Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,608 --> 00:00:02,153
~~
2
00:00:34,894 --> 00:00:36,979
( GUNFIRE, HORSES RUNNING ON TV )
3
00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,065
Ritchie, it's time for bed.
4
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:42,235
Ritchie?
5
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,653
Ritchie.
6
00:00:47,698 --> 00:00:50,785
Richard. Mommy! I can't see the man get killed!
7
00:00:50,826 --> 00:00:53,037
You'll see the man get killed tomorrow.
8
00:00:53,079 --> 00:00:54,664
Right now it's time for bed.
9
00:00:54,705 --> 00:00:56,082
Aww, gee, Mom.
10
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:57,917
Honey, I said that you could stay up
11
00:00:57,959 --> 00:00:59,835
until Daddy gets home, but he's so late now,
12
00:00:59,877 --> 00:01:01,921
and your sleep is more important. Come on, let's go.
13
00:01:01,921 --> 00:01:05,132
Can I comb my hair before I go to bed?
14
00:01:05,174 --> 00:01:06,801
No. March.
15
00:01:06,842 --> 00:01:08,594
Can I feed the turtle?
16
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,264
Ritchie, the turtle died a year ago.
17
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,975
Oh, yeah, I forgot. Hmm.
18
00:01:15,685 --> 00:01:17,270
Hi, honey. Sorry I'm late.
19
00:01:17,270 --> 00:01:18,854
I had a flat.
20
00:01:18,896 --> 00:01:20,690
Hi, Rich. What are you doing up?
21
00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:22,275
I waited for you, Daddy.
22
00:01:22,275 --> 00:01:24,110
Kiss Daddy good night, then off to bed.
23
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,571
Can Daddy cut my nails first?
24
00:01:26,612 --> 00:01:28,614
Rich, I cut your nails this morning.
25
00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:31,075
They grew back.
26
00:01:31,117 --> 00:01:33,119
All right, young man, let's get to bed.
27
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,121
Good night. Good night.
28
00:01:36,956 --> 00:01:38,749
Tuck me in later!
29
00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:40,209
Okay. Night, son.
30
00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:41,836
What's for dinner?
31
00:01:41,877 --> 00:01:43,754
Meatloaf. Where'd you get the flat tire?
32
00:01:43,796 --> 00:01:45,881
Just as I got off the 96th Street exit.
33
00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:47,633
How come you got off at 96th Street?
34
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,051
I had to drop Sal off.
35
00:01:49,093 --> 00:01:50,678
It was raining cats and dogs,
36
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,346
and she had nobody to pick her up.
37
00:01:52,388 --> 00:01:54,140
Poor girl hasn't got a husband.
38
00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:56,058
I wish she'd get married.
39
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:58,352
Why hasn't Sally ever married, Rob?
40
00:01:58,394 --> 00:02:01,272
She's a comedy writer. Should be fun to be with.
41
00:02:01,314 --> 00:02:03,316
She's an attractive girl.
42
00:02:03,316 --> 00:02:04,859
Sal's had plenty of boyfriends,
43
00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:06,777
but she scares them off. How?
44
00:02:06,819 --> 00:02:08,654
She's too quick with the answers.
45
00:02:08,654 --> 00:02:11,032
Guys hate girls that make jokes about everything.
46
00:02:11,073 --> 00:02:12,867
You don't mind if I make jokes.
47
00:02:12,909 --> 00:02:14,619
Well, I would if you made one
48
00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:16,203
every time you opened your mouth.
49
00:02:16,245 --> 00:02:17,663
Poor Sally.
50
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,290
Rob...
51
00:02:19,332 --> 00:02:21,000
You know what I was thinking?
52
00:02:21,042 --> 00:02:24,378
Yeah, and I'm 100% against it.
53
00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:26,172
But I didn't say anything.
54
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,007
I know, but you had that matchmaker look
55
00:02:28,049 --> 00:02:29,342
on your face.
56
00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:31,260
I don't see what harm there'd be
57
00:02:31,302 --> 00:02:33,679
in introducing her to, say, my cousin Thomas.
58
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:37,934
Cousin Thomas? The laboratory technician?
59
00:02:37,975 --> 00:02:41,228
Thomas is a very kind, sweet, gentle human being.
60
00:02:41,270 --> 00:02:44,649
He certainly is, and Sally is just the opposite.
61
00:02:44,690 --> 00:02:46,859
Well, they say opposites attract.
62
00:02:46,859 --> 00:02:48,736
Oh, honey, not that opposite.
63
00:02:48,778 --> 00:02:51,155
You're trying to put a canary in with a cat.
64
00:02:51,197 --> 00:02:53,366
Believe me, I've worked with that girl for years,
65
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:56,702
and I've seen how she demolishes guys with her wisecracks.
66
00:02:56,702 --> 00:02:58,704
You'd just be asking for trouble, honey.
67
00:02:58,704 --> 00:03:00,081
Oh, I don't see what trouble there would be
68
00:03:00,122 --> 00:03:01,874
in having them over for dinner.
69
00:03:01,874 --> 00:03:04,335
Laura, you surprise me. Why?
70
00:03:04,377 --> 00:03:06,921
You're always telling me how you hate brutality,
71
00:03:06,963 --> 00:03:08,839
and yet here you are inviting violence
72
00:03:08,881 --> 00:03:11,008
right into your own home.
73
00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:12,718
Well, I suppose, you're right, dear.
74
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,345
You bet I'm right.
75
00:03:17,348 --> 00:03:19,725
People shouldn't try to play cupid, honey.
76
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,310
No, they shouldn't.
77
00:03:21,352 --> 00:03:23,187
Suppose they did get married.
78
00:03:23,229 --> 00:03:24,897
Suppose we introduced them, they got married
79
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,941
and they hated one another.
80
00:03:26,983 --> 00:03:29,360
They'd blame us the rest of their lives for butting in.
81
00:03:29,402 --> 00:03:31,028
Of course.
82
00:03:34,073 --> 00:03:36,158
Honey, if fate had intended for them to meet,
83
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,827
fate would've taken care of it
84
00:03:37,868 --> 00:03:39,412
with no help from us.
85
00:03:39,412 --> 00:03:41,163
We didn't need a dinner party
86
00:03:41,205 --> 00:03:42,832
to get us together, right?
87
00:03:42,873 --> 00:03:43,916
Right.
88
00:03:46,252 --> 00:03:48,087
Honey, the best thing for us to do
89
00:03:48,129 --> 00:03:51,090
is just mind our own business and butt out.
90
00:03:51,132 --> 00:03:53,801
You're absolutely right. You bet I'm right.
91
00:03:53,843 --> 00:03:56,429
Should we make it a buffet or a sit-down dinner?
92
00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:15,114
Okay.
93
00:04:15,114 --> 00:04:17,742
I don't know what it is, but...
94
00:04:17,783 --> 00:04:19,827
Darling, even when we're like this, I--
95
00:04:19,869 --> 00:04:22,455
I have a terrible feeling of loneliness.
96
00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:26,292
Even as I speak to you now,
97
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:29,420
I feel you're... A million miles away.
98
00:04:29,462 --> 00:04:32,256
Darling? Darling, I've lost you.
99
00:04:32,298 --> 00:04:35,801
Yes, I--I know it now. I've lost you.
100
00:04:35,801 --> 00:04:39,931
I wonder where I lost you.
101
00:04:39,972 --> 00:04:42,767
That's great. With the white gloves, it'll work.
102
00:04:42,808 --> 00:04:45,978
Darling, when we're alone like this--
103
00:04:45,978 --> 00:04:48,064
Even when we're alone like this...
104
00:04:49,815 --> 00:04:51,943
Morning, Rob.
105
00:04:51,984 --> 00:04:54,320
Good morning, Buddy.
106
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:59,242
Alone like this...
107
00:04:59,283 --> 00:05:02,119
I have a...
108
00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:06,999
( CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY )
109
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:12,255
Robert, coffee come in yet? Not yet.
110
00:05:12,296 --> 00:05:14,507
I see you're busy, but I thought you could tell me something.
111
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,259
Yeah, go ahead.
112
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,344
Got any peroxide around here?
113
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:21,847
Peroxide? Maybe in the first aid cabinet. Why?
114
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,391
I don't know. I woke up this morning,
115
00:05:23,432 --> 00:05:25,476
I had a little itch on the side of my face.
116
00:05:25,518 --> 00:05:27,979
I thought maybe it was a mosquito bite or something.
117
00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:29,855
Take a look at it.
118
00:05:29,855 --> 00:05:31,190
No, I don't see anything.
119
00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:32,525
Probably an ingrown hair.
120
00:05:42,285 --> 00:05:45,162
Boy, some sense of humor for a comedy writer.
121
00:05:45,204 --> 00:05:47,373
I spent 2.95 for this gimmick,
122
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:49,875
and I didn't get a snicker.
123
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,211
Oh, Buddy? Listen, when Sally comes in,
124
00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:55,381
could you tactfully excuse yourself and wait in the hall?
125
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,300
I'd like to talk to her alone a second.
126
00:05:57,341 --> 00:05:59,885
Oh, something to do with this week's show? Oh, no.
127
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,179
Something to do with the show in general?
128
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:04,390
No, Buddy. really, it's a personal matter.
129
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,309
Oh, I see.
130
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:10,313
Buddy, it has nothing whatever to do with you.
131
00:06:10,354 --> 00:06:12,273
All right, when she comes, I'll wait out in the hall.
132
00:06:12,315 --> 00:06:13,900
You can call me when it's over.
133
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:16,152
Fine.
134
00:06:16,193 --> 00:06:18,029
I ain't hurt.
135
00:06:21,616 --> 00:06:23,910
Snacky service! Hiya, Buddy!
136
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,497
Three coffees here. One black,
137
00:06:28,539 --> 00:06:31,208
one regular, and one triple-light with four sugars.
138
00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:33,419
Hey, how come, Buddy, you take four sugars?
139
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,422
It takes energy to write these jokes. I always use four sugars.
140
00:06:36,422 --> 00:06:40,092
You better use five. The show ain't that funny.
141
00:06:40,092 --> 00:06:42,053
Hey, Rob, how's the show for this week?
142
00:06:42,094 --> 00:06:43,554
I hope it's better than last week.
143
00:06:43,596 --> 00:06:45,348
Boy, did I have to turn it off.
144
00:06:45,389 --> 00:06:47,308
That Alan Brady-- He's a good singer,
145
00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,602
but what does he always sing that slow stuff for?
146
00:06:49,644 --> 00:06:52,229
And I didn't like that sketch you guys did about the beauty contest.
147
00:06:52,271 --> 00:06:55,274
Fellas, that's real silly stuff.
148
00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:58,069
Why don't you write something with violence in it once in a while?
149
00:06:58,110 --> 00:06:59,612
I like good violence.
150
00:06:59,612 --> 00:07:01,155
Well, next time you come up,
151
00:07:01,197 --> 00:07:02,531
instead of a tip, I'll stab you.
152
00:07:03,658 --> 00:07:05,368
Now, that's funny!
153
00:07:05,409 --> 00:07:07,119
Why don't you put jokes like that in the show
154
00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:08,537
instead of that junk?
155
00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:12,291
So?
156
00:07:12,291 --> 00:07:14,627
Hi. Old man Charlie give us another bad review?
157
00:07:14,627 --> 00:07:16,295
Oh, much better than usual.
158
00:07:16,337 --> 00:07:18,214
Hi, Rob. Hi, Sal.
159
00:07:18,256 --> 00:07:20,633
Ooh, coffee. Mmm.
160
00:07:23,636 --> 00:07:25,471
Oh, boy.
161
00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,181
Okay, I'll wait outside!
162
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,271
I'll be right out here...
163
00:07:33,312 --> 00:07:35,106
If you want me.
164
00:07:38,609 --> 00:07:41,237
What's with camille?
165
00:07:41,279 --> 00:07:44,240
He's being overly dramatic because I asked him
166
00:07:44,282 --> 00:07:46,367
if he'd wait outside while I talked to you alone.
167
00:07:46,409 --> 00:07:49,161
I wanted to ask you to come to our house for dinner tonight.
168
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,705
And you don't want to invite Buddy and his wife
169
00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:52,623
because they have no table manners, right?
170
00:07:52,665 --> 00:07:55,376
You want to stop a minute while I tell you about it?
171
00:07:55,418 --> 00:07:56,544
I'm waiting.
172
00:07:56,586 --> 00:07:59,297
Well, Laura-- My wife--
173
00:07:59,338 --> 00:08:01,966
So far, I haven't heard anything I don't know.
174
00:08:02,008 --> 00:08:04,343
I'm sorry, chief. Go on.
175
00:08:04,385 --> 00:08:07,680
Well, Sally, Laura is having a dinner party
176
00:08:07,722 --> 00:08:11,017
for her cousin Thomas, and, well, she more or less thought--
177
00:08:11,017 --> 00:08:13,519
Your cousin Thomas and I would find each other mutually fascinating
178
00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:16,022
and we'd wind up married. What does he do for a living?
179
00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,607
He's a lab technician.
180
00:08:17,648 --> 00:08:19,567
Oh, wonderful. If it works out,
181
00:08:19,609 --> 00:08:21,694
I get a free supply of test tubes.
182
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,198
I'll be there, chief. Don't worry about it.
183
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,368
Okay, Buddy, you can come on in now!
184
00:08:29,368 --> 00:08:30,995
The coast is clear.
185
00:08:31,037 --> 00:08:32,496
Oh, thanks a lump.
186
00:08:32,538 --> 00:08:35,708
I was getting to like it out there.
187
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,210
Hey, Rob, what time do you want me for dinner tonight?
188
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:39,629
Oh, around 8:00-ish.
189
00:08:39,670 --> 00:08:41,714
It feels like there's a...
190
00:08:41,756 --> 00:08:44,216
Big party going on or something tonight and I ain't invited.
191
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,052
That's all right. I got plenty of friends.
192
00:08:46,052 --> 00:08:48,179
I got a date later to play solitaire.
193
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:50,473
Buddy, it's not a party.
194
00:08:50,514 --> 00:08:52,642
Laura wants Sally to meet her cousin Thomas.
195
00:08:52,683 --> 00:08:54,727
For this, I had to wait out in the hall?
196
00:08:54,727 --> 00:08:58,022
I'm sorry, Buddy. I thought maybe Sally would be embarrassed.
197
00:08:58,064 --> 00:09:01,150
Embarrassed? That I'm looking for a husband? Are you kidding?
198
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:04,779
If I thought it would help, I'd put an ad in the hobo news.
199
00:09:04,820 --> 00:09:08,574
Rob, what's my future husband like?
200
00:09:08,574 --> 00:09:11,577
Oh, well, Sal, he's a--he's a fella.
201
00:09:11,577 --> 00:09:14,247
He's a fella. Good enough. I'll marry him.
202
00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:20,753
Honey? Am I dressed all right?
203
00:09:20,795 --> 00:09:22,380
Oh, you look fine.
204
00:09:22,421 --> 00:09:23,756
I was gonna wear my blue,
205
00:09:23,756 --> 00:09:25,591
but I move faster in my tweed.
206
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,760
Why would you want to move fast?
207
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,221
In case your cousin is provoked into taking a swing at Sally,
208
00:09:30,263 --> 00:09:32,265
I want to be able to block the punch.
209
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:34,225
Oh, Rob. I'm sorry, honey.
210
00:09:34,267 --> 00:09:36,435
I'm petrified of this whole darn evening.
211
00:09:36,435 --> 00:09:39,605
Why are you petrified? It's gonna be a lovely evening.
212
00:09:39,605 --> 00:09:41,691
( DOORBELL RINGS ) Oh, that's one of them!
213
00:09:41,732 --> 00:09:43,609
Rob-- oh, you're not nervous.
214
00:09:43,609 --> 00:09:45,570
Look at this. "There's one of them now!"
215
00:09:45,611 --> 00:09:48,281
Wait a minute, honey! Wait, wait.
216
00:09:48,281 --> 00:09:50,575
Honey, we could still get out of the whole thing.
217
00:09:50,616 --> 00:09:52,785
You tell Thomas Sally's been drafted.
218
00:09:52,827 --> 00:09:54,787
And I'll tell Sally the place has been quarantined
219
00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:57,164
with chicken pox. How about that?
220
00:09:57,206 --> 00:09:59,584
Oh, Rob, you're being ridiculous. Answer the door.
221
00:10:03,796 --> 00:10:06,424
Thomas, how good to see you.
222
00:10:06,465 --> 00:10:10,303
Laura, you're certainly a sight for sore eyes.
223
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,555
You remember Rob. Yes, of course.
224
00:10:12,597 --> 00:10:14,432
Long time no see.
225
00:10:14,473 --> 00:10:16,142
Yeah, long time no see.
226
00:10:16,142 --> 00:10:17,685
Well, come on in.
227
00:10:17,727 --> 00:10:21,314
Oh, I--I brought this candy for you.
228
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:23,190
Oh, how nice.
229
00:10:23,232 --> 00:10:26,152
Well, you know what they say-- sweets to the sweet.
230
00:10:26,152 --> 00:10:27,528
Yeah, that's right.
231
00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:29,113
I'll put these in water.
232
00:10:29,155 --> 00:10:30,865
Oh, I brought those for Miss Rogers.
233
00:10:30,907 --> 00:10:32,825
Well, wasn't that awful of you?
234
00:10:32,825 --> 00:10:35,119
It was sure nice of you to invite me.
235
00:10:35,161 --> 00:10:37,163
Oh, we're glad to have you, Tom.
236
00:10:37,163 --> 00:10:38,706
Won't you sit down?
237
00:10:38,748 --> 00:10:41,667
Oh. Yes.
238
00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:43,336
Thank you.
239
00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:56,265
Can we get you anything?
240
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,142
No, thank you. I don't drink or smoke.
241
00:10:58,184 --> 00:11:01,312
You d-- Do you eat?
242
00:11:01,354 --> 00:11:03,189
Would you like something to munch on?
243
00:11:03,231 --> 00:11:05,399
Yes. Thank you!
244
00:11:12,865 --> 00:11:14,784
Laura tells me that Miss Rogers
245
00:11:14,825 --> 00:11:16,535
works with you, Rob.
246
00:11:16,577 --> 00:11:18,663
Uh, what is she like?
247
00:11:18,704 --> 00:11:20,790
I mean, I've seen her name on television,
248
00:11:20,831 --> 00:11:22,750
where it says "written by",
249
00:11:22,792 --> 00:11:26,545
but you can't tell much about a person by that, can you?
250
00:11:26,545 --> 00:11:29,215
Heh heh. no. No, you can't.
251
00:11:29,215 --> 00:11:31,217
What's she like?
252
00:11:31,217 --> 00:11:32,885
Uh, well, she's not married.
253
00:11:32,885 --> 00:11:34,804
And she's very attractive.
254
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:36,931
Well, that's very important,
255
00:11:36,973 --> 00:11:39,892
but you know what they say about beauty.
256
00:11:39,892 --> 00:11:41,727
About being skin-deep?
257
00:11:41,727 --> 00:11:44,480
Yes! Yes, I heard that.
258
00:11:46,691 --> 00:11:48,901
I'm afraid I'm a bit nervous about this meeting.
259
00:11:48,943 --> 00:11:52,321
Oh, Thomas, there's nothing to be nervous about? Is there, Rob?
260
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:55,741
Mm. I mean, why be nervous? What--
261
00:11:55,741 --> 00:11:57,243
( DOORBELL RINGS )
262
00:11:57,243 --> 00:11:59,203
There she is! There's sally!
263
00:11:59,245 --> 00:12:00,913
( INDISTINCT CHATTER )
264
00:12:02,415 --> 00:12:04,250
All right.
265
00:12:05,585 --> 00:12:07,253
Hi, Sally. Hi!
266
00:12:07,253 --> 00:12:08,629
Here's a plastic spaceship for Ritchie
267
00:12:08,671 --> 00:12:10,423
and a five-pound box of candy for you,
268
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:11,924
and let's not waste any more time. Where is he?
269
00:12:15,928 --> 00:12:18,431
How do you do? I'm Sally Rogers.
270
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:20,224
Are you still single?
271
00:12:23,769 --> 00:12:25,438
Am I still what?
272
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:28,190
Sally, this is my cousin--Thomas Edson.
273
00:12:29,609 --> 00:12:31,402
Thomas Edson?
274
00:12:31,444 --> 00:12:32,862
Oh, no.
275
00:12:34,447 --> 00:12:35,781
Well, you did a great job
276
00:12:35,781 --> 00:12:37,658
on that light bulb, Tom.
277
00:12:38,868 --> 00:12:40,453
I want to talk--
278
00:12:40,453 --> 00:12:41,996
I say, I want to talk to you about....
279
00:12:42,038 --> 00:12:43,915
( INDISTINCT )
280
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,630
Sally, not Edison. Edson.
281
00:12:50,671 --> 00:12:54,300
Oh, Edson. I thought he looked a little young for an old inventor.
282
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:58,930
I brought you these.
283
00:13:02,308 --> 00:13:04,518
It's small.
284
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:05,811
I meant these.
285
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,647
Oh, yes. Oh, of course.
286
00:13:07,688 --> 00:13:09,857
Oh, that's a much better fit.
287
00:13:09,899 --> 00:13:11,984
Sally! What?
288
00:13:12,026 --> 00:13:13,319
Wouldn't you like to sit down?
289
00:13:13,361 --> 00:13:14,528
Thank you.
290
00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:15,613
How about an hors d'oeuvre?
291
00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:17,281
No, thank you.
292
00:13:17,323 --> 00:13:19,784
This is my little hors d'oeuvre.
293
00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:23,704
Wouldn't you like a piece of herring?
294
00:13:23,746 --> 00:13:25,665
No, thanks. Give me hives.
295
00:13:25,665 --> 00:13:28,292
Herring gives you hives?
296
00:13:28,334 --> 00:13:30,002
Did you doctor ever tell you
297
00:13:30,002 --> 00:13:32,838
to try chlorcyclizine hydrochloride?
298
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,299
No, does it taste like herring?
299
00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:38,678
No, it's a pill.
300
00:13:38,678 --> 00:13:41,722
Oh, wonderful. I'll have a plate of herring pills.
301
00:13:44,809 --> 00:13:47,603
Actually, it's a pill designed to relieve an allergic symptom.
302
00:13:47,645 --> 00:13:49,564
You see, Miss Rogers, your body--
303
00:13:49,605 --> 00:13:51,399
if you're gonna talk about my body,
304
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,609
you'd better call me Sally.
305
00:13:53,651 --> 00:13:56,028
I didn't mean your body, Miss Rogers.
306
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,030
I was talking about the human body.
307
00:13:58,030 --> 00:14:01,033
Human body?! What am I, a kangaroo?
308
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:03,035
No, I didn't mean that at all.
309
00:14:03,077 --> 00:14:05,871
I hope you don't think I'd presume-- Well, it's getting late!
310
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:09,709
Time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?
311
00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:12,044
Come on, Sal, I'll drive you home.
312
00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:14,547
You comedy writers.
313
00:14:14,589 --> 00:14:16,841
I'll, uh, just see to dinner.
314
00:14:16,882 --> 00:14:18,884
Excuse me. I'll see it with her.
315
00:14:20,553 --> 00:14:23,097
All right, don't say it, don't say it.
316
00:14:23,139 --> 00:14:25,891
It's not fair. 95% of the time, you're right.
317
00:14:25,891 --> 00:14:28,436
When you're wrong, will you please give me a chance to say so?
318
00:14:28,477 --> 00:14:31,063
All right, say so. But I may not be wrong.
319
00:14:31,105 --> 00:14:33,816
Oh, honey, did you see what she's doing to that poor guy out there?
320
00:14:33,858 --> 00:14:35,568
I know, it's pretty awful.
321
00:14:35,610 --> 00:14:37,445
But maybe she'll calm down during dinner.
322
00:14:37,486 --> 00:14:39,530
Gosh, I hope so. Any other guy
323
00:14:39,572 --> 00:14:41,699
would have punched her in the nose.
324
00:14:41,741 --> 00:14:44,368
The next time you want to get a date for Sally, invite Milton Berle
325
00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:46,078
and have them meet in Madison Square Garden.
326
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,581
Well, I guess the best thing to do
327
00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:50,082
is just serve as quickly as possible
328
00:14:50,124 --> 00:14:51,918
and make it a short evening. Yeah.
329
00:14:51,918 --> 00:14:53,836
Good idea.
330
00:14:58,591 --> 00:14:59,926
What are you doing?
331
00:14:59,926 --> 00:15:01,594
Shortening the evening.
332
00:15:27,536 --> 00:15:28,788
Buddy?
333
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,459
Buddy? What? What?
334
00:15:33,459 --> 00:15:35,544
Oh, Rob, hi. Wait just a minute. I've got to think.
335
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,588
What time did you come in?
336
00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:39,632
Oh, I don't know. I've probably been here
337
00:15:39,632 --> 00:15:42,677
an hour or so. Why?
338
00:15:42,718 --> 00:15:44,679
You haven't been on time the last three years.
339
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,555
I just got a fantastic idea for a sketch.
340
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:48,641
I just want to put it down before I forget it.
341
00:15:48,683 --> 00:15:52,687
Oh, why, Buddy, I can't tell you how happy I am
342
00:15:52,728 --> 00:15:55,481
that you're taking an interest in your work
343
00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:57,066
here at the office.
344
00:15:58,985 --> 00:16:01,612
Hey, very clever dialogue.
345
00:16:01,654 --> 00:16:04,532
"Grzgumpferdash.
346
00:16:04,574 --> 00:16:07,827
Bskanvlardly zmimagrimim."
347
00:16:09,203 --> 00:16:10,705
I still think it's a good idea.
348
00:16:10,746 --> 00:16:11,998
I just don't know how to type.
349
00:16:17,169 --> 00:16:19,213
Buddy, you're a fraud.
350
00:16:19,255 --> 00:16:21,215
I'm a fraud?! Did you hear that? I'm a fraud.
351
00:16:21,257 --> 00:16:22,967
Are you kidding? I've worked my brains
352
00:16:23,009 --> 00:16:24,969
to the white meat around here!
353
00:16:25,011 --> 00:16:27,054
I come up with some good stuff, too.
354
00:16:27,096 --> 00:16:29,890
And I show up, like Sal-- Hey, where's Sally?
355
00:16:29,932 --> 00:16:31,767
She may be a little late this morning.
356
00:16:31,809 --> 00:16:34,186
She worked very hard last night.
357
00:16:34,228 --> 00:16:35,980
What do you mean she worked hard?
358
00:16:36,022 --> 00:16:37,899
Well, it isn't easy to carve up
359
00:16:37,940 --> 00:16:40,568
a 150-pound lab technician.
360
00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:41,944
She did it again.
361
00:16:41,986 --> 00:16:43,571
Oh, boy. Ha ha!
362
00:16:43,613 --> 00:16:45,197
She started in on him when she met him
363
00:16:45,239 --> 00:16:47,158
and chopped away at him all through dinner.
364
00:16:47,199 --> 00:16:49,869
Yeah? What was the outstanding zinger?
365
00:16:49,911 --> 00:16:52,163
I don't remember all of the goodies, but during dessert,
366
00:16:52,204 --> 00:16:54,707
she told him he was a wonderful dinner companion,
367
00:16:54,749 --> 00:16:56,876
a sparkling conversationalist,
368
00:16:56,876 --> 00:16:59,879
and why didn't he consider going on a lecture tour.
369
00:16:59,879 --> 00:17:02,173
What's wrong with that?
370
00:17:02,214 --> 00:17:05,092
He hadn't said a word through the whole meal.
371
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:07,553
Oh, she is a beauty.
372
00:17:07,595 --> 00:17:09,555
Where does she come up with it?
373
00:17:09,597 --> 00:17:10,890
Hi, gang.
374
00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:12,516
Hi, Sal. Sorry I'm late.
375
00:17:12,558 --> 00:17:13,935
What are you so happy about?
376
00:17:13,976 --> 00:17:15,937
Come on, pep down.
377
00:17:15,978 --> 00:17:18,064
Ah, I guess I ate too much last night.
378
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,982
I couldn't get to sleep.
379
00:17:20,024 --> 00:17:21,525
Coffee come in?
380
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:22,777
Not yet.
381
00:17:22,818 --> 00:17:24,028
Any phone calls?
382
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,571
Not since I came in.
383
00:17:25,571 --> 00:17:27,240
Are you sure? Yeah.
384
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,824
Why, were you expecting a call?
385
00:17:28,866 --> 00:17:31,577
Well, not exactly.
386
00:17:31,577 --> 00:17:33,246
Hey, I sure had a wonderful time
387
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:35,081
at your house last night, Rob.
388
00:17:35,081 --> 00:17:37,083
I'm glad, Sal.
389
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:40,920
Hey, Rob told me you were in delightful form last night.
390
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,047
I told him you were the life of the party.
391
00:17:43,089 --> 00:17:46,092
Yeah, that's me. Old life-of- the-party Sal.
392
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:48,135
Jokes for any occasion.
393
00:17:48,177 --> 00:17:50,930
Tell me, how'd you like Laura's cousin?
394
00:17:50,972 --> 00:17:53,099
I don't know.
395
00:17:53,099 --> 00:17:54,934
Why do you mean you don't know?
396
00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:58,854
Well, he and I didn't get to talk very much.
397
00:17:58,896 --> 00:18:00,856
BUDDY: Come on, there were only the four of you.
398
00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:02,775
Well, I--
399
00:18:02,775 --> 00:18:05,278
I think Sal means that Thomas didn't say much.
400
00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:08,990
I didn't give him much chance to.
401
00:18:09,031 --> 00:18:10,825
Rob, you sure there were no phone calls for me?
402
00:18:10,866 --> 00:18:12,243
You can check with Marge.
403
00:18:12,285 --> 00:18:13,661
Maybe someone called before I came in.
404
00:18:13,703 --> 00:18:14,954
I checked with Marge
405
00:18:14,996 --> 00:18:16,289
when I came in.
406
00:18:16,289 --> 00:18:18,791
( TELEPHONE RINGS )
407
00:18:21,794 --> 00:18:22,962
Hello?
408
00:18:24,714 --> 00:18:27,008
Oh. Just a minute.
409
00:18:27,049 --> 00:18:28,968
Anybody order prune yogurt?
410
00:18:28,968 --> 00:18:31,137
Yeah, me. I'm the prune yogurt.
411
00:18:31,137 --> 00:18:34,140
Yeah, send it up to the writers' room.
412
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:35,975
Okay, thanks.
413
00:18:39,854 --> 00:18:42,815
Well, fellas, what do you say? Get to work?
414
00:18:45,026 --> 00:18:47,612
No, Sal. No use jumping right into it,
415
00:18:47,653 --> 00:18:49,113
if you'd like to wait for coffee
416
00:18:49,155 --> 00:18:51,198
and take a look at the paper.
417
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,867
Why don't we have what they call those breakfast breaks?
418
00:18:52,909 --> 00:18:55,328
Like for maybe two, three hours.
419
00:18:56,954 --> 00:18:58,664
What's the matter with you two?
420
00:18:58,664 --> 00:19:00,166
We're just trying to pep you up.
421
00:19:00,166 --> 00:19:02,001
You look like a cheerleader for an accident.
422
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:05,129
We just thought maybe you didn't feel
423
00:19:05,171 --> 00:19:06,797
like making any jokes today.
424
00:19:06,839 --> 00:19:08,215
Jokes? Heh.
425
00:19:08,257 --> 00:19:11,010
Oh, I want to make jokes.
426
00:19:11,052 --> 00:19:13,346
Gotta make jokes.
427
00:19:13,346 --> 00:19:17,141
There's nothing I love better than making jokes.
428
00:19:17,183 --> 00:19:20,144
Didn't I make a bunch of great jokes last night, Rob?
429
00:19:20,186 --> 00:19:23,147
Oh, boy, Buddy, you should've seen me.
430
00:19:23,189 --> 00:19:25,691
I was a small riot.
431
00:19:25,691 --> 00:19:27,693
I was so funny--
432
00:19:27,735 --> 00:19:29,820
I was so funny, cousin Thomas laughed so hard
433
00:19:29,862 --> 00:19:31,864
he almost smiled.
434
00:19:34,408 --> 00:19:37,370
I was so doggone funny...
435
00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:40,998
( SOBBING ) I couldn't stand myself!
436
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:42,375
Who's the prune yogurt?
437
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:43,876
Excuse me!
438
00:19:47,129 --> 00:19:49,674
All right, go ahead, say it.
439
00:19:49,715 --> 00:19:51,968
I deserve it. It was my fault.
440
00:19:52,009 --> 00:19:53,761
All right, I'll say it.
441
00:19:53,803 --> 00:19:56,097
It was your fault. You shouldn't have butted in.
442
00:19:56,138 --> 00:19:58,266
And it isn't as if I didn't warn you, either.
443
00:19:58,307 --> 00:20:00,351
Well, you don't have to gloat about it.
444
00:20:00,393 --> 00:20:02,687
Honey, I'm not gloating.
445
00:20:02,728 --> 00:20:04,939
I'm just trying to point out that it's not a good idea
446
00:20:04,981 --> 00:20:06,899
to put a canary in with a cat.
447
00:20:06,899 --> 00:20:09,235
Not even a lonely canary and a lonely cat?
448
00:20:09,277 --> 00:20:12,738
Not even a tiny cat and a giant canary.
449
00:20:12,738 --> 00:20:15,449
You only saw half the results last night.
450
00:20:15,491 --> 00:20:17,159
If you think Tom was miserable,
451
00:20:17,201 --> 00:20:19,078
you should've seen poor Sal this morning.
452
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,080
( DOORBELL RINGS ) Who in the world is that?
453
00:20:21,122 --> 00:20:22,415
I don't know.
454
00:20:25,751 --> 00:20:28,754
Thomas. We were just talking about you.
455
00:20:28,796 --> 00:20:30,464
Oh, were you? We sure were.
456
00:20:30,506 --> 00:20:32,133
Come on in, Tom.
457
00:20:32,174 --> 00:20:34,427
Thank you. I can't stay but a minute.
458
00:20:34,427 --> 00:20:37,888
I just came by because, well--
459
00:20:37,930 --> 00:20:40,266
because I'm a little upset about last evening.
460
00:20:40,266 --> 00:20:42,476
We thought you would be. Well, I am.
461
00:20:42,518 --> 00:20:45,187
I realize you went through a lot of trouble for me to meet Sally.
462
00:20:45,229 --> 00:20:46,981
Thomas, about last night--
463
00:20:47,023 --> 00:20:48,816
you should know that it was my idea
464
00:20:48,858 --> 00:20:50,443
for you and Sally to meet.
465
00:20:50,443 --> 00:20:51,944
Oh, don't listen to her, Tom.
466
00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:53,362
It was as much my idea as yours.
467
00:20:53,404 --> 00:20:55,781
I'm surprised at you two.
468
00:20:55,823 --> 00:20:57,783
Surprised at us? Why?
469
00:20:57,825 --> 00:21:00,786
For trying to grab credit from each other.
470
00:21:00,786 --> 00:21:02,246
Credit?
471
00:21:02,288 --> 00:21:04,123
For the delightful evening.
472
00:21:04,165 --> 00:21:06,292
Delightful? But you just said
473
00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:08,169
that you were upset about last night.
474
00:21:08,210 --> 00:21:09,962
I was. I was upset
475
00:21:09,962 --> 00:21:12,173
because I didn't thank you properly for it.
476
00:21:12,214 --> 00:21:16,010
That Sally sure does go on, doesn't she?
477
00:21:16,052 --> 00:21:18,512
My, I had a good time.
478
00:21:18,554 --> 00:21:20,848
You had a good time?
479
00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:23,100
Oh, yes. I can't remember
480
00:21:23,142 --> 00:21:25,311
when I laughed that much.
481
00:21:28,564 --> 00:21:30,358
Thomas, we didn't see you laughing.
482
00:21:30,399 --> 00:21:32,401
Oh, not here.
483
00:21:32,443 --> 00:21:34,820
Last night when I got home.
484
00:21:36,989 --> 00:21:39,325
And at the lab all day.
485
00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:41,953
I kept remembering some of the things she said,
486
00:21:41,994 --> 00:21:45,831
and I'd find myself just laughing out loud.
487
00:21:45,831 --> 00:21:48,417
Right out loud.
488
00:21:48,459 --> 00:21:50,836
Why, once, I shook so hard,
489
00:21:50,836 --> 00:21:53,923
I emulsified xylene and hexyl alcohol.
490
00:21:55,174 --> 00:21:57,260
And you know they don't mix.
491
00:21:57,301 --> 00:22:00,096
Oh, no. They don't mix.
492
00:22:00,137 --> 00:22:03,391
I've never met anyone quite like your Sally before.
493
00:22:03,432 --> 00:22:06,185
There aren't many like her.
494
00:22:06,185 --> 00:22:08,563
Rob, I was wondering--
495
00:22:08,604 --> 00:22:11,315
do you think Sally would go to the movies with me some evening?
496
00:22:11,357 --> 00:22:13,526
I mean, do you think she might like that?
497
00:22:13,568 --> 00:22:15,861
Well, I don't know.
498
00:22:15,903 --> 00:22:17,863
What do you think, Laura?
499
00:22:17,905 --> 00:22:19,365
Well, gee, I don't know.
500
00:22:19,407 --> 00:22:20,992
I hate to try and decide
501
00:22:21,033 --> 00:22:23,202
what people might or might not like.
502
00:22:23,202 --> 00:22:25,121
That would be butting in, wouldn't it?
503
00:22:25,162 --> 00:22:29,041
Yes, that, uh-- that would be... What she said.
504
00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:31,043
What do you think, Thomas?
505
00:22:31,085 --> 00:22:33,212
I'd like to call her, but...
506
00:22:33,254 --> 00:22:36,382
I really don't think I'm her type. Do you?
507
00:22:36,424 --> 00:22:40,094
Well, I don't want to butt in.
508
00:22:40,136 --> 00:22:43,014
But it would be easy to find out...
509
00:22:43,055 --> 00:22:45,057
By calling her up.
510
00:22:45,057 --> 00:22:47,810
Plaza 39098.
511
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,397
Oh, I don't know.
512
00:22:52,899 --> 00:22:54,191
What was that number?
513
00:22:54,233 --> 00:22:56,193
Plaza 39098. Plaza 39098.
514
00:23:00,364 --> 00:23:02,283
What?
515
00:23:02,325 --> 00:23:03,951
What?
516
00:23:03,993 --> 00:23:05,953
Oh, I don't know.
517
00:23:05,995 --> 00:23:10,917
Around $10, I suppose. why?
518
00:23:10,917 --> 00:23:14,503
( LAUGHING )
519
00:23:14,545 --> 00:23:16,589
I see.
520
00:23:16,589 --> 00:23:18,424
Good-bye, Sally.
521
00:23:18,424 --> 00:23:21,969
Ha ha ha! That girl, she does go on.
522
00:23:22,011 --> 00:23:24,347
What was that about the $10?
523
00:23:24,388 --> 00:23:27,266
She wanted to know how much money I was gonna spend on her
524
00:23:27,266 --> 00:23:30,186
so she'd know how dressed up to get for me.
525
00:23:30,228 --> 00:23:31,938
( ALL LAUGHING )
526
00:23:55,253 --> 00:23:56,587
Well, honey, you did it.
527
00:23:56,629 --> 00:23:58,422
You put a canary in with a cat.
528
00:23:58,464 --> 00:24:00,549
You're amazing. I'm not kidding myself.
529
00:24:00,591 --> 00:24:02,969
I don't imagine they'll end up married.
530
00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:05,054
But at least, when they go to the movies, they've got company,
531
00:24:05,096 --> 00:24:07,014
and that's better than going alone.
532
00:24:07,056 --> 00:24:09,141
You're absolutely right.
533
00:24:09,141 --> 00:24:11,477
Honey, I have a funny-looking cousin
534
00:24:11,477 --> 00:24:13,354
who'd like to meet a girl.
535
00:24:13,396 --> 00:24:15,648
Do you have any single friends for my cousin?
536
00:24:15,690 --> 00:24:18,317
Uh, well, what's this cousin look like?
537
00:24:18,317 --> 00:24:19,610
He looks a lot like me.
538
00:24:19,652 --> 00:24:22,154
Hmm.
539
00:24:24,282 --> 00:24:26,909
Well, you know what they say about beauty.
540
00:24:31,497 --> 00:24:33,624
~~38628
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.