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1
00:00:04,075 --> 00:00:07,299
Remember on your birthday how
you asked me for something special?
2
00:00:07,816 --> 00:00:10,509
Oh my God!
You're taking me to Cancun!
3
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,397
Not that birthday.
4
00:00:12,936 --> 00:00:16,018
You bought those diamond earrings from Tiffany's?
- Not... Special.
5
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:20,744
How many birthdays are going back, Jeff?
I'm no longer interested in seeing The Go-Go's.
6
00:00:21,979 --> 00:00:23,647
That was never gonna happen.
7
00:00:24,969 --> 00:00:28,335
Whatever it is, I'm sure I will love it
or whatever I exchange it for.
8
00:00:29,542 --> 00:00:31,448
You're not gonna want
to exchange this, my friend.
9
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,658
Fifth row center for a little
Broadway offering called Wicked.
10
00:00:35,551 --> 00:00:36,968
You're kidding!
11
00:00:37,135 --> 00:00:39,188
I can't believe you remembered.
12
00:00:39,355 --> 00:00:41,166
It's been like four years.
13
00:00:42,268 --> 00:00:45,086
It's great. They probably
worked out the kinks by now.
14
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,672
What made you think of this?
15
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:51,705
Well, I was in that neighborhood where there's
theater after theater, all the theaters...
16
00:00:52,824 --> 00:00:54,322
What's it called down there?
17
00:00:54,903 --> 00:00:56,473
The theater district?
18
00:00:57,211 --> 00:00:58,704
No, it'll come to me.
19
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,771
Anyway. Looked up,
saw the poster, thought of you.
20
00:01:03,251 --> 00:01:05,856
The poster has two witches on it.
21
00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:08,442
Right, it is the theater district.
22
00:01:09,901 --> 00:01:12,030
Thank you, honey, this is very sweet.
23
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,114
Wait. Jeff, there's only
one ticket in here.
24
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,914
I am not gonna cause a distraction
while you sneak in the side door.
25
00:01:23,478 --> 00:01:25,584
I'm not going.
That's part of your gift.
26
00:01:26,501 --> 00:01:28,630
I don't wanna go alone.
- Yes, you do.
27
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,547
I want you to go with me.
- No, you don't.
28
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,509
It's more fun to share
the experience with someone.
29
00:01:33,802 --> 00:01:38,858
Is it? Well, let's examine the last time
we shared the theater going experience.
30
00:01:39,025 --> 00:01:42,811
We got to our seats.
- You mimed killing yourself.
31
00:01:43,856 --> 00:01:46,690
Curtain went up.
- You mimed killing yourself.
32
00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,675
Three town's people on stage started...
33
00:01:50,223 --> 00:01:51,338
to sing.
34
00:01:52,397 --> 00:01:55,155
You mimed killing them and
then turned the gun on yourself.
35
00:01:57,063 --> 00:01:59,929
That was before
the boiler went on the fritz.
36
00:02:00,975 --> 00:02:03,622
This is the most thoughtful gift ever!
37
00:02:29,319 --> 00:02:30,888
Shut up, Russell.
38
00:02:32,362 --> 00:02:33,817
Hey, guys. What's going on?
39
00:02:34,516 --> 00:02:36,123
Well, Russell's making fun of us
40
00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:38,710
because I mentioned that Adam and I
are taking dance lessons for our wedding.
41
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,219
Not you, just Adam or
should I say Mr. Mo Jangles.
42
00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:47,594
There's nothing gay about
taking dance lessons for your wedding.
43
00:02:47,844 --> 00:02:48,969
Yeah, we did.
44
00:02:49,221 --> 00:02:52,081
Oh, did you, Fred Astaire,
at some guy's ass?
45
00:02:58,055 --> 00:03:00,601
What? It's funny when it's not me.
46
00:03:01,438 --> 00:03:04,095
Well, we're starting early because
47
00:03:04,311 --> 00:03:07,291
"we" need all the help "we" can get.
48
00:03:09,381 --> 00:03:12,369
It's a good thing you're holding your
hand up so I don't get my feelings hurt.
49
00:03:13,198 --> 00:03:14,275
I'm sorry.
50
00:03:14,442 --> 00:03:16,770
It doesn't matter
that you're a bad dancer.
51
00:03:16,937 --> 00:03:19,376
It's just another thing we get to do
together. And I love doing things with you.
52
00:03:19,626 --> 00:03:20,667
Me too.
53
00:03:20,899 --> 00:03:22,901
Don't you mean "Me tutu"?
54
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,021
Ballerina?
55
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,572
Alright, I'm out. Pay for me.
56
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,555
You know, Adam, you don't have
to pretend to love everything she does.
57
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,850
Do you get a commission
every time a couple breaks up?
58
00:03:38,188 --> 00:03:40,375
I'm saying there's such a thing
as too much togetherness.
59
00:03:40,542 --> 00:03:41,864
You see the shining?
60
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,581
You're old.
61
00:03:46,201 --> 00:03:47,221
I'm wise.
62
00:03:47,388 --> 00:03:49,364
When you've been together
as long as Audrey and I have
63
00:03:49,614 --> 00:03:52,534
it's OK to have seperate interests.
For instance, she loves going to the theater.
64
00:03:52,973 --> 00:03:54,202
And I hate it.
65
00:03:55,366 --> 00:03:57,413
Hating the theater is not an interest.
66
00:03:58,817 --> 00:04:00,417
An interest is something you enjoy.
67
00:04:00,827 --> 00:04:02,604
I enjoy hating the theater.
68
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,172
There's gotta be stuff
you guys like doing together.
69
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,370
There's gotta be.
70
00:04:10,892 --> 00:04:12,993
There is. Like the Boat Show.
71
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,166
Which, by the way, is in town this week.
- Again?
72
00:04:16,793 --> 00:04:18,324
Didn't we just go to that thing?
73
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:20,103
A year ago.
- Really?
74
00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:22,982
God, feels like just
yesterday I was thinking
75
00:04:23,149 --> 00:04:25,878
"Boy, glad I don't have to suffer
through this for another year."
76
00:04:26,311 --> 00:04:28,257
Come on, you love the Boat Show!
77
00:04:28,424 --> 00:04:31,232
No, I tolerate it.
I only do it 'cause you like it.
78
00:04:33,178 --> 00:04:35,910
First time I've heard
that outside the bedroom.
79
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:47,046
I hear the new lead is great.
Who was the original girl on this?
80
00:04:47,738 --> 00:04:49,061
Kristin Chenoweth.
81
00:04:50,735 --> 00:04:53,438
My husband would not have
known that in a million years.
82
00:04:55,517 --> 00:04:57,348
So, where do you wanna
go get dinner after?
83
00:04:59,862 --> 00:05:01,131
One, two, three,
84
00:05:01,298 --> 00:05:02,942
back, two, three,
85
00:05:03,109 --> 00:05:04,775
down, two, three,
86
00:05:04,942 --> 00:05:06,483
one, two, three.
87
00:05:07,051 --> 00:05:08,317
Come on, count.
88
00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:12,572
One, two, three and back...
- Not out loud.
89
00:05:13,155 --> 00:05:15,742
Can't you think something
without actually saying it?
90
00:05:15,992 --> 00:05:17,594
Yeah, I'm doing it right now.
91
00:05:18,134 --> 00:05:20,747
No, no, no.
You see, it's forward, two, three...
92
00:05:20,897 --> 00:05:24,115
He's trying Mr. Vargus.
He just doesn't have any sense of rhythm.
93
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,252
You see, he's raised on a comune.**
94
00:05:26,502 --> 00:05:28,235
I don't need a bio, chica.
95
00:05:29,755 --> 00:05:31,208
He's not the problem.
96
00:05:31,375 --> 00:05:32,871
I'm not?
- He's not?
97
00:05:32,977 --> 00:05:34,650
No, you are.
98
00:05:35,554 --> 00:05:36,934
Tough break, chica.
99
00:05:54,674 --> 00:05:57,017
You got me.** You're so good!
100
00:06:00,705 --> 00:06:05,391
You know, the first time I saw this
Kristin blew me away. But this girl, she...
101
00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:07,338
might be better.
102
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:10,210
I mean, she really
made Glinda her own.
103
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,884
Oh my God! This isn't a strip club.
104
00:06:17,051 --> 00:06:18,205
I want my money back!
105
00:06:20,790 --> 00:06:21,667
Oh my God!
106
00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,710
I thought this was a strip club.
I got all turned around...
107
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,088
I saw you inside.
- No, you didn't.
108
00:06:26,338 --> 00:06:28,674
You were crying.
- No, I wasn't.
109
00:06:28,924 --> 00:06:30,217
And I took a picture.
110
00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:32,761
That's good quality.
111
00:06:33,299 --> 00:06:34,906
Now delete it. Delete it!
112
00:06:37,211 --> 00:06:38,232
Fine.
113
00:06:39,630 --> 00:06:41,520
Fine, I was in there. I like musicals.
114
00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:43,325
Don't tell anyone.
115
00:06:44,181 --> 00:06:45,687
That you were here,
116
00:06:45,754 --> 00:06:47,142
that you were sobbing,
117
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,676
or that
"she really made Glinda her own"?
118
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,108
What's gonna take to keep you quiet?
119
00:06:55,408 --> 00:06:56,768
What do you got?
120
00:06:56,818 --> 00:06:59,496
I can get you great seats
to any show anytime.
121
00:06:59,898 --> 00:07:01,289
Come on, what's your connection?
122
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:07,398
Well, I may or may not be
the editor of Bernadette Peters' fanzine.
123
00:07:09,089 --> 00:07:10,089
Deal.
124
00:07:11,041 --> 00:07:13,800
You do not want to cross me
on this because I swear to you
125
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,672
if anyone finds out you will
rue the day that you...
126
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:18,432
Second act!
127
00:07:25,856 --> 00:07:26,774
That's all you're having?
128
00:07:27,465 --> 00:07:29,015
Oh, we have a dance lesson today
129
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,887
and Mr. Vargus doesn't like us
to practice on a full stomach.
130
00:07:32,747 --> 00:07:34,750
Screw Mr. Vargus.
131
00:07:36,262 --> 00:07:39,434
Trouble in Danceland?
- Well, it seems that
132
00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:43,289
"we're" not as good as
"we" thought we were.
133
00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:47,673
That joke stopped being
funny like four days ago.
134
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,296
Oh, has it been four days?
135
00:07:49,546 --> 00:07:50,902
Because you'd think that
136
00:07:51,069 --> 00:07:53,342
"we" be better by now.
137
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:57,529
Oh, don't get mad, honey.
It's just a dance class.
138
00:07:57,696 --> 00:07:59,462
It's like you said.
Something we can do together.
139
00:08:02,606 --> 00:08:04,420
So, you snuck in late last night.
140
00:08:04,587 --> 00:08:07,815
Oh, yeah, the show was over 3 hours long.
* after midnight.
141
00:08:08,065 --> 00:08:10,543
Mr. Vargus says it's really
important to get a good night sleep.
142
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:12,073
Oh my God!
143
00:08:12,922 --> 00:08:15,489
It was so good, Jeff.
You woulda hated it.
144
00:08:16,342 --> 00:08:17,866
See how that works?
145
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:19,630
She goes to the theater
146
00:08:20,103 --> 00:08:23,334
I stay home where I don't have to hear
anyone express themself through song.
147
00:08:25,216 --> 00:08:28,589
Unless of course Adam * love ballad Mr. Vargus.
148
00:08:30,403 --> 00:08:31,461
Jealous!
149
00:08:33,118 --> 00:08:35,702
You almost finished here?
I don't want to be late for the Boat Show.
150
00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:39,780
First 500 customers get
the commemorative refrigerator magnet.
151
00:08:40,747 --> 00:08:43,809
That's today? I have ticket
to the matinee. I'm going to the theatre.
152
00:08:44,318 --> 00:08:46,700
Again? You're turning into a...
153
00:08:48,155 --> 00:08:50,232
What do they call people
who go to the theater?
154
00:08:50,857 --> 00:08:52,142
Theater-goers?
155
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,447
You will not believe how often
we have this exact conversation.
156
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,854
You always have fun when we go.
157
00:08:59,021 --> 00:09:01,764
We eat Boat Show junk,
use boat lingo,
158
00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:04,186
I make a funny seaman pun.
159
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:07,381
I quietly question all my life choices.
160
00:09:08,605 --> 00:09:10,476
I've never been to a Boat Show.
161
00:09:10,643 --> 00:09:12,044
What do you do there?
162
00:09:14,901 --> 00:09:16,469
You look at boats.
163
00:09:17,887 --> 00:09:19,493
You really didn't see that coming?
164
00:09:20,362 --> 00:09:22,806
How can you skip the Boat Show?
You'll miss all the celebrities.
165
00:09:23,235 --> 00:09:25,427
Captain Crunch is not a celebrity.
166
00:09:28,156 --> 00:09:31,369
I'm sorry, what
cereal box is your face on?
167
00:09:33,958 --> 00:09:37,237
Come on, Audrey, you gotta go.
- No, fair is fair, Jeff.
168
00:09:37,287 --> 00:09:40,226
You didn't have to go to the theater with me.**
I shouldn't have to go to the Boat Show with you.
169
00:09:40,393 --> 00:09:42,499
Not same thing.
- It's exactly the same thing!
170
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,190
Boat Shows are fun.
- Musicals are fun.
171
00:09:45,357 --> 00:09:47,193
They would be if they were Boat Shows!
172
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:52,127
I can't believe I'm saying this but
let's get to dance class a little early today.
173
00:09:52,881 --> 00:09:54,755
Oh good, Mr. Vargus likes punctuality.
174
00:09:55,005 --> 00:09:56,273
Oh my God!
175
00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:09,019
Where you been? 3 minutes till curtain.
176
00:10:09,269 --> 00:10:11,605
I'm sorry. I had to blow Jeff off,
it took longer than I expected.
177
00:10:11,855 --> 00:10:13,814
What do ya think,
the guy's not 18 anymore.
178
00:10:19,372 --> 00:10:20,349
Blow him off!
179
00:10:20,516 --> 00:10:22,408
As in "not go to the Boat Show with him".
180
00:10:23,464 --> 00:10:25,035
You know, I thought...
- Yeah, I know what you thought.
181
00:10:31,183 --> 00:10:33,602
It's a great show, huh?
- Best so far.
182
00:10:33,769 --> 00:10:35,510
Are you on the market
for something today?
183
00:10:36,129 --> 00:10:37,778
No, I'm just looking.
184
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:41,916
So, does this thing hold a lot of seaman?
185
00:10:44,221 --> 00:10:46,904
Yes, 'cause that's
how you'd say it, sir.
186
00:10:49,393 --> 00:10:50,393
It's a classic.
187
00:10:52,248 --> 00:10:54,762
I know you're at your show.
Call me at intermission.
188
00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:57,067
Something terrific just happened.
189
00:10:58,863 --> 00:11:00,028
Hey, Mike.
190
00:11:00,278 --> 00:11:03,031
Hey, man, it's good to see you.
I was hoping you'd be here.
191
00:11:03,281 --> 00:11:04,992
Wouldn't miss it.
Gotta check out the new models.
192
00:11:05,242 --> 00:11:07,144
Me too, and in my spare time
193
00:11:07,311 --> 00:11:08,787
I look at the boats.
194
00:11:09,826 --> 00:11:10,826
So...
195
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,528
Is Jenny here?
196
00:11:13,454 --> 00:11:16,054
No, turns out she never liked it.
She only came because I made her.
197
00:11:16,304 --> 00:11:18,783
Finally, she just said:
"Mike, I'm done."
198
00:11:19,473 --> 00:11:21,517
Yeah, I think Audrey's Boat Show
days are behind her too.
199
00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:23,952
Yeah, well, Jenny wasn't just
talking about the Boat Show.
200
00:11:24,119 --> 00:11:27,106
She was talking about the Mike Show.
She's out.
201
00:11:27,692 --> 00:11:28,692
Sorry.
202
00:11:29,163 --> 00:11:31,819
Wow, you guys were married awhile.
- 12 years.
203
00:11:32,711 --> 00:11:33,863
Same as me and Audrey.
204
00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:37,241
Well, then you know
what I'm talking about, right?
205
00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:40,578
You know, you start to grow apart,
you don't like the same things anymore.
206
00:11:41,072 --> 00:11:42,685
Including each other.
207
00:11:44,445 --> 00:11:46,058
I don't know why I'm laughing,
208
00:11:46,225 --> 00:11:47,532
she took all my stuff.
209
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,174
Hey, you know, this is
the first theater I was ever in.
210
00:11:53,424 --> 00:11:54,837
Really? When was that?
211
00:11:56,727 --> 00:11:59,889
I must've been seven years old.
- Your parents took you?
212
00:12:00,337 --> 00:12:03,302
No, God no. They were too busy
screaming at each other.
213
00:12:03,469 --> 00:12:06,729
I had a nanny named Helga
who was a bigger woman.
214
00:12:06,979 --> 00:12:08,324
Arms like a longshoreman.
215
00:12:08,869 --> 00:12:10,533
She bundled me up
216
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:12,368
the next thing I know we're here,
217
00:12:12,814 --> 00:12:15,796
in this whole other world where people
are singing, and dancing, and happy
218
00:12:15,963 --> 00:12:17,031
and I just loved it.
219
00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:21,926
Yeah, oldest story
in the book though, right?
220
00:12:22,536 --> 00:12:26,589
Except for usually I'm telling it once
to be a vita, not bang a vita.**
221
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,805
It's pretty lame, right?
- No, not at all.
222
00:12:30,152 --> 00:12:32,025
You have nothing
to be embarassed about.
223
00:12:32,192 --> 00:12:34,590
Jeff cried his eyes out
on** "Mr. Holland's Opus".
224
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,217
Really?
- Yes.
225
00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:39,276
There's nothing unmanly
about showing your emotions.
226
00:12:39,666 --> 00:12:43,057
It's actually very atractive
to women when men are sensitive.
227
00:12:44,729 --> 00:12:46,273
Maybe you're right.
228
00:12:46,697 --> 00:12:47,891
I once got a happy ending
229
00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:51,045
for pretending to cry
at my grandma's funeral.
230
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:53,096
Oh, here we go.
231
00:12:58,753 --> 00:13:00,908
She and I just drifted apart,
232
00:13:01,158 --> 00:13:03,387
we navigated into some stormy waters
233
00:13:03,554 --> 00:13:05,830
and set sail for different horizons.
234
00:13:06,482 --> 00:13:09,568
Then my accountant started
dropping anchor in her harbor.
235
00:13:11,215 --> 00:13:14,458
Painful but kudos for sticking
with the nautical theme.
236
00:13:15,381 --> 00:13:17,508
Yeah, but... It's better now, you know?
237
00:13:18,246 --> 00:13:21,137
I don't have anybody yapping
in my ear about the antique show
238
00:13:21,737 --> 00:13:23,506
or some dumb cooking class.
239
00:13:23,896 --> 00:13:25,602
Although cooking would come in handy.
240
00:13:25,769 --> 00:13:29,102
The pizza delivery guy is starting
to make comments, like he's got a life.
241
00:13:31,075 --> 00:13:32,523
So you're doing OK.
242
00:13:32,773 --> 00:13:34,342
Oh man, I'm having a ball.
243
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:38,359
I play golf all I want,
I play video poker till 4 am,
244
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,323
I got a two-day pass for the Boat Show.
245
00:13:40,573 --> 00:13:42,491
Isn't that sweet?
Are you coming tomorrow?
246
00:13:42,741 --> 00:13:44,501
How about bowling?
Do you like bowling?
247
00:13:44,917 --> 00:13:46,537
I'm pretty much free any night.
248
00:13:47,050 --> 00:13:49,582
Or Atlantic City. I know this great bus.
249
00:13:49,749 --> 00:13:52,793
It doesn't have air conditioning
but you get 10$ in quarters.
250
00:13:53,386 --> 00:13:54,545
Last time I went
251
00:13:54,795 --> 00:13:56,761
the old woman next
to me got heat stroke
252
00:13:56,928 --> 00:13:58,466
and I got her quarters.
253
00:13:59,066 --> 00:14:01,886
I can't promise that that
will happen when you and I...
254
00:14:02,136 --> 00:14:04,180
Phone call.
- I didn't even hear it ring.
255
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:06,505
It's on vibrate.
- But I didn't hear it go...
256
00:14:11,653 --> 00:14:13,092
Which is...
- Hello?
257
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,260
Emergency?
258
00:14:15,762 --> 00:14:16,567
I'll be right there.
259
00:14:17,653 --> 00:14:19,570
I gotta go, there's an emergency.
260
00:14:19,971 --> 00:14:22,052
What kind of emergency?
- Very bad.
261
00:14:22,219 --> 00:14:24,659
A lot of blood. Real horror show.
262
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:28,555
Can I come with?
- Just stay in the boat, Michael.
263
00:14:35,043 --> 00:14:36,754
That was our best show so far.
264
00:14:37,004 --> 00:14:40,461
I know. I'm gonna have to totally
rethink my Tony predictions.
265
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:42,969
Should we go get some coffee?
266
00:14:43,418 --> 00:14:45,118
Yeah, let me hit the restroom.
267
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,014
Damn * there are no intermissions.
268
00:14:50,392 --> 00:14:51,519
Great, you're here.
269
00:14:51,938 --> 00:14:53,229
Jeff, what are you doing here?
Is everything OK?
270
00:14:53,479 --> 00:14:54,355
It's fine.
271
00:14:54,869 --> 00:14:57,522
What's going on?
- I just thought I'd take you to dinner,
272
00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,277
and you could tell me about
the singing and dancing you saw and
273
00:15:01,862 --> 00:15:03,597
you know, what makes them do all that.
274
00:15:05,302 --> 00:15:07,159
Why aren't you at the Boat Show?
275
00:15:07,409 --> 00:15:09,578
Truth is, it wasn't that
much fun without you.
276
00:15:10,816 --> 00:15:11,747
Really?
277
00:15:12,272 --> 00:15:13,451
That's so sweet.
278
00:15:14,561 --> 00:15:17,503
Plus I realized that if you do
too many things seperately
279
00:15:17,753 --> 00:15:19,781
you could wind up on
a bus to Atlantic City
280
00:15:19,948 --> 00:15:22,216
stealing quarters off
an old lady with heat stroke.
281
00:15:24,348 --> 00:15:25,720
That makes no sense.
282
00:15:26,481 --> 00:15:27,481
See...
283
00:15:28,735 --> 00:15:30,591
The bus isn't air conditioned.
284
00:15:31,726 --> 00:15:33,033
So if you weren't having a good time
285
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,479
why did I get a message
that said "something terrific happened"?
286
00:15:35,729 --> 00:15:37,455
That was early on.
287
00:15:37,622 --> 00:15:39,859
I scored big with a seaman pun.
288
00:15:42,444 --> 00:15:44,396
Anyway, from now on I think
that we should make an effort
289
00:15:44,563 --> 00:15:47,033
to like the things
the other person likes.
290
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:50,026
And who knows?
291
00:15:50,193 --> 00:15:52,705
Maybe we can find
something we like doing together.
292
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:55,166
I can think of one or two things.
293
00:15:55,719 --> 00:15:57,315
Two? What's the other one?
294
00:15:58,528 --> 00:16:00,880
Hey, Audrey, I got us t-shirts.
All they had was extra large.
295
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:02,515
That could make it work.**
296
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,986
This isn't a strip club!
297
00:16:06,437 --> 00:16:08,848
What's going on here?
- Russell, stop.
298
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,804
You knew he was...
Did you guys come together?
299
00:16:16,514 --> 00:16:17,688
The truth is,
300
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,067
I'm nailing your wife.
301
00:16:21,692 --> 00:16:22,902
Don't get mad.
302
00:16:23,152 --> 00:16:24,730
Here's the deal.
303
00:16:25,764 --> 00:16:28,764
Russell and I have been coming
to the theater all week together
304
00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:30,993
and it's been really
wonderful sharing that with him.
305
00:16:31,243 --> 00:16:32,536
Him?
- Yes.
306
00:16:33,506 --> 00:16:35,379
He has this whole other side
307
00:16:35,546 --> 00:16:37,148
that is cultured and kind
308
00:16:37,685 --> 00:16:38,793
and sensitive.
309
00:16:39,043 --> 00:16:40,753
But he won't show it to you 'cause
310
00:16:41,003 --> 00:16:43,494
he's afraid you'll make fun of him.
- Thank you, I'm a dead man.
311
00:16:44,539 --> 00:16:45,684
No, you are not.
312
00:16:46,429 --> 00:16:48,761
Jeff, please tell him
you're not gonna tease him.
313
00:16:49,011 --> 00:16:52,181
I'd only do that so he might
see it coming a little bit less.
314
00:16:54,982 --> 00:16:56,890
Russell's a theater queen.
315
00:16:57,653 --> 00:16:59,021
I may have to quit my job
316
00:16:59,271 --> 00:17:01,357
to focus on this full-time.
317
00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:04,251
You might wanna take a break
318
00:17:04,418 --> 00:17:07,196
so you can pop in Mr. Holland's Opus
319
00:17:07,789 --> 00:17:09,922
and cry like Betsy Wetsy.
320
00:17:11,057 --> 00:17:13,815
I only told him to show...
- Just like a woman.
321
00:17:13,982 --> 00:17:16,398
Can't keep anything
from her girlfriends.
322
00:17:18,132 --> 00:17:20,994
Poor Mr. Holland. Had to give up
his dreams and teach highschool.
323
00:17:22,211 --> 00:17:25,005
Changed those kids' lives.
Gave'em the gift of music.
324
00:17:25,395 --> 00:17:28,801
So did professor Harold Hill in
The Music Man. He changed the whole town.
325
00:17:29,051 --> 00:17:32,221
Prancing around and singing
a bunch of stuff he could've just said?
326
00:17:33,132 --> 00:17:34,858
Robert Preston did not pranc.
327
00:17:35,025 --> 00:17:37,435
He marched proudly
as he led the big parade.
328
00:17:37,685 --> 00:17:40,062
Not that I know
what kind of parade that was.**
329
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:44,752
Mr. Holland, I gave up all my dreams.
330
00:17:46,652 --> 00:17:47,683
Good.
331
00:17:49,739 --> 00:17:50,744
Excellent.
332
00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:55,756
What?
333
00:17:55,923 --> 00:17:58,787
It's just a stupid dance.
What is it that I'm doing so wrong?
334
00:18:01,042 --> 00:18:03,215
She had like 80 fries at lunch today.
335
00:18:04,749 --> 00:18:06,535
All right, let's try it again.
336
00:18:09,551 --> 00:18:10,635
You just watch.
337
00:18:18,491 --> 00:18:21,499
I need another hankie,
I'm Mr. Holland's doofus. **
338
00:18:22,012 --> 00:18:24,760
I'd like one
on the aisle for Oklahoma.
339
00:18:25,255 --> 00:18:26,443
Shut up!
340
00:18:26,859 --> 00:18:29,214
You guys have been doing
this for like 11 blocks.
341
00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:31,455
You know,
for one brief, shining moment
342
00:18:31,622 --> 00:18:34,159
I had theater buddy Russell
and sweet husband Jeff.
343
00:18:34,409 --> 00:18:35,744
And just like
that it's back to:
344
00:18:35,994 --> 00:18:38,111
"You have feelings."
"You like things."
345
00:18:38,278 --> 00:18:39,614
"You're gay."
"No, you're gay."
346
00:18:39,781 --> 00:18:40,832
What, are you guys 8?
347
00:18:43,201 --> 00:18:44,900
He is.
- You are.
348
00:18:45,879 --> 00:18:46,842
Shut up!
349
00:18:47,009 --> 00:18:49,633
Why are all man friendships
based on insulting each other?
350
00:18:50,063 --> 00:18:51,343
I think it's very sad
351
00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:54,537
that you go through life just looking
for ways to cut each other down.
352
00:18:57,556 --> 00:18:58,952
Maybe she's right.
353
00:18:59,377 --> 00:19:01,545
We do waste a lot of time * each other.
354
00:19:01,712 --> 00:19:03,972
It wouldn't kill us
to grow up a little.
355
00:19:04,354 --> 00:19:05,354
I guess not.
356
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:11,821
That's Adam.
357
00:19:13,448 --> 00:19:14,783
Dancing with a dude.
358
00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:18,516
No way!
359
00:19:20,632 --> 00:19:22,541
This is too good.
- Let's get him.
360
00:19:39,707 --> 00:19:42,022
Very impressive choice
for your comeback.
361
00:19:42,189 --> 00:19:43,600
This musical is
3 and a half hours long.
362
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:46,181
Just more time
I get to spend with the woman I love.
363
00:19:48,886 --> 00:19:51,236
Holy smokes. What are the odds.
364
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:52,696
Are you a single?
365
00:19:53,311 --> 00:19:56,032
I'm third row center.
Can we swap so I can sit next to my friend?
366
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,355
Sure.
367
00:19:57,755 --> 00:19:58,755
Thank you.
368
00:20:00,347 --> 00:20:01,977
This is great!
369
00:20:03,613 --> 00:20:06,042
Wow, pretty lady.
So you guys are still together?
370
00:20:08,556 --> 00:20:10,672
You wanna grab a bite after?
It's on me.
371
00:20:10,922 --> 00:20:13,135
I cleaned up in Atlantic City.
372
00:20:15,608 --> 00:20:19,101
Is your weekend booked?
Because we have got a sweet fussball table
373
00:20:19,268 --> 00:20:20,765
at the rec room at my complex.
374
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,269
The teenagers usually hog it
but sometimes you get lucky.
375
00:20:25,188 --> 00:20:26,896
If not we can hit the jacooze
376
00:20:27,146 --> 00:20:28,532
get our soak on.
377
00:20:28,699 --> 00:20:31,151
You're not supposed
to go in naked but I probably will.
378
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,279
I don't like * urine on my shorts.
379
00:20:34,329 --> 00:20:38,879
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