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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show."
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( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )
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Richie, what's this?
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A dirt bomb.
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A dirt bomb?
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Looks like your dirt bomb exploded in your pocket.
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You need this?
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Yes, it's my lucky bottle cap.
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Richie, why didn't you show me this note
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from your teacher?
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Your daddy's been named "Father Of The Week" at school.
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Yeah.
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Well, isn't that wonderful?
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The 6th? That's tomorrow.
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Oh, honey, why didn't you tell us
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daddy had to be in school tomorrow?
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I forgot.
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I'd better call him.
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I just hope he can make it on such short notice.
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Can I have my rock?
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It's in the back pocket.
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What rock, Rich?
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A rock that doesn't sink.
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Here's your rock that doesn't sink, dear.
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That's called a cork.
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I know.
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Ma? Yes, honey?
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Will daddy be too busy to come to school tomorrow?
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Well, let's hope not.
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Hello, Rob? Guess what?
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You've been named "Father Of The Week"
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in Richie's class at school.
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Hey, how about that?
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Well, gang, it looks like "The Alan Brady Show"
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is winning all the big awards this year.
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I have just been elected the " Father Of The Week."
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Ooh, and I forgot to vote.
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Father Of The Week?
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How do you get to be that?
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First, you start off by having a baby.
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Hey, honey? What do I get,
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my portrait done in finger paints?
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Well, I'll tell you all about it
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when you get home, dear.
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All you have to do is be there at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon.
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Tomorrow afternoon!
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Honey, couldn't you have told me about it sooner?
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We have a meeting tomorrow afternoon.
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SALLY: Hey, Rob? Hold it, honey.
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Why can't we have tomorrow's meeting today?
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Good idea.
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We can't, we're having yesterday's meeting today.
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Rob, why can't we have tomorrow's meeting yesterday
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and yesterday's meeting day after tomorrow?
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That's possible.
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Look, honey-- wait a minute, we can't.
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Hold it, honey. Why?
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'cause I get my hair cut on Friday.
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Why can't you get your hair cut on Thursday?
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I grow it on Thursday.
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Yeah, I forgot.
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Well, gang, we'll work it out some way.
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Honey, we're trying to rearrange things.
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Well, I hope you can.
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Rich would die if you couldn't be there.
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Rob, if you could see him now, he's almost in tears.
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Oh my.
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Honey, look, tell him we'll arrange it somehow,
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even if I have to cut buddy's hair personally.
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Oh no, you don't.
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Nobody cuts my hair but my gardener.
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Gardener?
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No wonder his head looks like crab grass.
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Hey, that's good.
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Honey, don't worry, I'll be there.
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Oh, that's wonderful.
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You've just made a little boy very happy.
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See you tonight, honey.
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All right, bye. Bye.
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Hey, how about that?
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Father Of The Week.
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Well, don't look so sad, daddy's gonna be there.
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I don't want daddy to come.
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What did you say, Rich?
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I don't want daddy to come to school tomorrow.
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You don't want daddy to be there?
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No.
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Richie, why?
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Because the father's got to tell about his work
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and what'll daddy tell?
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Well, honey, daddy will tell about writing comedy
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for television.
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But he can't show 'em nothing.
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Well, he could show something.
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Could he show how he types?
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Yes, he could show that.
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That's nothing to show.
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Well, how about Freddie's father.
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He's a dentist, what did he show?
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He showed some fake teeth from a man without them
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and an X-ray of a big cuspidor.
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Honey, not cuspidor.
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It's bicuspid.
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What about Andy's father?
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He showed some corn on a big plaster foot.
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Well, Richie, I can assure you
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that your father will not just sit there and type.
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He'll do something.
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He could tell jokes or he could make funny faces.
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The teacher will say it's silly.
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No, she won't.
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Yes, she will.
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I don't want daddy to be there.
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Now, Richie, you know you don't mean that.
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Yes, I do.
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Richie, your daddy is coming to class tomorrow
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and he is gonna make a wonderful Father Of The Week.
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I won't be there.
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Why won't you be there?
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'cause I'm gonna have an upset stomach.
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Here he is, the Father Of The Week.
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Give me a kiss.
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You're silly.
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Yeah, he is.
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Hey, don't I get "hello"?
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Hello.
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What's the matter with Richie?
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That's the first time in his life he never came up
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and said, "Hey, didn't you bring me something?"
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Well, Richie has a little problem.
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Oh, a problem at his age.
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What did he do, lose his lucky rock?
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No, it's a little more serious than that.
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Hey, your eyebrows are in the frown position.
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Is it that serious?
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Yes, I'd say so.
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Okay, what's the problem?
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Well, it's this father of the week thing.
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Richie's upset about it.
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Well, didn't you tell him I'd be there?
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Hm-mm, that's why he's upset.
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You mean to tell me he's upset because I'm going?
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Shocked?
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Well, yeah.
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Why wouldn't he want me there?
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I'm not bad looking as fathers go.
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No, darling, it's not what you look like.
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It's what you do for a living.
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You mean to tell me he's ashamed
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of what I do for a living?
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Well, he's just afraid
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he's gonna be embarrassed about it
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when you tell the children what you do.
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When I tell the--
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I have to tell the children
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what I do for a living?
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Is that what the Father Of The Week does?
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Yes.
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What did you think you'd do?
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Well, I don't know.
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I thought maybe they'd give me an award
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or make me honorary window-pull monitor or something.
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I have to make a speech, huh?
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Well, just for 30 minutes.
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30 minutes?
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What do you talk to first graders about
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for a half an hour?
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You'll think of something, dear.
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The main problem, as I see it,
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is to get Richie to want you to go.
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He's really afraid I'll embarrass him, huh?
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He threatens to have an upset stomach if you go.
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I just don't understand that.
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Well, dear, he's just afraid that you'll be laughed at
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because all you can do is type.
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Well, I could tell jokes or make funny faces.
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And look silly?
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That's his biggest fear.
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Well, honey, what am I gonna do?
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I'm a comedy writer, I can't lie to 'em,
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tell 'em I'm a brain surgeon
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or a Marshall at Dodge City or something.
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No, you can't.
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I could just not show up.
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That would be worse.
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Yeah, that'd be admitting that Rich was right
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in being ashamed of me.
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I could talk to Richie.
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What would you say?
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I don't know, I'd try to convince him
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that I'm a great guy and he ought to be proud of me.
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Rich?
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Um, do you want me around?
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No, I got you convinced I'm a great guy.
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True.
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Well, I'll be here stirring things if you need me.
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Yeah, okay. Good luck.
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Thanks.
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Hey, Richie? Will you come here.
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Hi, pal.
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Come on over and sit down a minute.
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I want to talk to you.
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I said, "Hi, pal."
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Hi.
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How are you?
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Okay.
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Did you have a nice day at school?
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Okay.
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Good.
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Well, tomorrow's a big day, huh?
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Father Of The Week.
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You know, I went to an awful lot of trouble,
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rearranging a lot of meetings so I could be there tomorrow.
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It wasn't easy but I said, no, sir,
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I got to be at school for my son, for Rich.
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Gonna be Father Of The Week.
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That's a pretty big honor, isn't it, Rich,
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Father Of The Week?
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No, all the fathers were it already.
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I see. I'm the last father to be it, huh?
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Uh-huh. next week, they start mothers.
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Oh, I see.
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Rich, mama says that you don't want me to come.
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Now if you don't want me to come, I won't come.
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You mean that, daddy?
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Well, no.
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I didn't exactly mean it that way, Rich.
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I meant--
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why don't you want me to come, Rich?
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Is it because you're afraid I'll make a bad talk?
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Uh-huh.
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Well, Rich, daddy could talk about writing.
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What are you going to say?
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I'll say, "Mrs. Gibbon and members of the first grade,
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comedy writing, if you--
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if a young person wants to be a comedy writer--
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Well, say, if a person sits down at the typewriter
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and he wanted to--
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in writing a joke or a sketch or something,
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there's a construction that you--"
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( COUGHING )
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Is that the speech, daddy?
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Well, that's--
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I haven't rehearsed it yet, Rich.
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But that's gonna be the general theme.
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Rich, listen to me.
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There is no reason in the world
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why you shouldn't be proud of your daddy.
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Now your daddy's a very good television writer
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and very well thought of.
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And I might add, very well known in the television industry.
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Now I have been elected the Father Of The Week
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and I will come to your class tomorrow
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and accept that honor.
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And I forbid you to have an upset stomach.
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You heard that?
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Hm-mm.
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I don't think I convinced him to be proud of me.
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I don't think you did.
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Did you hear my speech to the class?
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Oh, yes.
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Shook your faith a little too, didn't it?
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A little, I'd work on that speech
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if I were you, darling.
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I don't have to. I am not going.
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Well, why should I?
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He doesn't want me there.
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And I am sure not crazy about lecturing
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00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,898
to a bunch of six-year-olds.
271
00:10:23,931 --> 00:10:25,066
I'll just forget about the whole thing
272
00:10:25,099 --> 00:10:27,535
and everybody will he happier, right?
273
00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:28,736
Right.
274
00:10:28,769 --> 00:10:30,638
Nobody likes to go someplace where they are not welcome.
275
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,006
He's made it perfectly clear to me
276
00:10:32,039 --> 00:10:34,041
that he doesn't want me there, that he's ashamed of me.
277
00:10:34,075 --> 00:10:35,576
You can't force somebody to be proud of you
278
00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,378
if they're ashamed of you, can you?
279
00:10:37,411 --> 00:10:38,579
No, you can't.
280
00:10:38,613 --> 00:10:40,615
Ha, ha, you bet your life you can't.
281
00:10:40,648 --> 00:10:42,049
I'm not gonna put myself in a position
282
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:43,684
of begging to be admired.
283
00:10:43,718 --> 00:10:46,387
Now I didn't ask to be elected the Father Of The Week.
284
00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:47,655
I don't see why I have to accept it.
285
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,423
It's not like you're being drafted
286
00:10:49,457 --> 00:10:51,425
as the president of the United States or something.
287
00:10:51,459 --> 00:10:52,460
Let 'em get some other father,
288
00:10:52,493 --> 00:10:55,062
some father whose kid happens to be proud of him.
289
00:10:55,096 --> 00:10:57,498
I've lived this long without being the Father Of The Week
290
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:58,633
and I'm doing fine.
291
00:10:58,666 --> 00:11:01,636
Just fine.
292
00:11:01,669 --> 00:11:03,504
I'm not going.
293
00:11:05,439 --> 00:11:07,642
I'm not. I'm not going.
294
00:11:11,946 --> 00:11:12,780
How's this?
295
00:11:12,813 --> 00:11:17,918
"Mrs. Gibbon and members of the first--"
296
00:11:17,952 --> 00:11:19,587
I'm not going.
297
00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:25,559
I'm not going!
298
00:11:27,862 --> 00:11:29,130
All right, now, children.
299
00:11:29,163 --> 00:11:31,899
Quiet, quiet, let's come to order.
300
00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:34,735
Now then, Mr. Petrie, do sit down.
301
00:11:34,769 --> 00:11:36,504
Make yourself comfortable. Oh, thank you.
302
00:11:43,177 --> 00:11:44,745
Now then, class.
303
00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:48,082
We are about to meet Richie Petrie's daddy,
304
00:11:48,115 --> 00:11:51,786
who is our present Father Of The Week.
305
00:11:51,819 --> 00:11:54,889
And I want you children to pay strict attention
306
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,824
to what Mr. Petrie has to say
307
00:11:56,857 --> 00:11:58,993
because he is going to tell us
308
00:11:59,026 --> 00:12:02,496
all about how to write comedy shows
309
00:12:02,530 --> 00:12:05,866
and how to make people laugh.
310
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:06,701
Mr. Petrie?
311
00:12:06,734 --> 00:12:12,039
Oh, thank you very much, Mrs. Gibbon.
312
00:12:12,073 --> 00:12:13,874
Well, first of all,
313
00:12:13,908 --> 00:12:18,446
let me thank you for electing me the Father Of The Week.
314
00:12:19,513 --> 00:12:20,548
Uh, yes?
315
00:12:20,581 --> 00:12:22,083
We didn't elect you.
316
00:12:24,051 --> 00:12:25,152
Well, that was true.
317
00:12:25,186 --> 00:12:28,089
That's true, Floyd, that really is.
318
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:32,827
You see, the children volunteer their daddies.
319
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,528
Did Richie volunteer me?
320
00:12:34,562 --> 00:12:38,032
Well, no.
321
00:12:38,065 --> 00:12:40,434
We sort of asked him to
322
00:12:40,468 --> 00:12:44,572
since all the other daddies had already been here.
323
00:12:44,605 --> 00:12:46,974
My daddy's been here twice.
324
00:12:47,007 --> 00:12:48,142
Yes, yes, that's right.
325
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:50,511
His daddy has been here twice.
326
00:12:50,544 --> 00:12:54,181
You see, Floyd's daddy is a jet airline pilot.
327
00:12:54,215 --> 00:12:57,918
Oh my, he just fascinated the children.
328
00:12:57,952 --> 00:13:00,888
I do hope you'll be as interesting as Captain Harper.
329
00:13:02,923 --> 00:13:05,826
Of course, I'm sure you will be.
330
00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:06,961
I hope so.
331
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,764
Now, I'll just get my chair and I'll sit down here.
332
00:13:09,797 --> 00:13:11,132
Let me help you there, Mrs. Gibbon.
333
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,168
Oh, well, thank you.
334
00:13:14,201 --> 00:13:16,036
Thank you very much.
335
00:13:16,070 --> 00:13:18,506
Now then, all right.
336
00:13:18,539 --> 00:13:20,508
Now you step right up on the platform
337
00:13:20,541 --> 00:13:23,177
and we'll sit and listen to what you have to say.
338
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:26,814
Well, as I said, I'm very happy to be here.
339
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,516
As you all know,
340
00:13:28,549 --> 00:13:32,953
I am a comedy writer on "The Alan Brady Show."
341
00:13:32,987 --> 00:13:36,090
How many of you have seen "The Alan Brady Show"?
342
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:45,766
They're allowed to raise their hands, aren't they?
343
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,568
Yes, of course, they are but, you see,
344
00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:50,271
the show is on rather late for them.
345
00:13:50,304 --> 00:13:52,807
Oh, that's right.
346
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,010
You-- no one here has seen "The Alan Brady Show."
347
00:13:56,043 --> 00:14:00,514
Oh, Richie has seen the show, haven't you, Richie?
348
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,916
Richie?
349
00:14:01,949 --> 00:14:03,584
Yes, I've seen it.
350
00:14:03,617 --> 00:14:04,919
Yes.
351
00:14:04,952 --> 00:14:07,188
Yes, he has seen it.
352
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,190
All right now, Mr. Petrie.
353
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:13,961
You tell us all about what a comedy writer does.
354
00:14:13,994 --> 00:14:16,063
Yeah. Well, first of all,
355
00:14:16,096 --> 00:14:21,168
a comedy writer writes jokes and writes sketches.
356
00:14:21,202 --> 00:14:22,303
What's a sketch?
357
00:14:22,336 --> 00:14:25,039
What's a sketch? Well, a sketch is--
358
00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,308
( CLEARING THROAT ) kind of like a skit.
359
00:14:27,341 --> 00:14:31,111
It's-- actually it's a series of comedic ideas
360
00:14:31,145 --> 00:14:34,815
with an underlying theme in it.
361
00:14:39,954 --> 00:14:42,189
You don't understand that, I don't think.
362
00:14:42,223 --> 00:14:43,591
They don't understand that?
363
00:14:48,128 --> 00:14:51,198
Well, you see, a comedy writer writes jokes
364
00:14:51,232 --> 00:14:54,602
and things that make people laugh.
365
00:14:54,635 --> 00:14:56,070
Why?
366
00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:56,937
Why, well,
367
00:14:56,971 --> 00:15:01,008
because, well, people like to laugh.
368
00:15:01,041 --> 00:15:02,309
( LAUGHING )
369
00:15:02,343 --> 00:15:03,310
Why?
370
00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:04,378
Why?
371
00:15:04,411 --> 00:15:08,282
Well, you see, laughing makes everybody feel good
372
00:15:08,315 --> 00:15:11,151
because-- you'll see, I feel good when I laugh too.
373
00:15:11,185 --> 00:15:12,987
( LAUGHING )
374
00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:19,793
Can you, uh, you do laugh, don't you?
375
00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:21,896
Why, yes, of course, they do.
376
00:15:21,929 --> 00:15:23,831
Why, when Captain Harper was here,
377
00:15:23,864 --> 00:15:25,633
he had them in stitches.
378
00:15:27,234 --> 00:15:31,805
He did tell some of the funniest stories.
379
00:15:31,839 --> 00:15:33,574
( LAUGHING ) We had him here twice.
380
00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:36,210
He was so amusing.
381
00:15:36,243 --> 00:15:39,046
I wish I could have been here.
382
00:15:44,018 --> 00:15:47,922
Well, you see, a comedy writer writes those funny stories
383
00:15:47,955 --> 00:15:50,958
that people like Captain Harper steal-- uh, tell.
384
00:15:53,127 --> 00:15:54,962
Can you write one now?
385
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:55,996
Could I what?
386
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,331
Can you write one now?
387
00:15:57,364 --> 00:15:59,233
Well, see, there's many different things
388
00:15:59,266 --> 00:16:00,901
that a comedy writer does.
389
00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:05,039
( LAUGHING )
390
00:16:05,072 --> 00:16:06,907
Good. You laughed then.
391
00:16:06,941 --> 00:16:08,208
Did you know why you laughed?
392
00:16:08,242 --> 00:16:09,343
Because that was unexpected.
393
00:16:09,376 --> 00:16:10,945
You didn't expect me to do that.
394
00:16:10,978 --> 00:16:11,812
Did you see that?
395
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,213
Unexpected means that something happens
396
00:16:13,247 --> 00:16:15,049
that you didn't think would happen
397
00:16:15,082 --> 00:16:17,351
and it's kind of like a surprise, really.
398
00:16:17,384 --> 00:16:19,320
And that makes you laugh.
399
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:22,089
For instance, if Mrs. Gibbon had said,
400
00:16:22,122 --> 00:16:24,258
"Children, we're gonna have some addition now,"
401
00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:29,229
and she said, "first of all, 1 and 1 are 12."
402
00:16:29,263 --> 00:16:31,198
( LAUGHING )
403
00:16:31,231 --> 00:16:32,866
See, I surprised you.
404
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,168
That was the unexpected so you laugh.
405
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:36,337
Of course, everybody knows that 1 and 1 are 11.
406
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,872
( LAUGHING )
407
00:16:38,906 --> 00:16:40,007
Ha, ha, see?
408
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,809
That's what the unexpected does.
409
00:16:41,842 --> 00:16:44,078
It makes you laugh because you don't expect that
410
00:16:44,111 --> 00:16:45,279
and it's a surprise.
411
00:16:45,312 --> 00:16:46,981
Now, when I came in the door and sat down,
412
00:16:47,014 --> 00:16:48,248
you didn't laugh, did you?
413
00:16:48,282 --> 00:16:50,217
Because there was nothing really funny,
414
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,086
you expected me to do that.
415
00:16:52,119 --> 00:16:55,055
But what if I had come in this way?
416
00:16:55,089 --> 00:16:57,091
Just a minute, I'll be right back.
417
00:16:57,124 --> 00:16:58,058
Now watch carefully, children,
418
00:16:58,092 --> 00:17:01,028
this should be very funny now. ( CHUCKLES )
419
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,964
( KNOCKING ON DOOR )
420
00:17:03,998 --> 00:17:05,265
( LAUGHING )
421
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:15,209
See?
422
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,911
That was unexpected and you laughed.
423
00:17:17,945 --> 00:17:20,814
So that's one way of making people laugh.
424
00:17:20,848 --> 00:17:22,816
( LAUGHING )
425
00:17:22,850 --> 00:17:25,185
Got you again.
426
00:17:25,219 --> 00:17:27,087
So you can surprise people and make 'em laugh.
427
00:17:27,121 --> 00:17:29,356
Now, another way to make people laugh
428
00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:31,358
is something familiar to them.
429
00:17:31,392 --> 00:17:32,226
If they see themselves
430
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,995
or if they see something in other people
431
00:17:35,029 --> 00:17:37,231
that they recognize, they'll laugh at that too.
432
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:41,969
Now, I'm going to do some movements for you, no words,
433
00:17:42,002 --> 00:17:44,304
just gestures and you'll have to try and guess
434
00:17:44,338 --> 00:17:46,440
what it is I'm doing, all right?
435
00:17:46,473 --> 00:17:49,076
I'll move this light table back.
436
00:17:51,879 --> 00:17:54,014
Well, we'll have to-- oh.
437
00:17:55,382 --> 00:17:57,217
All right, I'm gonna just do some movements
438
00:17:57,251 --> 00:18:01,822
and you have to tell me what I'm doing, all right.
439
00:18:01,855 --> 00:18:02,956
Putting on your shoes!
440
00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:04,358
That's right.
441
00:18:07,261 --> 00:18:08,262
Tying your shoelaces!
442
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,363
That's right.
443
00:18:11,932 --> 00:18:14,201
Shoes are on the wrong feet, that's right.
444
00:18:14,234 --> 00:18:16,003
I'll have to change 'em.
445
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:20,974
There.
446
00:18:21,008 --> 00:18:24,011
( CHILDREN ALL SHOUTING ANSWERS )
447
00:18:24,044 --> 00:18:25,913
That's right.
448
00:18:25,946 --> 00:18:28,248
Now, I'm gonna do another movement for you.
449
00:18:28,282 --> 00:18:29,383
This is called pantomime.
450
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:32,953
It was invented by the Romans about 2,000 years ago,
451
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,221
All right?
452
00:18:34,254 --> 00:18:37,891
Now, tell me what I'm doing.
453
00:18:37,925 --> 00:18:39,960
Throwing a baseball!
454
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:41,361
That's right.
455
00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:45,365
CHILDREN: You're catching it!
456
00:18:45,399 --> 00:18:47,835
Throwing a ball!
457
00:18:47,868 --> 00:18:49,403
You're catching it!
458
00:18:49,436 --> 00:18:53,373
( CHILDREN ALL SHOUTING ANSWERS )
459
00:18:53,407 --> 00:18:54,875
Ooh!
460
00:18:56,877 --> 00:18:57,978
That's right.
461
00:19:01,281 --> 00:19:03,250
Now, what am I doing? Wait a minute.
462
00:19:05,285 --> 00:19:06,386
CHILDREN: bouncing a ball!
463
00:19:06,420 --> 00:19:08,088
Bouncing a ball.
464
00:19:08,122 --> 00:19:10,224
That's a tennis ball.
465
00:19:10,257 --> 00:19:12,259
Now I'm gonna be a tennis player now.
466
00:19:12,292 --> 00:19:14,161
Left-handed tennis player.
467
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:15,996
This is gonna be in slow motion.
468
00:19:18,465 --> 00:19:20,434
Oh, it's a bad ball.
469
00:19:20,467 --> 00:19:21,869
Ooh!
470
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,242
Now, a slow-motion tennis player.
471
00:19:28,275 --> 00:19:31,912
Here comes the serve.
472
00:19:31,945 --> 00:19:33,180
CHILD: You're batting it.
473
00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:35,282
CHILDREN: You're batting it.
474
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:43,891
That's right.
475
00:19:43,924 --> 00:19:45,459
It went the wrong way, didn't it?
476
00:19:45,492 --> 00:19:49,863
Alright, now, how many have ever been to the circus?
477
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:50,797
Have you?
478
00:19:50,831 --> 00:19:52,132
Alright, now I'm gonna do a circus act.
479
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,201
First, you tell me what I'm doing now.
480
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:55,435
CHILDREN: You're climbing a ladder!
481
00:19:55,469 --> 00:19:59,072
Climbing up the ladder, that's right.
482
00:19:59,106 --> 00:20:00,274
Oh!
483
00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:01,975
( SHOUTING )
484
00:20:02,009 --> 00:20:03,177
A lion bit me.
485
00:20:05,679 --> 00:20:07,948
Okay, here we are at the top.
486
00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:09,316
Hello, kids, down there!
487
00:20:09,349 --> 00:20:12,352
( LAUGHING )
488
00:20:12,386 --> 00:20:14,154
What am I doing?
489
00:20:14,188 --> 00:20:17,891
CHILDREN: Tightrope .
490
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:18,992
Okay.
491
00:20:19,026 --> 00:20:21,061
( HUMMING )
492
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,030
GIRL: Afraid you're gonna fall.
493
00:20:23,063 --> 00:20:24,665
I think I am afraid I'm gonna fall.
494
00:20:24,698 --> 00:20:25,666
Ha, ha, ha.
495
00:20:25,699 --> 00:20:26,967
Oh!
496
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:31,171
Oh!
497
00:20:34,241 --> 00:20:35,342
All right, now.
498
00:20:35,375 --> 00:20:36,410
What have I got?
499
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,911
CHILDREN: A bicycle!
500
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,346
Have I got a bicycle?
501
00:20:39,379 --> 00:20:40,414
Okay, I'm going across.
502
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,282
CHILDREN: You're riding it...
503
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:50,390
Thank you. Ta-da!
504
00:20:50,424 --> 00:20:51,658
Oh, I beg your pardon, lady.
505
00:20:51,692 --> 00:20:53,026
( LAUGHING )
506
00:21:10,244 --> 00:21:12,212
CHILDREN: A yoyo!
507
00:21:12,246 --> 00:21:13,680
That's right.
508
00:21:13,714 --> 00:21:17,417
Round the world, over the falls, oh!
509
00:21:17,451 --> 00:21:19,720
CHILDREN: ( SHOUTING )
510
00:21:19,753 --> 00:21:20,954
My nose, that's right.
511
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,289
( SCHOOL BELL RINGS )
512
00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:24,391
Oh, dear.
513
00:21:24,424 --> 00:21:26,727
The time is up already?
514
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,162
Oh, Mr. Petrie, I can't tell you
515
00:21:29,196 --> 00:21:31,098
how much we enjoyed your little talk.
516
00:21:31,131 --> 00:21:32,299
Didn't we, children?
517
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:35,135
CHILDREN: ( CLAPPING ) Yeah!
518
00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:37,971
It was so entertaining and so informative
519
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:40,407
and, of course, we could listen to you all day
520
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,110
but now we must all take off for recess.
521
00:21:43,143 --> 00:21:45,178
No!
522
00:21:45,212 --> 00:21:48,282
Children, children, please.
523
00:21:48,315 --> 00:21:49,316
My goodness.
524
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:50,117
That's the first time
525
00:21:50,150 --> 00:21:54,087
I've ever heard them balk at recess.
526
00:21:54,121 --> 00:21:55,689
If we're very, very good,
527
00:21:55,722 --> 00:21:57,691
perhaps Mr. Petrie will come back sometime
528
00:21:57,724 --> 00:21:59,359
and pay us another visit, hm?
529
00:21:59,393 --> 00:22:03,030
CHILDREN: ( CLAPPING ) Yeah!
530
00:22:03,063 --> 00:22:06,033
Now then, children, say goodbye to Mr. Petrie.
531
00:22:06,066 --> 00:22:07,034
CHILDREN: Bye!
532
00:22:07,067 --> 00:22:08,101
Bye, kids.
533
00:22:08,135 --> 00:22:10,137
All right, now. Class is dismissed.
534
00:22:10,170 --> 00:22:11,271
Thank you for having me.
535
00:22:11,305 --> 00:22:12,306
Bye.
536
00:22:12,339 --> 00:22:13,674
Boy: Bye.
537
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:14,708
Girl: Can you come home with me?
538
00:22:14,741 --> 00:22:16,009
I can't come home with you now.
539
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:17,010
All right, boys. Come on now, hurry up.
540
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,011
Will you come home with me?
541
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:19,713
You won't have much time.
542
00:22:19,746 --> 00:22:21,148
Bye.
543
00:22:21,181 --> 00:22:22,182
Come on, son, that's it.
544
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:23,717
You know, Mr. Petrie,
545
00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:26,320
the next time I see "The Alan Brady Show,"
546
00:22:26,353 --> 00:22:29,289
I'm going to watch for your name.
547
00:22:29,323 --> 00:22:31,491
And I just want you to know
548
00:22:31,525 --> 00:22:32,492
( LAUGHING )
549
00:22:32,526 --> 00:22:35,162
I must say that I think you were much funnier
550
00:22:35,195 --> 00:22:36,430
than Captain Harper.
551
00:22:36,463 --> 00:22:38,065
( LAUGHING )
552
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:44,338
Phew.
553
00:22:44,371 --> 00:22:46,139
Rich, did you like my talk?
554
00:22:46,173 --> 00:22:47,307
Real good.
555
00:22:47,341 --> 00:22:49,343
Are you glad I came to your class today?
556
00:22:49,376 --> 00:22:50,344
Yup.
557
00:22:50,377 --> 00:22:51,745
Daddy? What?
558
00:22:51,778 --> 00:22:53,380
Did you bring me anything?
559
00:22:53,413 --> 00:22:54,681
Yeah, I did.
560
00:22:54,715 --> 00:22:58,085
I brought you a hug.
561
00:22:58,118 --> 00:22:59,453
Is that all?
562
00:22:59,486 --> 00:23:00,821
Well, what else would you like?
563
00:23:00,854 --> 00:23:02,055
A kiss.
564
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,390
Okay.
565
00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:05,292
Yay!
566
00:23:05,325 --> 00:23:07,327
Come on, pal. Let's go out to recess.
567
00:23:17,404 --> 00:23:18,372
Well, what did daddy do?
568
00:23:18,405 --> 00:23:19,706
Nothing, but he was good.
569
00:23:19,740 --> 00:23:21,308
And did all the children like daddy?
570
00:23:21,341 --> 00:23:22,342
Yup.
571
00:23:22,376 --> 00:23:23,343
But who liked daddy the best?
572
00:23:23,377 --> 00:23:24,444
Mrs. Gibbon.
573
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:31,685
Mrs. Gibbon, your teacher, liked daddy the best?
574
00:23:31,718 --> 00:23:33,153
Hi, gang.
575
00:23:33,186 --> 00:23:34,521
Did you bring me anything, daddy?
576
00:23:34,554 --> 00:23:36,156
As a matter of fact, I did.
577
00:23:36,189 --> 00:23:37,290
What is it, daddy?
578
00:23:37,324 --> 00:23:38,325
That's my autograph.
579
00:23:38,358 --> 00:23:39,359
Yay!
580
00:23:39,393 --> 00:23:40,527
Agh!
581
00:23:42,662 --> 00:23:44,297
Ah-hah, fooled you.
582
00:23:44,331 --> 00:23:45,565
You know why you laughed at that?
583
00:23:45,599 --> 00:23:46,733
It was unexpected.
584
00:23:46,767 --> 00:23:48,301
What are you talking about?
585
00:23:48,335 --> 00:23:49,569
That's just part of my lecture
586
00:23:49,603 --> 00:23:51,271
on the art of comedy writing.
587
00:23:51,304 --> 00:23:52,773
Well, Richie didn't tell me what you did
588
00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:55,275
but, from what I understand, Mrs. Gibbon has decided
589
00:23:55,308 --> 00:23:57,544
that comedy writers are almost as good as people.
590
00:23:57,577 --> 00:23:59,279
You heard right.
591
00:23:59,312 --> 00:24:01,481
Well, what did you do to captivate her so?
592
00:24:01,515 --> 00:24:03,417
Oh, the same thing I do to captivate you.
593
00:24:03,450 --> 00:24:06,186
Yeah, I ran up to her and I threw my arms around her.
594
00:24:06,219 --> 00:24:07,654
I said, "Mrs. Gibbon, I love you.
595
00:24:08,789 --> 00:24:10,257
If you don't give my boy good grades,
596
00:24:10,290 --> 00:24:13,360
I'll never do this again."
597
00:24:14,694 --> 00:24:16,563
That's pantomime.
598
00:24:16,596 --> 00:24:18,298
Oh. do that again.
599
00:24:18,331 --> 00:24:19,332
All right.
600
00:24:19,366 --> 00:24:21,468
( MUSIC PLAYING )
601
00:24:31,711 --> 00:24:34,581
( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )40915
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