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♪ There's a place you gotta go ♪
2
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:07,806
♪ For learning all you oughta
know about the facts of life ♪
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00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,441
♪ The facts of life ♪
4
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,443
♪ When your books are
what you're there about ♪
5
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,445
♪ But looks are
what you care about ♪
6
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,414
♪ The time is right to
learn the facts of life ♪
7
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:19,852
♪ When the world never seems ♪
8
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,688
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
9
00:00:23,758 --> 00:00:25,690
♪ It's time you
started finding out ♪
10
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,027
♪ What everything is all about ♪
11
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:31,096
♪ When the boys you
used to hate you date ♪
12
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,499
♪ I guess you best
investigate the facts of life ♪
13
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,234
♪ You gotta get 'em right ♪
14
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,470
♪ The facts of life ♪
15
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♪♪
16
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,912
♪ The facts of life ♪
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♪ The facts of life ♪♪
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00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:58,123
Now, after this weekend, we're heading
into the toughest part of the semester.
19
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,993
So that means we
gotta cut down on TV,
20
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,362
phone calls, gab sessions,
and concentrate on your studies.
21
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,664
Mr. Bradley, haven't
you ever heard the saying,
22
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,734
"All work and no play,
makes Jack a dull boy?"
23
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:13,638
Well, even a dull boy would
be welcome around here.
24
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,873
Yes.
25
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:19,211
Well... we have to buckle down.
26
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,214
Miss Mahoney.
27
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,152
Uh, shall we tell them about the
surprise history test on Friday?
28
00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,964
What? No! No!
29
00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:32,190
Nah, let's just keep
it a surprise. Oh.
30
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:37,940
Come on. Let's get the
Ouija board out. Okay.
31
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:40,332
The lights.
32
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:42,678
Blair, ask how we're
gonna do on the test.
33
00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,636
Forget it, Molly.
34
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,938
Let's ask it an
important question.
35
00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:52,510
Tell me, Ouija, how old
will I be when I get married?
36
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:56,080
Doo-doo, doo-doo. Doo-doo,
doo-doo. Doo-doo, doo-doo.
37
00:01:56,150 --> 00:02:00,152
Three. Doo-doo, doo-doo.
Doo-doo, doo-doo. Doo-doo, doo-doo.
38
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:03,088
Thirty.
39
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:06,458
Thirty? You won't even
have your own teeth.
40
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,972
Natalie, let's see if we
can get through to Harvey,
41
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:11,996
my dead hamster.
42
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,800
Oh, Harvey,
43
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:19,271
wherever you are in that
big hamster cage in the sky,
44
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:23,541
if you hear me, say
something... just give me a sign.
45
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,579
Come in, Harvey.
46
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,363
Hey, Harvey, for a dead hamster,
47
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,854
you sure are a snappy dresser.
48
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:39,157
I was told I could
find Mrs. Garrett here.
49
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:42,427
You know Mrs. Garrett?
Our Mrs. Garrett?
50
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,729
- Intimately.
- Intimately?
51
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,876
Well, she's not here
right now. Please come in.
52
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,066
Well, thank you. Ah,
won't you sit down?
53
00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:51,068
You're very kind.
54
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:54,238
Hi. My name's Sue Ann.
And this is Tootie... Hi.
55
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,675
Blair, Nancy... Hello.
56
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,677
Cindy... Hi.
57
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,679
- Natalie and Molly.
- Hello.
58
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,015
- Hello, I'm Robert Garrett.
- Mrs. Garrett's husband?
59
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:07,619
- Ex.
- Wow, an X-rated husband.
60
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:13,959
You were married to Mrs.
Garrett? Our Mrs. Garrett?
61
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:17,996
- Until she divorced me.
- On what grounds, insanity?
62
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,277
Would you like to
see a card trick? Oh...
63
00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:24,869
Oh, not now, Tootie. Don't bore
Mr. Garrett with your silly card tricks.
64
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:27,572
Well, as a matter of
fact, I love card tricks.
65
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,142
Well, in that case.
66
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,744
Uh, pick a card, any card.
67
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,447
Any card. Uh-huh.
68
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,683
Now what? Uh, memorize it...
69
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,730
and put it back
in the deck. Hmm.
70
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,954
Uh, anywhere. Anywhere?
71
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,290
Uh-huh.
72
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,292
Check this out. Yeah.
73
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,601
It's gotta be in here somewhere.
74
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,003
This has never
happened to me before.
75
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,951
I-I think it was the
10 of diamonds.
76
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:04,109
I know it's the 10 of
diamonds, but where is it?
77
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:08,012
Yeah, well, could this be it?
78
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,349
How did you do that?
79
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,986
Girls, the shopping
was just awful.
80
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:20,058
I tell you that I...
I... Robert. Mmm!
81
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,365
What are you doing?
82
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:31,703
If she doesn't know what he's doing,
no wonder the marriage didn't work.
83
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,473
Robert, you come
here out of the blue,
84
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,875
kiss me like that
in front of my girls.
85
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:41,544
No, I'm sorry. Uh, girls,
would you mind turning around?
86
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:45,228
Edna... Robert...
Edna... Robert...
87
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,185
Is there someplace
that we can talk?
88
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,932
We have nothing in common
anymore. There's nothing to talk about.
89
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,491
Edna. Mmm!
90
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,333
Well, we'll think of a subject.
91
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,130
Can you believe it?
92
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:01,866
Our Mrs. Garrett must
have had some wild past.
93
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:05,537
Yeah, and her immediate future
doesn't look too shabby either. Whoa!
94
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,942
You know, it... it's
been quite a while.
95
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,245
Over three years, Robert.
96
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,014
Well, how much do
you need this time?
97
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,016
Edna, why is it every
time I come around,
98
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:20,330
you think it's to borrow money
to pay off a gambling debt?
99
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:24,155
Because every time you come around, it's
to borrow money to pay off a gambling debt.
100
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,202
Aw, but, honey,
that's all changed.
101
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:29,305
Why, with my new job, I won't
even be able to touch a deck of cards.
102
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,342
I'm going to be reservations manager
in the new hotel in Atlantic City.
103
00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,633
It'll be nine to five.
104
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:37,001
Are those the hours or the odds?
105
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,838
Look, Edna...
106
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:42,540
I only took this
job because of you.
107
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:46,344
And if I can come home to
you every night, I'll keep it.
108
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,713
Will you marry me again?
109
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:54,419
Well, it's taking you
a long time to answer.
110
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:58,590
I should have taken that
long to answer the first time.
111
00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:01,304
Listen, honey, remember all
the good times we used to have?
112
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:04,796
Remember our apartment in
New York overlooking Central Park?
113
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:08,700
Hmm. The rides
in the hansom cab.
114
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:13,171
And those moonlight
boat rides on the lake.
115
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:17,542
Remember the time
we almost fell in?
116
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:20,278
Oh, honey, let's
rekindle that old spark.
117
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,747
Let me take you to the best
restaurant in town, hmm?
118
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,483
Violins, champagne, candlelight.
119
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,052
At 1:00 in the afternoon?
120
00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:29,854
I need all the help I can get.
121
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,490
Robert, promise me
one thing. Anything.
122
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,393
If you ask me to marry
you again, and I say "yes,"
123
00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:38,162
can we make it two out of three?
124
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,968
They've been gone
for three hours.
125
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,382
Don't you think they should
have been back by now?
126
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,606
He took her to
lunch at La Maison.
127
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:50,909
That's the fanciest
restaurant in town.
128
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:54,712
If he took her to a place like that, he
must have something up his sleeve.
129
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:58,750
It better be money, 'cause
that place costs a fortune.
130
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,119
They've been divorced
for 15 years now.
131
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,234
Why do you think
Mr. Garrett came back?
132
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,358
Maybe he forgot his laundry.
133
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:11,095
Did you see the way they looked
at each other on the way out?
134
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:13,376
I didn't notice
anything special.
135
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,602
Are you kidding? They looked to me
like they got the hots for each other.
136
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,538
At their age?
137
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:24,242
Maybe they have the
"lukewarms" for each other.
138
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,244
Do you know what I think?
139
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,946
I bet he came back to
ask her to marry him again.
140
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:32,050
If you ask me, I think that
they should just live together.
141
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,986
Without being married?
She wouldn't do that.
142
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:37,822
It's not right for people
to just live together.
143
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,124
Why not? We do.
144
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:43,027
It's them.
145
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:45,441
Come on. Let's get out of
here and give 'em a little privacy.
146
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,444
But, Sue Ann, what happens if
they get married and he moves in?
147
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,513
He can't move in.
Why not? Why not?
148
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:53,070
We don't have a men's room.
149
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,540
Come on. Let's go.
150
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,542
Molly!
151
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:05,617
♪ I'm forever blowing bubbles ♪
152
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,030
Oh, I shouldn't have had
that last drink of champagne,
153
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:10,121
or even the first.
154
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,958
Oh, you were always a
terrible influence on me.
155
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,561
I never drank so much
champagne in my life.
156
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,900
Oh. Oh-ho. Mm-hmm.
157
00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:28,372
Hello, Mrs. Garrett
here. Who are you?
158
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,576
Oh, Mr. Bradley.
159
00:08:34,113 --> 00:08:38,016
I made out the
menus for next week.
160
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:41,986
Uh, you want them
now? Am I busy?
161
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,923
Well, my hands are full.
162
00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:47,792
Oh, oh, I... I-I have...
163
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,127
I have the menus in my purse.
164
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,598
All right. I'll bring 'em
over right away. I...
165
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,568
Mmm. I...
166
00:08:57,571 --> 00:09:00,137
Good-bye.
167
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:03,875
Excuse me, Robert. I have to
run something over to the office.
168
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:06,956
I-I'll be right back. Yeah,
Yeah. Do... Do-Do hurry back.
169
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,681
I will.
170
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,852
♪ Oh, every time it rains ♪
171
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:18,956
♪ It rains pennies from heaven ♪
172
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,293
♪ Don't you know... ♪♪
Excuse me.
173
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:24,061
Oh, of course, uh, cutie.
174
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,731
That's Tootie.
175
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,167
You know, you made me
look pretty dumb this morning.
176
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,869
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
177
00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:35,072
All the girls here can
do something special.
178
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:39,043
The only thing I've got going
for me was that lousy card trick.
179
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,757
Yeah. Well, would you like
me to teach you another one?
180
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:45,116
No, you took all
the magic out of it.
181
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:48,519
Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I'll
try a little solitary poker.
182
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,723
Oh, poker. Could you teach me?
183
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,025
My daddy plays
that all the time.
184
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,729
And if I can get him in a game,
maybe I can up my allowance.
185
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,777
Why, sure. I'll be
glad to teach you.
186
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,779
All right now.
187
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,736
Hmm. Hey, this is great.
188
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,738
Then we can teach the girls.
189
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,785
Sure. And you can
play for something.
190
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:11,576
Like, uh, toothpicks
or matchsticks.
191
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:14,112
What you got against cash?
192
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:20,618
Thanks, Mr. Bradley. Okay.
193
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,188
Don't put it away, Mr. Bradley.
194
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,457
I have to take another
$18 out of my account.
195
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,739
You too? Boy, there really has
been a run on the bank this week.
196
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:33,030
Well, it's my brother's birthday
tomorrow, and I have to send him a gift.
197
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:36,100
Uh, you sent your brother
a gift yesterday, Nancy,
198
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:38,147
and your sister the day before.
199
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:41,505
Uh, well, this is
for another brother.
200
00:10:41,575 --> 00:10:43,541
You certainly have a full house.
201
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:47,879
If I did, I wouldn't be asking
you for money. Thank you.
202
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,852
Oh, Mr. Bradley. I need 20 more
dollars for some hockey equipment.
203
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,620
More hockey equipment?
204
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:59,256
Well, okay, I guess. Oh, thanks.
205
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,303
No, now, wait...
Wait a minute, Cindy.
206
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,539
On Monday, you drew out
money for a hockey stick.
207
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:06,564
On Tuesday, for skates.
Now, what's this $20 for?
208
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,632
Uh, ice.
209
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,673
Mr. Bradley.
210
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,343
Natalie's mother just called.
She would like to know...
211
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:23,447
why you are charging the girls
$40 each for biology supplies.
212
00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:26,684
What are you talking about? I
didn't order any biology supplies.
213
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,987
Still using last year's frog.
214
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:33,624
Mr. Bradley, are you
trying to drive me cuckoo?
215
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:37,128
No, just trying to handle this run on the
bank. Suddenly, everybody needs money.
216
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,709
Molly, what are you doing here
again? I told you we're bankrupt.
217
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,866
Your account is
zip, zero, zilch.
218
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:45,437
No problem, Mr. Bradley. When the well runs
dry, you can't get blood from a turnip.
219
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:48,406
We all have to pull in our belts.
Can I use your yellow pages?
220
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,488
Uh, yellow pages.
Yeah, sure. There you go.
221
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,289
Uh, what... what do
you want them for?
222
00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:56,726
I'm gonna look up a pawn
shop so I can hock my typewriter.
223
00:11:56,750 --> 00:12:00,051
Hock her typewriter? She
doesn't own a typewriter.
224
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,586
That is our typewriter.
225
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,588
I better check this out.
226
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:10,628
Okay, I'll see your bet
and raise you 50 cents.
227
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,178
Come on, Nancy.
What are you gonna do?
228
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:19,871
- I don't know.
- Oh, here.
229
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,841
Hmm, three queens.
You should go out.
230
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:29,647
- So what are you
gonna do, Natalie?
- Oh, I have two fours.
231
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:33,151
I see your raise
and up it a quarter.
232
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:36,620
Natalie, what are
you raising for?
233
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,423
Two fours does not beat queens.
234
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:41,459
I know that, and you know that.
235
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,028
But how do we know
that she knows that?
236
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:48,399
Who's the winner,
Mr. Garrett. You know the rules.
237
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:50,546
Oh, forget about
my rules, Molly,
238
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,671
- Tootie's rules are more fun.
- I guess I win.
239
00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:56,774
Hold it, itchy fingers.
240
00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,210
Read 'em and weep.
241
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,846
All red.
242
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,348
Come to Mama.
243
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,651
You're really nice to teach us
how to play poker, Mr. Garrett.
244
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,921
This is much more
fun than studying.
245
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,690
Too bad we have to stop
playing and start studying...
246
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,993
so we don't flunk our
history test tomorrow.
247
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:17,394
What do you mean,
"stop playing"?
248
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,731
Shut up and deal!
249
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,673
♪ Here I go again ♪
250
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:31,009
♪ I hear the
trumpets blow again ♪
251
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:33,745
♪ I'm all aglow again ♪
252
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,748
♪ Taking a chance on love ♪
253
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:41,252
♪♪ You're glad Robert showed
up, aren't you, Mrs. Garrett?
254
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,255
Oh, I'm havin'
one heck of a time!
255
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,435
I was about your age
when I first met him.
256
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:50,561
Fresh off the farm. And
he was a smooth city slicker.
257
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:54,431
Gorgeous. Swept
me right off my feet.
258
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,002
How romantic. But,
why'd you break up?
259
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:01,338
Well, dear, one
day the bubble burst.
260
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,341
I came home and all
the furniture was gone.
261
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,956
He had to sell it to pay
off his gambling debts.
262
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,347
How tacky.
263
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:11,360
Couldn't you tell
he was a gambler?
264
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:15,686
How is a gambler
supposed to look, hmm?
265
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:18,990
Besides, I was 18
and madly in love.
266
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:23,560
Girls, you have no idea what it is to be
married to a gambler who cannot quit.
267
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:27,165
Mrs. Garret, you should have
dumped him. A guy like that is bad news.
268
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:30,233
But they were in love. You've
gotta work through the tough times.
269
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:33,015
That's what my mom told me,
and she has a happy marriage.
270
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,574
Big deal. My mom knows much
more about happy marriages.
271
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:39,443
She's had three of them.
272
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,778
Look, I know I'm an
incurable romantic.
273
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:44,015
Well, I hope you're
not contagious.
274
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,395
Look, Sue Ann, marriage
is enough of a gamble...
275
00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:49,120
without starting off with the
deck stacked against you.
276
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:51,184
Look, if you plan on
a trip, you don't get
277
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:53,324
off the bus because
of one little flat tire.
278
00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:56,760
How could you reason with someone
who would take a trip on a bus?
279
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,531
Okay, let's say your
Mercedes has a flat tire.
280
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,533
What do you do, junk it?
281
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:05,603
No, I'd just take my Jaguar.
282
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:11,275
Look, Sue Ann, we're talking
about Mrs. Garrett's future happiness.
283
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:14,011
We can't send her out
in an old clunker like that.
284
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,814
Mr. Garrett is not a clunker.
285
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:19,250
What are you gonna
do now, Mrs. Garrett?
286
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,953
I don't know. He
says he's changed.
287
00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:23,955
Oh, my head says, "Forget it."
288
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,590
But my heart says, "Who knows?"
289
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,861
I got to admit, I'm tempted.
290
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,774
Go with your heart, Mrs.
Garrett. Take a ride with him.
291
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:36,367
Take my advice, Mrs.
Garrett. Wait for a cab.
292
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:39,882
Mrs. Garrett.
293
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,906
Come in.
294
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,953
Mrs. Garrett. What is going on?
295
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,255
We've been all over the
campus, and nobody's talking.
296
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,125
- What do you mean?
- All the girls are drawing
their money out of the bank.
297
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:52,516
They're going through their savings faster
than Carter goes through his cabinet.
298
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,186
What in the world are
they spending it on?
299
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,989
Oh, that's simple. Let's go
upstairs and ask the girls.
300
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,469
Mrs. Garrett, I will bet this
problem is of your doing.
301
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,293
You don't know what
you're talking about.
302
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,740
I don't have to know what I'm
talking about. I'm management.
303
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,830
Gotta blame somebody. Coming?
304
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,267
I'll be right along.
305
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,241
♪ Taking a chance on ♪
306
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,944
♪ Love ♪♪
307
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,880
Ahh!
308
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:27,918
Okay. We'll play
Mississippi riverboat, lowball.
309
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,489
One-eyed jacks, dirty
ladies and deuces are wild.
310
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,392
What is going one here?
311
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:39,663
Don't look now, guys, but
I think we are in trouble.
312
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:44,034
That man. Who is that man?
313
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:48,472
- Mrs. Garrett's ex-husband.
- Our Mrs. Garrett?
314
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,519
What are you doing here?
315
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,144
What is a man doing in a girls
dormitory? I need an explanation.
316
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,646
Ah, it's simple.
I'm Robert Garrett.
317
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:58,460
Stephen Bradley. Nice to meet you,
and how soon can you be out of here?
318
00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,717
All right, girls.
The game is over.
319
00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:04,322
Wait a minute,
I'm out six bucks.
320
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:08,392
Now, Cindy, and all of you girls...
women... I'm a liberal educator.
321
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,962
But gambling at Eastland? Never.
322
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,397
Playing cards with children?
323
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:17,301
Who's playing? I only taught Tootie.
I'm just coaching the other girls.
324
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,738
- It... It's just a game.
- That's right.
325
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:23,040
Making money out
of it was my idea.
326
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,109
That's the American way.
327
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:30,414
Mr. Bradley, do you realize
what's happened here? Yes.
328
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,416
I didn't think so.
329
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,197
What has happened here is that
girls who were entrusted to us...
330
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,089
have been turned into
cutthroat card sharks.
331
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,602
Miss Mahoney... Now that
they're hooked on gambling,
332
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,604
they're getting
into the heavy stuff.
333
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:46,564
Lying to their parents and to us
to get poker money? Look at them.
334
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:50,072
What we have here are
the Muppets of Monte Carlo.
335
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,214
Don't you think you're
overreacting? It isn't as if...
336
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,172
the girls blew up
the school bus, or...
337
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,740
Or anything like that.
338
00:17:56,810 --> 00:18:00,011
Are you condoning this gambling?
I wouldn't think of condoning it.
339
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,313
Now, wait a minute.
Poker isn't that bad.
340
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:04,415
You can learn something from it.
341
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:07,418
Yeah. Poker's educational.
342
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,865
It's a great sport. You
could really learn from it.
343
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,223
Everything from
psychology to arithmetic.
344
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,225
You may have a
point. The deed is done.
345
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:18,930
Let's see if we can get something positive
out of this... a... a learning experience.
346
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:22,233
I have a learning experience
for you, Mr. Bradley.
347
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,613
There are 11 directors
on the school board.
348
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,683
Three of them vote to retain a
headmaster who condones gambling.
349
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,685
How many vote to kick him out?
350
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,908
Eight.
351
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:35,913
Girls, you've helped me
come to a... a decision.
352
00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:39,550
From here on out, gambling
is kaput, finished, over.
353
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,060
And to help you learn
this point, I will accept
354
00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:44,288
this poker money for
our scholarship fund.
355
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,568
Ah, well, that's
a good idea. Yes.
356
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:49,961
Hey, whatever happened
to free enterprise?
357
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,430
You have the cards,
Natalie? Thank you.
358
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:56,033
All right now.
Back to the books.
359
00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:01,439
What is it, Robert?
360
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,841
What are you doing?
361
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,223
Oh, it-it... it's not
what it seems.
362
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,581
Look, I can explain all of this.
363
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:14,751
Mrs. Garrett, I trust you'll escort
Nick "the Greek" to the state line?
364
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,289
Coming, Miss Mahoney?
365
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,427
Well, I guess... I guess
it looks bad, huh, Edna?
366
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,863
You're not teaching
my girls to...
367
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:28,932
Well, now-now what's wrong with
teaching them how to play cards?
368
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,837
You really don't see
what's wrong about it, do ya?
369
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:38,042
Oh, I've never
seen such... such...
370
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:39,743
Nerve? Gall?
371
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,745
Chutzpah?
372
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:46,383
You know, when I saw you
tonight, I was gonna say "yes" to ya.
373
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,386
Well, you can still say "yes."
374
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:51,655
Look, it-it's all different now.
Come on, Edna. Take a chance.
375
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,857
Yeah, Mrs. Garrett. Go for it.
376
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,460
You better think before
you go for it, Mrs. Garrett.
377
00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:00,064
Marriages are based on trust,
and how can you trust a gambler?
378
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,899
Yeah, but everyone has faults.
379
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:07,004
And remember, Mrs. Garrett.
None of us are getting any younger.
380
00:20:07,072 --> 00:20:11,942
Marrying the wrong man at any age is
no answer. Mrs. Garrett doesn't need that.
381
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,556
Molly, you're forgetting
the most important part.
382
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,514
He makes her happy.
383
00:20:16,582 --> 00:20:20,117
Besides, it'll save her the bother
of breaking in a new husband.
384
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,487
It could be so romantic.
385
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:27,224
If you got married again, you could take
your second honeymoon on the Mississippi,
386
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:29,271
since he has to go
to St. Louis anyway.
387
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:32,195
Going to St. Louis?
388
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:35,332
Girls, would you
excuse us a minute?
389
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:42,540
St. Louis, huh? I remember.
390
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:46,644
That's where the big poker
game is held this time every year.
391
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:50,748
Yeah, well, I... I was gonna stop in
St. Louis on my way to Atlantic City.
392
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:55,452
And, you know, just wish
the guys luck. Public relations.
393
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:59,390
Oh, sure. Sure, it'll start in St. Louis,
and then you'll go on to Chicago,
394
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,603
Vegas, Reno, the whole circuit.
395
00:21:01,627 --> 00:21:05,128
Oh, now, Edna... Edna, don't make
any quick decisions. I really need you.
396
00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:07,531
Yep, you need me.
397
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,735
And after all these years,
I finally understand why.
398
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:15,072
You need me to be your guardian.
399
00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:17,452
Someone who will write
your excuses for ya...
400
00:21:17,476 --> 00:21:19,810
when you're late for school.
401
00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:23,480
Oh, Robert, you need me,
but for all the wrong reasons.
402
00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:26,484
Well, that's not true. I need
you for all the right reasons.
403
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:30,321
Oh, Robert, I can't dance that
dance anymore. The price is too high.
404
00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:35,225
Okay, Edna. First thing you learn
in poker is when to fold your hand.
405
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:38,595
But there'll be other
games... I mean, other times.
406
00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:40,597
So long, baby.
407
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,569
Yeah.
408
00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:55,746
Oh, it's so romantic.
409
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:59,183
I could just cry.
410
00:21:59,252 --> 00:22:02,386
Uh... Not that
we were listening.
411
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:05,789
Mrs. Garrett, did
you kick him out?
412
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,792
She couldn't. She loves him.
413
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:12,028
Well, girls, you're
both right. I love him,
414
00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:14,064
and I kicked him out.
415
00:22:14,132 --> 00:22:16,467
All right.
416
00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:20,271
Girls, on the double.
417
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:25,909
It's time to start studying for your
Friday surprise history exam. Come on.
418
00:22:25,978 --> 00:22:27,911
Gosh, it's so sad.
419
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:30,781
Well, look at the bright
side. What bright side?
420
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,816
We'll just get out
the Ouija board...
421
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:35,819
and find out who Mrs.
Garrett's next boyfriend will be.
422
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:39,523
Right. Oh, girls, girls.
423
00:22:39,592 --> 00:22:42,058
All right, girls.
Shake your booty!
424
00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:05,649
♪ There's a place you gotta go ♪
425
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:09,553
♪ For learning all you oughta
know about the facts of life ♪
426
00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:11,121
♪ The facts of life ♪
427
00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:13,123
♪ When your books are
what you're there about ♪
428
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,125
♪ But looks are
what you care about ♪
429
00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:18,229
♪ The time is right to
learn the facts of life ♪
430
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:21,532
♪ When the world never seems ♪
431
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:25,636
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
432
00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:27,705
♪ It's time you
started finding out ♪
433
00:23:27,773 --> 00:23:30,841
♪ What everything
is all about ♪♪
33010
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