks like a...
420
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,259
SR160 Mark III.
421
00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:50,677
Yes, it is.
422
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,679
Who stuck you with that?
423
00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:55,349
Stuck me?!
424
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,850
Why don't I put on, uh,
425
00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:58,227
some nice conversation music?
426
00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,811
Music! No, no.
427
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,104
Henry doesn't like music
428
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:02,397
under conversation.
429
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,483
What do you mean, who stuck me?
430
00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:07,819
Young man, the SR160 is the finest automobile
431
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,112
on the road today?
432
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,156
Ha ha! It's a dog.
433
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:15,035
The SR160 is no dog.
434
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,246
Okay, it's a lemon, then. Henry, don't you know?
435
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:19,414
It stalls every time you stop for a light, right?
436
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,792
Well, naturally.
437
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:24,086
You can't expect a razor-sharp engine like that
438
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:25,462
not to act up in traffic.
439
00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:27,172
Ha ha ha ha! They told you that
440
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,258
when they sold it to you, right?
441
00:17:29,299 --> 00:17:31,385
You're not the first sucker that guy's roped.
442
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:34,805
Hey! You haven't met our little boy Ritchie.
443
00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:37,266
We'd love to. He's probably asleep.
444
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:39,184
Yeah. I'll get him.
445
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,314
What did you mean when you called me a sucker?
446
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,149
There's gotta be suckers, Henry.
447
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,068
That's who buys the SR160s.
448
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,988
I beg your pardon? Why, what'd you do?
449
00:17:53,282 --> 00:17:55,284
I, sir, did not do anything.
450
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,161
Then what are you begging my pardon for?
451
00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,871
I thought you were sitting on my coat or something.
452
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:01,498
Here he is. Isn't he cute?
453
00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:08,839
Oh, he's darling.
454
00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:11,341
But he's asleep. Yeah.
455
00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:14,136
What did you mean when you called me a sucker?
456
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:16,555
There's some movies of him. He's awake in them.
457
00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:19,850
Sol, can I have some caviar, please?
458
00:18:19,892 --> 00:18:21,435
Oh, yeah, here.
459
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:23,061
Don't spill any on your dress,
460
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,980
or you'll smell fishy all night.
461
00:18:25,022 --> 00:18:26,440
You want one, Henry?
462
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,192
No, thank you.
463
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,864
What's the matter? You on a diet or something?
464
00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:35,949
Sol!
465
00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:39,328
What's the matter? Oh, it's not polite to mention lady's weight.
466
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,538
Uh, no offense, Henry.
467
00:18:41,580 --> 00:18:43,832
No, no offense.
468
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:46,043
You ain't fat, Henry, no.
469
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:48,837
She ain't fat. In fact, she's built pretty good.
470
00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:51,215
Matter of fact, so is your SR160.
471
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,925
What did you mean--
472
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,510
Dinner is served!
473
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,136
Isn't that what you were gonna say, honey?
474
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:58,388
Yes, I was! Dinner is served.
475
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,140
What are you standing up for, Henry?
476
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,059
Oh, the lady-- stand up.
477
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:03,519
If you'll all just sit down at the table,
478
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,020
we'll bring in the roast.
479
00:19:05,062 --> 00:19:06,480
All right? All right.
480
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:07,981
We'll just be a second. Take your time.
481
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,274
We'll entertain the two Henrys.
482
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:13,111
Sol: Well, eat up, folks...
483
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:15,322
Honey, what are we gonna do?
484
00:19:15,364 --> 00:19:17,199
What can we do? It's just one of those life situations
485
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:18,909
that comes along once in a while.
486
00:19:18,951 --> 00:19:20,994
Life situations? I've got to figure out
487
00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,455
a way to stretch dinner for four six ways.
488
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,958
Honey, grab two of those glasses, please.
489
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,376
Okay.
490
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,088
All right, start stretching.
491
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,298
Honey, have you got any more lettuce?
492
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,468
No, I don't. We'll have to do it with sauce.
493
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:38,095
Rob, maybe you ought to go out there and--
494
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:40,013
And what? Be embarrassed?
495
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,057
The only thing we can do now is weather the storm.
496
00:19:42,099 --> 00:19:44,852
I'll tell you, at least 50% of the guests out there
497
00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:47,187
are having a wonderful time.
498
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,565
Sol and Arlene seem to be enjoying themselves.
499
00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:52,943
You aren't kidding. It's not too big a disaster, really.
500
00:19:52,985 --> 00:19:54,611
Rob! Don't-- oh, sorry!
501
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:56,488
How could you do that?
502
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:58,156
I forgot. I didn't mark it.
503
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:00,284
I'll eat that one. Put sauce on it.
504
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,619
Honey!
505
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,997
Actually, the worst thing that can happen
506
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,416
is that my sponsor and his wife will learn something
507
00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:10,335
about people who aren't exactly in their social sphere.
508
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,421
By gosh, Sol's an unpolished gem.
509
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:14,298
He may not sound like it,
510
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:16,341
but under that rough exterior is a real gentleman.
511
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:20,387
( GUESTS ARGUING )
512
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,181
Sol: Step outside with me,
513
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,057
we'll see who's just what!
514
00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:26,143
I have a feeling underneath that rough exterior
515
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:28,187
lies a rough interior.
516
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,689
Mr. Bermont: very well, let's step out!
517
00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:32,941
Rob, I think you'd better step outside, too.
518
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:36,028
Are you coming? No, he's your friend and your sponsor.
519
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:38,238
I'll stay here and roll bandages.
520
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,573
Let's step outside.
521
00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:41,366
Dinner's almost ready, gang.
522
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,993
Just because you're a sponsor and you're rich
523
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,244
don't mean you know more than me.
524
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,163
Sol, Mr. Bermont's my guest.
525
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:48,415
So what am I, your relative?
526
00:20:48,457 --> 00:20:51,126
It is all right, Petrie. You don't have to protect me.
527
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:53,086
I can hold my own with this gentleman.
528
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:54,338
Who are you calling a gentleman?
529
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,964
Try this awful-smelling cheese.
530
00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:57,466
It's delicious.
531
00:20:57,466 --> 00:21:00,093
Are we going outside or aren't we?
532
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,720
Yeah.
533
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:03,263
Henry, why are you so stubborn?
534
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:05,224
Why must you always step outside?
535
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:07,643
Keep out of this, my dear. It does not concern you.
536
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,478
This man has challenged me!
537
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,647
And you accepted. So come on.
538
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,565
Wait, there must be a better way to settle the argument.
539
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:15,734
There is no other way to settle it. Shall we?
540
00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:17,486
After you, MR. Big Shot. Sol!
541
00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:20,072
Petrie! You keep out of this!
542
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:22,616
Can't back out now, Sarge.
543
00:21:22,658 --> 00:21:24,409
Are they really gonna fight?
544
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,662
They're making noises like they're gonna fight.
545
00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:29,164
No, no, they won't fight.
546
00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:30,666
Try one of these crazy green things. They look awful,
547
00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,501
but they taste delicious. No.
548
00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:34,461
Rob, do something.
549
00:21:34,503 --> 00:21:36,547
Uh...
550
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:38,465
Mommy! Mommy!
551
00:21:38,507 --> 00:21:39,967
Ritchie, what are you doing out of bed?
552
00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:42,302
You're supposed to be asleep.
553
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:46,014
The television's on too loud!
554
00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:48,141
I'll turn it down, dear.
555
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:51,144
What program are you watching?
556
00:21:51,186 --> 00:21:54,064
( ARGUING AND CLATTER )
557
00:21:54,106 --> 00:21:55,983
It's an adult western.
558
00:21:56,024 --> 00:21:57,693
Where's the television?
559
00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:00,028
It's outside! Now go to bed!
560
00:22:01,572 --> 00:22:03,282
Men are so silly, aren't they?
561
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:05,033
They're just like children.
562
00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:07,161
Does your Henry get into fights like this often?
563
00:22:07,161 --> 00:22:08,662
Often enough.
564
00:22:08,704 --> 00:22:10,372
Who do you think will win? I don't know.
565
00:22:10,414 --> 00:22:13,292
I don't care.
566
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,751
You don't care?
567
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:18,338
After 35 years of "let's step outside",
568
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:21,508
who cares?
569
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:24,052
( SHOUTING CONTINUES )
570
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:26,513
They're out there fighting!
571
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:29,141
Mr. Bermont, are you all right?
572
00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:31,101
Certainly not. I'm hurt.
573
00:22:31,143 --> 00:22:34,479
Ritchie: Mommy! The television's on too loud!
574
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:36,481
All right, dear, I'll turn it down.
575
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:38,025
Honey, get some ice for Mr. Bermont.
576
00:22:38,066 --> 00:22:39,568
Can I help you?
577
00:22:39,610 --> 00:22:41,737
Out of my way, let me alone!
578
00:22:41,737 --> 00:22:43,405
What did you do, Henry?
579
00:22:43,447 --> 00:22:45,532
Hit your head on the hood again?
580
00:22:45,574 --> 00:22:47,326
Yes, I did.
581
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,036
Oh, Mr. Bermont, here you are.
582
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,537
What happened?
583
00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:52,372
I'll tell you what happened.
584
00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:54,124
I was right,
585
00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:55,501
and your husband's starter was ruined.
586
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:57,127
Tell her, Henry, come on.
587
00:22:57,169 --> 00:22:58,795
Yes, it's true.
588
00:22:58,837 --> 00:23:01,173
But I never would've believed it.
589
00:23:01,215 --> 00:23:03,550
All the master mechanics at the plant said that nothing could be done.
590
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:06,470
What couldn't be done? Rob, why did you let them fight?
591
00:23:06,512 --> 00:23:08,514
They weren't fighting. They were arguing
592
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:10,766
about superchargers and carburetors.
593
00:23:10,807 --> 00:23:12,559
Well, let's call it a difference of opinion.
594
00:23:12,601 --> 00:23:14,728
Let's call it I was right and you was wrong.
595
00:23:14,770 --> 00:23:16,730
And let's also admit that nobody
596
00:23:16,772 --> 00:23:18,482
ever adjusted your carburetor
597
00:23:18,524 --> 00:23:20,192
and made a needlepoint adjustment
598
00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,277
on your supercharger like I just did.
599
00:23:22,319 --> 00:23:24,154
Will you admit that, or will you get stubborn again?
600
00:23:24,196 --> 00:23:25,781
All right, I will admit it.
601
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:27,783
And I'll also admit that the motor
602
00:23:27,783 --> 00:23:29,493
has never run better.
603
00:23:29,535 --> 00:23:31,662
This man is an amazing mechanic.
604
00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:33,664
Told you that 100 times, Henry.
605
00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:37,292
Well, I'm hungry. How's dinner coming?
606
00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:40,087
Ready when you are. Well, hank, let's wash up.
607
00:23:40,128 --> 00:23:41,755
Or are you gonna eat with that dirty hand?
608
00:23:41,797 --> 00:23:44,424
After you, Sol. Here's a little present for you.
609
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:46,176
Thank you.
610
00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:55,185
( PIANO PLAYING )
611
00:23:55,227 --> 00:23:59,314
You know something, Rob? You're a very lucky man. Why?
612
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:01,692
'cause you don't have to eat caviar for breakfast.
613
00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:03,610
Sol and Arlene finished it.
614
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:07,447
~ You wonderful you
615
00:24:07,489 --> 00:24:09,283
~ I'm glad I found you
616
00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:11,910
Rob, we did it 12 times for the Bermonts.
617
00:24:11,952 --> 00:24:13,537
Oh, honey, this one's for me.
618
00:24:13,579 --> 00:24:15,122
One more time? Come on. All right.
619
00:24:15,164 --> 00:24:17,332
~ Remember
620
00:24:17,374 --> 00:24:18,876
~ Finders keepers
621
00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:20,878
~ Losers weepers
622
00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:24,214
~ And because that's true
623
00:24:24,256 --> 00:24:27,259
~ You're mine now
624
00:24:27,301 --> 00:24:32,181
~ You wonderful you
625
00:24:32,222 --> 00:24:33,557
Why did you mess up my hair?
626
00:24:33,599 --> 00:24:35,309
I like to.
627
00:24:37,311 --> 00:24:39,146
~~44526
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